The Longer That You Stay, The Ice Is Melting (Jake Seresin X Fem!Reader)

The longer that you stay, the ice is melting (Jake Seresin x fem!Reader)

Summary: Some people called you heartless or cold, but you were just trying to protect yourself. And then Jake Seresin knocked down the walls you so carefully built.

Warnings: swearing, fluff, feelings (lots of them), little bit of smut, it's just thigh riding, allusions to more smutty times, and angst, angst, angst, mentions of shitty families and trust issues (have you noticed that I absolutely cannot write non-dysfunctional families??), Phoenix and Rooster being the most amazing friends, some flashbacks in italics. The reader's callsign is Viper (let's ignore canon and pretend there was no one with that callsign in either of the movies) because it fits her. Did I mention angst? Idk, the ending kinda feels off so I might make a part two.

A/N: AND THE PAIN FEELS OKAY, IT FEELS OKAAAYEEEAAYY. Except it doesn't.

You mean to tell me I finally finished this thing, after 3 months?! Just to let everyone know, I'm writing a TGM mob AU, here's the masterlist, the taglist is on there too! Posting the first chapters this weekend. And on that note, if you like Jake Seresin fics, @whatislovevavy has an amazing series that is a must read! Seriously, it's so underrated but so good. The smut is so yummy, the tension made me feel all tingly. Can't get enough of it.

Reminder to change your content preferences so you can see smut even when our fics get community labels :).

Wordcount: 10K

You said goodbye to Phoenix, turning to walk in the opposite direction. The whole squad went to Hard Deck for a few drinks after a long, tiring week and it was time to go home. You were enjoying the quiet and peace when you heard footsteps coming your way from behind you.

You turned your head, spotting Hangman. It felt like all of the happiness you’ve felt until now was drained out of your body.

It wasn’t like you hated him, you definitely wouldn’t say that. You just thought he was an arrogant asshole and you’d rather swallow a box full of razors than be alone with him for more than 5 minutes.

He was hot to look at, but the second he opened his mouth, that magic was over.

“Y/L/N.” The way your name sounded coming out of his mouth…you wanted to throw up from his voice alone.

“Seresin.” you said cautiously, turning back around and continuing to walk. Why did you have the feeling he was following you?

It’s because he was.

He caught up with you, standing in your way to stop you from walking. You tried to walk around him, but he blocked you. “I was wondering…” You definitely weren’t interested in what was going on in Jake Seresin’s head, but you wouldn’t get rid of him until he told you anyway. “Tomorrow. You, me, some good Chinese take out?” he asked, looking at you with a grin, a toothpick in his mouth.

You kind of hoped he’d choke on it.

Your brows furrowed, looking him up and down, trying to find where he was getting all this audacity from. “Is that the best you’ve got?” you asked, annoyed. “Because if so, you’re pathetic.”

His grin fell and you tried to commit that look on his face to your memory. You loved destroying men’s egos.

“Step up your game, Hangman.” you yelled after him as you walked away.

Jake scoffed, biting down on the toothpick. “Oh, I’m going step up my game so good, you’re going to fall in love with me.” he promised into the night, even though you couldn’t hear him anymore.

And in the next few days, he did just that.

You found it weird. It’s not that Hangman never tried to talk to you or flirt with you before. He was notorious for that.

But he definitely never followed you like a lost puppy everywhere. It seemed you couldn’t get away from him, like he was glued to you. It was annoying.

Jake walked up to you as you stood in the hangar waiting for Phoenix, his hands behind his back. There was a smile present on his lips and you sighed. What did you ever do to be punished like this?

“So, since the Chinese wasn’t good enough for you-“

You didn’t even let him finish the sentence, already fed up with him. “It wasn’t about the Chinese, it was you.”

But he didn’t falter. “I have a better suggestion.”

“Can’t wait to hear it.” you mumbled under your breath sarcastically, knowing there was no way you were getting any peace from him.

“Museum of art?” Your head snapped to his, brows furrowed. “I know you love art.”

You had no idea how he knew that, but it didn’t matter. “You’re right, I do. But I’m still not going with you.” You started walking away from him and over to Rooster, looking back one last time. “Give up.”

He shook his head with a grin. Giving up wasn’t Jake Seresin’s style. “Never.”

You barely bat an eye now when Jake waited for you after a day of gruelling training.

You might have felt a little shocked to see the bouquet of flowers in his hands, but you weren’t about to show it.

“Gorgeous flowers for a gorgeous girl.” His smirk was irritating more than usually, the sunglasses hiding the one attribute you actually liked about him; his eyes. Which means he was out of luck today. You looked at the flowers, your traitorous heart jumping a little in your chest at the beautiful baby pink roses, complimented nicely by baby’s breath. It looked beautiful. So it physically hurt to say your next sentence.

“I’m allergic to baby’s breath.” you mumbled, not giving him a second to respond before you were walking away.

It was a complete lie. You weren’t allergic. But you would cut off both your arms before accepting something from him.

Jake Seresin changed tactics. Instead of just plainly annoying you, he now got you gifts.

And you were ashamed to say whatever he was trying to do was working, because anytime you looked at flowers now, you thought about him.

Anytime you were out shopping and tried to reach for your favourite chocolate, you could only see his big grin as he stood in front of you, which turned into a frown once you told him you were on a diet.

“Diet?” He scoffed. “You don’t need a fucking diet.” he said, shamelessly scanning your whole body, eyes stopping to admire your curves.

You rolled your eyes, huffing. Inside though? You knew you wouldn’t be able to keep up this façade if he continued like this.

You tried to remind yourself that this was Jake. He just wanted to sleep with you and the fact that he couldn’t get you so easily was exciting him. That was all.

Your heart still beat a little faster and a little louder when he looked at you like that.

Today was no different.

You felt exhausted. Your muscles were tense, and you could barely feel your legs as you walked. Work was hell.

You were trying to find Phoenix, who promised you a drink, but you had no luck finding her. Instead what you found, was Jake was sitting there, with two little kids. A little girl was sitting on his lap and a little boy was playing around with a toy plane.

Jake noticed you standing in the doorway, before beckoning you closer. The little girl looked at you in awe, her big eyes shining.

“Does she fly planes too?” she asked Jake quietly. He nodded with a smile. “She does.”

"Viper, these are my lovely niece and nephew, Noah and Mia." he introduced.

"Hi. I'm Y/N." Noah smiled at you, shaking your hand politely. Mia was a little shyer, waving at you as she buried her face in Jake’s shoulder.

"I like your callsign." Noah said in a cute, high-pitched voice. He had adorable chubby cheeks and a few front teeth missing, which you noticed as he grinned at you.

You couldn’t help but smile back, his happiness contagious. "Really? I like your jacket. It's very badass." The little boy giggled, his cheeks flushing at your compliment.

"She's pretty, isn't she?" Jake whispered to Mia, as they both looked at you. She nodded shyly, looking away as soon as you turned your head in their direction. Jake thought you were pretty. 

You cleared your throat, looking away from the his face, but you did notice his soft smile. “You're pretty too, Mia.”

She thanked you, deciding that she didn’t need to use Jake as a shield anymore. She pulled away from him, standing up. “Is uncle Jake also pretty?”

You faked a disgusted look, which made the kiddos burst into a fit of giggles. Jake grumbled something under his breath and against your better judgement, you thought it was endearing. This was definitely the best version of Jake you’ve seen yet and you kinda liked it.

"Want to come get ice-cream with us?" Jake asked, before Mia walked up to you to hold your hand, pulling you with her. "Yes, come get ice-cream with us!" Noah yelled, jumping up and down.

"I can’t. I have some stuff to do." Both kids looked at you sadly. You smiled at them, kneeling on the ground to be on their level. "Maybe next time when you're visiting uncle Jake we can go for an ice-cream together. What do you say?”

They thought about it for a second, before nodding, satisfied. “Okay.”

Jake didn’t care that you weren’t getting ice-cream with them. The only thing on his mind was that you called him Jake. You used his name for the first time since he met you. That was a win in his book.

You stood up when you saw Phoenix looking at you questioningly, before waving goodbye to the kids and smiling at Jake awkwardly. “Bye.”

“Bye.” He smiled, watching you until you disappeared behind the corner.

"What was that?" Natasha asked with a smirk. "You were being civil to Hangman?"

You shrugged. "There were kids present."

Natasha eyed you suspiciously, recognizing a bullshit excuse when she heard it. "Just be careful." she warned, instantly changing the subject of your conversation after that.

The truth was, none of your friends knew what got into Jake. Everyone knew he was stubborn and determined, but never when it came to his one-night stands. If he couldn’t get the girl he wanted (which you don’t think ever happened), he moved on to the next one.

So when days passed and he always went home alone, while trying to convince you that his bed was so much more comfortable and you should try it, people started talking.

You always just rolled your eyes and laughed, not believing that Jake could actually like you.

What was there to like?

You acted like a bitch since you met him, you were mean and cold. Everyone knew that. That’s why your callsign was Viper and why everyone called you the Ice Queen behind your back.

You had reasons for being like this. Reasons that no one knew, not even Bradley and Natasha, who you considered to be your best friends.

But god, was Jake making it hard for you to stay that way.

At first, he really was annoying you with everything he did. But now, you were starting to rethink everything you felt.

Payback invited all to his place. The men were all standing around the grill as every one of them tried to give their own opinion on how to grill burgers correctly. 

Jake was the only one not part of the chaotic conversation. You wished he was though. He was just standing there, leaning against the railing and looking at you unnervingly.

You shouldn't have looked back at him and hold his gaze, because he took that as permission to bother you again.

He was walking towards you with a beer in his hand, sitting down on the chair next to you. “Y/N.”

Halo and Phoenix were sitting next to you, up until the point when they went to get more drinks from the fridge and that brief second was enough for that little snake to slither in. 

“Hangman.” you said warily. “What do you want?”

Jake, ignoring your question and your unfriendly tone, sat down in the chair next to you. That last interaction made him think he was finally on the right path with you and he wasn't about to waste a single second trying to woo you. “How are you?”

“Good?”

He chuckled. “Relax. I just want to talk to you. You know, like friends.”

That made you look at him with a raised eyebrow. “Since when are we friends, Seresin?”

He winced jokingly. “Ouch, okay. Acquaintances?”

Sighing, you started to relax enough to let your walls down a little. “You’re not gonna give up, are you?”

Jake shook his head with a shit-eating grin. “Nope.”

You rolled your eyes, looking ahead and trying to ignore his presence, when he pulled his chair even closer to you. “I have a hypothesis.”

