Lovely-ateez - Ateez Imagines - Tumblr Blog

Alright loves here’s what’s been going on. I’ve (obviously) found myself in a bit of a writing rut when it comes to ateez. I LOVE my boys don’t get me wrong, but I’ve found myself gravitating to other circles recently and so it’s been hard to write about ateez. I’ve put this off for longer than I should have, but I need advice.

Recently, I’ve been falling head over heals for Pedro Pascal and literally everything he’s in (The hyperfixation kicked in HARD). I currently have one Pedro fic and one character fic (Javier Peña) done because I could not help myself. I really want to post them, so I guess my question is should I make a new account solely dedicated to Pedro or should I post them on this account along with ateez fics? Currently, I’m leaning towards making a new account, because admittedly it would be a strange mix, but I’m curious as to what you all think 👀

As far as ateez fics go, I will still be posting, but it will likely be less frequent than when I post about Pedro. I’m hoping that as a byproduct of doing this I’ll be writing more frequently for ateez as well. Big thank you to everyone for your input! Based on the poll results I’ll make a decision tomorrow and make a post about it! 💕💕

I want to make a post as a form of assurance for everyone reading this, and for myself. As you all know at this point, my boyfriend and I broke up almost two months ago. I’m not gonna lie, it still hurts. Sometimes it hurts just as much as the day he broke up with me. Heartbreak is painful. It isn’t easy and there are days where you feel like it’s hard to do anything, even the things you’re passionate about. It’s hard to move on when someone you thought you could’ve loved or did love is doing okay. It’s even worse when you see them smile and act as if nothing ever happened. It is going to hurt. But you’re stronger than this. I am stronger than this. It’s okay to take time for yourself to just feel it. To give yourself time to heal. You will grow from this, and you will make it out. It doesn’t feel like it right now, god it doesn’t feel like it right now, but we’ll make it out together. We will be okay.

God I love tumblr staff

for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits

I Hate That For You~

ꕥPosted: 3/30/22

ꕥGenre: Enemies to lovers, Angst, Fluff, Smut

ꕥPairing: Fem!Reader x Roomate!Wooyoung

ꕥWord count: 2.8k

ꕥWarnings: Pwp, Wooyoung is an asshole, reader is really going through it, yelling (from reader to Wooyoung and from Wooyoung to reader) language, unprotected sex, oral (f!receiving), it’s sweet at the end tho-

ꕥTaglist: @cappujinho​ @bobateastay​ @nevieatiny​ @onceonafullmoon 

ꕥA/N: Reminder that this is a work of fiction. Please be kind to your roommates!

“WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU PUT OUR COOKING PANS?” You yelled from the kitchen floor, rummaging through the cabinets.

You heard a disembodied voice ring out from your shared bedroom, matching your anger, “I LITERALLY DON’T EVER USE THEM! YOU HAD THEM LAST!”

“YEAH I KNOW YOU DON’T USE THEM THAT’S WHY OUR ROOM IS FUCKING LITTERED WITH TAKEOUT TRASH!”

You hated your roommate. He was loud and obnoxious and overwhelmingly rude. If you had the money, you would’ve moved out of the apartment ages ago. You had never been a particularly aggressive person before you met him, but every snide comment from him made you want to punch him. Alas, as a college student all of your money went towards tuition and food, and you were unfortunately stuck with him.

“I don’t know why you hate him.” Your friend San asked one night, “Have you seen Wooyoung? He’s gorgeous. Honestly if you don’t hop on that I will.”

You scoffed, “I couldn’t care less what he looks like. His personality is shit, he’s a slob, he brings a different girl home to fuck almost every weekend—not quietly, might I add—and is always mean to me. Am I supposed to just discount that because of his looks?”

“I just don’t get it. He’s always nice to me when I come over.” San propped a hand under his chin, a small pout on his lips.

“He’s seemingly nice to everyone except me.”

“And you really don’t know why that is?” San asked, eyebrows furrowing.

You took a sip of your iced tea, looking at him with exhaustion, “Not a damn clue.”

You heard Wooyoung loudly stomp out to the kitchen. Annoyed, you craned your neck to face him, “What do you want?”

“Quit making so much goddamn noise, would you? I’m working on something important.”

“Oh, like what?” You gave a bitter laugh, “Seducing your next girl toy for this weekend? Because you certainly aren’t cleaning your side of the room.”

“At least I have sex! Maybe that’s why you’re such a bitch all the time.”

Your eyes widened, an overwhelming feeling to crush his skull coursing through you. As you stood you saw a flicker of fear in his eyes and you would’ve laughed in any other situation.

“Out.” You uttered under your breath.

Wooyoung’s face contorted to an expression of confusion, then offense. No doubt a second away from firing back with some rude comment.

You took one step closer to him, noticing the way his eyes drifted downward to your hand tightening on the spatula you were grasping.

“I said.” Two steps closer, “Get. Out.”

To your surprise he didn’t fight back. Wooyoung pressed his tongue to the side of his mouth and left out a breath, nodding and walking to the door, slamming it on his way out.

The instant he was gone you crumbled. Falling to the floor you began to sob. You were hungry, stressed, and beyond exhausted. Your head throbbed as it always did when you were around him, somehow even worse this time. If you had the energy to feel sexually frustrated, you probably would’ve felt that, too. You didn’t want to admit it—and you hadn’t to anyone but yourself—but you did find him attractive. Very attractive. And you cursed yourself for that.

And okay yeah, maybe you hadn’t had sex in a long time and yeah maybe your resolve for fighting your feelings about him was starting to crumble, but you couldn’t admit that to him. You’d survived living with him for three months and you could make it one more, just until the semester was over.

The tears streaming down your face made it almost impossible to see anything, but you reached for your phone on the kitchen counter regardless. You texted San, begging him to come over.

In record time, you heard a knock at your door. Pulling yourself together, you got to your feet and slowly put one foot in front of the other.

Prying the door open, you were greeted with a sympathetic face, “What did he do this time?”

You led San to the couch. Shutting your eyes out of frustration and willing the tears to stop, you grabbed a pillow and held it tight to your chest. In between hiccups and sobs you retold the event, a few stray tears streaming down your face as you did so.

“Oh sweetie,” San wrapped you into a tight hug and let you bury your head into his shoulders, taking all the time from him you needed.

“How about we go out?” He asked, wiping a tear from your cheek, “We could go shopping or get boba or do whatever you’d like.”

You nodded, eager to do anything to get away from your apartment. And so, you left with San, spending the day ignoring the homework glaring your direction and sipping on far too expensive boba. By the time the sun was setting, you sighed, knowing you’d have to face Wooyoung once more.

“Think you’ll be okay?” San asked as you sat in his car outside your apartment.

“I’m gonna have to be. I have to go back sooner or later.”

San nodded, pulling you into a hug once more. “If he pulls any bullshit, I swear to god give me a call and I’ll beat his ass.”

You smiled at your friend. “Thanks, San.”

You felt dread creep over your body as you opened the car door and walked up to your apartment. You closed your eyes as you unlocked the door and pressed on the knob to open the door. Walking in, you saw Wooyoung propping his feet up on the table in front of the couch. A TV show you didn’t recognize was on screen.

“Oh god you’re back.” Wooyoung sighed, “I was really hoping you’d leave me alone for a while after yelling at me this morning.”

Feeling completely drained, your voice came out in a whisper. “Why are you so fucking mean to me?” You didn’t realize why his expression softened until you felt a few tears begin to run down your cheek. Again.

His voice was more gentle this time, his eyes softening as he took in the sight of you crying for the first time. “You’re mean to me, too.”

“Because I have to be! How else am I supposed to react when you call me a bitch or say mean things to me? Am I supposed to just take it?” You walked closer to him, determined to prove your point.

Wooyoung ran a hand through his hair. He stood up and took several steps towards you, his other hand resting on his hip. “You want the truth?”

“Yes!”

“I don’t know how to act around you.”

Your brows furrowed, “And? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I try to piss you off because you’re really hot when you’re mad, but I don’t know when I take it too far or how to stop.” His eyes darted between yours, gauging your reaction.

You blinked, not fully processing his words. “Then why do you bring girls home every weekend?”

His eyebrows narrowed, “Because I’m trying to make you jealous! It’s obviously not working!”

“Yeah obviously!” You crossed your arms, trying to hold onto the remaining anger you had, but you couldn’t help but notice what San had been talking about earlier. His sharp jawline, beautiful tanned skin, the way his tight clothes hugged his fit body...his plump lips which were looking far, far too soft at the moment.

Wooyoung noticed your staring and moved a hand to tilt your chin up, forcing your eyes to lock with his.

“Kiss me.” He ordered.

“What?” You asked with much less conviction than you intended. You could feel your anger fading, being taken place by the fire igniting in your lower abdomen.

His face became more serious, “If you don’t want this, say so and we’ll pretend it never happened. I’ll understand.”

Slight panic set in, and in fear that you’d never get another chance, you kissed him hard. He instantly returned the kiss, letting go of your jaw and running his hands down the sides of your body. You shivered, his actions fanning the desire within you.

He chuckled darkly, “Cute.”

You whimpered and reached down to wrap your hands around his belt, grabbing it and pulling him closer to you.

“Nuh-uh. You’re gonna be patient, understood?”

“I don’t have to be anything.”

“Then I’m not gonna help you get off. You want that? Hmm”

You whined, reluctantly shaking your head. Wooyoung bit your lip and pushed you to sit down on the couch.

“Take your shorts off.”

You didn’t want to question how quickly you became submissive to him, or how desperately you wanted him inside you, because you couldn’t. Part of you felt like you couldn’t even fully process everything that was happening. You just wanted him to touch you, please you, give you something.

He smirked when you tossed your shorts to the side, eyes lingering on the blue lace panties you were wearing. He placed his arms on either side of you, lips beginning to dance down the side of your neck, taking in how you squirmed beneath him.

Wooyoung placed a few sloppy kisses on your neck that left you whining before leaning in close to one of your ears, “You’re completely soaked. Do I turn you on that much, princess?”

You closed your eyes, nodding eagerly.

“Use your words. You can do that, can’t you?”

“Yes.” You squeaked.

You felt his fingers lightly brush the inside of your thighs, getting so close to where you wanted him to touch you, but never reaching it.

“Please.” You begged, out of breath even though he had barely touched you.

“Please what?”

You opened your eyes, “Please touch me. I need you so bad.”

He growled and ran a finger along your clothed slit, prompting you to wrap your arms around his neck, your hips bucking up into his fingers.

“Tell me,” He whispered, voice becoming deeper by the second, “How long has it been for you? A month? Two?”

You shook your head, “Over a year.”

“Ah,” Wooyoung chuckled, “This will be fun, then. Won’t it?”

“You better not draw this out.” You said, not at all sounding threatening.

“Oh darling, don’t tempt me.”

You huffed, removing a hand from his neck and running it down his chest before slightly dragging your hands over his clothed erection. His breathing sped up and you smiled.

Cute, you thought.

As if he could read your thoughts, one of his hands slipped under your panties, fingers rubbing agonizingly slow circles on your clit. You gasped, your hand halting it’s movements as you felt my brain fog over, legs already twitching slightly.

Wooyoung’s lips moved back to your neck, quickly finding your most sensitive spots and kissing them repeatedly. He pulled away to remove your shirt, then bra. Before you instinctively went to cover your chest, he took one of your nipples in his mouth, his hand toying with the other. Your back arched as you moaned his name, weaving your hands through this hair. His free hand once again returned to your core, playing with the clothed bud.

“Oh for the love of god take them off.” You complained, surprised when he actually slid your panties down your legs.

