Am I Enough PT 4

Am I Enough PT 4

Am I Enough PT 4

Bucky X Reader

Summary: Their plan didn’t quite work the way they wanted. The fight that ended it all comes out and details revealed.

Warnings: as always angst, self-doubt, Bucky is a naive jerk.

A/N: So I thought it was time that we knew where this whole debacle started and who Bucky’s partner in passion is. Though you’re all smart cookies and probably figured it out already. Be prepared for the hurt. As always feedback is appreciated!!

“Can you tell me what I did to drive you away? And don’t pull that ‘you have to distance yourself to keep me safe’ crap. It didn’t work before it certainly won’t work now. I know I’m not the best-looking person in the world. Hey, I can even understand why you would look elsewhere. You always did deserve better. I’m just normal, right? You must have realized that normal wasn’t good enough. Just a phase. Easily replaced with someone better. Gah, why? I shouldn’t have fallen, everyone told me it was too good to be true. It felt so good though, so right. Did you ever once feel the same? Or was it nothing but pity? Did my little sob story strike a cord so you dated me to make me feel like the world wasn’t as hopeless as it really is? I get it, alright, people like me don’t ever get the guy.”

Y/N POV

You went to dinner with the team, it was like nothing had ever happened. You laughed and shared stories. Tony, of course, insisted that he pay the bill swinging his card at the star-struck staff. They had been recognized almost instantly, granted they hadn’t really even tried to go incognito. The place had gone out of its way to set up a more private area so you could eat in peace. The occasional die-hard fan coming for an autograph. Overall though, it was like you were home.

You parted ways after dinner, they couldn’t all fit in your apartment. They refused to leave though until you were for sure coming back to them. Sam had a brief talk, explaining where you were at and asking them to respect your decision. They begrudgingly agreed they all understood because they would ask the same for themselves. You grabbed Wanda silently telling to stay but loudly saying “Can’t stay with a bunch of stupid boys”

You both got ready for bed. There was a slight awkwardness to the air, Wanda obviously wanted to ask you about what happened, but at the same time not push you to talk. Once you were both tucked in you let out a sigh, “Go ahead Wanda ask away, I can feel your questions eating at me already.”

“That obvious?” Wanda chuckled. You nod, a slight chuckle leaving you as well. “Ok, I don’t know what to ask first? But what happened? I mean what really happened?”

“Just going to jump right in I see.” You take a deep breath “There’s not much to say, he doesn’t love me anymore at least not as much as I thought. He … I … I caught him cheating on me. I kinda knew deep down that he was slipping away from me but I thought it would get better. I wish he,” your throat was closing up and tears were filling your eyes “I wish he had just broken up with me not just …” You couldn’t keep going. It was too soon, too fresh.

“Stop,” Wanda begged to pull you into her and stroking your head. “Stop defending him, he had no right to do what he did. He was a coward for doing it.”

“I know, but I can’t help feeling that I deserved it. I must have done something wrong and pushed him over the edge. I mean look at her and look at me it’s no competition who he would pick.”

“Who? No one knows who it was. How did you find out?” Wanda shook her head. She was confused, they knew it was Bucky that cheated but who the woman was. There were rumors of course, but no one quite knew the full story.

You were pulled back to that day all too easily. The team had just gotten back from a week-long mission just the night before. Bucky had told you not to come that night as they would be getting back late. So after reluctantly agreeing you decided to head there in the morning to make him and the team a surprise breakfast.

You got everything you needed for a giant pancake feast. From bacon to juice you had it all. After setting the table up you asked FRIDAY to send everyone down. They slowly trickled in one by one, for the most part, they had all made it in. You decided to wake up Bucky and bring him down. He was never a morning person so he was probably still snoring away, you creep up to the door. You turn the knob carefully and push the door not making a noise. What you are met with is a very awake Bucky, he was supported on his elbows, butt naked, and lips locked with the woman beneath him.

You couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. You waited to hope that you would wake up. They flip over changing positions. All you take in is the color at first, that striking fire color. From there you took in every curve, every slope, the perfect figure, but it was mostly how perfectly they seemed to fit together. Each movement seemed to blend and seemed so in sync with each other. It wasn’t till they started whispering sweet nothings that you felt anything. The names tore into you, each one a little dagger that ripped your heart out. Just as they finished together, you must have made a noise because both their heads whipped around to face you.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t…. I… surprise… never…. never mind.” You back away, trying to wipe the whole scene away. You drop your eyes to the floor not wanting to see it. There’s a buzz in your ear growing louder with each passing second. Bolting out of the room, you stumble back into the living room. There are no tears just shock, on your face, the others look up to see you.

“Hey what’s the matter?” Steve asks rising slightly. You straighten, you couldn’t tell then it was too embarrassing and it might hurt the dynamic. You should have seen this coming, for all you knew everyone already knew and was waiting for you to catch on. You shake your head trying to clear it.

“Nothing just saw something I don’t want to see again.” You start packing your things intent on getting out.

“What about Bucky?”

“He’ll be right down. I gotta go. To work, yeah to work.” You shove a few more things in your bag, before swinging it onto your back. The sound of pounding feet coming down the hallway made you hurry. You didn’t make it, Bucky swung around the corner.

“(Y/N), please wait let me explain. Stop please.” He begged to grab your elbow. You turn to look at him, looking over toward the group to see the stares. You nod and pull him away, leading him to a spare room.

You remember the fight but it was mostly the silence from his end, he didn’t say anything after trying to explain. He loved her, there was a connection that he didn’t get with you. Of course, he did, any guy would have it and from what you had seen it was true. You should have seen it, in what far-out world did you ever think that this ended with your happy ending.

It was nothing but tears and a raised voice from you, saying anything and doubting everything in your relationship. He just looked away, never trying to stop you. He never once told you-you were wrong, that what you had was special. No, it was all a lie a wonderful, blissful lie. When you were done he simply stood up and told you to be gone, that he didn’t want anything to do with you. He was revoking your rights to the tower after your stuff was gone. Lucky for you he had said that they were leaving on another mission in a couple days.

You stumbled out and headed for the back stairs, not wanting to see anyone. Two days later you packed your stuff and left.

Wanda looked down at you, “Nat…Nat slept with Bucky?” You nod confirming. “But you guys were like best friends, the three of you attached at the hip.” She couldn’t believe it. Natasha wouldn’t do that, not to you and not with him. You two had bonded so well. You were almost sister, if there was shopping to be done you could be seen attached at the hip heading out the door together.

“Yes, but he loves her so why wouldn’t he. I mean they have a ‘connection’, a past together, why wouldn’t he love her.” You could feel the tears working back up choking you. “I thought for once, I could be enough for someone. I know I’m not gorgeous or even pretty, but he” you taking a shuddering breath in. “He told me he loved how normal I am, that I brought him peace. That I made him believe he could have a future one day. I guess I thought it would be our future together. That I wasn’t some placeholder to fill up the time.” You could barely breathe, you broke again.

It was the first time you had spoken about what happened. You hadn’t just lost a boyfriend, you lost one of your best friends. It tore your heart even further apart, you weren’t sure there was much left at this point. Let alone if you could ever put it back together again, but maybe it was better this way. You could stop getting your hopes up and save yourself some tears.

You clutch onto Wanda in some desperate hope that she could hold you together while you were crumbling apart.

Bucky POV

He looked down at her while she slept curled away from him. Her eyes were still rimmed in red and a small sniffle escaping between the murmurs. Nat had come in crying, he had been reading on the bed and to see this strong woman out of character he immediately rose taking her in his arms. She had cried, great sobs that wracked her body. When they had finally calmed he led her to the bed stroking her back gently.

“I can’t do this. I shouldn’t have done this to her. She was my best friend.” She sniffles tears beginning again. “How could I?”

Bucky held her thinking about what she was saying. He hadn’t thought about Natasha in this whole situation. He had started to really notice her while (Y/N) and she was hanging out. Bucky had practically been the third wheel on those adventures.

It came as a shock to him how close the group of them had gotten. The three had enjoyed movies and New York food adventures that took them to the best and shadiest parts of New York. Through it all, they became friends seeing each other weaknesses and strengths. As he had learned about (Y/N) he had gotten to better understand Natasha.

It had started with lingering gazes while (Y/N) was grabbing something or had her back turned. It turned to touches that trailed up and down arms and legs, making it seem like a mere accident but prolonging it as much as possible.

The first kiss happened after movie night, they had been trading looks over (Y/N) shoulder as she nestled into Bucky’s side. His fingers running through her hair sent her to sleep about half way through the movie. As they started up the next she had awakened and shuffled her way back to the room with promises that Bucky would be there shortly.

