Sad - Tumblr Posts

im so sad, one of my mutuals have deactivated their accounts 🙁☹️😖😭

im bawling my eyes out 🥹

(also this blogs officially a year old!)

NOOO DO U KNOW WHY @/bwere DEACTIVATED?!?!😭

IM SO SAD I DONT KNOW WHY 😭, I THINK THE BACKUP ACCOUNTS GONE TOO, IM SO SAD 😭😭😭😭

SCREAMING

CRYING

THROWING UP

Me @ my paras.

i wish you were with me right now i want a 2 hour long hug

I mean I am Happy for Consti getting the quota for the German Team but my heart is also brocken for Eisei. He deserved it so much💔💔hope he still will come back it to competion💖💔

I Was There

I was there for you.

I listened to all your problems.

If you needed me

I was there for you.

If you struggled

I was there for you.

If you had a breakdown

I was there for you.

If you needed a shoulder to cry on

I was there for you.

If you needed encouragement

I was there for you.

If you needed to vent

I was there for you.

If you wanted to gush about your day

I was there for you.

But when I needed you

You weren’t there.

I felt like the whole world was crushing me.

You weren’t there.

I felt a heavy weight on my soul.

You weren’t there.

I cried on the floor for hours.

You weren’t there.

I was so close to giving up.

You weren’t there.

I felt so alone.

You weren’t there.

I called you.

You weren’t there.

I needed you.

You weren’t there

You weren’t there,

Because you didn’t care.

Drift

Drifting

That’s what we are doing.

Drifting apart.

It hurts me knowing that.

Our long conversations

Are slowly getting shorter and shorter.

Now they’re one-word responses.

Or no response at all.

I never thought this would happen.

I held on.

I thought you said there was hope for us.

But now you’re letting go.

My heart hurts

Knowing that you’re moving on.

That I must not cross your mind like it used to.

My mind is racing.

Was it something?

Was it something I did?

Is it my fault?

Why did we have to drift apart?

I think I-

I think I-

No,

I can’t say how I feel.

It will hurt more if I do.

My heart races every time I think of you.

My face lights up whenever I see you.

Tangled up in the sheets.

I feel content.

Your arms wrapped around me

I feel safe.

I think I-

You make me feel light.

As if I don’t have any worry or fear.

Like I was never hurt in the past.

Like I had never had my heart broken.

“I really, really like you.”

You said.

“I really, really like you too.”

I said

And I meant it.

Except, I didn’t realize

I think I-

How much I was going to like you.

Now we’ve drifted apart.

I’m left alone with my feelings.

I wish I could tell you how I feel

I think I-

I’m afraid to say the words.

Afraid of what will happen if I do.

I think I-

But I feel so suffocated holding it in.

I think I-

I must hide how I feel.

I think I-

It’s getting harder to hold it in.

I don’t want to slip up and say it.

I think I-

I can’t.

If I admit it

Then it will hurt more.

Won’t it?

I think I-

I think-

I-

I think I’ve been falling in love with you.

Take me to a place where my heart doesn’t hurt so much.

(via melindacarolinee)

Unstable Emotions

I either feel nothing

Or everything

There is no in-between

I feel everything so deeply

Yet I feel empty

I try to fill the void

Alcohol

Sex

Smoking

I feel good momentarily

But then it fades away

And I’m back to where I was before

I get irritated and angry over the smallest things

I lash out

When I fall in love,

It is intense and fierce

Yet it’s as stable as a chair missing a leg

I’m terrified of losing people

I’m afraid they’ll abandon me

I cling onto them in fear

I’m so insecure

About everyone and everything

I don’t know why

I don’t know what’s wrong with me

Why am I like this?

