Pain - Tumblr Posts

Notes on passing out from pain

-it's a dramatic concept, but it's not dramatic for the person it happens to. There's no warning or noticable buildup, you just fade out

-by the time you're at the point of passing out, the crescendo of pain that causes it has been there for some time, there's not really a sudden spike that sets it off

-essentially your brain decides "this has been going on a really long time and it doesn't look like we can stop it so I'm just going to shut off and hope it goes away"

-it doesn't last long, just 5-15 minutes at a time, followed by you being awake and in pain for about the same time before your brain goes "whoops, guess it's not over" and shuts off again

-this on again off again bullshit can go on for HOURS, basically as long as you are in that level of pain (i.e. I woke up at 8am and it's now 1pm; I have passed out more than a dozen times)

-the worst part is that you don't notice it happening

-it's incredibly aggravating especially when you dream about being productive/somewhere else/wherever you planned to go before this bullshit wrecked your day while you're out, and then have to wake up to another round of passing out without having accomplished a goddamn thing

-it's also aggravating because you can't control it; you can't see it coming so you can't fight it, your brain just decides it knows better than you and shuts off

-so imagine a whumpee who keeps passing out and dreaming of rescue, or completing their mission, or escaping the whumper, or fighting back (and winning)

-imagine this happening over and over, not just aggravating but horribly traumatic and essentially a kind of torture in itself, their own body and brain betraying them

-passing out from pain is a pain in the ass, feel free to explore every aspect of it

WHY DID I DECIDE TO DO THINGS WITH MY LIFE?!?!?! GOD DAMMIT PAST ME 😭😭😭 why did i decide to do color guard and winter guard.. ;-;

As someone who went through and is still going through a breakup that happened not even a full 24 hours ago. Take the signs, the hints, that they don’t love you anymore like they used to. Even if it hurts like a bitch, because there is someone out there for you, who will text you throughout your day, and get your flowers just because. And would walk to the ends of the earth and through hellfire for you. You are worth all of it. Don’t ever let anyone tell you you’re not.

*posts this and runs*

Harry Styles: Stoic - Foreword (on Wattpad) http://my.w.tt/UiNb/zcCrBuLaFG People fear death even more than pain. It's strange that they fear death. Life hurts a lot more than death. At the point of death, the pain is over. Yeah, I guess it is a friend... -Jim Morrison "WHY WON'T YOU LET ME LOVE YOU?!" Harry screams, tears profusely running down his slightly indented cheeks, falling and gathering into small pools in the small indents of his clavicles and moistening the ends of his long brown hair. "Why won't you let me touch you.... caress you? Why?" he says his husky voice now barely audible and cracking from crying. I remain silent and stoic which by the way I've gotten pretty good at over the years. I never, I mean never ever express emotion because it shows weakness and vulnerability and only the strong survives in this cruel, corrupt, condemned, and so-called world I live in. My facade was particularly built on that." Ebony please.. Talk to me... say something...PLEASE!" Harry cries and pleads desperately. I continue to stare impassively at the door behind him not daring to make eye contact. Right now the idea of making a run for it all the way home and then locking myself in a room from feeling the guilt that I deserved, with just me and my very much appreciated friend, my blade, seems very appeasing to me. Subconsciously, I slip both hands in my pockets just to make sure it was still safely stored in my hoodie's pocket. Running the rough pad of my index fingertip along the edge of the blade, I release a soft and inaudible sigh of content as I feel it slightly slice through the calloused layer of skin. The pain feels so good. Pain is what has kept me alive all of these years. Pain makes me feel... real....