Natasha had scooted closer and as she entered his reach, his arms wrapping around her pulling her closer. Their eyes clicked and suddenly they lurched toward each other lips tangling together in the heat of the moment. As they separated, they were panting staring at each other debating if this was a good idea or would ruin everything.

It had grown from there each stealing moments from the other in till that fateful day. It had been a late mission and having successfully diverting you from coming to see him, he spent the night with Natasha in his arms. That morning he had woken up to her stretching on top of him. It had been so heated he missed the door opening and (Y/N) stepping in.

It was a strangled gasp that grabbed both of them whipping their heads around. When they looked at the door the dread that built was spiked when he saw (Y/N) standing there. He hadn’t seen a more broken-hearted look on someone’s face since he had been the Solider. She had tears gathered in her eyes and but it was the emotion he found there that made him start to regret all his decisions with Natasha. As soon as she bolted he got up looking for clothes before chasing her.

He prayed (Y/N) hadn’t left yet. He needs to tell her what happened. Why he did what he did. But it was mostly to get that look off her face. How could he be the one to put that look there, after all the late night talks they had about her looks and her insecurities about never being good enough for him. He went and did the one thing that would make all of that seem true. Even when he knew better than anyone that they weren’t.

He caught her in the kitchen, not seeing anything else he grabbed her elbow pulling her back, begging her not to leave. He dragged him to another room before she turned on him. “(Y/N), please let me explain.” He was pleading, no begging her to listen. He needed to make it right. He explained it to her everything he felt. He was finally open about how he felt about Natasha. When he looked up what he got was even worse than before. There was an understanding look but it was so twisted. It had anger and sadness but most of all it was defeat. He stepped forward, it was obvious he hadn’t explained enough to make her understand. She raised her hands to block him from moving any farther.

“You love her, and you love me but you don’t love me as much as you love her. Right? So why didn’t you just break it off then? You promised you would stay with me. That nothing on Earth could stop you from breaking that promise. What did I Do?”

He looked down. He didn’t know what to say but with each word she spoke a dagger could be felt digging into him. She continued on questioning and berating him. Wondering where she went wrong, how she had managed to screw up so bad that he sought another. She kept going never once letting him explain. So he got angry, she had the whole thing figured out, did she? He couldn’t stand the looks anymore, he was trying to make it right. Natasha was the better choice, wasn’t she?

When she fell silent he tensed waiting for a moment to see if she had more to say. “Are you done?” She nodded. “Good then get out I don’t want to see you again, all you junk needs to be gone when I get back from this mission understand. As for your Tower privileges as soon as you leave consider them revoked.”

He couldn’t stop himself, there was this burning in his gut. It was eating at him nagging his every move and it wouldn’t go away. She simply nodded and left. He turned, a small part waiting for her to come back so he could apologize for his words his tone. Instead, he left and went back to the kitchen to pretend that he hadn’t just lost his best friend.

He focused back on Nat sleeping, that feeling hadn’t gone away yet. He had to fix this. Nat had been right how could they? He turned away from her a settled into his own restless dreams, ones of tears and a broken-hearted girl.

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Am I Enough PT 10

Bucky X Reader

Summary: It’s movie night! And the start of Operation Happy Ending.

warnings: little fluff, little angst

A/N: A thousand apologies for the delay. I started working more and I’m pretty sure the heat here is melting my brain making me unable to function. Anyway, I am doing my best to write these chapters but not make them crap. Patience is always appreciated. Thank you for reading.

Side Note: I have had a couple questions about a MASTERLIST. I have no idea how to make one. Also, I do all my work on my phone so if it seems weird or what not let me know I will try to fix it. Also if someone would be willing to teach me how to make said master list I would appreciate it!

Bucky POV

It’s all set up ready to go, the first phase of Operation Happy Ending is a go. The room has been set up to make a moviegoers dream. All (Y/N)’s favorite movies and snacks are laid out. He has commandeered her blanket and pillow setting up her own personal viewing spot, or throne as Tony is calling it. Everyone gets settled waiting for her arrival, Bucky is antsy hoping she likes what she sees.

Finally strolling in, clad in her most comfy pajamas, she takes in the area. Bucky jumps up and rushes her. He stops a couple feet before making sure to give her space.

“Hi, um… Thanks for coming.” He mentally slaps himself, really that’s what he’s going with. “I got your favorites, also I kinda stole… no took your blanket you can sit here, or you know wherever you want, you don’t have to sit here. Oh and your pillow as well, wanted you to be comfortable.” He could just die of embarrassment now, stuttering and make a downright fool of himself.

“Thanks, Bucky.” She can’t help the smile that creeps to her face with how awkward Bucky is being. “I think though that I picked last time so why don’t you pick. But nothing too sappy Ok?” He nods his head vigorously, practically giving himself whiplash while doing it.

He shuffles to the movies, he panics not knowing what to pick. He swings his eyes to the group trying to figure it out. Sam comes to the rescue starting a debate on what to watch. They go back and forth until Die Hard comes out on top.

“I hope you all don’t expect me to eat all this. I know I like these but there is a lot here.” As if on cue everyone lunges forward plucking up snacks.

Bucky turns back from the Bluray player and pauses unsure now of where to sit. Seeing his dilemma (Y/N) gently pats the spot next to her. He sits but not too close to cause discomfort, but not too far to seem like he didn’t want to be there.

As the movie starts he is as stiff as a board. Not moving in case he upsets you in some way. He doesn’t reach for any snacks either. Hearing a faint chuckle from her his head turns questioning what was going on. She leans over to him.

“If you wanna prove we can work, you might want to relax a little. It kind of seems like you don’t want to be here.” She moves back. Releasing the breath he didn’t know he was holding he sinks into the couch. Telling himself to chill out, be cool. He lays his arm across the back of the love seat.

As the movie goes on she starts to stretch out, her feet inching closer and closer to him. By the halfway point they are in his lap his other arm slung over top. Every once in a while she would glance at him indicating she wanted another treat. He is more than happy to oblige.

When the movie is over the light fade up. She tense as the others look around and stretch in their seats. Quickly removing her feet and sitting up. She doesn’t make eye contact with him simply standing and muttering a quiet Thank you and good night. He sits confused as to what happened. It went well she even let him sit next to her.

“Give it time Barnes. This was a good start, she probably just felt like it was rushed. That’s the one thing both of you can’t afford to do.” Tony pats his shoulder as he exits. Bucky nods even though no one can see and begins to clean up the room.

He is met with a pair of hands helping him. He looks up seeing Nat collecting open bags of food. She smiles timidly. Jerking his hands back her smile fades. He couldn’t be alone with her that would send the wrong message.

“I want to help. I need my best friend back as much as you want your girl back. I promise nothing more.” She holds her hands up still full of things and shakes her head.

He eyes her for a moment before he nods. No more words are shared between them. Just another silent truce with each other. With the room looking spotless they nod to each other before parting ways.

He continued to his room, thinking over the evening and what happened. For the most part, it went well, she seemed to have enjoyed herself. Why though had she pulled away when the lights come up? Tony had some truth I what he said of course. He was just going to have to be careful around her. Maybe he needed to do more. Suddenly it came to him, the perfect idea something not too big but showed how much he appreciated her willingness to go with his crazy ideas.

He left his room once more in search of supplies.

(Y/N) POV

Sunlight streamed through your window, falling directly over your eyes. For a moment you wanted to be grumpy. The darn sun always waking people up! You turn to burrow your face into your pillow. Suddenly the details of the evening before come back. It forms a small smile on your face.

You had a blast last night, in all honesty, it was the first time you had truly been relaxed since you got back. This whole time you had been focused on putting up this appearance like everything was ok. That everything that happened, yes made you mad but otherwise didn’t affect you. To have that weight lifted, no matter how temporary, was amazing.

You sit up stretching, taking a couple deep breaths. It was going to be a good morning. You walk to your door heading out for breakfast when you pause to see a balloon staring at you. It was plain nothing in it just a vivid (Y/F/C). You follow it down to see a breakfast tray, it is filled with really anything you could possibly imagine wanting for breakfast. On the side though is a small vase with a single (Y/F/F). Leaning against it is a card with your name on it. You bend to pick up the tray bringing it to the bed before you settle in. Opening the envelope you gently pull the card. The outside simply says “Thank You”. You had a feeling who it was from and the thought made you quickly pry open the letter. There is his handwriting, scratchy but much better than his usual writing.

