Am I Enough PT 12

Am I Enough PT 12

Bucky X Reader

Summary: Things can’t go on like they have it’s time to change some things.

A/N: Hello All, I have had a rough month with writing no real motivation. But as today was my birthday today so I got my butt in gear and write this chapter enjoy. Also get ready for confrontations.

Y/N POV

Getting out of the tower turned out to be the greatest idea ever. Especially when it was with someone that you weren’t mad at. Steve and you spent the day galavanting about the city. You went sightseeing, Steve explained how things were back then, everything had changed of course. There was, of course, some shopping to be done, but it was nic-nacs little souvenirs from today’s travels. Your biggest find was a stuffed plush you had gotten from the aquarium, your favorite sea creature. The best find though was from a little shop that carried Avengers items. You had found it tucked in the back of the shop on the clearance rack. It had Tony wrote all over it, a red and gold mug stating The Stark Truth: Party All Night, Invent All Day, and A Little Love In Between with a picture of Iron Man on the other side. You had giggled the whole time. You couldn’t wait to give it to him when you got back.

It must have been a sightseeing Steve carrying this ginormous stuff you through the main lobby of the Avengers Tower. You had caught a few bug eyes yourself, you merely giggled while pulling Steve along a little faster eager to get home. The elevator ride was animated as you discussed the success of your day. You were both struggling to breathe, you were laughing so hard when the doors opened to the main living room. Clint was lounging with Natasha on the couch flipping through channels. Sam was talking to Wanda while pulling a massive sandwich towards him. He stopped it halfway there when you entered, letting lettuce and tomatoes fall out the back.

“What the heck is that?” Clint flips around on the couch leaning towards it. He is making grabby hands at it.

“This,” you say setting your other bags down to take the stuffy from Steve, keeping it well away from Clint. “This is my new boyfriend, Mr. Snickelfrits.” You pull him in and cuddle your face in the fur.

“Oh, give up on the human race I see, well darn shame. Let me see him. Wanna make sure he’s good enough for my girl.” He reaches out again to inspect the new boyfriend.

You can’t help but giggle handing the plush over. Clint takes the animal and gives it a few squeezes testing his worth. Then he straightens he is to get a good frontal look. “Hmm, good bone structure, clear eyes, don’t see nothing crazy here. Sufficiently lean, for now, might want to keep an eye out on it though. I know his kind.” He thrusts Mr. Snicklefrits down on the coffee table. “Now see here young man, you got yourself a good woman here. I don’t want to hear about any slacking off on your part you hear. I know how your kind works, getting lumpy and popping stitches after so long. Well, I won’t hear of it.”

He continues to educating him while the others laugh. You’re laughing the hardest by far loving every moment. You’re so caught up you don’t see the others gazes meeting around you. It was good to hear that laugh again to see the smile that splits your face. It had been too long for any of them.

You finally catch your breath and save your poor boyfriend from Clint's grasp. “All right leave him alone. He will take perfect care of me. Now if you will excuse me for a moment I need to get him comfy in my room.”

“Wow, at that stage already. Moving pretty quick don’t you think?” Clint called after you. You merely stuck your tongue out at him, continuing to your room.

Mr. Snicklefrits settled you head back to the living room, where you find the group chatting quietly to each other. Natasha sees you first and quickly changes whatever subject they were talking about. You decide to ignore it for now. They had been meddling a lot recently but maybe they were finally catching on that it wasn’t going to end well. Marching up you through yourself onto the couch between them.

“OK weirdos, what are we doing tonight?” You shift your head from side to side searching for answers in their faces. Most looked down looking slightly guilty, some attempting to pull off the innocent look. It was not working, you were, however, going to let it slide for now.

“Hey ho, people,” Tony storms into the room completely missing the atmosphere. “It’s time to get our groove on we to have a game night! Go get ready!” He starts to show people out of the room. They were all more than eager to escape the room with a good excuse to leave.

“Tony!” You get up skittering over to the side table for his gift. “I got you something while we were out.” You thrust the package into his hands as you approached him. You watched him unwrap it while bouncing on your toes, hardly containing the excitement of seeing his reaction.

He pulled out, taking a moment before throwing his head back in a full belly laugh. You couldn’t help but giggle along with him, knowing you hit the jackpot with the gift. He quickly grabs you into a hug, forcing all air out of your lungs. You squeeze him back for a second before tapping his back indicating your need to breathe.

“Well, I totally won that one.” You say with a giant smirk on your face.

“You did indeed! Now, anything you need to make your self more comfortable?” He said morning to your current attire. You nod and head back to your room changing into one of your comfiest pair of yoga pants and a loose t-shirt.

Heading back to the living room you see a giant stack of games has been set on a table along with snacks galore on another. The group was chatting around the bar each grabbing drinks and chatting. Joining them you go to fix yourself a drink when a glass is a slide in front of you already full and rest to go. You send a sidelong glance towards the person to bequeath you the drink. Bucky sends you a small smile, you can see the hope in his eyes silently pleading for you to take the drink as a show of peace for the evening. You pick it up and sip, of course, it is perfect, just like every time before. You nod to him accepting.

Turning you find the majority have sat down and munched on snacks. They had left 2 seats open of course right next to each other. You sigh shaking your head while grabbing a plate of food for yourself. You sit and join the current argument on which games are to be played. Nat and Bucky are arguing for a card game, which came with protests of them being really good at cheating. Bruce and Tony also being able to count cards. Thor was confused and called for the simple games like the Go Fish and Finding the Old Maid with no name.

You laugh at their antics while quietly getting up and choosing a board game. Selecting your favorite you quickly return and set the box down. The others continue to rant while Bucky sends you another smile helping you set up the game and get all the appropriate pieces. They have finally noticed that a game has appeared before them and you and Bucky are quietly chatting over your cards. A little trash talk and a little plan of action.

Noises of agreement go around all once again sharing looks of accomplishment with each other. The game begins and you rotate through your turns. Throughout you find the usual stubborn people are giving in a little too quickly and Bucky is standing up for your choices a little too often. You feel a small twitch growing in your eye.

Games get traded for others, while funny stories get passed around. It’s pretty much how all your game night go. Bucky is practically your butler waiting on you hand and foot. Drink need to be refilled, done. More food, done. Piece or card on the floor, not even a chance to bend over before Bucky has returned it to you. The first twitch goes off after about the 6th time he asks if you need anything in an hour. You merely shake your head at him.

On the 4th game for the night, you’ve noticed a shift in the stories. Most of them containing time when Bucky and yourself were together. Everyone just keeps going, building it up. The twitch gets worse, the sighs more frequent.

It wasn’t that they weren’t good stories but did they have to be so obvious about their plan to get you and Bucky back together. It was the final straw when you got up to pick a new game. You headed to the table glancing at each trying to pick. You heard whispering behind you followed by a scrape from a chair. Bucky had joined you in picking a game.

“Do you need any help?” He whispers. You grip the table while dropping your head to the table in a vain attempt to calm yourself down. Muttering that he was just trying to help and the others were forcing him. You catch him shooting a look back towards the main table.

They must have signaled at him because he followed with, “Are you feeling ok?” You felt the snap, heck Bucky probably heard it. He could see the way your back went ramrod straight and your breathing became heavy.