Harry Styles: Stoic - Foreword (on Wattpad) http://my.w.tt/UiNb/hGFwlOSaFG People fear death even more than pain. It's strange that they fear death. Life hurts a lot more than death. At the point of death, the pain is over. Yeah, I guess it is a friend... -Jim Morrison "WHY WON'T YOU LET ME LOVE YOU?!" Harry screams, tears profusely running down his slightly indented cheeks, falling and gathering into small pools in the small indents of his clavicles and moistening the ends of his long brown hair. "Why won't you let me touch you.... caress you? Why?" he says his husky voice now barely audible and cracking from crying. I remain silent and stoic which by the way I've gotten pretty good at over the years. I never, I mean never ever express emotion because it shows weakness and vulnerability and only the strong survives in this cruel, corrupt, condemned, and so-called world I live in. My facade was particularly built on that." Ebony please.. Talk to me... say something...PLEASE!" Harry cries and pleads desperately. I continue to stare impassively at the door behind him not daring to make eye contact. Right now the idea of making a run for it all the way home and then locking myself in a room from feeling the guilt that I deserved, with just me and my very much appreciated friend, my blade, seems very appeasing to me. Subconsciously, I slip both hands in my pockets just to make sure it was still safely stored in my hoodie's pocket. Running the rough pad of my index fingertip along the edge of the blade, I release a soft and inaudible sigh of content as I feel it slightly slice through the calloused layer of skin. The pain feels so good. Pain is what has kept me alive all of these years. Pain makes me feel... real....

Rip to everyone else In the rest stop bathroom. I'm lactose intolerant and decided to test God, I'm fighting a war. Forgive me

When you have an OC you love dearly and one day you come across another person's OC posted before yours who coincidentally looks/acts exactly like your OC

Blackout

One shot

One hit

Alcohol burning my throat

Marijuana filling my lungs

My problems are fading away

Marijuana smoke fills the air

The buzz in my head grows stronger

My body and mind slowly loosen up

Two more shots

One more hit

My head is now spinning

All worries and cares

Are thrown to the wind

Drunk dialing

And

Drunken words are being spilled

Two more shots

Two more hits

Everything goes black

I don’t know what I’m doing

I feel so numb

Slipping in and out of reality

I feel no more pain

I feel empty

I am a hollow shell

Why must you hurt me thus?

Now, if you'll excuse me, i have to go cry in the corner.

have you seen the commentary from the p5r artbook going around? the shuake part of my dash is losing it a bit at the implication that their wishes were mutual!!! that seems to be what some people are getting from the commentary at least… amy insights?

Hi! I have been through the artbook. It's great, isn't it? :D

The image above is called "One Ending", and the creator caption (by illustrator Akane Kabayashi) reads:

When I think about how Akechi's wish was to play chess after school with the protagonist, I almost want to call him out with "You liked him after all, didn't you!"

Look at that. We're told about Akechi's wish, and what it included. We're as good as told outright that he likes Joker—and this isn't the only time, there's also this:

—There are a whole lot of things we can imagine, based on how the protagonist was depicted as someone special to Akechi. Those are more or less the exact emotions represented during Akechi's confidant. (Mumon Usuda, chief designer)

"someone special" here is 特別な存在 tokubetsuna sonzai—literally "a special presence". It means a special person, and more than that; it describes someone you find compelling, someone you can't look away from, someone who becomes one of your most important people, the centre of your world. It's another term that is often romantic, but isn't necessarily romantic.

(In the same way, I think Kabayashi's suki jan! is more tongue-in-cheek than it is a cast-iron confirmation that Akechi was canonly in love with Joker. The language there is teasing, it's ambiguous, it's baity; Kabayashi is joking. This is a rank 6—as they say, if you know, you know. But it is of course ultimately up to all of you.)

There's another mention of this image, down in the creator interview:

Out of all the Maruki ending illustrations, it was Akechi's that stuck with me the most. It made such an impression to see them opening up as friends, having a fun, peaceful time together like high school students should. (Mumon Usuda, chief designer)

What really strikes me in all of this is the emphasis the creators put on the fact that this is Akechi's illustration, Akechi's wish. Because I've thought for a while that we know Akechi has a wish. You can see him struggling with his refusals to Maruki in the first week of January. And you can hear his wish spoken—when Maruki repeats it back to him, during the boss fight, on 2/3:

Maruki {F1 81}君たちとなら、君も過ちのない道を歩めるかも知れないじゃないか！ {F1 81}-kun-tachi to nara, kimi mo ayamachi no nai michi o ayumeru kamoshirenai ja nai ka! If you're with {F1 81}―kun and his friends, you could begin to atone for what you've done! Think about it! With [Amamiya]-kun and his friends beside you, you could choose a path with no mistakes as well!