“Such a big word.” you cooed in a derogatory tone, which only made his grin widen, if that was even possible. But for the first time, you were actually interested in what he had to say.

“I think you hate me because you want me.”

You snorted. “First of all, who said I hate you?” Pulling off your sunglasses so you could look straight into his eyes, your blood pressure already started rising. “That would require me having any feelings towards you, which, I’m sorry to tell you this, but there are none." Jake tried to hide his grin, knowing it was only pissing you off more, but he just couldn't help it. He found it adorable how you tried to defend yourself. "Second, pretty egoistical of you. Have you ever thought about the fact that some people just don’t like you for you?”

Jake sighed, leaning back into his chair and taking a sip of his beer. “I did think about it, long and hard.” His voice dropped an octave lower when he said the last part and you subconciously rolled your eyes. “But I don’t think that’s possible. I’m just too lovely.”

“Sure you are.” You shook your head but you had a smile on your face. You continued sitting in silence next to each other and you had to admit it wasn't too bad.

“I don’t think you’re as much of a hard-ass as everyone says.” Jake said, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“I will have to change your mind real quick. Can’t have you thinking I’m getting soft.” You glared at him jokingly, but there was a smirk present on your face, proving that you didn't really mean it.

Jake shrugged. “We’ve been talking for half an hour and I already made you crack a smile.”

Standing up from your seat with a sigh, you looked at him one last time. “You’re right. Which is why I’m gonna avoid you from now on.” You walked towards Phoenix and Halo, as Jake shook his head affectionately. From across the garden, Harvard and Coyote were looking at him expectantly. He sent them the middle finger, which made Harvard laugh out loud.

You really tried to keep that promise you made yourself. You tried to keep away from him and not show him just how much he already wormed his way into your heart.

Maybe it would have worked. You would never know though thanks to an unfortunate incident.

Walking in front of the lockers, you heard a loud, harsh voice bouncing off the walls.

It was family day at Top Gun, so the place was full of kids and families, which made you want to run away. You did see Jake with Mia and Noah, waving at the kids as they admired the planes.

You didn’t want to ruin his time with his family, so you didn’t go there.

Maybe you should have. As you listened to the insult his father spewed his way, you realized you had much more in common with Jake than you thought.

You felt bad for standing there and listening, as you debated whether you should leave or go in and make some shit excuse so Jake could leave. You went with the second option.

You opened the door, making sure they heard you. Their voices quietened instantly, as you made your way over to them. Your face was neutral, no emotion showing as you barely glanced at his father.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, but Maverick needs us.”

Jake nodded, walking out with you right behind him. As soon as he was out of the locker room, he slowed down enough so you could walk beside him.

“You heard everything, didn’t you?” he asked, voice quiet as he looked on straight ahead.

You glanced his way, noticing his tense jaw and shoulders. “Yeah.” you admitted quietly. “Wanna talk about it?”

Jake chuckled humourlessly. “What is there to talk about?”

You stopped walking abruptly, hand settling on his arm to stop him. “You’re a great pilot, Jake.” you said with so much conviction and honesty, it knocked the breath out of him.

Jake just kept looking at you, mouth open in shock and eyes unreadable, so many emotions coursing through him.

“You know what would cheer me up?” he asked finally.

You tilted your head, ready to do whatever he asked. “What is it?”

“Come with me and I’ll show you.” He reached his hand out, waiting for you to hold it. You squinted your eyes, looking at him warily. “If that’s another one of your stupid lines, I swear-“

He chuckled lightheartedly, shaking his head. “It’s not, I promise.”

You nodded, putting your hand in his. “Come on then.”

The thing that cheered Jake up was apparently taking you and his niece and nephew to get ice-cream, which you promised them the last time.

The kids were adorable, you had to admit that. And spending time with Jake alone, without any of your friends present wasn’t that terrible either.

It also helped that he looked incredibly hot while acting all fatherly. You hated yourself for even thinking that.

Jake loved seeing you with the kids. It was clear how much you adored them and it didn't help his growing feelings towards you.

After his sister picked up the kids and all of his family left, not before giving you a few not too subtle looks while whispering to each other, Jake took you on a stroll on the beach. You talked about so many things, he made you laugh until your cheeks hurt. He just kept on surprising you.

Even now, hours later, you were still talking about the most absurd things.

“I hate sunflowers.” you said, scrunching your face in disgust.

“What? Why?” Jake asked in a high-pitched voice while laughing.

You shrugged. “I don’t know. I just don’t like them.”

“I think they’re pretty neat.”

“Now I know what flowers I’m gonna put on your grave.”

“Already want to get rid of me?” Jake knocked your shoulder with his and you had to look away from him once you saw just how close he was. The close proximity caused your fingers to brush against each other. You cleared your throat, pulling your hand away and ignoring his question.

But Jake wasn't ready to give up just yet. Not when he had you so close to where he needed you. "Nice night we're having, huh?" he asked, trying to make small talk. He knew you wouldn't get back to the previous teasing and talking his ear off. You just smiled, nodding your head as you avoided looking at him.

Jake sighed. “Can I ask you something?”

You looked at him, interested in what he wanted to know, humming for him to continue.

“Anytime I tried to talk to you before, you told me to fuck off. Not very polite by the way.” he scolded jokingly, making you chuckle. “Why was hearing those things my father said about me the moment you decided that we can be friends?”

You stopped walking abruptly, not really prepared for that question. And definitely not prepared to give an honest answer.

Jake stopped walking too, looking at you quiestioningly.

There were few minutes of silence where you just kept looking at your shoes, pretending they were much more interesting than they really were. “I know what it’s like when your own parents think you’re a disappointment.” you said so quietly, he barely heard you. And maybe that was your intention. Not to be heard.

But he did and he looked at you shocked. How could anyone think you were less than perfect in your own way? You saw his disbelieving look and chuckled. “You think I was born like this?” Cold. Heartless. Empty. Distant. You knew what everyone thought about you behind your back. “I had to protect myself somehow. If I acted cold-“ your voice shook as you continued to talk, “if I acted like a bitch, I knew no one would want to be close to me. Which means that no one could hurt me. I guess knowing that we have similar backgrounds just put things into a different perspective for me."

Jake knew that feeling very well. It was why he never had a serious relationship, why it was hard to let people in and see the real him. It hurt too much when they realized they didn't like what they saw. It hurt even more when they left.

You smiled sadly, thinking back to who you were a long time ago. “Trust me, I was very different before. Maybe if we met back then…” you trailed off, taking in a shaky breath. Jake wanted to know the end of that sentence. He wanted to know if you meant what he thought you meant.

“You’re not a disappointment.” He said with so much conviction in his voice it was hard for you to act unaffected. “Your parents must be crazy if they think that about you.”

Your bottom lip wobbled slightly before you bit down on it, ignoring the tears stinging in your eyes. “Thanks.” Your voice broke a little and you wanted to run away. A part of your brain was screaming at you for showing this vulnerable side to Jake. You couldn't even explaing why you let him see you like this, you just knew there was something about him that made you feel safe. It was too much. “We should go.” you suggested.

This was his chance. Maybe there wouldn't be a better time to ask you out than now. “No.” he said determinedly, looking into your eyes.

“No?” You gulped as Jake stepped closer to you, putting his hand on your cheek. His thumb rubbed circles on your skin as he held your gaze. Your heart was beating out of your chest, something you were sure he could feel. You wanted to stop him, walk away. But your legs were rooted to the ground. You were frozen in place.

Jake's movements were so slow and cautious, giving you time to pull away. You knew in your heart you didn't want to do that.

So when he started to lean closer, you tilted your head and let your lips touch his.

They were soft, moving languidly against yours as he kissed you. Every single coherent thought left your mind, as if there wasn't anything else in the world beside you two. Only you and Jake.

There were no fireworks and no butterflies. What you felt was so much better. Like you were a puzzle and he was the one missing piece you've been searching for so desperately your whole life.

You smiled into the kiss, thinking that if someone told you a few weeks ago you would be so happy to be kissed by him, you would have laughed. You would have never thought he would be the person you would want to give your heart to.

You just hoped Jake wanted the same thing.

The urge to keep kissing him was strong, but the need for oxygen was stronger. You pulled away, leaning your forehead against Jake's as you both panted.

Your eyes were closed still, fearing that if you opened them, the feelings of uncertainity would start to creep in. Jake ran his thumb over your bottom lip, making you take in a shaky breath.

As you slowly opened your eyes, you found him staring at you intently. His gaze was intense and the tension between you could have been cut with a knife.

A look of determination crossed Jake's face and you almost felt sick from how hard your heart hammered against your chest.

"Y/N?" Your name rolled off his tongue, his eyes mirroring the feelings you were trying to bury deep inside. Fear. Concern. Aprehension? You couldn't look away from them. It was the most human you've ever seen him. Today, this whole day showed you who Jake Seresin really was. And you liked it. "One date is all I ask." he said, voice low but soft, and pleading at the same time. You were enthralled by his whole being.

Still, you tried to cling to that last piece of sanity you had left, so you put your hands on his chest, pulling away from him enough to give you a few inches of space.

Your lungs were still burning, but you knew if you stayed like that any longer, you were going to ket him kiss you stupid, until you were stripped of everything that you were before.

"One date is all you get." Your voice was unusually soft, raw. You were scared that the more time you spent with Jake, the less you would recognized yourself, because you kept acting like the girl you were years ago. The one that disappeared, the one you missed and wanted to get back. The one you were scared to become again.

How much more pain can a person take? You didn't want to think back to these moments and feel hatred for the person that made you feel so alive. But what was the guarantee he wouldn't hurt you, like everyone else? Maybe it would be better to leave now, leave like this. When you only had the good memories and nice moments to look back on.

A look of disappointement flashed across Jake's face. He really thought you were going to give him a real shot at this. He tried to not show it, but you still saw it. And you relented. "Unless you convince me you deserve more."

That made his face brighten, an almost smile appearing on his face. He knew there was still a long way to go, but this was a good start. You gave him a chance, now it was time to convince you he was worth it.

"Pick me up tomorrow?" you asked, eyes scanning his face, looking everywhere but at his lips. You wanted to kiss him so bad.

"Yeah." he agreed, looking almost surprised that you said yes. Like he was waiting for you to reject him again.

You smiled, nodding, before kissing his cheek. Your lips lingered there for a few seconds and you swore you heard his breath hitch, before you started walking away from him in the direction of your house.

Jake, finally coming out of his stupor yelled after you. "Wear a dress!"

