I Need A Cucumber With Salt And Pepper To Heal My Soul.

I need a cucumber with salt and pepper to heal my soul.

I'm going to start a highly successful indie electro-jazz band called Two Toilets and the news media will be pressing me to reveal the name of my secret collaborator, but i never tell, because the secret is: it's just me. It was only ever me. I am both Toilets.

starting a forbidden Columbo merch collection, feel free to add

You get a lot of weird requests when people find out you can draw semi-decently, but by far my favorite was the time when my grandma saw an antique quilt that she liked and she asked me to help her pirate the pattern.

Yo ho ho. ☠️🏴‍☠️

One thing I learned as the Elder Sibling that I find totally fascinating how how similar newborns and teenagers are. Newborns have acne too. And sometimes terrible dandruff, (though it's called cradle cap for them)

They both need lots of sleep and a mind-boggling amount of of food, sometimes they'll cry just because it's physically exhausting growing up so much so fast. They both need to be held, and watched, and talked to with love, because failure to thrive is a real and dangerous thing.

So many parents check out in the teen years, when it's one of the most delicate growth stages there is. If you happen to be raising a teenager, remember to talk to them, hug them, and stay with them even if you think they don't need you anymore. Even if the growing pains make them distant and fussy, just like they did when they were young. Even if they can't articulate it now, those moments can make all the difference to a growing person and to their mental and physical wellbeing as an adult.

I hear the Fighter's Guild is recruiting again.

Cute house. Why would the real estate agent post this making this 2 bedroom look like the entryway to hell?