So this wish has several parts. First, there's that kimi mo, "you also"; it's tempting to read this as Maruki also wanting his new world to erase his past mistakes. Second, there's the first part, "if you're with [Amamiya]-kun and his friends". Where to even start here?

Being with Joker and the others is a prerequisite for the second half of Akechi's wish. It doesn't just coexist, it enables the rest of it. Just like his words in the engine room, "I wonder why we couldn't have met a few years earlier, [Ren]..."

Remember, Akechi's whole arc is about his rejection of trust and friendship, and his insistence on doing everything himself. This is precisely what Futaba calls him out on—"you trusted no one", or "you played life in single-player mode". This is what he unlearns at the climax of the engine room, when he realises he isn't prepared to let the others die—and follows through to save them.

Akechi is nothing without others, and he knows it. Without their support, which he believes he has no right to, he has no hope of living a better life, even were he to be given the chance—and he knows that, too. He has learned, and he has grown—and yet he knows the things he needs and wants so badly are forever inaccessible.

And his wish is about all the Phantom Thieves, not just Joker. There are many tiny references to this end—not least the original Japanese rank 10 line for his confidant, where he sacrifices himself for all of you. Joker is his compelling presence, his someone special, but he's formed small bonds with the others too, God help him.

and then there's the crime thing

The localisation frames Akechi's wish in terms of atonement, but that's not what's on offer. You cannot, after all, atone for things you never did. We see Akechi's wish put into practice, in the Maruki ending, where he appears with his friends beside him, wholly innocent and with unstained hands. And we see it in the first week of January, after he has finally met Maruki and spoken to him:

Akechi: Ah, that reminds me—there was one more thing I wanted to tell you. Akechi: About the reality Maruki's put us in... Akechi: It seems that Okumura and Wakaba are both considered alive by all accounts. [Ren: They're not dead anymore? / What do you mean?] Akechi: They aren't mere illusions, or cognitive beings—they truly are alive and existing in this world. Akechi: In fact, their deaths seem to have never taken place at all in this reality. [Ren: What happened to Shido?] Akechi: Shido was the only one arrested on the crime of attempting to overthrow the government... Akechi: It seems the Phantom Thieves were causing a stir in this society as well, but there's no record of your arrest now. Akechi: Basically, in this reality, you and I haven't committed any crimes.

While Akechi still remembers his crimes, they never took place. They have been undone, and only his lingering memory—and Joker's, at this point—speaks to them. He objects to this on countless levels, he summons all the strength he has to refuse it, but don't make the mistake of thinking that means he doesn't want it. This is Akechi's wish in action.

People are often very certain that Akechi's resolve in the third semester is like iron—that he rejects Maruki's offers right away, is never tempted, never wavers. But that can't be true. We know he's afraid to die. We know about the bad end where you don't complete the Palace, where Akechi says nothing and stares at the floor, seemingly blaming himself internally while all the others blame themselves aloud, for being unable to say no to Maruki's temptations. We know how he responds to this assertion of Maruki's—Maruki, who has perfectly summed up what we know all the other PTs wanted, and who (even if Word of God hadn't just confirmed Akechi's wish) we have, honestly, no reason to doubt.

Because Akechi never refutes this wish that Maruki describes. He never says he doesn't want it. He just rejects it—like all the others, who so desperately want what Maruki could give them. Futaba's mother, Haru's father. Akechi's life, and his innocence. And the people who might have been his friends, if he could dare, one day, to ask.

