Never Again

Never Again

the five times he saw you with bruises and the one time you saw him with bruises.

pairing: billy hargrove x thicc!reader (f)

word count 8.9k

note: reader has thick thighs and stretch marks, i'd rather jump off a bridge than write about characters with "perfect bodies" ew. also im chubby and i dont remember what it was like to be skinny. ok ms thiccums. also readers birthday is in winter shh. this is sort of an au where billy got left back a year and he still works at pool, steves at record store and billys alive. billys a little bit ooc but who cares lmao

playlist. moodboard. masterlist.

warnings!: abuse!, domestic abuse, violence, sexual assault mentioned, mention of ro*fie/date drug, assault, fighting, bullying, depression, loneliness, anxiety, a LOT of swearing/cursing, making out (?) etc... fluff, comfort, angst.

i. - yn pov

The cold wind kissed my skin as I stepped off the dingy school bus and toward Hawkins High. My backpack slung over my shoulder as I tug on my flannels sleeves and fidget with anxiety, walking through, past the other students that seemed to enjoy loitering. Another miserable day in hell. My combat boots smack the concrete as I enter the building, escaping from the chilly temperature into the stuffy halls and heading straight for my locker. I grab my notebook to place it in my backpack and put away my winter coat. Having earbuds in, I don’t hear the obnoxious smacking of gum and tapping of tacky flats coming toward me. Not till her hand pushes me toward the wall. One of my headphones was knocked out.

“I’m talking to you, new girl!” The voice was impossible to not recognize. Turning around to make eye contact and confirm my theory, I send a distasteful glare to Carol.

“And yet, I can’t seem to give a fuck.” I was never one to let popular kids knock me around. Seemingly everyone bullies and annoys me with ease, but I always defend myself. I only don’t speak when their whole purpose is to get a rise out of me.

Her expression changes from annoyed to offense and fury. “Listen, slut. Either you explain why you stole my bracelet and give it back or I will fuck you up.”

Raising a brow I looked down at my wrist where I had my grandmother's silver bracelet wrapped around and chuckled at the insane accusation. “This is my grandma’s, dumbass. I didn’t take your stupid fucking bracelet.”

“I beg to fucking differ, it’s one of a kind!” She yells, catching the attention of other passerbys in the hills. Suddenly I’m filled with rage as she raises her voice at me.

“Clearly not. I’m not dealing with this right now, it’s too early.” I go to walk away and escape the conversation when suddenly she grabs and tugs my arm. I land on the ground, hard, on my back.

“Nuh-uh, not till you give it back!” She straddles me, holding my hands down with her knees and starts throwing punches. “Give it back!”

How do I give it “back” if you’re holding me down, dumbass!

This was ridiculous. I was almost embarrassed for the girl. She actually threw punches… over a bracelet. It all happened so fast. My eye burned and my face was sore and my lip was stinging. Then someone came behind Carol and pulled her off of me. My face was warm and I took deep breaths. I could feel blood dripping out of my nose and my lip was busted. I swallow hard and taste blood on my tongue before rising to sit up. My vision was blurry but I could see a shape of what seemed to be Tommy pulling Carol away, the yelling reverberating in my ears. Behind me I feel someone place an arm on my back and under my knees, lifting me and carrying me toward the nurses office.

I try to see who lifted me but as we pass the bright lights in the halls, my eyes get irritated and I shut them quickly. The person is warm and I feel denim gently scraping my arm. I don’t need to wonder for long as I hear his voice. “Jesus, L/N. It’s not even twelve yet and you already got a beating?”

“Shut up, Hargrove.” My voice is so weak it surprises me. His name is even more bitter than the blood on my tongue.

“It’s almost a new record. Not one to be proud of. But it's something, sugar.”

Billy Hargrove and I constantly bickered. I hated him and he hated me but not enough to not want to get in my pants. We were often associated as his stupid friends frequently beat me to hell and he beat my guy friends. I envy him. Everyone absolutely adores him. I can pretend I don’t care about being liked but deep down, there's this irritating desire to be loved. But someone, anyone. The fear that if my own mother doesn’t love me, why would anyone else?

Billy was perfect. He was attractive, fit, and the Hawkins High king. He hardly even needed to try. And me? I was the nobody.

I hated him for it.

“I’d rather you left me on the floor, Billy!” When I wiggle to try and escape his arms, his grip only gets tighter.

He scoffs as he opens the nurse’s office door with his foot. “Don’t be so dramatic, shortcake.”

I’m sitting on a medical cot as I hear the clicking of the nurse’s heels rushing toward me. “Oh my- what happened, hun?”

I assumed Billy left the room as I explained I was in a fight to Nurse Jen. Why would he stay? But after the teacher cleaned my eyes and I was able to blink them open, I see him sitting there across the room, watching with crossed arms and a brooding stare as the nurse dabbed at my bruises. I raise a brow at him and he only sends a sly grin in response. When the nurse finishes up with my bruises and busted lip, she looks up at me with soft brown eyes. “Can you have someone drive you home?”

“I’ll take her home,” She and I turned to Billy as he spoke. “Still live out of town?”

I nod softly, surprised he remembered that from the party a few months ago that my best friend dragged me to. He had to drive me home and dropped me off after someone tried to roofie me. As I said, this school is hell.

The nurse nods, grabbing my hand and helping pull me up. At first, it was like it all rushed to my head, the world began to spin, blurring slightly. It cleared quickly and I stumbled slightly. Billy rushes forward to grab my arms and hold me up. Surprisingly, his expression is filled with genuine concern. “Alright, c’mon, L/N.” He lifts me up just as he did before and carries me out to the car. The nurse left me with an ice pack for my head and packet of bandaids. What the fuck do I do with this? Billy sets me down in the passenger seat of his camaro. He begins driving after a heavy sigh. Who would’ve thought I’d wake up, go to school, get my ass kicked, and then get driven home by Billy Hargrove. I giggle childishly at the thought while staring out the window. “What’re you laughing at, sugar?”

“This is… not at all what I expected from my day…” I shake my head and frown. “Billy Hargrove, the man who hates me for everything but my tits, driving me home.”

He scoffs, “Is that how you think of me? Really?”

I nod fervently, wincing as it hurt my jaw. “Absolutely.”

He’s silent. Just for a moment. “Jesus, that’s… a low point of view.”

“Well, you never really treated me with a high regard… not till this moment and that party a few weeks ago. You aren’t really that nice to me. You’re just snarky and pervy.” I continue to mumble under my breath about how everyone is always mean to me but Billy isn’t listening after what I said about him.

He stares blankly to the road before him as he drives. The radio buzzing silently and I purse my busted lips as I look over to him. His gaze is concentrated and pensive. “I’m not that shitty of a person, Y/N.”

I swallow hard. “Sure.”

“I’m not!” He seemed genuinely angry, sincerely aggravated. “I have fuckin’ morals.”

“Then quit whining and act like it.” I huff, leaning to look out the window. He grunts, choosing to keep quiet and ignore me.

The rest of the car ride is silent. One hour of complete silence, other than the light sound of Metallica playing on the radio. I dozed off but every time I’d feel my eyes close, Billy shoved me, mumbling something about “concussions.”

Pulling up to my house, I rush to get out but Billy darts to my side of the car. “What’re you doing?” I say, shocked.

“You can hardly walk, sugar. I’m helping you get inside safely.” His tone is sarcastic but intentions are pure. I would roll my eyes if they didn’t hurt so much.

I let him help walk me inside my house. My parents were at work and I’m secretly grateful for Billy driving me. My mother would’ve screamed at me for making her drive all the way back and maybe even done worse. As I sit on my mattress, I look to Billy who helped me up the stairs, through the pavement and drove me from school and finally I gathered the courage. “Billy…” He looks into my eyes after finding pain relievers in my drawer and placing them on my bedside table. His blue eyes were hypnotizing and I finally understood why all the girls fawned over him. “Thank you. You don’t understand how much you just helped me.” I give him a small, warm smile.

His gaze flips between my eyes and lips before he takes a deep breath, “Don’t thank me, sweetheart, it’s the least I can do. Lemme go get you some water. You got any snacks or pajamas I can bring you so you don’t have to get up too much?”

I nod carefully. Billy was being soft. He was gentle and kind. I guess he’s trying to show his morals like I suggested. “In the drawer, top shelf is my jammies, there's chips in the kitchen. I-I’m only allowed to eat the potato chips, though…”

He nods, not asking too much. He grabs the pajamas from my drawer, a large t-shirt that I stole from my ex, and sweatpants. He laid it on the bed and left for the water and chips. Quickly, I got dressed and tucked myself under the blankets. Billy was quick, walking into my room with a bag of chips and a glass of water. He placed it on the bedside table and I quickly took the pain relievers with a large gulp of water. He looks around my room, his eyes landing on a book, journal and pencil on the desk in the corner of my room. He grabs them and places them beside me. “Do some reading and drawing or something and get some rest in like two hours.You don’t wanna get a concussion, trust me.”

I laugh, dryly. “Thank you, Hargrove.”

“When do your parents get back?”

“Uh, depends. My dad comes back around nine and my mom… My mom varies. It could be six on a good day or midnight on a bad day.” I sigh, grasping the book before opening to where I left off.

His brows furrowed and I saw the expression on his face shift as he tried to decide whether he should ask questions or not. He chooses not. “Okay… make sure not to get into trouble? See you around, sugar.” He ruffled my hair and just like that, he left.

ii. - yn pov

I didn’t want to come to this party but my best and only friend Rachel had forced me here. Well, more so, threatened to leave me home alone with my mother. So there I stood, next to a bowl of spiked punch, as people sent judgemental glances my way. I was completely fine minding my own business, till a pretty girl with a ponytail so tight it practically pulled her hairline out. I recognized her as… Natalie? Nicole? One of those for sure… “You’re the new girl, right? The one who stole Carol's bracelet?” Her speech was slurred and she seemingly was clueless to the concept of personal space.

“I’m new but I didn’t steal Carol's bracelet. If she told you otherwise then she’s a lying, delusional bitch.” Okay, maybe it was harsh. However I couldn't find it in me to care at the moment. I wanted to go to sleep.

She snarled her red lips and with a bitter tone, “Well, that ‘b-word’ is my friend so watch what you say, freak. What are you even doing here? I didn’t know they were inviting losers?”

With a sarcastic smile, I cross my arms, “Aw! Well, duh! That's why they invited you, silly!”

She gasps before clenching her teeth, “At least I’m not a virgin with no freaking friends.”

It was so easy to piss these people off, I didn’t need to put in the effort of getting physical. But I was so very tired and restless, I wasn’t in the mood frankly. I just grabbed her pretty and oh so perfect blonde ponytail and dumped her head in the spiked punch bowl. When she pulled back, she wiped the punch out her eyes and screeched. “Whore!” Huh, so she can curse.

“But I thought I was a virgin?” I send a snarky smile to the brat. Bad idea.

She tackled me and pathetically smacked me while straddling me. It wasn't as bad as Carol, however I still had some bruises staining my skin, so it hurt. And this time, I had my hands to cover me. It wasn’t enough though as she smacked me harder and harder. The crowd just chanted “fight, fight, fight” before someone finally pulled the rabid beast off me. I sighed heavily before trudging out the door.

My thoughts race. I’d rather walk home than stay there a second later. I don’t care if my house is twenty minutes away by car and forty walking. Rachel can yell at me in the morning, I don’t care.

But just as I make it to a street corner after fifteen minutes of walking, I notice a light shining behind me. The street has been empty since I first started walking so, out of curiosity, I turned to check who it may be.

“Oh my god.” I rolled my eyes as I noticed the familiar camaro driving toward me. “Do you just have a sixth sense or something?”

“Another beating, Y/N? Jesus, that's two in under a month, what happened?” Billy leans his head out the car. The street corner was getting cold so I stuck my head in the car to sneak some warmth.

“Well, Nicole was being disrespectful so I shoved her face in a bowl of punch and she decided to assault me. Plain and simple, Hargrove. Care to give me another ride home, please? I really don’t wanna walk in heels and bruises.” I pout, slight playful flirtation in my eyes as he rolls his and tilts his head to motion me to hop in.

I giggled at the music choice. “What's funny?”

“You’re playing metallica again, it’s like fuckin’ deja vu.”

He laughs, shaking his head, “I can’t believe you can laugh when you look like you’ve been fucking run over. You get into too many fights. I’m being serious, it’s reckless and dangerous, sugar. You gotta stop.” He scolds me like a child.

I huff, sarcastically, “Okay, dad. Since when did you give a fuck what I do? Figured you couldn't care less.”

“Like I said last time, I got morals. If I see someone who doesn’t deserve a beating all bruised up, it's pretty upsetting, shortcake.”

I laugh, sarcastically. “Well, you’re surely getting better at showing it. Seriously, do you think carrying my bag for me to two classes is gonna make me think you have morals? Or saying bless you when I sneeze? That's just manners, Hargrove, I’m concerned you just started saying bless you and thank you to people. It's basic respect.”

He stops, rather aggressively, in the middle of the empty road. “Don’t you talk to me about respect like you’re my fucking father. You can't seem to avoid getting your ass kicked, what are you a child? Desperate for attention? A masochist? What? What's wrong with you that you so desperately need to get assaulted every day? Mommy not giving you enough attention at home?”

That felt like a slap across the face. Especially since my mother couldn’t care less if someone hit me. She’d fully support it. The comment made my eyes water, every word leading me closer and closer to the tears that started rolling down my rosy and bruised cheeks. His angry expressions alter to one of shock and perhaps even a flash of guilt. He opened his mouth to speak but he was speechless as I cried silently beside him. “Fuck you, Hargrove.”

He bit his pursed lip and started driving again. It was quiet for a bit till he gathered his courage to speak again. “Listen… that… that wasn't cool of me. I’m-I am… sorry. That was fucked up. I shouldn’t have said that. I just-I don’t like seeing you like this. I don’t know why. It really fucking bothers me though.”

The word sorry sounded like he choked just trying to get it out. He was so clearly not used to apologizing however I couldn’t find it in me to care. He tried. And it seemed genuine. That impressed me more than I could imagine. “Just… take me home please.”

The rest of the drive is silent till he’s pulling over in front of my house again. I catch my breath and wipe my tears as Billy hops out and walks to the passenger seat, opening the door for me. It was chivalrous and honestly surprising. I looked at him with a questioning gaze as he walked me to my door. Mentally, I celebrated being able to walk, unlike last time. “Hey, I was wondering … that shirt you wore last time? Where did you get it from? It looked familiar.”

I raise a brow at his question. “Uh, its my ex boyfriend’s. I never threw it out and he never picked it up so I just… kept it? I guess.”

He hums. “Here…” He pulls his denim jacket off and hands it to me before tugging his white shirt off and swapping that for the denim jacket. “Wear that… It’s really weird to wear your ex’s clothing. Creepy.” I can see him visibly gulp.

“Yeah?” With a lopsided grin on my face, I look down at the white t-shirt in my hands. Then I met his hypnotizing blue eyes once more. They were filled with something indescribable. Something different from the usual lust, gloom and humor that filled them. Something I didn’t quite understand yet. “You’re really confusing, Billy Hargrove.”

He laughs. It was a nice laugh too, I'll admit. Still hate him though, definitely. Definitely hate him, Mhm. “Tell me about it, Y/N L/N.” He raises both brows, looking between my eyes then my lips before walking backwards. “See ya’ round, shortcake. I gotta go find my sister, stay out of trouble, please.”

“See ya’.” There's a part of me that celebrates seeing him go, then some forbidden, sadistic, masochistic part if me cries deep down and begs him to come back mentally. “Asshole.”

iii. - third pov

Billy started acting weird.

Whenever Y/N passed him in the hall, he ignored her.

No snarky remarks or flirtatious lines. He stopped being cruel to his sister, he waited more patiently for her after school. He was using manners with teachers and other students and actually showed up for class. He was doing better in school in general and he showed up on time. She’d find him watching her when she’d look up to find who was burning a gaze into her flesh. It was always him. But when she tried to speak to him, he gave one word answers and walked away claiming he had something to do.

You’re really confusing, Billy Hargrove.

Tell me about it.

He’s playing with my feelings. Her thoughts race. Except there are no feelings, I definitely hate him. Right? So why does it hurt when he ignores me? When he passes without a word or a glance. Why did it give me butterflies when I caught him looking at me or how, not so discreetly, looked over in the morning to see if I got off the bus before going in just to know if I was around. What would he do if I wasn’t? Why did I want to know? Was it so strange to miss our dynamic? Our banter?

Nonetheless, she continued her life as usual. Weekdays were school till three, work at the arcade till six, taking the bus home, shower, sleep. Weekends were work from seven to three, taking the bus home, yoga, shower, study, sleep. She only had about one or two friends, so there wasn’t much “hanging out” squeezed in. Except there was a disruption in her schedule on this particular day. Saturday. Noon. In front of the arcade, Max is sitting beside Y/N with a deep frown on her lips.

Max came in at her usual eleven in the morning and all went smoothly till some grown man came and gave her trouble for “hogging” the machine. So, in an attempt to defend her, Y/N walked up and asked him to leave. Which resulted in a bruised cheekbone, split lip and broken wrist. Now they sit on the curb, waiting for Max’s brother to pick her up so Y/N can go to the hospital and receive treatment.

“Are you sure Billy will take me? He didn’t seem too happy last time he saw me all bruised up…”

His words imprinted in her memory, joined by those blue eyes that filled with concern. If I see someone who doesn’t deserve a beating all bruised up, it's pretty upsetting, shortcake.

“Last time?” The redhead's eyebrow quirks.

“Yeah, he gave me a ride once… twice. Whatever, just… are you sure he won't be mad?” Worry lacing her tone.

“It’ll be fine, Y/N/N,” She takes a pause, placing a hand on Y/N’s knee. “And who cares what that asshole thinks anyway?”

The older girl releases a small laugh, “Yeah, who cares…” She did. She cared too much. She didn’t know when it happened or how. She couldn’t even admit to herself that it had. But she grew fond of the blond curlyhead casanova.

“And also… I didn’t get to say thank you. No one really defends me like that… You looked really badass, at least.” Max giggles.

With a pained smile, “No problem, kiddo. I can’t believe he broke my wrist, though, that's still so crazy to me.”

“Yeah, that was crazy. Hey, your eyeliner is still intact?” The statement was more of a question as she questionably clung onto whatever she had in mind to cheer Y/N up.

The pair giggle till the familiar rumble of Billy’s camaro can be heard speeding toward the arcade. It skids to a stop and Billy comes rushing out the car toward the duo, who stood quickly. “What the fuck happened, Y/N? Didn’t I tell you to be careful?”

“Hard to remember what you said when you haven’t even acknowledged me till this moment.”

“Sweetheart, It's hard to not acknowledge such a hot chick so don’t spout such bullshit. No what the fuck is going on with your wrist?” He goes to grab her wrist but she yelps in pain and he pulls back quickly, his previously flirtatious expression filled with genuine concern.

“The dude broke it…” She had broken wrists before. He had broken legs, ribs, jaw, arms, feet, fingers. She’s had numerous broken bones, fractures, sprains. She wasn’t too panicked about the wrist. But the pain never felt nice.

His eyes flash back to hers, anger spirling her new favorite shade of blue, “Dude? A fucking guy did it? Is he still here?”

“No, he… he left.” She looks him up and down. He was wearing a red button up and she could see a peak of his chest. His cheeks flushed red in anger, and Max? She was thriving. She hasn’t felt so joyous in years. Suddenly it all made sense. Why Billy was so nice, so respectful, so much… happier?

Her.

“Okay… let’s go. I gotta get you to a hospital.”

Max sat in the back and her bright blue eyes flicked between the two sat in the front. Curious and intrigued, she hung on every second.

“Do you have an addiction to getting your ass kicked?”

“I guess so.”

More silence.

He looks at her and then back to the road. Then he takes a double take. “You look good in my shirt, by the way.”

It was then she realized she was wearing the very shirt he gave her off his back the last time they actually spoke. “Thanks.”

Max covered her mouth to disguise her smile.

Billy actually likes someone? And it's Y/N?!

“Y’know… I’m probably gonna get fired. I’m really gonna need a new job. Actually, to be honest… I pay the majority of the rent at my house… My mom… she doesn’t really…” Y/N clears her throat as she chokes a sob that threatens to leave her with teary eyes. “She doesn’t really pay rent. She works but… not for rent.” She wipes her face with her unbroken wrist. Then wiping the tears on her jeans.

Billy could feel his heart drop at the sound of her broken voice. “I’ll help you get a job. I promise. I’ll see if you can work at the pool with me or maybe I could get Harrington to let you work at the record store. I will help get you a job.”

She let out an exhale and a laugh, “Did you know the first day where you found me all bruised up in December… It was my birthday. I turned eighteen. No one said anything. Except for Max and my best friend. My own mother forgot. Or she just didn’t care.”

She was staring blankly at the road. All Billy could get out was a weak apology as he reached over to grasp her unbroken hand. Max beamed.

As they parked in front of the hospital, Y/N stepped out. “You sure you don’t want me to come with you?” Max thought her cheeks were gonna break by how wide her smile became. He’s worried, how cute.

“I’m fine, Hargrove. Now, just… I’ll see you Monday, okay? Don’t… don’t ignore me?”

“I won’t, I promise.”

“You made a lot of promises today, hope you mean 'em’.” She smiled and walked into the emergency room. Max quickly ran out of the car to switch to the front seat and buckled in with a massive grin on her face and a “I-know-your-secrets” glare in her eyes.

“Oh god, what now, Max?”

“So… In love with Y/N, are we?” She smirked, tilting her head. “No wonder you’re so nice.”

He scrunched his face in mock disgust. “What? No! She’s just- We’re just kind of… friends now, I guess. It’s platonic.”

“Really? You held her hand and Oh Y/N I’ll get you a job, I promise, I’ll protect you, My princess, where is she? I care so much about you! Oh! I love you so much-” Her mocking tone and giggling was cut short as Billy suddenly stepped on the gas suddenly. Her laughing only intensifies.

“Shut up! It’s not like that. She’s just… Okay, I never met anyone as incredible or strong and unpredictable. She is the funniest, smartest yet somehow densest person I know and I don’t know if I wanna scream or kiss her but she’s the strongest most fucking irresistable woman I know and I have to stay away from her or else I get all these… emotions… I guess, that I can’t fucking deal with, okay? But it’s just… temporary. We’re platonic!” He just sounded like a contradicting machine that wanted to convince itself of a lie.

Max grinned one last time. “Sure, Billy, sure.”

iv. - third pov

Max’s joy only lasted a week.

Billy made an effort to speak to her but everytime he grew awkward. It was unfamiliar to him. And Y/N? Max hardly recognizes her. Her wrist was covered in a white cast with blue wrapping and the bruises she received at the arcade were healing well. But she was limping. She was covering her face. She was wearing long sleeves, even though it was now March and the weather was warming. It worried Max. Poor girl didn’t know what to do. So she went to Billy. Told him her concerns.

“What do you mean limping?“

“Limping! What else does it mean?” Even in serious conversations, her sarcasm never failed. “It’s been really warm lately and she still wears that black hoodie and sweatpants. She’s hot cause she always asks for the air conditioner so I don’t know why she doesn’t just take it off unless…”

“Don’t…”His heart kicked up, “You think… you think more bruises?”

“Yeah or she did something herself….” She frowns in concern. Shaking his head, thoughts filling with the worst of the worst, he begnis marching down the halls, searching for his shortcake.

He bumps into Carol who squeaks like a mouse and stumbles. “Billy, what the fuck?”

“Have you seen Y/N?” He was frantic.

“Who-?”

“Y/N! Have you seen Y/N!” Carol was startled till an expression of realization overtook her features.

“Oh! New girl?” She shook her head, “No, I haven’t seen her today-“

“Then you’re useless. And she’s not even fucking new, she’s been in this school longer than me, Catherine.” He rolls his eyes and begins walking once again.