You shook your head but you couldn't hide the smile on your face or the feeling of happiness coursing through you.

Jake Seresin was making you feel drunk in love.

It's hard opening yourself up to people. It's like you're handing them a weapon and you're never sure if they're going to use it against you or not. You want to protect yourself from all the hurt and the pain, but you also know that it could potentially cost you your happiness. 

It's even harder when underneath all that is a little girl longing, yearning to be loved. When you wish someone would just hold you so you could feel safe in their arms. 

And this means there's a war going on inside you, because you can't have both. There is no love without pain. 

You tried so hard not to fall. Tried to tell yourself he wasn’t worth getting hurt over. But you felt your walls collapsing the more time you spent with him.

This is exactly why you tried to avoid him all this time. You knew Jake was charming, you knew how easy it would be to fall in love with him if you let yourself.

But the hurt that comes with it, you definitely weren’t ready for.

When you woke up and the first thing you thought about was Jake, you panicked. When you found yourself smiling at his texts, you panicked. When your heart beat louder and your palms felt sweaty anytime he was near you, you were panicking.

Everyone knew Jake wasn’t the relationship type. You didn’t believe he wanted anything more than a quick fuck from you. Of course you chose the best person to fall for.

Jake Seresin was able to crack your tough exterior, doing the impossible in the process: making you fall in love with him.

You needed to get this off your chest, so the first people you went to with this problem were Phoenix and Rooster.

“I’m going to die.” You were walking around in circles in Bradley’s living room for so long, his head was spinning.

Phoenix rolled her eyes with a groan. “You’re not going to die, stop being so dramatic.”

You stopped walking abruptly, turning to face the two people sitting on the couch. “You don’t get it. It feels like I can’t breathe and my chest feels tight.”

“Isn’t that a panic attack?” Rooster spoke up, helpful as always. Why couldn’t they accept that this was the worst thing that could have potentially happened?

You whined, stomping your feet. “This is different! I haven’t been in love with someone in years.” your voice cracked as you talked, tears gathering in your eyes. You didn’t want to cry. “This isn’t easy for me. Especially knowing Jake.”

Bradley sighed, patting the empty space next to him. You sat down, as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder. “Listen, I know that Jake seems like an asshole most of the time. And he is most of the time.” You snorted, not sure if he was trying to help ease your mind or do the opposite and make you worry even more. “But I’ve never seen him try so hard to get someone before.”

You knew how painful it was for Rooster to say something positive about Jake. That was probably why he had an awkward smile on his face. You knew the two men bickered most of the time, so hearing this from Rooster made you feel a little better.

He brushed a strand of hair away from your face, tucking it behind your ear. “I think you should give him a chance.”

You bit your lip, looking at him hopefully. “You think so?”

Bradley nodded, giving you an honest smile. "You're incredible, of course he was bound to fall in love with you."

Your lip trembled as you tried to keep yourself from crying, wanting to tell Bradley how much his words meant to you. That’s when you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket, as you pulled it out to look at who texted you. 

“That’s him.” You couldn’t keep the grin off your face, as you read Jake’s text. “He asked me to go somewhere with him.”

You jumped up from the couch, squealing a little, unable to control your emotions. “I have to go get ready, but I love you guys so much and thank you for listening to that.” You winced, thinking back to how dramatic you were just a few minutes ago. “God, I sounded like an idiot.”

Bradley smiled. “Anytime.” You wanted to ask if they didn’t mind that you were leaving so abruptly, but before you could even utter the words, Phoenix was ushering you out the door. “Go.”

When she shut it behind you, she walked back to sit next to Bradley, who leaned his head on her shoulder. “Why did you do that?” she asked, not understanding why Bradley gave you up so easily. Not like he could call dibs on you because he liked you sooner, but she definitely didn’t think he would be the one to encourage you to run into Jake’s arms, without even telling you that he likes you. She thought it was pretty cowardly of him.

Bradley played with the silver bracelet you gave him for his birthday. It had his callsign carved into the metal, the other side having yours. It was a little joke, both of you said you needed a frienship bracelet to remind you of the other when you were deployed. Not that he needed anything to remind him of you, you were always on his mind. But he liked the bracelet. You said it was a little gift to remind him that he had somewhere to belong.

He smiled at the memory, even though his heart never ached so bad before. “If Jake hurts her, I will kill him myself. But she’s in love with him, you heard her.” Nataha knew he was on the verge of crying, she could hear it in his voice. “I want her to be happy.” he said quietly, almost in a hushed whisper. If he said those words any louder, there would be no stopping the tears gathering in his eyes.

To Bradley's surprise, Nat was affected just as much. "I don't think anyone cared about her or loved her as much as you do. You just gave her up because you don't want to stand in the way of her happiness." Natasha said, choked up. She hated herself for not giving you signs that Bradley was in love with you. But it didn't matter anymore. She just wanted both of her best friends happy. "You're a good person, Bradley. And the most amazing friend."

“Stop, you’re going to make me cry.” he said as the tears rolled down his cheeks, both of them laughing even in their despair.

You on the other hand, were having the time of your life.

Jake took you the art museum, a small, teasing smile on his lips as you told him about all of the paintings. He loved listening to your voice, something he realized in the last two days.

Your hand was clasped in his and he had to stop himself from pulling you into the bathroom or back to his car so he could kiss you senseless.

But he could wait. It was all worth it when he saw you practically glowing, smiling more than he saw you ever before. And to know that he was the cause of your happiness warmed him on the inside.

As the night drew to a close, you were both sitting on the hood of Jake's car, talking and laughing. His arm was wrapped around your shoulders, piulling you into his side. Your head was placed on his chest a you listened to his steady heartbeat.

"I'm glad I gave you a chance." you said quietly, tracing patterns on his chest. Jake's gaze was on you, watching you. He didn't say anything, his throat clogged up with all the words he wanted to say, all the secrets he wanted to share. Instead, he kissed the top of your head, squeezing your body closer to his. You smiled, closing your eyes to savour this feeling. You wanted to stay in this moment forever.

"We should go." Jake said, voice distant and unemotional. The way he changed in mere seconds almost gave you whiplash. You pulled away from him, scared to look at his face and see something you wouldn't like. Your thoughts were racing, your heart beat faster as you nervously played with your fingers.

It was almost funny how quickly something so insignificant as a small change in someones voice could turn you, from a cold and heartless person into this unsure, anxious one. It would have been funny, if you hadn't been panicking the whole ride to your place if you said something wrong. If you fucked it all up somehow. If you were too much. If you scared him away because you came on too strong.

Or maybe you just weren't good enough, he decided that he didn't want you, you weren't what he hoped you would be. This was why you kept your distance. This was why you didn't want to give in. You knew it was a wrong idea. You shouldn't have come.

"Hey." You were pulled out of your thoughts by Jake's gentle voice and his hand on your chin.

You looked at him and he must have seen the terrified look on your face, because without a second thought he unfastened his seatbelt and reached over to pull you into a hug. You wrapped your arms around him, taking in his scent and enojoying the way his body fit perfectly against yours. It was uncomfortable, both of you were twisted and there was the console betweeen you, but it helped ease you mind just a little.

Jake pulled away a little, enough to look at your face, while still being able to hold you in his arms. "I really liked spending time with you." he said, trying to reassure you. You nodded, giving him a small smile that was anything but honest.

You tried to pull away from him and open the door, but his hand stopped you, shutting the door close again.

You sat there, unsure what he expected from you. You were starting to get angry from the mixed signals and the games.

He put his hand under your chin again, coaxing you to look at him.

He took in a shallow, shaky breath, opening his mouth to say so something. In the end he decided against it, and pulled your face closer to his, connecting your lips with his.

Your body relaxed, sagging against his as he continued kissing you slowly, tentatively. Like he didn't want to cross the line, an imaginary barrier he put there.

You put a hand on his shoulder, needing to feel him, to feel his body against yours, know that he was there, that he wanted you just as much.

You got the confirmation when he deepened the kiss, his tongue breaching past your lips, caressing your own tongue. It was wet and passionate and you were turning desperate with every passing second.

You were halfway sitting on his lap, your hands exploring his body over his clothes, touching and grasping everywhere. Jake wasn't doing any better. He was panting, revelling in the sounds you were making, the little moans and whimpers you let out, the whines as you begged for more and more and more.

You needed everything, needed all of him.

He pulled away, looking at you so intensely, the butterflies in your stomach started going berserk, flapping their wings against your ribcage, trying to get out.

"Want to come in?" You didn't even register opening your mouth or saying those words. It was like your body was on autopilot, your brain far too occupied with imagining Jake above you, as he thrusted into you and made you lose your mind, to control your actions.

Jake nodded, pulling you all the way into his lap and making you squeal, before he was opening the door and taking you into your house.

His mouth was on yours, as he blindly walked to your door. "Keys?" he asked between kisses. His hands were under your thighs, supporting you, your dress bunching up thanks to the position you were in.

Jake groaned as he felt your naked thighs, before you reached into the pocket of your jacket and thrusted the keys into his palm.

He pushed your back againt the door, his mouth not leaving yours as he tried to get the key into the lock, with no luck. You were getting impatient, moving your hips in circles to gain some friction. Jake groaned, squeezing your ass in a warning way.

When you continued doing it, he growled into your ear. "If you don't want me to fuck you right here where all your neighbours can see, stop."

You moaned, throwing your head back and essentially banging it against the wooden door, when Jake finally unlocked the door.

You looked for the light switch with one hand, your other tangled in his hair as he kissed down your neck.

He sat you down on the floor, both of you kicking off your shoes as you threw off your jackets, before Jake was picking you up again and throwing you over his shoulder, his palm slapping your ass. You laughed, a deep sound that made your belly ache, as he carried you over to your sofa.

"Since you like dry humping me so much, the only way you're getting off tonight is on my thigh." His voice was low and deep, and raw from your make out session. It sounded like he was in pain with how much he had to hold back and not strip you naked that moment.

He sat down, sitting you on his thigh, your legs on either side of his. You whined, moving against him. Your hands were on his chest, while his were on your hips, squeezing your curves and helping you move.

"Jake." you moaned his name, rubbing yourself against the denim jeans, creating a sweet friction that was enough to drive you crazy but not enough to satisfy you the way you needed, the way you craved.

"Be a good girl for me and stop whining." he demanded, sending shivers all over your body.

You wanted to be his good girl. So you bit your lip, closing your eyes as you tried to chase that euphoric feeling.

It was Jake who let out sounds now. He was moaning as he looked at you, pleasure written all over your face. Your dress bunched up enough for him to see your panties, the wet patch on them undeniable.

