Luphelia - Oakley Socorro - Tumblr Blog

He forgot the “all of the above” option

As someone who was born and still currently lives in Michigan, this is correct at an atomical level

It's now Oct 1 for me, BUT IT'S 10:06

SHUT THE FUCK UP ITS

Halloween 🎃 👻 🦇

Reblogging so I can save this for later

Get a song rec by choosing a color.

🟥🟧🟨🟩🟦🟪

Chris Evans was here.

I would hang this up in my home

You’re welcome 😘

My friend has discovered Tumblr..

Eight Rainbows! WOW Lehigh Valley, PA [960 x 960]

so done with tumblr. see u all in two minutes

Please stop trigger tagging with #epilepsy tw/cw/warning/etc.

I need every single person to understand how horrible tumblr’s tagging system is

I go into the tag for epilepsy and its all flashing lights. We can’t use our own tag because people without epilepsy fill it up with improper warnings.

Use ‘flashing’ in place of ‘epilepsy’ in your tags. You aren’t warning people of epileptics, you’re warning us of flashing lights. Please please tag properly. Epileptics say this endlessly and constantly and it’s ignored. You are risking lives by doing this.

Here’s proof of what I mean:

THIS POST IS 100% OKAY TO REBLOG, I ENCOURAGE PEOPLE WITHOUT EPILEPSY TO ESPECIALLY DO SO!

IVE MISSED THIS SERIES, OH MY LOVE HAS RETURNED

After three lonely months pass, Loki finally begins to open his mind and heart to you, while you fully realize that you may well be longing for his love. A promising banquet approaches, a chance to fully prove to Loki, Odin, and the Nine Realms that you are worthy of your position.

CHAPTER WARNING: none WORD COUNT: 2.8k

Time began to roll before you like a wheel from dawn to dawn. Three months went by in a whirl.

Your relationship with Loki thawed little by little each day. For the time being, you found yourselves at your shared best when you were in the company of others. Loki clearly enjoyed his sparring afternoons with his confidantes. Some days, he asked for you to join him, which you relished. Others, he expressed a wish to go alone. You suspected those were the days Sif was to meet them. You had yet to see her again after that first unpleasant encounter. 

However, aside from Loki’s friends, you were making few strides toward building relationships of your own. You had not yet been given any ladies’ maids of your own, so Frigga was the only other woman with whom you spoke. The chambermaids were only good for one thing: giggling and gossiping when your moon courses came upon you, indicating there was no heir. 

Being locked away in the Inner Sanctuary for the majority of your life had given you no social skills. Your loneliness had no way of resolving, and you had no idea how to go about remedying the situation.

Routine quickly became your best friend in the palace. You woke mid-morning, bathed and dressed before being served a light breakfast, then studied star charts or Frigga’s diary until two. If Loki didn’t come for you by two, it meant he either wished to meet the others without you that day, or he was holding court with Odin. 

If Loki came for you, you knew it would be a wonderful day. If he did not, you awaited Frigga’s boy to fetch you for tea and lessons instead. Either way, at dusk every night, no matter where you were, you and Loki reported for supper in the private hall. After, you and Loki nearly always managed to share a private hour or two in light conversation over hot chocolate in his library before you retired, sometimes taking another long, hot bath before crawling under the sheets to do everything again in the same order again the following day.

Loki often came to bed, but there was only ever distance between your bodies when you shared the mattress. He was always up, dressed, and out of the apartments before you awoke. 

The monotony finally broke starting one afternoon, three months after the wedding. Loki was with Odin and the Generals today, so you’d gone to Frigga’s apartments, embarrassed that you’d forgotten to read an assigned lesson on hosting diplomatic tea parties. It did not matter, for the moment you were let inside, it was evident something else was afoot. 

These days, Frigga’s chambers were quiet around this time, giving you and your mother-in-law plenty of privacy. Today, however, advisors, maids, butlers, and servants were ducking in and out, carrying samples of cloth, food, drink, and decor. Frigga sat and pursued everything as it was laid out before her. 

“Yes, the ecru silk…oh, my dear!” she stood upon seeing you. “I’m afraid I didn't have the time to tell you before, but I am otherwise occupied today. I suppose you could sit beside me and observe. After all, these duties will be your own one day! What better way to learn?”

You had many questions, but Frigga answered the most vital as you sat beside her. “A diplomatic party is arriving from Alfheim tomorrow. The Allfather has summoned them to discuss matters of Olympia. Alfheim is one of our closest allies, Y/N.” 

“Yes,” you said, nodding and hoping you would understand. 

“I am to plan the banquet and evening’s entertainment, of course,” said the Queen. “Every detail is mine to dictate.”

“Do you enjoy it?” you asked, already feeling overwhelmed. 

