Why Can't You Love Me As You Love Him?

Why can't you love me as you love him?

Characters: Mitsuya, Reader and Koko

A/N: Swearing, abuse, blood, violent, comforting at the angst, cheating and nsfw scene of mitsuya cheating :D

There's a gun scene so pls if your uncomfortable by it don't read 4 your safety and health

( if your a minor I'll make a line and immediately scroll Thru it and if you see the line again stop there if your okay with that)

Word count: 1.1k+

You looked around the house to see that it was all true.. he cheated. Of course this wasn't the first shit he has ever done, but you just had enough with Mitsuya cheating on you treating like you were a piece of shit. You quietly packed most of your things in the shared bedroom you and mitsuya did a lot of things but who the fuck knows what if they fucked in the bed you slept in?

You felt drained, tired and want to kill him but you can't. You love him, you wanted a distraction, you couldn't just hold your tears anymore as you walked to your friend's house for the time being. You sobbed, sniffles audible and you felt used. You knocked on the door of your friend's house hoping they would answer but the door opened to someone else. A man who has a scar on his face and you assumed he had a blind eye. You sighed and said sorry, leaving the property until you heard your name being called. As you look back you saw your friend, you could recognize them by their face. Though you could see that they changed their hair color to white, you stayed at your spot not moving. Your eyes began to blur, suddenly it went black.

You fainted. It wasn't a surprised since you were weak and haven't eaten a proper meal for a week due to stress. You woke up the next day to a room that's unfamiliar. You heard footsteps behind the door, you freaked out and hid yourself under the blanket shaking. The door was slowly opened, you heard a sigh from the corner of the room. You sneezed by accident and blushed at what happened, the blanket covering you was snatched by the white haired person.

You smiled and saw Koko Hajime, "Hajime!" You cried in happiness and crawled to him, the sudden hug you did caused both you and Koko to fall on the bedroom ground. Since the sudden noise triggered some people and immediately went into the room with guns in their hand ready to shoot. You looked terrified to see them holding guns, you gripped Koko's shirt tight making him bring his hand behind your bag and rub it to attempt to calm you down. You felt scared, terrified, worried, words can't describe how you saw those guns. It felt like you remembered something traumatic..

____________________________

Flash back:

"takashi!~" you opened the house door smiling, you looked around and saw Mitsuya on the couch naked with another girl riding him. You stood there speechless, you wanted to fit him now and there. You felt tears run down your face, "Mitsuya who's this? You didn't say you were in a relationship?" The women asked Mitsuya who stopped riding them.

As soon those words left her lips you felt betrayed. You were married with mitsuya for years, you both planned to even want kids once. The box you were holding fell on the floor, like how your heart shattered in pieces. You noticed the woman was Mitsuya's body type, he just married you because he loved your "Personality". You believed him but in this moment you trust in him. The women has black hair long and straight, skinny, the right amount of breasts and ass, her beautiful face. You can't compare to her at all. It was like she was everything you wanted to have.

Mitsuya's head was thrown back and he looked at you, scoffed and thrusted his hips to women. You heard the woman moan and tears fell beside your eye.

___________________________

You closed the door and ran to the nearest park you knew. Your heart shattered by the man who you loved, who was most of your first. It pained you to see him cheat on you making your heart ache from remembering the memory. After a day you spent at your cousin's house you went back to mitsuya. You knocked on the door to be opened by Mitsuya who had dark circles around his eyes. You looked at it but didn't care for it as you shoved Mitsuya away out of the doorway. when he was about to say something, you walked past him and went upstairs. You stared at the messy bedroom in disgust, then felt an arm wrapping around your neck and pushed you to the wall. Mitsuya held a gun on your forehead pinning you to the wall, you stared at the gun gripping on Mitsuya's shirt that you're scared to be held at gunpoint. He then removed the gun and slapped you, it went by too fast. …..

You didn't even get a proper explanation

End of flashback.

You gripped on Koko's shirt making him sigh and pulled you closer, kissing your forehead and his hand moved to your cheek rubbing it carefully. "I wished she was mine" ".. I wish I was the one that married her ``''… I hate to see her cry, I will kill Mitsuya for cheating her yet again." Koko thought but came back to reality when you held his hand. He blushed and looked at the hand you were holding, he smiled shyly "Y/N.. I'm so sorry.." he whispered to you, you looked at him. You both held eye contact for a while but it broke when a person coughs. You looked at who it was and it was Sanzu, you sighed and let go of Koko looking away. "Leave right now pls" Koko said to the men at the door.