His hands moved from your hips down to your ass, squeezing and kneading the soft flesh.

You were panting, your forehead leant on his shoulder, your nails buried into his biceps.

The pleasure he felt just from having you use him like this outweighed the pain.

"That's a good girl." he praised, pulling a loud whimper from you. Jake smirked, his lips pressed into your neck.

Your noises got louder and more frequent, your movements becoming erratic. Jake's thumb rubbed circles on your clit through your panties, your body jolting before you felt yourself reach your high, letting out a loud moan.

Jake swore it was the prettiest sight he's ever seen. It was almost enough to have him cumming in his pants and he had to concentrate and fight from all his willpower in order not to. He wasn't done with you yet.

Jake kissed all over your face as you came down from your high. You felt embarassed when you saw the wet patch on his jeans but he cut you off before you could apologize.

"I lied." he admitted, and your heart fell. You looked at him questioningly, noticing his smirk. "Hope you're ready for another orgasm."

You grinned, kissing his lips as he stood up to take you to your bedroom. You were in for a long night.

Jake walked onto base the next day with a spring in his step and a smile on his face. The sun was shining on him, he could still feel the taste of you in his mouth and he had another night of drinking and fun to look forward to. Life was good.

Everyone eyed him suspiciously when they noticed how happy and carefree he looked. Bob gave Phoenix a confused look when he started whistling to himself, but she just shrugged

Hangman grinned at them, before walking over to Fritz, Coyote, Yale and Harvard, who were all standing a bit farther away, wanting to hear all the details.

Jake took off his sunglasses, loving the way all four of them kept his attention on him. It was Harvard who broke the silence with an exasperated whine. “Come on!”

Jake’s grin just got larger, if that was even possible. How could his friends ever doubted him? "Pay up." he said triumphantly.

"No fucking way." Yale, Fritz and Harvard were all in disbelief.

Coyote held up his palm, high-fiving his best friend. “Good one!”

"Did she actually let you fuck her?" asked Harvard, reaching for the 100$ that was promised to Jake. He handed it to him bitterly, shaking his head. He really believed you wouldn’t fall for his charm.

"Was she good?" asked Javy, patting his friend on the back with a proud grin.

Jake closed his eyes for a moment thinking about how good you felt, humming. "She was. Not gonna lie, might even miss her."

Because that's how it all started. The bet they made two months ago.

-

“Come on, man. Look at us." Jake motioned to himself and Javy. "Who in their right mind would say no?” he asked in utter disbelief.

Harvard shook his head with a chuckle. “Everyone in their right mind would say no.”

Jake disagreed. “Every single person in this bar would fall to their knees if we wanted it."

“I can count at least a few that wouldn’t.” Fritz interjected, making Jake scoff.

“Want me to go and make Phoenix fall in love with me?" he asked with a smirk. “Or Rooster?”

Fritz chuckled, shaking his head. “Nah, I don’t think they’re the most challenging people out here. I think there’s someone else that wouldn’t even touch you with a ten foot pole.”

“Who?” Jake asked, intrigued.

Fitz licked his lips, looking at Jake with the biggest shit eating grin ever. “Viper.”

Jake's face turned into a grimace as soon as he heard your callsign. The callsign you got because you were known not to take anyone's shit. You had a few people you let get close to you, others you kept at a safe distance. You were badass in the air and on the ground. Jake was more often than not at the receiving end of your insults when he did some dumb shit up there and you really chewed his ass out.

His friends didn't use your callsign as much as the nickname they gave you once you were called back to Top Gun- Ice Queen. You were cold and calculated, and attacked before anyone could attack you.

Your callsign fit you perfectly. You really were venomous. One bite and he would be dead.

He knew you didn't like him at all because of how he acted.

Fritz sighed. “I know, I know. She’s a tough one. I don’t think you could win her over.”

He didn't think. It was just a brief second of stupidity and his stupid mouth that he couldn't keep shut. The words were just rolling out of his mouth. “How much do you want to bet that I could?”

He enjoyed seeing the look of disbelief on their faces. “Are you sure you want to do that?”

“Scared you might lose?” he challenged.

Fritz thought about it for a second before shrugging. “If you’re so sure of yourself.”

His chest was puffed out with pride, a smug smirk on his face. He knew he could do this. “I am.”

Yale shook his head. “I’m with Fritz on this one. No way in hell are you getting her.”

“I’m gonna stand with my best friend.“ Javy patted Jake on his back in solidarity.

“You trust him that much?”

“Hey, I’ve seen him at work. He’s good at what he does.” Javy defended. Thruthfully, he wasn't all that convinced Jake's charm would work on you.

Harvard nodded. He would enjoy seeing Hangman's face after losing the bet and getting an ego-check from you. “50$ from each of us.”

“A bit cheap, isn’t it?”

Harvard sighed. “Fine. 100$. If you can convince her to get with you until my birthday you can have it.”

Jake frowned. “That’s in two months.”

“It will take some time to charm her, I’m just trying to make it fair.”

“Okay.” he agreed, reaching out his hand so they could shake on it. “No one else can know about this.”

Harvard grinned. “Scared they will tease you once she chews your ass out?”

“I will win.” said Jake confidently.

“Keep telling yourself. Maybe it will come true.” Fritz teased.

-

"You better be fucking joking, Seresin." He heard the growl coming from behind him, turning to see Bradley standing there, raging.

Jake gulped, knowing this was going to get ugly real quick.

Bradley was extremely fond of you, everyone knew that. He was one of the only people around you really trusted.

Jake knew he fucked up.

Looking around to make sure you weren't close by, he stepped closer to Bradley, putting a hand on his shoulder to calm him down. "Whatever you heard, it's not what you think it is."

Bradley shook his hand off, backing away with an angry stare. "So you didn't have a bet going around?"

"That's-"

"You sleep with people for money now, Seresin?" he asked angrily. "A 100$? Is that all she was worth to you?"

Jake doubted that telling Bradley he was actually getting 300$ was going to help his situation.

"No, listen-"

"Make her listen." Bradley said defiantly. "You're going to hurt her once she finds out, so stop explaining to me. Go and tell her. It's on her to forgive you, not me."

Jake opened his mouth to protest, but nodded in the end. What he didn't expect was for Bradley to pull him over to you and Natasha.

You smiled at him and Jake swore he heard his heart break in half. You didn't deserve this.

"Jake has something to tell you." said Bradley, clapping him on the back harshly. "Go on then." he smiled at Jake, encouraging him to talk. But the way he was looking at him made everyone aware that he wasn't happy at all. Jake looked at you again, unable to open his mouth and say what he had done. How could he have done that to you? Bradley snorted. "Now you've got nothing to say?"

"What's going on?" you asked finally, looking between the two men. Your hands started to feel clammy and sweaty and you knew something bad happened.

"Tell her what you did." Bradley whispered angrily to Jake. "Tell her what a disgusting piece of shit you are."

Jake squeezed his eyes shut, taking in a shaky breath before he said those words out loud. "I asked you out because of a bet."

You froze, your heart hammering so hard you could hear it in your ears. You felt sick. "I-I don't understand." your voice shook, sounding like you were on the verge of crying. You didn't even notice the tears before they started blurring your vision.

Bradley scoffed, turning his anger on you. "You actually think he cared about you? It's Jake we're talking about here."

Jake fucking you over you could take. Somehow. But Bradley being angry at you and blaming you for something out of your control you couldn't. That hurt more.

He saw the way your face fell even harder and there was no stopping the tears now. His face softened instantly, but you were already walking away from him before he could apologize.

"You didn't have to be so harsh." Natasha reprimanded, angry at both men for hurting you unnecessarily.

"Fuck, I know." Bradley ran a hand through his hair, swearing. "Shit. 

Every single cell in your body was screaming for you to run. So that's what you did. You ran and Jake ran after you. He caught your arm, pulling you back, your back connecting with his chest. You turned to look at him with so much anger in your eyes it scared him. “You really are a heartless bastard, huh?!” you yelled, your voice brittle and high-pitched, making your own years hurt. “You knew-“ your voice broke, a lump that formed in your throat getting in the way. “You knew why I’m like this. You were the only person I told about it. And you still did this.” you cried, half of you hoping he would take you into his arms and tell you this was all just a big misunderstanding, the other half wanting him to disappear from your life altogether.

“Y/N, listen. I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I continued with the bet, because I couldn’t care about it less, once I got to know you.” he tried to convince you desperately. He didn't mean to hurt you. If he could take it all back, he would.

“I trusted you.” you accused.

Jake's eyes softened, feeling like he was being punched in the gut over and over again. You trusted him. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”

“Don’t call me that.” you shook your head. “Don’t you fucking dare call me that and stand there like you didn’t know what you were doing. You wanted to win a stupid fucking bet for what exactly? To stroke your own ego?” You were right and he knew it. He made the bet not caring that he was going to hurt you. It was ironic, really, because out of the two of you, he was the heartless one. “God, and I stupid thought that-“ A sob left your lips as you realized just how naïve you were. Walking into Seresin's trap like that. He didn't even have to try that hard and that only angered you and hurt more.

“Everything I told you, I meant it.” Jake took your hand in his, trying to reason with you, make you see that it wasn't all a lie. “I love you.”

You shook your head furiously. “No. You don’t get to say that now.”

You walked away after that, feeling like there was nothing left to say, and Jake let you.

Bradley found you sitting in your car, tears streaming down your face and sobs wrecking your body.

It was a sight he never wanted to see. He never wanted for you to hurt. He felt a terrible sense of guilt knowing that he encouraged you to give Jake a chance. He should have known better.

Bradley opened the door on your side, crouching down beside you. He took your hand in his, holding it tightly. "I'm sorry."

"No, you're right."

"I'm not." he shook his head, angry at himself for telling you something so hurtful. He brushed away your tears with his fingers, making you look at him. "You're so amazing and sweet and beautiful. He didn't deserve you." You smiled even through your tears, thankful for having Bradley by your side. You should have fallen in love with him instead, he wouldn't hurt you like that. If only it was that easy to choose. "I think it's punishment enough that he knows what an amazing woman he just lost."

You let out another sob, pulling Bradley up from his position and opening your arms so he could hug you. You buried your face into his chest, his arms wrapping around you to hold you tightly against him as he quietly let you cry until you exhausted yourself.

He stayed with you there, his legs aching and feeling numb from being in the same position, his back hurting as had to slightly lean in, but he didn't care. He just wanted to hold you and bring you comfort.

