Andrey U Got This!!!!!!!!!!!!!

andrey u got this!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me at 2 am before finals with no caffeine in the house: hey google! What can I have instead of caffeine to not fall asleep

thinking about what makes paris/lane/rory/jess as a quartet so satisfying and it’s that common thread between them and their relationships with their parents. they’re all dealing with the same struggle at their core; the fact that they feel unwanted and like they have to make up for their existence.

paris who uses her academic performance as a way to feel validation because she knows she’s difficult and uptight and that it makes her unlikeable. in all likelihood, she probably blames herself for her parents divorcing (most kids do). she can’t make up for it by changing her personality, so she compensates with academic success. for instance, after her debate with rory at chilton, her idea of ‘celebrating’ is by going over their transcript again. because how else is she supposed to spend time with rory without an excuse like studying?

and much like paris, jess gets handed off by his mother to someone who’s practically a stranger. paris probably had her nanny from a young age, especially if she learned to speak portuguese and spanish so fluently. but to jess, luke is his uncle by blood and nothing else. and it’s not like blood ties have guaranteed any care about his welfare in the past. and his perception of love is so tilted where luke pushing him into a lake is considered a fond memory. just to think about what message that sends to him; that i’m angry at you but i still want you around.

and i imagine lane feels the burden of conditional love just like jess does; she will be loved and taken care of as long as she is the perfect daughter, as long as she is christian, as long as she fulfills her mother’s criteria. jess will be sheltered and cared for as long as he graduates high school, and how many more conditions will luke have if he had graduated anyway? and so they both hide parts of themselves away; his need for financial independence and her love of music. lane’s entire identity gets erased because of her mother, and then zach, and then her kids. she’s so busy trying to balance her own identity against the want of her mother that she never commits to either and then loses everything.

and then rory, oh my beloved rory. rory who has spent her entire life to get to harvard. rory who can’t say no to anyone or anything. rory who spends her life trying to make up for the fact that she was a mistake. trying to be the perfect daughter, the perfect granddaughter, the perfect student, the perfect girlfriend. to live a life that cannot be reproached. so scared of changing her mind to go to yale, to go against everyone’s expectations. to be the opposite of contrarian. to never be accorded the responsibility of her actions. to never be seen as anything other than what people want her to be. and through that lens, the person she is gets completely neglected.

and so it’s such a shame we don’t get more scenes of the four of them together, giving each other that unconditional love they crave. paris and rory and lane and jess are all tied by the same thread, of needing to be free of those conditions and expectations.

who's afraid of little old me?

i can do it with a broken heart

florida!!!

but daddy i love him

so long london

happy 1 week of TTPD!!🤍 if you see this reblog with your top 5 songs!

mine are:

imgonnagetyouback

so long, london

guilty as sin?

florida!!!

who’s afraid of little old me?