Breakup - Tumblr Posts
Echoes of the past
_1_
From hearing your nickname every day,
To nearly forgetting what you’d say;
From praying to see you every day,
To wishing I had never met you anyway;
Years have passed, and days have changed,
Yet here I am, still feeling estranged,
In the clutches of an old love’s bind,
Hoping for peace I cannot find.
~m.
Echoes of past
_2_
You asked me why I write, and I smiled that day,
Dodging your question in a playful way;
Now flipping through pages down the lane,
I write to feel your gaze again,
The way you stared on a random day,
Years back, when all felt okay.
~m.
Recover After Me
Ethan Landry x fem!reader
Summary: Ethan breaks up with his girlfriend to protect her from ghostface and his family’s plan of revenge, but it ends up hurting her more than he thought.
Warnings: Drinking, Breakup, Fights, Angst, Not proof read (That’s all I can think of)
Word Count: 2.4k
5 months. It had been 5 months since he broke up with you. 5 months with no sleep, 5 months feeling...nothing. To say you missed him was an understatement, you needed him back. You could feel the tightness in your throat as your mind drifted to your boyfriend...ex-boyfriend once again. You didn’t understand how your sweet dorky boy could be so cruel.
Trying to forget him you had found yourself at a party. A frat party. If Ethan saw what kind of person you are now he would be so disappointed. But screw him. He was the one who hurt you, not the other way around.
His reasoning was stupid too. You were sure it was just an excuse to get away from you. Ethan said he was starting to lose feeling and it just wasn’t working out for either of you, but that was a lie. You were so happy with him, so happy. It felt like you were flying when he was with you. Everything was perfect on your end. So why did he so abruptly lose “feelings.”
It hurts when you need someone so much your heart clenches. But the sad truth is that Ethan didn’t need you, not anymore anyways.
Downing another shot of alcohol you stumbled onto the dance floor.
Gosh, you were wasted.
Little did you know Ethan did see you. He came to the party with Chad, Mindy, and her girlfriend.
He watched as you downed another shot glass. He saw how you danced on the dance floor. You were so drunk, but you were still so beautiful.
The short black dress you were wearing accentuated your body and the minimal makeup you had on only reflected your natural beauty.
He was mesmerized.
Ethan was so lost in thought he drowned out the sound of Chad’s voice. The other boy who was pissed by being ignored snapped his fingers in Ethan’s face.
“Earth to Ethan?” “Hello there is anyone home?” Chad questioned again as he lightly knocked his knuckles on Ethan’s head.
Ethan came out of his daze after all of Chad’s attempts.
“Yeah?” He asked, “What’s up with you?”
Chad rolled his eyes, “What’s up with me? Man, what’s up with you?” You’ve been drooling over Y/n for like 10 minutes straight.”
Ethan turned to Chad and crossed his arms, “I have not!” He defended with a huff.
“Umm yeah man, you have,” Chad states.
“He’s right, you have been,” Mindy adds.
“Thanks a lot, Mindy,” Ethan says in annoyance.
But Ethan can’t help staring at you. Not when you are were his girl, and you were right there. Ten feet in front of him was his Y/n/n. Gosh did he mess up. When he forced himself to tear his eyes away from you to look to Chad and try to understand something he was going on about, he miss the brightness of your sweet smile. Ethan turned back to look into those beautiful e/c eyes, but to his dismay, you were gone.
Ethan looked to every corner of the room but he couldn’t spot you. So he turned back to Chad and Mindy.
He didn’t know how much longer he stayed at that party but he was starting to get tired. Ethan felt his eyes getting heavier and his body getting more sleepy. He was about to pass out on the couch, but in an instant he was up again, dashing to the exit.
You had texted him. For the first time in 5 months, you had texted him. Ethan would kill someone to get to you at this moment. He rushed out the front door and into his car in a hurry to get to you.
Swaying against some stranger at a different party, you had pushed him off when he started to get too handsy. Making your way to the drinks, you downed another cup of beer. You had pulled out your phone and scrolled through a few contacts before drunkenly choosing a random one.
hye can yoq pick me op i heear
You texted the person.
At this moment Ethan was so grateful that you forgot to turn off your location as he drove to pick up his incredibly drunk ex-girlfriend.
When he got to the house where the party was held he quickly exited his car and locked it before making his way into the swarm of bodies.
He was fighting through the crowd when he recognized Marcus, a guy from his econ class calling for him. Ethan turned to him, in hopes Marcus would know where you are.
“What’s up, Landry? You look like you’re in a hurry.” Marcus said.
“Hey Marc, I am. I’m actually looking for Y/n, she texted me to pick her up. Do you uh, know where she is?” Ethan asked, sounding a little too giddy for Marcus’ liking.