As the men walked out he sat on the bed and pulled you onto him. You fell on his lap and he puts you on his lap, his head on your shoulder and hands rubbing your waist. "I don't understand.. Why would Mitsuya do that? Have you seen yourself? You're beautiful.. he must be blind." Koko blunty said, making you blush and jump out of his embrace. You blushed, making him smile softly, "The most beautiful woman I have ever seen…." He bluntly stated making you turn around, your back facing him blushing so much.

You heard a creak and Koko hugged you from behind, making you smile and turn your head. As you turned your head you accidentally kissed Koko when he was about to kiss your cheek, you blushed but Koko just chuckled.

"Forget about him…"

"I'll show you how it is to be actually loved."

" Just be mine. "

Tags: @ambrodias (kindly dm me if you want to be tagged<3

I wish we had more time

Baji keisuke x Chifuyu Matsuno angst

A/N: Sucidal thoughts, spoiler warner and Sucide

Wc: 1.2k And thank you @/notmiintee in TikTok! For inspiration

Inspired by: Mr lover man and line without a hook<3 credits to @ambrodias for the song suggestion

Just why…?

Why did this happen?

I wished I stopped him.

I LOVE HIM!

WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS

Chifuyu hated what happened, he can't move on. He wanted to kill himself for not stopping him. He loved him. Chifuyu refused that he died.

Why can't he have something good for once?

Chifuyu's pov:

I looked at my window again not expecting a lovely couple walking pass my house. I don't know what came over me but tears fell down my cheeks. I held my cheek looking away, I wish Baji was here..

Why didn't I stop him?

Why didn't I help him..

Why didn't I call the ambulance!?

Narrative pov:

Chifuyu hits himself crying in remembering Baji's dying body on his hold. He wished that Baji lived and is with him, holding hands, and hugging eachother. He wished he Baji was alive but can't. He's dead.

Chifuyu heared a knock on his door making him wipe his tears away and walked to it, opening the door. Someone who he least wanted to meet.

His mother.

She was in tears and when Chifuyu opened the door she slapped him. "If you were a true friend you would have helped Baji!" She yelled at him and slapping him over and over again as she calmed down. "I'm so sorry…" Chifuyu started to cry yet again and closed the door ignoring the yells of the woman.

He wanted to be alone but wanted comfort. Chifuyu slid down the door sitting on the floor, the yelling of Baji's Mom left. Chifuyu grabbing his phone opening it calling his friend, Takimichy. As he accepts the call Chifuyu cried yet again.

"Chifuyu…"

"Why wasn't it me that died?"

"WHY?!"

"he deserves to live.."

"WHY DIDN'T I HELP?!"

"Chifuyu calm down!"

Chifuyu ended the call expecting comfort but wasn't met with his expectations. He needed someone, someone who will comfort them. As that someone died in his arms.

Chifuyu looked out the window yet again to see its midnight, he stared at nothing as he sighed and stood up walking to his room. He entered the room and was immediately met with a mirror when he turns his head. Chifuyu had red circles below his eyes, nose being red from crying and dried up cries on his cheeks. He scoffed.

"If only Baji was here he would scold me"

He chuckled then it soon died down remembering his not here with him anymore. He sighed and layed on his bed, it started.

You don't deserve him

You let him die

You didn't care

If only you stopped him

If only..

If you…

Chifuyu's mind exploded and filled with negative thoughts. If only he was stronger..

He turned around to see an empty slot on his bed, it was reserved for Baj since he usually sneaks out of his house to cuddle with Chifuyu. Chifuyu grips on the sheets and remembers the painful memory. Tears fell down yet again, Chifuyu can't count on how many times he cried since his death.

He wanted to take a nap peacefully but his mind had different plans. He went off his bed and looked at the frames on his bedside tables. One being them together hugging and sharing Yakisoba and one with Baji smiling widely. His heart melted at the memories but he was in pain, he grabbing the frame and faced it down. He did the same to the other and walked out of his room. He walked to his kitchen wanted to drink water but in his fridge is a left over Yakisoba. His and Baji's favorite food. It pained him to see this so he quickly grabbed the water bottle and closed the fridge.

He sat on a chair in his dinner table, he looked around seeing so much memories were made in the room. He smiled forgetting he died, he spaced out remembering and cherishing the memories fills his head. He didn't want to stop, a call interrupted him. He looked around and sighed wishing the memories continue but can't. He looked at the caller id to see that it's Mikey, his leader. He sighed and answer it.

After a while of talking and forgiveness he ended the call, he threw his head back and sighed. Chifuyu looked out of his window from the kitchen to see the sun setting.

Little did he knew..

Baji was there..