“Go sit down.” It was more of a mumble really, your last ditch effort to remain calm. Of course, this is not understood by the super soldier. He reaches a hand out placing it on your shoulder. You flip around knocking it off you while turning to the group. Of course, this would have been easier if it wasn’t his metal arm on you. You had swung so fast you were sure a bruise and maybe a cracked bone in your hand now. You clutch your hand to your chest, bouncing on your toes like it would alleviate some of the pain.

Bucky began to fuss, focusing on making the pain go away, eyes panicked with raised eyebrows. His hand flirted about you looking for a place to hold. Since the group had already been blatantly staring anyway they rose to assist.

“Sit down, damn it.” You scream at them, finally coming to a standstill. No one headed your words, still coming towards you. You shuffle backward. “I said sit down, now sit! You as well.” You motion to Bucky. He carefully retreats not wishing to anger you further.

“I know this may come as a surprise to you, but I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I can pick a game out on my own. I am quite good at obtaining my own food. I don’t need to wait on hand and foot. I've not broken anymore.” There was a collective in the draw of air. You shoot all of them a glare freezing any words about to come out. “No, nope don’t even speak right now. I am so frustrated with you all right now.” You point your finger at Bucky staring him down making sure he would understand what you were about to say next. “You best make note of everything I’m about to say cause this is where we stand right now.” You scan over the rest of the group, some were innocent in all this but best get it all out at once to prevent future issues.

“Yes, Bucky and I have broken up. Yes, he did cheat on me with Natasha. Yes, I did run away for a little while. Yes, I was broken and confused on how to go on with my life. It seemed like the best choice at the time. Even though none of you listened to me you still came after me and I thank you for that. Who knows what would be happening right now if you didn’t. That being said I’m doing alright, I’m working through it with the help of you guys keeping me busy and entertained. The meddling has to stop.” There was a chorus of protests going up, but you shushed them. “Yes, you are don’t try to deny it. For a group of superheroes and spys, you aren’t good at hiding this kind of things. You’re so obvious about it, especially tonight. I need you guys to stop now. I need Bucky to show me himself that he is capable of fixing this, whatever this ends up being. Let him prove it on his own.” You glance at the man himself. “I’m not saying you can’t get advice or ideas from them, but I want it to be you. I’m tired of every single meal or event has to be some staged intervention. Tony is a perfect example, forcing Nat and me to go on one of the most awkward lunches ever. I’m not ready for that yet, yes I may need a shove eventually but that is on Natasha and how much she may or may not value our friendship. Just stop please with the plans. It’s their mistake to fix not yours.”

You huff once more before turning back to the table to blink the tears out of your eyes, your hand still throbbing. You loved them all to death, it just killed you that they couldn’t seem to understand how much this hurt you. You feel a hand upon your shoulder, Tony slowly turns you into his chest resting his chin on your head.

“Sorry Kiddo, we didn’t mean to make you feel this way. We’ll stop interfering and let whatever happens to happen. Now can we check out your hand, you’re bleeding.”

You pull your hand up to see the top scrapped up and a blueish purple tint forming. You pull a sheepish smile, nodding in agreement. Bruce and Tony lead you away to the med lab for a quick look. The doctor looks you over and tells you, you’ve cracked the 3 middle fingers in your hand. He gives you some pain. Meds and instructions to properly care for your brace and send you off.

It’s now about 2 am and people are still lounging around playing games. Sam sees you exit the elevator, quickly running over pulling you into a hug.

“Man I knew you were a special kinda stupid but really, though you could beat Bucky’s arm in a slap fight.” Pushing you away to examine the rest of you. You shack tour head with a laugh. One by one they all get a hug followed by an apology, though Thor apologized for no reason other than eating your snacks.

“Alright, I think we’ve had enough excitement for tonight let’s all get to bed. Including you Kiddo.”

You’re left with a squirming Natasha and Bucky. You couldn’t help but fidget as well this was the first time you had been alone with the both of them.

“I’m sorry,” Bucky speaks up first. “I just didn’t want to screw up the chance you're giving me. You’re right though this is my problem and I want to fix it. I shouldn’t have related on them to fix it for me.”

“It’s alright I know why you did it, you know how they like to go overboard with things.” He chuckles and nods. “Bucky,” He lifts his head eager to please you. “I know you can do it, you did it the first time you can do it again.” He nods once more and passes you gently patting your shoulder.

“Oh and Bucky, this” you raise your hand and indicate the bandages, “not your fault. You do have a tendency to take the blame for things that can’t be helped. I shouldn’t have lashed out as I did. My temper got the best of me.” He gives his now signature nod and continues towards his room.

Going back to Nat, you take a small breath. She though beat you to the punch. “Thank you, for giving me another shot, I don’t know why in my ever mind I thought to separate you two was a good idea.” You go to interrupt her. She holds up her hand halting all protests. “Please just let me get this out.” You nod signaling her to continue. “I…I was jealous pure and simple. You had everything I wanted, down to the stupid little problems and I wanted that. Your relationship with Bucky and just complaining about little things from the office. I’ve never been jealous like this before, not with something so pure. I guess I was of you both. Bucky got the perfect relationship, with the normal love. I wanted it so bad it hurt. You had the guy who treated you like you were a Goddess and I wanted that. I’m not trying to reason with you make you forgive me. I want you to know how grateful I am that you still let me in your life and are giving me a chance to prove I was and am your friend and I will do anything to get that back with you. Please just tell me what to do to make it possible.” She had tears building in her eyes, her voice cracking several times while speaking.

Emotion runs through you, you want your best friend back. Every piece that made up its crazy self. From the shopping to the late-night talks with mountains of candy. Heck, you would even take being thrown to the mats a few times. There was this fear though that what happened before would happen again. You couldn’t just throw yourself wholeheartedly in it again.

“Its like I’ve told Bucky and the others, I need time. I can’t go straight back but I’m willing to try taking small steps. Maybe a couple lunches with Wanda or the others. I want my friend back, someone to talk to and gossip with I miss you but I can’t commit right now.”

She nods her head eager just like Bucky to make up. “I’ll do it anything and I’ll do it myself.”

She rushes up to you, pulling you into a bone-crushing hug. “Thank you for the chance.” Letting you go she retreats to her room. Sam comes out a few seconds later wrapping an arm around you.

“That was very brave, few would be willing to give it a shot like you have.” You shift to wrap your arms around his waist pulling yourself close.

“Just tell me I’m not making a mistake with this. I don’t want to hurt again but I want what I had before.”

He runs his hands up and down your back soothing your nerves. “I can’t, but I think you have two people that also want that just as much and are willing to work for it. You can’t take that for granted. It will all work out in the end. Life doesn’t come without pain though I can tell you that.”

Giving your arms a pat he leads you to the couch. Pulling up a movie you both cuddle with each other. You are quick to drift off, pain meds pulling you under quickly. You find yourself stretches out next to Sam, with the opening credits to whatever chosen movie begins to play.

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Am I Enough PT 10

Bucky X Reader

Summary: It’s movie night! And the start of Operation Happy Ending.

warnings: little fluff, little angst

A/N: A thousand apologies for the delay. I started working more and I’m pretty sure the heat here is melting my brain making me unable to function. Anyway, I am doing my best to write these chapters but not make them crap. Patience is always appreciated. Thank you for reading.