Akechi is tested just like the others, and the price he pays for his defiance is perhaps the highest of all.

and finally

[The Maruki ending illustrations are] of Maruki's world, where everyone's wishes are granted and they seem happy. The scene shows their actualised wishes, which were never granted in the real world. (Mumon Usuda, chief designer)

We shouldn't forget the price Akechi pays for his impossible wish. Sure, the vision of himself being altered like Sumire clearly haunts him, and I'm sure it made the choice easier—but I don't think it made it that easy. Instead of taking the dream Maruki offered him, Akechi chose to face up to what he'd done, and who he'd become; at the very end, in the third semester and in the engine room, he always makes the right choice.

And that choice was taken away from him. Agency over his life and death, his own acts, and who he would even be—Joker and Maruki take it all away from him and make him a puppet, just like Shido.

Maruki's ending isn't pretty.

revision history

Click here for the latest version.

v1.0 (2024/03/29)—first published.

[THEN... CLICK]

Magtober day 8 - tragedy - MAG200

Sorry.

Dudes, I just sprained my ankle twice within like... 2 weeks. Not going well for me rn. Maybe I should get a new ankle.

The dead stay dead

Feathers

Haha! So, you know how I promised some Aizawa fluff? That’s still on its way, so have some pain in the meantime. 

includes: Keigo, Tokoyami, Aizawa

warnings: Angst

length: 670 words

Keigo was never taught how to cope with the death of a hero.

He was always told that murdering a villain was justified and that it strengthened heroes. That's what the Hero Commission has drilled into him since the first day of training. How would he know any better?

An exhausted huff rocked Keigo's body while he climbed to his feet. Stepping over a piece of rubble, he looked across the settling battlefield. Most of the fires had been put out, and the rescue squad had just now begun their search, despite starting incredibly slow.

The hero didn't blame them though. He didn’t have the right to. The League's attack happened out of nowhere, so no one was prepared. Though, they could stand to work a bit faster.

Most of his feathers had been lost in the fight, Dabi's flames being the main cause. Some were crushed while moving injured civilians to safety, and a few were scorched by Endeavor’s overzealous attacks. He never did receive an apology, but he cheered up by telling himself the man would say sorry later on. 

Oh! That reminded him- He owed Tokoyami cold Yaki Soba for suddenly dragging him into a massive fight.

Where was Keigo’s little apprentice anyway?

Hawks ignored how he swayed and faltered as he walked up a large pile of rubble. He refused to acknowledge the stream of blood running from a gash on his hairline and over his left eye as well. 

From across the destroyed lot, Aizawa found it ironic that Hawks was perched like a bird. The teacher wanted nothing but to flop over and take a week-long nap, but there was still work to be done. Nothing Aizawa could see from this spot could explain why Hawks had stopped working, that fact holding his attention and making him curious.

What was left of Hawks’ wings suddenly gave a powerful flap, sending him dive-bombing towards whatever he had found below. Aizawa decided to investigate, starting his long journey through the wreckage.

Keigo pushed through how lightheaded he felt as his feet touched down on probably the only solid piece of concrete around. He crouched down, knees to his chest and wings folded against his back.

“Feathers?” Keigo’s voice had a questionable lift to it as he addressed Tokoyami.

The high school student was laying on his stomach, one arm stretched out like he was reaching for something, the other limp at his hip. Keigo noticed a small streak of blood leaking from his intern’s beak. Other than the fact that the kid wasn’t moving, Hawks didn’t see any issues. Not that he could see well with all the blood in his eyes.

“Feathers, get up you lazy ass-” Keigo cut himself off briefly with a chuckle. “Sorry, kid, I meant lazy bones. Forgot to watch my mouth, as always”

There was no reply, not even a movement from the limp body. 

“Look, kid, I’m sorry for swearing. Just get up already,” Keigo grumbled, the hero’s arms wrapping around his knees as he leaned in a bit.

“Hey…” Hawks swallowed around the lump in his throat. “Hey, Feathers. You’re starting to freak me out a bit,” A nervous chuckle left Hawks. One of the only fully intact feathers he had left started nudging the boy. “C’mon, get up.”