Frigga sighed and leaned in, as if to share a secret. “Not in the least. I’d rather be studying or practicing.”

“And this is to be my job now as well?” you asked. 

The Queen shook her head. “Not while you are still only Princess. Your only role tomorrow night will be to look beautiful, and to stay on Loki’s arm as he mingles. At the banquet, Loki will make a formal announcement and present you. The Light Elves have been promised the first outsiders’ glance at Asgard’s newest treasure, so your presence will be essential to the success of the evening.” 

“My presence is so vital, and yet I am expected to remain quiet and pretty?” you asked, still not making the right connections in your head. 

“Surely you knew that you would be all the Realms are talking of, dear girl? A mysterious Seer marrying the most eligible Prince in existence with no warning? My dear, there are ballads being written of your allegedly immense beauty and grace by bards who have never seen you!”

“Then they never heard the truth,” you said solemnly, lying back against the sofa. 

Frigga quickly laid a hand on your shoulder, bidding you back to better posture.  “They’ve heard a…well, a variant of the truth. They don’t know of your prior position in the palace, or your connection to Thor. As far as they know, Loki expedited your union to douse his sorrows.”

“I see.” 

“Sit tall, my child,” she said. “Have I not taught you that the proper carriage can fool even the most experienced king into thinking a peasant is a princess?”

By the end of the afternoon, you were dizzy with knowledge. You saw flying satin tablecloths when you closed your eyes. 

You were thankful for one thing: Frigga saw to it that the pair of you were excused from supper that evening. There was simply too much to attend to, and you were learning so much at the Queen’s side! In response, Odin had the butlers send a meal to her rooms for the two of you. You were afraid you would get sauce or crumb on the exquisite samples still littered about the floor and furniture, so you ate delicately. Still, you were absolutely thankful for the excuse to avoid being all but alone with the King.

In the Sanctuary, you had minimum fare to subsist on. Old superstition often pointed to an empty belly indicating a pure mind, ready to receive the Sight’s deepest powers. Thus, bread, greens, and dried meats were all you’d ever eaten before recently. In the months since your marriage to the Prince, the constant supply of rich foods in generous portions had led to a small increase in your weight, but that pleased the Queen. “You look healthier,” she’d said. 

Before you went back to your chamber for the evening, after all with Frigga was said, done, and selected, the Queen had you stand before her while she glanced you over as she had your first day as Princess. “You already carry yourself a bit better. I think we will be ready to start on your Sight the day after tomorrow.” 

This both excited and terrified you. You still weren’t convinced that your miserable, imperfect Sight could be improved upon. What next, would the Queen attempt to artificially increase your height? 

“Yes, Mother,” was all you could muster. After all, she was still your superior. You weren’t yet in a position to protest. 

Satisfied at last, Frigga dismissed you. Looking forward to seeing Loki in the library, you  quickened your pace through the halls you were finally beginning to find familiar. However, the minute you made it inside the suite, you knew he wasn’t there. 

A small, unrolled piece of parchment sat on the sofa side table, the scrawl in emerald ink. Reading it, you sighed sadly, understanding that it was to be another lonely night. 

Y/N- Father requires me in the war room tonight. I will send your escort to the gala at dusk tomorrow. Please be ready. Yours, Loki

War room?

Perhaps it had to do with Olympia. Loki had been rather preoccupied plotting retaliation with Odin for the assassination of Thor. It was, in large part, the reason that after three months of marriage, you were still a virgin bride. 

To his credit, Loki was trying, as were you, to close the gap of intimacy between you. Five nights prior, he’d pushed himself further with you than you’d been thus far. Your book discussions were now into the third volume of The Price of Paradise. That night, you’d impressed Loki with your insight on a certain passage, and he’d responded by putting his book aside and kneeling by your chair. 

“What is it?” you’d asked lightly, wondering what was brewing inside his head. 

“What you’ve just said about Eira’s soliloquy,” he said. “I’d never thought her use of metaphor meant more than a simple artistic choice on the part of Sir Olssen.”

Smiling broadly, you’d taken a long, dramatic sip of hot chocolate. 

Loki looked pleased. “You’re actually sort of…brilliant.” 

One word flipped your heart in circles. It was as if the first crack in the shell had been made, that he was beginning to see beyond your circumstances, that there was something there that wasn’t there before. 

Not that it mattered. He still didn’t touch your body once the lights in your bedroom were doused at night. You were beginning to feel the pricks of lust that a young woman was supposed to feel for her handsome husband. This only meant that each night that passed in stillness felt more akin to a failure. 

You began to stay awake later, looking at Loki as he slept beside you. He was so beautiful in repose. No scowls, no hesitations or ceremonial masking. When he slept, he was only himself. In the darkness, you never saw what color his skin was, nor how his face wrinkled when he was deep in dream. To you, he was a sleeping Adonis. Soon enough, you began longing for the day he finally chose to part your legs. 