Side Note: I have had a couple questions about a MASTERLIST. I have no idea how to make one. Also, I do all my work on my phone so if it seems weird or what not let me know I will try to fix it. Also if someone would be willing to teach me how to make said master list I would appreciate it!

Bucky POV

It’s all set up ready to go, the first phase of Operation Happy Ending is a go. The room has been set up to make a moviegoers dream. All (Y/N)’s favorite movies and snacks are laid out. He has commandeered her blanket and pillow setting up her own personal viewing spot, or throne as Tony is calling it. Everyone gets settled waiting for her arrival, Bucky is antsy hoping she likes what she sees.

Finally strolling in, clad in her most comfy pajamas, she takes in the area. Bucky jumps up and rushes her. He stops a couple feet before making sure to give her space.

“Hi, um… Thanks for coming.” He mentally slaps himself, really that’s what he’s going with. “I got your favorites, also I kinda stole… no took your blanket you can sit here, or you know wherever you want, you don’t have to sit here. Oh and your pillow as well, wanted you to be comfortable.” He could just die of embarrassment now, stuttering and make a downright fool of himself.

“Thanks, Bucky.” She can’t help the smile that creeps to her face with how awkward Bucky is being. “I think though that I picked last time so why don’t you pick. But nothing too sappy Ok?” He nods his head vigorously, practically giving himself whiplash while doing it.

He shuffles to the movies, he panics not knowing what to pick. He swings his eyes to the group trying to figure it out. Sam comes to the rescue starting a debate on what to watch. They go back and forth until Die Hard comes out on top.

“I hope you all don’t expect me to eat all this. I know I like these but there is a lot here.” As if on cue everyone lunges forward plucking up snacks.

Bucky turns back from the Bluray player and pauses unsure now of where to sit. Seeing his dilemma (Y/N) gently pats the spot next to her. He sits but not too close to cause discomfort, but not too far to seem like he didn’t want to be there.

As the movie starts he is as stiff as a board. Not moving in case he upsets you in some way. He doesn’t reach for any snacks either. Hearing a faint chuckle from her his head turns questioning what was going on. She leans over to him.

“If you wanna prove we can work, you might want to relax a little. It kind of seems like you don’t want to be here.” She moves back. Releasing the breath he didn’t know he was holding he sinks into the couch. Telling himself to chill out, be cool. He lays his arm across the back of the love seat.

As the movie goes on she starts to stretch out, her feet inching closer and closer to him. By the halfway point they are in his lap his other arm slung over top. Every once in a while she would glance at him indicating she wanted another treat. He is more than happy to oblige.

When the movie is over the light fade up. She tense as the others look around and stretch in their seats. Quickly removing her feet and sitting up. She doesn’t make eye contact with him simply standing and muttering a quiet Thank you and good night. He sits confused as to what happened. It went well she even let him sit next to her.

“Give it time Barnes. This was a good start, she probably just felt like it was rushed. That’s the one thing both of you can’t afford to do.” Tony pats his shoulder as he exits. Bucky nods even though no one can see and begins to clean up the room.

He is met with a pair of hands helping him. He looks up seeing Nat collecting open bags of food. She smiles timidly. Jerking his hands back her smile fades. He couldn’t be alone with her that would send the wrong message.

“I want to help. I need my best friend back as much as you want your girl back. I promise nothing more.” She holds her hands up still full of things and shakes her head.

He eyes her for a moment before he nods. No more words are shared between them. Just another silent truce with each other. With the room looking spotless they nod to each other before parting ways.

He continued to his room, thinking over the evening and what happened. For the most part, it went well, she seemed to have enjoyed herself. Why though had she pulled away when the lights come up? Tony had some truth I what he said of course. He was just going to have to be careful around her. Maybe he needed to do more. Suddenly it came to him, the perfect idea something not too big but showed how much he appreciated her willingness to go with his crazy ideas.

He left his room once more in search of supplies.

(Y/N) POV

Sunlight streamed through your window, falling directly over your eyes. For a moment you wanted to be grumpy. The darn sun always waking people up! You turn to burrow your face into your pillow. Suddenly the details of the evening before come back. It forms a small smile on your face.

You had a blast last night, in all honesty, it was the first time you had truly been relaxed since you got back. This whole time you had been focused on putting up this appearance like everything was ok. That everything that happened, yes made you mad but otherwise didn’t affect you. To have that weight lifted, no matter how temporary, was amazing.

You sit up stretching, taking a couple deep breaths. It was going to be a good morning. You walk to your door heading out for breakfast when you pause to see a balloon staring at you. It was plain nothing in it just a vivid (Y/F/C). You follow it down to see a breakfast tray, it is filled with really anything you could possibly imagine wanting for breakfast. On the side though is a small vase with a single (Y/F/F). Leaning against it is a card with your name on it. You bend to pick up the tray bringing it to the bed before you settle in. Opening the envelope you gently pull the card. The outside simply says “Thank You”. You had a feeling who it was from and the thought made you quickly pry open the letter. There is his handwriting, scratchy but much better than his usual writing.

Dear (Y/N),

Thank you for joining me last night for a movie and snacks. I really enjoyed your company. It was a pleasure to sit next to you and also enjoy your treats together. I hope I wasn’t to forward with you at the end of the movie. I was just very excited to be able to spend time with you again. As you can see I have made you a quite a selection of breakfast for you. Please enjoy and rest easy for the morning. I would also like to take this time to invite you on a shopping adventure with me and whomever you would like to tag along as well. It doesn’t have to be today, just let me know and I’ll be ready.

Yours Truly,

James Barnes

If someone had walked in they would have seen a radiant smile splitting your face. He was just so awkward and sweet all at the same time. Writing a thank you card just for a movie night. It was different but so him at the same time. You wondered how many cards had been tossed till he got the right words down.

Thinking back though you had been cold to him after the movie. You got so caught up in the movie that you forgot for a moment the things that had passed between you. Your smile fades, in a way it kind of felt like he was trying to buy you back. Bribe you with your favorites and his knowledge of things you liked to do. You close the card, it wasn’t going to be that simple. You pace your room, fuming at his audacity thinking to win you over this way, he was a fool. He hadn’t even explained why everything happened yet, let alone give you answers for anything you asked during your fights. You flip the card over onto the tray as it flutters you see more writing on the back.

P.S.

I know I upset you yesterday and I’m not trying to win you back by merely giving you your favorite things. I just lack the words to tell you, to explain how badly I screwed up. I want to show you that even though you may never forgive me, that you may move on, I’ll still be your Bucky, willing to do whatever it takes to get you back no matter how long that takes.”

You shake your head, he always did seem to know what you were thinking and how you would react. Also, it would be a shame to let this breakfast go to waste. You hunker down again chowing down into the breakfast.

A knock sounds at your door, you tell them to enter. Sam’s head pops out, taking in the scene before strolling all the way in plopping himself onto your bed.

“Well good morning sunshine. Didn’t see you for breakfast got concerned. But here you are with a small stash all for yourself. Greedy much?” He leans over and snatches a grape.

“Woah hands off, pal. Bucky happened to make this for me.” You attempt to shoo him away though it didn’t work as he grabs a couple more things from the tray.

He raises an eyebrow at you. “Oh really?” You nod and pass over the note. He reads quickly, “I wonder how much paper he went through to get this?”

“That’s what I said! It’s so proper and polite. Definitely not like him.”