“Yeah, I saw her right over- oh, she’s not there anymore, but she was right there dancing with Hayden.”
Ethan glanced in the direction where Marcus was pointing but like Marcus said you weren’t there anymore.
“Hey Ethan, have you heard about all that crazy stuff about a killer on the loose, you know, the one who wears that ghostface costume?” Marcus inquired.
Ethan spun around back to Marcus in an instant.
“What did you say Marc?” He asked, eyes darkening slightly.
Did Marcus know something about him and his family’s plan to get revenge on the Carpenter sisters?
“Chill out dude, I was just asking, cause you know, your girl just disappeared,” Marcus said with a shrug of his shoulders.
Ethan clenched his jaw before turning back to the mass of bodies to find you.
“Oh come on man, don’t get all worked up. Come and have a drink. I know Jacob is looking for a beer pong partner, you should play and loosen up a bit.”
“Not interested,” Ethan grumbled before resuming his search for you.
By now Ethan had been looking for you for twenty minutes. Despite all his efforts, he couldn’t find you. He had even texted you, but no, that was to no avail. That was until he heard chanting coming from the backyard.
Ethan quickly followed the sound and soon saw the girl he had been looking for. But when he saw what was happening his jaw clenched so hard he thought it would break.
There you were, racing against another person that Ethan didn’t know to finish your three shots of alcohol. Your hair was held back by another guy. Hayden Sommers. Ethan was so protective of you, and you knew it. When another guy approached you who had that certain glint in their eye Ethan instantly would know and that kind, sweet, dorky boy would vanish, replaced but a boy who would start fights over you and glare at anyone who would approach you. That’s the Ethan that took over right now.
Hayden was holding your hair as you finished your last shot. His hands trailed down your body as you laughed victoriously.
You turned him and drunkenly planted a kiss on his lips. Hayden smirked at you before reciprocating the kiss as he pulled your hips closer to him.
This was the final straw for Ethan. Even though you were broken up he had never seen another guy kiss you before. And this made him go feral. Ethan snapped as he tackled Hayden to the ground and punched him repeatedly.
Hayden tried to fight back but Ethan was stronger.
“Don’t you ever lay your hands on her again!” Ethan yelled at the boy.
“Get off of me!” Hayden yelled back. “I didn’t do anything to her I swear!” He said as Ethan’s fist collided with his face.
The sound of a quiet sob halted Ethan’s movements. He turned over to look at you, but you were standing there with a lost look and a stray tear dripping down your cheek.
“Stop it Eth, please stop,” You sobbed as you pulled at his hand.
Ethan melted at your words. He got off Hayden and stood up to wipe the tear from your face.
“What’s wrong sweet girl?” He asked kindly, demeanor opposite from the one he had just shown.
“Don’t want you to hurt him,” You hiccuped.
“Baby, he didn’t have good intentions, you’re drunk, he was gonna take advantage of that,” He spoke softly as he smoothed your messy hair.
“Don’t call me that!” You said as you swatted his hand away from you.
“Okay, okay” Ethan said, hands up in surrender. “how ‘bout I drive you home and you go to bed nice and safe? Doesn’t that sound nice?” Ethan asked.
“Later, I wanna go find Lizzy and Tara,” You told him as you swayed back into the house.
“Y/n wait!” Ethan called, but you were already inside.
It took Ethan another ten minutes to sort through the bodies of college students and find you. This time you were laughing with Tara and your other friend Lizzy.
“I don’t know what to do,” you told your friends, “I don’t want to love him anymore but I miss him. He was so mean when he broke up with me, but I miss everything about him.” You vented to the girls
“Y/n honey,” Lizzy tried, spotting Ethan at the other side of the room.
You ignored her as you continued, “Like I miss the way he would take care of me, and his nicknames for me, and his bright brown eyes, and his arms, and his hands. He is so good with his hands,” You leaned back and rolled your eyes back at the memory.
Tara laughed as she shook her head, “Y/n stoppp that’s too much information!”
“What it’s true?” you shrugged your shoulders and continued again, “He made me feel so good. Everyone thinks he’s all shy and quiet, but he is defiantly isn’t in bed.” You fake moaned. As your friends covered their ears jokingly and giggled with you.
“Y/n you’re so drunk, you’re gonna hate yourself in the morning.” Lizzy giggled again.
As your mouth was suddenly covered by a hand, Tara’s hand as you looked behind you where her focus was captured. Tara’s hand fell from your mouth.
“Oh hi, Eth!” You squealed happily, we were just talking about you,” you stumbled as you tried to stand up. Ethan’s hands came around your waist to study you as you tried to regain your footing.
“Oh, I heard,” He said making the girls widen their eyes and look towards you.
“Really?” You questioned, looking up at him with puppy dog eyes.
“I did,” He confirmed.
Your friend’s faces went pale as you continued to laugh.