“It’s Carol-“

He walked completely off, effectively cutting her off and sending a simple message. You’re irrelevant.

Finally catching a glimpse of a girl in a black hoodie and sweatpants, he grips her shoulder and tugs her into the nearest supply closet. “Take off your hoodie.”

“Woah, I know you’re a horny bastard, Hargrove but at least ask me to dinner first-” She chuckles, rolling her shoulders.

“I’m not kidding, Y/N. Take off your hoodie or explain.” His expression was stern in the dimly lit closet.

Silence. It was then they noticed the closed space, they were so close that one inch forward and their noses would touch. She could explore his blue eyes and well defined facial structure, the spiral of his curls and count his freckles and he could sink in her eyes and imagine the taste of her lips. God, he can’t stop staring at her lips. But he grasped her chin and tilted her head side to side to observe a few new fade bruises, she smacked his hand. She stares at him with a blank expression. “There's just… it’s just… more bruises. Nothing serious.”

Scoffing, “From who?”

Shaking her head. This one was different. She couldn’t tell him who did this one. “Billy, I’m not comfortable talking about this right now. Okay? It's really personal and I-I just want to get through the day so I can go to sleep. Even if everyday on the bus home is like a sentence to hell…” She mumbled the last sentence, raising her able hand to brush a strand behind her ear.

“Why? What's at home?”

“Nothing… just my mom and I never really got along well. It's nothing bad, just frustrating.” His eyes had not looked at hers since the silence. His eyes have been trained to her lips. Watching her form every syllable. “You know, I got eyes you can look at, too, right?” She smirked.

“I-I am looking at your eyes, you just can’t tell 'cause it's dark.” His eyes flick to hers.

“If we’re calling my lips my eyes then sure!” She tilts her head playfully. The air in the small closet was tight and hotter and hotter by the second.

He smirked, “Well, about taking your hoodie off…” His hands tug on her collar to push her body closer to his. She scoffs and pushes him to the wall.

“In your dreams, Hargrove.” She walks out the enclosed space but Billy follows close behind.

“I’m just saying, if all this time I just had to take you to dinner, I would’ve done it long ago!” He walks side by side with her. “No, but seriously, if it's personal then that's okay. I understand, just, y’know Max told me who broke your wrist and now he has a concussion so…”

She stops abruptly and turns to him. “What?”

“I figured out it was Bryce Turner so I found him at his job and knocked him out, no big deal,” He shrugs, “He hurt you, that's not right.”

She looks at him, entirely suspicious. “What the hell changed? You see me bruised up once or twice and suddenly you care about me as a person? Suddenly you defend me? What the hell, Billy?”

He exhales, heavily, glancing around the halls. “Can we not talk about this here? It’s really not that serious, I just know how it feels to take a beating, I’ve been in a few fights myself if you can’t tell.”

Shaking her head, “No, a few months ago, you couldn’t fucking stand me. You only bared my presence to get a chance to fuck me. So, is this just a trick? This is all an act, this new you? Is it real? Or is this an elaborate plan to fuck me, Billy? Because I’m sick of everyone in my life using me.”

He opened his mouth to speak but he didn’t know how to tell her. He couldn’t tell her. He shakes his head, “I’m not trying to use you, it’s… it’s unrelated. I promise. I’m sorry I made you feel that way, though.”

Sharing blank stares, she bites her lip. “Another promise, hm?” He bows his head. “See ya’, Billy.”

She wanders off from him, off to her next class. He’s left alone in a crowded hallway, heart sunk to his stomach and a new anxiety he didn’t appreciate.

v. - yn pov

Sobbing uncontrollably on a Sunday night, walking in the rain to Billy Hargrove’s house at two in the morning was not my ideal experience. But my life never went according to plan.

The cut on my lip down my chin and bleeding nose was evidence enough, let alone the numerous fresh black and blue marks covering my cheeks and body. A solid handprint outlined in red on my wrist when she yanked me toward the front door. My tailbone still ached from when I fell ass first into the pavement. She screams demanding me to leave “her” house, even though I pay the majority of the rent.

My ribs were healing well from the last time she hit me but after her recent blows, they ached and stung. My wrist is still wrapped in a cast that shouldn’t be wet. My ankle, that she had smashed on the wooden ground when I refused to get out of bed and she dragged me off it, now had shards and fragments of glass lodged in the arch of my foot from the vase she had thrown at my foot. The wet concrete was incredulously painful against my feet which were clad in only socks. My mother doesn’t really think to give me shoes before throwing me out. She just knows she wants me out and doesn’t care what condition I’m in whilst “out.”

It was humiliating to be walking towards Billy Hargrove’s house for support, for help, for comfort. When in September he and I hated each other. Sure, he tried to seduce me but that was a joke. No one found me attractive, he was making fun of me. Right? So, why in December, on my birthday that no one ever celebrated, did he lift me in his arms and help me get medical attention? Why did he care? That's what I clung onto as I took steps closer and closer to his house. The bright hope lying in that memory. Billy Hargrove cared even a little bit.

I didn’t really have anyone else. My best friend was in Florida visiting her grandmother and all my family was in New York. All I had was Billy.

His door was intimidating, but my body shivered so aggressively and my heart thumped so heavily I realized I had no choice. With eyes filled with many tears, my vision was blurry, my throat dry, body wrenched and my heart aching… I knocked on his door. The sound hardly made it over Metallica playing faintly through the door, the only sign other than the turned on living room light that he was there.

I knock again. “Jesus, M… can’t you, at least… door?” I could hear him faintly through the door. Suddenly, it swung open and there he stood. A red button-up tucked into jeans clung to his frame well. His expression switched from anger to shock and concern.

“Y/N, what- what the fuck happened?”

“I-I’m so-so sorry, Billy… I don’t have anywhere to go, I just- I would’ve called but I can’t get in my house so I- I just walked her and I- fuck, I just need help, please!” Each word came out with a choked sob. He gently grabbed my elbow and, with a softness I couldn’t imagine ever coming from him, he pulled me in for a hug. “Billy, y-you’re gonna get wet-”

“Jesus, I don’t care. C’mon, let me take care of you. We’re lucky my parents are gone.”

***

After gently taking out the shard in my foot with a tweezer, and asking Max for her tweezer in the first place, he gave me some medical alcohol, ointments, bandages and wraps to use after a shower. He even gave me a new wrist cast, which I’d have to ask later why he has it. He left me another one of his shirts and a pair of his boxers while he let me take a shower. When I got out, he was wearing a t-shirt and boxers. There were too white mugs and chocolate chip cookies on the coffee table as well as a mountain of VHS tapes. He was wrapped in a red blanket and his foot tapped anxiously on the wooden ground. This is new… certainly not unwelcome but new.

“Uhm, thank you…”

His head snapped in my direction at the sound of my voice.

“Did you walk here?”

“Oh- uh, yeah… more so limp but yeah…”

“Jesus Christ, Y/N, what's going on? Who did this to you? I’ve never seen you cry like that, it… it hurt and I got really scared for you… are you okay?” His eyes were always so pretty to me. How the blue could tell so much about him, what he was feeling, thinking. I could see so much truth to his words, so much concern.

Sighing, I bite the bullet. Its stupid, but I really trusted Billy. “My mom has been like this since I was ten…” I train my eyes to the ground. The pattern of the wood was far less horrific than those gorgeous azure eyes. “Ever since my biological dad left, she just…changed. She likes to drink. All her money goes to that. I basically hold up everything rent wise and financially… I want to forget her tonight, please. I’ve been so scared and… and tired for so long. I feel strange and stupid for telling you this but its not like I have many friends or anyone you can tell that would ruin my life so fuck it… I really just don't wanna think about her… okay?”

The silence after my words is what motivated me to gather the courage to meet his eyes. Pursed lips and a sigh, Billy looks back at me. “Yeah. Okay, whatever you need, shortcake.”

I give a curt nod, “Thank you,” I sniffle and look at the table, “What’s all this?”

“Oh, well, I asked Max for some of her VHS tapes and she made cookies with Susan before she left this morning so… I thought… maybe, these would make you feel better? And I made her swear to keep this a secret and not tell any of her little shit friends.” His cheeks actually turn a shade of red and I let out a giggle as I sit beside him. He tosses the blanket over my head. “Don’t laugh at me, I’m trying to be nice!”

“Okay, okay!” I pick up the VHS tapes and shuffle through them. The Shining, Nightmare on Elm Street, Carrie, The Breakfast Club, The Outsiders…

“Lets watch Nightmare on Elm Street…Johnny Depp is pretty…” I giggled and bit my bottom lip.

“Wow, okay, am I not?” with a faux hurt expression, he lifted a hand to his chest and smirked.

Rolling my eyes, “That’s not what I said…”

Raising a brow, “So, you’re saying I’m pretty?”

“Yes, Billy Hargrove. You are a beautiful man.”

His smirk shifts into a soft smile, “Thank you, you’re beautiful yourself, babe.”

New nickname, adding that to my list of favorites.

“Thank you. Seriously.” I hand him the VHS to put on and lean back. I pull the blanket to cover my bruised stretch marks. “I would’ve called before coming but… y’know.”

He places a hand on my cheek. “You and I… are more alike than you think, sugar. No matter how awful you think I am… I will always care about you. I know I’m an asshole but… you kind of changed my life with all these marks and trouble. You’re… you’re my favorite type of trouble.”

It was like my insides were melting and I swallowed hard, my heartbeat speeding up. “Really?”

His thumb brushes against my cheek as he nods. “Absolutely.”

“That’s… really cheesy,” I giggle, embarrassed, “But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think it was sweet. You’re my favorite trouble, too, Billy.”

A brief moment of silence as he looked down to my lips. It was like time stopped and I swallowed my heart. “Can I kiss you, sugar?”

Briefly, my eyes widen before whispering, “Please…”

His lips touch mine instantly, they are soft but urgent. Slipping his tongue past my lips, I feel my body erupt into flames. I place my hands on his thighs and I hear him drop the VHS before he puts both hands on my cheeks. He was so warm, so soft, yet his kiss was so needy and deeply affectionate. My broken wrist remains on his thigh but my other hand moves to run my fingers into the back of his hair, gripping gently. He groans and I swear, I felt my heart stop. That's when he pulled away and I caught a glimpse of his glazed eyes and slicken lips.

“I could do that everyday, for the rest of time…” he muttered. I couldn’t tell if he was speaking to me but I didn’t care. I could hardly focus on anything but the sweltering joy growing in the very pit of my stomach.

Our moment is interrupted by a small voice clearing their throat. I drop my hand to my lap. We look over to see Max with a smirk on her face, red hair pulled into braids. “I knew you liked her, you idiot!”

“Get out!” He grumbled.

She simply laughed, unphased, “No, no. Thank you, now Dustin owes me fifteen dollars!” She runs to her room, presumably to grab that darn walky talky.

With a small smile, I raised a questioning brow and scrunched my nose. “You like me?”

Rolling his eyes, he picks up the VHS and moves to put the movie on. “No… yes. I don’t know…” He plopped back on the sofa. “C-can we just watch the movie …?” Oh, how I love to make him blush and stutter….

I giggled and intertwined my fingers with his. “If it's any consolation, I like you. I like you a lot, Billy Hargrove.”

His blue eyes brimming with adoration. He nods, enthusiastically. “Okay… yeah. I like you a whole lot….”

vi. - billy pov

Y/N went back home the next day. It had been four weeks since that night and I still haven’t kissed her again. I’ve been afraid to touch her lips again. I know she said she likes me. But I also know I’m not good enough for her. I only just started to be nicer to Max. I only just started to try. So, I went back to pushing her away.

But the night was young and I already found myself covered in bruises and blood seeped through my shirt. Although the weather was cold, there was a thin line of sweat covering my skin as I drove down the streets to the one person in the world who didn’t make me feel like shit. The one person who made me feel like I meant something. The night was filled with bloody fists, tears and screaming matches. But she was full of love, care and a gentleness that I could never get at home.

As I park out her house, I see her light is the only one on.

With a deep breath, I climb the tree in front of her window and peer into her room. She’s lying on the bed under the covers, a book in her hands. I purse my lips and knock on her window softly. Her head turns toward the window. slightly startled, her expression instantly fills with concern and that damn look she always gives me that always makes me feel warm. She pulls the covers off and instantly rushes to the window, I instantly notice something. She’s wearing my shirt.

She always looks so good in my shirts, god, she drives me crazy.

She slides the window up and I meet her eyes. “Billy, what-what are you doing here?!”

“Uh, if you let me in, I’ll explain everything…” She nods, shifting over to the side to let me in.

I climb into her room and sit on her bed, the creaking of the window shutting numbed out in my numerous chaotic thoughts. Suddenly, she’s beside me, running her fingers through my curls and placing her now healed hand on my thigh. “Talk to me, Billy. What’s wrong? I’ve never seen you cry…”

Biting my bottom lip, I briefly muster the balls to meet her eyes before looking back at her carpet. “Remember when you came to my house at two in the morning?” She nods. “Remember when I said we were alike?”

You and I… are more alike than you think, sugar.

She nods, warily.

“My dad… he punishes me. Harshly. He… he does it a lot but tonight, I guess I really got on his nerves. He blamed me for my mom leaving and kicked me out the house. I know I’ve been a piece of shit lately but with all these feelings I have for you and the shit my dad says… I can’t find it in me to put you through all my bullshit. But here I am… I don’t fucking know, I can’t stay away from you… I’m sorry. You’re… all I got, sugar.” My eyes filled with tears once again, the millionth time of the night. Her fingers reach up to wipe my tears and I lean into the warmth of her hand.

“It's not your fault.” She simply states. Not a second of hesitation, not an ounce of doubt.

“What?”

“Your mother leaving, Hargrove. That's not your fault. And as for us? We’re fine, just don’t ignore me. It’s not up to you whether I ‘deal with your shit’ and don't talk about yourself like that. You’re fucking incredible. I like you for a reason, dummy. Anyway, you're safe here. I’ll take care of you.” I look up when she stands and walks toward her door. I almost whined thinking she was leaving, but she locks the door and walks back toward me.

“Jacket and pants off, c’mon, time for bed.” I laugh, dryly, her determination to take care of me making my heart palpitate. I begin to undress, uncomfortably in my bruised state and she reaches in her bedside drawer and pulls out a first aid kit. “Lie down.”

I do as the lady says and lie flat like a starfish in the center of her bed. She sits beside me and opens the kit, beginning to treat me. I take it as an opportunity to admire her features. From her hair to her lips to my shirt on her body. She smelled wonderful. Like a dewy spring morning. Her lips looked shiny after her tongue swiped across them. She finishes and brushes a few stray strands of hair out of my face. “I really do like you, Billy. Don’t leave me in the dark like that ever again, okay?”

I nod. At this moment, as I look at her face, I realize I’d do anything she asks. “Whatever you want, babe.”

She shut the light off and slipped under the covers, I followed suit. There was a brief pause of comfortable silence. Till I got to thinking. I never felt such an intense feeling, relationship, trust, experience. She was an acid trip. She was peace. She was heaven and she was chaos. She was everything and I was set on living for my everything. It was at this moment I realized why I had felt so protective, so needy for her attention, so caring, careful and intrigued, so pliable and submissive to her every whim.

I had fallen in love.

This wasn’t good. The moment I realized it, it was like it was fighting to get out. Like it needed to get out before it grew more and broke my heart. She’d leave me, just like my mother.

But the voices, the doubt, it didn’t matter when I felt her shit beside me and her voice relaxed me like melatonin or a cup of tea in the morning. I was more of a beer and party at night but god, I could get behind this feeling. This indescribable high she had me set on. I was absolutely in love with her. I adored her. I was enamored. Max was right. It pissed me off beyond words… but holy shit, Max was absolutely right. I was head over heels and it was fucking terrifying.

“Are you okay, Billy? Do you need anything? Water? Food? Maybe clothes? I could steal some of my stepdads clothes… or you could wear some of my oversized stuff-”

“I’m good, princess. Thank you. I just… I really need to tell you something.” It was gonna come out. It had to. It had to or I was going to explode. I roll over to face her, only to find that she was already facing me. Even in the dark, I could trace her features. It was committed to memory. Imprinted in his mind. I certainly didn’t hate it. “Y/N. Don’t laugh. Okay? If you laugh, I’ll leave and sleep in my car.”

She nods. “Okay, Billy, just spit it out!”

“Fine. I-I… I love you. Like… love-love you. Like I wanna kiss you and hold you and hold your hand. I wanna… maybe… I don’t know, get married one day and live far, far away together. All by ourselves, happily alone…”

It was quiet. From what I could see in the dark, under the streak of moonlight hitting her just right, she was shocked. Her bottom lip pulled under her teeth. “I love you, too. I want all of that and more, Billy… but you can’t ignore me. Okay? Talk to me… I just wanna be there with you. For you.”

I have never smiled that big since I was kid, surfing in the waves with mom.

“Run away with me.” My voice was soft as I stared mindlessly at her lips.

“Billy…” She sounded cynical as she shook her head.

“C’mon. We both hate this town!” I place a hand on her hip.

“Think about what's here, though. Max. School. My best friend. Billy, be logical!” She was always so smart. So careful and meticulous. But I wasn’t having it. We could worry about the details and kinks later. For now. I just wanted to convince her to get away with me.

“I am! We’ll leave after graduation. I’ll save up money to get us someplace nice far away. Maybe back to Cali or we can even go to New York. I’ll go wherever, as long as it’s with you. So they can never touch us again, okay? Never again.”

Another beat of silence.

“Fuck… fine! Okay!” I celebrate with a mouthed ‘yes’ and a fist to the air, she rolls her eyes. “I hate the effect you have on me, Billy Hargrove.”

“Oh please! Get over here…” I wrap my arms around her, pulling her into me and smothering my face in her hair, taking a whiff of the scent and smiling brightly. I pull back to place my lips on hers, gently. Reveling in the feeling of her lips on mine again after far too long. “I love you so much.”

Sure, we can just be dumb teenagers with stupid plans.

“I love you more.”

But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t okay with that. Especially not when the cold wind of Hawkins kisses my skin as it brushes through the small crack in the window and I doze off, holding my love in my arms.

Sober With You

s: you're tired of how everytime you want to hangout with eddie, he's high. especially when you want to tell him how you feel.

pairing: eddie munson x thicc!reader (f)

word count: 4.7k

warnings!: s4 vol1 and vol2 spoilers! (not really?), minor angst w/ happy ending, weed involved, alcohol involved, eddie is VERY anxious, anxiety, swearing/cursing, very brief mention of sex, two idiots in love, etc

note: pov switches! reader has thick thighs and stretch marks, im chubby and i dont remember what it was like to be skinny. eddie never died he's fine idc LMAO. reader is sort of innocent? not really, like she's aware of things but she doesn't like getting high or drinking, idk it just fits the storyline i had in mind better if she doesnt do that yk? not my favorite fic i've written but i think its worth the read :)

playlist. moodboard. masterlist.

friday.

00:46 | third

Tapping her foot on the carpeted floor of her bedroom, she debated calling Eddie to see if he was home or maybe asleep. It was Friday night and they spent every Friday night watching movies in his trailer and talking nonsense. He would sometimes play guitar and she would sometimes read to him while running her finger through his hair. However, everytime, he smoked a blunt or drank beers till he said things he didn’t understand himself. She nursed him to sleep and always took care of him during hangovers and when he blacked out. Even when he didn’t drink hard, Eddie was a handful. He was a lot to handle sober, so even a little tipsy was too much. With hesitant steps, she waddled to the phone hanging by the kitchen and quickly dialed his number before she could regret it. She hadn’t seen him that week, other than his daily picking her up and dropping her off, and she missed him. She couldn’t help the thought maybe, just maybe he won’t get high this time. Even if there was no reason to believe this time would be different, she still blindly hoped it would be.

The phone rang a few times before she heard his groggy voice whisper into the phone, “Hello?”

“Hey, Eddie. It’s me…” She paused, whispering ao her parents didn’t hear, “It's Friday night so I was wondering if I could come over and if you wanted to watch a movie or something?”

She could hear a stifled yawn across the line, “Of course, sweetheart. How could I ever say no to you?” Even in his tired, whispered tone she could hear the humor in his voice.

With a soft laugh and a wide smile, “Okay, I’ll be there in a bit.”

After brief goodbyes, she went back to her room to quickly dress into something comfortable but cute. Some sweatpants and a t-shirt with a black sweater. She left the house as silently as she could before grabbing her mom's car keys to the dusty old Volkswagen her mom never drives, and driving to Eddie’s house in the dark of the night.

***

Four solid knocks and the door swung open to Eddie, standing in nothing but boxers and his Hellfire t-shirt —which looked rumpled as it clung to him, as if he rushed out of bed and shrugged it on before answering. His hair array, eyes droopy and yet, she couldn’t imagine a world where her best friend wasn’t the most beautiful man in existence.

“Hey, you got here quick,” he smiled, holding his hand out for her to grab, “No traffic at this hour, I’m assuming.”

A quick, dry laugh and shifting to sit on his sofa, she turns to meet his doey brown eyes, “None at all, the streets are barren. I couldn’t imagine why!”

He always said he liked her best when she was sarcastic. So the smile on his face wasn’t too surprising as it reached wider than space. He sat beside her and that's when she saw it. With a laugh, “Yeah, everyone usually drives around at one im the morning!” There was a joint on the drawer where a lamp sat and a lighter beside it. Her smile fell into a frown. “Hey, I know you said you wanted to watch a movie but how about we move to my room and just talk? Not really in the mood for TV…” He turns and notices the frown on her lips. “You okay, princess?”

She hums, “Nothing… lets- yeah, lets move to your room…” She lifted herself off the sofa and walked to his room before he could even say anything else.

Still concerned, he takes his blunt, lights it, slips it between his lips and follows her. She’s already sat on his bed, fiddling with a strand of hair. After a drag,“You sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah!” It was high pitched and he didn’t trust that tone for a second. However, it was clear she didn’t want to talk about it so he dropped it.

After a curt nod, he walked over and sat next to her, “Okay, uh… what’d you do today after school? I didn’t see you and you didn’t answer the phone so I was a little worried…”

She smiles briefly, his concern warming her heart for a moment but her smile quickly wipes away when the smell of marijuana hits her senses, “I was with Steve and Robin at the video store for a little then Steve drove me home and watched Fast Times with me.”

Eddie tilts his head, “What? You-You watched Fast Times with Steve alone?”

She laughs dryly, “Yeah? Robin was gonna come but she had band practice at five so…” she shrugs as a way to finish the sentence.

His eyes shift to stare at the floor, “oh, cool.”

“What about you? What’d you do?”

He wasn’t gonna tell her that at the hour of three he waited at his van to drive her home, only to be disappointed when she didn’t show. Then waited for hours by the phone till his uncle told him to get some rest cause Eddie hadn’t realized it had been hours. But he also couldn’t lie to her, no matter how hard he tried to. He simply couldn’t. Instead, he told parts of the truth. “Well at four, I had a DnD campaign… then I drove home and ate some cereal… then I-uh… I just watched TV for a little. Then my uncle told me to go to bed while he was leaving for work so I just took a nap.”

She smiled again. “Sounds… boring.”

He laughs, “It was fucking miserable as hell.” He was far too anxious to be bored. He thought maybe she was mad at him, maybe she was hurt, maybe she was feeling upset and pushing him away or he did something wrong. She always rode home with him. Everyday. At seven thirty in the morning, she’d be at his trailer door after biking to his house to drive with him to school. Just to be together. When school ended, they met at his car so he could drop her off at his trailer to ride her bike home. Just to have a brief chat after school, to work off the nerves and be together. Plus her parents weren’t that fond of Eddie, they didn’t have any problems with him but they didn’t love him either. But she wasn’t in his van. She wasn’t there. He had DnD at four so he had to leave but he bounced his knee the whole time. He was overthinking all afternoon through to the evening without break. She didn’t need to know that, though.