“He probably looked it up on the internet. Though it sounds like he is trying to win you back by spending time and doing everything you love.”

You pull the card from him flipping it around so he could see the other side.

“Scratch that he does know you inside and out, but it’s good to know that’s not what he intended. Have you guys talked yet?” You shake your head. “Of course you haven’t. Well, I think the only thing that will help is talking. Get everything out there.”

“I just, I get so angry and sad when I see him. I really just want to punch him and call him names. I don’t know how to do it.” You shake your head the whole thing seems like a lost cause to you.

“Well this is your olive branch from him, you’re going to be spending time together, you’ll know what to do when the time comes.” He rises from the bed snatching a whole plate of goodies as he goes.

“Oh way to be cryptic, thanks for that Buddha. Stop stealing my food!!” You lunge after him.

“Nope this is your consultation fee, I the great Falcon do not come free.” He laughs and quickly leaves devouring the food as he went.

You throw your head back against the pillows, huffing. Well, no time like the present. Cleaning up you exit your room and head to the kitchen. Wanda is the only one present at the moment, quietly sipping on her orange juice.

“Hey Wanda, good morning.”

“Hello (Y/N), you're up late today.”

“Yeah, Bucky made me a humongous breakfast this morning.”

“Oh?” She raises her eyebrow, exactly like Sam in fact.

“Yeah it was good,” you switch topics not wanting the exact same thing said to you again. “ So speaking of him, Bucky invited me to go shopping, I was wondering if you would mind joining us?” You peak up at her from where you are washing your dishes. You try not to look too desperate for someone to join you.

She is studying you, “You think that’s a good idea? I mean only yesterday you were yelling at each other. Practically threatening to scratch his eyes out.”

“Well yeah, he wants a second chance and I figured I could at least try, maybe be friends with him again. That’s also why I want you there, make sure he’s not pulling anything over on me. I mean I was going to see if anyone else wanted to join us as well.”

She keeps looking at you. You’re not sure if she’s trying to decide if she wants to go or if you have gone completely insane overnight.

“I don’t want to seem like a naysayer, I just want you to be careful. We all saw how much it hurt you when he made you leave. I can’t watch you go through that again. This could just be a phase, maybe seeing you back he regrets it now but what about down the line. Also, Natasha and he haven’t spoken or interacted since you got back what happens when they do?”

You pause what you're doing she had valid points, as far as you knew this was just temporary. “Your right and I don’t want to get hurt like that again. Maybe that’s part of why I pulled back last night. But I want this to work. I want him back I do. Since I left and especially this morning, he knows me almost too well. I was reminded of all the good times and when he was there for me when I needed him. He knows everything the when, where, and how much. I feel like if I don’t let him try it’s throwing all that away. I need to give him this chance. I just want to believe he loves me and always has.”

You were crying bearing your soul to her. You wanted so bad for this to work out. For him to realize the mistake he made and never let you go again. You didn’t want to hurt and no more tears. You wanted to be someone’s true love again, to have that person that completes you so seamlessly.

Wanda swiftly moves around the counter taking you in her arms. Letting you cry out all the pain and anguish of the love you had lost. Guiding you to the couch she rocks you, gently rubbing her hands up and down your back. You fall into the occasional whimper and sniffle.

Still holding you, “Why don’t we try this? Next month is your birthday so we need to find you an outfit. We can go shopping next weekend. This way Bucky has more time to adjust to you being here. We can see if he goes running off to Natasha or if he is serious. That and you can start building your relationship from the bottom, spend time don’t just leave when he is in the room. Have those needed conversations. Then next Saturday we all go out and have some fun. We can even take Nat.” You jerk slightly at the idea. “Yes, you will have to deal with her eventually. I can tell you though that she is truly sorry and wants to make it up to you.”

You nod your head taking it all in. “Good! Now let’s move on with our day. I believe Tony wanted your assistance in the lab. Something about needing a guinea pig slash evil sidekick.”

Wiping your tears, you draw Wanda in hugging her tight. “Thank you. It’s probably the latter. Tony was finding a job for me, I think mostly to keep me close but I also I need something to do.”

“Perfect, go get changed because your whole look right now does not scream evil side kick right now.” She chuckles and pushes you toward your room.

“You’re right, this reads more lazy assistant. Oh wait, I should let Bucky know about next Saturday.”

“I got it, plus I’m headed to the gym anyway. That’s where the most likely is.”

Rushing to your room you dress and hustle to the lab. With each step, you grow a little more confident in your future. Everything would work out in the end and your friends would be there to help you through it all.

Entering the lab you are greeted, “Come pinky, it is time to take over the Wolrd!”

@veronicalei @ohlookfanfiction @theassetseyeliner @bustanut2k17 @luckynumber1213 @owhatshername1 @chipilerendi @caelestiside @anbrax5553 @fandom-writes @boundtomyfate @annie-are-you-okay @megs4real @marvelous-imagining @mizzzpink @coffeeismylife28 @yknott81 @chameerah @stevette60 @genlovesdcb @loveyourselfcreateyourself @winter-in-wakanda @buckyappreciationsociety @sammysgirl1997 @unicornqueen05 @sexyashmike @magpiemischief @steggy4ever @greeneyedgirls4 @melconnor2007 @iamwarrenspeace @justreadingfics @buckyismyaesthetic @gondorgirl01 @winterbuttmunch @s7sense @kjs-s @couchpotato24-7 @saysay125 @magellan-88 @sweetlittlepieandberrycustard

Am I Enough PT 7

Bucky X Reader

Summary: A fire brings the group back together. How will things play out with Bucky and will his feelings hold strong?

Warnings: Fluff, overstimulated avengers, little angst.

A/N: SUPRISE!! I finished it early. This is a little long so beware. Also, I hope it isn’t repetitive I wanted to display both sides of the story, so let me know if it worked.

“You’re a jerk you know that? You make me feel all these things for you and then rip it away from me. Tell me, did you enjoy it? Enjoy leading me on, was it some sick game to you two? ‘Oh look, let’s see how long I can string her along before she realizes it all means nothing.’ Well, I’m happy I could entertain you. Gah, I was so stupid for believing any of it. I can barely look at you now.”

Bucky POV

After the call came in he started to freak out a little. She was coming back, how was he supposed to act. He knew he had to prove himself to the others and her but… but what? Did he go meet her at the hanger? Should he try to apologize? Maybe he should just stay out of the way?

He decided that staying away would be best, when the next call came, announcing she was about to land, everyone practically ran to the elevator. Each trying to be the first to see her. He stayed back, he had decided maybe the subtle way, was the best way. So dinner for the group it was. Pulling out the necessary equipment he got to work. Choosing what to make was relatively easy, he remembered always catch a small smile and an obvious twinkle in (Y/N)’s eyes when people announced pasta for dinner. She had a weakness for warm bread and (Y/F/S).

He had just put the water on when he heard the clamor from the living room, all of them practically tumbling out the elevator, one talking over the others. They craved her attention, she had a goofy smile on her face as they each tried to one-up the other with their stories. Suddenly she glances over, eyes connecting with his. She pauses in her step, briefly taking him in. Man, he wants to go over there to hug her but before he can, she simply sends him a small nod before proceeding to the couch with the others.

He blinks what had just happened, there was no way she should be acknowledging his presence. He thought she wouldn’t even want to see him, ignore he even existed. Feeling his blood begin to boil he pauses dinner, maybe she wasn’t as upset about the breakup. She had made it seem like it was this big deal this irreparable harm to her and she was smiling at him.