Dear (Y/N),

Thank you for joining me last night for a movie and snacks. I really enjoyed your company. It was a pleasure to sit next to you and also enjoy your treats together. I hope I wasn’t to forward with you at the end of the movie. I was just very excited to be able to spend time with you again. As you can see I have made you a quite a selection of breakfast for you. Please enjoy and rest easy for the morning. I would also like to take this time to invite you on a shopping adventure with me and whomever you would like to tag along as well. It doesn’t have to be today, just let me know and I’ll be ready.

Yours Truly,

James Barnes

If someone had walked in they would have seen a radiant smile splitting your face. He was just so awkward and sweet all at the same time. Writing a thank you card just for a movie night. It was different but so him at the same time. You wondered how many cards had been tossed till he got the right words down.

Thinking back though you had been cold to him after the movie. You got so caught up in the movie that you forgot for a moment the things that had passed between you. Your smile fades, in a way it kind of felt like he was trying to buy you back. Bribe you with your favorites and his knowledge of things you liked to do. You close the card, it wasn’t going to be that simple. You pace your room, fuming at his audacity thinking to win you over this way, he was a fool. He hadn’t even explained why everything happened yet, let alone give you answers for anything you asked during your fights. You flip the card over onto the tray as it flutters you see more writing on the back.

P.S.

I know I upset you yesterday and I’m not trying to win you back by merely giving you your favorite things. I just lack the words to tell you, to explain how badly I screwed up. I want to show you that even though you may never forgive me, that you may move on, I’ll still be your Bucky, willing to do whatever it takes to get you back no matter how long that takes.”

You shake your head, he always did seem to know what you were thinking and how you would react. Also, it would be a shame to let this breakfast go to waste. You hunker down again chowing down into the breakfast.

A knock sounds at your door, you tell them to enter. Sam’s head pops out, taking in the scene before strolling all the way in plopping himself onto your bed.

“Well good morning sunshine. Didn’t see you for breakfast got concerned. But here you are with a small stash all for yourself. Greedy much?” He leans over and snatches a grape.

“Woah hands off, pal. Bucky happened to make this for me.” You attempt to shoo him away though it didn’t work as he grabs a couple more things from the tray.

He raises an eyebrow at you. “Oh really?” You nod and pass over the note. He reads quickly, “I wonder how much paper he went through to get this?”

“That’s what I said! It’s so proper and polite. Definitely not like him.”

“He probably looked it up on the internet. Though it sounds like he is trying to win you back by spending time and doing everything you love.”

You pull the card from him flipping it around so he could see the other side.

“Scratch that he does know you inside and out, but it’s good to know that’s not what he intended. Have you guys talked yet?” You shake your head. “Of course you haven’t. Well, I think the only thing that will help is talking. Get everything out there.”

“I just, I get so angry and sad when I see him. I really just want to punch him and call him names. I don’t know how to do it.” You shake your head the whole thing seems like a lost cause to you.

“Well this is your olive branch from him, you’re going to be spending time together, you’ll know what to do when the time comes.” He rises from the bed snatching a whole plate of goodies as he goes.

“Oh way to be cryptic, thanks for that Buddha. Stop stealing my food!!” You lunge after him.

“Nope this is your consultation fee, I the great Falcon do not come free.” He laughs and quickly leaves devouring the food as he went.

You throw your head back against the pillows, huffing. Well, no time like the present. Cleaning up you exit your room and head to the kitchen. Wanda is the only one present at the moment, quietly sipping on her orange juice.

“Hey Wanda, good morning.”

“Hello (Y/N), you're up late today.”

“Yeah, Bucky made me a humongous breakfast this morning.”

“Oh?” She raises her eyebrow, exactly like Sam in fact.

“Yeah it was good,” you switch topics not wanting the exact same thing said to you again. “ So speaking of him, Bucky invited me to go shopping, I was wondering if you would mind joining us?” You peak up at her from where you are washing your dishes. You try not to look too desperate for someone to join you.

She is studying you, “You think that’s a good idea? I mean only yesterday you were yelling at each other. Practically threatening to scratch his eyes out.”

“Well yeah, he wants a second chance and I figured I could at least try, maybe be friends with him again. That’s also why I want you there, make sure he’s not pulling anything over on me. I mean I was going to see if anyone else wanted to join us as well.”

She keeps looking at you. You’re not sure if she’s trying to decide if she wants to go or if you have gone completely insane overnight.

“I don’t want to seem like a naysayer, I just want you to be careful. We all saw how much it hurt you when he made you leave. I can’t watch you go through that again. This could just be a phase, maybe seeing you back he regrets it now but what about down the line. Also, Natasha and he haven’t spoken or interacted since you got back what happens when they do?”

You pause what you're doing she had valid points, as far as you knew this was just temporary. “Your right and I don’t want to get hurt like that again. Maybe that’s part of why I pulled back last night. But I want this to work. I want him back I do. Since I left and especially this morning, he knows me almost too well. I was reminded of all the good times and when he was there for me when I needed him. He knows everything the when, where, and how much. I feel like if I don’t let him try it’s throwing all that away. I need to give him this chance. I just want to believe he loves me and always has.”

You were crying bearing your soul to her. You wanted so bad for this to work out. For him to realize the mistake he made and never let you go again. You didn’t want to hurt and no more tears. You wanted to be someone’s true love again, to have that person that completes you so seamlessly.

Wanda swiftly moves around the counter taking you in her arms. Letting you cry out all the pain and anguish of the love you had lost. Guiding you to the couch she rocks you, gently rubbing her hands up and down your back. You fall into the occasional whimper and sniffle.

Still holding you, “Why don’t we try this? Next month is your birthday so we need to find you an outfit. We can go shopping next weekend. This way Bucky has more time to adjust to you being here. We can see if he goes running off to Natasha or if he is serious. That and you can start building your relationship from the bottom, spend time don’t just leave when he is in the room. Have those needed conversations. Then next Saturday we all go out and have some fun. We can even take Nat.” You jerk slightly at the idea. “Yes, you will have to deal with her eventually. I can tell you though that she is truly sorry and wants to make it up to you.”

You nod your head taking it all in. “Good! Now let’s move on with our day. I believe Tony wanted your assistance in the lab. Something about needing a guinea pig slash evil sidekick.”

Wiping your tears, you draw Wanda in hugging her tight. “Thank you. It’s probably the latter. Tony was finding a job for me, I think mostly to keep me close but I also I need something to do.”

“Perfect, go get changed because your whole look right now does not scream evil side kick right now.” She chuckles and pushes you toward your room.

“You’re right, this reads more lazy assistant. Oh wait, I should let Bucky know about next Saturday.”

“I got it, plus I’m headed to the gym anyway. That’s where the most likely is.”

Rushing to your room you dress and hustle to the lab. With each step, you grow a little more confident in your future. Everything would work out in the end and your friends would be there to help you through it all.

Entering the lab you are greeted, “Come pinky, it is time to take over the Wolrd!”

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Am I Enough PT 12

Bucky X Reader

Summary: Things can’t go on like they have it’s time to change some things.

A/N: Hello All, I have had a rough month with writing no real motivation. But as today was my birthday today so I got my butt in gear and write this chapter enjoy. Also get ready for confrontations.

Y/N POV

Getting out of the tower turned out to be the greatest idea ever. Especially when it was with someone that you weren’t mad at. Steve and you spent the day galavanting about the city. You went sightseeing, Steve explained how things were back then, everything had changed of course. There was, of course, some shopping to be done, but it was nic-nacs little souvenirs from today’s travels. Your biggest find was a stuffed plush you had gotten from the aquarium, your favorite sea creature. The best find though was from a little shop that carried Avengers items. You had found it tucked in the back of the shop on the clearance rack. It had Tony wrote all over it, a red and gold mug stating The Stark Truth: Party All Night, Invent All Day, and A Little Love In Between with a picture of Iron Man on the other side. You had giggled the whole time. You couldn’t wait to give it to him when you got back.

It must have been a sightseeing Steve carrying this ginormous stuff you through the main lobby of the Avengers Tower. You had caught a few bug eyes yourself, you merely giggled while pulling Steve along a little faster eager to get home. The elevator ride was animated as you discussed the success of your day. You were both struggling to breathe, you were laughing so hard when the doors opened to the main living room. Clint was lounging with Natasha on the couch flipping through channels. Sam was talking to Wanda while pulling a massive sandwich towards him. He stopped it halfway there when you entered, letting lettuce and tomatoes fall out the back.

“What the heck is that?” Clint flips around on the couch leaning towards it. He is making grabby hands at it.

“This,” you say setting your other bags down to take the stuffy from Steve, keeping it well away from Clint. “This is my new boyfriend, Mr. Snickelfrits.” You pull him in and cuddle your face in the fur.

