That's The ONE Worthwhile Revelation Of The Century!

That's the ONE worthwhile revelation of the century!

250 words = 1 book page

OUT: I wrote only 1,000 words today :/

IN: I wrote FOUR whole pages of my book! ♡

How to write about Grief:

There is no right or wrong way to experience grief. Just as there is no right or wrong way to write it. Everyone is different, each set of circumstances are different. 

The point of this post is to show you how different people react in different ways, and give points on how you might write that, depending on your character and story.

Reactions to Grief

Numbness: Your character may go into auto-pilot and be unable to process the events that have unfolded.

Anger: This can be aimed at other people, at a Higher Being, or at nothing in particular.

Unsteady: Your characters may be unsteady. For example, unable to stop their voice from shaking or they may find it difficult to stand.

Focusing on Others: Your character may disregard their own feelings because they are so overwhelmed and instead concentrate on someone else’s well-being. 

Seek out routines: Amid upheavals, your character may seek comfort in tasks that are familiar and “safe,” such as working, cleaning, making their bed, making absurd amounts of tea or taking a morning walk.

Pretending that Everything Is Okay: Grief is viewed as an emotion that should cease or be concealed once the funeral is over. So people mention the news in an offhand comment, then talk and laugh as if all is right with the world.

Denial: Some people deny the reality of death and convince themselves that the news is a joke or can’t be true.

Reactions from people surrounding your character:

People may avoid your character as they do not know what to say or simply can’t find the right words.

Some may even go as far as to cross the street when they notice your character approaching.

Even people that the character has known for years may act strange or standoff-ish, simply because they don’t know what to say.

On the other side of that, some people may be overly helpful and friendly.

It is not uncommon for estranged friends, family or others to suddenly reappear in a person’s life after they have experienced grief. 

Either because those people want to offer their support and love  or because they’re being nosy and they want to be kept up to date on the “drama”.

Most people will move on from the event fairly quickly if they weren’t emotionally invested. 

Some people may even get annoyed at your character for still being upset weeks or months later.

When talking about the person they have lost:

Your character may recall a memory or tell a story about their loved one, these are possible reactions. (I have encountered all of them.)

Your character may being to cry or get upset at the thought of the person they have lost. 

The person they are talking to may become awkward and avert eye contact when your character brings up the person they have lost. 

Others may ask or tell your character to stop talking about the person they have lost. They may roll their eyes, cough awkwardly, or cut off your character mid sentences so that they can change the subject.

Some people may ask inappropriate questions about the circumstances in which the character’s loved one passed away. Depending on the personality of your character then may react differently. 

Other things to note:

Grief is not constrained by time. 

One of the main problems with grief in fiction is that a character is typically heartbroken for a couple scenes and then happy again. But grief does not evaporate because the world needs saving. 

Allow your character to wrestle with their grief. 

Your character may feel guilty. Your character may feel a twinge of guilt when they laugh or have a good time with someone else; when they do something to remind them that they’re alive, and their loved one isn’t. 

Grief is a game changer. A previously outgoing character may withdraw and isolate themselves. Some people may take grief and/or bereavement as a sign that life is too short; they may make big decisions in an attempt to make themselves feel better and grow away from their pain.

Sometimes grief can help you find your purpose.

At first grief can be all consuming. It hurts and you can’t really control it. It may seem unrelenting. Eventually the grief will become easier to deal with, your character may find the days to be better, but that doesn’t mean that when the grief hits it doesn’t hurt any less.

For most people, grief never really goes away. “Sometimes you have to accept the fact that certain things will never go back to how they used to be.”

It is rare that a person will ever give a long speech about their feelings, a lot of people struggle to even find the words. But that’s okay. Show the reader how your character feels, rather than just telling them.

Don’t pause the plot to deal with the aspect of grief. This could overwhelm the readers and drag the pace down. In reality, life doesn’t just stop due to grief, the world keeps spinning and things still need to be done. Use the character’s grief as a backdrop for the story’s events.  

Yes, grief affects the character’s day-to-day life, goals, and relationships. But it shouldn’t drive readers away or stagnate the story. Instead, should engage readers and produce empathy that keeps them turning pages.

You don’t need to tell your readers that everything will be fine. You don’t need to provide all of the answers.

“Skirting grief and treating it lightly is easy. But by realistically portraying it through a variety of responses and its lasting effects on the character’s life, readers will form a connection with your characters.“

Out-of-body experience

@the-wip-project Day 43

How often to you switch WIPs and do you think that’s a good thing to do?

I've read a few answers to the question to help my line of thought get straight, because if I had to take the idea more literally, as if the black-hole of my brain, I'd say ALL THE TIME! Taking a step back to think about that aspect of the writing process is actually quite scary because there's hardly any spare time when I don't think about my stories. Either I do something that occupies my brain (my teaching job is quite demanding in that respect), either I think about my stories.

