Now I Remember Why I Stopped Using Instagram

Now I Remember Why I Stopped Using Instagram

2 years ago, I decided to delete my Instagram and focus more on living my life and not living vicariously through people I don’t know. It was perfect timing since a month after deleting my account, my grandpa passed away and I took the time to really do some self-reflection and go to therapy. However, a few days ago I re-installed Instagram to catch up with some old friends. As soon as I started watching the little videos, going into the comments made me so disgusted. I was disheartened at the bullying and insults towards people who are just being themselves and living their lives. 1 woman was informing people on how large cows can be (she owns a farm and had cows). She said that she’s not small and that she’s an average size person in terms of height. But people thought it would be funny to disagree and make fun of her for her weight. Her video was completely wholesome. Other videos had comments about a woman looking like a man, etc. I’ll continue to respond to friends but will refrain from scrolling endlessly and reading comments. It’s disappointing how natural being disrespectful online is nowadays. 

sending love and warmth to everyone feeling uncomfortable, upset, fatigued, lonely, ignored, hurt or lost today. whatever it is, it has no choice but to pass. in the meantime, it’s okay to not be the strong one for once.

Thankful for my mom

I am thankful to have a mom that is understanding and listens to how I feel about life, the good and bad that are running through my mind. She is a social worker, so she deals with individuals who are suffering from mental illness. We had a conversation about death and suicide. She asked if I had a plan...I said “no, but death seems a lot more peaceful than living another day.” She said to let her know when I do have a plan or feel overwhelmed. Sometimes I don’t want to talk cause I don’t want to overwhelm her, but she says she doesn’t mind and isn’t stressed out from listening to me. She’s another reason on my list why I’m still here. The first 2 are God (I still have some hope in my soul), and my grandpa (he took his last breath, but that doesn’t mean I should draw mine as a means of escape).

“Let me tell you about myself, 

I’m not scared to die.

Been through so much sh*t

sometimes I wanna be in the sky.”

-Augusta Alsina (F.M.L)

Not everyone deserves to know the real you. Let them criticize who they think you are.

Unknown (via thoughtkick)