The Epic Slog

The Epic Slog

There once was a wee lad who thought virtual humans just didn’t look right without cat ears, so he learned to mod his game.

He grabbed a handful of cool things online, and haphazardly cast them into the shallow basin the tutorials told him was the answer to his pain.

Not first did he consider to organize. No. He rubbed his hands together anxiously and clicked on the game.

And he hoped, and he prayed.

And he clicked “New Game.”

And there she was. The first modded sim. He cloaked her in a wrap of hyperrealistic flesh and filled her skull’s sockets with the gelatinous orbs that actually sparkled in the warm light of a cheese-born stove fire.

And his heart soared at her existence.

But his heart was also dripping as it flew, slowly. And why does a heart drip slowly? That is because a heart penetrated by a blade will not fully rupture, but only bleed with each passing beat. Little at a time, leaking out when not clamped shut by the pressure of the muscles tensing as they propelled blood.

And penetrated his heart had been. Not by dagger or spear, but by the claws of a little writhing worm.

And he required more.

And he went out hunting for more.

Day and night, the ritual repeated. More, more. More modifications. More files. More customized content for this digital world.

Add to the pile. Add to the pile!

The shallow basin dug deeper, and deeper. And across years it became a churning sea of files. Packages like eels, slithering around in the dark. Folders like grand wales, with bellies full of secrets.

And finally, the lad had to look upon what he had made. A massive monument to his lack of caution. For what he had made he had no longer tamed. …because due to poor environmental management, everything was actually completely and utterly dead.

And THAT is why you organize your mod folder! Don’t let it accumulate into forbidden primordial soup over several years.

Because untangling the forbidden primordial soup is very long and very, very boring!

(On a very unrelated note, what is your favorite method of organizing your mod folder?)

Panther Rose

He’s seventeen and he owns a gas station. His serpentine lower body is constantly getting shut in doors. He curses his mother for passing down her giant horns to him. One time, a partially flayed man staggered into his store and died there. Not too much he hasn’t seen at this point.

They’re lesbians, your honor.

When All The Cool Clothes Are Restricted To Fem Models:

Ngl I have so many male sims who are ‘female’ in the code, I just used presets/sliders to change their appearance, changed their pronouns he/him, and set their anatomical functions to what they were supposed to be. I don’t just mean my transmasc dudes either! A lot of my cis men were also made this way to bypass the damn outfit restrictions!

Let my men dress up, damn it!

Hester Rinnick! An absolute badass chiroptera and ex-hitman (business is slow during the zombie apocalypse.) Currently she’s chilling out in a big abandoned house, trying to keep the neighborhood kids safe from looters and people who are taking the collapse of society as an opportunity to be real crappy people.

What is the biggest problem with the Sims 4, in your opinion?