“Oh, give up on the human race I see, well darn shame. Let me see him. Wanna make sure he’s good enough for my girl.” He reaches out again to inspect the new boyfriend.

You can’t help but giggle handing the plush over. Clint takes the animal and gives it a few squeezes testing his worth. Then he straightens he is to get a good frontal look. “Hmm, good bone structure, clear eyes, don’t see nothing crazy here. Sufficiently lean, for now, might want to keep an eye out on it though. I know his kind.” He thrusts Mr. Snicklefrits down on the coffee table. “Now see here young man, you got yourself a good woman here. I don’t want to hear about any slacking off on your part you hear. I know how your kind works, getting lumpy and popping stitches after so long. Well, I won’t hear of it.”

He continues to educating him while the others laugh. You’re laughing the hardest by far loving every moment. You’re so caught up you don’t see the others gazes meeting around you. It was good to hear that laugh again to see the smile that splits your face. It had been too long for any of them.

You finally catch your breath and save your poor boyfriend from Clint's grasp. “All right leave him alone. He will take perfect care of me. Now if you will excuse me for a moment I need to get him comfy in my room.”

“Wow, at that stage already. Moving pretty quick don’t you think?” Clint called after you. You merely stuck your tongue out at him, continuing to your room.

Mr. Snicklefrits settled you head back to the living room, where you find the group chatting quietly to each other. Natasha sees you first and quickly changes whatever subject they were talking about. You decide to ignore it for now. They had been meddling a lot recently but maybe they were finally catching on that it wasn’t going to end well. Marching up you through yourself onto the couch between them.

“OK weirdos, what are we doing tonight?” You shift your head from side to side searching for answers in their faces. Most looked down looking slightly guilty, some attempting to pull off the innocent look. It was not working, you were, however, going to let it slide for now.

“Hey ho, people,” Tony storms into the room completely missing the atmosphere. “It’s time to get our groove on we to have a game night! Go get ready!” He starts to show people out of the room. They were all more than eager to escape the room with a good excuse to leave.

“Tony!” You get up skittering over to the side table for his gift. “I got you something while we were out.” You thrust the package into his hands as you approached him. You watched him unwrap it while bouncing on your toes, hardly containing the excitement of seeing his reaction.

He pulled out, taking a moment before throwing his head back in a full belly laugh. You couldn’t help but giggle along with him, knowing you hit the jackpot with the gift. He quickly grabs you into a hug, forcing all air out of your lungs. You squeeze him back for a second before tapping his back indicating your need to breathe.

“Well, I totally won that one.” You say with a giant smirk on your face.

“You did indeed! Now, anything you need to make your self more comfortable?” He said morning to your current attire. You nod and head back to your room changing into one of your comfiest pair of yoga pants and a loose t-shirt.

Heading back to the living room you see a giant stack of games has been set on a table along with snacks galore on another. The group was chatting around the bar each grabbing drinks and chatting. Joining them you go to fix yourself a drink when a glass is a slide in front of you already full and rest to go. You send a sidelong glance towards the person to bequeath you the drink. Bucky sends you a small smile, you can see the hope in his eyes silently pleading for you to take the drink as a show of peace for the evening. You pick it up and sip, of course, it is perfect, just like every time before. You nod to him accepting.

Turning you find the majority have sat down and munched on snacks. They had left 2 seats open of course right next to each other. You sigh shaking your head while grabbing a plate of food for yourself. You sit and join the current argument on which games are to be played. Nat and Bucky are arguing for a card game, which came with protests of them being really good at cheating. Bruce and Tony also being able to count cards. Thor was confused and called for the simple games like the Go Fish and Finding the Old Maid with no name.

You laugh at their antics while quietly getting up and choosing a board game. Selecting your favorite you quickly return and set the box down. The others continue to rant while Bucky sends you another smile helping you set up the game and get all the appropriate pieces. They have finally noticed that a game has appeared before them and you and Bucky are quietly chatting over your cards. A little trash talk and a little plan of action.

Noises of agreement go around all once again sharing looks of accomplishment with each other. The game begins and you rotate through your turns. Throughout you find the usual stubborn people are giving in a little too quickly and Bucky is standing up for your choices a little too often. You feel a small twitch growing in your eye.

Games get traded for others, while funny stories get passed around. It’s pretty much how all your game night go. Bucky is practically your butler waiting on you hand and foot. Drink need to be refilled, done. More food, done. Piece or card on the floor, not even a chance to bend over before Bucky has returned it to you. The first twitch goes off after about the 6th time he asks if you need anything in an hour. You merely shake your head at him.

On the 4th game for the night, you’ve noticed a shift in the stories. Most of them containing time when Bucky and yourself were together. Everyone just keeps going, building it up. The twitch gets worse, the sighs more frequent.

It wasn’t that they weren’t good stories but did they have to be so obvious about their plan to get you and Bucky back together. It was the final straw when you got up to pick a new game. You headed to the table glancing at each trying to pick. You heard whispering behind you followed by a scrape from a chair. Bucky had joined you in picking a game.

“Do you need any help?” He whispers. You grip the table while dropping your head to the table in a vain attempt to calm yourself down. Muttering that he was just trying to help and the others were forcing him. You catch him shooting a look back towards the main table.

They must have signaled at him because he followed with, “Are you feeling ok?” You felt the snap, heck Bucky probably heard it. He could see the way your back went ramrod straight and your breathing became heavy.

“Go sit down.” It was more of a mumble really, your last ditch effort to remain calm. Of course, this is not understood by the super soldier. He reaches a hand out placing it on your shoulder. You flip around knocking it off you while turning to the group. Of course, this would have been easier if it wasn’t his metal arm on you. You had swung so fast you were sure a bruise and maybe a cracked bone in your hand now. You clutch your hand to your chest, bouncing on your toes like it would alleviate some of the pain.

Bucky began to fuss, focusing on making the pain go away, eyes panicked with raised eyebrows. His hand flirted about you looking for a place to hold. Since the group had already been blatantly staring anyway they rose to assist.

“Sit down, damn it.” You scream at them, finally coming to a standstill. No one headed your words, still coming towards you. You shuffle backward. “I said sit down, now sit! You as well.” You motion to Bucky. He carefully retreats not wishing to anger you further.

“I know this may come as a surprise to you, but I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I can pick a game out on my own. I am quite good at obtaining my own food. I don’t need to wait on hand and foot. I've not broken anymore.” There was a collective in the draw of air. You shoot all of them a glare freezing any words about to come out. “No, nope don’t even speak right now. I am so frustrated with you all right now.” You point your finger at Bucky staring him down making sure he would understand what you were about to say next. “You best make note of everything I’m about to say cause this is where we stand right now.” You scan over the rest of the group, some were innocent in all this but best get it all out at once to prevent future issues.

“Yes, Bucky and I have broken up. Yes, he did cheat on me with Natasha. Yes, I did run away for a little while. Yes, I was broken and confused on how to go on with my life. It seemed like the best choice at the time. Even though none of you listened to me you still came after me and I thank you for that. Who knows what would be happening right now if you didn’t. That being said I’m doing alright, I’m working through it with the help of you guys keeping me busy and entertained. The meddling has to stop.” There was a chorus of protests going up, but you shushed them. “Yes, you are don’t try to deny it. For a group of superheroes and spys, you aren’t good at hiding this kind of things. You’re so obvious about it, especially tonight. I need you guys to stop now. I need Bucky to show me himself that he is capable of fixing this, whatever this ends up being. Let him prove it on his own.” You glance at the man himself. “I’m not saying you can’t get advice or ideas from them, but I want it to be you. I’m tired of every single meal or event has to be some staged intervention. Tony is a perfect example, forcing Nat and me to go on one of the most awkward lunches ever. I’m not ready for that yet, yes I may need a shove eventually but that is on Natasha and how much she may or may not value our friendship. Just stop please with the plans. It’s their mistake to fix not yours.”

You huff once more before turning back to the table to blink the tears out of your eyes, your hand still throbbing. You loved them all to death, it just killed you that they couldn’t seem to understand how much this hurt you. You feel a hand upon your shoulder, Tony slowly turns you into his chest resting his chin on your head.

“Sorry Kiddo, we didn’t mean to make you feel this way. We’ll stop interfering and let whatever happens to happen. Now can we check out your hand, you’re bleeding.”

You pull your hand up to see the top scrapped up and a blueish purple tint forming. You pull a sheepish smile, nodding in agreement. Bruce and Tony lead you away to the med lab for a quick look. The doctor looks you over and tells you, you’ve cracked the 3 middle fingers in your hand. He gives you some pain. Meds and instructions to properly care for your brace and send you off.