His dark orbs remained on your heat before flicking up to your eyes, “You’re so pretty, you know? I had no doubt you’d have a pretty pussy, too.”

You flushed, feeling embarrassed only temporarily before you felt his fingers brush over your slit, embarrassment disappearing as you watched as he lowered his head and took your clit in his mouth, sucking the sensitive bud.

“Wooyoung-g fuck. Don’t stop!”

He chuckled, the vibrations stimulating you further. He pushed a digit into you, curling it as he did so, soon pressing another in.

“F-feels good. Better than my—fingers.”

“You touch yourself, baby?”

“Yes,” you moaned, “When you’re not here.”

“Such a shame. Why don’t you ask me for help next time, mmm?”

His cocky tone both pissed you off and turned you on, both he was becoming very good at. “Shut up and eat me out, Wooyoung.”

He growled, a borderline primal noise that caused a whine to leave your lips, “Say please.”

Before you could say a word, he pressed two fingers into you, stretching you out. Bending down to ear, he spoke again, “Say please, my princess.”

Your resolve was wearing, and at this point you didn’t care what you said or how pathetic you sounded, as long as he got you off.

“Please!”

Wooyoung smiled and moved back to your core, swirling his tongue around your most sensitive areas. You’d lost count of the amount of times you had moaned his name and begged for him to continue, but you didn’t care. You only cared about release and you were so, so close. You knew he could tell, too, based on his movements.

“Let go for me, y/n.”

As you felt your release, Wooyoung rubbed small circles on your thighs, smiling at you sweetly.

“Take me into the bedroom. You’re not fucking me on this couch.” You managed to say through ragged breaths.

“You’re hot when you try to boss me around.”

“I’m hot all the time, fuck you.”

He let out a full laugh—why had you never noticed his dimples before?—and began leaving kisses along your neck again.

You sighed, “Okay this is absolutely unfair.”

“Why’s that?” He asked, before continued his actions.

“You’ve still got all your clothes on.”

He smiled, “Guess we’ll have to fix that then.”

Without a word he picked you up, carrying you princess style to your bedroom, plopping you on the bed.

“Why do we have to fuck on my bed?”

“We don’t have to fuck at all if you-”

“No wait, wait I’m sorry.” You pleaded, desperation taking over.

Wooyoung laughed, pulling his shirt over his head and discarding the rest of his clothes before climbing on top, eyes devouring every inch of you.

“You should stop wearing shirts. Like for good.” You traced your hands down his abs, watching him chuckle.

“You should just never wear clothes again, beautiful.” He leaned down to your ear, breath tickling your skin, “Are you ready, baby girl?”

You nodded.

“That’s not a yes.”

“Christ. Literally just fuck me please!”

Flipping you on your stomach, he grabbed your ass and raised it in the air. Wordlessly he entered you, groaning as he stretched you out. You felt his nails grip hard into your ass, but you could hardly care as his continuous motions were making your eyes roll back.

Stings of moans and pleads left your mouth, muffled by the bedsheets as he endlessly left you breathless. In the few moments that you were able to have conscious thoughts, you wondered if this was like drugs were like. You felt intoxicated, completely out of breath. And you wanted like hell for it not to stop.

You let yourself give into him fully. Letting go of all the tension and stress you’d built up for months.

What a place you’ve ended up with him. You let out a small laugh, knowing your friends would never believe you were fucking the man who had made your life hell for so long.

“You laughing at me?” Wooyoung asked, confused.

You turned to look at him. He was as beautiful as ever. His tan skin glazed with a thin layer of sweat, his usually styled hair a mess.

“You’re a lot more tolerable like this, you know?” You jabbed at him with a laugh.

Wooyoung laughed, picking up his pace as he found your clit and began to toy with it, “So are you, dear.”

In an instant, without any warning it seemed, you were cumming hard. His name was falling from your lips with incoherent moans. His motions continued as he rode you out through your orgasm before you pulled him away from sensitivity.

“You still gonna yell at me after all that?” You asked in a half-joking manner.

Wooyoung let out a groan, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you close. He nuzzled his head against your neck. “Not if you don’t yell at me first.”

You were silent, weighing on whether to ask the question in your brain, afraid of the answer. “Do you…do you regret it?”

Wooyoung looked taken aback, his face scrunching in confusion. “No, god no. Why?”

“I mean we weren’t exactly close before.”

Wooyoung rolled onto his back, staring at the ceiling in thought. “No, not exactly. But,” He sat up beside you, running his fingers along your face, “I’d like to try to be. If that’s alright with you.”

Your heart fluttered. And for once, you let it. “I’d really like that.”

Guys, I need help. I just spent an hour working on my latest post and when I saved it, all of my work was gone. It just completely disappeared. I don’t know if it’s a glitch or what’s happening, but I’m so upset because I was so proud of how it was turning out. Has this happened to anyone else? I honestly don’t know how to fix it and I don’t even know if I’m able to get my progress at this point. Any and all comments help at this point. I’m so sorry guys

Happy Valentine's Day!! 😚💕

Even though I’m super late Happy Valentines Day bb!!! I hope you had a wonderful day! :)))

Last Update Before I Return!

(Note: This is just a bunch of personal garbo, don't feel like you have to read it all!)

So yes I've been gone for far too long but I can explain-

Classes started picking up and kept me busy for a long time. With my college graduation coming up in the fall, there's been a lot for me to do. Somewhere in between I found a guy I became interested in. This is hella rare for me, so he became someone special. A few months into knowing him, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I agreed. This past weekend he broke up with me. We live roughly two hours apart and it was hard to work out times that we'd see each other. I'm pretty heartbroken over it to be honest, and seeing him smile and laugh online (he's in a band and posts videos with his band mates to advertise ofc. Literally never date anyone in a band they will leave you for the band. Hella ironic that the last fic I wrote was about Yunho in a band, I legit didn't even know the guy yet) is not a great feeling. But! I’ll be putting that energy into my writings so expect more angst ig? Anyways, with one of my classes ending early, I'm going to be setting aside time for me to write more often. So starting next week, begin to expect weekly posts again! Thank you to everyone who has sent me kind words since my disappearance, I love you all.

happy new year!!!!!!! thank you for being one of the first ateez fic writers i discovered <333 i hope you'll have a good 2022 💞💞💞

Thank you! I hope you do too! Sorry I’ve been hella inactive here recently, but thank you so much 🥺🥺

Every time I tell myself that an imagine is almost done I end up writing a thousand more words and then I have to write five thousand more to wrap up the storyline and then I decide to add more detail and the process endlessly continues

Skjsnsmjsk this is the first post of mine to reach 200+ notes!! Thank you so much everyone😭💕

Just This Once~

ꕥPosted: 8/30/21

ꕥGenre: Fluff, Smut

ꕥPairing: Fem!Reader x Sub!San (He’s also a soccer player but we ain’t here for the plot-)

ꕥWord Count: 1.9k

ꕥWarnings: Unprotected sex, mentions of San in subspace, reader discovers she has a power kink, San discovers he has a praise kink, use of “good boy” and “baby boy,” use of handcuffs, oral sex (m receiving)

ꕥTag List: @cappujinho​ @bobateastay​ @nevieatiny​ @onceonafullmoon

ꕥA/N: I’m back! Sorry for being gone for a bit, college started back up two weeks ago and I’m bound and determined to get straight A’s so I’ve spent almost all my time on schoolwork lol. Anyways! I’m gonna try to post at least biweekly. In a day or so I’ll have you all vote of my next fic topic also! All feedback is appreciated :)

San flopped down on the bed before her, a sigh leaving his lips as he settled into its silky fabric. Exhaustion was prominent on his lower eyes, visible in the way he awkwardly leaned back into the cushions. The movements caught her attention, causing her eyes to flicker towards his and away from the tv. Her eyes shined and he felt butterflies in his stomach as she smiled at him.

After all this time. She still makes me giddy. San mused.

“Hi, love.” His voice sounded strained.

“Hi, baby. Is practice getting to you?” She asked, moving a strand of hair from his face, looking at him with concern, “If you’re pushing yourself too hard again I swear I’ll force you to take a break.” She giggled, trying to lighten the mood.

“I’m just frustrated. I can’t seem to focus and our tournament’s in three days. I just don’t know what to do.”

Keep reading

Hey hey bestie! How about San with the genre of fluff and the title “Arts and Crafts”?

ꕥPosted: 9/23/21

ꕥGenre: Fluff

ꕥPairing: Fem!Reader x San

ꕥWord Count: 432

ꕥWarnings: Language and hella fluff

ꕥTag List: @cappujinho​ @bobateastay @nevieatiny​ @onceonafullmoon @hxneyboy

ꕥA/N: Hey hey girl! Hope you enjoy this one and thanks for the request ;)

-

You sat around your shared kitchen table, various childhood crafts and supplies splayed across the wood. The minute San heard you had never made a macaroni necklace, he dragged you to the nearest craft store and bought an assortment of noodles and other supplies to make up for your “terribly sad childhood,” according to San.

You had to admit you were a bit confused though. If he wanted you to make a macaroni necklace so bad, why did he keep stealing your noodles? Sure, he was making his own necklace, but there were plenty of noodles for the both of you.

The bastard.  

“If you don’t stop that I will actually break your kneecaps.” You scolded, looking not at all intimidating as you tried to hide your smile.

San threw his head back and laughed before he stole another noodle from your hands, “Ah come on, let me have a little fun.”

“I don’t appreciate your mockery of my art,” You motioned to the necklace he was holding, “Besides, we’ve got plenty of pasta so stick to your own necklace, you monster.”

He smiled as he took another glance at the macaroni necklace in your hands, “I’m pretty sure you’re doing it wrong.”

“Okay that’s it.” You stood up and pounced on his shoulders, laughing as he feigned being hurt.

He shook you off, gently tossing you to the floor. San fell down with you, his arms outstretching to prop himself up. As he leaned closer to your lips you felt your heartbeat quicken.

You spoke in barely a whisper, “That was very rude of you, you know that?”

San raised a brow and gave you a lopsided smile, “Oh you were totally asking for it, though.”

“Was not.”

“You actual child.”

“You were the one who suggested we make macaroni necklaces and you’re calling me a chi-?”

The man pressed a quick kiss to your lips to stop you from talking. His plush lips moved in time with yours and you giggled as you felt him smile against your kiss.

“Actually,” San murmured against your lips, “I think your necklace looks great. I just like how cute you look when I give you hell.”

“How charming.”

“Oh you love me.” San whispered as he nuzzled his nose against your neck, making you squirm at the ticklish sensation.

Your eyes crinkled as you smiled, love in your eyes. “I’ll deny that ‘till my dying breath.” The way you said it, it might as well have been ‘I love you.’ After all, the silver band around your left ring finger said otherwise.

So it’s my birthday apparently??

happy birthday bisexuals

Asap (like the song from STAYC), Mingi, Fluff for the prompt game 💜💜💜💕

ꕥPosted: 9/16/21

ꕥGenre: Fluff

ꕥPairing: Fem!Reader x Mingi

ꕥWord Count: ~530

ꕥWarnings: None

ꕥTag List: @cappujinho​ @bobateastay @nevieatiny​ @onceonafullmoon @hxneyboy

ꕥA/N: Reminder that I’m taking asks at the moment for the made-up title game! Hope you enjoy this one! :)

-

“Hello there, Mr. Bird. Are you having a good morning?”

The sparrow cocked its head and hopped closer to the park bench you were sitting on. You smiled, egging the bird to come closer. It cocked its head again, its little eyes blinking at you.

“I’m not scary, I promise.” Your voice was soft, afraid of frightening it away.