Dead but could see what his "friend" was doing..

"Chifuyu… the sunseting looks beautiful isn't it?"

Baji went beside Chifuyu and placed his head on his shoulder.

Chifuyu's eyes widen when he felt something lean on his shoulder. Chifuyu sighed and sniffles came out of him trying to stop crying again. He wished Baji was beside him, comforting him but he isn't.

Chifuyu stood up from the chair and walked to his room. On the way Chifuyu's head lighten and collapses in the ground. He can't breath, can't talk, can't reach for something. He slowly closed his eyes.

"Chifuyu!"

"CHIFUYU!"

Chifuyu woke up, eyes blinking softly. He looked where the sound came from and it's Mikey and Takimichy. One calm and one panicking, Chifuyu smiled softly looking at the two.

Atleast…

If…..

If they are happy I must be happy for them too.

Right..?

It's been months, Chifuyu haven't moved on from Baji's death. Emma died, and Draken died. He cried to himself and wanted to kill himself from the endless pain.

Endless pain..

Chifuyu's mind filled with negative thoughts..

He wished he never lived.

He loves Baji but can't seem to move on.

Even by the countless set ups the gang setted up for him.

He wished to die.

Baji was watching over him, he cried and cried hearing Chifuyu's thoughts. Even had a break down hearing him want to die so he and Baji can live together.

Chifuyu got up from his bed, dressed himself up and looked at the mirror. His room was messy, eye bags in his eyes, water bottles were around the room. He wanted to give up.

So..

He gave up.

He wrote a note and placed it on the fridge, he looked at the sink and grabbing the knife..

Oh why did this have to happen..?

Chifuyu looked at the knife.

The clean knife now a bloody one.

Dear Toman, everyone.

I love you guys so much but I can't bare the endless pain and suffring I have been feeling since Baji's death. I simply can't move on, I know it takes time but it hurts. It hurts to live without him. He's my other life. I feel empty without him.

I love him dearly, I love everyone but.. my time has end.

Kazutora, I hope you grow an adorable pet shop.

Mikey, you have my praise for making a new era of deliquents.

Mitsuya, your born to be a fashion designer, don't stop doing what you love.

The annoying twins, I wished I was your first customer in your ramen shop in the future.

Hakkai, don't be scared of talking to girls ok? :)

Peh yan/pah chin, you guys are best bros and I envy that. I hope you guys are still friends since both of you are like a golden duo.

Shall we meet in another life?

-you former friend Chifuyu Matsuno.

(ps pls message me or comment that you want to be tagged<3 )

Angst/fluff writer's 🤝 smut writers

........ My book is literally there 😭😭 omg???

Bald izana @ambrodias

________

Burn out..

___________________

A/n: Death, and blood<3

Part one/masterlist: Burn out Chapter 1

Paimon looked confused.. They looked around and realized it was a dream. Paimon looked at Aether tilting their head if this was a dream yet again.

"Paimon… '' Aether said in a low voice in sadness, "Aether! Pls don't leave me" paimon grabbed Aether and hugged him tight. Aether was shocked at the sudden touch but quickly pats paimon's head.

"paimon… pls promise me that you won't leave me.." Aether whispered while hugging Paimon on the verge of tears. Paimon wasn't good at comforting since the lack of friends but since they met Aether they met so many friends and they are thankful.

So thankful…..

As the two stopped hugging they heard a shout from captain beiduo that they arrived in inazuma. Both walked out of the room but paimon noticed that aether has red circles below his eyes. Paimon was worried again and spaced out.

Is it because of me?

What did I do?

What did I say?

It's my fault….

Paimon's attention was taken when she felt a hand on their head, it was Beiduo. "Come on kiddo, don't worry about it." "U saw those eye bags and I think it's best if we give Traveler some space is gifts to cheer and give them some time to thing ey?" Beidou grinned happily and paimon looked at her in awe for being so positive.

Well… so many happy memories yet why?

Why did you kill me….

Aether….

ꪗꪮꪊ ρ᥅ꪮꪑ꠸ᦓꫀᦔ! ( You promised )

Paimon followed Aether and they are now on the docks with a person waiting.. His name is Thoma from what paimon could recall. As Aether was walking around, Paimon got lost by the smell of food. As Paimon went another direction, they seemed so distracted they didn't see Aether look at them and left.

Oh Paimon's great fear…

Abandoned.

As hours went by and it's evening Paimon was left in the streets and still in the city. They kept getting chased by guards around the city when Paimon was trying to find Aether. Paimon laid on the grass and cried. Cried because they couldn't find Aether anymore. Paimon's mind filled with negative thoughts when they closed their eyes to sleep. Paimon sobbed and kept saying it's their fault that they were hungry.