As the feather continued to nudge Tokoyami, Keigo noticed that the red he was seeing didn’t all belong to him. Tokoyami was laying in a pool of his blood.

Keigo’s eyes widened, pupils practically turning into slits as he flipped the unresponsive boy onto his back. 

“Th-That’s not right... Hey, kid, what happened?” His voice trembled more than his body as he stared at the gaping hole in Tokoyami’s side. 

It was one of the most gruesome things Keigo has seen, and that’s saying something considering all he’s been through. Streaks of pearly white ribs contrasting against the sea of varying shades of red, clumps of organs unnaturally curved around the large rock buried into his flesh and bone.

“You can’t be dead- Heroes don’t die. They just can’t,” Keigo wore a frantic smile as he shook what was left of the teenager’s right arm. “You gotta get up, Feathers. We won… W-We kicked their asses, so- so wake up.” 

Keigo’s voice cracked as he spoke, shaking arms holding Tokoyami’s mangled body close to his chest. “C’mon, kid,” A broken laugh weighed Keigo’s chest down more than the boy he was holding. “Scold me for cursing, like you always do. Call me immature and then apologize f-for being disrespectful. You gotta..! You got to do something- anything!”

“Hawks,” Aizawa’s voice cut through his panic, the teacher’s voice sharp but shaky.

Keigo didn’t realize how loud he was getting before broken eyes looked up at Aizawa. Hell, Hawks didn’t even realize he was sobbing until he was torn from his trance. 

“Eraser,” Hawks pleaded, shuffling on his knees to be closer to the other, the kid being dragged along. “He’s not dead, right? This is all just another test from the Commission, r-right? Yeah,” A broken laugh tumbled from Keigo’s lips as Aizawa fell to his knees. “Just another test for me to pass. Like- Like always.”

Keigo buried his face into Tokoyami’s hardly intact chest, shaking like a leaf in a wind storm. “You can stop now,” He begged, too caught up in his head to notice how Aizawa gripped his black hair so tight it threatened to rip out of his skull. “You can stop the test, kid.”

 The teacher had lost a student- one of his students. The kid wasn’t even 18 yet. He hasn’t lived- and he would never get the chance to. A scream ripped through Aizawa’s throat, emotional agony swallowing him up until it felt like he couldn’t breathe.

“Please… Make it stop, Feathers.”

I'm in tears

Reading Tokyo revengers manga is destroying my soul, like, I keep telling myself there's a happy ending but the story is so sad I can't with all these deaths 😭

BaconBits Illustrations 

Art Classes Private/Commercial Illustration 

Are you hoping to develop a new art style? Just starting on your artistic journey? Looking for helpful tips or tricks? Then you’ve come to the right place! I offer art classes, which consist of traditional drawing (pen and ink) or digital drawing. If you want to get to know Adobe Photoshop or Illustrator better (or perhaps Autodesk, Sketchbook, or Procreate) I offer classes for that too. Art classes are $10 an hour, we can work one on one or pull a group together. I also do illustration work. If you would like a commission or work of art, please message me and we will work out the details. Prices vary depending on complexity. Feel free to message me for more information! If you’d like to see more of my work, check out www.itsbaconbits.tumblr.com

So, I did a thing. *shrugs* Call it a fever dream or whatever BUT ITS TIME FOR VENGEANCE AGAINST ALL THE FANARTISTS WHO MAKE ME FEEL THINGS.

I have returned the favor. I hope y’all cry, or I didn’t do it right. 😈🙌🏼🔥

@funneylizzie I’m starting with you.

PS it’s written low key in stage directions because I may or may not comic it. Maybe. 😅😎👉🏼👉🏼

Based off of ROTTMNT Future Apocalypse: Enjoy

A Little Ninja’s Mission

Casey, the residential and most well loved 5 year old of the entire resistance base, wakes up in the middle of the night, hearing noises down the hall.