Wait no, he shakes his head, she has to be putting up a front. Trying not to ruin her reunion with her friends. He sighs to himself, how can he believe she didn’t care anymore? Why was he so angry right now? She just got back he was trying to fix all of this. Focusing back on dinner he didn’t hear Sam walk into the kitchen.

“What’s going through that head of yours?” Sam asks leaning against one of the counters arms folded.

“Too much.” Bucky is surprised by how open he is with Sam nowadays. Usually, he would go to his automatic reply, nothing. He turns to Sam studying him, what was it that made him open up to this guy so easily.

“What I got something on my face?” He runs his hands over it trying to wipe away whatever was there. Bucky simply shakes his head. “We can talk about it later if you want? I was just seeing if I could help you with dinner.”

He has a knowing grin on his face. Revealing that he knew exactly why Bucky was doing all of this. He nods and directs him to the bread, garlic bread was high on her list of favorites. They work in silent tandem, each knowing what the other was doing and moving on to the next task without asking. Every once in a while Bucky would look up, making sure she was still there, fearing she changed her mind and fled once more. He couldn’t help the pause in his actions at moments when she would let out a laugh, one that practically split her face. They listened to the team continue to yammer away, it made both of them smile knowing how much (Y/N) was loved here in the group.

With the table set up and dinner is placed on the table, everyone files in. There is a brief scuffle on who is sitting next to (Y/N) and across from her. Everyone eventually gets settled except Sam, Bucky, and Nat. Bucky brings the last of the food placing the bread directly in front of her. While he is leaning over (Y/N), Nat shuffles in, both of them tense taking the other in. Nat drops her head and took a seat as far away for her as she could.

There was a moment of silence before, “Dibs!!” Sam shouted grabbing the pasta. The rest dived in filling their plates. Bucky couldn’t help but take in the group. This is how it should be, what it always should have been. A family together, enjoying a meal. The meal continues, no one acknowledges the underlining tension between the team members.

After wrapping up they decide to reconvene in the living room for a movie night. They went to their separate quarters to get pajamas, blankets, and pillows. Bucky retreated, quickly changing and grabbing his favorite blanket, (Y/N) had picked it out of course but he had grown even more attached to it of late.

Swinging out of his door, he ran smack into someone. They bounced off and he instinctively reached out pulling them against him to steady them both. He looked down, he was met with (Y/E/C) eyes. It wasn’t just anyone it was (Y/N).

Y/N POV

The flight had been quick, you didn’t have much left after the fire was put out. The whole ride had you twitching though. The closer you got the more the twitch became more prominent. Sam at one point reached over and started to stroke your hand holding it still.

When you got off the plane you were bombarded with people and hugs. Each trying to squeeze there way into your arms. Man, you had missed them. You hadn’t quite realized how much until they were here. You were home. They pulled you toward the elevator, not wanting to be left out they all crammed in. When you exited, you were laughing at a story the Thor had just told. You cracked up, he had such a never could quite grasp Earth’s ways. As you looked up to take in the place you are met with those steel blue eyes. You freeze. Not ready, not ready, NOT READY. You were here though.

‘Focus, don’t let him see the pain (Y/N)’ you pep talked your self. You shoot him a small smile. ‘Nailed It’ you give yourself a mental fist bump. You could do this.

Your friend continues to fight for your attention all the way until dinner is called. They even fought over who was sitting closest to you. As they settled the final few struggled in that when you saw her. She was pale and her hair stood out even more against her. Her eyes were rimmed in red and the bags beneath her eyes suggested she hadn’t been sleeping well at all. You felt a twinge of sadness, you had never seen her like this. She was the strong one of the group. Heck, she had gotten what, no who she wanted. She drops her eyes and sits.

It was the perfect meal back. You knew Bucky had made it with you in mind. You had caught a few of the looks he sent you while preparing the meal. Drenching your pasta in the sauce. The bread almost made you moan, there was a slight eye flutter at the first bite.

When the meal was done and the movie night called you waited for the room to clear. You pulled Sam back, “I don’t know if I can do this.” You whispered to him, pulling on his arm as you tried to pull yourself together. “I don’t know how to act, how do I not fall apart while he is in the room?”

Sam chuckles shaking his head at you, “I think you're doing just fine if anything I should be asking you how you are managing it. You pulled off being ok better than anyone I have ever seen. As for now, Bucky is trying to make amends just keep that in mind alright?” You nod before turning toward your room.

You speed up not wanting anyone to wait on you. Not paying attention you run straight into a brick wall or so it felt like. When the walls arms came and wrapped around you gripping you close your eyes shot up meeting his. Well, crap!

“You alright?” He says after a moment of you two taking each other in. For some reason, you can’t take your eyes off each other. He searches your face looking for answers and reactions to the situation.

You give a small nod, “Yeah, sorry about that. Too excited for the movie night.”

“Oh yeah been a while since we had one. I just hope it’s a better movie than last time.”

“Hey! Volcanos in New York wasn’t that bad. It could happen here.” You have the smile on your face now remember that last movie. Cheesy to the extreme.

You both chuckle at the memory. You can't help but take in his face and the joy on it. You missed it. As soon as that thought ran through your head, you both realize what is happening and an awkwardness settles over you. You clear your throat and step away.

“I…I better get going before they send a search squad.” He only dips his head in acknowledgment. Turning your head away from him. “Oh and Bucky?” You swing your head back, he hadn’t moved just lifted his head up to look at you. “Thank you for dinner it was perfect.” You jog away. Leaving a very confused and shaken Bucky in your wake.

You enter the living room to find everyone present surprisingly. You find Sam on the love seat and almost by automatic response plop down next to him swinging your legs over his. He starts to rub your calves while you get comfy. You start to converse with Sam chatting and laughing when you noticed an odd silence about you.

You turn to the group, they all had eyes on the two of you. You cock your head to the side, asking a silent question of what’s going on.

“Aren’t you two lovebirds getting cozy.” Tony wiggled his eyebrows at you and you start to blush. Sam lets out a laugh. He pulls your legs into him.

“She’s mine now, shouldn’t have left me all alone with her. But really I just like these legs. So pretty, so soft. My precious.” He strokes your leg whole channeling his inner Smegal. There are snickers throughout. “Nah, nothing going on here, we just got used to our late night talks is all.”

The group nods, “So what are we watching?” You ask to get the subject off of you.

“I think, you should pick, but since it is you it will be (Y/F/M).” You nod. Gotcha there, you tend to be predictable when it came to movies. The movie begins and the room goes quiet. Even if it was your favorite, you feel your eyes grow heavy. Soon you're nodding off snuggling even closer to Sam. No one noticed until the whispers started. You shifted in your seat, settling for the moment. A couple minutes later you do it again but with tears dropping down. Sam quickly gathers you up, pulling you in close to him.

“Ahhh, shh I gotcha baby girl, calm down it’s just a dream.” He’s running his hands along your back and legs, gripping you close. After a moment you go limp and slumber again.

He casts his eyes up taking in the team. The heartbreak is evident, a few guilty, some for witnessing it others being the cause of it. “Hey everyone relaxes, it happens. We all get them. She doesn’t have as many now but they pop up. We are working on them. Right now she just needs support and not too many questions.”