The reason they occupy my mind so often is mostly because over time, it's become a coping mechanism of mine. When I'm stressed out, anxious, worried, depressed, I've learned to divert my darker thoughts to more positive and productive directions. And my wips help LOADS in that! It doesn't always bring satisfaction with the actual writing that should follow (like @sayonaramidnight, I also wish thoughts could type themselves out directly, though I'm considering voice-recording them as they come idk), but at least the creative process isn't smothered under piles of emotional or psychological luggage.

Havins two wips actually out there on ao3 is a new thing to me. So I haven't quite examined the way I switch from one to the other. The first wip is already a certain size (15 chapters - 180k) and generally made of long chapters so they take more time and research, which is why I tend to prioritize it for now. Also because I'd feel bad for some faithful readers who are really looking forward to what's going to happen next.

That being said, I also write the scenes once they are neat and clear in my mind, which can take time (and a lot of daydreaming or distraction). These scenes however, may also require that I anticipate and think about the rest of the plot to some extent (which takes even more time, and even more daydreaming). But as soon as every major element is on the go, I sit down to write them and type them as they come. This may lead me to write a chapter, and start the next in the following days.

But both stories constantly overlap in my mind, that's certain.

@the-wip-project Day 57

How do you always nail your questions with how my moods and thoughts behave? It's honestly incredible.

I've been having a hard time writing recently, sitting down to try, only to stare at a blinking cursor on my screen. The bitter irony is that I know what I want to write - the scenes are all set in my mind, the dialogues, the atmosphere and all. But the motivation (I could go as far as talking about the belief) in what I write is running into smoke. I second-guess every single idea, tone, setting, intention, deeming the whole thing as pointless. And although it defies rationality (and is just a symptom of a tired state of mind at the moment, I'm aware) it's clear the enthusiasm has flagged. It doesn't happen often fortunately, but when it does, it's pretty nasty.

I'm sorry I've not answered your posts either, even though I read all of them and thought them through in my own time. Everything's so super interesting, even though I sometimes ended up feeling a bit overwhelmed with the amount of information and directions to try out. Life gets in the way indeed. Besides, I know I'm a hardcore pantser and very rarely use tangible tools, and I think I'm starting to understand why, why it fits my writing personality (if there's such a thing): and in a couple of words, I feel free.

I'm not saying planning out and plotting are restrictive processes. I do some planning of course: my plots are all set up and I have regular writing sessions - see post here) but I've realized while reading the previous questions that the creative details of my writing do not really obey a sort of organisation, of structure, of meta-thinking etc. If/when they do, it's because they've decided it by themselves haha.

I thoroughly enjoy the moment when I put my life and job on pause (two things already centered around hard planification) and turn onto myself to dig out the remnants of my last daydreaming session, to recapture the ideas that had popped up in the middle of a meeting, the dialogue bit I heard in the school corridors. These instances escape every kind of control (I can lose them anytime) and I love that idea of freedom! It's like catching glimpses of wild animals in their natural habitat; if they want to reveal themselves to me so that I can take a picture of them, they will. If not, I leave them alone to their free will, and come back later.

I don't think it'll push me as far as dropping the wips off. I love my stories too much and my dear writing friend @stankris is here. Moreover, even though losing the motivation and the sense of writing while they usually provide serotonin, is sad, I know it is part of the process. Maybe accepting it can make it easier, rather than pressuring myself even more. I suppose that, as long as I feel entitled to my stories (which is the case), I'll be fine.

But these were my 20 minutes writing something, so thank you 🙏 Take care <3

#100daysofwriting, day fifty-seven, 2021-07-27

Hello writers!

I was listening to Rachael Herron’s podcast yesterday, the one where I stole yesterday’s question from, and in episode 245, in the intro, she talked about how enthusiasm for our writing always flags after a time. Life gets in the way, distractions come up, and writing falls by the wayside. She talked about how we always have to re-prioritize our writing because if we don’t, it will drop off.

It sounds weird that we lose our enthusiasm, doesn’t it? This is something we want to do, this is our special thing, shouldn’t we always be excited to write? Shouldn’t we easily find the time every day to write? That’s not how it works. As Rachael said in that intro, nobody ever just finds the time to write. It doesn’t happen. You have to prioritize your writing again and again. You have to make that choice.

So today, we’re prioritizing our writing. Take 20 minutes and write. No matter what, no matter how, you take those 20 minutes and write.

Today’s homework:

Block 20 minutes to write and then tell us what you wrote about.

The daily questions are just an offer to give you an idea what to write about, you don’t have to use them. You can talk about whatever you want and show off whatever you like. You can reblog from this post but I think it’s better if you make your own post. Tag with #100daysofwriting, mention this blog, keep mature themes under a cut. Please let me know if you don’t want to be mentioned anymore. I like and reply to your posts as barbex.

Mentions under the cut.

Afficher davantage

Me as a writer: It must be perfect, or they will all know I am a fraud, and no one will love me.

Me as a reader: Give us your tired verses, your poor prose, your half formed 2am conceptions yearning to be realised-