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fictional characters can kill as many people as they want but it’s illegal for them to be annoying hope this helps

Black Friday is such a joke nowadays. “Don’t miss out on 30% off” don’t piss me the fuck off. People used to hit each other over the head for a microwave that’s how low the prices were. People literally died. We used to be a country

Don’t try to learn to sew so you can make things for renfair. Don’t do it. Cus you’ll sew your third tabard and it will be looking good so you will think maybe you can try something more advanced and you will try a bard hat inspired little cap and it will absolutely pummel you to the depths of despair cus you can’t do math and the videos you watch to help all assemble portions of the hats off camera and you don’t have a printer to buy a pattern and you will crumble into an adhd frustration puddle of anger and tanked self esteem and you will cry and not enjoy the hobby you’re trying to do to relax and be silly. Send tweet.

Love the way Pyrrha will not shut up about how she boinked Gideon's mom. It's like. The perfect joke. Irreverent, crass, tastless, homosexual, and if you take it just far enough.... not funny anymore. Take it seriously for just two seconds, and it punches you in the gut to realise that what Pyrrha is saying, under the jokes, is that she wanted to be someone in Gideon's life.

And that Gideon hates her for it.

monstrous divinity / divine monstrosity

I'm loving elliania's energy in F&F lol. She exposes the farseers generation long family secrets in front of the whole court because she's done with their bullshit. She's best friends with Nettle. You can count on her to give the most violent solution to a problem. She's mourning for bee like a mother wolf for her cub. If it was up to her, she would send whole armies to pull down clerres. She tells fitz to bring back a kerchief soaked in his enemies blood so she may bury them in her homeland and their souls never know peace. Fitz is convinced that if he lets her and beloved get into an alliance it will explode clerres and maybe the world. And I for one would love to see that happen.

happy 1st of october now where's the anne of green gables quote

Well, now I ship Colin and Alice. I also have multiple one liners I’m going to put into heavy circulation.

then you have nothing at all

Burn this damn road allready

I know Abigail saying Ianthe was "never quite the thing" is probably meant to reference some kind of political beef between them, but I just have this mental image of 14 year old Abigail being handed baby Ianthe at whatever the evil necromancer equivalent of a christening party is and just immediately deciding that this baby's vibes were weird.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

WHO IS USING THIS

AN APP??? THEY HAVE A FUNCTIONING WEBSITE

THE LAST FUNCTIONING WEBSITE

me, vibrating out of my skin : hey can I talk to you about this piece of media real quick? I pinky promise I'll be So Normal about it, like there's no reason to be concerned that this will turn into a three hour long monologue. Like I Prommy that I'm not gonna be a freak about it.

literary analysis being posited as this boring grueling penance that only miserable people insist on is very dumb as an idea but its even more dumb to me, the guy who gets so excited about it that he has to clap and pound his fists against the ground and walk in circles at a dizzying speed unbeknownst to man

So like, I would never WANT Magnus to get ate, but I would also love to see Abigail as a lyctor meeting Mercy and Augustine, and the saint of duty (who I won’t name cus bestie is still reading harrow.)

Like I know the power dynamics between gen 1 and gen 2 lyctors are from their literal ages, but I also truly think it’s from their perceived ages. Like Mercy looks late thirties and talks down to Ianthe and Harrow cus they are infants. What would happen if Abigail mother fucking Pent mobbed up ya know? How would Mercy handle that? Also would love to see Abigail and Augustine talk about the fifth. And for her to dunk on Jod and debunk all his bullshit. Plus she’d for sure clock the saint of duty and his best bud cus she’s observant af and pays attention to details nobody expects.

Basically Abigail Pent is my hero. Bye.

you actually don't have to go on dating apps to find girlfriends. many beautiful women are waiting for you on rocks out at sea

there’s actually no way robin hobb wrote “He swung his pale eyes to meet mine, the gold of them mirroring the firelight. Light ran up his cheekbones and dwindled as it merged with his hair. I gave my head a small shake. “In the space of a sundown, you show me the wide world from a horse’s back, and the soul of the world within my own walls.”” sat back, and went, ah perfect, my heterosexual fitz agenda lives another day

what the fuck makes phone apps so cocky as to send me notifications telling me to use it. my grocery list app straight up went "you havent made a list in a while! 🙂" are you out of your fucking mind. you are a program. why are you speaking to me like youre my equal. i could replace you with a pen and the back of a receipt. idiot. i kill you now

Sir a second Bouchard has hit the office managerial position

do you think that a certain genre of queer person is so obsessively weird about pride flag discourse becuase their flags fill the gaping hole in their personality where a hogwarts house used to be

Reading The Locked Tomb series at the recommendation of my friends, just finished Act I of Gideon the Ninth, and I just

You know which Americans aren’t losing their minds over the “British people not rinsing their dishes after scrubbing them and just dunking them in anti-microbial solution” discourse online rn?

Literally anybody who has ever worked in food service anywhere ever. If it’s not like a full service kitchen with a dishpit and industrial dish washing machine you’re gonna get the standard: Spray all the stuff off the dish, scrub in hot soapy water, dunk in sanitizer, put it on the drying rack.

Vague finale spoilers below.

You can literally never trust a Boy Mom.