It’s now about 2 am and people are still lounging around playing games. Sam sees you exit the elevator, quickly running over pulling you into a hug.

“Man I knew you were a special kinda stupid but really, though you could beat Bucky’s arm in a slap fight.” Pushing you away to examine the rest of you. You shack tour head with a laugh. One by one they all get a hug followed by an apology, though Thor apologized for no reason other than eating your snacks.

“Alright, I think we’ve had enough excitement for tonight let’s all get to bed. Including you Kiddo.”

You’re left with a squirming Natasha and Bucky. You couldn’t help but fidget as well this was the first time you had been alone with the both of them.

“I’m sorry,” Bucky speaks up first. “I just didn’t want to screw up the chance you're giving me. You’re right though this is my problem and I want to fix it. I shouldn’t have related on them to fix it for me.”

“It’s alright I know why you did it, you know how they like to go overboard with things.” He chuckles and nods. “Bucky,” He lifts his head eager to please you. “I know you can do it, you did it the first time you can do it again.” He nods once more and passes you gently patting your shoulder.

“Oh and Bucky, this” you raise your hand and indicate the bandages, “not your fault. You do have a tendency to take the blame for things that can’t be helped. I shouldn’t have lashed out as I did. My temper got the best of me.” He gives his now signature nod and continues towards his room.

Going back to Nat, you take a small breath. She though beat you to the punch. “Thank you, for giving me another shot, I don’t know why in my ever mind I thought to separate you two was a good idea.” You go to interrupt her. She holds up her hand halting all protests. “Please just let me get this out.” You nod signaling her to continue. “I…I was jealous pure and simple. You had everything I wanted, down to the stupid little problems and I wanted that. Your relationship with Bucky and just complaining about little things from the office. I’ve never been jealous like this before, not with something so pure. I guess I was of you both. Bucky got the perfect relationship, with the normal love. I wanted it so bad it hurt. You had the guy who treated you like you were a Goddess and I wanted that. I’m not trying to reason with you make you forgive me. I want you to know how grateful I am that you still let me in your life and are giving me a chance to prove I was and am your friend and I will do anything to get that back with you. Please just tell me what to do to make it possible.” She had tears building in her eyes, her voice cracking several times while speaking.

Emotion runs through you, you want your best friend back. Every piece that made up its crazy self. From the shopping to the late-night talks with mountains of candy. Heck, you would even take being thrown to the mats a few times. There was this fear though that what happened before would happen again. You couldn’t just throw yourself wholeheartedly in it again.

“Its like I’ve told Bucky and the others, I need time. I can’t go straight back but I’m willing to try taking small steps. Maybe a couple lunches with Wanda or the others. I want my friend back, someone to talk to and gossip with I miss you but I can’t commit right now.”

She nods her head eager just like Bucky to make up. “I’ll do it anything and I’ll do it myself.”

She rushes up to you, pulling you into a bone-crushing hug. “Thank you for the chance.” Letting you go she retreats to her room. Sam comes out a few seconds later wrapping an arm around you.

“That was very brave, few would be willing to give it a shot like you have.” You shift to wrap your arms around his waist pulling yourself close.

“Just tell me I’m not making a mistake with this. I don’t want to hurt again but I want what I had before.”

He runs his hands up and down your back soothing your nerves. “I can’t, but I think you have two people that also want that just as much and are willing to work for it. You can’t take that for granted. It will all work out in the end. Life doesn’t come without pain though I can tell you that.”

Giving your arms a pat he leads you to the couch. Pulling up a movie you both cuddle with each other. You are quick to drift off, pain meds pulling you under quickly. You find yourself stretches out next to Sam, with the opening credits to whatever chosen movie begins to play.

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BELATED BIRTHDAY

Bucky X Reader 

Warnings: super long, angst, little self-doubt, and fluff

Summary: What happens when the team forgets your birthday? Including your best friend to have a dinner party to meet his new girl. 

A/N: I was super encouraged by all the love I got on my last story that I thought I would try again. Thank you all for reading these. This one is super long I let my feelings go and this is what can out of it. 

It’s not like you never told anyone your birthday, it was just a weird thing to bring up in conversation. You would also think a group of ex-assassins and superheroes would remember a little thing like that. So for the past week leading up to it, you had been waiting with bated breath for someone to ask if you had plans for that day. Each day rolled by with nothing, maybe they were going to surprise you. Nobody was acting suspiciously though, no talking that stopped when you walked into the room. Thursday rolled around with nothing and with 2 days till your birthday, you were excited when your best friend Bucky came into the living room. 

“Hey lady, you got plans Saturday night?" 

"No, none what so ever!” You had gotten so excited that you had blurted it out rather quickly. Almost shouting at the man. 

He rocked back at your tone surprised at your eagerness.  

“Awesome we’re all going out to dinner wanted to know if you wanted to join us? Just a little something nothing too formal." 

"Sure, yes I’ll be there" 

He nodded and walked back out. You squealed a little, they were doing something. This was going to be great. You got up and practically sprinted to your room. You had to look nice for your party. You laid out a couple different outfits, finally, you set your mind on an (F/C) dress you had been saving. You paired it with some sandals and called it a day. 

Finally, Saturday came and you spent the better part of the afternoon getting ready. When you walked out to join your friends. To say some jaws dropped was an understatement. You were known as the queen of casual; never really putting too much effort into how you looked so when you stepped out in you dress all dolled up, the boys didn’t know what to think and the girls were cheesing so hard their faces might have split in half. 

Sam recovered first. Strolling up to you he said, "Hey pretty lady, can I take you out to dinner?" 

"Ha, sure you can, as long as you can show this girl a good time." 

"Well, then I’m the guy for you.” He held out his arm and you hooked yours through. 

“What’s with the extra effort? You never dress up.” Nat asked curiously. 

“Just wanted to look good for this night.” You say blushing slightly.

Everyone finally headed out except Bucky, he was joining them at the restaurant. They made their way down the street to your favorite little Italian restaurant. Stepping in you’re immediately escorted to a private room for your group. There you see Bucky seated with a blonde bombshell chatting quietly with heads close together. Your heart stutters for a moment, yes Bucky is your best friend but you had always secretly hoped one day it would be more than that. Obviously, that wasn’t happening anytime soon because as soon as he noticed you all he started introducing his date. 

“Hey, guys this is Gabby.” He starts to introduce each one of you and everyone shacks hands with her. 

When he comes to you he says “This is my best friend, (Y/N). This is Gabby, we’ve been seeing each other for a few weeks.” You’re frozen in your spot staring at this girl. He had never mentioned her but from the smile on his face, you can tell it’s pretty serious. You snap out of it and reach your hand out greeting her. Suddenly you get the feeling that tonight had nothing to do with your birthday. 

For the rest of the dinner, you sit quietly, not really talking more just sitting and observing the things going on around you. But you always go back to Bucky and Gabby chatting; he had barely glanced your way the whole night and hadn’t even noticed what you were wearing but why would he when there was a gorgeous woman next to him. It had become very apparent, by the time the check was brought that this wasn’t for you but for the girl next to Bucky. Not a single person had remembered your birthday, but it was too late to say anything now. Glancing around you see all the happy faces of your friends, no one looks back at you all focused on their own discussions.

So you excuse yourself from the table, saying you need to use the restroom, but instead of heading there you head straight out the front door. If no one remembered you would celebrate on your own. You walk down the street trying to blink back the tears while shooting Sam a quick text letting him know you weren’t feeling well and you were headed back to the Tower. Stopping by a quaint looking bakery you stop in and grab a cupcake your favorite kind.

You finally back at the Tower, you go straight to the balcony on the top floor. You sit with your legs dangling over the edge and focus in the city spread out in front of you. Taking the cupcake out of its box you begin to sing “Happy Birthday” to yourself, tears start to fall about halfway through and your voice cracks then give out toward the end. You sit quietly and finish your cupcake.

A pair of black stilettos appear in the corner of your vision, you glance up to see Nat. She plops down next to you. 

“You like Bucky don’t you?" 

You kind of stare at her she knows that but not your Birthday? "So? Doesn’t matter he’s with Gabby.” You state your not mad, a little jealous but he can date who he wants. Yeah, you wish it was you so bad but who could blame him for picking her over you, a little pudgy vs. drop dead gorgeous. 

“So I think you two would be great together. You are selling yourself short." 

This was perfect; just perfect you were miserable about your missed birthday but now you were adding on Bucky. Each on its own you could deal with but together. Well together seemed a little more dismal.