Hours later, Jake debated in his head whether it was a good idea to knock on your door, but the knowledge that you hated him didn’t let him sleep. He knew it was his fault, he didn’t have anyone else to blame but himself for being a stupid idiot.

He also knew you’d probably never forgive him. Hell, he was lucky you didn’t knock his teeth out, which he definitely would’ve deserved. It would’ve been so much better if you got mad at him, but when he saw you cry and sob because he hurt you so bad, he wanted to beat himself up.

When Phoenix opened the door, anger written all over her face as soon as she saw him standing there, he regretted every decision he made that lead him to this moment.

“Before you beat the shit out of me…” he started, putting his hands up in defence.

Nat scoffed, shaking her head furiously. “The audacity to come here after what you’ve done.” Her voice was harsh and raw. If it wasn't so late, she would have definitely started screaming at him from the top of her lungs.

He would have deserved it, he knew that. That and more. He nodded his head, avoiding her eyes. “I know.”

“Then why the fuck are you here, Hangman?” she demanded, crossing her arms in front of her.

Jake took in a deep breath, gathering all of his courage to look at Natasha, while hoping she would see the honesty in his eyes. “Let me talk to her. Please.”

“No way.” She shook her head defiantly.

“I need to tell her how sorry I am.”

“You already did that. She doesn’t want to see you or talk to you.” Everything that needed to be said was said and she was ready to close the door in his face. But she relented in the last minute, reaching for the chocolates. “But I will take these, thanks.”

The door shut behind her with a loud bang as Jake hung his head low. He stood there for a few more minutes, before giving up and leaving.

As soon as he was sitting in his car, he banged his fist against the wheel in anger, cursing. "Fuck!"

Inside, Natasha brought you the chocolates, giving you a sympathetic smile. “Are you okay?”

“I will be. It’s not like this is the worst thing I’ve been through.” You shrugged nonchalantly. Your heart was already broken into pieces, long before you met Jake.

You would ge through this like you got through everything else.

Don’t show any emotions, don’t let him know how much it hurts, and this will be all over soon.

Jake didn't honour his life enough. That was the realization you have come to after he tried to get you alone so he could talk to you for the fourth time that day.

You were fed up and done with him.

If looks could kill, he would drop dead the second he looked in your direction, before running up to stop you in your tracks.

“Can we talk?” His was voice was pleading and rough, almost like he's been crying. And you really hoped he was. Looking at him, you saw something on his face that maybe resembled guilt. What a shame that you didn't care anymore.

You straightened out, as you continued to walk. If he wanted to tell you something, he needed to keep up with you. “What do you want to talk about, Lieutenant?”

Your voice was emotionless, cold and hard. It made Jake wince. His heart was breaking more with each second, as the realization that you would never forgive him slowly started to sink in.

He reached for your hand, stopping your hurried steps. You looked at him, shocked, feeling your heart in your throat. His eyes were boring into yours and you knew if you kept looking into them you would jump straight into his arms and forgive him. “Don’t do that.” he begged.

“Don’t do what?”

“Don’t act like we’re-“ his voice broke, his breath shaking, and it wouls be a lie to say it didn't affect you, “like we’re nothing.”

“We are nothing.” you said, pulling your arm out of his hold. “There is nothing and never will be anything between us. I made a mistake and I regret letting you in.”

A look of hurt flashed across his face, his eyes becoming glossy. “I love you.”

“That’s nice.” You smiled, but there was no happiness behind it. “But I don’t think I can trust you anymore." you said, walking away from him.

Jake looked as you walked away, a strong feeling of hate towards himself engulfing his whole being.

The best person that came into his life just walked away from him and he wasn't sure if he could ever get you back.

I really, really liked writing this fic and it took me a long time to perfect it, so please, if you like it, leave a comment or a reblog. They always make my day and I love reading them! Support your writers.

Taglist: @shawnsblue @lemur46 @afterglowsb-tch13 @sometimesanalice @bradshawburner @tghock @classyunknownlover

Taglist is in my pinned post!

oh no yeah you right i thought you meant it was a friend of his or something. i would say bradley and toots then. my fav when they overhear it from a conversation with their friends or something and they start to pull away and the boyfriend notices. but any way you spin it i will appreciate 😫😫😫

-🧚‍♀️

merry Christmas, bestie!! I am very grateful to have met you and gotten to know you so I hope you enjoy your little gift of Bradley angst with a happy ending <3

warnings: language, insecurities, Bradley having the emotional intelligence of a grapefruit, I'm back on my "Bradley's pet name is bear" bullshit and what about it, this has absolutely nothing to do with Christmas I'm sorry

“She’s just kind of clingy.”

It was a word you’d always been somewhat familiar with. Clingy. And you knew that sometimes you hugged people too tightly, or said you loved them too often. You could be overbearing, throwing all of your focus into strengthening a relationship with someone until your presence was cemented in every part of them. You understood that you did that. You understood that most people didn’t like when you did that. And so you’re clingy.

Really, you try not to be. You stare at your phone in anticipation instead of texting Natasha every 30 seconds about every thought that's popped into your head. You no longer have brunch every Saturday with your mom, but only when she asks if you're up for it. And instead of begging him for updates frantically every time he leaves the apartment, you give Bradley enough space to do his own thing. Or, at least, you thought you did.

“She’s just kind of clingy.”

It’s not that you wanted to be clingy. It wasn’t some choice that you made because you liked it. It was this compulsive, obsessive thing. It was this feeling that, if you didn’t actively make yourself present for every moment, people would leave you. No one can forget about you if you’re there all the time. 

And so you insert yourself into everything, staying glued to the people you love because you can’t stand the itch. You can’t stand the voice in your head that tells you that you’re alone. Because bad things happen when you’re alone. You don’t want to be alone. You can’t be alone.

“She’s just kind of clingy.”

You love your life with Bradley. He makes you feel happy and safe — protected. He wipes your tears with his calloused thumbs and guides you to his heartbeat, his hand covering your other ear, when a noise gets too loud. He always asks for your input, he listens to you. You love him so much it almost hurts, like this ache in your chest that doesn’t soothe until you’re near him.

Bradley’s perfect. And you want to be perfect for him too. You want to be someone that makes him feel happy and safe. You want to make him laugh and play with his hair when he can’t sleep. You want to take all the dark, hurt parts of him and protect them. You want to make him feel loved. And you thought you were. But, instead, you made him feel—

“—Smothered?” Bob holds the punching bag steady as Bradley lands a few more hits. “What do you mean?”

Bradley keeps his eyes on the synthetic material of the bag, sweat accumulating above his brow. “I don’t know. I’m not used to it, I guess. Her being there all the time.”

“You don’t like it?” Bob’s brows raise.

He braces for another punch but it never comes, Bradley’s gloves dropped at his sides as he regulates his breaths.

“Not really. She’s always touchin’ me or wanting to do shit together. I love her, but—” Bradley sighs, “she’s just kind of clingy.”

Standing a fair ways behind him, you’re trying not to cry. It’s proving unsuccessful though, tears already beginning to roll down your cheeks anyway, and you wipe at them quickly. It’s a wonder that Bob hasn’t seen you yet, standing pitifully in the middle of the gym with a paper bag in your hand because you’d been hit with the thought that Bradley might get hungry and want lunch.

You feel foolish now though. Bradley’s a grown man, of course he didn’t need you making lunch for him. Of course he doesn’t want to be around you all the time. Or be smothered by you.

You turn towards the door quickly, not wanting Bradley to catch you here and have another thing to be annoyed about. Nobody stops you thankfully, you didn’t think you could handle that right now. Bradley’s lunch feels like a heavy weight in your hand and you throw it away bitterly.

Clingy.

Bradley needed his space, and that was fine, but maybe he needed more space than you originally thought. Maybe he was already starting to resent you for it. Maybe he’d leave you because he just couldn’t take it anymore.

You suck in a breath as you get into your car. You needed lots of reassurance, you knew that, but if getting that reassurance meant losing Bradley in the process, it wasn’t worth it. So you’d fix it. You’d fix it and Bradley would think that you love him instead of thinking that you smother him.

You’d fix it.

You were acting weird. 

And not your usual type of weird — like talking to the fish tank and assigning all your friends to what dog breed you thought suited them best — no, you were a different type of weird. Like keeping a cushion of space between yourself and Bradley during movie nights and no longer sitting on the countertops chatting about your day as he did the dishes.

At first, Bradley was relieved. All of this stuff with you was so new and he’d never been that much of a relationship guy. Once women realized that his very limited way of emoting was not something that got better with time, they usually didn’t stick around long. Not if they wanted something serious. He was used to living alone — being alone. And you felt like the opposite of that.

Bradley didn’t particularly enjoy things like holding hands or cuddling. Sometimes he was tired and didn’t really want to listen to people talk about their day or the new show they’re watching. He put up with it because it was you and it wasn’t like he hated it, he just didn’t like it all the time.

So when you stopped suddenly, when you started to talk to him from the bed instead of right in the bathroom next to him, when you didn’t ask him what time he’d be home every time he left, Bradley felt like he could breathe again.

But then it seemed to hit him that you’d stopped.

Bradley couldn’t remember the last time you initiated affection. The last time you held his hand when you were walking or climbed into his lap because you wanted to take a nap. Or kissed him.

No, it was Bradley who pressed a kiss to your temple when he got home. It was Bradley who asked if you wanted to do something. He’d even got desperate enough that it was Bradley telling you about his fucking day. He felt like he was going crazy.

Because in response to all of those things, you would only smile, or shrug, or say “That’s great, bear. I’m glad you had a good day”. And Bradley would wait for you to drag him to the couch to cuddle, or bring up that it might be nice to go to the aquarium, or tell him about the new dog that just arrived at the shelter.

(Bradley knew because he’d been checking the animal shelter’s website every day to see when you posted new animals. That morning, there had been a new listing for a Great Dane puppy named Scooby Doo and there was no doubt in his mind that the name had been your idea. But you hadn’t said a word about it yet.)

At first, he thought you might be mad at him. It seemed like a logical conclusion — though he was unsure what he actually did — that explained your sudden personality change. But you didn’t seem mad. You still let him touch you and there wasn’t anything resentful in the way you spoke to him. You just refused to touch him.

“My god, you look like shit!” Jake laughs, taking in Bradley’s appearance with amusement when he walks through the gym doors.