As if the bird understood you, it hopped closer still, looking at you with wide eyes. 

“I really wish I had food or something to give you, little guy. You’re just so cute.”

“So are you.” A young man standing across from you laughed at your startled expression. He gave you a lopsided smile.

“I...You’re gonna scare the bird away.”

The bird turned to the man and began to hop in his direction and you didn’t try to hide the pout on your face.

He laughed, “Why do you look so sad?”

You crossed your arms, “You stole my bird from me.”

The man crouched down, looking at the bird, “Go on back, I think the beautiful lady misses you.”

The bird blinked at him and flew to you, perching on your knee and letting out a happy chirp.

“You’re making heart eyes at that bird.” He laughed again. It was a deep sound that matched his voice. It was handsome, just like him, and you felt yourself being drawn to the stranger.

“He understands!” You gushed, “I wish I could keep him as a pet. It’s like he’s listening to me and I feel like a Disney princess.”

“Well he just listened to me, too…so.”

You gave him a frown, “Yeah but he listened to me first.”

The man approached you with a smile and motioned at the empty spot next to you, “May I?”

You nodded and he took a seat. As he sat down, the little bird sat on your lap too, seemingly content. You smiled at the sight.

“I saw you yesterday, at the bookstore.”

“Oh?” Your voice was tiny, butterflies fluttering in your stomach because he remembered you, even if you didn’t know who he was.

“Yeah. You’re so kind, you know that? I saw you helping that older lady find the books she was looking for. You made conversation and you were so welcoming to her. You didn’t even know her. I admire that.”

You were quiet, not sure of what to say. You were thankful for the compliment but surprised that he even noticed you. You didn’t think that you did anything special, you just wanted to be nice to the woman.

He cleared his throat, “I’m Mingi, by the way.”

“Y/n.”

“Well, y/n if you’d like, there’s another library that I found around here recently. It’s essentially the Library of Alexandria I mean they’ve got everyth-”

“Yes!” You said without thinking, your eyes widening when you realized how overly enthusiastic you must’ve sounded. If the man noticed your slightly flushed cheeks, he didn’t comment on it.

Mingi chuckled, standing up and extending a hand to you, “Come with me? I’d love to go with you as soon as possible. I’d really like to get to know you. Maybe we could go right now? If you’re free, that is.”

You smiled, gladly taking his hand. “I’d love to go.”

The bird looked at you and then to Mingi, chirping as though it was a goodbye and flew away out of sight. Neither you nor Mingi knew it, but the bird’s job was done, bringing you two together. The bird sang happily at the success. He was quite the match-maker, indeed.

Hi everyone! So to fill in a bit of time until I finish the Supervillian!Yeosang with Policewoman!Reader, I decided I’ll try the made-up fic title game! Basically, send me an ask with a made-up title, genre, and member of Ateez and I will write what I think might go along with it! (I hope this makes sense, I’m shit at explaining things). Anyways! If anyone is interested, send me a title! They’ll probably be short (roughly ~1k words) but I’d love to still post content while I’m working on longer fics! Requests will probably be open for a while, so feel free to send in ideas whenever!

Just over a year ago, I started this account and made this post. It was absolutely wild to me that anyone enjoyed my work enough to follow me.

Now, a little over 400 people follow me! That’s crazy! I’m so honored and just so thankful to everyone who has ever interacted with my work. I’ll continue to work hard to make you all proud and give you content you enjoy :) I genuinely don’t know what else to say beyond thank you, so I’ll wrap it up. I hope everyone has a wonderful day and I’m wishing nothing but the best to everyone 💕💕

How tf have I gotten 70+ likes on my recent post for San and 40+ likes on the crack post I made about Yunho? AND- I have 10 followers!! It might sound insignificant compared to the number of followers other people have but I’m so happy! I didn’t really expect many people to read my stuff, I just wanted a place to keep a collection of my writings to track my progress. To everyone who had read, rebloged, or liked my stuff: Really, thank you :))

Also take care of yourselves out there! Wash your hands and eat well!! Much love💖💖💖

~Doe

I’ve been gaining a lot of followers lately (thank you so much btw🥺💕) so I wanted to reintroduce myself for everyone who is new!

My name is Doe, my pronouns are she/her, and I’m 22 years old

I graduated college roughly a year ago and I live in the us

My Ateez bias is San but I’m in love with all of the members and it’s a constant struggle

I write both nfsw and sfw content and I have a masterlist on my pinned post that has all my works listed. I keep it updated as often as I can!

I’m very friendly so please don’t be shy to say hello! I love meeting new people :))

Constructive criticism is always welcome! I want my writing to improve, not only for myself, but for you all as well! I want to write imagines/fics that many people can enjoy!

And requests are always open unless I decide to close them, in which case I’ll make a post about it. I have a link on my pinned post that has the rules for what I will and will not write so please read that before you request anything!

Whether you are following me or not, thank you for being here! Your support means the world to me💕

Just This Once~

ꕥPosted: 8/30/21

ꕥGenre: Fluff, Smut

ꕥPairing: Fem!Reader x Sub!San (He’s also a soccer player but we ain’t here for the plot-)

ꕥWord Count: 1.9k

ꕥWarnings: Unprotected sex, mentions of San in subspace, reader discovers she has a power kink, San discovers he has a praise kink, use of “good boy” and “baby boy,” use of handcuffs, oral sex (m receiving)

ꕥTag List: @cappujinho​ @bobateastay​ @nevieatiny​ @onceonafullmoon

ꕥA/N: I’m back! Sorry for being gone for a bit, college started back up two weeks ago and I’m bound and determined to get straight A’s so I’ve spent almost all my time on schoolwork lol. Anyways! I’m gonna try to post at least biweekly. In a day or so I’ll have you all vote of my next fic topic also! All feedback is appreciated :)

San flopped down on the bed before her, a sigh leaving his lips as he settled into its silky fabric. Exhaustion was prominent on his lower eyes, visible in the way he awkwardly leaned back into the cushions. The movements caught her attention, causing her eyes to flicker towards his and away from the tv. Her eyes shined and he felt butterflies in his stomach as she smiled at him.

After all this time. She still makes me giddy. San mused.

“Hi, love.” His voice sounded strained.

“Hi, baby. Is practice getting to you?” She asked, moving a strand of hair from his face, looking at him with concern, “If you’re pushing yourself too hard again I swear I’ll force you to take a break.” She giggled, trying to lighten the mood.

“I’m just frustrated. I can’t seem to focus and our tournament’s in three days. I just don’t know what to do.”

Soccer became a passion of his when he was young. He and seven other friends of his spent essentially all their free time playing. Although they were all incredibly talented, San had won an MVP trophy three years in a row and as such he put a lot of pressure on himself to improve.

“Is there anything I can do?” She asked, eager to help.

“I’m afraid not. Thank you, though. I appreciate it.” San gave her a sad smile.

His legs spread slightly as he shifted to find a more comfortable sitting position. He had no underlying intent with the action, but feelings of desire awoke in his lover anyways. She’d never been dominant with him before, not that she had a large problem with it since she had a more submissive temperament anyways, but this time she wanted to take care of him. Just once, she wanted to have him at her control.

He always preferred to have control, not because he was afraid to submit to her, but because he wanted to shower her in praise and love every time she was at her most vulnerable with him. He never wanted her to forget how much she meant to him.

Looking at how tired he was, she felt her heart pang. As good of a time as any, she told herself.

She moved to take a seat in his lap, loosely wrapping her arms around his neck. Her eyes sparkled as she leaned towards his ear, biting his earlobe slightly. “Please let me take care of you.”

He hesitated, knowing what she was hinting at, but not wanting her to feel obligated to do so.

“I don’t know, honey. I don’t want you to feel like you have-”

“Hey.” She caressed his face with her hands, “I want to do this. Just this once, let me do all the work. Please?”

He pressed his lips into a small smile, secretly enjoying how adamant she was being. He was looking forward to it, he couldn’t deny.

“Okay, baby.”

Given the green light, she began to leave kisses down his freckled neck, knowing full well how sensitive his neck was. He let out a hum, moving his hands to wrap around her waist and pull her closer. She smiled and gave a gentle bite to the skin, beginning to suck at the area and leaving a beautiful purple mark behind.

“You’re already doing so well for me, baby boy.”

San laughed through a moan as she began to palm him through his jeans, “You’re really getting into this, huh?”

She giggled and bit her lip as she helped him remove his shirt, “A little.”

She leaned forward to push him back on the bed, the both of them laughing as he was knocked back. He moved up to her lips and kissed her hard, “Well I’m enjoying this a lot.”

With a smile she reached for his hands, pinning them above his head. It was such a thrill to her, knowing that he could so easily overpower her, but he wanted her to have the power. He wanted her to make him submit.

The thought gave her chills.

The woman hesitated before asking, “Can I handcuff you?”

San stilled, thinking it over. He’d never even thought about being handcuffed before, even though he’d put them on her countless times. Eventually he nodded with a slight grin, a spark of excitement running through him.

She bit her lip to hide a smile before darting to their closet, rifling through the assortment of sex toys before pulling out a pair of handcuffs and promptly cuffing her lover to the bed.

“Is this still okay? Is it uncomfortable?” She asked him.

His eyes filled with love, “I’m okay, babe. Promise. Now come here, gimme a kiss.” He pursed his lips at her.

She happily placed a kiss on his lips. It was a light kiss, one that quickly turned heated and sloppy. Both began a desperate game of bucking their hips against the others’ in hopes of some sort of friction and she couldn’t help but bite her lip at the feeling of him growing hard.

“You’re so hot, San,” She ran her hands down his abs, causing the man to shudder underneath her fingertips, “Never in my life have I met a man as amazing as you. I never thought I’d be able to find a man who is so kind and generous and just so good to me. You’re more than everything I’ve ever dreamed of.”

The man flushed a shade of pink as deep as his hair, feeling at a loss for words. He opened and closed his mouth, hoping words would come to him. When none did, the woman pressed another kiss to his lips.

“Thank you for loving me.” She whispered before resuming her task of trying to pull an assortment of whines and moans from his mouth.

Encircling her fingers through the belt loops of his jeans, she pulled down the fabric as slow as possible, pressing kisses to the newly exposed skin. San bit his lip, trying to conceal the noises threatening to escape him.

“Sweetheart, that just won’t do.” She taunted him, fully removing his jeans and underwear, “I’m gonna need you to be loud for me. Let me hear how good I’m making you feel. Can you do that?”

He nodded, his bottom lip still between his teeth until she raised a brow at him. “Yes...I-I can do that.”

“Good boy.”

He whimpered, tensing against the restraints as she pressed a kiss against the tip of his member, then taking him in her mouth. Her hands held his thighs down as he unconsciously tried to thrust against her, the noises he was making only spurring her on. She hollowed out her cheeks and tried to take in as much as she could, her eyes beginning to water. Ignoring the tears threatening to spill she found a steady pace, pleased when he arched his back off the bed.

“Your mouth feels so fucking good. God it always does.” He moaned, his chest rising and falling rapidly.

She swirled her tongue around his cock, enjoying everything about the situation. His taste, his noises, the power she had over him. The woman pulled back from him, a trail of saliva connecting from his member to her lips. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, drinking in his already fucked-out state.

“Please.” His eyes were pleading, every ounce of him yearning for anything she would give him. He didn’t even register what he was saying, not even fully understanding how quickly he was entering a sub-space.

She gave him a dark smile, “What was that?”

San averted his eyes, feeling incredibly embarrassed as a blush appeared on his face. He turned away from her and felt her grab his chin, “Nuh-uh baby boy. I want you to repeat that.”