You felt your heart break in half. Maybe this whole thing was a mistake, you weren’t meant to be a part of this team. Heck, it would definitely cause a rift if Bucky ever found out you liked him. A whole bunch of awkwardness there for sure. The rest of the team couldn’t even remember your birthday. You start to think back on all the times you had thrown a tantrum, when you were so tired your sarcasm came out and you said harsh things to the team. Maybe it was better if you left, you couldn’t hurt anyone that way. 

You knew in your head most of the things you were saying were false but it rang so true right now that you couldn’t help but believe it. You focus back on Nat coming to a final decision about everything.

"I know. Call it a coping mechanism or whatever; one learns quickly the way the world works. Him and I, never going to work out. He can never know though. Promise you won’t tell him?!.” You add some finality to your voice to emphasize your point to her. 

She merely nodded her head in agreement. Standing up you brushed off your dress and picked up the remains of your cupcake. 

“Now enough of my pity party. It’s time for bed and start a new day tomorrow.” You pull Nat up beside you and walk back inside. Before you part ways she gives you a hard hug. You make your way to your room scrolling through your phone looking for a certain email. Upon finding it you email Fury asking if the position was still open and that you were interested in taking it. Once done you stripped and showered then cuddled into bed to start a new day and a new life tomorrow. 

The next morning you wake up to a message from Fury saying the position was still open and that he would start the process to get your transfer ready. He did say that it might take a week or two to get it done and for you to move. Closing the email you get ready for your day. This changes things you look around your room you would have to start packing but secretively so they didn’t think anything suspicious was going on. You asked FRIDAY for some boxes to be delivered. If asked you could always say you were donating it. 

You head out to grab some food, telling yourself not to annoy anyone while you were there. You were walking on thin ice with the group already no need to leave on an even more negative note. Right before you enter you hear a giggle. Oh, Gabby must have stayed over last night. No need to keep her a secret when the whole team knows now. You make a beeline for the fridge, avoiding making eye contact with anyone. 

“Hey, (Y/N). Good morning”  Bucky calls cheerfully. You raise your hand above the door of the fridge and wave back. “She’s not much of a morning person, tends to be rather grumpy most of the time.” He explains laughing slightly. Though from his tone you can tell he is slightly embarrassed by your behavior in front of her. Dang, you’ve screwed up again, but it would be over they wouldn’t have to deal with you soon enough.

You exit the room but pause when Gabby asks “What does she do? Like her role on the team?”  

There’s a moment of silence you can’t tell what their faces look like whether it is shocked or confused, but the answer that follows tells it all. 

“She’s like a jack of all trades,” Tony answers hesitantly “she…. how do I explain this? She does what we need her to. She isn’t great at any one thing." 

Your breathing stops, that’s what they thought. You could hear grunts of agreement. You feel tears start to build again. No, not again, she wouldn’t start crying again. You raced off just after hearing Steve say, "Yeah that’s what she is a jack of all trades, master of none." 

What you didn’t hear was Bucky saying "But she’s the glue that holds us all together, the one that will become anything you need her to be. In a way, she’s the perfect friend, the perfect Avenger in a way." 

ONE WEEK LATER  

You had avoided everyone as much as you could the past week. Didn’t want to get in their way or piss them off if you could help it. No one seemed to miss you anyway. There was no one checking up or asking for you. So when Fury came by to confirm your transfer and ask some questions you were out doing other things. 

"Where is (Y/N)? I need her to finish this paperwork.” Fury stated to the group. 

“She’s out, I don’t think she won’t be back till later. Why? What kind of paperwork? Maybe we can help.” Nat strolls over to him glancing at the papers. 

“I need some basic information from her like her birthday, social, and a couple more things. Though now that I think of it I could just ask FRIDAY. Pull up all general info on (Y/N) (Y/L/N) for me including social and forwarding address if available." 

It popped up on the TV screen and Sam blurted out "Wait, a forwarding address, where is she going?” Starting to panic. 

“She is taking a position in England that we offered her a while ago she will be in charge of train agents in the European offices; getting them in the first-rate condition. She declined at first but changed her mind last week; she let me know she wanted to take it." 

 They all shake their heads there was no way you would do this not without telling them. Bucky is the first to jump up furious at what he was just told. 

"What do you mean, transfer, she belongs here with us. No way is she leaving.”  He is shaking with how upset he is. 

Fury really isn’t paying attention to the upset heroes instead he is filling in your information on the sheet he has. “Oh look at that she’s a year older, that will get confusing I’ve always hated right after a birthday you have to remember that someone’s older than they were. But I guess that’s how it works. I need to get her something maybe one of you could pick it out for me? I bet Tony here threw a wonderful party for her birthday? Huh." 

Again the team freezes, "Wait her birthday passed? When?” Steve asks confused as to how any of them could have missed it.

“(Y/B/D) it was on a Saturday this year the perfect time to do something.” He jokes but looking at their faces knows something is very wrong. “You forgot?! All of you Earth’s Mightiest Heroes forgot a team members birthday! What did you do?" 

Sam answers hesitantly "We meat Bucky’s new girl that night. That's why she had gotten all dressed up. Not to meet Gabby just her birthday.” He smacks his forehead with his palm. 

“She probably thought that we were going to celebrate her birthday. She didn’t do it for Bucky, she did it for herself.” Nat says. 

Bucky blinks “What do you mean for Me? Why would she do something like that for me?" 

Tony signs "Obviously because she likes you. Not that you noticed you were too wrapped up in Miss Prissy to notice how decked out she was." 

Unbeknownst to the team, you were traveling up the elevator and the door opened to the living room just as Bucky was saying ”(Y/N) likes me?“

You froze, he wasn’t supposed to know, he was never to find out. All eyes turned to the elevator as it dinged above you. Your eyes shoot to Nat asking for an explanation. She merely shook her head indicating it wasn’t her that had told him. You don’t want to know the look on Bucky’s face whether it was pity or disappointment. Instead, you shift it to Fury, walking up to him and grabbing the papers. 

"I’m assuming you just need a signature and then I’m all ready to go, Yes?” You quickly take the papers and sign them finalizing the deal. You hand everything back to Fury while still ignoring the group that stared at you. 

“Thank you. I’ll get this all taken care of. Oh, by the way, Happy Birthday. I hope you had a wonderful day." 

"I did thank you so much.” You smile slightly at him. Walking up you kiss his cheek. Now if jaws could drop even further they would because this groups would all be on the floor by now. Never before had they seen someone kiss Fury let alone get close enough without being stopped. You turn around and head for the staircase towards your room, Fury calls out “Don’t need to lie to me, sweetheart." 

You turn back to face him a sad but knowing smile on your face. "It was a good day, I got to spend the day relaxing and then went to dinner with my family. We had a good time I got to meet someone dear to my friend we are laughed and talked. No my life wasn’t celebrated and there was no cake, but I got myself the best cupcake a girl could ask for then celebrated on the balcony overlooking the city. Did all my dreams come true? No. Did I get the guy? Never going to happen. Am I happy for him? Of course, he deserves the best in the world, even when it's not me. I still got to celebrate even if it was just me. But sometimes the only person needed to have a celebration is yourself.” You turn back around and continue on your way to your room. 

Fury glances back to the group. They now had somber looks, “You all really screwed up this time, you're going to lose her because you couldn’t see something that was right in front of you. Even worse I’m losing her. You all best make it right. That’s my girl, and I will make your life miserable if she moves. I’m going to go lose these for a while, you best have it fixed before I find it again, you hear?" 

"Yes, Sir!” Comes the unanimous and frightened reply. 

“Heroes my foot, trying to drive my favorite away. Always screwing around with my plans and my people.” He's muttering as he exits the room into the elevator. 

They end up looking at each other no one quite knowing what to do. They had messed up before but all this seemed to pale in comparison. They had driven away one of their own. Wanda was the one to speak up first. 

“Bucky, how do you feel about her? I mean really? I’m not saying that what you feel for Gabby is fake but there has always been a deep connection between the two of you something that not even some married couples achieve. I’m also not going to force you to chose her either if Gabby makes you happy go for it. She is a sweet girl. Please though give it some thought." 

Bucky’s forehead wrinkled thinking through all the thing you had done for him from calming him down from his nightmares to just sitting in silence on the couch after a long mission neither of you saying anything you just letting him rest his head against your thigh as you run your fingers through his hair. He thought of the times you made him laugh at some dumb thing you did. He also remembered the way you interacted with everyone.

Each remembers everything you had done and what stood out the most. You made yourself tailored fit to each person. With Bruce, you would make a nice cup of tea before snuggling in With a good book. Asking every once in a while how it was. You were the steadiness that he craved. For Tony, you would fiddle around in his lab handing him tools as he needed them and having late night dance off parties when the guilt and shame of the past prevented him from sleeping. 