The group nods. Seeing their affirmation he stands up with you taking you to your room. He tucks you in and smoothes your hair back. You would be ok. You were strong and so freaking stubborn. Either way, you would make it and he would be there to help.

@veronicalei @ohlookfanfiction @theassetseyeliner @bustanut2k17 @luckynumber1213 @owhatshername1 @chipilerendi @caelestiside @anbrax5553 @fandom-writes @boundtomyfate @annie-are-you-okay @megs4real @marvelous-imagining @mizzzpink @coffeeismylife28 @yknott81 @chameerah @stevette60 @genlovesdcb @loveyourselfcreateyourself @winter-in-wakanda @buckyappreciationsociety @sammysgirl1997 @unicornqueen05 @sexyashmike @magpiemischief @steggy4ever @greeneyedgirls4 @melconnor2007 @iamwarrenspeace @justreadingfics @buckyismyaesthetic @gondorgirl01 @winterbuttmunch

200 Followers!!!

Man I can't even begin to express how much I am grateful for each of you. Thank you so much for following. It was only about a month ago I had 7 and I was cool with that. My mind is blown!!

I'll Be Here

Steve X Reader

Summary: You’ve always had a thing for Steve, since the beginning and like every perfect cliche story everyone but him knows it. From a questionable background with unusual gifts who could blame him for not noticing. Set during CA: CW, with a few changed details.

Warnings: ANGST,

A/N: I seem to have written quite a bit the last 2 weeks but I’ve loved all the responses I have gotten!!!! Thank you so much. Warning to you all this is not happy and ends in a cliffhanger, you have been warned! This is an edited version because I learned not to post when one is really tired and trying to rush things!

Supposedly this meeting was about setting boundaries and rules when it came being the Avengers. Not that that worked ever, waiting for someone to give a say on whether or not the situation was dire enough by a group of pompous and pretentious people was just stupid. This was going to bite them in the butt one day. Hopefully, it was before a whole lot of someones got killed.

You were relatively new to the group having been found by Clint, of course always picking up strays, while on a mission, you brought the destructive aspect to the group.

Having been sold and trained for a little known but dangerous mercenary group, you were eager to get out. Your time with the Devil’s Luck had been torturous. Each day they seemed to have a new way to scare you into submission. The only reason you lasted as long as you had was, you listened. Each week they had taught you a different bomb how to assemble and disarm it. They taught you all the components and at the end of the week you had to perform perfectly or death was the answer.

Clint had been sent in to disassemble the Devil’s. You were lucky to have Clint notice that you weren’t there willingly. It also helped your case that they would chain you every day in the room where they kept their poisons and other volatile explosives. They said it helped remind you of which components were which.

Focusing back to the meeting a new man has entered the room, Secretary Ross, gah even his name made you want to throw up, (he no longer gets a name shall only be known as he) he is staring down each and every one of them.

That is until he comes to you. You meet his glare head-on with one of your own. He shifts a little before looking away, you had won this round. It’s not surprising, due to the exposure of the different compounds, while being locked in your closet, your eyes had shifted from their usual (Y/E/C) to a murky purple, not exactly pretty or pleasant to look at.

He starts to blab on about how the group has “helped” so many people, but then he shifts and starts to blame them for everything ignore the lives saved in every incident.

You begin to feel your temper rising up, you shift in your chair. Looking around you can see everyone just taking it. You had been brought here years ago but had been too dangerous to be around others as Fury had told you. When you started training you had gotten to see them in action and vowed to be part of them.

Now that you were, they had quickly taken you in and treated you like family. You would not stand by while this prick tore into them. They were heroes that risked their lives and save millions more. They didn’t need all these rules or whatever crap this man wanted.

A hand on your thigh stops your internal thoughts and quells you anger a bit. Shooting your gaze over to see Steve; he was shaking his head slightly. Pretty much telling you to chill, then his thumb begins to rub circles in your thigh. Great now you can’t stay mad because you’re focusing on the feeling he is giving you, the butterflies erupt in your stomach.

It is a well-known fact to all you have a big thing for Mr. Steve Rogers. It’s also known that you will never make a move because you feel you are not good enough for him. Instead, you had chosen to become friends, you would take him however you could get him. You don’t often regret that decision mostly being that Steve was the greatest friend you could ask for.

You’re so in the moment that you don’t move until you hear Steve backfiring on Tony, his hand still rests on you but it is tense.

You focus back on the conversation. But don’t last long as you realize that this man had come in here and was now tearing the team apart. He is standing off to the side a bit as they argue, a small smile appearing on his face. He turns and leaves the room, the door gently closing.

You jerk up, making the chair roll hard into the wall startling everyone, you are seething, a low growl building its way up your throat. You head towards the door. “Where are you going?” Tony asks.

“I’m going to kill that man, I’m going to make him feel so much pain he’s going to wish he never even set foot in this building let alone mess with my family.” Still growling you turn back towards the door only to have a couple pair of arms hold you still.

“This won’t help anything if you kill him or threaten him,” Sam says while he and Clint attempt to pull you back into your chair. You were standing firm until another chair sputtered back. All eyes shifted to Steve.

“I have to go.” He quickly leaves. You know something is wrong you can tell just from his words. The men release you and you take the moment to follow Steve out. It wasn’t often that Steve didn’t jump in to help you or defend you so the simple fact that he didn’t prove that he just received the worse kind of news. You hoped it didn’t have to deal with Bucky, he had searched for so long now. Spending months with him and you digging for even the slightest mention of him.

You searched for him for a couple moments till a faint sniffling reached your ears. Opening the door to the stairwell you peak over the edge to Steve in the middle of the flight. You rush down, his shoulders are shaking while he holds his phone out. You glimpse on, ‘She’s gone, in her sleep.’ You gasp taking it in, Peggy was gone no wonder he was in pieces. It was worse than Bucky, not Peggy he had gotten her back.

You both often visited her in the care home. Spending hours talking, you getting all the really good stories to blackmail Steve with. Now she was gone, you wrap your arms around him and he takes advantage by leaning in cause you both to slip to the steps.

A few minutes later he looks up at you, those gorgeous blue eyes are rimmed in red and have a dark shadow in them as his world comes crashing down around him. “I have to go, I need to get packed and go to her. I… I didn’t get to say goodbye. I’ve lost her, again. Why did I lose her again?”

You nod your head, you had no idea why things were working out this way, fate was cruel. “Come on let’s get you home to pack.“ Taking his hand you get him up and lead him up to his room. You sit him down on the bed and pull out his small carry on bag. He glances up, "I can do it, thank you for taking care of me. Maybe you can come with me. I could the support and you were close with her as well.”

“I’ll be here.” You reply quietly to him.

At the funeral, Steve is one of the pallbearers for Peggy. You can see how upset he is even when he sits next to you in the pew. He grabs hold of your thigh again holding on tightly as the service begins. It was a lovely service, even when it came time for the family to speak. You were expecting a lot of tears, what you didn’t expect was the blonde woman, especially Steve’s neighbor to get up to speak. She was introduced as Sharon Carter. You feel Steve straighten and his hand leaves your thigh. You glance up to find his eyes zeroed in on Sharon as she shares about her aunt. Another Carter. He hangs off her words eyes meeting until the end and even still follows her with his eyes after she’s done showing great interest in what she was doing.