“I bet.”

The minutes ticked by and soon enough, they had talked about anything and everything and it was no longer midnight but four in the morning. She decided to sleep over after Eddie insisted that it was too dangerous for her to go out at this hour. She changed into one of his shirts and boxers to act as shorts, but his chest was barren of a shirt as he laid beside her. He had a couple beers and smoked a little more. Being both high and drunk, she knew some of the things he was saying wouldn’t matter to him tomorrow. She knew if she told him what she wanted to tell him now, he wouldn’t respond well. It wouldn’t mean the same if she were to have told him sober. It also felt wrong. Like she was taking advantage of his vulnerable state to tell him something vulnerable. She felt like she couldn’t trust his words when he was high. Whether he felt the same or not. Either way, she couldn’t tell him. She was still a little angry. He was still high as he laid beside her, giggling at every word. But what he said that night frustrated her beyond belief. It was different. It shocked her as he never had the audacity before.

He whispered her name, and she turned to look at him. The moonlight hit her face just right and his filter was gone, “You look so beautiful. You always look beautiful. D’you know that?”

Scoffing, she rolled her eyes, “Go to sleep, Eddie.”

“No, then I can’t see you. I want to see you. All of you, even your stretch marks. I don’t care if you hate them because they are fucking awesome. You look so good in my shirts. Makes it look like… like you’re mine. Y’know? Not Harringtons, mine.” He placed his hand on her cheek and brushed his finger on her cheekbone. “Why wasn’t I invited? I would’ve loved to watch Fast Times with you and Steve “the hair” Harrington.” He muttered the name in a mocking dreamy tone.

Her eyes welled with tears. He had never said things like this when he was high. He had never confused her or frustrated her quite like this. The worst part is he didn’t mean it. He was in lala land, far up in the clouds. She felt safe with him. But right now? He was hurting her. She felt guilty for being mad at him because he wasn’t even aware he was hurting her. So, how could she be so angry with him when he was extremely clueless? She rolls over, smacking his hand away in the process. Her back now facing him, “Go to sleep, Munson.”

He was quiet for a moment, but with a pout on his lips, he wrapped his arms around her waist after a few minutes and held her close to him. He muttered a quick, “sorry.”

But it was too late. There were tears on her face and she had begun to shake. He had played with her heart and she couldn’t tell him she loved him now. He had broken her heart and stomped on it. Bruised her internally. It was like a mockery, like he was mocking her. He was saying all the things she wanted to hear but he wasn’t sober. He didn’t mean any of it. Maybe she was being dramatic, but knowing that only worsened the pain. She wasn’t gonna get any rest. He didn’t need to know that, though.

saturday.

11:57 | third

In the morning, she was gone. His shirt and boxers that she borrowed were folded and placed on the side she was laying on. Eddie frowned in seeing she wasn’t there. His memory was a little hazy but he felt something wasn’t right. It wasn’t just the fact that the pillow she laid her head on was wet with tears but it was a gut feeling. She always waited till he woke up before leaving. Always. Even if she slept over on a school night and she was going to be late to school. She still waited claiming, “If you’re late, I’m late.”

But she was gone.

It wasn’t the hangover that made him dizzy but the fact that he could smell her shampoo on his sheets. It filled his senses and he felt a warmth embrace his heart.

Till he overthought. Only in this case, it wasn’t overthinking.

She always helped him with hangovers. She made him a greasy breakfast with a glass of water and pain meds. Rubbed his back when he groaned from the pounding headache and made himself coffee. Sometimes, she would place her hands over his eyes when he said it was too bright. Her small hands covering his eyes as she giggled, asking “Did it work?” always gave him butterflies.

He always responded the same. “Yes, sweetheart. You’re magic.”

But the bed was empty. He couldn’t smell any breakfast or coffee brewing. There were no pain meds on the counter. It was him, a wet pillow and a pounding headache.

He spent the rest of the day like Friday. Waiting by the phone till his uncle told him to cut it out.

sunday.

15:33 | third

She wasn’t answering the phone. Her parents were out for work till Tuesday so he knew that she’d be alone. He didn’t want her to feel lonely. That was definitely all it was and not that he ached to see her.

It had been a little over twenty-four hours without her and he was slowly losing his mind.

He couldn’t remember what he said. He tried. He thought maybe he did something that upset her. Which ensued hours of him staring out the window as he tried to figure out what he could’ve said or done. But he came up blank every single time. He decided to go to her house.

At three thirty-three on a Sunday, Eddie finds himself at her door, bouncing on the heels of his feet and chewing on his lip.

But Steve Harringon opens the door.

“Steve! Hey, man, what’re you doing here?” He didn’t mean for it to sound so accusatory.

“Nothing, Y/N’s just not feeling well so I came over to help out,” He gave Eddie a closed lip smile, “Something I can help you with, man?”

He scratches the back of his neck, “Actually, I was hoping I could talk to Y/N? She hasn’t been answering the phone so I was worried…”

Eddie was her best friend. But the way Steve was looking at him made him feel like he was an outsider. Like he didn’t know her at all. Like he was replaced.

Because if she were sick, wouldn’t she call him? She’s called me before… I’ve helped her everytime she was sick… Why would she call Steve over me?

“Oh… we didn’t hear it. With Nancy comforting her nonstop and the TV on, I guess it drowned out…” Steve shrugs.

He sees the way Eddie’s face drops. The way he stills and mutters an, “Oh. Okay. Just… tell her to call me when she can…” he goes to turn away and returns home, but Steve grabs his wrist and turns to face him.

“You alright, Munson?”

Eddie’s eyes water, “Yeah, man. Just been really worried…” Steve gives him a knowing glare and frowns as Eddie’s voice cracks. Steve was aware of Eddie’s feelings. Almost everyone could tell but Y/N. Steve pulls Eddie into a brief hug and pats his back.

“I’ll tell her to call,” Steve gives him one last tight lipped smile before walking back inside, “See ya’ later, Munson.”

“Later, Harrington.”

The whole drive home, Eddie had a stone cold stare on the road. Black Sabbath played on the radio but for once, he wasn’t really listening.

When gets to his trailer, he doesn’t wait for the phone to ring. He trusts Steve told her to call but he knows she probably won’t if she’s truly unwell, and especially not if it was a lie to cover up her being upset with him. He heads straight for a shower then for bed.

But he struggles to sleep.

He still thinks of her.

monday.

9:45 | eddie

She is definitely fucking ignoring me.

I can’t help but frown as she walks past me like she doesn’t know me. I didn’t speak. I didn’t know what to say. What does one say when the person that means everything to them walks past as if they don’t exist? It was out of the ordinary so I froze. Stuck in place I watch her retreating form enter a classroom. My heart clenched and I suddenly felt nauseous. I get anxious… but never quite like this. That girl is destroying me and doesn’t even realize it. Or maybe she does. Maybe that’s why she’s ignoring me? Maybe I accidentally told her? I could say it was a lie… but it wasn’t.

“Eddie!”

Maybe I didn’t. Maybe I said something really mean…

“Hello? Eddie!”

Maybe I told her how I want to hold her in my arms after making lo-

“Eddie! What the hell are you looking at?” Finally turning to see Dustin looking up at me, furrowed brows and parted mouth.

Swallowing hard, I glanced at the door one more time before shrugging. “Nothing, what's up, man?”

Raising a brow, Dustin asks, “You sure? You weren’t looking at the door because Y/N’s in that class, right?” The curly brunette had a little smug smirk on face, “If you need help with getting a girlfriend, I have some tips.”

Scoffing, I shake my head, “I don’t need help, Henderson. And no. We talked about this.”

I start walking toward my class but the little shrimp follows me. “Sure, sure. The ol’ ‘No! I am not in love with my best friend!’ Even though she is literally the coolest person ever! She’s smart and funny and sometimes way more metal than-” I turn and give him a death glare that threatens him to finish that sentence. “Okay… just as metal as you.”

With a sigh, I stop walking and turn to him, “Well, the coolest person ever is ignoring me. So, unless you have any tips on how to get the coolest person ever to acknowledge me, please! Stop talking about it.”

I didn't mean to be rude. I was genuinely frustrated with the whole ordeal. I was beginning to be more than sad. I was angry. Why can’t she just talk to me?

“Who is the coolest person ever?” Our heads snap to Robin, who is now standing by the water fountain. She wipes her mouth of the excess water.

“Y/N. Eddie likes her.” Dustin blourts.

“Dude!” I punched his shoulder.

“Ow! What?-”

“I already knew.” Robin laughs. Again, we look at the freckled face girl.

“What? How?” I don’t have the energy to deny it anymore.

“Dude, we can all tell. You’re not exactly discreet. You look at the girl like she's heaven or… Black Sab-Sab- Whatever the fuck and drive her to and from school everyday. I’m surprised you didn’t walk in with her today,” Robin pauses, chuckling. “Oh, and you always buy her the cutest little presents. Didn’t you buy her a teddy bear with a hellfire shirt on her birthday? So cute!”

“Okay, one, it's Black Sabbath. Two, she… she didn’t show up this morning so I was actually late today. Three, the teddy bear came with a necklace that almost left me bankrupt. Now, who the hell knows about my… my ‘crush’ or whatever.”

Robin and Dustin glance at each other and in unison, “Everyone.”

***

After finding out that everyone and their grandmother knew about my love for my best friend, I had an added stressor. The day passed with me tapping my foot on the tiles, hiding in the bathroom, and watching Y/N with eager eyes. She didn’t look up at me once. Dustin was actually teasing me less and being more comforting after he saw how antsy I was actually feeling. I could feel everyone's eyes at my table burning into me. But still. I didn’t look away. She sat at another table. She never does that. She sits beside me, a queen beside her king. But there she was till she finished eating and left. She looked solemn, like she didn’t enjoy her new seating arrangement.

When the clock struck three, I found Steve Harrington's car parked outside the school. I was blinded by an emotion I rarely experienced. It was green, it was red. I slapped my hands on the open window sill.

“Jesus! Munson! What the hell, man?”

“Why’d you lie to me? She’s ignoring me, Harrington. Ignoring. I know you know I like her, apparently fucking everyone does. So, why didn’t you tell me that she’s ignoring me?” I was blinded by fury. Jealousy. Anger. “Why are you picking her up? Why can’t she even get in a fucking car with me?”

Sighing, Steve’s brown eyes met mine, I see the regret and the pity. “It’s- It’s not you.”

“Really? Why didn’t she answer the phone? Why is she avoiding me?”

“Okay, okay! She told us to not answer the phone… she just didn’t wanna be disturbed. She’s not feeling well. Nothing personal…” Steve looked me up and down before sighing. “Okay… maybe a little personal…” He opened the car door and I backed away. He stood before me and finally came clean. “The other night, you said something. She won’t tell me what but whatever it was… it fucked her up. So, me and Nancy were just hanging out with her till she calmed down. When you left I asked her to call but she said no. She called me during lunch and asked if I could pick her up… It didn’t feel right ‘cause I know that's your thing but she was crying so it felt wrong to say no.”

Nodding slowly, my big brown eyes look at the floor. So, I did fuck up.

“I… I hurt her?” I met his eyes again. He nods. I lose my train of thought. Any green or red within dissipated and I was left blue. I didn't realize when I started crying or when Steve hugged me. But over his shoulder, I see her. She stood at the doors. Eyes meeting mine. Something flashes in them.

I pull away from the hug. “Thanks. See you later.”

I rushed to my van.

I rushed home.

I rushed to bed.

I don’t wait for the phone to ring. Even though it did. It rang twice.

I ignored it.

I didn’t go to school Tuesday. Or Wednesday. But I went on Thursday.

And I had a plan.

thursday.

12:17 | third

Y/N was sitting at her new table, all alone and sipping on a carton of apple juice. Eddie was watching but this time with a smirk. He was going to find out what he said, if its the last thing he did. He stood from the table. Mike and Dustin’s eyes followed him but Gareth and Jeff remained looking at their food, used to Eddie’s antics. He walked towards Y/N’s table. Her elbow on the table and cheek in her palm. She wasn’t aware that he was nearing her, but his eyes never left her. He plopped in the seat across from her and placed his head in his hands, elbows on the table. He had a big smile on his face.

“Hey, sweetheart.” Her eyes widened and she put the drink down. “You've been ignoring me a bit.”

“No, just…” Her eyes move to the table.

“Avoiding? Acting like I don’t exist?” He crossed his arms on the table and leaned forward.

“I tried calling Monday.” She looked up into his big doe eyes but he was fiddling with his rings.

“Yeah, after I found out from someone else that I hurt you,” He paused and looked up, staring into her eyes, “Why couldn’t you just come to me? I thought we trusted each other? That we were best friends?”

“We are!” She leaned forward.

They were close. They both realized it. Two heartbeats racing and both oblivious.

“Then why not come to me? Why not talk about it? You know I’d always be here for you, even if I say stupid shit high.” He tilts his head, secretly taking advantage of the close proximity to examine her features and smell that shampoo she left behind on his sheets.

“That’s the problem! Okay? You’re always high or drunk. Am I that obnoxious that you can’t stand to hang out with me sober?” She stood abruptly and took her tray with her. He was sat frozen for a moment before he comprehended what just occurred. She had tossed the trash on the tray out and placed it on the designated counter. He stood and followed her outside, where he found her walking toward the phone booth.

“Uh-uh, this isn’t over, princess!” He grabs her wrist and turns her to him. “What do you mean? Of course you’re not obnoxious, why would you think that?”

“How could I not? Why else are you always under the influence? I know I don’t do that stuff so maybe I’m boring or something, I just- I don’t know.” There were tears in her eyes, she really didn’t want to have this conversation. She looks to the ground for some comfort. “It’s stupid and I’m insecure but I really just have this uncontrollable feeing that I can’t tell you some things when you’re high. I’m sorry, I know there was a better way to deal with all this and I-I’m a coward. I just- I was scared to talk about it. I feel like an idiot. I don’t mind you getting high or drunk, it’s your body so you can do whatever. It’d just be nice if you weren’t fucked up eveytime we hung out.”

He grabs her chin with his pointer finger and thumb, pulls her to meet his eyes. “You’re not an idiot. Okay? Don’t cry, baby.” He pulled her into a hug after slipping a new nickname.

“I’m sorry for ignoring you, I know you’ve been anxious lately. It was wrong of me to leave you. I’m so sorry.” She cried into his chest.

“Hey, it’s okay. I promise. I’m sorry for making you feel that way. For always being stoned. I need to ask you something, though.”

“Yes?” She pulled away.

“What did I say Friday night?”

She was silent and began chewing her lip, “Y-you… said a lot of stuff.”

“Like?”

“Like… uh, that I’m pretty. That you like to-to see me in your shirts and that you like how it looks like I’m yours when I wear them… You were a little jealous of Steve by the sound of it…”

His eyes widened and he swallowed. The memory flooded back in.

“You look so good in my shirts. ‘Makes it look like… like you’re mine. Yknow? Not Harringtons, mine.”

“Oh…” He muttered.

“Yeah…”

“W-Well… what’s so wrong with that? We can still be friends even if I-I want you to be mine… I would hope that wouldn’t push you away.. I… Well, I was a little jealous of Harrington because… like, you shouldn’t be alone watching movies with questionable distance between you ‘cause who knows what could happen! I wouldn’t want that especially when I want you to be mine so… and you are pretty! That’s a given, we already knew this. We all did apparently! Fucking everyone in Hawkins knows I’m obsessed with you, so I-I don’t see why it warranted you ignoring me…I bet even the teddy bear I bought you for your birthday knows, I figured you might’ve too. But I don’t see why that has to tear us apart, you’re my best friend and I can’t promise I’ll get over it! But if you marry someone else, I’ll support it because I just need you to be happy even if it-” She put her hand over his mouth.

“Shut up!” She had a mouth splitting grin on her lips. “Eddie Munson, I ignored you because I thought you were lying. I love you. The thought of you lying hurt too much. I wanted you sober so I could say that I love you. God, I hope you don’t want me to marry someone else…”

She moves her hand to let him speak, “Dear god, no. I’d rather lose my guitar…” She looks at him skeptical. “Okay, maybe not but you get it okay.”

She giggled and that sound filled his ears straight to his heart.

“You love me?” He asked, a smirk on his face.

“Yes. Took way too long to tell you.” She stood on her tippy-toes and gave him a brief peck on the lips.

“Jesus, if I knew I could get this sooner, I would’ve quit altogether…” She looked skeptical again. “Okay, fine! Not really but you get it, okay? C’mere.”

He grabbed her cheeks and pulled her in, pressing her lips against his for longer. She could feel the cold metal of his rings on her warm cheeks and the softness of his lips that danced with hers. Her hands wrapped around his waist. She didn’t realize when his tongue entered her mouth but she knew one thing.

She wanted this moment to last forever. They pulled away, eyes glazed over with pure adoration.

He whispered, “Kiss me like this everyday?” She nodded. Eddie smiled softly. “Good. You don’t have to worry anymore, sweetheart. I’ll gladly be sober with you.”

Never Again

the five times he saw you with bruises and the one time you saw him with bruises.

pairing: billy hargrove x thicc!reader (f)

word count 8.9k

note: reader has thick thighs and stretch marks, i'd rather jump off a bridge than write about characters with "perfect bodies" ew. also im chubby and i dont remember what it was like to be skinny. ok ms thiccums. also readers birthday is in winter shh. this is sort of an au where billy got left back a year and he still works at pool, steves at record store and billys alive. billys a little bit ooc but who cares lmao

playlist. moodboard. masterlist.

warnings!: abuse!, domestic abuse, violence, sexual assault mentioned, mention of ro*fie/date drug, assault, fighting, bullying, depression, loneliness, anxiety, a LOT of swearing/cursing, making out (?) etc... fluff, comfort, angst.

i. - yn pov

The cold wind kissed my skin as I stepped off the dingy school bus and toward Hawkins High. My backpack slung over my shoulder as I tug on my flannels sleeves and fidget with anxiety, walking through, past the other students that seemed to enjoy loitering. Another miserable day in hell. My combat boots smack the concrete as I enter the building, escaping from the chilly temperature into the stuffy halls and heading straight for my locker. I grab my notebook to place it in my backpack and put away my winter coat. Having earbuds in, I don’t hear the obnoxious smacking of gum and tapping of tacky flats coming toward me. Not till her hand pushes me toward the wall. One of my headphones was knocked out.

“I’m talking to you, new girl!” The voice was impossible to not recognize. Turning around to make eye contact and confirm my theory, I send a distasteful glare to Carol.

“And yet, I can’t seem to give a fuck.” I was never one to let popular kids knock me around. Seemingly everyone bullies and annoys me with ease, but I always defend myself. I only don’t speak when their whole purpose is to get a rise out of me.

Her expression changes from annoyed to offense and fury. “Listen, slut. Either you explain why you stole my bracelet and give it back or I will fuck you up.”

Raising a brow I looked down at my wrist where I had my grandmother's silver bracelet wrapped around and chuckled at the insane accusation. “This is my grandma’s, dumbass. I didn’t take your stupid fucking bracelet.”

“I beg to fucking differ, it’s one of a kind!” She yells, catching the attention of other passerbys in the hills. Suddenly I’m filled with rage as she raises her voice at me.

“Clearly not. I’m not dealing with this right now, it’s too early.” I go to walk away and escape the conversation when suddenly she grabs and tugs my arm. I land on the ground, hard, on my back.

“Nuh-uh, not till you give it back!” She straddles me, holding my hands down with her knees and starts throwing punches. “Give it back!”

How do I give it “back” if you’re holding me down, dumbass!

This was ridiculous. I was almost embarrassed for the girl. She actually threw punches… over a bracelet. It all happened so fast. My eye burned and my face was sore and my lip was stinging. Then someone came behind Carol and pulled her off of me. My face was warm and I took deep breaths. I could feel blood dripping out of my nose and my lip was busted. I swallow hard and taste blood on my tongue before rising to sit up. My vision was blurry but I could see a shape of what seemed to be Tommy pulling Carol away, the yelling reverberating in my ears. Behind me I feel someone place an arm on my back and under my knees, lifting me and carrying me toward the nurses office.

I try to see who lifted me but as we pass the bright lights in the halls, my eyes get irritated and I shut them quickly. The person is warm and I feel denim gently scraping my arm. I don’t need to wonder for long as I hear his voice. “Jesus, L/N. It’s not even twelve yet and you already got a beating?”

“Shut up, Hargrove.” My voice is so weak it surprises me. His name is even more bitter than the blood on my tongue.

“It’s almost a new record. Not one to be proud of. But it's something, sugar.”

Billy Hargrove and I constantly bickered. I hated him and he hated me but not enough to not want to get in my pants. We were often associated as his stupid friends frequently beat me to hell and he beat my guy friends. I envy him. Everyone absolutely adores him. I can pretend I don’t care about being liked but deep down, there's this irritating desire to be loved. But someone, anyone. The fear that if my own mother doesn’t love me, why would anyone else?

Billy was perfect. He was attractive, fit, and the Hawkins High king. He hardly even needed to try. And me? I was the nobody.

I hated him for it.

“I’d rather you left me on the floor, Billy!” When I wiggle to try and escape his arms, his grip only gets tighter.

He scoffs as he opens the nurse’s office door with his foot. “Don’t be so dramatic, shortcake.”

I’m sitting on a medical cot as I hear the clicking of the nurse’s heels rushing toward me. “Oh my- what happened, hun?”

I assumed Billy left the room as I explained I was in a fight to Nurse Jen. Why would he stay? But after the teacher cleaned my eyes and I was able to blink them open, I see him sitting there across the room, watching with crossed arms and a brooding stare as the nurse dabbed at my bruises. I raise a brow at him and he only sends a sly grin in response. When the nurse finishes up with my bruises and busted lip, she looks up at me with soft brown eyes. “Can you have someone drive you home?”

“I’ll take her home,” She and I turned to Billy as he spoke. “Still live out of town?”

I nod softly, surprised he remembered that from the party a few months ago that my best friend dragged me to. He had to drive me home and dropped me off after someone tried to roofie me. As I said, this school is hell.

The nurse nods, grabbing my hand and helping pull me up. At first, it was like it all rushed to my head, the world began to spin, blurring slightly. It cleared quickly and I stumbled slightly. Billy rushes forward to grab my arms and hold me up. Surprisingly, his expression is filled with genuine concern. “Alright, c’mon, L/N.” He lifts me up just as he did before and carries me out to the car. The nurse left me with an ice pack for my head and packet of bandaids. What the fuck do I do with this? Billy sets me down in the passenger seat of his camaro. He begins driving after a heavy sigh. Who would’ve thought I’d wake up, go to school, get my ass kicked, and then get driven home by Billy Hargrove. I giggle childishly at the thought while staring out the window. “What’re you laughing at, sugar?”

“This is… not at all what I expected from my day…” I shake my head and frown. “Billy Hargrove, the man who hates me for everything but my tits, driving me home.”

He scoffs, “Is that how you think of me? Really?”

I nod fervently, wincing as it hurt my jaw. “Absolutely.”

He’s silent. Just for a moment. “Jesus, that’s… a low point of view.”

“Well, you never really treated me with a high regard… not till this moment and that party a few weeks ago. You aren’t really that nice to me. You’re just snarky and pervy.” I continue to mumble under my breath about how everyone is always mean to me but Billy isn’t listening after what I said about him.

He stares blankly to the road before him as he drives. The radio buzzing silently and I purse my busted lips as I look over to him. His gaze is concentrated and pensive. “I’m not that shitty of a person, Y/N.”

I swallow hard. “Sure.”

“I’m not!” He seemed genuinely angry, sincerely aggravated. “I have fuckin’ morals.”

“Then quit whining and act like it.” I huff, leaning to look out the window. He grunts, choosing to keep quiet and ignore me.

The rest of the car ride is silent. One hour of complete silence, other than the light sound of Metallica playing on the radio. I dozed off but every time I’d feel my eyes close, Billy shoved me, mumbling something about “concussions.”