Bradley grunts, not in the mood to deal with Jake’s playful ribbing. Because he did look like shit. You’d stopped cuddling in bed with him — you’d let him fall asleep with you in his arms, but he woke up once in the middle of the night to realize that you were all the way at the edge of the bed and then he forced himself to stay awake every night after that only to learn you hardly let him hold you for more than two hours. You didn’t cheekily try to join him in the shower anymore or wear his clothes and this morning you’d left without even saying “I love you”. 

Truly Bradley was losing his mind. 

“Hello?” Jake snaps his fingers in front of him. “Dude, when was the last time you slept?”

Bradley grunts again. Had Jake’s voice always been this grating? He sets down his bag, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment before unzipping it. As pointed out by Jake, he hadn’t been sleeping, his body forcing its own sort of alarm clock on him whenever you left his arms. Which, he learned, was a lot. 

Adler only needed one look to come to the same conclusion as Jake. “Go home, Rooster.”

“Coach—”

“Nope,” Adler shakes his head resolutely. “You look like I stole you from the fucking morgue. Go to bed or I’m pulling you from your next fight.”

With the threat as punishment — and the fact that Adler was already walking away — Bradley could only let out a heavy sigh and collect his things.

You’re sitting on the couch when he gets home, something that in and of itself isn’t unusual, but Bradley feels so deprived of you that it genuinely excites him. You look up when the door closes and furrow your brows slightly.

“What are you doing home so early?” He waits for you to run to him and jump into his arms, but you don’t.

Bradley shrugs, slightly soured from your constant rejection, and slides off his shoes. “Your dad sent me home. Said I look like I’m dead.”

You get up from the couch worriedly, making your way over to the front door. Bradley’s heart jumps to his throat at the realization that you’re coming closer to him.

“Are you okay? Are you sick?” Bradley watches in anticipation as the back of your hand reaches up to press against his forehead. He doesn’t even have a chance to revel in the excitement before you’re pulling it back like he burned you.

“Toots, please baby. I can’t do this anymore.” Bradley’s desperate, this moment being his final straw, and he's ready to get down on his knees and beg if that’s what it takes. He just needs you to touch him.

Your head cocks in confusion, your hand still hanging awkwardly in the air between the two of you. “What do you mean?”

Bradley hesitates. Because he’s never had to do this before. He’s never needed someone to cuddle so he could fall asleep. He’s never had to ask for someone to just hold his fucking hand, please! He’s never wanted affection. 

You’re still looking up at him, waiting, and Bradley is so sick of this day and everything and everyone who isn’t you. He’s picking you up before either of you can realize, holding your thighs around his hips as he carries you to the bedroom. Without even setting you down first, he lies down on the bed.

“Bradley?” You hesitantly lift your head from where it was on his chest.

He grunts, breathing in your shampoo and conditioner and sliding his hands under the waistband of your leggings so they can rest on your ass. Your breath hitches at the action and Bradley’s relieved to confirm that your sudden touch aversion isn’t because you’re no longer attracted to him.

You try again when he doesn’t reply. “What’s wrong?”

“Why are you avoiding me?”

He feels you freeze in his arms.

“I’m not—”

“You are,” he interrupts you, a bit more harshly than intended. “You’re avoiding me like the fucking plague and I want to know why.”

His words distract him, loosening his grip on you, and you’re able to break away and sit up. You’re getting off his lap before he can stop you, moving to your side of the bed defensively. 

“I don’t know what you want from me,” your lip starts to wobble and your eyes turn glassy as you hold your knees to your chest. “You hate when I give you attention, but when I try to give you space you hate that too.”

Bradley pauses, furrowing his brows. “What? When did I say that I hate when you give me attention?”

You’re fully crying now and Bradley wants to hold you. But you won’t let him. And he has no idea what’s even going on anymore. And he’s tired and confused and hasn’t been able to function properly since you started pulling away from him—

“I heard you,” your voice is small, broken, but Bradley hears it. “When you were talking to Bob about me. I heard you.”

“She’s just kind of clingy.”

The memory strikes Bradley suddenly and he winces. “Fuck. Toots—”

You wipe at the tears on your cheek with the back of your hand. “I’m sorry for being so clingy, I didn’t mean to be. I’m trying to be better.”

Bradley feels sick. Like he just got punched in the gut. Because you’re crying, and scared, and insecure, and it’s his fault. It was his careless words that made you feel this way, his inability to love you properly. He's unsure how to fix. Worried he might just make it all worse. And he really doesn't want to make it worse.

“Can I please hold you?” He whispers hoarsely.

You look up at him, surprise evident in your features, before you nod wearily. Bradley’s slow to reach for you, like you’re some kind of wounded animal, and he places you into his lap. His hands move under your shirt so he can touch your skin, his fingers tracing various patterns. For a moment all he can do is feel you. Your hair against his nose, your weight against his chest. Bradley finally feels like he can breathe again.

“I’m sorry.”

You don’t say anything, but he feels something wet against his neck and he moves a hand to cup the back of your head tenderly.

“I’ve never been good with shit like this. It was all so new to me that I wasn't used to it, I thought I didn’t like it. But this past week and a half? God, toots, I was losing my fucking mind,” Bradley swallows, still rubbing your back as your sniffles die down. “I guess— I guess, I do hate shit like that, but never when you're the one doing it.”

You lift your head from his neck, your eyes puffy and red, and you study Bradley for any traces of deceit. “You mean it?”

Bradley nods, sitting up so he can kiss you softly. You reciprocate, gaining more confidence as he deepens it, your lips moving against his and your fingers get lost in the base of his curls. Though you’re completely on top of him, you’re still not close enough for Bradley, his hand moving from the back of your head to your jaw to holding your throat loosely.

When you pull away to breathe, Bradley grumbles, chasing your lips, and you giggle softly. You're staring at him, lips slightly swollen from kissing and eyes looking sweetly from behind your lashes. Bradley groans, bumping his forehead against your collarbone.

“I’m so fucking stupid,” his hands run up your thighs. “Thinkin’ I didn’t want this. Don’t want anything but this.”

You still seem hesitant, biting your lip as you look down at your fingers. “What if I get too clingy?”

“You’re not clingy, tootsie,” and Bradley has this way of saying things that make them always sound like they're true. “You just love people with everything you’ve got and we’re all lucky enough to experience it.”

And when your face lights up and your arms wrap around his neck and you’re kissing him again, Bradley decides that he’s going to love you with everything he’s got too.

---

Missing Something You’ve Never Had

(Bruce Wayne x Batmom!Reader, Batmom!Reader x Batboys)

*NOT EDITED*

Word count: 5,162

Synopsis: You walk in to your home to find your family looking a t you like a stranger. Your family’s counterparts discover the life they could have had and you severely miss your version of the batboys.

Warnings: Angst, LOTS and lots of angst, self-hate, Bruce Wayne’s destructive thoughts, parental issues, mommy issues and hell daddy issues too, very sad in general, I’m sorry in advance, fluff toward the end

(*A/N: I lied in my last post lol I definitely was not writing but I finished this very sad batmom one-shot that I hope will make up for it before going into this new year! I won’t guarantee another one-shot soon but I will promise you it will be an Al Ghul!Reader! So be on the lookout!! Anyway, keep in mind this Bruce is very much canon Bruce Wayne who is allergic to affection. I hope you enjoy lovelies)

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Coming back from work and seeing your family look at you like you were an alien was definitely…shocking. And yet right there they were. 

After not seeing your family in the kitchen once you arrived home. you immediately went down to the Batcave.

Walking down the steps and approaching your husband with a smile you didn’t even hear Barry’s shout  ‘Wait Y/N!’ before you embraced your love and felt him stiffen under your touch.

It seems that your action ensued silence over the room and you slowly let Bruce go and looked around the room to see your boys looking at you with obvious shock underneath their cowls and masks.

 Damian looks at you with an expression you haven’t been faced with since when he first arrived at the manor. Your baby boy looking at you with suspicion and contempt was staggering. This was the first crack that formed in your heart.

Then there was Tim. Your Tim, looking at you with a guarded appearance and eyes screaming caution. Like you weren’t supposed to be there. Your boy who would immediately come to you after his night out and seek a hug. Now it was like he was looking through you, creating yet another crack in your heart.

Next was Jason whose face added to your heartbreak when he merely glanced at you. Not even sparing you an extra look as if you weren’t someone on his radar. Your Jay-bird looking at you with such indifference and lack of love.

And your first son. Your oldest looking at you with no love but concern. Not concerned for you but for his brothers. As if your mere presence was disrupting something. As if there is no reason you should be there.

No reason.

You glance back at Bruce to see him looking at you with that stare. The guarded batman stare. Now you feel dizzy. Quickly glancing towards Barry not wanting to see your Bruce looking at you like that, you face Barry with widened eyes and a flushed face. 

Barry looking at you with genuine sympathy says the words that confirmed all your worst fears. “This isn’t your family Y/N. They’re from a different universe” 

God, you’re going to be sick.

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After seeing your shocked face and the uncomfortable, suffocating silence in the room Barry took you back inside the manor to explain to you and Alfred what happened. Leaving your fa- leaving them in the cave.

Apparently, Barry had a run-in with reverse Flash and somehow your family was sucked into a wormhole transporting them into another universe while taking a version of your family in that universe here. in your universe….. It was all very confusing and devastating to hear and you shed a few tears.

You had to have asked Barry a dozen questions about this other universe about where they could be, how this happened, and most importantly, how you were going to get them back. Barry told you that he and the league are figuring it out and will find them and you believe him.

So here you are sitting at dinner with a different version of your family in silence. It actually makes you want to cry.

Right now the boys would be telling you and Bruce about their day and catching you both up on their lives. Instead, they’re looking down at their plates while awkwardly glancing at you and hurriedly glancing away once you make eye contact with them. 

It’s horrible.

And don’t even get started on Bruce, that man has made a point to not even glance at you the entire duration of dinner. Just sitting there with a blank face and clearing his throat every few minutes.

It’s horrible.

Having enough of the silence (felt like knives in your back not being able to talk to your family) you clear your throat and immediately all their eyes shoot towards you.

Flushing from the attention your smile hesitantly chooses to try and talk to them instead of silence. They are still your family. They’re still your boys and husband. You’re just not their person right now. And until you can see your family again (you will see them again) you still care for these people and will do anything to make sure they are comfortable in their home.

“I- I know this is- well this situation we are in is very…. umm well it’s very”

“Weird” Dick blurts out before he can stop himself, earning a look from Bruce whose attention has been solely on you since you opened your mouth.

“Yes, Hon- I mean yes, Dick It’s very weird. But this is— no matter what universe you all are from it’s still your home. And I don’t want you guys to be uncomfortable in your own home so if you have any questions just…. well just ask.”

the silence stretches out between you all before you hear a voice from your left.