Being the ever brave little ninja that he is, Casey sneaks into the next room with his little hockey stick, trying to see who or what exactly has broken into their little underground sanctuary.

He’s surprised to see Adult Leo running through a series of exercises, progressively getting faster and more intense as the night continues.

Casey observes silently from the shadows, watching as Leo engages in battle over an invisible enemy, over and over again. With each swing of his katanas, the pure unfiltered rage burns in Leo’s eyes, causing little Casey to step back in fear at seeing his beloved sensei so unhinged.

When suddenly Leo stops and stands shakily on his feet, sweat dripping down his forehead, staring at something unseen before him. His katanas lower and the sound of haggard breathing can be heard.

Casey looks up in concern as his sensei suddenly drops to his knees, and the sound of wrenched weeping can be heard. Adult Leo drops his katanas with a clatter and curls into himself, the heels of his hands pressing into his eyes, as tears drip mournfully down his cheeks.

“I’m sorry…I’m s-so sorry…too late…always too late.”

Unsure on what to do when seeing his generally composed and confident sensei so shattered, Casey retreats back to his room, and stays awake for the rest of the night, unable to get the haunted look of Leo’s broken face out of his little head.

The next couple days, Casey doesn’t necessarily avoid Leo, but he does keep a watchful distance. He doesn’t talk with Leo when Leo tries to engage him with his teasing, but rather he pulls away to hide behind his mother, still observing Leo with a troubled little pout.

Leo notices, he has to. The safety of his little band of friends and family depends on his ability to quickly read and react to situations. However in his forever mental turmoil, Leo sadly believes that he deserves Casey’s shunning. He deserves all the pain. It’s his punishment for his failures, so he gives Casey his space and retreats further into himself.

His mother, observing Casey’s abnormal behavior, pulls him to the side one day and bluntly asks, lightly rapping Casey’s forehead.

“Ok, Squirt. What’s cooking in that noggin of yours? You've been avoiding Master Leonardo all week. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.”

Cassandra widens her eyes dramatically, and wiggles her fingers spookily.

“These momma eyes see everything.”

Casey looks at the floor, and remains silent. The slightly insolent behavior causes Cassandra to frown, her brows creasing in concern.

“Casey Jones. Look at me.” Cassandra says sternly. Casey only slightly shakes his head, a mirroring frown scrunching his tiny face.

Commander April O’Neil, who has been observing this interaction silently from the corner, pulls away from the wall and walks toward the Casey’s.

She smiles at Cassandra as if to say “I got this” and kneels down in front of tiny Casey, reaching out to ruffle his mess of black hair.

“Come on, Kiddo. Spill the beans.”

Little Casey’s hands tighten into fists, his shoulders start to tremble, but still he won’t look at April or his mom in the eyes. April rests a hand on his shoulder and prods gently.

“Casey…what’s wrong?”

A small sniffing can be heard, and Casey suddenly looks up, pleading in his eyes as he stares at Commander O’Neil and his Mom.

“Why is Master Leonardo so sad, Momma? Why does he cry by himself at night?”

April pulls her hand away in surprise and looks at Cassandra in shock. They both stare at each other for a moment, registering what that means, before Cassandra’s eyes lower and quietly says,

“So he’s doing it again...”

April pulls back slightly to massage the bridge of her nose with frustrated growl.

“I shouldn’t be surprised. He’s been so recluse these past couple of weeks. He’s acting almost like D-“ April stops herself and mournfully clears her throat before continuing, “His insomnia hasn’t been this bad since…since the accidents.”

She says with a small sigh. Little Casey looks up tearfully between April and his mom, confused at their reactions and reaches out to plaintively pull on Cassandra’s hand.

“Why is Master Leo sad, Momma? What’s wrong?!”

Cassandra looks at April, who smiles solemnly, and let’s out a sigh herself. She lowers herself to the ground and opens her arms to Casey. He immediately runs into them and wraps his arms around her middle, sniffing. Cassandra cradles Casey, pulling him close to her chest.