Blackout

One shot

One hit

Alcohol burning my throat

Marijuana filling my lungs

My problems are fading away

Marijuana smoke fills the air

The buzz in my head grows stronger

My body and mind slowly loosen up

Two more shots

One more hit

My head is now spinning

All worries and cares

Are thrown to the wind

Drunk dialing

And

Drunken words are being spilled

Two more shots

Two more hits

Everything goes black

I don’t know what I’m doing

I feel so numb

Slipping in and out of reality

I feel no more pain

I feel empty

I am a hollow shell

Επιθυμία

          I’m bound to your touch…the first time that you kissed me.               Eternal days of our time, I build up a castle to secure the lost.                     Music notes played around the room.                                                             What sweet sounds, bounding me to sway to the tune.                                           I feel my feet go above the ground.                                                                   The wings of Daedalus carries me up the sky.                                                     Will the mysteries ever cease or will it stay as of eternity?                                   The mysteries of Agape and Eros.                                                                           For I no longer believe.                                                                               Building up walls of uncertainty.                                                               Drowning in whispers deep beneath the depths of water.                                    Curse to whom I’ve become.                                                                                  Farewell to the ones that have gone.                                                                 The endless tears have dried away.                                                                        Thanks to my lover.                                                                                                 I longed for one to stay forever.                                                                             Years of yearning, prone to its misery.                                                                 The words you say reminds me…                                                                   You’re my own Achilles heel.                                                                                   I’m bound to your touch…the way you kissed me.                                                 Soon the time will come when the tide has gone down.                                         Hold me along your side ‘till I breathe my last breath.                                             I’m bound to you, for the last time that you  kissed me.

by: Elai Azores

this was inspired by the song “Mystery of Love” by Sufjan Stevens

dominic thiem retires this month

Forgotten Fish. {Alberto x reader}

(summary: Alberto gets so caught up with Luca he forgets about something more. So reader greaves about it alone.)

|Aged up! Alberto x reader /\maybe 16-17?/\|

[Warning: Sad reader, suggestions about mating, that's it! ]

{Can't wait to post this one, I feel kind a lonely right now. But also feel like writing something too.}

If you like my writing: Request

Masterlist

Walking on the docks you waited for Alberto. Waited and waited. He still hasn’t shown. You had not seen him in basically two weeks. Sighing you started scrolling through social media on your phone. You remembered his last visit. He kept talking about this “Luca” kid. Talking about how they built a vespa together, and rode it down a hill together. Oh how you wished you lived in potorosso.  You live by potorosso, maybe about 1-2 hours away if you ride a car. Alberto said it was like an 8 minute swim just from his island to where you live. As you thought about it more you realize it was about 12 am already. 

Sighing you also remembered that your mother didn’t want you out after 12 am. Getting up and walking slowly to your house, you were sad. Sad that Alberto basically forgot about you, and sad that you haven’t seen him in 2 weeks. Opening the front door you walk in and go to your room. 

Setting your phone on your nightstand you turn off your lamp that you had on for about 2 hours of watching “The thirteenth year.” A mermaid movie. You remembered how Alberto would talk about his life before his dad left him. Saying stuff like, “My dad was the best at swimming!” or “He would always give me fish for dinner. I'm used to it now.” That's probably why he loves pasta so much. Something knew, something to learn about than a boring fish. You felt like that fish. You're the fish that was left alone, to die alone. Luca was the pasta, something new to try, to see what it was. See how it tastes.

Shaking off the thought you turn on your tiny tv. The channel you were on was talking about fish. How fish mate for life, and are so tired of spawning they die. You remember how Alberto was talking about how sea monsters would mate for life as well, but don’t die after “The thing.” 

When you first met Alberto, he was looking for fish for dinner and realized he went too far from his waters and was a long way home. So you helped him for a price. To come and see what kind of fish he is. When you found out he was a sea monster your eyes turned into stars instantly. But talking about how sea monsters did it was very embarrassing. Well for you, but not Alberto. He put every detail into how sea monsters mated. After that night something sparked in both of you, friendship maybe, or something more. But that spark probably blew away after this night.

Until you saw through what was blocking you. It was a crush. You had a crush on Alberto. You had a crush on Alberto Scorfano. You missed him so much. But yet, he left you for Luca. He left because of something. Like everyone they want something new, so why isn’t it any different?

Thank for reading! :)

Part 2

I read some of your stories for Albirto scorfeno umm can we have them waking up in the morning after sex with their s/o

Wanna request something? Request

omg yay!!!!!!!!!

Ok, he's happy.

He woke up with his special someone in bed, the sun shining through the thin white curtains. Plus, they both had a great night together, (If you know what i mean 😏)

Alberto was probably the first to wake up and open his eyes to see his love, his Amore.

