Yall Just Thinking About How Excited Stanley Must Have Been To Host The Twins Alex Says He Smokes Cigars

y’all just— thinking about how excited Stanley must have been to host the twins— Alex says he smokes cigars but he doesn’t smoke once in the show— has a beer gut but he only drinks sodas in front of the kids— doesn’t swear when they’re around which must have taken INCREDIBLE effort— Stanley Pines, known crook, buying pancake mix at the supermarket and many bottles of syrup— learning to cook basic healthy meals and burning so many of them before he gets it right— buying new sheets, new mattresses— avoiding bunk beds because it reminds him of Ford— looking at the attic room he made wondering “is this enough will they like me”— trying to act aloof at the bus stop so he doesn’t betray the fact that he was there hours early— watching them goof around and thinking of New Jersey beaches— then the first night they’re there, he watches them debate running away and only stay because Mabel shook a magic 8 ball. That must have kept him awake all night.

I have this idea for a comic strip in my head where the pines twins^2 are building a lego set and Stan and Mabel want to attempt to build it with just the picture on the box first and Dipper and Ford are holding the instructions and getting incredibly stressed out watching them

If anyone who can draw wants to make this feel free :)

Stan x Reader Headcanons protective/wants you safe (SFW)

(tw: mentions weapons)

installed a security latch on the door at your place and put wooden dowels in the window tracks

insisted on teaching you how to shoot a rifle and throw a solid punch

checks your car's fluids regularly so you won't break down (even though you told him that you check them yourself)

Had Ford build you a little tazer to carry on walks/hikes (Dipper asked when he's getting his)

gave you his old brass knuckles from when his hands were smaller ("You don't have to use 'em, just flash 'em if someone bothers you")

taught you how to hide objects in your clothes close your body so that they don't show at all (works great for sneaking snacks into the movies)

taught you all the things you legally do/don't have to say if you get pulled over

Thank you to everyone for blowing up my Stan and Mabel Headcanons post! I never expected to reach 1000 notes on a post, much less within my first week :') I'm probably gonna post a part 2 if I can think of more good ones! I love you all

Stan would be a whore for back scratches from his partner. He's always asking for them. He doesn't even have to say he wants them, he'll just stand close to you with his back turned and you just know what he's asking for. If you don't immediately start scratching he'll look back at you like "You gonna scratch my back or what? It's not gonna scratch itself babe 🙄."

If you stop scratching, he'll say "Hey! Where're ya goin'? Who told ya to stop? Get back here and finish scratchin' me! I can't reach it 🥺!"

He's such an old fart

Ford and Mabel Headcanons

When Ford is out in the woods, he collects wildflowers, pretty rocks, and anything else Mabel might like

Ford had to drive somewhere and was nervous to drive again after 30+ years, so Mabel gave him some lessons in the golfcart. She set up cones and made him parallel park, then gave him a handmade license and a gold star sticker

They love to draw together. Ford helps Mabel with realism and she helps him "draw his feelings"

Mabel makes sure he has all the six-fingered gloves and turtleneck sweaters he could ever want

Mabel sneaks candy and notes into Ford's coat pockets (she got Stan's pickpocketing skills but uses them for good instead)

Ford taught Mabel how to use the grappling hook properly, but then had to save her when she got stuck in a tree (she's still afraid of heights)

When Ford sleeps late into the morning, Mabel saves him breakfast in the fridge so he has a third meal to eat when, inevitably, he's up late that night again

Stan and Mabel edition

Ford and Dipper edition