She’s silent for a minute, rocking her baby slowly before taking a deep breath and saying softly,

“Hey Squirt, you remember Slash? Your one favorite stuffed tortoise that you'd carry around with you everywhere? “

Little Casey stills at the name and shakes his head yes. Cassandra pulls back a little bit and lowers her forehead to his, making eye contact with him.

“Do you remember how sad you were when we lost him during our last evacuation? You cried for a lot of nights after that because you missed him. You loved him so much that it didn’t feel like home without him right?”

Cassandra doesn’t wait for Casey’s response before pulling back so she could rest her head on top of his, stroking his hair absently as she looks somewhere far into the distance.

“Master Leonardo is very sad right now because he lost some people very close to him. They were kinda like his Slashs.”

Casey is quiet for a minute, his little hands tightly grasping the cloak at his mother’s back. He turns upward slightly while listening to his mom before whispering quietly,

“His brothers?”

Cassandra’s hand freezes right above Casey’s head and she glances at Commander O’Neil who sits next to them, with the sheen of tears in the corner of her eyes.

Cassandra lets out a heavy sigh, her shoulders slumping, and she tightens her hold on Casey ever so slightly.

“Yes, some of Master Leonardo’s brothers. They’re not coming back, and he cries because he misses them. He misses them a lot, and he doesn’t feel at home without them.”

Little Casey chews on his mom’s words for a second before suddenly pulling back to look excitedly at his Mom.

“It’s sad that Master Leo doesn’t have all his brothers anymore, but … he has us doesn’t he? He doesn’t have to be without a home; w-we could be his family!

Tears well up in Cassandra’s eyes at the innocence in her son’s eyes, and she glances over at April who leaned forward to rustle Casey’s hair again. She grins, tears slowly rolling down her cheeks.

“You’re right, Kiddo. He does have us.”

Cassandra sniffs, refusing to show such uncontrolled emotion in front of her child, and leans forward to smirk at Casey.

“What do you say, Squirt? Do you think you could be our little ninja and help remind Master Leonardo that he isn’t alone?”

Casey looks up at his mom with an emphatic determined nod.

“You can count on me.”

Casey, determined to fulfill his ninja mission, prepares all the rest of the day. When night time finally approaches, Casey is shaking with anticipation. He was going to remind Master Leo tonight if it was the last thing he did!

He arms himself with the biggest blanket and the biggest stuffed animal that he had claimed after searching through the random boxes they had stored at the base.

The blanket was once a dark, rich, violet color but had now turned grey with all the dust and grime from constant travel. However if one looked hard enough, they could see the slight greyed-white markings of what looked to be scientifically formulas spread all across the blanket.

The stuffed animal was a faded pink teddy bear that had obviously seen better days. One of its button eyes was missing, and it had a shredded right arm that was barely holding on. There was a little tag on it’s rump with the letters R H smeared in red marker. It was almost as big as Casey was, and he had to struggle to pull it and the enormous blanket into the next room where he sat in wait for Master Leonardo to come.

It didn’t take long. Within the next couple minutes, Leo walks into the room, his steps heavy and slow. He leans against the wall, his chest rising and falling with shaky breaths. He has his eyes closed in a grimace, slowly hitting his head against the wall before schooling his face and reaching up to pull his two Katanas out of their sheathes on his back.

“Master Leo?”

Leo freezes at the sound of Casey’s little voice and whirls around brandishing his two Katanas in surprise.

“C-Casey? What are you doing here in the middle of the night?! Is everything alright?!”

Leo’s words slur together as his eyes frantically search for danger in the room, his katanas weaving to and fro with each jilted movement.

Casey flinches back at having Leo’s frenzied actions pointed at him. His feet stumble back, as he trips over the massive blanket that was pooled on the floor. He lands on his bum and looks up at Leo with wide eyes.