Pulling up to my house, I rush to get out but Billy darts to my side of the car. “What’re you doing?” I say, shocked.

“You can hardly walk, sugar. I’m helping you get inside safely.” His tone is sarcastic but intentions are pure. I would roll my eyes if they didn’t hurt so much.

I let him help walk me inside my house. My parents were at work and I’m secretly grateful for Billy driving me. My mother would’ve screamed at me for making her drive all the way back and maybe even done worse. As I sit on my mattress, I look to Billy who helped me up the stairs, through the pavement and drove me from school and finally I gathered the courage. “Billy…” He looks into my eyes after finding pain relievers in my drawer and placing them on my bedside table. His blue eyes were hypnotizing and I finally understood why all the girls fawned over him. “Thank you. You don’t understand how much you just helped me.” I give him a small, warm smile.

His gaze flips between my eyes and lips before he takes a deep breath, “Don’t thank me, sweetheart, it’s the least I can do. Lemme go get you some water. You got any snacks or pajamas I can bring you so you don’t have to get up too much?”

I nod carefully. Billy was being soft. He was gentle and kind. I guess he’s trying to show his morals like I suggested. “In the drawer, top shelf is my jammies, there's chips in the kitchen. I-I’m only allowed to eat the potato chips, though…”

He nods, not asking too much. He grabs the pajamas from my drawer, a large t-shirt that I stole from my ex, and sweatpants. He laid it on the bed and left for the water and chips. Quickly, I got dressed and tucked myself under the blankets. Billy was quick, walking into my room with a bag of chips and a glass of water. He placed it on the bedside table and I quickly took the pain relievers with a large gulp of water. He looks around my room, his eyes landing on a book, journal and pencil on the desk in the corner of my room. He grabs them and places them beside me. “Do some reading and drawing or something and get some rest in like two hours.You don’t wanna get a concussion, trust me.”

I laugh, dryly. “Thank you, Hargrove.”

“When do your parents get back?”

“Uh, depends. My dad comes back around nine and my mom… My mom varies. It could be six on a good day or midnight on a bad day.” I sigh, grasping the book before opening to where I left off.

His brows furrowed and I saw the expression on his face shift as he tried to decide whether he should ask questions or not. He chooses not. “Okay… make sure not to get into trouble? See you around, sugar.” He ruffled my hair and just like that, he left.

ii. - yn pov

I didn’t want to come to this party but my best and only friend Rachel had forced me here. Well, more so, threatened to leave me home alone with my mother. So there I stood, next to a bowl of spiked punch, as people sent judgemental glances my way. I was completely fine minding my own business, till a pretty girl with a ponytail so tight it practically pulled her hairline out. I recognized her as… Natalie? Nicole? One of those for sure… “You’re the new girl, right? The one who stole Carol's bracelet?” Her speech was slurred and she seemingly was clueless to the concept of personal space.

“I’m new but I didn’t steal Carol's bracelet. If she told you otherwise then she’s a lying, delusional bitch.” Okay, maybe it was harsh. However I couldn't find it in me to care at the moment. I wanted to go to sleep.

She snarled her red lips and with a bitter tone, “Well, that ‘b-word’ is my friend so watch what you say, freak. What are you even doing here? I didn’t know they were inviting losers?”

With a sarcastic smile, I cross my arms, “Aw! Well, duh! That's why they invited you, silly!”

She gasps before clenching her teeth, “At least I’m not a virgin with no freaking friends.”

It was so easy to piss these people off, I didn’t need to put in the effort of getting physical. But I was so very tired and restless, I wasn’t in the mood frankly. I just grabbed her pretty and oh so perfect blonde ponytail and dumped her head in the spiked punch bowl. When she pulled back, she wiped the punch out her eyes and screeched. “Whore!” Huh, so she can curse.

“But I thought I was a virgin?” I send a snarky smile to the brat. Bad idea.

She tackled me and pathetically smacked me while straddling me. It wasn't as bad as Carol, however I still had some bruises staining my skin, so it hurt. And this time, I had my hands to cover me. It wasn’t enough though as she smacked me harder and harder. The crowd just chanted “fight, fight, fight” before someone finally pulled the rabid beast off me. I sighed heavily before trudging out the door.

My thoughts race. I’d rather walk home than stay there a second later. I don’t care if my house is twenty minutes away by car and forty walking. Rachel can yell at me in the morning, I don’t care.

But just as I make it to a street corner after fifteen minutes of walking, I notice a light shining behind me. The street has been empty since I first started walking so, out of curiosity, I turned to check who it may be.

“Oh my god.” I rolled my eyes as I noticed the familiar camaro driving toward me. “Do you just have a sixth sense or something?”

“Another beating, Y/N? Jesus, that's two in under a month, what happened?” Billy leans his head out the car. The street corner was getting cold so I stuck my head in the car to sneak some warmth.

“Well, Nicole was being disrespectful so I shoved her face in a bowl of punch and she decided to assault me. Plain and simple, Hargrove. Care to give me another ride home, please? I really don’t wanna walk in heels and bruises.” I pout, slight playful flirtation in my eyes as he rolls his and tilts his head to motion me to hop in.

I giggled at the music choice. “What's funny?”

“You’re playing metallica again, it’s like fuckin’ deja vu.”

He laughs, shaking his head, “I can’t believe you can laugh when you look like you’ve been fucking run over. You get into too many fights. I’m being serious, it’s reckless and dangerous, sugar. You gotta stop.” He scolds me like a child.

I huff, sarcastically, “Okay, dad. Since when did you give a fuck what I do? Figured you couldn't care less.”

“Like I said last time, I got morals. If I see someone who doesn’t deserve a beating all bruised up, it's pretty upsetting, shortcake.”

I laugh, sarcastically. “Well, you’re surely getting better at showing it. Seriously, do you think carrying my bag for me to two classes is gonna make me think you have morals? Or saying bless you when I sneeze? That's just manners, Hargrove, I’m concerned you just started saying bless you and thank you to people. It's basic respect.”

He stops, rather aggressively, in the middle of the empty road. “Don’t you talk to me about respect like you’re my fucking father. You can't seem to avoid getting your ass kicked, what are you a child? Desperate for attention? A masochist? What? What's wrong with you that you so desperately need to get assaulted every day? Mommy not giving you enough attention at home?”

That felt like a slap across the face. Especially since my mother couldn’t care less if someone hit me. She’d fully support it. The comment made my eyes water, every word leading me closer and closer to the tears that started rolling down my rosy and bruised cheeks. His angry expressions alter to one of shock and perhaps even a flash of guilt. He opened his mouth to speak but he was speechless as I cried silently beside him. “Fuck you, Hargrove.”

He bit his pursed lip and started driving again. It was quiet for a bit till he gathered his courage to speak again. “Listen… that… that wasn't cool of me. I’m-I am… sorry. That was fucked up. I shouldn’t have said that. I just-I don’t like seeing you like this. I don’t know why. It really fucking bothers me though.”

The word sorry sounded like he choked just trying to get it out. He was so clearly not used to apologizing however I couldn’t find it in me to care. He tried. And it seemed genuine. That impressed me more than I could imagine. “Just… take me home please.”

The rest of the drive is silent till he’s pulling over in front of my house again. I catch my breath and wipe my tears as Billy hops out and walks to the passenger seat, opening the door for me. It was chivalrous and honestly surprising. I looked at him with a questioning gaze as he walked me to my door. Mentally, I celebrated being able to walk, unlike last time. “Hey, I was wondering … that shirt you wore last time? Where did you get it from? It looked familiar.”

I raise a brow at his question. “Uh, its my ex boyfriend’s. I never threw it out and he never picked it up so I just… kept it? I guess.”

He hums. “Here…” He pulls his denim jacket off and hands it to me before tugging his white shirt off and swapping that for the denim jacket. “Wear that… It’s really weird to wear your ex’s clothing. Creepy.” I can see him visibly gulp.

“Yeah?” With a lopsided grin on my face, I look down at the white t-shirt in my hands. Then I met his hypnotizing blue eyes once more. They were filled with something indescribable. Something different from the usual lust, gloom and humor that filled them. Something I didn’t quite understand yet. “You’re really confusing, Billy Hargrove.”

He laughs. It was a nice laugh too, I'll admit. Still hate him though, definitely. Definitely hate him, Mhm. “Tell me about it, Y/N L/N.” He raises both brows, looking between my eyes then my lips before walking backwards. “See ya’ round, shortcake. I gotta go find my sister, stay out of trouble, please.”

“See ya’.” There's a part of me that celebrates seeing him go, then some forbidden, sadistic, masochistic part if me cries deep down and begs him to come back mentally. “Asshole.”

iii. - third pov

Billy started acting weird.

Whenever Y/N passed him in the hall, he ignored her.

No snarky remarks or flirtatious lines. He stopped being cruel to his sister, he waited more patiently for her after school. He was using manners with teachers and other students and actually showed up for class. He was doing better in school in general and he showed up on time. She’d find him watching her when she’d look up to find who was burning a gaze into her flesh. It was always him. But when she tried to speak to him, he gave one word answers and walked away claiming he had something to do.

You’re really confusing, Billy Hargrove.

Tell me about it.

He’s playing with my feelings. Her thoughts race. Except there are no feelings, I definitely hate him. Right? So why does it hurt when he ignores me? When he passes without a word or a glance. Why did it give me butterflies when I caught him looking at me or how, not so discreetly, looked over in the morning to see if I got off the bus before going in just to know if I was around. What would he do if I wasn’t? Why did I want to know? Was it so strange to miss our dynamic? Our banter?

Nonetheless, she continued her life as usual. Weekdays were school till three, work at the arcade till six, taking the bus home, shower, sleep. Weekends were work from seven to three, taking the bus home, yoga, shower, study, sleep. She only had about one or two friends, so there wasn’t much “hanging out” squeezed in. Except there was a disruption in her schedule on this particular day. Saturday. Noon. In front of the arcade, Max is sitting beside Y/N with a deep frown on her lips.

Max came in at her usual eleven in the morning and all went smoothly till some grown man came and gave her trouble for “hogging” the machine. So, in an attempt to defend her, Y/N walked up and asked him to leave. Which resulted in a bruised cheekbone, split lip and broken wrist. Now they sit on the curb, waiting for Max’s brother to pick her up so Y/N can go to the hospital and receive treatment.

“Are you sure Billy will take me? He didn’t seem too happy last time he saw me all bruised up…”

His words imprinted in her memory, joined by those blue eyes that filled with concern. If I see someone who doesn’t deserve a beating all bruised up, it's pretty upsetting, shortcake.

“Last time?” The redhead's eyebrow quirks.

“Yeah, he gave me a ride once… twice. Whatever, just… are you sure he won't be mad?” Worry lacing her tone.

“It’ll be fine, Y/N/N,” She takes a pause, placing a hand on Y/N’s knee. “And who cares what that asshole thinks anyway?”

The older girl releases a small laugh, “Yeah, who cares…” She did. She cared too much. She didn’t know when it happened or how. She couldn’t even admit to herself that it had. But she grew fond of the blond curlyhead casanova.

“And also… I didn’t get to say thank you. No one really defends me like that… You looked really badass, at least.” Max giggles.

With a pained smile, “No problem, kiddo. I can’t believe he broke my wrist, though, that's still so crazy to me.”

“Yeah, that was crazy. Hey, your eyeliner is still intact?” The statement was more of a question as she questionably clung onto whatever she had in mind to cheer Y/N up.

The pair giggle till the familiar rumble of Billy’s camaro can be heard speeding toward the arcade. It skids to a stop and Billy comes rushing out the car toward the duo, who stood quickly. “What the fuck happened, Y/N? Didn’t I tell you to be careful?”

“Hard to remember what you said when you haven’t even acknowledged me till this moment.”

“Sweetheart, It's hard to not acknowledge such a hot chick so don’t spout such bullshit. No what the fuck is going on with your wrist?” He goes to grab her wrist but she yelps in pain and he pulls back quickly, his previously flirtatious expression filled with genuine concern.

“The dude broke it…” She had broken wrists before. He had broken legs, ribs, jaw, arms, feet, fingers. She’s had numerous broken bones, fractures, sprains. She wasn’t too panicked about the wrist. But the pain never felt nice.

His eyes flash back to hers, anger spirling her new favorite shade of blue, “Dude? A fucking guy did it? Is he still here?”

“No, he… he left.” She looks him up and down. He was wearing a red button up and she could see a peak of his chest. His cheeks flushed red in anger, and Max? She was thriving. She hasn’t felt so joyous in years. Suddenly it all made sense. Why Billy was so nice, so respectful, so much… happier?

Her.

“Okay… let’s go. I gotta get you to a hospital.”

Max sat in the back and her bright blue eyes flicked between the two sat in the front. Curious and intrigued, she hung on every second.

“Do you have an addiction to getting your ass kicked?”

“I guess so.”

More silence.

He looks at her and then back to the road. Then he takes a double take. “You look good in my shirt, by the way.”

It was then she realized she was wearing the very shirt he gave her off his back the last time they actually spoke. “Thanks.”

Max covered her mouth to disguise her smile.

Billy actually likes someone? And it's Y/N?!

“Y’know… I’m probably gonna get fired. I’m really gonna need a new job. Actually, to be honest… I pay the majority of the rent at my house… My mom… she doesn’t really…” Y/N clears her throat as she chokes a sob that threatens to leave her with teary eyes. “She doesn’t really pay rent. She works but… not for rent.” She wipes her face with her unbroken wrist. Then wiping the tears on her jeans.

Billy could feel his heart drop at the sound of her broken voice. “I’ll help you get a job. I promise. I’ll see if you can work at the pool with me or maybe I could get Harrington to let you work at the record store. I will help get you a job.”

She let out an exhale and a laugh, “Did you know the first day where you found me all bruised up in December… It was my birthday. I turned eighteen. No one said anything. Except for Max and my best friend. My own mother forgot. Or she just didn’t care.”

She was staring blankly at the road. All Billy could get out was a weak apology as he reached over to grasp her unbroken hand. Max beamed.

As they parked in front of the hospital, Y/N stepped out. “You sure you don’t want me to come with you?” Max thought her cheeks were gonna break by how wide her smile became. He’s worried, how cute.

“I’m fine, Hargrove. Now, just… I’ll see you Monday, okay? Don’t… don’t ignore me?”

“I won’t, I promise.”

“You made a lot of promises today, hope you mean 'em’.” She smiled and walked into the emergency room. Max quickly ran out of the car to switch to the front seat and buckled in with a massive grin on her face and a “I-know-your-secrets” glare in her eyes.

“Oh god, what now, Max?”

“So… In love with Y/N, are we?” She smirked, tilting her head. “No wonder you’re so nice.”

He scrunched his face in mock disgust. “What? No! She’s just- We’re just kind of… friends now, I guess. It’s platonic.”

“Really? You held her hand and Oh Y/N I’ll get you a job, I promise, I’ll protect you, My princess, where is she? I care so much about you! Oh! I love you so much-” Her mocking tone and giggling was cut short as Billy suddenly stepped on the gas suddenly. Her laughing only intensifies.

“Shut up! It’s not like that. She’s just… Okay, I never met anyone as incredible or strong and unpredictable. She is the funniest, smartest yet somehow densest person I know and I don’t know if I wanna scream or kiss her but she’s the strongest most fucking irresistable woman I know and I have to stay away from her or else I get all these… emotions… I guess, that I can’t fucking deal with, okay? But it’s just… temporary. We’re platonic!” He just sounded like a contradicting machine that wanted to convince itself of a lie.

Max grinned one last time. “Sure, Billy, sure.”

iv. - third pov

Max’s joy only lasted a week.

Billy made an effort to speak to her but everytime he grew awkward. It was unfamiliar to him. And Y/N? Max hardly recognizes her. Her wrist was covered in a white cast with blue wrapping and the bruises she received at the arcade were healing well. But she was limping. She was covering her face. She was wearing long sleeves, even though it was now March and the weather was warming. It worried Max. Poor girl didn’t know what to do. So she went to Billy. Told him her concerns.

“What do you mean limping?“

“Limping! What else does it mean?” Even in serious conversations, her sarcasm never failed. “It’s been really warm lately and she still wears that black hoodie and sweatpants. She’s hot cause she always asks for the air conditioner so I don’t know why she doesn’t just take it off unless…”

“Don’t…”His heart kicked up, “You think… you think more bruises?”

“Yeah or she did something herself….” She frowns in concern. Shaking his head, thoughts filling with the worst of the worst, he begnis marching down the halls, searching for his shortcake.

He bumps into Carol who squeaks like a mouse and stumbles. “Billy, what the fuck?”

“Have you seen Y/N?” He was frantic.

“Who-?”

“Y/N! Have you seen Y/N!” Carol was startled till an expression of realization overtook her features.

“Oh! New girl?” She shook her head, “No, I haven’t seen her today-“

“Then you’re useless. And she’s not even fucking new, she’s been in this school longer than me, Catherine.” He rolls his eyes and begins walking once again.

“It’s Carol-“

He walked completely off, effectively cutting her off and sending a simple message. You’re irrelevant.

Finally catching a glimpse of a girl in a black hoodie and sweatpants, he grips her shoulder and tugs her into the nearest supply closet. “Take off your hoodie.”

“Woah, I know you’re a horny bastard, Hargrove but at least ask me to dinner first-” She chuckles, rolling her shoulders.

“I’m not kidding, Y/N. Take off your hoodie or explain.” His expression was stern in the dimly lit closet.

Silence. It was then they noticed the closed space, they were so close that one inch forward and their noses would touch. She could explore his blue eyes and well defined facial structure, the spiral of his curls and count his freckles and he could sink in her eyes and imagine the taste of her lips. God, he can’t stop staring at her lips. But he grasped her chin and tilted her head side to side to observe a few new fade bruises, she smacked his hand. She stares at him with a blank expression. “There's just… it’s just… more bruises. Nothing serious.”

Scoffing, “From who?”

Shaking her head. This one was different. She couldn’t tell him who did this one. “Billy, I’m not comfortable talking about this right now. Okay? It's really personal and I-I just want to get through the day so I can go to sleep. Even if everyday on the bus home is like a sentence to hell…” She mumbled the last sentence, raising her able hand to brush a strand behind her ear.

“Why? What's at home?”

“Nothing… just my mom and I never really got along well. It's nothing bad, just frustrating.” His eyes had not looked at hers since the silence. His eyes have been trained to her lips. Watching her form every syllable. “You know, I got eyes you can look at, too, right?” She smirked.

“I-I am looking at your eyes, you just can’t tell 'cause it's dark.” His eyes flick to hers.

“If we’re calling my lips my eyes then sure!” She tilts her head playfully. The air in the small closet was tight and hotter and hotter by the second.

He smirked, “Well, about taking your hoodie off…” His hands tug on her collar to push her body closer to his. She scoffs and pushes him to the wall.

“In your dreams, Hargrove.” She walks out the enclosed space but Billy follows close behind.

“I’m just saying, if all this time I just had to take you to dinner, I would’ve done it long ago!” He walks side by side with her. “No, but seriously, if it's personal then that's okay. I understand, just, y’know Max told me who broke your wrist and now he has a concussion so…”

She stops abruptly and turns to him. “What?”

“I figured out it was Bryce Turner so I found him at his job and knocked him out, no big deal,” He shrugs, “He hurt you, that's not right.”

She looks at him, entirely suspicious. “What the hell changed? You see me bruised up once or twice and suddenly you care about me as a person? Suddenly you defend me? What the hell, Billy?”

He exhales, heavily, glancing around the halls. “Can we not talk about this here? It’s really not that serious, I just know how it feels to take a beating, I’ve been in a few fights myself if you can’t tell.”

Shaking her head, “No, a few months ago, you couldn’t fucking stand me. You only bared my presence to get a chance to fuck me. So, is this just a trick? This is all an act, this new you? Is it real? Or is this an elaborate plan to fuck me, Billy? Because I’m sick of everyone in my life using me.”

He opened his mouth to speak but he didn’t know how to tell her. He couldn’t tell her. He shakes his head, “I’m not trying to use you, it’s… it’s unrelated. I promise. I’m sorry I made you feel that way, though.”

Sharing blank stares, she bites her lip. “Another promise, hm?” He bows his head. “See ya’, Billy.”

She wanders off from him, off to her next class. He’s left alone in a crowded hallway, heart sunk to his stomach and a new anxiety he didn’t appreciate.

v. - yn pov

Sobbing uncontrollably on a Sunday night, walking in the rain to Billy Hargrove’s house at two in the morning was not my ideal experience. But my life never went according to plan.

The cut on my lip down my chin and bleeding nose was evidence enough, let alone the numerous fresh black and blue marks covering my cheeks and body. A solid handprint outlined in red on my wrist when she yanked me toward the front door. My tailbone still ached from when I fell ass first into the pavement. She screams demanding me to leave “her” house, even though I pay the majority of the rent.

My ribs were healing well from the last time she hit me but after her recent blows, they ached and stung. My wrist is still wrapped in a cast that shouldn’t be wet. My ankle, that she had smashed on the wooden ground when I refused to get out of bed and she dragged me off it, now had shards and fragments of glass lodged in the arch of my foot from the vase she had thrown at my foot. The wet concrete was incredulously painful against my feet which were clad in only socks. My mother doesn’t really think to give me shoes before throwing me out. She just knows she wants me out and doesn’t care what condition I’m in whilst “out.”

It was humiliating to be walking towards Billy Hargrove’s house for support, for help, for comfort. When in September he and I hated each other. Sure, he tried to seduce me but that was a joke. No one found me attractive, he was making fun of me. Right? So, why in December, on my birthday that no one ever celebrated, did he lift me in his arms and help me get medical attention? Why did he care? That's what I clung onto as I took steps closer and closer to his house. The bright hope lying in that memory. Billy Hargrove cared even a little bit.

I didn’t really have anyone else. My best friend was in Florida visiting her grandmother and all my family was in New York. All I had was Billy.

His door was intimidating, but my body shivered so aggressively and my heart thumped so heavily I realized I had no choice. With eyes filled with many tears, my vision was blurry, my throat dry, body wrenched and my heart aching… I knocked on his door. The sound hardly made it over Metallica playing faintly through the door, the only sign other than the turned on living room light that he was there.

I knock again. “Jesus, M… can’t you, at least… door?” I could hear him faintly through the door. Suddenly, it swung open and there he stood. A red button-up tucked into jeans clung to his frame well. His expression switched from anger to shock and concern.

“Y/N, what- what the fuck happened?”

“I-I’m so-so sorry, Billy… I don’t have anywhere to go, I just- I would’ve called but I can’t get in my house so I- I just walked her and I- fuck, I just need help, please!” Each word came out with a choked sob. He gently grabbed my elbow and, with a softness I couldn’t imagine ever coming from him, he pulled me in for a hug. “Billy, y-you’re gonna get wet-”

“Jesus, I don’t care. C’mon, let me take care of you. We’re lucky my parents are gone.”

***

After gently taking out the shard in my foot with a tweezer, and asking Max for her tweezer in the first place, he gave me some medical alcohol, ointments, bandages and wraps to use after a shower. He even gave me a new wrist cast, which I’d have to ask later why he has it. He left me another one of his shirts and a pair of his boxers while he let me take a shower. When I got out, he was wearing a t-shirt and boxers. There were too white mugs and chocolate chip cookies on the coffee table as well as a mountain of VHS tapes. He was wrapped in a red blanket and his foot tapped anxiously on the wooden ground. This is new… certainly not unwelcome but new.

“Uhm, thank you…”

His head snapped in my direction at the sound of my voice.

“Did you walk here?”

“Oh- uh, yeah… more so limp but yeah…”

“Jesus Christ, Y/N, what's going on? Who did this to you? I’ve never seen you cry like that, it… it hurt and I got really scared for you… are you okay?” His eyes were always so pretty to me. How the blue could tell so much about him, what he was feeling, thinking. I could see so much truth to his words, so much concern.