Paimon's mind was full of negativity, stomach empty and growling, body shivering because it's cold at night in inazuma. Paimon wanted to go back to Aether again and be warm with him, but full of regret and blamed themselves for being selfish and wanted food.

It's now morning in Inazuma, and it felt dull for Paimon. They didn't want to wake up, they wanted Aether. Paimon didn't notice nor feel when someone carried them somewhere. Paimon felt like it's Aether, Paimon wanted to cry in tears after feeling his presence. As they opened their eyes it wasn't Aether.

It was Thoma smiling at Paimon, Paimon was confused why he was carrying them.

"Paimon! Where have you been?!'' paimon looked at the direction to see Aether. Paimon immediately fell into tears and floated to Aether and hugged him tight. Their tears stained what Aether was wearing. Aether's heart melted when paimon cried. Guilt filled him up.

Ahh…

How Pathetic

How I felt you were home.

Your not

Infact

I wish I never met you.

-paimon

Paimon was always there for Aether. Well, this is just a story isn't it? Paimon was at Aether's lowest, and knew his weaknesses. Just why….

Why didn't you want to find her anymore?

What went wrong?

As Aether was doing his daily commissions he felt tired but there was this last one. Paimon saw that Aether was drained but didn't speak or tell him to rest, afraid to get yelled at. Just like before.

Just like before?

Before…?

Flashback:

"I Swear to the archons paimon! You're so useless, why can't you just stop wasting money on shit?!" Aether snapped at paimon after spending a lot of mora on food when paimon was hungry. Paimon hates being yelled out, tears threatening to fall down on their cheek after getting yelled at by someone who was their home.

Was.

Home.

End of flashback:

Paimon's mind wanted to tell him to take a break but when they finally had the confidence to speak up Aether snapped at the commissioner. "Can't you deliver this letter yourself? You little shit." Aether snapped at the commissioner earning stares at the people around them.

"Well Traveler, let's just do the commission!" Paimon didn't like the stares of people since it was scary for them. Paimon sweats and Aether notices immediately walking fast out of the stares. Paimon followed. Paimon follows Aether fidgeting their fingers together to calm down.

Aether sighed and wished he didn't yell paimon or at anyone even. As if…

He wanted to die.

He wished he never was born. He wished he already found his sister. He wished he was strong enough to defeat the unknown God. He wished and wished. Yet, he can't change a single thing. As Aether sighed yet again he looked at paimon and smiled. Paimon's face went into confusion but they rubbed it off and pulled traveler to continue his commission.

Paimon wonders…..

What happened still?

Paimon is still confused on why or what happened to Aether.

Yet… not even that question is answered. It's a shame, a question that you have been wondering since half your life. Not answered.

It's a shame. How dreadful.

How Pathetic.

I wish I could turn back time..

Let's fast forward shall we?:)

Aether looked at Keqing with a knife in his hand, paimon passed out on the floor by the hard hit Aether did. He was mad, rage controlling his whole body as he didn't see Keqing. Instead it was dain, he blamed him for all the shit he had to do. He wished he was the one that was able to catch up to his sister. Making him grip on the knife more, not knowing it was Keqing. He wished he could turn back.

He stabbed her.. his eyes became small in shock as the knife stabbed Keqing in the stomach. He heard a gasp and he looked in the direction as he saw Ganyu's hand over her mouth. She collapsed on the floor, tears falling down her cheeks. She crawled to Keqing heartbroken to see the one she loved. Not yet even confessed her feelings, "K-Keqing?" Keqing looked at ganyu smiling.

Keqing weakly held Ganyu's hand beside, "Ganyu.. I-I love you so much.. I just didn't have the time to s-say" Ganyu's heart shattered and felt like she stopped breathing. Ganyu kissed Keqing and held her hand tightly, "Us against the world, but the world won. May we meet again next time, if we don’t lets try again the next next life.” Ganyu sadly smiled. Another set of tears falling down. Keqing's eyes slowly closed and warm body replaced with a cold one. Ganyu looked at Aether in rage pulling her cryo bow out ready to aim at Aether.

"WHY?!" "WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT YOU SON OF A BITCH?!" Ganyu yelled at Aether in rage, Aether just stood there not realizing he killed Keqing. His heart melted when he saw Keqing's dead body in front of him. He wanted to vanish from this world called Teyvat. He wanted and wished, yet it never even got fulfilled. He Regreted so much .. but never bothered to fix it.

What a Regret made.

Tags: @luvmisha