He closed his eyes, his desire to be inside her greater than any embarrassment he could possibly feel, “Please. Ruin me.”

“As you wish.” She whispered into his ear, tearing off her own clothes. Only then did she realize how wet she had become, her drenched panties all but sticking to her skin. The man smiled slightly at the knowledge that only he could turn her on that much.

She belonged only to him.

When their bodies finally connected, they simultaneously groaned at the feeling. The pent up desire in both getting fulfilled at last. The woman placed her hands on either side of his chest, beginning to raise and slam her hips into his. He met her halfway, doing his part to meet her hips in the middle.

The sound of skin and noises of pleasure echoed across the room. If either had the capacity to be bashful, they would have been, yet the pleasure growing within them shut out any feelings of shyness. His eyes closed as she continued to grind down against him, giving him no chance to breathe at the repeated stimulation, not that he cared.

So this is what it’s like on the other side, he thought, now completely immersed in her and only her, in everything she was doing to him. San felt like his heart was going to explode, from either love or pleasure he didn’t know. Likely both.

“My good little boy.” She cooed, feeling entranced in his sultry gaze and sweat-covered skin not knowing he was feeling the same way.

He whined at the praise, his hips again raising to meet hers. She began to feel a slight pain in her thighs from the repeated motions and she couldn’t help but wonder how San was always able to do so without feeling tired. Regardless, she did her best to keep her speed, only faltering when he hit a certain spot inside of her. He panted when she picked up speed, chasing her own high and instructing him to do the same.

She spoke without even registering her words, the pleasure becoming overwhelming for her, “You make...make me feel so good, San.”

The man bit his lip, trying to hold back for her but finding himself failing. “Please let me cum.” He cried, so close to his high but not daring to come undone without her permission.

She smiled sweetly at him. There wasn’t any way she’d prevent him from pleasure, yet she still found it cute of him to ask. “Let go for me, baby boy.”

And he did, desperately slamming his hips into hers for her high to follow shortly after. As they slowed their movements, with closed eyes and lazy smiles, she lifted herself off of him. His face was laced with concern when his lover winced from overstimulation, but she assured him she was alright as she removed the handcuffs.

The woman kissed his lips and told him to remain on the bed as she ran to get a warm towel. She returned with a kind smile and ran the cloth over his body, cleaning him up just as he always had for her.

As San slowly came back to his senses she pressed a light kiss to his forehead, followed by a tender “I love you,” which he returned with tears in his eyes.

“Baby, why are you crying?” She asked with furrowed eyebrows, raking her brain for anything she could’ve done to hurt him.

He shook his head, “I just love you so much. It’s overwhelming at times.”

She bit her lip as she felt her face flush and warmth spread throughout her chest, “So...what did you think?”

He gave her a big smile, “I think we should do that more often.”

“Yeah?” She asked eagerly, not trying to hide how much she got off to the power trip it gave her.

San pressed a soft kiss to her nose, “Yeah. We definitely should. That’s not just happening once.”

Good day

Good day/evening/night to you as well!! I hope you’re doing great :)

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Broken Strings~

ꕥPosted: 7/20/21

ꕥGenre: Fluff, Angst, Smut, College!au, Rockstar!au

ꕥPairing: Fem!Reader x Rockstar!Yunho

ꕥWord Count: 10k+

ꕥWarnings (please read all!!): Yunho’s ex is an absolute asshat, death threats towards both Yunho and reader, mention of knives used as weapons, San is a bisexual king (happy late pride month), unprotected pool sex/public sex (no one is around but I guess it still counts), masturbation (f), foul language, mentions of alcohol intake, reader is mentioned to have dark brown eyes several times which you can just ignore if you have different colored eyes ofc, mentions of a restraining order against an ex, please let me know if I missed something!!

ꕥTag List: @cappujinho @bobateastay @nevieatiny 

ꕥA/N: The song lyrics are ones that I wrote myself specifically for this au and I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t nervous about posting it. I know there isn’t any tune or anything, but hopefully it sounds like a real song someone might sing. Also I’m not writing angst for a while after this holy shit I’ve been crying too much over this I’m emotional okay

“Date night! Date night! Date night!” I grabbed my boyfriend’s arm, bouncing on my toes.

Yunho raised a hand to cover his ear, scrunching his face, “Babe, I love you, but I think you’ve deafened me.”

I pouted at his tone and crossed my arms, “You’re such a grump.”

“Oh whatever.” He smiled, “You ready?”

I smiled at him and nodded.

Ever since his band, Sidekick Heart, began to pick up traction, he had less free time and our full-day dates once a week soon became date nights every few weeks. Most of his time was spent writing songs, producing them, and practicing endlessly. The fact that he had a tour coming up soon just meant he had even less spare time. I was happy for him, of course, but I couldn’t hide my disappointment that he was leaving.

In middle school, he and three of his friends formed a band for fun, which they kept with all throughout high school. They got good, really good and almost right after they graduated they were signed by a label. Now, three years later, they’d already released two albums and one EP and earned enough money to make a living, which was why Yunho dropped out of college a month ago. Since he had steady career path, he saw no reason to continue and decided to focus on music. He still visited me at college whenever he got the chance, but his visits were becoming more and more sporadic.

We started dating freshman year of college. We had our difficulties as most couples do, but everyday I thanked the stars for pairing us together. I met him on the first day of French class, a day I know I could never forget, no matter how how our future played out.

I sat my backpack on the table in front of me, looking around the empty classroom. I was ten minutes early, so I wasn’t surprised about the lack of students. It was a bit unlikely for me to be so early, but I wasn’t able to sleep the night before and so I had extra time to get ready. With nothing else to do, I took out my phone, reading some missed text messages.

I heard the door open and my head tilted upwards, meeting eyes with a fluffy-haired brunet. He shyly smiled at me and I returned the gesture. The man took a seat in the front row across from me, only a few chairs in between us. I found it cute that he liked to sit in the front of the classroom, too. Very few people did. He turned away from me to place his backpack on the floor and take out a few books. I took the opportunity to look at him. He was attractive, for sure. His short sleeved solid black shirt followed his movements, tattoos peaking through his top. The shirt itself tucked was into ripped jeans, his black shoes matching the outfit, along with various accoutrements. His look was uncommon for college students, most just wore sweatpants with with a casual shirt. I thanked myself for dressing nice that day.

I tilted my head to get a better look at his side profile. He was so handsome that I seemed to forget I was staring. I couldn’t help but get caught up in him, not realizing that I was no longer being subtle.

He spoke without moving to face me, “You’re pretty cute, too.”

“I-I what?” My eyes widened, realizing I’d been caught.

He turned, a charming smile on his face, “You aren’t exactly discreet.”

I took a breath, trying to form a coherent sentence, “Well...can you blame me?”

He pursed his lips, trying to hide a smile, “I appreciate the compliment. What’s your name?”

I hesitated before answering him, which brought a full smile to his face. He moved closer to me before holding out his hand for me to shake. I grabbed his hand and shook it, trying to keep my hands steady. His hand was soft, clearly he took care of himself.

“I’m Yunho.”

I smiled, observing the way he lit up as he turned my hand, placing a delicate kiss on my skin. I felt my face heat up and averted my eyes. Yunho chuckled as he released my hand. Both of us looked up at the sound of the door opening, a group of students entered, followed by a lady who I presumed to be the teacher.

Yunho looked at me, “Meet me after class?”

I nodded, biting my lip as I felt excitement build in my stomach, wanting nothing more than for class to end as soon as possible.

The instant the teacher ended her lecture she left with the rest of the students, who were talking among themselves. My eyes flickered to Yunho to find him looking back at me, his backpack now thrown over his shoulders.

“You have any classes after this?” He asked in a nonchalant manner. Later he confessed to me that he was far more nervous than he appeared, claiming that he fell in love with me at first sight.

I finished placing my notebook in my bag, zipping it up and putting the straps over my arms, “Yeah, unfortunately. I’ve got World Politics in ten minutes.” 

“Aww damn. I was hoping we could grab some food.” He reached into his pants’ pocket, pulling out his phone, “Maybe I could get your number instead and we could meet up later?” He wasn’t pushy or demanding, simply asking.

I nodded quickly, “I’d like that, Yunho.”

He suddenly became more shy, the tips of his ears dusting a beautiful shade of pink, “I like the way you say my name.”

I giggled, trying to hide my own shyness. I took his phone and entered my number, really hoping that he would text me. As if he read my mind, he confirmed what I was thinking.

“I’ll text you,” He looked at me with sparkling eyes before shaking his head, like he was pulled back to reality, “Oh uh...you should probably get to class.“ He raised a hand, somewhat awkwardly scratching the back of his head.

“Yeah I probably should. I’ll see you around?”

He smiled, “I’ll see ya.”

-

It wasn’t long before he texted me, and it made my heart flutter that he kept his word. A day later we met up, grabbing ice cream and getting to know each other. He was a dance major and had to practically beg his parents to let him pursue dance. In return they said he had to repay them with getting straight A’s. He had one younger brother who was possibly the biggest baseball fan to ever exist, he roomed with three men he’d been friends with since kindergarten, and he absolutely adored my brown eyes.

“They’re just beautiful.” Yunho gushed, “Both times I’ve seen you they just sparkle and shine like they’ve got their own little galaxies in them. I’ve never seen anyone with such genuine, kind eyes.”

I let out a girly laugh at the compliment and covered my mouth with a hand, “You’re really trying to flatter me, aren’t you?”

“Depends. Is it working?” He laughed as he propped his head on one of his hands, leaning closer to me in the booth we were sitting in. We’d finished our ice cream long ago, now shamelessly flirting and getting lost in each other.

“It might be.”

“Well I do mean it. I’m not only trying to flatter you.”

The ringing of his phone caught our attention. He smiled apologetically and reached for the device. He sighed, reading the contact name and looking back up at me.

“I’m sorry I’ve gotta take this. It’s one of my roommates and it’s entirely possible they’ve set the house on fire.”

I laughed, “It’s okay, go ahead.”

Yunho excused himself as he answered the call, walking outside. I took a look around the shop we were in, smiling at all the decorations when I noticed a woman sitting alone, eating ice cream and staring at me. Her eyes were such an ice blue that they made her intimidating, to say the least. I wasn’t too surprised, I’d dressed nice and all throughout the day I’d been getting looks. Taking it as a compliment I smiled at her and waited for Yunho to return.

“So good news,” He started as he sat back down in the booth, running a hand through his hair, which was way more attractive than it should’ve been, “They haven’t burnt down the apartment, but San—he’s one of my roommates—his car ran out of gas a few miles away from here so I’ve gotta go help him. Can I drive you back to your own apartment first?”

“Oh no, I don’t want to worry you.” I waved a hand, “I can have a friend pick me up.”

He nodded, “If you’re more comfortable with that, sure, but I’d rather drive you home, if that’s okay.”

I nodded, walking with him as he guided me out to his car. We had our first kiss when he dropped me off, leaving me with the promise of another date, and he delivered. Time and time again he proved he truly cared about me, which inevitably led to a relationship.

We heard a loud crashing in the basement of the house and Yunho let out a frustrated groan, “Oh god it’s happening again.”

He walked over to the basement door, opening it and sighing at the loud yells emitting from below.

“What is it this time?” Yunho shouted.

Wooyoung’s voice rung out, “San won’t let me use the controller!”

The man in front of me placed a hand over his eyes, over the situation entirely, “You’re still fighting over that game?”

“Crash Bandicoot waits for no man!”