Nat was a little difficult since you tended to have opposite tastes but there you were training with her, learning to fight but also to dance. You were never going to be a Ballerina but you liked to think that Nat could see that all that she had learned wasn’t bad she could use it to help others. Of course with Clint, it was nothing but fun and games pranking all that you could find and run away giggling. When Thor was around you would traverse this Midgar and explore the weird traditions, you humans had, Thor’s words, even if it was simply grocery shopping. At this point, Wanda and Vision were a package deal one was hardly away from the other. With them, you spent your days cooking and coming up with new recipes. But also trying to outsmart Vision the best you could. 

Sam was your go-to buddy, watching movies, playing video games, or even just chatting about how life was going. Hanging with Steve was always interesting, you had appointed yourself list completer. You did just about everything on the list with Steve and if you couldn’t you set it up for him, the where, when, and even sometimes the who. 

Bucky though, it was everything, every day he could think of a memory with you. A rock was how he would describe you; a constant person that whenever he needed something you were there to provide. Your random adventures out into the world with no real destination in mind. Now just the thought that he wouldn’t see you for even more than one day was terrifying. He pulls himself from his thoughts to see the group looking at him. 

"I can’t lose her. I don’t know what I would do without her.” His voice is trembling with fear of what may happen. 

“Then you need to go talk to her after we need to talk to her, so get her down here. We need to apologize and make her see that she is beyond needed here.” Wanda is firm, making it clear that failure is not an option. 

Bucky nods and begins his way up the stairs, towards your room. When he reaches the door he raises his hand to knock but hesitates, he doesn’t know what to say, how is he going to get you to stay after everything the group has put you through. You could leave, you had every right, they had taken so much from you never giving anything in return always just expecting more. No, not now he would give you anything you wanted. You were going to stay right here, with him. He knocked, this time determined to make you see where you truly belonged. 

The door cracked open, revealing tears traveling down your face and a pair of eyes revealing a shattered heart. You stare at him for a moment taking him in. You turn away leaving the door open knowing that he isn’t going to leave even if you wanted him to. He came into a room of boxes and thing scattered about. His hear restricted again it was real you were leaving. 

“You can’t go.” He blurted almost shouting it.  

You turn towards him. “Why not?" 

You’re tired, exhausted really you had cried yourself to sleep too many times this week. Ready to put the whole thing behind you and move on. So when you spoke it was devoid of emotion. This scared Bucky, even more, you had never spoken to him or anyone else this way. 

"I…we need you here. No, I need you here. You help keep us all together.”

“Funny thing about Jack of All Trades, yeah we may be good at almost anything we do; we are also very replaceable. You’ll find someone else just as good or even better. You think you need me now but just wait a couple of weeks you’ll forget I was even here." 

"No, we won’t. You are much more than that to us. None of could really function without you here. Who do you think keeps all the evil from crushing us. You see us as more than just superheroes. Please don’t go." 

You sign and continue to pack things into the boxes. Fear takes over Bucky as he watches to the point where he walks and tips the box spilling its contents on to the ground. 

"What are you doing!!!” You scream at him. 

“I’m not letting you go. I … I need you here with me. Not anyone else just me. I’m going to unpack everything you do so stop right now." 

"You’re making a mess that’s what you’re doing. You stop.” Exasperated at this fool. You had just finished packing those, but he continues to dump out your boxes. “Knock it off.” He keeps going. He has about two boxes left before he has effectively unpacked everything you have done. “Alright let’s talk, just stop trashing my room." 

He freezes mid tip, a smile grows on his face. He puts the box right side up. You plop down on your bed and pat the space next to you. He sets himself down and angles himself so he is facing you. 

"Why should I stay, and don’t just say cause you need me?" 

"I do need you, but the others need you as well. I didn’t realize how vital you are to me until you were walking away from me. You keep the nightmares at bay. You make me get up in the morning afterward even when I feel like the weight of everything I’ve done will crush me. No one else does that for me." 

"Wha..  what about Gabby, she makes you happy? I’ve never seen you smile like that not even when we are together." 

"That’s because it’s not that real. You aren’t paying enough attention to me when we are together. I can’t smile when we are together. Gabby is sweet but half the time I feel I have to hide part of myself so that I don’t scare her. She’s sweet and caring but she is not you. I know you would go to the ends of the earth for me and kick anyone’s butt that even insinuates that I’m not meant to be here. I don’t get that from you." 

Staring at him now, you can see how much he means with what he is saying. Why had he never said this before? Why Now? 

"I know you think that I might just be saying this because I don’t want you to leave” you not your head, “but I mean it. It’s cliche but I almost list you and I realize that I do care for you. I.. I love you, I can’t live without you. I can see a life without Gabby but without you, I can’t even wrap my head around it." 

He pauses looking at your face to see your reaction. Hoping that it is positive but scared that it’s too late for all this. You sit for a moment taking everything he has just said. 

"I… Why couldn’t you say this earlier. I just signed my transfer. It’s official now. I love you too but.." 

"Well, Fury may have chewed us out and "lost” your paperwork till we made this right with you.“ 

You can’t help it now you let out a laugh, Bucky can’t help but smile at the sound he missed it and even more, he didn’t want to lose it again. He tackled you to the bed, wrapping his body around. You wiggled trying to escape while laughing some more. He then begins to poke you in your side, causing you to laugh even harder. 

"Stop, please I’m staying, I’m staying I promise.” You’re trying to catch your breath while wiping tears away from your face. You snuggle deeper into him, enjoying the warmth and the pleasantness of the embrace. You stay like that for a while just reveling in each other. 

“Good,” he likes where you are at, right here in his arms, “we do need to move sometime. I have been tasked with bringing you downstairs so the others can talk to you. They feel bad for missing your birthday. I feel really bad, I’m your best friend and I couldn’t even remember something that important. Give me a day and I’ll make it up to you, anything you want I’ll do it. It’s your day." 

You merely nod, then unravel from him before standing up to head downstairs. He grips the side of your face taking his thumbs and wipes the remaining tears from your eyes. He kisses your forehead before releasing you to go. You take a deep breath and head out, Bucky lingers pulling out his phone to make things right. 

You head down the stairs to the living room, you go to grab Bucky’s hand for support to find him missing. Looking back around and continue down taking deep breathes. Looking into the living room you see that they are running around setting up balloons and streamers. Tony was trying to dictate where everything went and how everything looked. Wanda and Vision, were of course baking in the kitchen they were assembling the cake decorating it as best they could.

Everyone is so busy they don’t notice you on the stairs. You sit down and continue watching them, wondering how you ever thought you could leave these people. Tony pulls up the security video from the day that Gabby asked what you do. You watch them defend you and what you do, no one had a single thing wrong with you. 

You feel the tears gather again, you feel Bucky come up behind you wrapping his arms around you from the step above. All of a sudden the cake starts to tip over and a cry rings out from Wanda which causes Clint to startle on the ladder sending streamers falling and balloons to start popping. You smack a hand over your mouth to stop from laughing. It doesn’t last long as Tony starts running around before slipping on some decoration boxes he falls on his butt. The cake finally tips and falls across the counter. And Steve stares at everything happening. You can’t help it you busy out laughing bending over in half with a stitch growing in your side. You can feel Bucky behind you cracking up as well. 

  They all look oversee you collapsed on the stairs laughing. One by one they start laughing, each caught up in the moment. They all taper off when they hear a ding from the elevator. Fury steps out and looks around. 

"I don’t need these correct?” He held up your papers. All eyes shot to you. 

“No sir you don’t. They're stuck with me now.” You shake your head as cheers go up. 

Bucky leans in to whisper in your ear “I broke it off with Gabby, I’m all yours.” You shoot a look back at him just to confirm what he said, “Till the end of the line.”  You go back to looking at your friends as they stumble back up. This was the best birthday you could have asked for. 

“Happy Birthday (Y/N)!" 

Am I Enough PT 3

Bucky X Reader

Summary: Bucky has hurt you, so you run away. Seeing no other option but the team can’t just give you up. It’s time for an intervention.

Warnings: angst but now fluff

A/N: Apologizes for the long wait. I was lacking words and didn’t want the story to fall flat. We finally get a back from the angst. Some fluff for you. Enjoy!