Sighing, I bite the bullet. Its stupid, but I really trusted Billy. “My mom has been like this since I was ten…” I train my eyes to the ground. The pattern of the wood was far less horrific than those gorgeous azure eyes. “Ever since my biological dad left, she just…changed. She likes to drink. All her money goes to that. I basically hold up everything rent wise and financially… I want to forget her tonight, please. I’ve been so scared and… and tired for so long. I feel strange and stupid for telling you this but its not like I have many friends or anyone you can tell that would ruin my life so fuck it… I really just don't wanna think about her… okay?”

The silence after my words is what motivated me to gather the courage to meet his eyes. Pursed lips and a sigh, Billy looks back at me. “Yeah. Okay, whatever you need, shortcake.”

I give a curt nod, “Thank you,” I sniffle and look at the table, “What’s all this?”

“Oh, well, I asked Max for some of her VHS tapes and she made cookies with Susan before she left this morning so… I thought… maybe, these would make you feel better? And I made her swear to keep this a secret and not tell any of her little shit friends.” His cheeks actually turn a shade of red and I let out a giggle as I sit beside him. He tosses the blanket over my head. “Don’t laugh at me, I’m trying to be nice!”

“Okay, okay!” I pick up the VHS tapes and shuffle through them. The Shining, Nightmare on Elm Street, Carrie, The Breakfast Club, The Outsiders…

“Lets watch Nightmare on Elm Street…Johnny Depp is pretty…” I giggled and bit my bottom lip.

“Wow, okay, am I not?” with a faux hurt expression, he lifted a hand to his chest and smirked.

Rolling my eyes, “That’s not what I said…”

Raising a brow, “So, you’re saying I’m pretty?”

“Yes, Billy Hargrove. You are a beautiful man.”

His smirk shifts into a soft smile, “Thank you, you’re beautiful yourself, babe.”

New nickname, adding that to my list of favorites.

“Thank you. Seriously.” I hand him the VHS to put on and lean back. I pull the blanket to cover my bruised stretch marks. “I would’ve called before coming but… y’know.”

He places a hand on my cheek. “You and I… are more alike than you think, sugar. No matter how awful you think I am… I will always care about you. I know I’m an asshole but… you kind of changed my life with all these marks and trouble. You’re… you’re my favorite type of trouble.”

It was like my insides were melting and I swallowed hard, my heartbeat speeding up. “Really?”

His thumb brushes against my cheek as he nods. “Absolutely.”

“That’s… really cheesy,” I giggle, embarrassed, “But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think it was sweet. You’re my favorite trouble, too, Billy.”

A brief moment of silence as he looked down to my lips. It was like time stopped and I swallowed my heart. “Can I kiss you, sugar?”

Briefly, my eyes widen before whispering, “Please…”

His lips touch mine instantly, they are soft but urgent. Slipping his tongue past my lips, I feel my body erupt into flames. I place my hands on his thighs and I hear him drop the VHS before he puts both hands on my cheeks. He was so warm, so soft, yet his kiss was so needy and deeply affectionate. My broken wrist remains on his thigh but my other hand moves to run my fingers into the back of his hair, gripping gently. He groans and I swear, I felt my heart stop. That's when he pulled away and I caught a glimpse of his glazed eyes and slicken lips.

“I could do that everyday, for the rest of time…” he muttered. I couldn’t tell if he was speaking to me but I didn’t care. I could hardly focus on anything but the sweltering joy growing in the very pit of my stomach.

Our moment is interrupted by a small voice clearing their throat. I drop my hand to my lap. We look over to see Max with a smirk on her face, red hair pulled into braids. “I knew you liked her, you idiot!”

“Get out!” He grumbled.

She simply laughed, unphased, “No, no. Thank you, now Dustin owes me fifteen dollars!” She runs to her room, presumably to grab that darn walky talky.

With a small smile, I raised a questioning brow and scrunched my nose. “You like me?”

Rolling his eyes, he picks up the VHS and moves to put the movie on. “No… yes. I don’t know…” He plopped back on the sofa. “C-can we just watch the movie …?” Oh, how I love to make him blush and stutter….

I giggled and intertwined my fingers with his. “If it's any consolation, I like you. I like you a lot, Billy Hargrove.”

His blue eyes brimming with adoration. He nods, enthusiastically. “Okay… yeah. I like you a whole lot….”

vi. - billy pov

Y/N went back home the next day. It had been four weeks since that night and I still haven’t kissed her again. I’ve been afraid to touch her lips again. I know she said she likes me. But I also know I’m not good enough for her. I only just started to be nicer to Max. I only just started to try. So, I went back to pushing her away.

But the night was young and I already found myself covered in bruises and blood seeped through my shirt. Although the weather was cold, there was a thin line of sweat covering my skin as I drove down the streets to the one person in the world who didn’t make me feel like shit. The one person who made me feel like I meant something. The night was filled with bloody fists, tears and screaming matches. But she was full of love, care and a gentleness that I could never get at home.

As I park out her house, I see her light is the only one on.

With a deep breath, I climb the tree in front of her window and peer into her room. She’s lying on the bed under the covers, a book in her hands. I purse my lips and knock on her window softly. Her head turns toward the window. slightly startled, her expression instantly fills with concern and that damn look she always gives me that always makes me feel warm. She pulls the covers off and instantly rushes to the window, I instantly notice something. She’s wearing my shirt.

She always looks so good in my shirts, god, she drives me crazy.

She slides the window up and I meet her eyes. “Billy, what-what are you doing here?!”

“Uh, if you let me in, I’ll explain everything…” She nods, shifting over to the side to let me in.

I climb into her room and sit on her bed, the creaking of the window shutting numbed out in my numerous chaotic thoughts. Suddenly, she’s beside me, running her fingers through my curls and placing her now healed hand on my thigh. “Talk to me, Billy. What’s wrong? I’ve never seen you cry…”

Biting my bottom lip, I briefly muster the balls to meet her eyes before looking back at her carpet. “Remember when you came to my house at two in the morning?” She nods. “Remember when I said we were alike?”

You and I… are more alike than you think, sugar.

She nods, warily.

“My dad… he punishes me. Harshly. He… he does it a lot but tonight, I guess I really got on his nerves. He blamed me for my mom leaving and kicked me out the house. I know I’ve been a piece of shit lately but with all these feelings I have for you and the shit my dad says… I can’t find it in me to put you through all my bullshit. But here I am… I don’t fucking know, I can’t stay away from you… I’m sorry. You’re… all I got, sugar.” My eyes filled with tears once again, the millionth time of the night. Her fingers reach up to wipe my tears and I lean into the warmth of her hand.

“It's not your fault.” She simply states. Not a second of hesitation, not an ounce of doubt.

“What?”

“Your mother leaving, Hargrove. That's not your fault. And as for us? We’re fine, just don’t ignore me. It’s not up to you whether I ‘deal with your shit’ and don't talk about yourself like that. You’re fucking incredible. I like you for a reason, dummy. Anyway, you're safe here. I’ll take care of you.” I look up when she stands and walks toward her door. I almost whined thinking she was leaving, but she locks the door and walks back toward me.

“Jacket and pants off, c’mon, time for bed.” I laugh, dryly, her determination to take care of me making my heart palpitate. I begin to undress, uncomfortably in my bruised state and she reaches in her bedside drawer and pulls out a first aid kit. “Lie down.”

I do as the lady says and lie flat like a starfish in the center of her bed. She sits beside me and opens the kit, beginning to treat me. I take it as an opportunity to admire her features. From her hair to her lips to my shirt on her body. She smelled wonderful. Like a dewy spring morning. Her lips looked shiny after her tongue swiped across them. She finishes and brushes a few stray strands of hair out of my face. “I really do like you, Billy. Don’t leave me in the dark like that ever again, okay?”

I nod. At this moment, as I look at her face, I realize I’d do anything she asks. “Whatever you want, babe.”

She shut the light off and slipped under the covers, I followed suit. There was a brief pause of comfortable silence. Till I got to thinking. I never felt such an intense feeling, relationship, trust, experience. She was an acid trip. She was peace. She was heaven and she was chaos. She was everything and I was set on living for my everything. It was at this moment I realized why I had felt so protective, so needy for her attention, so caring, careful and intrigued, so pliable and submissive to her every whim.

I had fallen in love.

This wasn’t good. The moment I realized it, it was like it was fighting to get out. Like it needed to get out before it grew more and broke my heart. She’d leave me, just like my mother.

But the voices, the doubt, it didn’t matter when I felt her shit beside me and her voice relaxed me like melatonin or a cup of tea in the morning. I was more of a beer and party at night but god, I could get behind this feeling. This indescribable high she had me set on. I was absolutely in love with her. I adored her. I was enamored. Max was right. It pissed me off beyond words… but holy shit, Max was absolutely right. I was head over heels and it was fucking terrifying.

“Are you okay, Billy? Do you need anything? Water? Food? Maybe clothes? I could steal some of my stepdads clothes… or you could wear some of my oversized stuff-”

“I’m good, princess. Thank you. I just… I really need to tell you something.” It was gonna come out. It had to. It had to or I was going to explode. I roll over to face her, only to find that she was already facing me. Even in the dark, I could trace her features. It was committed to memory. Imprinted in his mind. I certainly didn’t hate it. “Y/N. Don’t laugh. Okay? If you laugh, I’ll leave and sleep in my car.”

She nods. “Okay, Billy, just spit it out!”

“Fine. I-I… I love you. Like… love-love you. Like I wanna kiss you and hold you and hold your hand. I wanna… maybe… I don’t know, get married one day and live far, far away together. All by ourselves, happily alone…”

It was quiet. From what I could see in the dark, under the streak of moonlight hitting her just right, she was shocked. Her bottom lip pulled under her teeth. “I love you, too. I want all of that and more, Billy… but you can’t ignore me. Okay? Talk to me… I just wanna be there with you. For you.”

I have never smiled that big since I was kid, surfing in the waves with mom.

“Run away with me.” My voice was soft as I stared mindlessly at her lips.

“Billy…” She sounded cynical as she shook her head.

“C’mon. We both hate this town!” I place a hand on her hip.

“Think about what's here, though. Max. School. My best friend. Billy, be logical!” She was always so smart. So careful and meticulous. But I wasn’t having it. We could worry about the details and kinks later. For now. I just wanted to convince her to get away with me.

“I am! We’ll leave after graduation. I’ll save up money to get us someplace nice far away. Maybe back to Cali or we can even go to New York. I’ll go wherever, as long as it’s with you. So they can never touch us again, okay? Never again.”

Another beat of silence.

“Fuck… fine! Okay!” I celebrate with a mouthed ‘yes’ and a fist to the air, she rolls her eyes. “I hate the effect you have on me, Billy Hargrove.”

“Oh please! Get over here…” I wrap my arms around her, pulling her into me and smothering my face in her hair, taking a whiff of the scent and smiling brightly. I pull back to place my lips on hers, gently. Reveling in the feeling of her lips on mine again after far too long. “I love you so much.”

Sure, we can just be dumb teenagers with stupid plans.

“I love you more.”

But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t okay with that. Especially not when the cold wind of Hawkins kisses my skin as it brushes through the small crack in the window and I doze off, holding my love in my arms.

Never Again

the five times he saw you with bruises and the one time you saw him with bruises.

pairing: billy hargrove x thicc!reader (f)

word count 8.9k

note: reader has thick thighs and stretch marks, i'd rather jump off a bridge than write about characters with "perfect bodies" ew. also im chubby and i dont remember what it was like to be skinny. ok ms thiccums. also readers birthday is in winter shh. this is sort of an au where billy got left back a year and he still works at pool, steves at record store and billys alive. billys a little bit ooc but who cares lmao

playlist. moodboard. masterlist.

warnings!: abuse!, domestic abuse, violence, sexual assault mentioned, mention of ro*fie/date drug, assault, fighting, bullying, depression, loneliness, anxiety, a LOT of swearing/cursing, making out (?) etc... fluff, comfort, angst.

i. - yn pov

The cold wind kissed my skin as I stepped off the dingy school bus and toward Hawkins High. My backpack slung over my shoulder as I tug on my flannels sleeves and fidget with anxiety, walking through, past the other students that seemed to enjoy loitering. Another miserable day in hell. My combat boots smack the concrete as I enter the building, escaping from the chilly temperature into the stuffy halls and heading straight for my locker. I grab my notebook to place it in my backpack and put away my winter coat. Having earbuds in, I don’t hear the obnoxious smacking of gum and tapping of tacky flats coming toward me. Not till her hand pushes me toward the wall. One of my headphones was knocked out.

“I’m talking to you, new girl!” The voice was impossible to not recognize. Turning around to make eye contact and confirm my theory, I send a distasteful glare to Carol.

“And yet, I can’t seem to give a fuck.” I was never one to let popular kids knock me around. Seemingly everyone bullies and annoys me with ease, but I always defend myself. I only don’t speak when their whole purpose is to get a rise out of me.

Her expression changes from annoyed to offense and fury. “Listen, slut. Either you explain why you stole my bracelet and give it back or I will fuck you up.”

Raising a brow I looked down at my wrist where I had my grandmother's silver bracelet wrapped around and chuckled at the insane accusation. “This is my grandma’s, dumbass. I didn’t take your stupid fucking bracelet.”

“I beg to fucking differ, it’s one of a kind!” She yells, catching the attention of other passerbys in the hills. Suddenly I’m filled with rage as she raises her voice at me.

“Clearly not. I’m not dealing with this right now, it’s too early.” I go to walk away and escape the conversation when suddenly she grabs and tugs my arm. I land on the ground, hard, on my back.

“Nuh-uh, not till you give it back!” She straddles me, holding my hands down with her knees and starts throwing punches. “Give it back!”

How do I give it “back” if you’re holding me down, dumbass!

This was ridiculous. I was almost embarrassed for the girl. She actually threw punches… over a bracelet. It all happened so fast. My eye burned and my face was sore and my lip was stinging. Then someone came behind Carol and pulled her off of me. My face was warm and I took deep breaths. I could feel blood dripping out of my nose and my lip was busted. I swallow hard and taste blood on my tongue before rising to sit up. My vision was blurry but I could see a shape of what seemed to be Tommy pulling Carol away, the yelling reverberating in my ears. Behind me I feel someone place an arm on my back and under my knees, lifting me and carrying me toward the nurses office.

I try to see who lifted me but as we pass the bright lights in the halls, my eyes get irritated and I shut them quickly. The person is warm and I feel denim gently scraping my arm. I don’t need to wonder for long as I hear his voice. “Jesus, L/N. It’s not even twelve yet and you already got a beating?”

“Shut up, Hargrove.” My voice is so weak it surprises me. His name is even more bitter than the blood on my tongue.

“It’s almost a new record. Not one to be proud of. But it's something, sugar.”

Billy Hargrove and I constantly bickered. I hated him and he hated me but not enough to not want to get in my pants. We were often associated as his stupid friends frequently beat me to hell and he beat my guy friends. I envy him. Everyone absolutely adores him. I can pretend I don’t care about being liked but deep down, there's this irritating desire to be loved. But someone, anyone. The fear that if my own mother doesn’t love me, why would anyone else?

Billy was perfect. He was attractive, fit, and the Hawkins High king. He hardly even needed to try. And me? I was the nobody.

I hated him for it.

“I’d rather you left me on the floor, Billy!” When I wiggle to try and escape his arms, his grip only gets tighter.

He scoffs as he opens the nurse’s office door with his foot. “Don’t be so dramatic, shortcake.”

I’m sitting on a medical cot as I hear the clicking of the nurse’s heels rushing toward me. “Oh my- what happened, hun?”

I assumed Billy left the room as I explained I was in a fight to Nurse Jen. Why would he stay? But after the teacher cleaned my eyes and I was able to blink them open, I see him sitting there across the room, watching with crossed arms and a brooding stare as the nurse dabbed at my bruises. I raise a brow at him and he only sends a sly grin in response. When the nurse finishes up with my bruises and busted lip, she looks up at me with soft brown eyes. “Can you have someone drive you home?”

“I’ll take her home,” She and I turned to Billy as he spoke. “Still live out of town?”

I nod softly, surprised he remembered that from the party a few months ago that my best friend dragged me to. He had to drive me home and dropped me off after someone tried to roofie me. As I said, this school is hell.

The nurse nods, grabbing my hand and helping pull me up. At first, it was like it all rushed to my head, the world began to spin, blurring slightly. It cleared quickly and I stumbled slightly. Billy rushes forward to grab my arms and hold me up. Surprisingly, his expression is filled with genuine concern. “Alright, c’mon, L/N.” He lifts me up just as he did before and carries me out to the car. The nurse left me with an ice pack for my head and packet of bandaids. What the fuck do I do with this? Billy sets me down in the passenger seat of his camaro. He begins driving after a heavy sigh. Who would’ve thought I’d wake up, go to school, get my ass kicked, and then get driven home by Billy Hargrove. I giggle childishly at the thought while staring out the window. “What’re you laughing at, sugar?”

“This is… not at all what I expected from my day…” I shake my head and frown. “Billy Hargrove, the man who hates me for everything but my tits, driving me home.”

He scoffs, “Is that how you think of me? Really?”

I nod fervently, wincing as it hurt my jaw. “Absolutely.”

He’s silent. Just for a moment. “Jesus, that’s… a low point of view.”

“Well, you never really treated me with a high regard… not till this moment and that party a few weeks ago. You aren’t really that nice to me. You’re just snarky and pervy.” I continue to mumble under my breath about how everyone is always mean to me but Billy isn’t listening after what I said about him.

He stares blankly to the road before him as he drives. The radio buzzing silently and I purse my busted lips as I look over to him. His gaze is concentrated and pensive. “I’m not that shitty of a person, Y/N.”

I swallow hard. “Sure.”

“I’m not!” He seemed genuinely angry, sincerely aggravated. “I have fuckin’ morals.”

“Then quit whining and act like it.” I huff, leaning to look out the window. He grunts, choosing to keep quiet and ignore me.

The rest of the car ride is silent. One hour of complete silence, other than the light sound of Metallica playing on the radio. I dozed off but every time I’d feel my eyes close, Billy shoved me, mumbling something about “concussions.”

Pulling up to my house, I rush to get out but Billy darts to my side of the car. “What’re you doing?” I say, shocked.

“You can hardly walk, sugar. I’m helping you get inside safely.” His tone is sarcastic but intentions are pure. I would roll my eyes if they didn’t hurt so much.

I let him help walk me inside my house. My parents were at work and I’m secretly grateful for Billy driving me. My mother would’ve screamed at me for making her drive all the way back and maybe even done worse. As I sit on my mattress, I look to Billy who helped me up the stairs, through the pavement and drove me from school and finally I gathered the courage. “Billy…” He looks into my eyes after finding pain relievers in my drawer and placing them on my bedside table. His blue eyes were hypnotizing and I finally understood why all the girls fawned over him. “Thank you. You don’t understand how much you just helped me.” I give him a small, warm smile.

His gaze flips between my eyes and lips before he takes a deep breath, “Don’t thank me, sweetheart, it’s the least I can do. Lemme go get you some water. You got any snacks or pajamas I can bring you so you don’t have to get up too much?”

I nod carefully. Billy was being soft. He was gentle and kind. I guess he’s trying to show his morals like I suggested. “In the drawer, top shelf is my jammies, there's chips in the kitchen. I-I’m only allowed to eat the potato chips, though…”

He nods, not asking too much. He grabs the pajamas from my drawer, a large t-shirt that I stole from my ex, and sweatpants. He laid it on the bed and left for the water and chips. Quickly, I got dressed and tucked myself under the blankets. Billy was quick, walking into my room with a bag of chips and a glass of water. He placed it on the bedside table and I quickly took the pain relievers with a large gulp of water. He looks around my room, his eyes landing on a book, journal and pencil on the desk in the corner of my room. He grabs them and places them beside me. “Do some reading and drawing or something and get some rest in like two hours.You don’t wanna get a concussion, trust me.”

I laugh, dryly. “Thank you, Hargrove.”

“When do your parents get back?”

“Uh, depends. My dad comes back around nine and my mom… My mom varies. It could be six on a good day or midnight on a bad day.” I sigh, grasping the book before opening to where I left off.

His brows furrowed and I saw the expression on his face shift as he tried to decide whether he should ask questions or not. He chooses not. “Okay… make sure not to get into trouble? See you around, sugar.” He ruffled my hair and just like that, he left.

ii. - yn pov

I didn’t want to come to this party but my best and only friend Rachel had forced me here. Well, more so, threatened to leave me home alone with my mother. So there I stood, next to a bowl of spiked punch, as people sent judgemental glances my way. I was completely fine minding my own business, till a pretty girl with a ponytail so tight it practically pulled her hairline out. I recognized her as… Natalie? Nicole? One of those for sure… “You’re the new girl, right? The one who stole Carol's bracelet?” Her speech was slurred and she seemingly was clueless to the concept of personal space.

“I’m new but I didn’t steal Carol's bracelet. If she told you otherwise then she’s a lying, delusional bitch.” Okay, maybe it was harsh. However I couldn't find it in me to care at the moment. I wanted to go to sleep.

She snarled her red lips and with a bitter tone, “Well, that ‘b-word’ is my friend so watch what you say, freak. What are you even doing here? I didn’t know they were inviting losers?”

With a sarcastic smile, I cross my arms, “Aw! Well, duh! That's why they invited you, silly!”

She gasps before clenching her teeth, “At least I’m not a virgin with no freaking friends.”

It was so easy to piss these people off, I didn’t need to put in the effort of getting physical. But I was so very tired and restless, I wasn’t in the mood frankly. I just grabbed her pretty and oh so perfect blonde ponytail and dumped her head in the spiked punch bowl. When she pulled back, she wiped the punch out her eyes and screeched. “Whore!” Huh, so she can curse.

“But I thought I was a virgin?” I send a snarky smile to the brat. Bad idea.

She tackled me and pathetically smacked me while straddling me. It wasn't as bad as Carol, however I still had some bruises staining my skin, so it hurt. And this time, I had my hands to cover me. It wasn’t enough though as she smacked me harder and harder. The crowd just chanted “fight, fight, fight” before someone finally pulled the rabid beast off me. I sighed heavily before trudging out the door.

My thoughts race. I’d rather walk home than stay there a second later. I don’t care if my house is twenty minutes away by car and forty walking. Rachel can yell at me in the morning, I don’t care.

But just as I make it to a street corner after fifteen minutes of walking, I notice a light shining behind me. The street has been empty since I first started walking so, out of curiosity, I turned to check who it may be.

“Oh my god.” I rolled my eyes as I noticed the familiar camaro driving toward me. “Do you just have a sixth sense or something?”

“Another beating, Y/N? Jesus, that's two in under a month, what happened?” Billy leans his head out the car. The street corner was getting cold so I stuck my head in the car to sneak some warmth.

“Well, Nicole was being disrespectful so I shoved her face in a bowl of punch and she decided to assault me. Plain and simple, Hargrove. Care to give me another ride home, please? I really don’t wanna walk in heels and bruises.” I pout, slight playful flirtation in my eyes as he rolls his and tilts his head to motion me to hop in.

I giggled at the music choice. “What's funny?”

“You’re playing metallica again, it’s like fuckin’ deja vu.”

He laughs, shaking his head, “I can’t believe you can laugh when you look like you’ve been fucking run over. You get into too many fights. I’m being serious, it’s reckless and dangerous, sugar. You gotta stop.” He scolds me like a child.

I huff, sarcastically, “Okay, dad. Since when did you give a fuck what I do? Figured you couldn't care less.”

“Like I said last time, I got morals. If I see someone who doesn’t deserve a beating all bruised up, it's pretty upsetting, shortcake.”

I laugh, sarcastically. “Well, you’re surely getting better at showing it. Seriously, do you think carrying my bag for me to two classes is gonna make me think you have morals? Or saying bless you when I sneeze? That's just manners, Hargrove, I’m concerned you just started saying bless you and thank you to people. It's basic respect.”