“San let him have the controller or I’ll come down there and I’ll beat both of your asses!” Yunho shut the door, giving me a tired smile and walking back to me, “You’d think we would’ve outgrown this stage by now. I’d fire them both and hire a new bassist and drummer if I could.”

“Okay that’s an absolute lie, and you say that like you’re any better. I saw you arguing with Seonghwa over the last bag of chips yesterday.”

He pointed a finger at me, not trying to hide the smile on his face, “Okay that was absolutely valid. I bought those and they were mine.”

I smirked. “My point still stands.”

He rolled his eyes playfully, changing the subject, “How about after our date I sing you a couple of our new songs?” He leaned closer, his lips barely grazing my ear, “I wrote a few about you.”

I pulled back from him, feeling warmth spread in my chest. “Really? You did?”

Yunho wrapped an arm around my waist, “How could I not? You’re always my inspiration.”

I let out a string of incoherent gibberish which prompted the most adorable eye smiles from my boyfriend. I felt too honored to put my emotions into words.

“Go on.” Yunho motioned to the front door, “Grab your purse and head out to my car. I’ll let the guys know we’re going and I’ll meet you outside.”

I gave him a salute, “You got it cap’n!”

His eyes warmed, “God, I love you.”

“I know!” I teased before I grabbed my purse and skipped out of the house. The sun would be setting soon and I admired the several hues that were painted within the sky. I sat on the hood of his car, swinging my feet as I saw him walk out of the house.

“So where exactly are we going?” I tilted my head, looking forward to his response.

“Well I’ve got a couple ideas.” He held up his long fingers and counted off on them, “We could go bowling, or we could have a late night picnic, or maybe...” He moved closer, placing his hands on either side of me with a mischievous grin, “We could go swimming.”

My face lit up, “I haven’t been swimming in forever!”

“I know, that’s why I recommended it.” He laughed, “Let’s break into the swimming pool downtown. It’s definitely closed by now so we can be alone.”

I raised my brows at his words, a smile widening on my face, “Don’t we need to bring swimsuits, though?”

Yunho grinned at me and moved a hand to ruffle my hair, “Nope. We’re going without ‘em.” He lifted me off his car, “Hop in, babe.”

-

We approached the fence with our hands interlocked, a new message greeting us. A red and black sign with the words ‘No Trespassing’ was attached haphazardly to one of the metal wires looped through the fence surrounding the pool.

Yunho tsked, “Aw that’s cute. Like that’s gonna keep us out. This is basically our pool anyways.” 

I laughed, both of us knowing full well there was no method of security beyond the sign and fence. The pool had never installed security cameras and after word spread that the owner had a fear of advancing technology, we had no worry of being caught.

He cupped his hands, holding them out for me to step on. I placed my foot on his hands as he lifted me up, helping me scale the fence. I stepped back, feeling a thrill as Yunho jumped over. It was probably the fourth or fifth time we’d done this, but each time was just as exciting. We walked over to the edge of the pool, its light blue water and the dark blue of the sunset opposing one another but making a beautiful visual.

“Alright, off we go.” Yunho’s fingers danced to the hem of my shirt, then pulling it off and ridding me of the layer of clothing. He pressed several kisses to the exposed skin, making me shiver.

Yunho then pulled back from me, slowly removing his shirt and giving me a teasing look when he caught me staring at his abs, “I look good, don’t I?”

“Shut up,” I laughed, lightly slapping his strong, tattooed arm before removing my skirt, enjoying the way my boyfriend’s eyes devoured me. I returned the action when I saw him remove his jeans, something he was clearly enjoying as well.

I turned back to the pool only to be thrown over Yunho’s shoulders. He let out a string of laughs as I struggled to get down, fearing that he would throw me into the water.

“If you throw me into the pool I’ll kill you!” I laughed, squirming on his shoulders.

“No...I would never do something like that.” I wasn’t even facing him, but I could hear the smile in his voice, which was my only indication that he was about to throw me into pool.

Before I could try to make any sort of escape, he tossed me into the water. It was cold, but less cold than I expected it to be. I coughed up a bit of water as I resurfaced and when I opened my eyes I squinted at Yunho, annoyed at how attractive he looked with the evil smirk on his face.

“You’re a jerk.” I said with no venom behind my words.

“Yeah, yeah. Brace yourself I’m coming in.”

I barely had time to move before he jumped in, his legs tucked to his chest. “Cannonball!”

I moved my hands in front of my face to block the wave of water coming my way, not feeling any surprise about my boyfriend’s childish behavior. When he resurfaced he faced me with a smile, wading towards me, embracing me in his arms, and wrapping my legs around his waist. He was so tall that he could reach the bottom of the pool without having to swim, unlike me, where I was no near reaching the bottom and needed to swim in place. With a satisfied hum he pressed several wet kisses to my neck.

“I love you,” he mumbled, his voice muffled by my skin.

“I love you too, babe.” I hesitated before I said my next words, still overwhelmed at how strong my feelings were for him, “You’re the love of my life.”

He pulled back with a bright smile on his face, his eyes shining almost as if he was tearing up, “I knew you were the love of my life the moment I saw you. And you’re all mine.” Yunho said before he placed a delicate kiss to my lips.

“All yours, babe.”

His long fingers danced along my sides, grabbing at my hips as he began to attack my chest with kisses. I giggled as the feeling of his stubble tickled my skin.

“You know, you really ‘oughta shave before you get a full beard.”

“Why? Are you saying I wouldn’t look good with one?”

I cupped his face, “You’d look amazing with one, but I thought you didn’t like beards, babe?”

“Hate ‘em.” Yunho’s laugh echoed around us, “Really weird that men can grow them in the first place. But anyways...”

His hands made quick work of my bra, letting it sink to the bottom of the pool. I opened my mouth to scold him but before I could his mouth latched to my right nipple, sucking and nipping on it in a way that made my hands seek out his hair and tug harshly at his locks. Letting out a growl, Yunho placed one hand on the the pool wall for balance and the other on my back, drawing abstract shapes there.

Yunho moved to my other nipple, giving it the same treatment and smiling when he heard my moans. In a flash he removed his hand from my back and pressed me against the pool wall, his hand now traveling to my panties.

As he removed the final item of clothing he ran a finger over my clit, giggling to himself. I gave him a look and he clarified, “Babe, you’re wet enough to fill an entire swimming pool.”

I groaned, pressing my head into his chest, “You make that same god awful joke every time we come here.”

“And as such I couldn’t let tradition die.”

“Shut up and fuck me.” I laughed, promptly helping him out of his boxers.

He continued to tease me after, switching between playing with my clit and stretching me out with his long fingers. By the time he finally gave in, I was a whimpering, pathetic mess, begging for more.

As he aligned with my walls he looked at me with delicate eyes, “Ready, little flower?”

I nodded quickly, chanting ‘yes’ over and over. Yunho once again placed a hand on the wall and hooked one of my legs over his waist, allowing him to thrust deeper inside me. He held my hand with his free one, a simple action that always melted my heart. Despite how long we’d been together, I would always get overwhelmed by him so easily. Everything about him exuded such a strong aura that sometimes just the smallest kiss would leave me breathless. The first time we were intimate he took his hand in mine and assured me he would be gentle, and every time since he’s held my hand. It wouldn’t feel right without our hands together.

“Shit—it’s been way too long since we’ve done this.” I said as he snapped his hips into mine, quickly repeating the action.

“God I know.” He let out a pained groan at the thought of it, “Four months is gonna be fucking awful without you.”

“Guess we’ll have to make do with what we’ve got now.”

“Guess we will.”

The sounds of water splashing and the echos of our moans, a symphony I had become so familiar with, was gradually reaching its crescendo. It was getting harder to keep my eyes open but I forced them to be, needed to memorize everything about this moment. The sweat dripping down Yunho’s forehead, the tattooed muscles he was flexing, the sounds and praise he was emitting, and pleasure we were both feeling--I wouldn’t see nor feel this for the next four months.

A particular snap of his hips had me seeing stars and I called out to him, letting him know I was close. Within minutes, both of us were panting and reeling from our highs. Yunho pressed his nose against mine and both of us closed our eyes, enjoying each other’s presence.

“How come every time we come here it ends in sex?” I giggled.

He blinked and moved a strand of wet hair out of my face, “Because you’re hot and barely wearing any clothes and no one’s around.”

I blushed at his compliment, “I mean like I’m not complaining or anything.”

A cocky smile formed on Yunho’s face, “Well it certainly didn’t sound like you were a moment ago.”

“Yunho!”

The man laughed, lifting me up and spinning me around in the pool before cradling me in his arms.

“I hate to say it, but we do need to head back. The world awaits for us, I’m afraid.”

I sighed, pressing into his chest, “I’m gonna miss you.”

He stilled as he pulled me closer, “I’m gonna miss you, too. You don’t have to miss me yet, though.”

“I know.” I swallowed, wishing I had something more to say.

“Come on, then.” Yunho gave me a quick kiss, “Let’s head back.”

-

Yunho held the front door open for me, giving me a gentle slap on my ass when I walked through. I turned around and gave him a playfully annoyed look, which he only laughed at.

As we walked towards the living room, the sound of a random sitcom filled our ears. Six heads turned our way after hearing our footsteps. Seonghwa was resting his head against his long-time girlfriend. She was a sweet girl and complimented him more than any woman I’d seen him with. They really were soulmates, if they ever existed.

San was sitting holding hands with a man he’d been interested in for awhile. I’d often see him flirting with various men and women, but he never went any further than that, too afraid of commitment. This man; however, seemed to breaking through San’s walls. I really hoped they would work out, San deserved someone as kind as him.

Wooyoung sat across from the them, who acknowledged us first.

“Hey guys. Have fun?” Wooyoung asked, smiling at my soaked hair. He had his arm around a woman I’d never seen before and I was certain that none of us would ever see her again. He had the reputation of a playboy, and every poor woman thought they’d be the one exception, the one to make him stay. I’m sure the allure of being a drummer in a band was part of his appeal, too. Maybe one day, like San, he’d settle down.

The woman became visibly upset when Wooyoung looked me with a teasing glance. Feeling sympathy for her, I decided to do my best to calm her nerves.

I spoke for us, linking hands with my boyfriend. “Yeah, we did. I think we’re gonna go clean up though.” I looked at the woman, “I’m y/n, by the way. I’m Yunho’s girlfriend.”

She didn’t even try to hide the relief on her face. “Oh! I’m Solar. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Yeah,” Wooyoung started, “Best girlfriend he’s ever had. Much better for him than Lucy.”

Yunho glared at the man, “Thought we agreed not to bring her up?”

Lucy, the woman Yunho dated before me, was arguably the scariest person I’d ever heard about. They dated for roughly three months before she became obsessive, to the point where Yunho had to get a restraining order against her. She threatened to hurt all of Yunho’s friends and family, all because she wanted Yunho all to herself. That was about all Yunho ever told me about her. Not that I complained. I didn’t exactly want to discuss his exes, even more so when they were that crazy.

I never told him, but I knew I saw her the first date we went on. I could see the way her piercing, ice eyes saw through me. I had no doubt it was her. I just hope I’d never see her again. Maybe now that she saw he was taken she’d leave us alone. There was an uncomfortable silence following, none of us knowing what to say until San spoke.

“You look like a wet dog, Yunho.” San joked, prompting laughter from a few of us, which seemed like more of a noise of relief rather than one of actual humor.

“Yeah, yeah.” My boyfriend relaxed his shoulders, “I think we’re gonna head in for the night so don’t make too much noise.” Waving them goodbye he caught up with me, placing a hand around my waist.

“Shower with me, doll.”

I placed a hand on his chest, “I would love to.”