Ethan shook his head with a smile on his face, “You are quite the character Y/n.”
“Is that good or bad?” You asked him with sweet innocence on your features.
“Mmm, what do you want it to be?” He asked you, smile still adorning his lips.
“Good!” you exclaimed.
“Okay, well in that case it means something good,”
“Yay!” you laughed again.
Ethan found your drunken state adorable, you looked like a lost puppy and smiled like an angel. He missed you so much, it physically hurt.
“Well, as much fun as this has been it’s almost 1:30 am and I need to get you home,” Ethan said to you in a kind voice.
“Why?’ You asked him.
“Because you texted me to come get you Y/n?”
“I did?” You questioned.
“Yes, you did, so come on as much as I love this adorable state you’re in, you are going to have the worst hangover of your life tomorrow morning, so we better get going.” Ethan said.
Another hiccup came from you, “Okay, bye Lizzy and Tara!” You called.
“Y/n are you sure you’re gonna be okay leaving with him?” Tara asked, worried.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine!” You called before turning to Ethan, and folding your hand into his.
After making your way to his car where he drove you to your apartment he helped you out of the car and into your room. He closed his eyes as he reach for your pajamas before helping you into them.
Ethan had help you put on your pajamas, but without the use of his eyes they ended up being backwards, which of course you didn’t care about.
You pulled at his sleve once you were in bed. “Come Eth,” You drowsily mumbled.
“I can’t Y/n/n,” He whispered sweetly.
“Why not?” You asked as you traced his arm with your fingertips.
“I-I’m not your boyfriend anymore,” Ethan said, voice shaky.
“Why aren’t you my boyfriend anymore?” You asked him after a moment of silence.
Ethan debated telling you the truth, but soon realized with the amount of alcohol you had, you wouldn’t remember anything in the morning.
“I messed up bab-...Y/n. I was trying to protect you from me and my family, from what we have done, what we are going to do, but instead of protecting you I hurt you.” His voice cracked as he told you the truth.
“I’m sorry, Y/n, I’m so sorry for hurting you.” Ethan apologized as a single tear fell down his face.
You reached your finger to brush off the tear as you wrapped your arms around his waist, “It’s okay Ethan, I forgive you.” You whispered, “Don’t worry it’s going to be okay.” You cooed.
Ethan enveloped you in his arms, “I miss you so much,”
You rubbed your thumb over his cheek, “I miss you too.”
Ethan watched as you soon drifted off to sleep. He watched you snuggle into your blankets. Ethan sighed as he poured a glass of water for you and took out an Advil for the pain. He left both at your bedside table.
He brushed your hair out of your face, before pressing a light kiss on your forehead.
Making his way to your door he glanced over your small form one last time.
“I love you,” He whispered, before closing the door and making his way out of your apartment.
Hey
I know it's been awhile since I've posted. I've just had a lot going on. My boyfriend left me and after awhile I dated someone else. Let's call him Jasper. Well I let Jasper in and told him stuff. In return he decided to break up with me before we even made it to 2 months. I know that doesn't seem like a long time. The truth is one can get very attached to someone in a very short amount of time. I still care about Jasper a lot I just don't think he feels the same anymore.
At some point it feels like I stopped being treated as human with mental illnesses and started being treated like an ordeal that you went through.
At some point it feels like I stopped being treated as human with mental illnesses and started being treated like an ordeal that you went through.
My ex best friend literally thought it was “cute” that her boyfriend got jealous when she talked to her guy friends, and when she first told me that, I immediately told her that was a red flag. Well guess why they broke up? Because of his jealousy. And then they decided to get back together three days later even though he was moving away in a month and they wouldn’t be trying long distance. Her whole identity and self-confidence hinged on that relationship and I honestly found it all so pathetic.
This is why I don’t trust straight relationships.
Do I have to wake?
Atleast in my dreams, you love me back.
why— of all people— did it have to be you who broke me?
the complicated thing is that even though i never want to talk to you again, i still have so much i want to say.
i’m scared of the songs that remind me of you and the memories they elicit
tell me why you’re still on my mind
every so often, i forget to hate you. and when that happens, i fall right back in love.
even when my mind has forgotten, my heart could not let you go
you— so easily—
put out the forest fire
that ignited in my heart
when you stepped inside
and each time it tried
to burst aflame again
you didn’t hesitate
to throw dirt on it
and bury me beneath
haven’t been on in a while but wanted to check in and say, MEN ARE WHORES.
Nicotine | Aizawa Shota x Reader
Summary ~ When you started dating Shota, you knew what you were signing up for. What you didn’t expect to happen was for everything between you both to come crumbling down, leaving you pinned beneath the rubble and Shota not even realizing it.