He would probably have his arms wrapped around you protectively, and his face snuggled in the dip of your neck, legs tangled together.

He will want to be like this forever.

But, if Alberto hadn't moved out of Massimo's place yet then you both are screwed because Giulia or Massimo with open the door to ask what you want for breakfast and see you both sleeping together and basically ruin the moment.

But, if he moved out and got a place close to the shore. Consider both of you stuck like this for a while. You will probably get up first and make some breakfast because, Alberto will keep you both in bed all day saying sweet things in your ear just so you could stay in bed with him.

He would like to get up to his s/o making breakfast in the morning all cute, but as he would say it as: il mio piccolo amore sexy grazie per aver preparato la colazione per entrambi. (my sexy little love thank you for making breakfast for us both.)

He's happy!!!!!

Thank you for reading :)

Sometimes I get sad over not being able to have a phone background for my oc kin. I don’t have a lot of photos of them cause they’re my oc. I don’t draw them 24/7. I don’t have anything to give someone except for a few drawings and some Gacha Life 2 pics.

😔 I just want a background for them, and I don’t and I’m sad. These are like my only gear I have as everything else has to be costumed order. My kins are just so different, and I only have my backgrounds for now (I’m also broke).

I could give the images I have and just ask them to give the theme off of the few I have, but I feel bad about not having more. Man does being an oc kin suck at these times.

"She's going to sit alone. Right at that same table where she built it all. Her happiness, her courage, her perseverance, but most importantly, where she met all of her friends. Now it's all crumbling down to her fingertips. She closes her eyes and tries to dream herself away into a reality where all of that still exsists, but she can't. It's all blank without the real thing... Without the real them. Complete nothingness. She can't even remember their voices. Everything is fading away from her. And everytime, she blames herself for something that she couldn't control. They've all left now; her friends. The girl lifts her head and stares at them. They're all happy. They all prance around, discussing random topics she used to talk about with them all of the time. She even sees her crush holding hands with her best friend. They don't even notice her. All of them go sit at their new table, completely forgetting about what once was. She weakly smiled as tears fell down her cheeks. Her heart ached for them. For someone. But she had no one. She put her head back down and waited for an escape. She pulled her sketchbook and poetry journal closer to her. They may only be objects, but they are all she has now. She pours her heart out crying. She couldn't hold it in any longer. Her fears were reality, and she somehow had to stay strong in this. But how could she stay strong when she wasn't going to be remembered by any of them? Was it all pointless to make memories in the first place? She just wanted to disappear. She then heard whispers all around her. It sounded like her friends, but that couldn't be. She lifted her head up and rubbed her eyes. A boy with a pretend smile and a sympathetic gaze pulled me into a hug.

"You're going to be okay, we're all going to be okay. I promise."

She cried into his chest until they all gathered around her and tackled her into a group hug.

Her friends.

They were here.

"I'm sorry for the mess I've created," She shyly whispered, "haven't you forgotten me, yet? I would've."

"How could we forget about you?" A raven haired boy asked, "We've been right here the whole time."

- Dreaming of Wolves//Vent

(I just... Sobbed while writing this.)

"It's a sad truth that I will write about everyone I love, but none of them will even try and put me into a sentence."

- Dreaming of Wolves

A List of Things That Signal I'm Sad or Feeling Something Very Deeply (But I Won't Ever Tell You-):

- I start being very short with you. Instead of thoughtful sentences, you only get (Oh. Oh cool. Ha. Etc.)

- I start having a very pessimistic drop in my tone

- I start changing the convo

- I start changing the topic to you rather than me

- I take longer to reply

- I use hhhhh a lot

**In irl**

- I avoid your eyes

- My posture drops

- I start fidgeting

- I stay silent

- I rest my head and just look like someone who got stabbed

I'm scared to form friendships because I know I'm going to give it my all. I'll be loyal every single time. I'll stay up with them until 3AM if they just need to talk. I'll never abandon them. I'll comfort them and give them letters. I'll do everything. But for me? They'll be interested for a little bit. Then they'll drift away and abandon me. They won't care. They won't even think of me. This is why I don't make friendships; because I'll get hurt all over again and I need to protect myself.

- Dreaming of Wolves//Memoir