-

I came out of the shower wearing my favorite large shirt of Yunho’s, drying my wet hair with a towel. The smell of chlorine had gone away for the most part; whatever chemicals the owner put in that pool always made the smell harder to get rid of. Only a small price to pay, I figured.

My boyfriend, who was much quicker than I was, looked up from his phone as he was splayed out across his bed. His tired eyes smiled at me while motioning me over. Yunho’s own hair was still drying and with his bare face and crooked smile, he was as handsome as he could ever be.

“Hey there.”

“Hey, sweetheart.” He reached an arm out to me, pulling me against him when I took his hand, “How ya feeling?”

“Tired.” I hummed, sleepily smiling against his neck.

“Too tired to listen to the song I wrote for you?”

“No! Not at all.”

Yunho chuckled, slowly brushing my hair aside and turning his head to look at me. As he had countless times, he took a breath before he turned to me, beginning to sing.

“You give me fireworks

I’ll give you the kindest words, my dear

Your love caught me

The moment I met your eyes

And how could I not fall?

Your heart bared, no disguise”

I fought to stay awake although his melodic voice seemed to be lulling me to sleep. I felt myself losing consciousness, but managed to catch the last few lyrics he sang to me.

“Now I sunbathe in the daybreak

Half asleep, half awake

Writing this song

As I hope I’ll dream of you”

Yunho brushed his fingertips brush against my face before he spoke, “Goodnight, flower.”

I muttered some form of a “goodnight” before I felt sleep take over me, nuzzling happily against my boyfriend.

-

I woke up in a panic, unsure why my heart was beating so fast until I looked at the clock. Eleven in the morning. I was an hour later than I should’ve been at my job. It seemed that even unconscious my body knew I was late.

“Oh shit I’m gonna be late for work!” I spoke with wide eyes.

Jumping from Yunho’s bed I stripped myself of his shirt and quickly threw my clothes on. The body that laid beside me stirred, moving the covers aside.

“Are you leaving?” He asked sleepily, his face puffy from sleep and an adorable pout on his lips.

I frowned, “Yeah. I’m sorry we didn’t get to spend more time together, babe.”

He shook his head, “Don’t worry about it. Both of us slept in.”

I tied my hair back, sighing. I was so caught up in my thoughts I almost missed Yunho’s question.

“Sorry what was that?”

He smiled, “You’re coming to our going away party tomorrow, right?”

“Of course. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” I moved back to the bed and hugged him, feeling my heart sink. I was proud of him, I really was, yet couldn’t help but feel sad that I wouldn’t see him for so long.

This was the longest tour they’d ever gone on and we’d never been apart from each other that long before. I trusted him and I was confident in our relationship, but realistically, all members of Sidekick Heart were attractive young men and a good portion of their fans were female. I was far more concerned about the female audience doing something than I was about Yunho making a move on another woman.

With one last squeeze of his shoulders I pulled back, goodbyes beginning to fall from my lips before Yunho pulled me back.

“I need a goodbye kiss.”

I pressed my lips together with a smile, gladly indulging him. Giving him one last kiss against the lips, I bid him farewell until the following day.

-

“So how was work?” My roommate asked as I walked in the house, propping her feet up on our couch and tossing a kernel of corn into her mouth, the lighting of the TV illuminating her blanket-covered body.

I sighed, sitting down on the floor next to her, “Other than being an hour and a half late and missing an important meeting I think it went okay. I’m just glad the day’s over.” Rubbing a hand over my face I turned to her, “What about you? How was your day?”

“Pretty damn good actually.” She smiled, removing the blanket and showing me the new ink on her upper arm. It was an assortment of flowers and matched her bubbly personality perfectly. They were now the fifth adornment on her beautiful dark skin, each one of them tempting me more and more to get a few of my own.

“Another one already, Tiff?”

“Listen, you’ll know how addicting they get as soon as you get your first.”

“You sound so confident that I will.”

“Oh I know you will. You’re dating a rockstar, after all. Not to mention he’s the goddamn lead singer and has tattoos of his own.”

“Shut up.” I giggled, “Speaking of, are you coming to the farewell party tomorrow?”

“I plan on it, but I’ll probably be there a couple hours late. My dad’s flying into town for the weekend so I plan on visiting first. I’m definitely coming though.”

I hummed, “Yeah, don’t worry too much about it. We all know it’ll go till sunrise anyway.”

She let out a loud laugh, likely remembering the last party of theirs we went to where she ended up more drunk than I’d ever seen her. She claims she remembers flashes of the night; playing strip beer pong and being dared to steal one of the neighbor’s bushes—which, after much convincing from those who were sober, she decided against it—but didn’t recall half of the hilarious memories of her the rest of us did. Personally, my favorite was watching her hold a tomato soup can and cry over the fact that it could never have children.

Tiff let out a yawn as she stretched her arms above her head, turning in my direction. Her words were muffled by her yawn as she spoke, “Imma go to bed now. You good before I go?”

I smiled at her, “Yeah I’m good. I won’t stay up too much longer, just need to go through my nightly routine of looking at the stars, ya know, the usual.”

She nodded, wrapping the blanket around her and heading to her bedroom, “Sleep well, babe. I’ll see ya tomorrow.”

“Back at ya.”

It was a habit of mine, gazing at the night sky before sleeping. It gave me comfort knowing that out there, somewhere, there was something else out there with me. Almost like I wasn’t going through everything alone.

I set my purse down when I reached our kitchen, reaching for a tea pot and tea bags, brainlessly brewing my favorite tea as I thought of what Yunho might be doing right now. It was probably most likely that he was practicing for their tours, but I could only hope he was getting a little bit of rest.

I stepped out onto our porch to look at the stars with a cup of tea in my hands, the night sky twinkling with all the stars it could offer. A slight breeze rustled my hair and I closed my eyes, thankful for the pleasant weather. I heard a sudden snap of a branch and my eyes quickly opened as I searched out property for any sign of an aggressive animal. My eyes finally landed on a human-like figure. Feeling adrenaline run though me, I decided to confront whoever or whatever it was.

“Who are you? What are you doing here?” I spoke, my voice loud but not quite a yell.

The figure took off it’s hood to show their face, and I saw a familiar pair of ice blue eyes, though I hadn’t seen them in years, “I’m here to see you, of course.”

My brain quickly connected her to the woman I hoped I’d never see again.

Lucy.

“Well I don’t want to see you. Leave.”

She pressed a hand to her chest, feigning offense, “But I came all this way! Just to...say hello.”

I took a step towards her, hoping that if I appeared confrontational she would leave me alone. “I don’t know who you are, now please leave. I’m not going to say it again.”

“Oh, you poor girl. You really think you have the upper hand?” She pulled out a knife, and walked towards me at impressive speed, pointing the weapon at my throat. “I know you’ve been seeing Yunho. I. Don’t. Like. That.” She emphasized every word of the last sentence, anger woven within her voice.

I wanted to fight back. Everything in me was screaming to fight back, but I knew I had no chance. I had no idea what she was capable of, and I didn’t dare to find out.

“I dated him first and he’s still mine. You’re going to break up with him, you hear me?” She screamed in my ear, the sound shaking me to my core, “I never want to see you near him again.” She grabbed my jaw harshly, forcing my eyes to lock with hers. “I bet he doesn’t even love you.”

My eyes watered. I knew she was wrong, but with the adrenaline coursing through my veins and the harshness of her words I began to doubt myself.

Her grip tightened and I let out a yelp, “He loves me and I love him. He’s always loved me, not you. Why would he ever love a thing like you?”

She then threw me to the ground, towering over me, “Break up with him. Make him hate you. If you don’t,” She squatted down next to me, once more pointing the knife at my throat, “I’ll kill him myself and make you watch. Then,” She cocked her head, a crazed smile plastered on her face, “I’ll kill you. If I can’t have him, no one can.” She stood, smirking at me, “And you know I will.”

She kicked me in the stomach, watching as I crawled into myself, groaning from the pain. I closed my eyes, hoping she wouldn’t hurt me any more than she already had.

“I’ll be watching you at the party tomorrow. Do it then. Break his heart. I’ll kill him then and there if you don’t.” She looked down at me and scoffed, “And I’ll be bringing friends to make sure the job gets done.”

I carefully opened my eyes to see her stepping over me, walking back into the darkness from which she came. I scrambled back into my house, hyperventilating from the interaction I just had.

I spent the night crying, not able to sleep even for a minute. I tried to think rationally, but there were just too many variables. How many ‘friends’ was she bringing? Would she really kill Yunho in front of everyone? Where would she be watching me from? Is she watching me now?

I could text or call Yunho to let him know, but where would we go from there? He’d want to meet me and she’d kill him instantly. Right?

“Maybe I could pull him aside at the party and warn him?” I murmured to myself, “No, she could probably see that. Maybe there’s people actually at the party who are looking out for us, too.” I covered my face with my hands and fell back into my pillows, weeping as I knew I had to break up with the love of my life.

-

Choosing to wear a yellow dress honestly couldn’t have been more ironic. Yellow was supposed to be a happy color. A color of hope and yearning, innocence and warm days full of laughter. It was the complete antithesis of how I felt and what I knew I had to do. Even worse, the weather was perfect. It was sunny, but not so much to make it unbearable outside. Everything about today made my insides twist.

I took a breath at the door of Yunho’s house, bracing myself for what I had to do. Knocking a few times I heard a commotion inside before the man I came to see opened the door. His smile had never been bigger.

“Baby!” He cheered, pulling me into a bear hug and ruffling my styled hair, “I’m so excited you’re here!”

He looks so ecstatic. And I have to break him.

The thought crushed me and brought tears to my eyes, but I couldn’t let him die. I knew she was serious, I didn’t doubt that for a moment. I grabbed Yunho’s arm, pulling him outside and away from everyone in the house.

I looked at the ground as I felt my lips begin to quiver, “I’m sorry. I just need to get this over with.”

Yunho bent down to meet my eyes, “Hey, hey. What’s going on sweetheart?” His voice was gentle, one of his hands coming to rub the tears from my face, “I’m here for you, whatever it is.”

I looked down, unable to look him in the eyes. I hated myself more than I’d ever hated anyone. “I don’t love you, Yunho.” My hands began to shake beyond my control, my own body knowing I was making a mistake.

“W-what?” Yunho’s voice cracked. A moment of silence passed before he let out a hollow laugh, “Baby, you don’t mean that-”

I looked up at him and immediately wished I hadn’t. Tears were welling in his eyes, his own hands beginning to shake.

“I said I don’t love you Yunho!” I said louder than I intended, “Not anymore. I don’t want to be with you. I’m sorry.”

He took a step back and I noticed his hands clenching, something he always did to keep himself from crying.

“If that’s what you want,” Tears fell from his eyes before he finished his sentence, “Then I’ll support your decision.” He looked to the side, not knowing what else to say.

I wanted nothing more than to throw myself in his arms and explain everything, tell him that I’ve never stopped loving him, not even for a second, but I couldn’t. Instead, I wiped away my tears with the back of my hand and looked at him one last time. He was so fucking handsome, so goddamn kind, and here I was doing this to him. Maybe he did deserve someone better.

“Good luck with your tour, Yunho. I know you’ll be fantastic.”

I turned and walked away from him quickly, leaving the house and ignoring the stare I could feel on me. I ran across the yard to my car, starting the engine and leaning my head against the steering wheel. I felt myself lose all oxygen in my body, the only option left to take large gasps of air. My vision was so clouded by tears I couldn’t even see anymore. I’d just lost myself along with my other half. I’d never felt as empty as I did in that moment.