Tags/Warnings ~ Minors DNI, NSFW content, Inspired by Nicotine by Panic at the Disco, hurt no comfort, angst, failed relationship, past relationship neglect, cursing, break up, sad ending, use of Y/N
Note ~ Hey Lovelies, I wrote this one night when I was craving some angst, lol. I did include some of the lyrics from Nicotine, sorry if it's cringe. Anyway, hope y'all enjoy the read? It is very angst forward so.. I don't know.. trigger warning..? Love and appreciate you, Lovelies! <3
You had shown up to his apartment not long after he called..
Again.
As soon as you were through the door, the two of you had dove right into sloppily making out and pawing off each other’s clothing..
Again.
You two had taken your heaving chests, kiss bitten lips, panted moans, and lust heated bodies straight to his bedroom without having a proper conversation beforehand..
Again!
You let out a loud moan, your orgasm taking over your mind, as Shota gives one last thrust and groans into your mouth in one last open-mouthed sloppy kiss as he cums. He stays on top of you for a moment, lazily making out with you, before he slowly pulls out and flops onto his back next to you.
As you both lay there panting and coming down from your highs you close your eyes. Shota slowly gets up, tying off the condom and heading to the bathroom to throw it away and clean himself up.
The post-orgasm clarity hits you and the feeling of disappointment fills you as you sit up. You let out a heavy sigh as you rub your hands over your still flushed face and swing your legs over the side of the bed. Your eyes scan the floor for your clothes, more negative and heavy emotions stacking themselves on top of the disappointment. Collecting your clothes from off of the floor, you start to get dressed.
“What are you doing?” Shota asks from the doorway of the bathroom, startling you a bit.
You don’t turn around to face him because you know that his face is either it’s usual tired disinterest or it’s occasional tired confusion.
“I’m getting dressed.” You state, attempting to make your tone blank and void of emotion.
“That much was obvious, (Y/N). Why are you getting dressed?” He says, his tone slightly more irritated than normal.
“This was a mistake, Shota.” You bite out, already feeling the sting of tears in your eyes.
You feel the bed dip behind you and hear Shota let out an exasperated breath as he sits down heavily.
“You said that the last three times we.. did this. I don’t understand what the problem i-”
“The problem is that we are stuck in this horrible on and off situation, Shota. I.. I can’t do it anymore..” You say, cutting him off and trying so desperately to keep your tone controlled and even.
“The only reason we’re ‘on and off’ is because you thought that being with a Pro Hero who also teaches full-time would be a walk in the fucking park, (Y/N).” Shota angrily spits, both of you still sitting with your backs facing each other.
A bitter rage floods your body and you lose the will to hold back any longer, “I never thought that, Shota! I knew it would be difficult but I was ready to put in the effort required to make it fucking work! I poured so much effort int-”
“I did, t-” Shota’s raised voice cut you off but you only let him get those couple of words out before doing the same.
“In the beginning you did, yes! But where did it go, Shota?!” You yell, turning around to face him.
“(Y/N)..” He growls out but you don’t let him get any further, once again, as everything that you’ve been trying to bury bubbles out of you.
“It’s been a year since our last date! A fucking year! All we do anymore is sleep, fuck, and go to work! I can barely remember the last meal we shared together! I fucking understood what it was that I had signed up for but it got to a point where I didn’t even feel like we were in a relationship anymore!” You continue yelling, your whole body heated from anger and tears streaming down your face.
“Y- you’re.. You’re worse than nicotine, Shota! I keep telling myself ‘one more hit and then we’re through’ but I can’t fucking stay away from you! It’s like I can constantly taste you on my lips and I can’t get rid of you! Every single day, whether I’m with or without you, fucking hurts!” Your yells crumble into choked sobs and you bury your face into your hands.
Shota is standing across from you, the bed between you both, just staring at you in silence. His eyes are the slightest bit shiny, his face is scrunched up as if he is in pain, and it’s the most emotion that you’ve seen on his face in a year. His mouth opens and closes a few times but no words come out. You compose yourself enough to look up at him with a heated glare.
“Did you even love me back the same way I loved you, Shota?” You ask bitterly. You’re met with more silence and nod your head with a dry, humorless chuckle.
“We’re done for real this time, Aizawa. Don’t fucking call me again.” You spit out as you gather the rest of your stuff and make your way out of his apartment.
You sit in your car for a few minutes screaming and choking on hard sobs over the pain of your heart shattering. “This was the last fucking time!! I fucking swear it!!” You scream at your steering wheel, praying to any and every higher power that may be out there to give you the strength to resist getting one more fucking hit.
Note ~ Someone please tell me that I am not the only one who will actively seek out angst, sometimes.. Is it healthy? Probably not. Will I continue to look for or write angst? Yes. Anyways, thank you all so much for the love! My amazing Lovelies, I love and appreciate all of you! <3