He stops, rather aggressively, in the middle of the empty road. “Don’t you talk to me about respect like you’re my fucking father. You can't seem to avoid getting your ass kicked, what are you a child? Desperate for attention? A masochist? What? What's wrong with you that you so desperately need to get assaulted every day? Mommy not giving you enough attention at home?”

That felt like a slap across the face. Especially since my mother couldn’t care less if someone hit me. She’d fully support it. The comment made my eyes water, every word leading me closer and closer to the tears that started rolling down my rosy and bruised cheeks. His angry expressions alter to one of shock and perhaps even a flash of guilt. He opened his mouth to speak but he was speechless as I cried silently beside him. “Fuck you, Hargrove.”

He bit his pursed lip and started driving again. It was quiet for a bit till he gathered his courage to speak again. “Listen… that… that wasn't cool of me. I’m-I am… sorry. That was fucked up. I shouldn’t have said that. I just-I don’t like seeing you like this. I don’t know why. It really fucking bothers me though.”

The word sorry sounded like he choked just trying to get it out. He was so clearly not used to apologizing however I couldn’t find it in me to care. He tried. And it seemed genuine. That impressed me more than I could imagine. “Just… take me home please.”

The rest of the drive is silent till he’s pulling over in front of my house again. I catch my breath and wipe my tears as Billy hops out and walks to the passenger seat, opening the door for me. It was chivalrous and honestly surprising. I looked at him with a questioning gaze as he walked me to my door. Mentally, I celebrated being able to walk, unlike last time. “Hey, I was wondering … that shirt you wore last time? Where did you get it from? It looked familiar.”

I raise a brow at his question. “Uh, its my ex boyfriend’s. I never threw it out and he never picked it up so I just… kept it? I guess.”

He hums. “Here…” He pulls his denim jacket off and hands it to me before tugging his white shirt off and swapping that for the denim jacket. “Wear that… It’s really weird to wear your ex’s clothing. Creepy.” I can see him visibly gulp.

“Yeah?” With a lopsided grin on my face, I look down at the white t-shirt in my hands. Then I met his hypnotizing blue eyes once more. They were filled with something indescribable. Something different from the usual lust, gloom and humor that filled them. Something I didn’t quite understand yet. “You’re really confusing, Billy Hargrove.”

He laughs. It was a nice laugh too, I'll admit. Still hate him though, definitely. Definitely hate him, Mhm. “Tell me about it, Y/N L/N.” He raises both brows, looking between my eyes then my lips before walking backwards. “See ya’ round, shortcake. I gotta go find my sister, stay out of trouble, please.”

“See ya’.” There's a part of me that celebrates seeing him go, then some forbidden, sadistic, masochistic part if me cries deep down and begs him to come back mentally. “Asshole.”

iii. - third pov

Billy started acting weird.

Whenever Y/N passed him in the hall, he ignored her.

No snarky remarks or flirtatious lines. He stopped being cruel to his sister, he waited more patiently for her after school. He was using manners with teachers and other students and actually showed up for class. He was doing better in school in general and he showed up on time. She’d find him watching her when she’d look up to find who was burning a gaze into her flesh. It was always him. But when she tried to speak to him, he gave one word answers and walked away claiming he had something to do.

You’re really confusing, Billy Hargrove.

Tell me about it.

He’s playing with my feelings. Her thoughts race. Except there are no feelings, I definitely hate him. Right? So why does it hurt when he ignores me? When he passes without a word or a glance. Why did it give me butterflies when I caught him looking at me or how, not so discreetly, looked over in the morning to see if I got off the bus before going in just to know if I was around. What would he do if I wasn’t? Why did I want to know? Was it so strange to miss our dynamic? Our banter?

Nonetheless, she continued her life as usual. Weekdays were school till three, work at the arcade till six, taking the bus home, shower, sleep. Weekends were work from seven to three, taking the bus home, yoga, shower, study, sleep. She only had about one or two friends, so there wasn’t much “hanging out” squeezed in. Except there was a disruption in her schedule on this particular day. Saturday. Noon. In front of the arcade, Max is sitting beside Y/N with a deep frown on her lips.

Max came in at her usual eleven in the morning and all went smoothly till some grown man came and gave her trouble for “hogging” the machine. So, in an attempt to defend her, Y/N walked up and asked him to leave. Which resulted in a bruised cheekbone, split lip and broken wrist. Now they sit on the curb, waiting for Max’s brother to pick her up so Y/N can go to the hospital and receive treatment.

“Are you sure Billy will take me? He didn’t seem too happy last time he saw me all bruised up…”

His words imprinted in her memory, joined by those blue eyes that filled with concern. If I see someone who doesn’t deserve a beating all bruised up, it's pretty upsetting, shortcake.

“Last time?” The redhead's eyebrow quirks.

“Yeah, he gave me a ride once… twice. Whatever, just… are you sure he won't be mad?” Worry lacing her tone.

“It’ll be fine, Y/N/N,” She takes a pause, placing a hand on Y/N’s knee. “And who cares what that asshole thinks anyway?”

The older girl releases a small laugh, “Yeah, who cares…” She did. She cared too much. She didn’t know when it happened or how. She couldn’t even admit to herself that it had. But she grew fond of the blond curlyhead casanova.

“And also… I didn’t get to say thank you. No one really defends me like that… You looked really badass, at least.” Max giggles.

With a pained smile, “No problem, kiddo. I can’t believe he broke my wrist, though, that's still so crazy to me.”

“Yeah, that was crazy. Hey, your eyeliner is still intact?” The statement was more of a question as she questionably clung onto whatever she had in mind to cheer Y/N up.

The pair giggle till the familiar rumble of Billy’s camaro can be heard speeding toward the arcade. It skids to a stop and Billy comes rushing out the car toward the duo, who stood quickly. “What the fuck happened, Y/N? Didn’t I tell you to be careful?”

“Hard to remember what you said when you haven’t even acknowledged me till this moment.”

“Sweetheart, It's hard to not acknowledge such a hot chick so don’t spout such bullshit. No what the fuck is going on with your wrist?” He goes to grab her wrist but she yelps in pain and he pulls back quickly, his previously flirtatious expression filled with genuine concern.

“The dude broke it…” She had broken wrists before. He had broken legs, ribs, jaw, arms, feet, fingers. She’s had numerous broken bones, fractures, sprains. She wasn’t too panicked about the wrist. But the pain never felt nice.

His eyes flash back to hers, anger spirling her new favorite shade of blue, “Dude? A fucking guy did it? Is he still here?”

“No, he… he left.” She looks him up and down. He was wearing a red button up and she could see a peak of his chest. His cheeks flushed red in anger, and Max? She was thriving. She hasn’t felt so joyous in years. Suddenly it all made sense. Why Billy was so nice, so respectful, so much… happier?

Her.

“Okay… let’s go. I gotta get you to a hospital.”

Max sat in the back and her bright blue eyes flicked between the two sat in the front. Curious and intrigued, she hung on every second.

“Do you have an addiction to getting your ass kicked?”

“I guess so.”

More silence.

He looks at her and then back to the road. Then he takes a double take. “You look good in my shirt, by the way.”

It was then she realized she was wearing the very shirt he gave her off his back the last time they actually spoke. “Thanks.”

Max covered her mouth to disguise her smile.

Billy actually likes someone? And it's Y/N?!

“Y’know… I’m probably gonna get fired. I’m really gonna need a new job. Actually, to be honest… I pay the majority of the rent at my house… My mom… she doesn’t really…” Y/N clears her throat as she chokes a sob that threatens to leave her with teary eyes. “She doesn’t really pay rent. She works but… not for rent.” She wipes her face with her unbroken wrist. Then wiping the tears on her jeans.

Billy could feel his heart drop at the sound of her broken voice. “I’ll help you get a job. I promise. I’ll see if you can work at the pool with me or maybe I could get Harrington to let you work at the record store. I will help get you a job.”

She let out an exhale and a laugh, “Did you know the first day where you found me all bruised up in December… It was my birthday. I turned eighteen. No one said anything. Except for Max and my best friend. My own mother forgot. Or she just didn’t care.”

She was staring blankly at the road. All Billy could get out was a weak apology as he reached over to grasp her unbroken hand. Max beamed.

As they parked in front of the hospital, Y/N stepped out. “You sure you don’t want me to come with you?” Max thought her cheeks were gonna break by how wide her smile became. He’s worried, how cute.

“I’m fine, Hargrove. Now, just… I’ll see you Monday, okay? Don’t… don’t ignore me?”

“I won’t, I promise.”

“You made a lot of promises today, hope you mean 'em’.” She smiled and walked into the emergency room. Max quickly ran out of the car to switch to the front seat and buckled in with a massive grin on her face and a “I-know-your-secrets” glare in her eyes.

“Oh god, what now, Max?”

“So… In love with Y/N, are we?” She smirked, tilting her head. “No wonder you’re so nice.”

He scrunched his face in mock disgust. “What? No! She’s just- We’re just kind of… friends now, I guess. It’s platonic.”

“Really? You held her hand and Oh Y/N I’ll get you a job, I promise, I’ll protect you, My princess, where is she? I care so much about you! Oh! I love you so much-” Her mocking tone and giggling was cut short as Billy suddenly stepped on the gas suddenly. Her laughing only intensifies.

“Shut up! It’s not like that. She’s just… Okay, I never met anyone as incredible or strong and unpredictable. She is the funniest, smartest yet somehow densest person I know and I don’t know if I wanna scream or kiss her but she’s the strongest most fucking irresistable woman I know and I have to stay away from her or else I get all these… emotions… I guess, that I can’t fucking deal with, okay? But it’s just… temporary. We’re platonic!” He just sounded like a contradicting machine that wanted to convince itself of a lie.

Max grinned one last time. “Sure, Billy, sure.”

iv. - third pov

Max’s joy only lasted a week.

Billy made an effort to speak to her but everytime he grew awkward. It was unfamiliar to him. And Y/N? Max hardly recognizes her. Her wrist was covered in a white cast with blue wrapping and the bruises she received at the arcade were healing well. But she was limping. She was covering her face. She was wearing long sleeves, even though it was now March and the weather was warming. It worried Max. Poor girl didn’t know what to do. So she went to Billy. Told him her concerns.

“What do you mean limping?“

“Limping! What else does it mean?” Even in serious conversations, her sarcasm never failed. “It’s been really warm lately and she still wears that black hoodie and sweatpants. She’s hot cause she always asks for the air conditioner so I don’t know why she doesn’t just take it off unless…”

“Don’t…”His heart kicked up, “You think… you think more bruises?”

“Yeah or she did something herself….” She frowns in concern. Shaking his head, thoughts filling with the worst of the worst, he begnis marching down the halls, searching for his shortcake.

He bumps into Carol who squeaks like a mouse and stumbles. “Billy, what the fuck?”

“Have you seen Y/N?” He was frantic.

“Who-?”

“Y/N! Have you seen Y/N!” Carol was startled till an expression of realization overtook her features.

“Oh! New girl?” She shook her head, “No, I haven’t seen her today-“

“Then you’re useless. And she’s not even fucking new, she’s been in this school longer than me, Catherine.” He rolls his eyes and begins walking once again.

“It’s Carol-“

He walked completely off, effectively cutting her off and sending a simple message. You’re irrelevant.

Finally catching a glimpse of a girl in a black hoodie and sweatpants, he grips her shoulder and tugs her into the nearest supply closet. “Take off your hoodie.”

“Woah, I know you’re a horny bastard, Hargrove but at least ask me to dinner first-” She chuckles, rolling her shoulders.

“I’m not kidding, Y/N. Take off your hoodie or explain.” His expression was stern in the dimly lit closet.

Silence. It was then they noticed the closed space, they were so close that one inch forward and their noses would touch. She could explore his blue eyes and well defined facial structure, the spiral of his curls and count his freckles and he could sink in her eyes and imagine the taste of her lips. God, he can’t stop staring at her lips. But he grasped her chin and tilted her head side to side to observe a few new fade bruises, she smacked his hand. She stares at him with a blank expression. “There's just… it’s just… more bruises. Nothing serious.”

Scoffing, “From who?”

Shaking her head. This one was different. She couldn’t tell him who did this one. “Billy, I’m not comfortable talking about this right now. Okay? It's really personal and I-I just want to get through the day so I can go to sleep. Even if everyday on the bus home is like a sentence to hell…” She mumbled the last sentence, raising her able hand to brush a strand behind her ear.

“Why? What's at home?”

“Nothing… just my mom and I never really got along well. It's nothing bad, just frustrating.” His eyes had not looked at hers since the silence. His eyes have been trained to her lips. Watching her form every syllable. “You know, I got eyes you can look at, too, right?” She smirked.

“I-I am looking at your eyes, you just can’t tell 'cause it's dark.” His eyes flick to hers.

“If we’re calling my lips my eyes then sure!” She tilts her head playfully. The air in the small closet was tight and hotter and hotter by the second.

He smirked, “Well, about taking your hoodie off…” His hands tug on her collar to push her body closer to his. She scoffs and pushes him to the wall.

“In your dreams, Hargrove.” She walks out the enclosed space but Billy follows close behind.

“I’m just saying, if all this time I just had to take you to dinner, I would’ve done it long ago!” He walks side by side with her. “No, but seriously, if it's personal then that's okay. I understand, just, y’know Max told me who broke your wrist and now he has a concussion so…”

She stops abruptly and turns to him. “What?”

“I figured out it was Bryce Turner so I found him at his job and knocked him out, no big deal,” He shrugs, “He hurt you, that's not right.”

She looks at him, entirely suspicious. “What the hell changed? You see me bruised up once or twice and suddenly you care about me as a person? Suddenly you defend me? What the hell, Billy?”

He exhales, heavily, glancing around the halls. “Can we not talk about this here? It’s really not that serious, I just know how it feels to take a beating, I’ve been in a few fights myself if you can’t tell.”

Shaking her head, “No, a few months ago, you couldn’t fucking stand me. You only bared my presence to get a chance to fuck me. So, is this just a trick? This is all an act, this new you? Is it real? Or is this an elaborate plan to fuck me, Billy? Because I’m sick of everyone in my life using me.”

He opened his mouth to speak but he didn’t know how to tell her. He couldn’t tell her. He shakes his head, “I’m not trying to use you, it’s… it’s unrelated. I promise. I’m sorry I made you feel that way, though.”

Sharing blank stares, she bites her lip. “Another promise, hm?” He bows his head. “See ya’, Billy.”

She wanders off from him, off to her next class. He’s left alone in a crowded hallway, heart sunk to his stomach and a new anxiety he didn’t appreciate.

v. - yn pov

Sobbing uncontrollably on a Sunday night, walking in the rain to Billy Hargrove’s house at two in the morning was not my ideal experience. But my life never went according to plan.

The cut on my lip down my chin and bleeding nose was evidence enough, let alone the numerous fresh black and blue marks covering my cheeks and body. A solid handprint outlined in red on my wrist when she yanked me toward the front door. My tailbone still ached from when I fell ass first into the pavement. She screams demanding me to leave “her” house, even though I pay the majority of the rent.

My ribs were healing well from the last time she hit me but after her recent blows, they ached and stung. My wrist is still wrapped in a cast that shouldn’t be wet. My ankle, that she had smashed on the wooden ground when I refused to get out of bed and she dragged me off it, now had shards and fragments of glass lodged in the arch of my foot from the vase she had thrown at my foot. The wet concrete was incredulously painful against my feet which were clad in only socks. My mother doesn’t really think to give me shoes before throwing me out. She just knows she wants me out and doesn’t care what condition I’m in whilst “out.”

It was humiliating to be walking towards Billy Hargrove’s house for support, for help, for comfort. When in September he and I hated each other. Sure, he tried to seduce me but that was a joke. No one found me attractive, he was making fun of me. Right? So, why in December, on my birthday that no one ever celebrated, did he lift me in his arms and help me get medical attention? Why did he care? That's what I clung onto as I took steps closer and closer to his house. The bright hope lying in that memory. Billy Hargrove cared even a little bit.

I didn’t really have anyone else. My best friend was in Florida visiting her grandmother and all my family was in New York. All I had was Billy.

His door was intimidating, but my body shivered so aggressively and my heart thumped so heavily I realized I had no choice. With eyes filled with many tears, my vision was blurry, my throat dry, body wrenched and my heart aching… I knocked on his door. The sound hardly made it over Metallica playing faintly through the door, the only sign other than the turned on living room light that he was there.

I knock again. “Jesus, M… can’t you, at least… door?” I could hear him faintly through the door. Suddenly, it swung open and there he stood. A red button-up tucked into jeans clung to his frame well. His expression switched from anger to shock and concern.

“Y/N, what- what the fuck happened?”

“I-I’m so-so sorry, Billy… I don’t have anywhere to go, I just- I would’ve called but I can’t get in my house so I- I just walked her and I- fuck, I just need help, please!” Each word came out with a choked sob. He gently grabbed my elbow and, with a softness I couldn’t imagine ever coming from him, he pulled me in for a hug. “Billy, y-you’re gonna get wet-”

“Jesus, I don’t care. C’mon, let me take care of you. We’re lucky my parents are gone.”

***

After gently taking out the shard in my foot with a tweezer, and asking Max for her tweezer in the first place, he gave me some medical alcohol, ointments, bandages and wraps to use after a shower. He even gave me a new wrist cast, which I’d have to ask later why he has it. He left me another one of his shirts and a pair of his boxers while he let me take a shower. When I got out, he was wearing a t-shirt and boxers. There were too white mugs and chocolate chip cookies on the coffee table as well as a mountain of VHS tapes. He was wrapped in a red blanket and his foot tapped anxiously on the wooden ground. This is new… certainly not unwelcome but new.

“Uhm, thank you…”

His head snapped in my direction at the sound of my voice.

“Did you walk here?”

“Oh- uh, yeah… more so limp but yeah…”

“Jesus Christ, Y/N, what's going on? Who did this to you? I’ve never seen you cry like that, it… it hurt and I got really scared for you… are you okay?” His eyes were always so pretty to me. How the blue could tell so much about him, what he was feeling, thinking. I could see so much truth to his words, so much concern.

Sighing, I bite the bullet. Its stupid, but I really trusted Billy. “My mom has been like this since I was ten…” I train my eyes to the ground. The pattern of the wood was far less horrific than those gorgeous azure eyes. “Ever since my biological dad left, she just…changed. She likes to drink. All her money goes to that. I basically hold up everything rent wise and financially… I want to forget her tonight, please. I’ve been so scared and… and tired for so long. I feel strange and stupid for telling you this but its not like I have many friends or anyone you can tell that would ruin my life so fuck it… I really just don't wanna think about her… okay?”

The silence after my words is what motivated me to gather the courage to meet his eyes. Pursed lips and a sigh, Billy looks back at me. “Yeah. Okay, whatever you need, shortcake.”

I give a curt nod, “Thank you,” I sniffle and look at the table, “What’s all this?”

“Oh, well, I asked Max for some of her VHS tapes and she made cookies with Susan before she left this morning so… I thought… maybe, these would make you feel better? And I made her swear to keep this a secret and not tell any of her little shit friends.” His cheeks actually turn a shade of red and I let out a giggle as I sit beside him. He tosses the blanket over my head. “Don’t laugh at me, I’m trying to be nice!”

“Okay, okay!” I pick up the VHS tapes and shuffle through them. The Shining, Nightmare on Elm Street, Carrie, The Breakfast Club, The Outsiders…

“Lets watch Nightmare on Elm Street…Johnny Depp is pretty…” I giggled and bit my bottom lip.

“Wow, okay, am I not?” with a faux hurt expression, he lifted a hand to his chest and smirked.

Rolling my eyes, “That’s not what I said…”

Raising a brow, “So, you’re saying I’m pretty?”

“Yes, Billy Hargrove. You are a beautiful man.”

His smirk shifts into a soft smile, “Thank you, you’re beautiful yourself, babe.”

New nickname, adding that to my list of favorites.

“Thank you. Seriously.” I hand him the VHS to put on and lean back. I pull the blanket to cover my bruised stretch marks. “I would’ve called before coming but… y’know.”

He places a hand on my cheek. “You and I… are more alike than you think, sugar. No matter how awful you think I am… I will always care about you. I know I’m an asshole but… you kind of changed my life with all these marks and trouble. You’re… you’re my favorite type of trouble.”

It was like my insides were melting and I swallowed hard, my heartbeat speeding up. “Really?”

His thumb brushes against my cheek as he nods. “Absolutely.”

“That’s… really cheesy,” I giggle, embarrassed, “But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think it was sweet. You’re my favorite trouble, too, Billy.”

A brief moment of silence as he looked down to my lips. It was like time stopped and I swallowed my heart. “Can I kiss you, sugar?”

Briefly, my eyes widen before whispering, “Please…”

His lips touch mine instantly, they are soft but urgent. Slipping his tongue past my lips, I feel my body erupt into flames. I place my hands on his thighs and I hear him drop the VHS before he puts both hands on my cheeks. He was so warm, so soft, yet his kiss was so needy and deeply affectionate. My broken wrist remains on his thigh but my other hand moves to run my fingers into the back of his hair, gripping gently. He groans and I swear, I felt my heart stop. That's when he pulled away and I caught a glimpse of his glazed eyes and slicken lips.

“I could do that everyday, for the rest of time…” he muttered. I couldn’t tell if he was speaking to me but I didn’t care. I could hardly focus on anything but the sweltering joy growing in the very pit of my stomach.

Our moment is interrupted by a small voice clearing their throat. I drop my hand to my lap. We look over to see Max with a smirk on her face, red hair pulled into braids. “I knew you liked her, you idiot!”

“Get out!” He grumbled.

She simply laughed, unphased, “No, no. Thank you, now Dustin owes me fifteen dollars!” She runs to her room, presumably to grab that darn walky talky.

With a small smile, I raised a questioning brow and scrunched my nose. “You like me?”

Rolling his eyes, he picks up the VHS and moves to put the movie on. “No… yes. I don’t know…” He plopped back on the sofa. “C-can we just watch the movie …?” Oh, how I love to make him blush and stutter….

I giggled and intertwined my fingers with his. “If it's any consolation, I like you. I like you a lot, Billy Hargrove.”

His blue eyes brimming with adoration. He nods, enthusiastically. “Okay… yeah. I like you a whole lot….”

vi. - billy pov

Y/N went back home the next day. It had been four weeks since that night and I still haven’t kissed her again. I’ve been afraid to touch her lips again. I know she said she likes me. But I also know I’m not good enough for her. I only just started to be nicer to Max. I only just started to try. So, I went back to pushing her away.

But the night was young and I already found myself covered in bruises and blood seeped through my shirt. Although the weather was cold, there was a thin line of sweat covering my skin as I drove down the streets to the one person in the world who didn’t make me feel like shit. The one person who made me feel like I meant something. The night was filled with bloody fists, tears and screaming matches. But she was full of love, care and a gentleness that I could never get at home.

As I park out her house, I see her light is the only one on.

With a deep breath, I climb the tree in front of her window and peer into her room. She’s lying on the bed under the covers, a book in her hands. I purse my lips and knock on her window softly. Her head turns toward the window. slightly startled, her expression instantly fills with concern and that damn look she always gives me that always makes me feel warm. She pulls the covers off and instantly rushes to the window, I instantly notice something. She’s wearing my shirt.

She always looks so good in my shirts, god, she drives me crazy.

She slides the window up and I meet her eyes. “Billy, what-what are you doing here?!”

“Uh, if you let me in, I’ll explain everything…” She nods, shifting over to the side to let me in.

I climb into her room and sit on her bed, the creaking of the window shutting numbed out in my numerous chaotic thoughts. Suddenly, she’s beside me, running her fingers through my curls and placing her now healed hand on my thigh. “Talk to me, Billy. What’s wrong? I’ve never seen you cry…”

Biting my bottom lip, I briefly muster the balls to meet her eyes before looking back at her carpet. “Remember when you came to my house at two in the morning?” She nods. “Remember when I said we were alike?”