Just then I heard a knocking on my window. I half-hardheartedly lifted my head and felt my heart lurch. Yunho was standing outside my car, eyes red and puffy, looking at me like I was the last person he’d ever see. I opened my car without thinking, my breathing still as uneven as before.

Yunho spoke, his voice coarse and distant, “I’m not asking you to change your mind, but I need you to know that I have always loved you and I always will. That will never change.”

I wiped the snot from my nose but didn’t bother to try and fix the mascara I knew was streaming down my face. I knew I had to look horrible, but he still held so much love for me that it was easy to see in his eyes. I fought myself to not reply, knowing that if I’d open my mouth all I’d say was ‘I love you’ over and over again.

“Is it too out of line to ask for a last hug?” He smiled sadly as more tears poured from his eyes.

I shook my head, running into his arms and embracing him. I felt like I made a mistake the moment I did because I could smell him. He was wearing the cologne I bought him for his birthday. His warm, sturdy chest...everything about him felt like home.

“Goodbye, Yunho.”

-

I arrived at home alone, tears still stinging my eyes. Tiff was nowhere to be found and I couldn’t decide if I was thankful or sad for the fact that she wasn’t there. I barely made it out to our porch before collapsing once again, finding it harder and harder to breathe. I didn’t know how long I was sitting there, it could’ve been one hour or three, but given the setting sun it looked like it was the latter. Once more I heard a noise outside our home, and once more the female figure appeared before me.

“You did good,” Lucy said, twirling her knife in her hands, “Dare I say I’m proud of you.”

“I don’t ever want to see you here again.” I cried, “I did what you want now get the fuck away from me.”

“My, my. You have quite the mouth on you, don’t you?” She tsked, “But you did as I asked, so I might as well comply. Don’t; however, think that you can go crawling back to Yunho and tell him about this. I’ll keep watching you and if you decide to do just that...I’ll follow through with my promise.”

I kept my eyes on the ground, convinced that if I looked up at her I’d attempt to rip the hair out of her head. No anger I had ever felt before could surmount to the rage I was feeling.

“Nonetheless, it was a pleasure doing business with you, miss.”

As soon as she came, she was gone. When I finally let myself look up, I could no longer see her, only darkness. Once again, I was alone.

-

Six months had passed since I broke up with Yunho and today officially made the third new date I’d went on. All of them were absolutely horrible. It wasn’t even that the guys were mean or rude or weren’t attractive, they just weren’t him.

Why am I even trying to move on?

I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes looked heavy, the bags under my eyes ever prominent. I couldn’t fool myself. I’d never be able to be with another man again. I forced myself to hold back tears and reached back to untie my hair, preparing to take a bath in hopes that it would take my mind off of things.

I began to run the warm water as I reached for several candles, lighting them and placing them around the room, trying to forget the entire day altogether. As I waited for the tub to fill I grabbed my phone, opening Instagram for no other reason than to have something to do. Although Yunho and I broke up, I still followed their band account, as well as their individual accounts. Seonghwa, San, and Wooyoung were still my friends, after all. Yunho was the only exception. Both of us unfollowed each other early on just because it was too painful. I didn’t hold it against him and hoped he didn’t hold it against me either.

Regardless, my eyes found the most recent post on Sidekick Heart’s account. All four members were shirtless, their hair dripping wet with goofy smiles plastered on their faces. They were standing by a pool, the same one Yunho and I would often break into. I noticed Yunho first, how could I not? His smile wasn’t as wide as the other’s, his eyes a bit colder, but he looked happy all the same. He looked good. Really, really good. He was always fit while we were dating, but he gained more muscle since I last saw him and it didn’t go unnoticed by their fans, either. I clicked the comment section against my better judgement, knowing what I was going to see before I even did so.

“Yunho looks like a fucking goddd”

“So Yunho’s still single right??”

“Yunhooo hmu I beg you”

“Jesus Christ Yunho break me please”

A surge of jealousy rushed through me. I hated when girls said those things when we were together, but now that we were apart it made it even worse. I had no right to be jealous, and that was the worst part.

The water reached my leg that was resting on the side of the tub and I scrambled to turn off the faucet. Doing my best to push the images from my mind I placed my phone aside and stripped from my clothes, settling in the water. I sighed as some water fell out of the side of the tub. It wasn’t a terrible thing to happen, but it seemed to just be another thing to go wrong.

My eyes wandered back to my phone, Instagram still open and the picture I was looking at earlier still on display. He was so fucking hot and seeing that he was standing next to that pool—our pool—made my brain short circuit. I couldn’t stop my thoughts from taking me back to the last night we broke in, the way we teased each other and how it inevitably led to sex. It seemed I had no control over my body as my dominant hand slipped between my legs.

But as much as I wanted it to be, it wasn’t the same. My fingers weren’t as long or slender as his and just nothing about our touches were the same, but the image of him just made my hormones rage. Every ounce of me craved him.

My fingers swirled around my clit, a bundle of pleasure shooting through me at the action. I closed my eyes, letting my body take over and repeat the motions and much as I fought not to, my brain kept replaying scenes of two of us again, and again, and again.

“Such a good girl, aren’t you?” Yunho spoke as I sunk down on his dick, barely finding the energy to lift myself up again even though the noises he made were like shots of espresso.

“Aww, is my baby getting tired?” He cooed, jerking his hips into mine.

“It’s not fair!” I whined, “I’m not good at this and you know it.”

“But we wouldn’t be a good couple if we didn’t encourage each other to work hard, right? Up you go, flower.”

I whimpered and pouted, but still obeyed him. Taking pity on me, Yunho grabbed my waist and lifted me, relaxing his grip as I moved downward. I made a noise that wasn’t understood by Yunho, but it didn’t go unnoticed.

“What was that?”

“Please. More. I need you so bad.” I begged.

Yunho laughed, “I really do have you wrapped around my finger, don’t I?”

I nodded before remembering that he’d probably prefer a verbal answer, “Yes. I’m w-wrapped around your finger.”

He let out a noise of satisfaction before flipping us over into a position so that he would have full control. I grabbed the bedsheets roughly, so much in my own world that I didn’t hear Yunho’s words.

“What was that?” I let out with a series of mewls.

“You’ve got me wrapped around your finger, too, you know? I don’t go an hour without thinking about you anymore. I can’t even have a single conversation without bringing you up. Anytime someone says your name my heart beats out of my damn chest. You’re the only woman for me.”

My legs shook as my high approached, barely able to breathe at it’s intensity. It took me a minute before I could even remember where I was. As I came to my senses, I felt tears biting at my eyes and this time I didn’t bother to hold them back. I watched as they streamed down my face and joined the now-cold water surrounding me. I brought my hands up to cover my eyes, glad Tiff wasn’t home to hear my wailing. She’d been good about staying with me since the breakup, but tonight she just wasn’t here. The hole in my heart felt even deeper now. I wondered if he found someone, if he was happy now. Hell, maybe it was his ex. The thought tore my heart out and ripped it in two. I wanted to be happy for him if it was true, but I just couldn’t be. I was still too selfish. I still wanted him to love only me.

-

 New friends, new beginnings or whatever.

That’s apparently what I thought when I began attending more clubs at college after the breakup, meeting new people and eventually finding a really solid friend group. All who happened to really like punk-rock music.

“You should really go with us,” Shang directed his words at me, “There’s a new band popping up that’s playing this weekend. It’s three hours away but they have great music.” 

I sighed, not fully convinced although it did sound fun. The last concert I’d been to was one of Yunho’s and though I hadn’t even seen him in what felt like forever, I still couldn’t help myself from thinking of him anytime someone talked about concerts. Sensing my apprehension, the woman beside me spoke up.

“Road trip! Road trip! Road trip!” Tyra chanted in my ear, her black curls bouncing with her as she clapped her hands between the words. “Come on, it would be so much fun and you know it.”

I bit my lip, deep in thought. I knew I would have fun but I just didn’t know if that would outweigh the pain I would feel.

“What’s the band name?” I asked, looking at Shang.

“Honestly?” He scratched the back of his head, “I was a little drunk when I told one of my friends I’d be there so I don’t even remember what they’re called.”

“How do you know they have great music, then?” I laughed, Tyra agreeing with me, apparently not knowing who was playing when she agreed either.

“I mean, my brother listens to their music and he’s got good music taste so they’ve gotta be good.”

I closed my eyes as I felt an oncoming headache, knowing they wouldn’t accept no as an answer. “Fuck it.” I stated, “I’ll go.”

The two cheered, Shang promising that I’d enjoy myself. I doubted it, truthfully, but really it was decided that I’d go the moment the pair brought the idea up to me.

-

Our trio waded through the giant crowd as the doors opened to let us into the venue. It was big, one of the larger concerts I’ve been to. Whoever we were seeing was successful, for sure. The volume at which everyone was speaking was essentially a yell, so I had to do just that to get my messages through.

“I still can’t believe we have no fucking idea who’s playing!” I yelled at Shang.

He laughed, “I got seats towards the front row, though! I didn’t even have to pay for them!”

“That’s not gonna matter if we don’t know any of the lyrics, you dipshit!” Tyra barked.

“Okay okay I should’ve asked, I get that now.”

As we found our way towards the seats, there was a big projector with the words ‘Sidekick Heart’ displayed across it. My heart dropped and I suddenly felt it become hard to breathe.

“You got us tickets to a Sidekick Heart concert?” Tyra beamed, “I love their music and I’m practically in love with San! His vocals are insane! Holy shit, Shang!”

“Ohhhh yeah I remember now.” He chuckled.

I seemed to fade into the background as the two of them discussed their love for the band and the members. All I could think about was seeing Yunho again.

Would he see me? How would he react if he does?...Does he hate me?

I only came back to reality when the audience began to cheer and I saw all the members step onto stage. Seonghwa cradled his electric guitar, in one arm, waving at the audience with the other. Wooyoung plopped down behind the drum set, smiling at the audience while twirling a drumstick. With his bass guitar, San, ever the king of expressions, gave his best smoulder to the audience and it seemed like the audience collectively screamed over him. Then came Yunho out to center stage, his electric guitar in his hands and a smirk on his face as if he knew everyone in the damn building wanted to fuck him. And he’d be right. The spotlights on each of them made them look like actual gods. If I didn’t know them personally I would have thought they were.

Yunho leaned into the mic, his gruff voice taking me by surprise, “Hello everyone! Great to see you all! If you haven’t been to one of our concerts before this is how it’s gonna work: You’re gonna dance, we’re gonna sing, we’re all gonna have a fucking great time tonight!”

The crowd erupted as the first song began to play. It was one of their more popular songs and for good reason. All over it was a really well put together song and I couldn’t help as I began to mouth along to the words. Song after song played, some I knew some I didn’t, and the entire time I couldn’t look away from the man singing. He radiated confidence and looked relaxed as if he’d been performing for decades. I knew he wasn’t as cool as he seemed, I’d given him so many pep talks before performances I couldn’t count them, but as an outsider you’d never know.

I wonder who talked him up this time?

“Alright everyone. This is the last song of the night and-”

The audience booed, everyone upset at the night coming to a close.

Yunho laughed. The sound was rich and beautiful. He was truly enjoying himself. This is what he was meant to do, with or without me. I closed my eyes, willing myself not to cry.

Yunho’s voice filled my ears. “I know, I know. I’d love to stay a bit longer, too. Here’s the thing though...” He paused and I opened my eyes only to see him looking back at me. His eyes automatically softened as they always did when he saw me, but as if he remembered how we ended his gaze hardened slightly, like he was trying to distance himself. It felt like we’d been looking at each other for hours before he opened his mouth to speak again, but I knew very well that my perception of time had been off for a while.