“What exactly are you to us- I mean what are you to them?” Tim asks.

The question itself was easy to answer before but now in front of the boys who you know have got through horrible and traumatic things just the same as yours. You don’t know how they will react especially Bruce, Mr. Idontdesrvelove. (Though he’s gotten so much better with you and the kids)

“Well, I’m your guy’s mom.”

Silence. Deafening silence and then Alfred thankfully arrives, saving you from the conversation you know you’ll have to have at some point. But not today. Not when it’s so fresh. 

“Miss Y/N, you do have an early day tomorrow so I think it’s all time we retire to bed. I’m sure you all are especially tired from your night.” Alfred says with a sympathetic tone you are so grateful for.

“Of course” You stand up from your chair drawing attention to you once again.

You face your……you face the boys and smile softly and bid them goodnight. Hoping that when you wake up that this is all a bad dream and Bruce will be snoring in the bed and you hear your kid’s voices outside the door.

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Bruce’s POV

This is all very uncomfortable. Bruce has a wife whom he’s never met in his life and who is the mother to his children.

Bruce watches you walk up the stairs to a bed that they share or he shares with you. The other him.

Ever since you hugged him in the Batcave and looked at him with eyes so tender and full of love Bruce couldn’t help but feel a small amount of jealousy of….the other him. He has it all. He has children and a wife. Who loves him. He must not be as fucked up as he is. Your Bruce probably still has his parents or didn’t witness their murder and has healthy coping issues. Yeah, he’s envious of this other him.

Bruce looks to his kids to see them also confused staring at you. Is this what your kids have as a mother? Someone to go to for that soft and soothing guidance. How he remembers his mother was to him. He’s not just envious of the other Bruce but envious for his children. His rampant thoughts are stopped when Alfred- your Alfred speaks again. 

“master…Master Bruce, I’ve set you up in the spare room by master Jason’s. It is ready for you to retire in whenever you see fit. Boys your rooms are… well they  are ready for you but if this manor is different ill be happy to show you the way.”

“Don’t worry Alfred this manor is the same as ours” Jason speaks up for the first time since arriving.

“Very well boys if you need me I’ll be in the kitchen preparing tea for Miss Y/N” Alfred takes his leave and the boys instantly start up their conversations.

“This is freaky..” Tim says while glancing at his Bruce and brothers.

“Yeah. We have a…mother in this universe” Dick hesitantly says, like saying the word ‘mother’ is all but confusing to him.

“yeah, I probably don’t get snuffed by Joker in this one” Jason offers sarcastically. Bruce closes his eyes at this and leans back in his chair. He saw Jason’s Robin costume. Identical to the one in their Batcave. Maybe this universe isn’t as good as he thought if your Bruce still couldn’t save Jason from his fate.

Damian ever the blunt kid speaks Bruce’s thoughts, “Tch, I don’t think so Todd. I saw your infamous Robin costume. Identical to the one in our universe” He says snidely. 

“Yeah, me too evil spawn. It’s called a joke.” Jason responds while rolling his eyes.

“Boys. Enough” Bruce says with a firm tone that stops all conversation.

“Let’s go to the sitting room we have a lot to discuss.” Bruce stands up and leaves the kitchen hearing the sound of footsteps and disgruntled murmurs trailing after him.

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Bruces POV

The boys and he have been talking about how to get back to their universe for a while. Bruce has made it a point to not bring up you in the conversation. Silence just ensues and awkward answers when you are brought up.

Talking with Dick about using the Batcave to contact this universes League and help get home he sees Damian get up off the chair and stride to a cabinet filled with…CDs? Damian grabs four of them and hesitantly grabs another looking at it for a second before putting it underneath the other four and walking back to the couch.

“I found CDs that have our names on them.” He announces effectively stopping all conversation and capturing all of our attention.

The silence stretches out before Dick speaks up, “Should we watch them.” When everyone is still silent he hurriedly explains himself “Well, I just mean are you curious about how the other versions of us live. Especially with Y/N”

It’s silent again until suddenly Jason stands up ripping the CDs from Damian’s hands (making him scramble up to get them back before Dick scolds him) and puts one in effectively shutting everyone up and their attention is drawn to the TV.

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Dick’s POV

This whole day has been extremely weird and uncomfortable. Especially uncomfortable to know that another version of him has another mom. And yet as he watches the home video play out the feeling of uncomfortableness leaves and jealousy replaces it.

He watches Bruce and you record yourself making him his birthday breakfast. Something that sounds so simple and normal it makes Dick’s heart break a little.

“BRUCE STAWP!” You squeal dodging the whipped cream he tries to get on your face. “What? You can do it to me but I can’t do it to you?” your Bruce asks with a smile and whip cream plopped on his nose. “Yes, it is fair because I am the one making our son’s birthday breakfast,” You say looking into the camera with a big beautiful smile. The boys and Bruce see your Bruce pick up the camera and record you putting the finishing touches on your Dick’s pancakes. “It’s six a.m love, the kid is still drooling right now” They hear Bruce say behind the camera.“Still Bruce, we need to sing happy birthday first thing in the morning!” your say with a childish whine. While balancing the tray of breakfast food and smiley pancakes in a tray.

Dick feels his throat close up and the need to run away while watching the video. This love that he sees you have for your Dick and the care your Bruce is showing is something he has never experienced since living with Bruce and yet misses. Can you miss something you’ve never had? Because this is definitely how he feels. Dick remembers the touch and love of a mother and watching this just reminds him of the feeling.

The boys watch as Bruce records you opening the door to your Dick’s room and see little dick sleeping with drool on his pillow.“God, he’s going to be embarrassed when he’s older and watches this video” they hear Bruce say with a quiet laugh. You turn and give him a fake stern look and crouch down by Dick’s bed and softly shake him awake. Your Dick slowly opens his eyes and focuses on you. His face instantly lit up and a smile breaks out on his face. “Mom!” he yells out happily pulling the covers back while you set the tray on his lap. Giving him a kiss on the cheek good morning. They hear Bruce laugh and tell Dick happy birthday while giving him an affectionate head shake. The boys and Bruce watch Dick and the two of you sing ‘Happy Birthday’, eat pancakes together, laugh and smile, and basically be a family. The video ends with Dick taking the camera from Bruce and whispering into the lens saying, “This is the best Birthday ever!” with a cheesy smile on his face.

Dick is uncharacteristically silent while everybody looks at him. He finally stands up and takes his CD out putting someone else’s in drawing their attention back to the TV. 

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Damian’s POV

This whole thing is ridiculous. Everyone is getting all sappy over a single woman who none of them know. Damian sees this as stupid and it quite frankly makes him angry. He already has a mother. he doesn’t need to listen and watch himself with a strange woman. 

And yet just like Dick, the anger turns to sadness and he also becomes jealous. Watching another version of himself receive the love and attention that Damian has only seen in movies and read in books. And yet as he watches him and his siblings fight to open presents he is reminded that he is just a kid.

Who just wants a family.

“Everyone! Everyone!” Video you calls out to your children currently fighting for presents. “Because this is Damian’s first Christmas with us he will be opening the first gift,” you say in a tone that makes all your children concede and watch Damian open one of his gifts. As you hand your Damian a gift wrapped in Christmas Robin wrapping and a black bow he immediately dives in and opens it to find a collar. Confused he looks at you and at his father to see you both smiling at him, chuckling. Your Damian watches you leave the room and come back in with a black kitten with white paws in your arms. Damian lets out a loud gasp and runs to you taking the cat in his arms. The camera zooms in on his blinding smile and his small whisper of “Thank you Ummi” to you. The boys and Damian watch as you give him a big kiss on his forehead and Bruce giving him a big hug.

The silence stretches out between the group because everyone knows that in their universe Damian doesn’t receive Alfred the cat in such a memorable and sweet way.

Damian especially is just staring at the screen yearning for that motherly love. And a bad thought crosses his mind of what if they just stayed here. Damn the consequences. He wishes for this mom.

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Tim’s POV

Tim’s always been curious and once he saw you giving an affectionate hug to Bruce and the pain that went across your face when his brothers and he looked at you with indifference.

 Watching his brother’s faces while they watched their home videos he was a little scared of his.

 His mother has always been distant and he’s never really experienced motherly love but watching you in the home videos, he’s scared to see you with him and be consumed with jealousy like his brothers. Scared to watch you love a version of himself and not experience that love. 

And yet he watches his video and is filled with that feeling anyway.

“Hellooo whoever is watching this home video!” you say with a smile. “It’s probably us sweetheart,” Bruce says popping into the frame. You hurriedly move the camera away from him and talk to the camera. “Ignore him. But today we are at Tim’s school watching him graduate!” you say with a happy squeal and turn the camera to zoom in on Tims’s figure clad in his cap and gown, oblivious to your recording him. “Tim is graduating with high honors and receiving multiple awards tonight” the boys and Bruce listen to your Bruce say in an obviously proud tone. The boys watch as multiple names are called and you both politely clapping for every student. And once you hear Tim’s name you both go ballistic. While as ballistic as your Bruce could go by whistling and clapping louder than ever with a proud grin. But for you, you’re screaming at the top of your lungs, on the verge of sobbing, shouting “My baby boy!” earning looks from bystanders and laughs from your husband. The video ends with your Bruce recording you giving your Tim the biggest hug and kiss on the cheek while he smiles a bashful smile and celebrates with you and his dad.

Tim’s thoughts run rampant so much that he needs to lie down. He’s never felt this bitter and angry. His Bruce didn’t come to his graduation and he’s watching everything he’s ever wanted happen on screen.

 It’s not right and it’s not fair. 

Why does your family get you and they don’t?

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Jason’s POV

He already knows what’s going to be on that CD. He knows how he’ll react and he knows that he mentally can’t do that right now. He can’t watch something that he died for (a mother’s love) play out in front of him.

He won’t do it. 

“I’m going to bed” Jason suddenly announces. It’s suffocating in the living room and he can’t deal with looking at anybody’s face any longer.

He doesn’t stick around for an answer he just goes up to his…other his’s room. He expects to see a room identical to his but once he opens the door he sees a completely different room.

This one looks lived in. Like someone uses it. In his universe, he rarely goes into his childhood room. Too many memories and too many feelings he rather not face. But this room. There are recent pictures of him. Multiple pictures of him and his… family all happy together.

He hurriedly looks away and strips himself of his extra gear and lies on his..or his bed in silence. He feels uncomfortable very weird.