You and I… are more alike than you think, sugar.

She nods, warily.

“My dad… he punishes me. Harshly. He… he does it a lot but tonight, I guess I really got on his nerves. He blamed me for my mom leaving and kicked me out the house. I know I’ve been a piece of shit lately but with all these feelings I have for you and the shit my dad says… I can’t find it in me to put you through all my bullshit. But here I am… I don’t fucking know, I can’t stay away from you… I’m sorry. You’re… all I got, sugar.” My eyes filled with tears once again, the millionth time of the night. Her fingers reach up to wipe my tears and I lean into the warmth of her hand.

“It's not your fault.” She simply states. Not a second of hesitation, not an ounce of doubt.

“What?”

“Your mother leaving, Hargrove. That's not your fault. And as for us? We’re fine, just don’t ignore me. It’s not up to you whether I ‘deal with your shit’ and don't talk about yourself like that. You’re fucking incredible. I like you for a reason, dummy. Anyway, you're safe here. I’ll take care of you.” I look up when she stands and walks toward her door. I almost whined thinking she was leaving, but she locks the door and walks back toward me.

“Jacket and pants off, c’mon, time for bed.” I laugh, dryly, her determination to take care of me making my heart palpitate. I begin to undress, uncomfortably in my bruised state and she reaches in her bedside drawer and pulls out a first aid kit. “Lie down.”

I do as the lady says and lie flat like a starfish in the center of her bed. She sits beside me and opens the kit, beginning to treat me. I take it as an opportunity to admire her features. From her hair to her lips to my shirt on her body. She smelled wonderful. Like a dewy spring morning. Her lips looked shiny after her tongue swiped across them. She finishes and brushes a few stray strands of hair out of my face. “I really do like you, Billy. Don’t leave me in the dark like that ever again, okay?”

I nod. At this moment, as I look at her face, I realize I’d do anything she asks. “Whatever you want, babe.”

She shut the light off and slipped under the covers, I followed suit. There was a brief pause of comfortable silence. Till I got to thinking. I never felt such an intense feeling, relationship, trust, experience. She was an acid trip. She was peace. She was heaven and she was chaos. She was everything and I was set on living for my everything. It was at this moment I realized why I had felt so protective, so needy for her attention, so caring, careful and intrigued, so pliable and submissive to her every whim.

I had fallen in love.

This wasn’t good. The moment I realized it, it was like it was fighting to get out. Like it needed to get out before it grew more and broke my heart. She’d leave me, just like my mother.

But the voices, the doubt, it didn’t matter when I felt her shit beside me and her voice relaxed me like melatonin or a cup of tea in the morning. I was more of a beer and party at night but god, I could get behind this feeling. This indescribable high she had me set on. I was absolutely in love with her. I adored her. I was enamored. Max was right. It pissed me off beyond words… but holy shit, Max was absolutely right. I was head over heels and it was fucking terrifying.

“Are you okay, Billy? Do you need anything? Water? Food? Maybe clothes? I could steal some of my stepdads clothes… or you could wear some of my oversized stuff-”

“I’m good, princess. Thank you. I just… I really need to tell you something.” It was gonna come out. It had to. It had to or I was going to explode. I roll over to face her, only to find that she was already facing me. Even in the dark, I could trace her features. It was committed to memory. Imprinted in his mind. I certainly didn’t hate it. “Y/N. Don’t laugh. Okay? If you laugh, I’ll leave and sleep in my car.”

She nods. “Okay, Billy, just spit it out!”

“Fine. I-I… I love you. Like… love-love you. Like I wanna kiss you and hold you and hold your hand. I wanna… maybe… I don’t know, get married one day and live far, far away together. All by ourselves, happily alone…”

It was quiet. From what I could see in the dark, under the streak of moonlight hitting her just right, she was shocked. Her bottom lip pulled under her teeth. “I love you, too. I want all of that and more, Billy… but you can’t ignore me. Okay? Talk to me… I just wanna be there with you. For you.”

I have never smiled that big since I was kid, surfing in the waves with mom.

“Run away with me.” My voice was soft as I stared mindlessly at her lips.

“Billy…” She sounded cynical as she shook her head.

“C’mon. We both hate this town!” I place a hand on her hip.

“Think about what's here, though. Max. School. My best friend. Billy, be logical!” She was always so smart. So careful and meticulous. But I wasn’t having it. We could worry about the details and kinks later. For now. I just wanted to convince her to get away with me.

“I am! We’ll leave after graduation. I’ll save up money to get us someplace nice far away. Maybe back to Cali or we can even go to New York. I’ll go wherever, as long as it’s with you. So they can never touch us again, okay? Never again.”

Another beat of silence.

“Fuck… fine! Okay!” I celebrate with a mouthed ‘yes’ and a fist to the air, she rolls her eyes. “I hate the effect you have on me, Billy Hargrove.”

“Oh please! Get over here…” I wrap my arms around her, pulling her into me and smothering my face in her hair, taking a whiff of the scent and smiling brightly. I pull back to place my lips on hers, gently. Reveling in the feeling of her lips on mine again after far too long. “I love you so much.”

Sure, we can just be dumb teenagers with stupid plans.

“I love you more.”

But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t okay with that. Especially not when the cold wind of Hawkins kisses my skin as it brushes through the small crack in the window and I doze off, holding my love in my arms.

Never Again

the five times he saw you with bruises and the one time you saw him with bruises.

pairing: billy hargrove x thicc!reader (f)

word count 8.9k

note: reader has thick thighs and stretch marks, i'd rather jump off a bridge than write about characters with "perfect bodies" ew. also im chubby and i dont remember what it was like to be skinny. ok ms thiccums. also readers birthday is in winter shh. this is sort of an au where billy got left back a year and he still works at pool, steves at record store and billys alive. billys a little bit ooc but who cares lmao

playlist. moodboard.

warnings!: abuse!, domestic abuse, violence, sexual assault mentioned, mention of ro*fie/date drug, assault, fighting, bullying, depression, loneliness, anxiety, a LOT of swearing/cursing, making out (?) etc... fluff, comfort, angst.

i. - yn pov

The cold wind kissed my skin as I stepped off the dingy school bus and toward Hawkins High. My backpack slung over my shoulder as I tug on my flannels sleeves and fidget with anxiety, walking through, past the other students that seemed to enjoy loitering. Another miserable day in hell. My combat boots smack the concrete as I enter the building, escaping from the chilly temperature into the stuffy halls and heading straight for my locker. I grab my notebook to place it in my backpack and put away my winter coat. Having earbuds in, I don’t hear the obnoxious smacking of gum and tapping of tacky flats coming toward me. Not till her hand pushes me toward the wall. One of my headphones was knocked out.

“I’m talking to you, new girl!” The voice was impossible to not recognize. Turning around to make eye contact and confirm my theory, I send a distasteful glare to Carol.

“And yet, I can’t seem to give a fuck.” I was never one to let popular kids knock me around. Seemingly everyone bullies and annoys me with ease, but I always defend myself. I only don’t speak when their whole purpose is to get a rise out of me.

Her expression changes from annoyed to offense and fury. “Listen, slut. Either you explain why you stole my bracelet and give it back or I will fuck you up.”

Raising a brow I looked down at my wrist where I had my grandmother's silver bracelet wrapped around and chuckled at the insane accusation. “This is my grandma’s, dumbass. I didn’t take your stupid fucking bracelet.”

“I beg to fucking differ, it’s one of a kind!” She yells, catching the attention of other passerbys in the hills. Suddenly I’m filled with rage as she raises her voice at me.

“Clearly not. I’m not dealing with this right now, it’s too early.” I go to walk away and escape the conversation when suddenly she grabs and tugs my arm. I land on the ground, hard, on my back.

“Nuh-uh, not till you give it back!” She straddles me, holding my hands down with her knees and starts throwing punches. “Give it back!”

How do I give it “back” if you’re holding me down, dumbass!

This was ridiculous. I was almost embarrassed for the girl. She actually threw punches… over a bracelet. It all happened so fast. My eye burned and my face was sore and my lip was stinging. Then someone came behind Carol and pulled her off of me. My face was warm and I took deep breaths. I could feel blood dripping out of my nose and my lip was busted. I swallow hard and taste blood on my tongue before rising to sit up. My vision was blurry but I could see a shape of what seemed to be Tommy pulling Carol away, the yelling reverberating in my ears. Behind me I feel someone place an arm on my back and under my knees, lifting me and carrying me toward the nurses office.

I try to see who lifted me but as we pass the bright lights in the halls, my eyes get irritated and I shut them quickly. The person is warm and I feel denim gently scraping my arm. I don’t need to wonder for long as I hear his voice. “Jesus, L/N. It’s not even twelve yet and you already got a beating?”

“Shut up, Hargrove.” My voice is so weak it surprises me. His name is even more bitter than the blood on my tongue.

“It’s almost a new record. Not one to be proud of. But it's something, sugar.”

Billy Hargrove and I constantly bickered. I hated him and he hated me but not enough to not want to get in my pants. We were often associated as his stupid friends frequently beat me to hell and he beat my guy friends. I envy him. Everyone absolutely adores him. I can pretend I don’t care about being liked but deep down, there's this irritating desire to be loved. But someone, anyone. The fear that if my own mother doesn’t love me, why would anyone else?

Billy was perfect. He was attractive, fit, and the Hawkins High king. He hardly even needed to try. And me? I was the nobody.

I hated him for it.

“I’d rather you left me on the floor, Billy!” When I wiggle to try and escape his arms, his grip only gets tighter.

He scoffs as he opens the nurse’s office door with his foot. “Don’t be so dramatic, shortcake.”

I’m sitting on a medical cot as I hear the clicking of the nurse’s heels rushing toward me. “Oh my- what happened, hun?”

I assumed Billy left the room as I explained I was in a fight to Nurse Jen. Why would he stay? But after the teacher cleaned my eyes and I was able to blink them open, I see him sitting there across the room, watching with crossed arms and a brooding stare as the nurse dabbed at my bruises. I raise a brow at him and he only sends a sly grin in response. When the nurse finishes up with my bruises and busted lip, she looks up at me with soft brown eyes. “Can you have someone drive you home?”

“I’ll take her home,” She and I turned to Billy as he spoke. “Still live out of town?”

I nod softly, surprised he remembered that from the party a few months ago that my best friend dragged me to. He had to drive me home and dropped me off after someone tried to roofie me. As I said, this school is hell.

The nurse nods, grabbing my hand and helping pull me up. At first, it was like it all rushed to my head, the world began to spin, blurring slightly. It cleared quickly and I stumbled slightly. Billy rushes forward to grab my arms and hold me up. Surprisingly, his expression is filled with genuine concern. “Alright, c’mon, L/N.” He lifts me up just as he did before and carries me out to the car. The nurse left me with an ice pack for my head and packet of bandaids. What the fuck do I do with this? Billy sets me down in the passenger seat of his camaro. He begins driving after a heavy sigh. Who would’ve thought I’d wake up, go to school, get my ass kicked, and then get driven home by Billy Hargrove. I giggle childishly at the thought while staring out the window. “What’re you laughing at, sugar?”

“This is… not at all what I expected from my day…” I shake my head and frown. “Billy Hargrove, the man who hates me for everything but my tits, driving me home.”

He scoffs, “Is that how you think of me? Really?”

I nod fervently, wincing as it hurt my jaw. “Absolutely.”

He’s silent. Just for a moment. “Jesus, that’s… a low point of view.”

“Well, you never really treated me with a high regard… not till this moment and that party a few weeks ago. You aren’t really that nice to me. You’re just snarky and pervy.” I continue to mumble under my breath about how everyone is always mean to me but Billy isn’t listening after what I said about him.

He stares blankly to the road before him as he drives. The radio buzzing silently and I purse my busted lips as I look over to him. His gaze is concentrated and pensive. “I’m not that shitty of a person, Y/N.”

I swallow hard. “Sure.”

“I’m not!” He seemed genuinely angry, sincerely aggravated. “I have fuckin’ morals.”

“Then quit whining and act like it.” I huff, leaning to look out the window. He grunts, choosing to keep quiet and ignore me.

The rest of the car ride is silent. One hour of complete silence, other than the light sound of Metallica playing on the radio. I dozed off but every time I’d feel my eyes close, Billy shoved me, mumbling something about “concussions.”

Pulling up to my house, I rush to get out but Billy darts to my side of the car. “What’re you doing?” I say, shocked.

“You can hardly walk, sugar. I’m helping you get inside safely.” His tone is sarcastic but intentions are pure. I would roll my eyes if they didn’t hurt so much.

I let him help walk me inside my house. My parents were at work and I’m secretly grateful for Billy driving me. My mother would’ve screamed at me for making her drive all the way back and maybe even done worse. As I sit on my mattress, I look to Billy who helped me up the stairs, through the pavement and drove me from school and finally I gathered the courage. “Billy…” He looks into my eyes after finding pain relievers in my drawer and placing them on my bedside table. His blue eyes were hypnotizing and I finally understood why all the girls fawned over him. “Thank you. You don’t understand how much you just helped me.” I give him a small, warm smile.

His gaze flips between my eyes and lips before he takes a deep breath, “Don’t thank me, sweetheart, it’s the least I can do. Lemme go get you some water. You got any snacks or pajamas I can bring you so you don’t have to get up too much?”

I nod carefully. Billy was being soft. He was gentle and kind. I guess he’s trying to show his morals like I suggested. “In the drawer, top shelf is my jammies, there's chips in the kitchen. I-I’m only allowed to eat the potato chips, though…”

He nods, not asking too much. He grabs the pajamas from my drawer, a large t-shirt that I stole from my ex, and sweatpants. He laid it on the bed and left for the water and chips. Quickly, I got dressed and tucked myself under the blankets. Billy was quick, walking into my room with a bag of chips and a glass of water. He placed it on the bedside table and I quickly took the pain relievers with a large gulp of water. He looks around my room, his eyes landing on a book, journal and pencil on the desk in the corner of my room. He grabs them and places them beside me. “Do some reading and drawing or something and get some rest in like two hours.You don’t wanna get a concussion, trust me.”

I laugh, dryly. “Thank you, Hargrove.”

“When do your parents get back?”

“Uh, depends. My dad comes back around nine and my mom… My mom varies. It could be six on a good day or midnight on a bad day.” I sigh, grasping the book before opening to where I left off.

His brows furrowed and I saw the expression on his face shift as he tried to decide whether he should ask questions or not. He chooses not. “Okay… make sure not to get into trouble? See you around, sugar.” He ruffled my hair and just like that, he left.

ii. - yn pov

I didn’t want to come to this party but my best and only friend Rachel had forced me here. Well, more so, threatened to leave me home alone with my mother. So there I stood, next to a bowl of spiked punch, as people sent judgemental glances my way. I was completely fine minding my own business, till a pretty girl with a ponytail so tight it practically pulled her hairline out. I recognized her as… Natalie? Nicole? One of those for sure… “You’re the new girl, right? The one who stole Carol's bracelet?” Her speech was slurred and she seemingly was clueless to the concept of personal space.

“I’m new but I didn’t steal Carol's bracelet. If she told you otherwise then she’s a lying, delusional bitch.” Okay, maybe it was harsh. However I couldn't find it in me to care at the moment. I wanted to go to sleep.

She snarled her red lips and with a bitter tone, “Well, that ‘b-word’ is my friend so watch what you say, freak. What are you even doing here? I didn’t know they were inviting losers?”

With a sarcastic smile, I cross my arms, “Aw! Well, duh! That's why they invited you, silly!”

She gasps before clenching her teeth, “At least I’m not a virgin with no freaking friends.”

It was so easy to piss these people off, I didn’t need to put in the effort of getting physical. But I was so very tired and restless, I wasn’t in the mood frankly. I just grabbed her pretty and oh so perfect blonde ponytail and dumped her head in the spiked punch bowl. When she pulled back, she wiped the punch out her eyes and screeched. “Whore!” Huh, so she can curse.

“But I thought I was a virgin?” I send a snarky smile to the brat. Bad idea.

She tackled me and pathetically smacked me while straddling me. It wasn't as bad as Carol, however I still had some bruises staining my skin, so it hurt. And this time, I had my hands to cover me. It wasn’t enough though as she smacked me harder and harder. The crowd just chanted “fight, fight, fight” before someone finally pulled the rabid beast off me. I sighed heavily before trudging out the door.

My thoughts race. I’d rather walk home than stay there a second later. I don’t care if my house is twenty minutes away by car and forty walking. Rachel can yell at me in the morning, I don’t care.

But just as I make it to a street corner after fifteen minutes of walking, I notice a light shining behind me. The street has been empty since I first started walking so, out of curiosity, I turned to check who it may be.

“Oh my god.” I rolled my eyes as I noticed the familiar camaro driving toward me. “Do you just have a sixth sense or something?”

“Another beating, Y/N? Jesus, that's two in under a month, what happened?” Billy leans his head out the car. The street corner was getting cold so I stuck my head in the car to sneak some warmth.

“Well, Nicole was being disrespectful so I shoved her face in a bowl of punch and she decided to assault me. Plain and simple, Hargrove. Care to give me another ride home, please? I really don’t wanna walk in heels and bruises.” I pout, slight playful flirtation in my eyes as he rolls his and tilts his head to motion me to hop in.

I giggled at the music choice. “What's funny?”

“You’re playing metallica again, it’s like fuckin’ deja vu.”

He laughs, shaking his head, “I can’t believe you can laugh when you look like you’ve been fucking run over. You get into too many fights. I’m being serious, it’s reckless and dangerous, sugar. You gotta stop.” He scolds me like a child.

I huff, sarcastically, “Okay, dad. Since when did you give a fuck what I do? Figured you couldn't care less.”

“Like I said last time, I got morals. If I see someone who doesn’t deserve a beating all bruised up, it's pretty upsetting, shortcake.”

I laugh, sarcastically. “Well, you’re surely getting better at showing it. Seriously, do you think carrying my bag for me to two classes is gonna make me think you have morals? Or saying bless you when I sneeze? That's just manners, Hargrove, I’m concerned you just started saying bless you and thank you to people. It's basic respect.”

He stops, rather aggressively, in the middle of the empty road. “Don’t you talk to me about respect like you’re my fucking father. You can't seem to avoid getting your ass kicked, what are you a child? Desperate for attention? A masochist? What? What's wrong with you that you so desperately need to get assaulted every day? Mommy not giving you enough attention at home?”

That felt like a slap across the face. Especially since my mother couldn’t care less if someone hit me. She’d fully support it. The comment made my eyes water, every word leading me closer and closer to the tears that started rolling down my rosy and bruised cheeks. His angry expressions alter to one of shock and perhaps even a flash of guilt. He opened his mouth to speak but he was speechless as I cried silently beside him. “Fuck you, Hargrove.”

He bit his pursed lip and started driving again. It was quiet for a bit till he gathered his courage to speak again. “Listen… that… that wasn't cool of me. I’m-I am… sorry. That was fucked up. I shouldn’t have said that. I just-I don’t like seeing you like this. I don’t know why. It really fucking bothers me though.”

The word sorry sounded like he choked just trying to get it out. He was so clearly not used to apologizing however I couldn’t find it in me to care. He tried. And it seemed genuine. That impressed me more than I could imagine. “Just… take me home please.”

The rest of the drive is silent till he’s pulling over in front of my house again. I catch my breath and wipe my tears as Billy hops out and walks to the passenger seat, opening the door for me. It was chivalrous and honestly surprising. I looked at him with a questioning gaze as he walked me to my door. Mentally, I celebrated being able to walk, unlike last time. “Hey, I was wondering … that shirt you wore last time? Where did you get it from? It looked familiar.”

I raise a brow at his question. “Uh, its my ex boyfriend’s. I never threw it out and he never picked it up so I just… kept it? I guess.”

He hums. “Here…” He pulls his denim jacket off and hands it to me before tugging his white shirt off and swapping that for the denim jacket. “Wear that… It’s really weird to wear your ex’s clothing. Creepy.” I can see him visibly gulp.

“Yeah?” With a lopsided grin on my face, I look down at the white t-shirt in my hands. Then I met his hypnotizing blue eyes once more. They were filled with something indescribable. Something different from the usual lust, gloom and humor that filled them. Something I didn’t quite understand yet. “You’re really confusing, Billy Hargrove.”

He laughs. It was a nice laugh too, I'll admit. Still hate him though, definitely. Definitely hate him, Mhm. “Tell me about it, Y/N L/N.” He raises both brows, looking between my eyes then my lips before walking backwards. “See ya’ round, shortcake. I gotta go find my sister, stay out of trouble, please.”

“See ya’.” There's a part of me that celebrates seeing him go, then some forbidden, sadistic, masochistic part if me cries deep down and begs him to come back mentally. “Asshole.”

iii. - third pov

Billy started acting weird.

Whenever Y/N passed him in the hall, he ignored her.

No snarky remarks or flirtatious lines. He stopped being cruel to his sister, he waited more patiently for her after school. He was using manners with teachers and other students and actually showed up for class. He was doing better in school in general and he showed up on time. She’d find him watching her when she’d look up to find who was burning a gaze into her flesh. It was always him. But when she tried to speak to him, he gave one word answers and walked away claiming he had something to do.

You’re really confusing, Billy Hargrove.

Tell me about it.

He’s playing with my feelings. Her thoughts race. Except there are no feelings, I definitely hate him. Right? So why does it hurt when he ignores me? When he passes without a word or a glance. Why did it give me butterflies when I caught him looking at me or how, not so discreetly, looked over in the morning to see if I got off the bus before going in just to know if I was around. What would he do if I wasn’t? Why did I want to know? Was it so strange to miss our dynamic? Our banter?

Nonetheless, she continued her life as usual. Weekdays were school till three, work at the arcade till six, taking the bus home, shower, sleep. Weekends were work from seven to three, taking the bus home, yoga, shower, study, sleep. She only had about one or two friends, so there wasn’t much “hanging out” squeezed in. Except there was a disruption in her schedule on this particular day. Saturday. Noon. In front of the arcade, Max is sitting beside Y/N with a deep frown on her lips.

Max came in at her usual eleven in the morning and all went smoothly till some grown man came and gave her trouble for “hogging” the machine. So, in an attempt to defend her, Y/N walked up and asked him to leave. Which resulted in a bruised cheekbone, split lip and broken wrist. Now they sit on the curb, waiting for Max’s brother to pick her up so Y/N can go to the hospital and receive treatment.

“Are you sure Billy will take me? He didn’t seem too happy last time he saw me all bruised up…”

His words imprinted in her memory, joined by those blue eyes that filled with concern. If I see someone who doesn’t deserve a beating all bruised up, it's pretty upsetting, shortcake.

“Last time?” The redhead's eyebrow quirks.

“Yeah, he gave me a ride once… twice. Whatever, just… are you sure he won't be mad?” Worry lacing her tone.

“It’ll be fine, Y/N/N,” She takes a pause, placing a hand on Y/N’s knee. “And who cares what that asshole thinks anyway?”

The older girl releases a small laugh, “Yeah, who cares…” She did. She cared too much. She didn’t know when it happened or how. She couldn’t even admit to herself that it had. But she grew fond of the blond curlyhead casanova.

“And also… I didn’t get to say thank you. No one really defends me like that… You looked really badass, at least.” Max giggles.

With a pained smile, “No problem, kiddo. I can’t believe he broke my wrist, though, that's still so crazy to me.”

“Yeah, that was crazy. Hey, your eyeliner is still intact?” The statement was more of a question as she questionably clung onto whatever she had in mind to cheer Y/N up.

The pair giggle till the familiar rumble of Billy’s camaro can be heard speeding toward the arcade. It skids to a stop and Billy comes rushing out the car toward the duo, who stood quickly. “What the fuck happened, Y/N? Didn’t I tell you to be careful?”