“Even if we only have this little time left, I’ve truly enjoyed the time we’ve spent together. The fact that it’s coming to an end soon is what makes it so special, I think.” Yunho broke eye contact with me, smiling slightly and glancing back out at the sea of people. “Seeing your smiling faces, your energetic cheers—all of it—is a reminder to me that we’re so lucky to be doing this as a job. Really...I love you all.”

The audience let out a chorus of ‘awws’ which was followed by several rather aggressive ‘I love you too’s.

The lead singer once more smiled, “Now, without further adieu, this is one of our newest songs and it’s called Brown Eyes, here it is.”

The music began to play, all instruments coming together to make a somber tune. Somehow they were always able to write music that perfectly encapsulated emotions or ideas. This one? Loss.

“Since you left you’re still so infused

In how I think and what I do

Can’t seem to get you to leave me alone

Your ghost stayed here and she watches my tears

That run down our picture frames”

Then he found me again in the crowd, no doubt able to see the tears staining my makeup, no doubt able to see how broken I was. And still, he sang.

“I’ve tried hard to fight it

Yet I keep givin’ in

There’s been no one but you

I’m trapped, confined

And your platinum smile still knocks me out

Every single time”

He kept eye contact with me, not once breaking his gaze. It was almost as if he wanted me to break first, as if he wanted me to look away before him. As if he was daring me to leave him again.

San stepped closer to his mic and took his eyes away from his bass guitar, Yunho’s voice being replaced by the purple-haired man. As his voice rang out I only could’ve hoped the next lyrics were about one of San ex’s, not me. Even if they weren’t, Yunho still looked at me.

“It’s not aimed at me 

Maybe it never was

But oh darling, you could’ve fooled me”

My eyes flickered down, unable to look at Yunho any longer. His gaze only broke my heart further and in turn I felt my eyes water. After a moment or two, I worked up the courage to look back at him. He was still looking at me like he never moved his eyes. I couldn’t seem to register the lyrics until Yunho began to sing again, his voice drawing me in as it always did.

“You've disappeared without a trace

Left an unsuspecting guise

Love, I need you to know

I’ve been losing far more than sleep

Over those deep chocolate eyes.”

As the song and the show ended and everyone in the crowd cheered, I felt a rush of emotions run through me. Thrilled that they’d become so successful, proud of them for putting on such an amazing show, and hurt because I could still see a sliver of sadness in Yunho’s eyes.

I hurt him.

Yunho then reluctantly said his goodbyes to the audience along with the rest of the members. His jaw tightened as he walked over to Wooyoung, whispering something in his ear before walking off stage. Feeling like I was set in a trance, I grabbed my Tyra’s arm and mumbled something about going to the bathroom before following him. I completely ignored her questions and concerns about where I was going, dead set on talking to him again even though I didn’t have a damn idea what I was going to say.

Somehow, through the giant maze of people, I was able to spot Yunho leaving through the backstage. Instinctively I ran towards him, still having no plan in mind. I only stopped when a purple-headed man appeared before me.

“Y/n!” He smiled, bringing me into a hug, “I missed you so much!” He pulled back from me, “We all did.”

Seonghwa and Wooyoung came from behind me, both wearing sad, kind smiles. They looked healthy and happy, which was all I could’ve asked for them.

“How’ve you been, girl?” Seonghwa cocked his head, genuinely curious.

I hesitated, not sure if I should tell them the truth. But at the end of the day, they were still my friends. “Not...great. If I’m being honest. I was kinda hoping I could talk to Yunho...if I could.”

They all shared a look I couldn’t understand.

Wooyoung spoke up, “We’re having a party at a friend’s house after this, you should come.”

I was surprised, still not fully understanding the situation.

San frowned, “I think it would be good for you two to talk. He didn’t tell us too much about what happened, but I’m sure you had a good reason. You were always so good to all of us.”

“I can text you the address if you’d like,” Wooyoung added, “You still have the same number?”

I nodded.

“Okay, good. We need to get back but we’ll see you there. Take care, okay?”

“I will. Thanks guys.”

San pulled me in for another hug, “Of course.”

They waved as we parted ways and for the first time that night, I felt hopeful. I spotted Shang and Tyra and ran up to them, no doubt a smile on my face as I asked, “Soo...you guys up for a party?”

-

I ditched my friends the moment we arrived, barely even sparing a word with Seonghwa, San, and Wooyoung once they nudged me in the direction of Yunho. I didn’t try to think too much about it, knowing I’d explain it all to them later.

He was standing in an empty bedroom, looking at the floor and sipping out of a red cup which likely contained liquor. When his eyes met mine a rush of memories flooded back to me. The first time we kissed, the first time he confessed he loved me, the first time he saw me cry.

The first time I broke his heart.

His eyes raised to mine, his face stoic, “Enjoy the show?”

My mouth opened and closed, not having any clue what to say to him, “Yunho I-”

“I know why you did it.” He said suddenly, “A week after you left me Lucy showed up to one of our shows and tried to convince me it was all a coincidence. Said that I could finally be with her. When I didn’t buy it she finally gave in and told me she convinced you we were better apart. So naturally I called the cops and they arrested her for breaking the restraining order, thank god.” He shook his head, looking disgusted, “You know I never wanted us to be apart. My question to you,” he took a step further towards me, “is why did you do it? Why did you end us?”

When I couldn’t seem to respond he talked once more, “You could’ve told me what she was trying to do. We could’ve worked it out together.” He looked more disappointed and heartbroken rather than angry.

He doesn’t deserve this. He doesn’t deserve any of this.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Yunho.” I bit my tongue as I fought back tears, “I’m not asking for you to forgive me. I-I’m just-” I sobbed, “Lucy told me she would kill you if I kept dating you.”

Yunho’s mouth shut and eyes widened, clearly missing that bit of information. I took it as my cue to continue “I don’t know why she did it, but it’s probably because we were happy.”

More tears fell down my face and it became harder for me to talk, but I owed him the truth. I had to tell him the truth. I looked up at him but because of my tears my vision was blurred. Yunho’s hands were tightening into fists as he looked away from me.

“I couldn’t tell you because I had to protect you so I had to make you hate me and I’m just so sorry.” I fell to the ground, my body feeling as heavy as my heart.

I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and I brought my eyes to meet his own, “I’m sorry.” A tear streamed down his cheek, heavy remorse in his eyes, “God she’s fucking awful.”

A laugh got caught in my throat, “Yeah she is.”

He set his cup down somewhere along the way a his hands cupped my face, finally whispering the words I’d only heard in dreams, “I still love you so fucking much. I never stopped loving you. I never even tried to stop because I know I couldn’t.”

I jumped into his arms and kissed him hard, unintentionally knocking him to the floor. He met my lips with just as much fire, groaning when I unconsciously bucked my hips into his, all my sexual frustration still pent up.

“I missed you so fucking much.” Yunho growled, obviously feeling needy too but deciding against it as he wrapped his arms around my waist, speaking in between kisses, “I missed your cute laugh. I missed your lips. I missed your fucking awful jokes. I missed the way you’d look at me whenever you told me you loved me. I missed your gorgeous body and your smile. I missed your moans and the way you arched your back when we’d have sex. I missed how alive you made me feel.” He pulled back to look at me, “My life had no purpose without you.”

I took a breath, tears once more falling, “Mine didn’t either.” It wasn’t anything profound or emotional, but it was the truth. It didn’t.

Gently picking me up, he placed me on the bed. His eyes were raw, as emotional as they could ever be. Taking my hands in his, he looked at me as if I would disappear at any minute.

“Stay with me. Come with us on the rest of the tour. If you can’t take a vacation we’ll hire you as an assistant. If you can’t do that we’ll make some other kind of accommodation. Just stay, please. Please be mine again.”

I looked at the man in front of me. The tough-looking, six-foot tall, tattooed, strong man that could probably scare the shit out of anyone. Yet here he was, bearing his heart to me and being as vulnerable as a person could be.

I smiled, feeling my heart swell. “I’ve only ever been yours.”

-

The morning was bright, lighting directly hitting my eyes. I cursed myself for not closing the blinds the night before and blinked off my sleep when I heard a familiar pleasant sound.

Jumping down from the bed I put on the new fluffy bathrobe my lover bought me. I followed Yunho’s voice out to my porch, realizing I was listening to a new song of his. The man was strumming a guitar, a beautiful melody falling from his lips. When he noticed me, he smiled and continued to sing.

“I’m in a vivid yellow mood

You’re my muse, my home and room

And now that I have you again

What could I ever fear?

Oh do me a favor, dear

And inscribe your name on my sleeve

Let me keep it there forever

Because you’re better than any daydream.”

As many of you know, my blog contains both sfw and nsfw content. I don’t mind if minors interact with my sfw content, because obviously there is no sexual content within it. Knowing that there are legal ramifications for both parties, I’d like to ask minors to please not interact with my nsfw content. I always clarify which category my writing will fall into, so refer to that. Please be considerate of this, thank you.

why do yall act like 17 yr olds dont have sexual thoughts? idk who that post was abt but like i remember being 17 and it was no different than being 18

bruh have sexual thoughts all you want but keep them to yourself tf 😭 i’m not reading smut written by a minor about literal fucking adults, that’s so weird and uncomfortable. legally you’re still recognised as a child and all your content is doing is promoting child p*rn - is writing smut about an underaged idol okay?? no? then why is it different when it’s a minor writing smut about full grown ass men? make it make sense

💞 send this to ten bloggers you think are wonderful! keep the game going 💞

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It took me wayyy too long to respond to this but thank you for tagging me ily 🥺

So my favorites are Favorite Place, All For You, and Just What The Doctor Ordered. Favorite Place is the first “bad boy” fic that I wrote and I honestly had so much fun with it. It’s based on Hongjoong and inspired by his cover of Numb bc he looks 🔥🔥 in that video. All for you is a fluff fic for Seonghwa and it’s just so wholesome and domestic and I love it. Just What The Doctor Ordered was a spur-of-the-moment fic for me and I really ended up liking how it turned out. It’s one of my most liked fics right now and it makes me so happy to see people enjoy it.

My least favorite is probably The Blossom Festival. It was the second fic I wrote and it’s just so cringy to me I can’t even go back and read it. I’ve considered deleting it and re-writing it a billion times and I think I’m going to soon. I’m not even gonna link it because of how much it makes me cringe. But! It shows that I’ve made progress so I try not to hate it too much

tagging (no pressure!!) : @onceonafullmoon​ @cappujinho @yeochikin @masterninjacow

OK QUESTION TO MY FIC WRITER MOOTS (u dont have to answer if you’re uncomfortable)

Which of your own fics do you like and dislike the most and why???

For me, I really enjoyed writing my oneshot fic This Town and its prequel. Partly because I had that idea for a separate story I was planning to write and mainly because I love angst <3 hehe I just feel like it had the “we couldn’t fulfill our promises not because we wanted to, but because it was out of our control” vibe ok wait i like that line + for me, it felt like Up’s Ellie and Carl except that they didn’t grow old together dndjsjsk

The fic I disliked the most would probably have to be Self-Service 😭✋🏻 UHHH that’s kinda around the time I got a slump and it kinda went downhill from there. I had that idea around my first few days here on Tumblr and I fell out of love with it while writing. Dhdjejsk ngl i also have icky feelings about my latest fic??? Had a slump by part two so yea

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Tagging my moots because I want to know theirs: @railmeharrypotter @mendesxruel @hey-there-angels @helleli @hellohellook @hellounicorn @sfdlm @holden-caulfield + anyone else who wants to do this