Your heart putters at the scene, Sam glanced over at your sharp inhale, checking to see what happened. Steve remained focused on Sharon missing your distress.

You had known he had been through too much to just try to jump into a relationship with. Then you had found out about Peggy and knew that nothing was going to happen for a very long time. You wouldn’t compete with someone you had no chance of winning against. From all the stories you didn’t mind either. Now here comes fate with another interesting Carter at Steve’s feet.

He excuses himself from you and Sam to go talk to her. “You shouldn’t let him go like that,” Sam comments to you.

“He is free to talk to anyone he wants to I’m not going to stop him.” You reply getting uncomfortable with the situation at hand. You wait for Steve to come back glancing over at them while they talk flinching every time he smiles at something she said.

“Yup, you're jealous.”

“Never said I wasn’t; just not going to let it affect my relationship with him.”

“Uh huh whatever you say.”

Sharon walks away only to have Nat walk up and talk to Steve. He gets a little tense talking to her but soon heads over sending you a small smile. “She’s headed to Vienna for the talks. Things are going to get dangerous now.”

“I know. I’ll be here.” You give him a small smile, while you give his hand a quick squeeze.

Steve and yourself had split up after the funeral, you had things that needed to get done in New York. Unfortunately, you should have stayed with him. You knew as soon as you saw the news and heard Bucky’s name you were ready to head right back in the quinjet only to be surrounded by men in black tactical gear. Their weapons were pointed straight at you no chance of escape. Then he came sauntering up an evil grin on his face. “Bring her with us, she’s a good bargaining chip for him”. They cuffed her and forced her onto the jet but strapped her down tightly.

Upon landing you are carted into a foreign building and kept under lock and key. Constant eyes watching you. It's rather boring just waiting around waiting for something to happen. Lucky for you they didn’t have a full understanding of your powers. While you were stuck in your prison with the Devil’s Luck, not only had your eyes changed but so had your very DNA. The strange combination of compounds mixed further and mutated your blood enabling you to use any poison or other toxins at will.

It was one of the reasons you never told Steve your true feelings. There was a lot you still didn’t know about your powers making you almost a ticking time bomb when your emotions got high enough you would leak fumes around you. This included the meeting before this whole mess. Steve was one of the few people able to calm you down almost instantly, dissipating anything in the air.

The other reason was Steve had been dealt a sad hand of cards in life, he deserved something normal including a normal love interest. It was why you weren’t exactly angry when he showed interest in someone. Of course, he could never truly have a normal life, house, kids, and dogs, but it would be better than the “toxic” relationship you would provide. You would never be able to let go fully always worried that you would hurt him. Heck, right now you were in a jail cell waiting to be used as bait against him.

As the guard passes by on his round a perfect opportunity to escape. You start to emit a gas known for bending the will. Perfect for your plan with the lack of appropriate ventilation, your cell was soon open and you walked out. You had the guard escort you all the way to the glass office which now held Steve, Sam, Tony, and Nat. There was another man with regal posture but you paid little head to him as you zeroed in on the man that continued to drive your family apart.

The door slides open and all eyes turned to you. You wave the guard off and stare at the man in front of you. Everyone is slowly rising. They can see the wisps of smoke radiating from you. Your eyes have now crystallized to a royal purple instead. Steve approached you arms raised slightly with his palms open toward you. You let him approach slowly trying to get your breathing and rage under control.

“Calm down, (Y/N). It alright. I promise we are just seeing things differently.”

“No! He is tearing my family apart and will not let him continue to do this.” You are screaming at this point. “He is the one that brought this on why can’t anyone see this. Turning us against each other. Making Wanda feel like everything is wrong with her when it's not. Making Tony take all the blame for the actions of others. I won’t allow it anymore!” The waves pulse out again darker and reaching out toward the man in question. He shirks back, finally grasping just how dangerous you are and what you could do, specifically to him at the moment.

He dares to speak, “Rogers, get the monster under control or I will.”

This made all heads turn towards him. “Excuse me,” the rage and venom could be heard clearly in Steve’s voice.

You heard me. Do something before I have to.”

With that, he takes his chance and leaves the room. They all continue to stare after him. You, on the other hand, were shocked at what he said that everything vanished. He had said the one thing you knew to be true but no one had ever said to you. Hearing it was worse and cut you deep; looking around you saw the angry expressions on their faces you’re not sure if it’s for you or the man that just walked out. Steve let’s out a sigh before turning back to you.

“I told you to calm down. You might have just made things worse. Now, why don’t you sit down and maybe don’t move.” He sounds slightly exasperated as he says this. You feel your heart clench at the tone. You merely nod your head.

“Well great, that fixes nothing,” Tony says glancing now between the two of you. At this point, Sharon comes in letting them know that the interrogation was about to begin. She walks up to Steve and you can see him relax, sending her a small smile. Well, another nail in that coffin. They look good together you notice, almost a perfect match; at least he doesn’t have to worry about her killing anyone. You sink lower in your chair but even with the small movement, you see people tense around you making you go even smaller.

Suddenly the lights flicker and everyone panics, Sharon tells Steve Bucky’s floor and with a quick turn he tells you to follow him closely, this is your escape. You decide to split up Sam and you are on modes of transportation out. Steve would grab Bucky and meet you outside the building.

You hijack a civilian car and go on your way. From your spot, you witness the chopper crash and finally see the guys surface. You hoist them in the car and head out of town to an abandoned warehouse district.

Placing Bucky into a giant vice you wait for him to wake up. You have sat as far away from them as you could with still being able to be seen. Steve eventually comes over and sits next to you.

“You could have killed someone today.” You nod, not trusting yourself to speak and know that nothing can help you now. You pray for a miracle. “It was stupid and reckless. You need to get this under control, you were doing so well before all this happened.” You can tell he is concerned but you fear it is more for others than yourself. You pull your knees to your chest wrapping your arms around them. “Secretary Ross has power, unfortunately, he’s using it against us. But, we will get through it, you can’t get involved though. I can’t trust you at this point, you will only make things worse.”

“I’m sorry.” your voice breaks failing to hold back any tears.

“That’s not going to fix anything,” he huffs frustrated. “If that was enough none of us would be in this situation.”

By this time tears are falling down, you face silently. He’s confirmed everything you’ve feared the most. Your losing control and nothing more than a monster that was going to hurt others. Worse yet, you knew he wasn’t ever going to feel the same way you did. He couldn’t trust you why would he ever think to love you.

Sam approaches, “He’s awake.” You wipe your tears unsuccessfully masking that you had been crying. Sam probably heard it all. Steve rises to his feet going to Bucky’s side. You look out the window searching for suspicious activity. Not daring to turn around and meet anyone’s eyes.

A while later you notice movement on the roof a few blocks down. “We’ve got movement, couple blocks down. We need to move.”

You continue to watch until Steve walks up, pointing out all the boogies to him, you both come to the same conclusion. You're going to need a diversion and a pretty big one. It's then that you come to understand your it. The rest needed to continue; this was the end of your story.

You turn to Steve, “Go, I’ll hold them off. You take Sam and Bucky with you do what you need to do.”

“We can’t just leave you here, who knows what they’ll do.”

“I’ll be fine, I’m stronger than I look. I won’t kill any of them I promise. I can hold off being a monster long enough to get you guys out.“ You tell him firmly, hoping he can trust you just enough not to screw this up.