“Hard to remember what you said when you haven’t even acknowledged me till this moment.”

“Sweetheart, It's hard to not acknowledge such a hot chick so don’t spout such bullshit. No what the fuck is going on with your wrist?” He goes to grab her wrist but she yelps in pain and he pulls back quickly, his previously flirtatious expression filled with genuine concern.

“The dude broke it…” She had broken wrists before. He had broken legs, ribs, jaw, arms, feet, fingers. She’s had numerous broken bones, fractures, sprains. She wasn’t too panicked about the wrist. But the pain never felt nice.

His eyes flash back to hers, anger spirling her new favorite shade of blue, “Dude? A fucking guy did it? Is he still here?”

“No, he… he left.” She looks him up and down. He was wearing a red button up and she could see a peak of his chest. His cheeks flushed red in anger, and Max? She was thriving. She hasn’t felt so joyous in years. Suddenly it all made sense. Why Billy was so nice, so respectful, so much… happier?

Her.

“Okay… let’s go. I gotta get you to a hospital.”

Max sat in the back and her bright blue eyes flicked between the two sat in the front. Curious and intrigued, she hung on every second.

“Do you have an addiction to getting your ass kicked?”

“I guess so.”

More silence.

He looks at her and then back to the road. Then he takes a double take. “You look good in my shirt, by the way.”

It was then she realized she was wearing the very shirt he gave her off his back the last time they actually spoke. “Thanks.”

Max covered her mouth to disguise her smile.

Billy actually likes someone? And it's Y/N?!

“Y’know… I’m probably gonna get fired. I’m really gonna need a new job. Actually, to be honest… I pay the majority of the rent at my house… My mom… she doesn’t really…” Y/N clears her throat as she chokes a sob that threatens to leave her with teary eyes. “She doesn’t really pay rent. She works but… not for rent.” She wipes her face with her unbroken wrist. Then wiping the tears on her jeans.

Billy could feel his heart drop at the sound of her broken voice. “I’ll help you get a job. I promise. I’ll see if you can work at the pool with me or maybe I could get Harrington to let you work at the record store. I will help get you a job.”

She let out an exhale and a laugh, “Did you know the first day where you found me all bruised up in December… It was my birthday. I turned eighteen. No one said anything. Except for Max and my best friend. My own mother forgot. Or she just didn’t care.”

She was staring blankly at the road. All Billy could get out was a weak apology as he reached over to grasp her unbroken hand. Max beamed.

As they parked in front of the hospital, Y/N stepped out. “You sure you don’t want me to come with you?” Max thought her cheeks were gonna break by how wide her smile became. He’s worried, how cute.

“I’m fine, Hargrove. Now, just… I’ll see you Monday, okay? Don’t… don’t ignore me?”

“I won’t, I promise.”

“You made a lot of promises today, hope you mean 'em’.” She smiled and walked into the emergency room. Max quickly ran out of the car to switch to the front seat and buckled in with a massive grin on her face and a “I-know-your-secrets” glare in her eyes.

“Oh god, what now, Max?”

“So… In love with Y/N, are we?” She smirked, tilting her head. “No wonder you’re so nice.”

He scrunched his face in mock disgust. “What? No! She’s just- We’re just kind of… friends now, I guess. It’s platonic.”

“Really? You held her hand and Oh Y/N I’ll get you a job, I promise, I’ll protect you, My princess, where is she? I care so much about you! Oh! I love you so much-” Her mocking tone and giggling was cut short as Billy suddenly stepped on the gas suddenly. Her laughing only intensifies.

“Shut up! It’s not like that. She’s just… Okay, I never met anyone as incredible or strong and unpredictable. She is the funniest, smartest yet somehow densest person I know and I don’t know if I wanna scream or kiss her but she’s the strongest most fucking irresistable woman I know and I have to stay away from her or else I get all these… emotions… I guess, that I can’t fucking deal with, okay? But it’s just… temporary. We’re platonic!” He just sounded like a contradicting machine that wanted to convince itself of a lie.

Max grinned one last time. “Sure, Billy, sure.”

iv. - third pov

Max’s joy only lasted a week.

Billy made an effort to speak to her but everytime he grew awkward. It was unfamiliar to him. And Y/N? Max hardly recognizes her. Her wrist was covered in a white cast with blue wrapping and the bruises she received at the arcade were healing well. But she was limping. She was covering her face. She was wearing long sleeves, even though it was now March and the weather was warming. It worried Max. Poor girl didn’t know what to do. So she went to Billy. Told him her concerns.

“What do you mean limping?“

“Limping! What else does it mean?” Even in serious conversations, her sarcasm never failed. “It’s been really warm lately and she still wears that black hoodie and sweatpants. She’s hot cause she always asks for the air conditioner so I don’t know why she doesn’t just take it off unless…”

“Don’t…”His heart kicked up, “You think… you think more bruises?”

“Yeah or she did something herself….” She frowns in concern. Shaking his head, thoughts filling with the worst of the worst, he begnis marching down the halls, searching for his shortcake.

He bumps into Carol who squeaks like a mouse and stumbles. “Billy, what the fuck?”

“Have you seen Y/N?” He was frantic.

“Who-?”

“Y/N! Have you seen Y/N!” Carol was startled till an expression of realization overtook her features.

“Oh! New girl?” She shook her head, “No, I haven’t seen her today-“

“Then you’re useless. And she’s not even fucking new, she’s been in this school longer than me, Catherine.” He rolls his eyes and begins walking once again.

“It’s Carol-“

He walked completely off, effectively cutting her off and sending a simple message. You’re irrelevant.

Finally catching a glimpse of a girl in a black hoodie and sweatpants, he grips her shoulder and tugs her into the nearest supply closet. “Take off your hoodie.”

“Woah, I know you’re a horny bastard, Hargrove but at least ask me to dinner first-” She chuckles, rolling her shoulders.

“I’m not kidding, Y/N. Take off your hoodie or explain.” His expression was stern in the dimly lit closet.

Silence. It was then they noticed the closed space, they were so close that one inch forward and their noses would touch. She could explore his blue eyes and well defined facial structure, the spiral of his curls and count his freckles and he could sink in her eyes and imagine the taste of her lips. God, he can’t stop staring at her lips. But he grasped her chin and tilted her head side to side to observe a few new fade bruises, she smacked his hand. She stares at him with a blank expression. “There's just… it’s just… more bruises. Nothing serious.”

Scoffing, “From who?”

Shaking her head. This one was different. She couldn’t tell him who did this one. “Billy, I’m not comfortable talking about this right now. Okay? It's really personal and I-I just want to get through the day so I can go to sleep. Even if everyday on the bus home is like a sentence to hell…” She mumbled the last sentence, raising her able hand to brush a strand behind her ear.

“Why? What's at home?”

“Nothing… just my mom and I never really got along well. It's nothing bad, just frustrating.” His eyes had not looked at hers since the silence. His eyes have been trained to her lips. Watching her form every syllable. “You know, I got eyes you can look at, too, right?” She smirked.

“I-I am looking at your eyes, you just can’t tell 'cause it's dark.” His eyes flick to hers.

“If we’re calling my lips my eyes then sure!” She tilts her head playfully. The air in the small closet was tight and hotter and hotter by the second.

He smirked, “Well, about taking your hoodie off…” His hands tug on her collar to push her body closer to his. She scoffs and pushes him to the wall.

“In your dreams, Hargrove.” She walks out the enclosed space but Billy follows close behind.

“I’m just saying, if all this time I just had to take you to dinner, I would’ve done it long ago!” He walks side by side with her. “No, but seriously, if it's personal then that's okay. I understand, just, y’know Max told me who broke your wrist and now he has a concussion so…”

She stops abruptly and turns to him. “What?”

“I figured out it was Bryce Turner so I found him at his job and knocked him out, no big deal,” He shrugs, “He hurt you, that's not right.”

She looks at him, entirely suspicious. “What the hell changed? You see me bruised up once or twice and suddenly you care about me as a person? Suddenly you defend me? What the hell, Billy?”

He exhales, heavily, glancing around the halls. “Can we not talk about this here? It’s really not that serious, I just know how it feels to take a beating, I’ve been in a few fights myself if you can’t tell.”

Shaking her head, “No, a few months ago, you couldn’t fucking stand me. You only bared my presence to get a chance to fuck me. So, is this just a trick? This is all an act, this new you? Is it real? Or is this an elaborate plan to fuck me, Billy? Because I’m sick of everyone in my life using me.”

He opened his mouth to speak but he didn’t know how to tell her. He couldn’t tell her. He shakes his head, “I’m not trying to use you, it’s… it’s unrelated. I promise. I’m sorry I made you feel that way, though.”

Sharing blank stares, she bites her lip. “Another promise, hm?” He bows his head. “See ya’, Billy.”

She wanders off from him, off to her next class. He’s left alone in a crowded hallway, heart sunk to his stomach and a new anxiety he didn’t appreciate.

v. - yn pov

Sobbing uncontrollably on a Sunday night, walking in the rain to Billy Hargrove’s house at two in the morning was not my ideal experience. But my life never went according to plan.

The cut on my lip down my chin and bleeding nose was evidence enough, let alone the numerous fresh black and blue marks covering my cheeks and body. A solid handprint outlined in red on my wrist when she yanked me toward the front door. My tailbone still ached from when I fell ass first into the pavement. She screams demanding me to leave “her” house, even though I pay the majority of the rent.

My ribs were healing well from the last time she hit me but after her recent blows, they ached and stung. My wrist is still wrapped in a cast that shouldn’t be wet. My ankle, that she had smashed on the wooden ground when I refused to get out of bed and she dragged me off it, now had shards and fragments of glass lodged in the arch of my foot from the vase she had thrown at my foot. The wet concrete was incredulously painful against my feet which were clad in only socks. My mother doesn’t really think to give me shoes before throwing me out. She just knows she wants me out and doesn’t care what condition I’m in whilst “out.”

It was humiliating to be walking towards Billy Hargrove’s house for support, for help, for comfort. When in September he and I hated each other. Sure, he tried to seduce me but that was a joke. No one found me attractive, he was making fun of me. Right? So, why in December, on my birthday that no one ever celebrated, did he lift me in his arms and help me get medical attention? Why did he care? That's what I clung onto as I took steps closer and closer to his house. The bright hope lying in that memory. Billy Hargrove cared even a little bit.

I didn’t really have anyone else. My best friend was in Florida visiting her grandmother and all my family was in New York. All I had was Billy.

His door was intimidating, but my body shivered so aggressively and my heart thumped so heavily I realized I had no choice. With eyes filled with many tears, my vision was blurry, my throat dry, body wrenched and my heart aching… I knocked on his door. The sound hardly made it over Metallica playing faintly through the door, the only sign other than the turned on living room light that he was there.

I knock again. “Jesus, M… can’t you, at least… door?” I could hear him faintly through the door. Suddenly, it swung open and there he stood. A red button-up tucked into jeans clung to his frame well. His expression switched from anger to shock and concern.

“Y/N, what- what the fuck happened?”

“I-I’m so-so sorry, Billy… I don’t have anywhere to go, I just- I would’ve called but I can’t get in my house so I- I just walked her and I- fuck, I just need help, please!” Each word came out with a choked sob. He gently grabbed my elbow and, with a softness I couldn’t imagine ever coming from him, he pulled me in for a hug. “Billy, y-you’re gonna get wet-”

“Jesus, I don’t care. C’mon, let me take care of you. We’re lucky my parents are gone.”

***

After gently taking out the shard in my foot with a tweezer, and asking Max for her tweezer in the first place, he gave me some medical alcohol, ointments, bandages and wraps to use after a shower. He even gave me a new wrist cast, which I’d have to ask later why he has it. He left me another one of his shirts and a pair of his boxers while he let me take a shower. When I got out, he was wearing a t-shirt and boxers. There were too white mugs and chocolate chip cookies on the coffee table as well as a mountain of VHS tapes. He was wrapped in a red blanket and his foot tapped anxiously on the wooden ground. This is new… certainly not unwelcome but new.

“Uhm, thank you…”

His head snapped in my direction at the sound of my voice.

“Did you walk here?”

“Oh- uh, yeah… more so limp but yeah…”

“Jesus Christ, Y/N, what's going on? Who did this to you? I’ve never seen you cry like that, it… it hurt and I got really scared for you… are you okay?” His eyes were always so pretty to me. How the blue could tell so much about him, what he was feeling, thinking. I could see so much truth to his words, so much concern.

Sighing, I bite the bullet. Its stupid, but I really trusted Billy. “My mom has been like this since I was ten…” I train my eyes to the ground. The pattern of the wood was far less horrific than those gorgeous azure eyes. “Ever since my biological dad left, she just…changed. She likes to drink. All her money goes to that. I basically hold up everything rent wise and financially… I want to forget her tonight, please. I’ve been so scared and… and tired for so long. I feel strange and stupid for telling you this but its not like I have many friends or anyone you can tell that would ruin my life so fuck it… I really just don't wanna think about her… okay?”

The silence after my words is what motivated me to gather the courage to meet his eyes. Pursed lips and a sigh, Billy looks back at me. “Yeah. Okay, whatever you need, shortcake.”

I give a curt nod, “Thank you,” I sniffle and look at the table, “What’s all this?”

“Oh, well, I asked Max for some of her VHS tapes and she made cookies with Susan before she left this morning so… I thought… maybe, these would make you feel better? And I made her swear to keep this a secret and not tell any of her little shit friends.” His cheeks actually turn a shade of red and I let out a giggle as I sit beside him. He tosses the blanket over my head. “Don’t laugh at me, I’m trying to be nice!”

“Okay, okay!” I pick up the VHS tapes and shuffle through them. The Shining, Nightmare on Elm Street, Carrie, The Breakfast Club, The Outsiders…

“Lets watch Nightmare on Elm Street…Johnny Depp is pretty…” I giggled and bit my bottom lip.

“Wow, okay, am I not?” with a faux hurt expression, he lifted a hand to his chest and smirked.

Rolling my eyes, “That’s not what I said…”

Raising a brow, “So, you’re saying I’m pretty?”

“Yes, Billy Hargrove. You are a beautiful man.”

His smirk shifts into a soft smile, “Thank you, you’re beautiful yourself, babe.”

New nickname, adding that to my list of favorites.

“Thank you. Seriously.” I hand him the VHS to put on and lean back. I pull the blanket to cover my bruised stretch marks. “I would’ve called before coming but… y’know.”

He places a hand on my cheek. “You and I… are more alike than you think, sugar. No matter how awful you think I am… I will always care about you. I know I’m an asshole but… you kind of changed my life with all these marks and trouble. You’re… you’re my favorite type of trouble.”

It was like my insides were melting and I swallowed hard, my heartbeat speeding up. “Really?”

His thumb brushes against my cheek as he nods. “Absolutely.”

“That’s… really cheesy,” I giggle, embarrassed, “But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think it was sweet. You’re my favorite trouble, too, Billy.”

A brief moment of silence as he looked down to my lips. It was like time stopped and I swallowed my heart. “Can I kiss you, sugar?”

Briefly, my eyes widen before whispering, “Please…”

His lips touch mine instantly, they are soft but urgent. Slipping his tongue past my lips, I feel my body erupt into flames. I place my hands on his thighs and I hear him drop the VHS before he puts both hands on my cheeks. He was so warm, so soft, yet his kiss was so needy and deeply affectionate. My broken wrist remains on his thigh but my other hand moves to run my fingers into the back of his hair, gripping gently. He groans and I swear, I felt my heart stop. That's when he pulled away and I caught a glimpse of his glazed eyes and slicken lips.

“I could do that everyday, for the rest of time…” he muttered. I couldn’t tell if he was speaking to me but I didn’t care. I could hardly focus on anything but the sweltering joy growing in the very pit of my stomach.

Our moment is interrupted by a small voice clearing their throat. I drop my hand to my lap. We look over to see Max with a smirk on her face, red hair pulled into braids. “I knew you liked her, you idiot!”

“Get out!” He grumbled.

She simply laughed, unphased, “No, no. Thank you, now Dustin owes me fifteen dollars!” She runs to her room, presumably to grab that darn walky talky.

With a small smile, I raised a questioning brow and scrunched my nose. “You like me?”

Rolling his eyes, he picks up the VHS and moves to put the movie on. “No… yes. I don’t know…” He plopped back on the sofa. “C-can we just watch the movie …?” Oh, how I love to make him blush and stutter….

I giggled and intertwined my fingers with his. “If it's any consolation, I like you. I like you a lot, Billy Hargrove.”

His blue eyes brimming with adoration. He nods, enthusiastically. “Okay… yeah. I like you a whole lot….”

vi. - billy pov

Y/N went back home the next day. It had been four weeks since that night and I still haven’t kissed her again. I’ve been afraid to touch her lips again. I know she said she likes me. But I also know I’m not good enough for her. I only just started to be nicer to Max. I only just started to try. So, I went back to pushing her away.

But the night was young and I already found myself covered in bruises and blood seeped through my shirt. Although the weather was cold, there was a thin line of sweat covering my skin as I drove down the streets to the one person in the world who didn’t make me feel like shit. The one person who made me feel like I meant something. The night was filled with bloody fists, tears and screaming matches. But she was full of love, care and a gentleness that I could never get at home.

As I park out her house, I see her light is the only one on.

With a deep breath, I climb the tree in front of her window and peer into her room. She’s lying on the bed under the covers, a book in her hands. I purse my lips and knock on her window softly. Her head turns toward the window. slightly startled, her expression instantly fills with concern and that damn look she always gives me that always makes me feel warm. She pulls the covers off and instantly rushes to the window, I instantly notice something. She’s wearing my shirt.

She always looks so good in my shirts, god, she drives me crazy.

She slides the window up and I meet her eyes. “Billy, what-what are you doing here?!”

“Uh, if you let me in, I’ll explain everything…” She nods, shifting over to the side to let me in.

I climb into her room and sit on her bed, the creaking of the window shutting numbed out in my numerous chaotic thoughts. Suddenly, she’s beside me, running her fingers through my curls and placing her now healed hand on my thigh. “Talk to me, Billy. What’s wrong? I’ve never seen you cry…”

Biting my bottom lip, I briefly muster the balls to meet her eyes before looking back at her carpet. “Remember when you came to my house at two in the morning?” She nods. “Remember when I said we were alike?”

You and I… are more alike than you think, sugar.

She nods, warily.

“My dad… he punishes me. Harshly. He… he does it a lot but tonight, I guess I really got on his nerves. He blamed me for my mom leaving and kicked me out the house. I know I’ve been a piece of shit lately but with all these feelings I have for you and the shit my dad says… I can’t find it in me to put you through all my bullshit. But here I am… I don’t fucking know, I can’t stay away from you… I’m sorry. You’re… all I got, sugar.” My eyes filled with tears once again, the millionth time of the night. Her fingers reach up to wipe my tears and I lean into the warmth of her hand.

“It's not your fault.” She simply states. Not a second of hesitation, not an ounce of doubt.

“What?”

“Your mother leaving, Hargrove. That's not your fault. And as for us? We’re fine, just don’t ignore me. It’s not up to you whether I ‘deal with your shit’ and don't talk about yourself like that. You’re fucking incredible. I like you for a reason, dummy. Anyway, you're safe here. I’ll take care of you.” I look up when she stands and walks toward her door. I almost whined thinking she was leaving, but she locks the door and walks back toward me.

“Jacket and pants off, c’mon, time for bed.” I laugh, dryly, her determination to take care of me making my heart palpitate. I begin to undress, uncomfortably in my bruised state and she reaches in her bedside drawer and pulls out a first aid kit. “Lie down.”

I do as the lady says and lie flat like a starfish in the center of her bed. She sits beside me and opens the kit, beginning to treat me. I take it as an opportunity to admire her features. From her hair to her lips to my shirt on her body. She smelled wonderful. Like a dewy spring morning. Her lips looked shiny after her tongue swiped across them. She finishes and brushes a few stray strands of hair out of my face. “I really do like you, Billy. Don’t leave me in the dark like that ever again, okay?”

I nod. At this moment, as I look at her face, I realize I’d do anything she asks. “Whatever you want, babe.”

She shut the light off and slipped under the covers, I followed suit. There was a brief pause of comfortable silence. Till I got to thinking. I never felt such an intense feeling, relationship, trust, experience. She was an acid trip. She was peace. She was heaven and she was chaos. She was everything and I was set on living for my everything. It was at this moment I realized why I had felt so protective, so needy for her attention, so caring, careful and intrigued, so pliable and submissive to her every whim.

I had fallen in love.

This wasn’t good. The moment I realized it, it was like it was fighting to get out. Like it needed to get out before it grew more and broke my heart. She’d leave me, just like my mother.

But the voices, the doubt, it didn’t matter when I felt her shit beside me and her voice relaxed me like melatonin or a cup of tea in the morning. I was more of a beer and party at night but god, I could get behind this feeling. This indescribable high she had me set on. I was absolutely in love with her. I adored her. I was enamored. Max was right. It pissed me off beyond words… but holy shit, Max was absolutely right. I was head over heels and it was fucking terrifying.

“Are you okay, Billy? Do you need anything? Water? Food? Maybe clothes? I could steal some of my stepdads clothes… or you could wear some of my oversized stuff-”

“I’m good, princess. Thank you. I just… I really need to tell you something.” It was gonna come out. It had to. It had to or I was going to explode. I roll over to face her, only to find that she was already facing me. Even in the dark, I could trace her features. It was committed to memory. Imprinted in his mind. I certainly didn’t hate it. “Y/N. Don’t laugh. Okay? If you laugh, I’ll leave and sleep in my car.”

She nods. “Okay, Billy, just spit it out!”

“Fine. I-I… I love you. Like… love-love you. Like I wanna kiss you and hold you and hold your hand. I wanna… maybe… I don’t know, get married one day and live far, far away together. All by ourselves, happily alone…”

It was quiet. From what I could see in the dark, under the streak of moonlight hitting her just right, she was shocked. Her bottom lip pulled under her teeth. “I love you, too. I want all of that and more, Billy… but you can’t ignore me. Okay? Talk to me… I just wanna be there with you. For you.”

I have never smiled that big since I was kid, surfing in the waves with mom.

“Run away with me.” My voice was soft as I stared mindlessly at her lips.

“Billy…” She sounded cynical as she shook her head.

“C’mon. We both hate this town!” I place a hand on her hip.

“Think about what's here, though. Max. School. My best friend. Billy, be logical!” She was always so smart. So careful and meticulous. But I wasn’t having it. We could worry about the details and kinks later. For now. I just wanted to convince her to get away with me.

“I am! We’ll leave after graduation. I’ll save up money to get us someplace nice far away. Maybe back to Cali or we can even go to New York. I’ll go wherever, as long as it’s with you. So they can never touch us again, okay? Never again.”

Another beat of silence.

“Fuck… fine! Okay!” I celebrate with a mouthed ‘yes’ and a fist to the air, she rolls her eyes. “I hate the effect you have on me, Billy Hargrove.”

“Oh please! Get over here…” I wrap my arms around her, pulling her into me and smothering my face in her hair, taking a whiff of the scent and smiling brightly. I pull back to place my lips on hers, gently. Reveling in the feeling of her lips on mine again after far too long. “I love you so much.”

Sure, we can just be dumb teenagers with stupid plans.

“I love you more.”

But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t okay with that. Especially not when the cold wind of Hawkins kisses my skin as it brushes through the small crack in the window and I doze off, holding my love in my arms.

Stranger Things Masterlist

All my works in one place! I don’t have much right now but I plan to make this list grow!

Eddie Munson

□ Sober With Me - you’re tired of how everytime you want to hangout with eddie, he’s high. especially when you want to tell him you love him.

Billy Hargrove

□ Never Be - five times Billy saw you with bruises and the one time you saw Billy with bruises.

Steve Harrington -coming soon

Robin Buckley - coming soon

Nancy Wheeler - coming soon

Max Mayfield (platonic) - coming soon

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*