Leo pulls back sharply with an ache in his heart as he sees the slight fear in Casey’s eyes. He lets out a disheartened sigh and sheathes his katanas. Leo drops to one knee with a little side smile, and holds out his one normal hand in what he hopes is a nonthreatening manner.

“Hey there, Bud. What are you doing up so late? Did you have a bad dream?”

Casey just stares at Leo for a minute before remembering his purpose and quickly shakes his head. He scrambles to his feet and folds his arms with a stubborn frown, trying to look serious. Which honestly backfired because it makes his bottom lip stick out making him look unfairly adorable.

“Nuh uh. I’m here on a mission.”

Leo blinks in surprise, titling his head with a confused smile on his face.

“A…mission?”

Casey nods emphatically, and reaches down to pull the giant teddy bear and blanket into his arms. He staggers forward, straining with all his little might to try and reach Leo.

Leo watches with an amused smirk at Casey’s attempt to carry the heavy load for only a moment before deciding to take pity on him. He reaches forward to pluck the blanket and teddy bear from Casey’s arms and sits down with his back against the wall to place them in his lap.

Casey isn’t too far behind them. He immediately crawls onto Leo’s lap and flops heavily against him as only small dramatic children can do. The toll of staying up and dragging his weight causing Casey to get sleepy.

Leo chuckles and wraps one arm around Casey, lifting the stuffed animal to shake it him.

“And what little mission is that, Bud? To bring me this-“

Leo freezes as he gets a real good look at the stuffed animal, his eyes widening as he glances at the shredded arm, the one button eye and the all too familiar scrawl on tag. He recognizes this bear. Leo’s breath hitches. This…this was Raph’s teddy bear!

Leo stares at the teddy bear, not sure if he was seeing things clearly and then slowly back at Casey who watches him with concerned eyes.

“Casey…where did you get this?” Leo asks with a strangled voice.

Casey’s brows pull in worry at Leo’s pained voice. He starts hiccuping and leans forward to wrap his arms tightly around Leo’s middle.

“I don’t want you to be sad, Master Leo. I thought a stuffed animal would help you feel less lonely. I know my stuffies do. ”

Leo looks down at Casey in shock, trying to figure out if Casey knows what this teddy bear means. Who’s teddy bear this is, but his focus was elsewhere as Casey’s little body trembles slightly as he hugs Leo, tears slowly running down his face and onto Leo’s war dirty plastaron.

“You’re not alone, Master Leo. You never have been.”

Leo bites his lip at the words, and feels the all too familiar pain within his heart roar to life. He closes his eyes against the ache in his eyes that always precedes the tears.

Leo reaches down to pull the giant blanket around himself and little Casey’s shoulders to help ground himself. He stops only for a moment, glancing at the dusty violet fabric in his hand when he recognizes the markings on the blanket.

Donnie.

Leo has to bite back a broken laugh. Even with his brothers gone, they once again left physical reminders of their presence, reminding him that they were never really gone.

He curls protectively around Casey, hugging him closely to himself as he haggardly whispers the words,

“You’re right, Bud. Anatawa hitorijanai. I-…I’m not alone. We’re never alone. ”

They stay that way together for the rest of the night. Casey slowly relaxing as he falls asleep in the safety of the arms of his sensei, his lazy measured little breaths matching Leo’s slow drumming heartbeat.

And for the first time in a long time, Leo sleeps soundly through the whole night. His little guardian angel, his twin’s blanket and his big brother’s teddy bear, all tightly, tenderly wrapped up by his side.

Hope, as fragile and yet steadfast as she was, had been reignited.

Looks like the little ninja fulfilled his mission after all.

Writers if you want to make your readers hurt make it so the villain is in a relationship but their partner leaves them with the reason of “you’ve strayed so far into the dark and now I can’t even see you anymore”

Bonus: the partner holds the villains face with one hand as they look each other in the eyes tears streaming down their face

Bonus 2: after the partner leaves the villain collapses to the ground and whispers “you were my last light”

@greenpuffpowerpuff Pain is funny sometimes 😂😂😂😂😂😂