"You’re not…”

“Stop. Please. Just go.” You don’t need to hear any more lies. You shoo him away, not bothering to say goodbye.

Steve nods once before turning to debrief Bucky. Sam walks up to you, “This is stupid and you know it. They won’t let you go.”

“Maybe that’s what I want.” You glance back at Steve talking quietly with Bucky, “Sam, don’t let him come after me alright? No one can forget I was ever here. Monsters are meant to be locked up so that’s where I’ll go.”

“You’re not a monster, not even close.”

“Please just promise me Sam.” you urge, they need to get out and soon.

“Fine, but promise me you won’t just give yourself up. You get out of here and come back to us.”

“Alright, now go. I can give you guys about 20 minutes head start.”

Steve looks back at you sadness written on his face, “I’ll see you later, alright?”

“I’ll be here.” You whisper with a small smile.

Steve turns and jogs out with the guys close behind him. Turning back toward the front you prepare yourself with each thump of men trying to get in. For the first time you feel like you lied to Steve, you knew you wouldn’t be here.

@annadier

Am I Enough PT 2

Bucky X Reader 

Summary: An unexpected turn in your relationship with Bucky sends you on a journey that will hopefully find you back home one day.

Warnings: angst 

A/N: Hello everyone, I just wanted to start out with how thrilled and honored I was to have all of you read my new story. I am still getting the jitters from it all. Sorry, it took so long but here it is. This chapter is more of a stage-setter for what is to come and no bucky we catch up with where the reader is now.  

“When did this start between you two? How long has it been? Did it gradually come to be or did it just hit you one day? I asked if you had ever thought about the others, in an I-could-possibly-date way. Wait, was that when it all began? You actually thought about it and realized she would be better for you. I shouldn’t have asked, I mean I was so happy that you chose me over them but I brought this on myself didn’t I?“ 

“Can’t you just tell me? Answer me, Dang It! Do I now mean so little you can’t even give me a proper answer? I love you with everything I have in me, but that’s not enough for you is it? I wanted to believe that this would last forever but….“ 

Two weeks that’s how long it had been since you left. The road had taken you out through several states till you stopped at a quaint town. Big enough that you could get confused but small enough for people to know almost everyone and of all things it was called Normal, Illinois, because heavens knew you could use all the normal you could get. You managed to snag a place to stay at least for now and a job as well. Lucky for you the college had just gotten out so you found a room to rent for the next 2 months before school came back. 

It’s funny how in the movies people can just up and run away from their previous lives but not for you. The one plus side was that You could avoid all other text and calls from the team. It also kept your mind off if him. You spent part of your car ride on the phone with your boss telling, well lying that you had a family emergency that would take you away for a while. Luck struck again as she gave you the two months you asked for. The only problem now was your apartment. You couldn’t afford 2 rents. The rent in normal was about half it was in New York but still. This had taken quite a few more phone calls until you found a few friends that wanted to rent it out for a couple weeks at a time. It would be risky especially if they canceled but you had a smidge of faith left that it would work out. 

Now that you were at least for the foreseeable future to remain here, you focus on your new job, mostly because the other option is soul-sucking grief. It was a standard retail job in Uptown Normal, a little boutique that sold nic-nacs. It got you through the day and you made money. You threw yourself into it taking extra shifts and doing whatever necessary for the job. Anything to keep you from going home at night. 

The problem now was the nights, with nothing to occupy your thoughts, no tv or computer, you focused on what had happened. You had thought maybe the whole thing was a misunderstanding that Bucky would chase after you and explain. As each day went by your hope faded piece by piece. You weren’t hiding you still used your credit cards, your driver's license, he could find you, anyone could find you. But no one came, you must have been right in everything you said. You would have at least expected one of the others, Steve or Tony, at least, but you guess that was too good to be the friendship as well. How did this happen you had always prided yourself on being a decent judge in character, but apparently not the people you were those closest to you. 

It turns out it was good you left. You would feel bad forever forcing yourself onto others. When you thought this there was a knock on the door. Your head jerked up, zeroing in on the door, you weren’t expecting anyone. Maybe it was a simple case of wrong door. Again the knock, but this time it was followed up with, ”(Y/N), I know you’re in there please just open up.“ 

Gah, it was Steve. You start to have a mixture of feelings the first was surprised, he had come to get you. You were great friends so why not but you would have thought he would stay with Bucky, support him at this time. This led to sadness, tears pricking your eyes because Bucky couldn’t even come himself, he must have sent Steve. Which then provoked anger, that stupid pompous man couldn’t even take the time to come find you and fix things himself. When that thought hit you, grief ran through you wrapping its way through, making your limbs heavy and your breathing shallow. 

That was it Steve had come to say that Bucky didn’t want you back that you could stay right where you were. Far away from him, he didn’t need some has been hanging around his new girl. Once more the knocking began, "I’m coming in we need to talk." 

With that, he quickly dismantled the lock and stepped in. You stare at him while he approaches, but as he gets closer you get scared you didn’t want to hear it. No, you could move on right now, you could pretend this whole thing never happened. You scoot away from him whimpering slightly and shaking your head. 

"Whoa hey, I just want to talk.” He raises his hands, halting all forward movement. 

“No,” you shudder out, your voice weak. “I know what you want to say and I don’t want to hear it. I get it he doesn’t want me. I’ll stay away I promise.” At this point, your voice has broken and tears run down your face. You keep shaking your head keeping Steve at bay. 

Steve heart breaks, even more, his friend has done a real number on this girl. You were still huddled against the wall but now you had your hands over your ears, refusing anything he had to say. He sighed, kneeling down before you and wrapping his arms around you pulling you to his chest. For a moment, you resisted pushing against him, didn’t work very well as he continued to hold you in place. 

Finally, you fell into him allowing his comfort, you start to cry, sobs that wrenched through your body. For you, it was finally accepting everything that had happened to you. Taking in every feeling that you had held back through this whole thing. All this time you had refused to accept them, that everything that was happening you deserved, so you didn’t have the right to feel emotional about it. You were though, sad, angry the basic but fierce emotions held you. All you could do was cry while Steve held you. 

Eventually, the tears took their toll rendering you exhausted and quickly sliding into sleep. Steve felt you go limp against him. Glancing down he took in the tracks from the tears on your face, carefully wiping a few more away. He couldn’t even imagine what you were going through, he knew in some sense, had seen and talked with you, about how much Bucky had meant. You had discussed hopes and dreams, what the future would look like and how much Bucky had changed you for the better. To have all that taken away would make anyone’s heart shatter. He still didn’t fully understand what would make Bucky do this to you. 

You shiver slightly more from the lingering fear than the cold. He finally took in the apartment while looking for a blanket to wrap you in. It was sparse, to say the least, you hadn’t taken much with you when you left. A small studio, no bed, no dresser just an open suitcase with your clothes spilling out of it. In your haste, you hadn’t taken what you needed just enough to escape. From the info they had gathered they learned about your new situation and from what they could see you didn’t plan on coming back to New York anytime soon. 

He scoops your legs up draping you over him, but still firmly in his grasp. He pulls the blanket from your small blowup bed and wraps you in it. Looking down once more, he knows you intend to stay but not if the team and he have anything to do with it.

Lifting his hand up he whispers, “Guys, we have things to do. Let’s get started." 

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