“Who knew? Did anyone know about this? Or did everyone know and just not say anything? No, they would have told me. I don’t understand, any of this. I love you and you still did all of it. No one forced you to do it, did my love mean so little to you that… No I don’t care it’s been done and from the looks of it, it’s been done many, many times. So why couldn’t you just end it either me or her. Did you really think you would get away with it? Be able to be with  both of us until you figured out which one you wanted the most?“ 

BUCKY POV

The team had been whispering to each other, making plans, when Bucky entered a room they hush up and send him glares. Not that he could blame them, he had screwed up. In fact he wasn’t sure how he could fix it. They had left this morning stating they had mission to go on, but he wasn’t allowed to come. He watched them leave turning back to the now near empty living quarters. 

He had taken Sam’s advice seriously, and from what he could see, was only (Y/N). Every place he sat and went was a memory of them or her. The bench in the park as he went on his run. She had been sitting there when he had gotten distracted and tripped landing face first in front of her. He remembered the snort that came out of her mouth quickly followed by her hand covering her mouth, before she quickly got up and offered him a hand up. He got pulled into the memory of their first meeting.

“Sir, are you alright?” She offered her hand to him, pulling him up. He brushed himself off. “Oh dear you’ve scrapped your knees let me find you a bandaid." 

While she turned he took her in, she wasn’t anything special to look at. Her (Y/H/C) hair fell in her face as she scrounged through her bag looking. From the brief glimpse as she pulled him up, her eyes were a nice shade of (Y/E/C). She was dressed causally nothing too fitted but not baggy, she looked comfy. 

 She started to pull things out of her bag still digging. Finally pulling out a bag she forced him to sit. Insisting she help him. If only she knew who she was talking to, a freaking soldier, and assassin that had always had to fix himself up. You had him patched and quickly packed you bag. Scurrung away from him, only leaving him with a view of your backpack. 

That darn bag it was almost attached to her, he remembered. The bag would change from time to time but you were seldom without it. She always said "You never know when you’re going to need something." 

More times than not she had something to help everyone. Tissues, wipes, and even a few games for when they got stuck somewhere. The team had quickly started to rely on her for the things you needed. (Y/N) became an essential for all Avenger outings, he recounted the many ways she worked to become each person’s friend. Creating something unique for each one, something that was strictly between the two. 

Bucky had tried to keep her a secret at first not really wanting to share his new friend with the team. She was something so normal and yet so perfect, the way she handled the things he told her, to treating him like everyone else. He was just another person, another friend she could have. 

So where had he got wrong where had he messed up and thought he could use you like he did? 

(Y/N) POV

You stretched, sore from sleeping in a slightly awkward position. Suddenly you felt arms around you tightening from you stirring. You crack your eyes open, heavy from the crying and itchy from dryness, your gaze is met by Steve. 

"Hey you’re awake." 

You nod moving to sit up. It’s then that there is a subtle noise filling your apartment. Turning your head you are met with the team stuffed in your room. Sam is even half in the bathroom to make room. You widen your eyes trying to take them in. You turn back to Steve checking that what you really see is true and not just a figment. Though from how each is behaving they are without a doubt real. 

They turn to look at you taking you in. "Not that I didn’t miss you guys but what are you all doing in my house?" 

"We’re on a mission!” Tony states stepping forward. 

“Huh, what kind of mission?” You ask, you didn’t think there was a Hydra base around here, but wouldn’t put it past them. 

“A really important mission. We are calling it Operation: Get (Y/N) Back and Beat Barnes Up For What He Did.” He states proudly. The rest if the team is shaking their heads obviously they hadn’t agreed to the name or all the details in the plan. 

You really had nothing to say to that. You couldn’t help but feel joy at the fact that they had come to get you, choosing you over Bucky. Steve presses on your shoulder turning your attention back to him. 

“Excluding what Tony said, you are our friend and we are here to help you. I know Bucky hurt you, I’m not condoning any of his actions but you didn’t have to leave like you did. Do you know how worried we were to suddenly find you had disappeared? You took all your things and left. I get you didn’t want to stay but you could’ve at least told us you were going.” He has put on his Captain America voice and firmly holding you so you don’t look away. By the end all you can do is nod, no you shouldn’t have done it. But there was a part of you that was glad you did. 

Tony claps his hands, drawing attention once again to himself. “Now that that’s all settled let’s get you packed up and back to New York.” The team starts to move, collecting items near them. 

“Whoa,” you stand holding up your hands to cease all further movement. “Who said I was going anywhere, I happen to have a two month lease and right now I don’t really feel like going back to New York. This is where I live now." 

They stare at you like you had grown a third head, "But the operation, we came to get you.” Tony says swinging his hands to indicate the team. 

“I know and I’m glad you did but,” you hold up you’re hand to stop Tony from speaking, “What he did to me doesn’t go away that quickly. He meant everything to me every single spot in Manhattan, heck all of New York City reminds me of him. I can’t just go back, let alone see him." 

Sam comes forward now, making Tony back up. "We aren’t asking for you to forgive him, we just hate to see you separate yourself and give up your life because of what he did.” He can see you getting agitated shaking your head. You couldn’t go back not yet. “(Y/N) let’s take a walk. Alright? It’s getting a little crowded and warm in here.”

You nod, taking the hand he has offered you. You head out walking to a park. You come to a bench sit down, Sam next to you. Quiet settles over the two of you, until you remember first meeting Bucky. 

“You know,” Sam perks up leaning toward you slightly. “Bucky and I first met in a park like this. I was sitting on a bench, I had a random day off and decided to take in a little nature. So there I am reading when he comes and trips over himself landing right in front of me. You should have seen him, faceplant right there, so of course I laughed. I felt bad and had to cover it up. When I pulled him up, man, the sun hit his eyes just right and it took my breath away." 

You got drawn into the memory, but continue to speak, forgetting for a moment everything that has happened since. 

"He was handsome, drop dead gorgeous, and I remember thinking that this must be some sort of prank because this doesn’t happen to girls like me. It happens in the movies or to the pretty girls. I had to look down, didn’t want to get caught up in something that could never happen. Huh, I should have kept to that thinking shouldn’t I?” She chuckled to herself before continuing. “I noticed he was bleeding so I went to my bag for bandaids. As luck would have it I couldn’t find them. So there I was embarrassing myself with this gorgeous man because I couldn’t find a stupid box of bandaids.

Sam laughs at this, this was so different from the way Bucky told the story. From his account you had saved his life single handedly with that bag of your. 

"I finally found them, had to make him sit down before I could put them on. He was stubborn wanted to do it himself. He didn’t quite know that I’m just as stubborn as he is. After I fixed him up I patted his leg and told him all good to go. It was then I realized I had put on princess bandaids. Man, if a person could die of embarrassment I would have then. I packed my bag up and scurried away before he noticed." 

Sam is laughing, your version was so much better than Bucky’s. He remembered that day, heck he was the one that pointed them out. He had complimented him on his taste in first aid bandages. He had just looked down saying someone had helped him. He went on to wear them for the rest of the day not caring about any other comments. 

You grew quite after your heart clenching painfully as you see how far you had come. This time it was Sam that broke the air. "I can’t possibly understand what you’re going through, but I’m here to help. I need you to believe that and to let me. Bucky wasn’t right in any fashion for what he did. Everyone knows that, but the reason they came here is because they didn’t want to lose you. They have lost so much, after knowing you and you becoming a friend to each of us, we aren’t going to just give you up. We are going to fight to make this right. You belong back with us. If you need time they will respect that, they may not agree but they will understand why.” He looks at you gauging your reaction to his words before continuing. 

“When you left it felt like we had lost someone all over again. That is hard, especially when in the business we are in one of may not come back. It is almost an unspoken rule to not get attached to anything or anyone outside of what we do. But you were an exception. You didn’t really give us an option for it either. I can’t count the number of times you have been there for me personally. Every hard mission, every life event you were a phone call or less away. I can’t thank you enough. I won’t lose that with you. I want … no need you to come back. I am though willing to wait for you because you mean that much to me." 

He leans over taking you into his arms, you realize that your crying. When you had left you hadn’t thought about how it would effect your friends. You needed them just as much as they needed you. You really didn’t have as close as friends as them anywhere else. 

"I’m sorry.” You sob to him clinging to his form. 

“Hey none of that you cry I’m going to cry. You don’t want to see me cry.” He rubs your back, gently shushing you. You relax in his grip as the tears slow but you don’t let go, not yet. You needed his comfort and his understanding. 

Time passes and you separate taking a deep breath. You look at him seeing his smile and triggering one of your own. 

“There’s my girl. Now let’s get you home and kick all these people out and grab some grub.” You chuckle and nod in agreement. 

Heading back to your apartment with Sam beside you, arm wrapped over your shoulder you knew you would be OK it would just take time. The best part was though was the friends you would have beside you. 

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