He turns on his side prepared to close his eyes and hopefully not wake up for a long time when he sees it. On his bedside table is a framed photo of you and him. He’s in front of you smiling a cheesy bright smile (missing teeth prominent in the photo) dressed in a Peter Pan costume. Your arms are wrapped around his neck with a beautiful grin on your face dressed in a Tinker bell costume. 

It’s so stupid but it makes him smile like a fool because at least a version of himself finally received the love of a mother. 

Something he’s yearned for all his life before joker was to have a mother in his life and the thought that he gets that in a different universe is what makes it easy for him to close his eyes and sleep that night.

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Bruce’s POV

Jason just left and the suffocating silence returns. 

Bruce sees Dick slowly rise from the couch and tell everybody to go to bed and something about talking more in the morning. He hears his sons rise from the couch sleepily making their way into their rooms and feels Dick linger by the doorway.

“Bruce are….are you going to bed?” he hears the hesitance in his voice and he wonders if Dick was going to ask him a different question but stopped himself. 

Isn’t that the relationship they have? Unable to communicate and ask each other what’s wrong.

It’s all his fault.

If he wasn’t so scared he could have found Y/N in his life and his family would have been different.

He would have been different.

he finally finds words to answer his son, “I think…I think I’m going to stay up a little while longer.” he says while turning his profile to him.

Bruce hears him whisper a soft “okay” and walks off into his room for the night. He waits until he hears the door close, to get up off the couch and grab the CD labeled ‘Wedding’.

The mere title makes his stomach drop but he’s always been one to emotionally scar himself. He sits back down to watch the video play out. He releases a strangled sigh when he sees himself in a suit and tie.

“What does the Groom to be have to say on this lovely day” a voice Bruce recognizes as Clark says. He sees himself looking at the camera dressed to impress with a small smile on his face rolling his eyes at his friend’s tone. “I’m very happy today Clark” the lucky him responds. “Oh yeah! Why might that be you think?” Your Bruce sighs, “Because I’m getting married to the love of my life Clark.” Bruce hears your Clark release an annoying ‘awwww’ that makes your bruce roll his eyes and shoo him off. He watches the video for a while and he sees the whole league there. He sees his friends as Bruce Wayne and Batman all together for you and your Bruce. He watches your friends and your Bruces friends leave sweet heartfelt messages that you both probably watched later. Alfred's message is what makes his throat constrict. “I’ve known Master Bruce since he was a little boy and I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to be able to see him finally share his life with the most graceful woman on this planet. Someone who continues to amaze me with her beautiful character and who I think of as a daughter. I am unbelievably happy that my boy has met you and is going to spend the rest of his life with you. I love you both very much.” With tears building in his eyes, he sees Clark open the door to see you in a white dress with a brilliant smile. When you open your mouth to speak is when the video starts to buffer and stop. 

Bruce sits up in his seat praying that the video starts to work again when it completely pauses on your face. 

The video stopped working. 

And maybe that is the breaking point but the tears fall and he drops his head into his hands. Shoulders shaking and gasping for breath he cries. He cries because of the life he could’ve lived. The person he could have lived it with.

He cries for the mother his kids could have had and the presence that could have helped them through their lives. His kids. His wonderful kids deserved that and he hates himself for not giving that to them.

He also hates himself for not letting himself have that.

He doesn’t know how but he eventually gets up off the couch and walks to the extra room by Jason’s. He passes your room on the way and just stands in front of it. This is the room you share with him. The other him. 

He wonders what it feels like to sleep in another person’s arms for years. He never knew he could want something like that. 

He doesn’t sleep that night. Not even a little bit.

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Y/N’s POV

Waking up today felt like a dream for you. You closed your eyes relishing in the warmth you expected to be there only to feel cold.

Your eyes snap open. Oh yeah, he’s not here. 

They’re not here. And yet they are. They are all inside the manor in their rooms but they are not yours. They are not your boys or husband. They are versions of your kids and best friend.

But that doesn’t mean you can be weird to them you scold yourself.

This is weird to them too. This woman they’ve never met in their lives claiming to be their mother and wife. You’d be freaked out too.

Right there in your bed, you swear to at least talk to your kids. Even though they are not your kids you could never not love any version of them. Getting ready for the day you walk downstairs to see them all inside the kitchen. 

Immediately all their eyes draw to you and you smile at them softly. “Good Morning,” you say to them all, failing to catch Bruce’s eyes. You hear soft greetings back while getting your coffee ready. 

“I’ve warmed up the car for you Miss Y/N” you hear Alfred say.

“Oh thank you! I’ll be leaving in a few,” you reply back gratefully. You never wake up early enough to do it yourself. Bruce usually does it for you during the cold months.

“Where are you going?” you hear five different voices say all at once. You turn around to see them all looking expectantly at you. 

Shocked that they’ve said more than three words to you. It takes you a while to reply. 

“Oh, I um I’m going to work in early today, I’m an architect.” The silence and surprise in their eyes is kind of insulting. They must notice you take offense because Dick hurriedly tries to explain their shock.

“Not in an offensive way course. You seem very smart. It’s just being an architect in Gotham City. How do you find work?“ he asks.

“Oh well, I usually deal with orphanages and hospitals in the city. And because it’s Gotham those are the most important buildings,” you say with a sad like chuckle.

“so you are not a vigilante?” Damian suddenly asks. The question receives looks from his brothers and father but a laugh just escapes you.

“Oh god no, the only vigilante work I do is cardio and that is enough in itself,” you say with a smart smile. They all give chuckles probably humoring you. Before you're hit with the reminder of leaving for your job 

“Shoot it’s seven! I- I gotta go but call if you need anything and.. and if you guys find anything out.” You look to see them all give you a nod and bid you goodbye before you are out the door.

Progress? hopefully.

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Bruce’s POV

It’s been hours since you left and now he and the kids are at league headquarters trying to get back home. And bring your family home. Even though they may not want to leave. As selfish as it is he wants to stay. Even though he knows he’s not yours he would love to feel an ounce of what it’s like to be loved by you. 

But because he knows you are deserving of the love back he knows he has to get your Bruce back. 

Your Barry has been going on and on about the plan he has to travel through the speed force successfully bringing this universe’s bat family back and then taking Bruce’s back to their universe. Everyone crowds around to see him do it. With his boys at his side, he watches the blinding red light zoom back and forth before eventually disappearing.

His family, the league members, and himself wait silently staring out waiting for Barry to come back. To come back with their lucky counterparts.

Bruce holds his breath when he sees Barry coming back and releases it when he sees Barry….with your family. He sees the exact version of his family all release breaths of relief and immediately look for someone.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out who they are looking for.

Finally, it seems like they spot Bruce and his kids cause they all simultaneously tense up and guard their expressions. It’s staggering how alike they both look at that moment but they both know only one of them has you.

 That’s what makes them different.

They all silently watch your family embrace their friends in the league before they walk to Bruce and his children.

It’s that awkward silence again before your Bruce speaks to him.

“How is she?” Three simple words that will stick with Bruce forever.

“She’s okay. The last time we saw her she was just leaving for work.”

Your Bruce just gives him a nod and walks off. Telling his sons he’ll be waiting in the car. Bruce imagines he’s antsy to see you. He would want to speed home if he knew he had someone like you waiting for him.

He’s about to walk back to your Barry to finally go home when your Damian speaks up, “You imbeciles better not have caused any heartache to my mother. Or I will personally ask Allen to take me ba-”

“OKAY! That’s enough of you Damian. Go wait in the car with Dad.” Dick says with his hand pointed to the black car.

“But I wa-”

“Go.” This time it’s Jason and Tim telling him and Damian just rolls his eyes and walks to the car muttering insults under his breath.

Your boys turn back to face Him and his kids, and Dick tries to start up a conversation but it’s too awkward talking to another version of yourself so they bid Bruce and his family goodbye, and they watch them walk to their car. Back home to you.

And once they safely arrive back in their universe it’s weird because they know what they’re missing. What they could have had.

You.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_

Y/N’s POV

Walking into your home your not expecting to be bombarded with hugs.

Not. At. All. 

Still expecting for the other version of your family to be home or in the cave.

But you feel multiple familiar arms wrap around your waist and shoulders and you instantly know they’re home. 

You almost cry out of relief when they all scream ‘MOM!’ and squeeze you extra tight.

“AHHH my baby birds! I missed you!” You squeal out wrapping your arms (or trying to) all around your boys, kissing them all over their faces, and smothering them in your arms. You feel them loosen up and get a good look at all their faces and the tears start building in your eyes. Gods, you missed them so much. The horrible thought of never seeing them again had you going throughout your day feeling horrible.

You caress the cheeks and kiss all their forehead until they’re begging you to stop. and trying to escape. You look down to see Damian still cuddled up to your side and almost melt, you kiss him on the head once more.

You hear all your kids talking at once trying to listen when you see him behind them. You smile with tears running down your cheeks and your kids part away from you and you run toward your husband, crying into his chest and hugging him with all your might. You feel your Bruce instantly wrap his arms tight around your waist and tuck his head into your neck. 

“I- I missed you… I missed you so much. So much” you say through tears.

“I know sweetheart. Me too. Me too.” You hear him whisper into your neck and pull his face back.

You look up to see him analyzing every aspect of your face, looking at you like you’re not real. 

You instantly wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him and it finally hits you that they are home. That he’s home.

And you can finally breathe again.

BROOO I definitely got carried away lol. AHHH BUT I LOVE IT SO WHO CARES! I’ve had this in my drafts for months and I’m so excited to finally be posting it. I hope you all ENJOYED! LOVE YOU LOTS! Feedback is always appreciated!! <333

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✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

in which you are a satellite, that just can't help but be pulled right into the waynes' orbit. right to a certain jason todd.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

pairing: jason todd // reader

trope: enemies to lovers

add yourself to the taglist!

☆ chapter one

☆ chapter two

☆ chapter three coming soon

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2023 F1 Season Prep I Winter Training

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Blow by Blow | Masterlist | Bradley Bradshaw x Reader (18+)

Synopsis: Bradley’s washed up before his career has even really begun. He doesn’t want to fill his father’s shoes and he doesn’t want someone else to either. Stuck in limbo, living the same way he always has, the opportunity to step up wanders through the door of his gym in a mini dress and heels that are a size too big. Boxing au.

Warnings: unspecified age gap, violence, probs boxing inaccuracies somewhere along the line, blood and injuries throughout the fic but will be specified in the warnings of the chapter. Smut and other 18+ content, minors dni

Playlist

Prologue

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0.3

0.4

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