Putting the scroll aside, you could only roll your eyes and distract yourself by reading in bed until your eyelids grew heavier than your heart. 

The politics had ended for the day, and the Alfheim envoys and their pages were seated and feasting in Odin’s hall. Frigga had spent the afternoon dictating your appearance and reminding you of the dance steps you’d be expected to perform with Loki. 

It was this dance that made you most apprehensive. You’d practiced in ‘princess study’ with the Queen, but it was not the same as if you were practicing with your dance partner. After your presentation, you and Loki would dance before the assembly as a way to allow Alfheim to see the alleged grace of the new Princess of Asgard. 

You got the feeling it was also an opportunity for you to humiliate yourself in front of Odin, who would no doubt use a slip up as an excuse to punish you, or worse, accuse you of further espionage. Frigga seemed to agree, although she forbade herself from saying so bluntly. “Let’s just agree that your success tonight will be of the utmost importance.”

Loki sent none other than Fandral to escort you to your ceremonial presentation the following evening, which you were grateful for. The Warriors were growing on you as a trio of big brothers. You’d never had siblings of any sort, and even if you could not share in their inside jests and jousting games, you never felt out of place among them, unless Sif happened to be nearby. 

“My Princess,” Fandral said with somewhat-exaggerated formality. “You look ravishing this evening.” 

You curtsied, playing his game. “And you dashing, My Lord.” 

As you made your way to the hall, you went over the dance steps in your head. Fandral could sense your fear. “I think, perhaps, you look ravishing enough to impress Our Prince,” he hinted with a distinct warmth to his voice. 

“What do you mean?” you asked, but he didn’t say more. The way he’d said it, it sounded as if he knew more than he was letting on. 

Your journey ended behind Odin’s throne minutes later, obscured by a gossamer curtain until the right moment. Fandral left you to join the others, still refusing to address your curiosity. 

The noise from the revelers was deafening, so when they went silent at the Allfather’s gesture, your ears felt hollow, longing for consistent sound again. You quickly began to feel small, as if you were shrinking.

“Friends and Allies of Alfheim, as promised, you will be treated to a historical presentation of a princess this evening. A fortunate young woman who proved her worth to join the Royal Family, and who won the heart of a Prince. She is a treasure to our family, and we hope that you will accept her as a friend and ally to Alfheim as well.” 

Polite clapping rang out. You felt your skin shiver. Odin was an incredible liar. 

You jumped when you felt something smooth and cool slip into your hand and wrap around your fingers. Prince Loki had joined you behind the curtain. 

“Are you ready?” he inquired softly. 

I am now, you thought, but instead of saying it aloud, you nodded. He was pleased. 

“I don’t enjoy these functions at all,” he noted. “And that is your new fact about myself for today.”

“I believe I knew that already about you,” you said with a playful cheek. 

Loki smiled. “And how, pray, did you come by this information when this is our first ball together?”

“I guessed.”

He looked down at his feet for a moment, keeping a pleasant smile. “How insightful of you. Perhaps I should worry about what else you’ve unwittingly discovered of me.”

You were bold, gently squeezing his hand. “You have no need to be afraid of me.” 

A tender gaze passed briefly between you before a servant began parting the curtains. Instantly, you both sprang to attention like the two obedient foot soldiers you were before the King. 

“I am pleased to present to the Courts of Asgard and Alfheim: Prince Loki, and his beloved bride, Princess Y/N.”

Loki guided you out from behind the shadow of Odin’s throne. Instant ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’ went up as you strutted in sync to the center of the stage. Loki raised his arm to give you a twirl, which you executed with surprising grace. Applause went up. As it turned out, the dance lessons were good for more than waltzing. 

You curtsied deeply before the room, and awaited Odin to silence the room again, so that you could deliver the small speech that you’d authored with Frigga, and memorized. 

“My dear friends, I am blessed to find myself the child of the Allfather, the wife of the Prince, and the humble Princess of this realm. I pray that you will accept me as you have my newfound family, and that our days will be spent in friendship and harmony.”

The room erupted into cheers. Many stood from their benches. You bowed again, Loki bowing with you, and permitted him to begin leading you to the dance floor in front of the lined benches and tables. 

You caught a glimpse of Frigga, seated next to Odin at the High Table, beaming with pride at her protege’s first impression thus far. You were doing well. 

After several minutes of more thunderous approval from the Light Elves, Loki swung you around, positioning you before him in the starting position for a short, classic Asgardian dance. Typically, it was a bride and groom’s first dance at their wedding. Indeed, the dance retained at least half of its purpose. This was your first dance with your husband, after all. 

Just before the music went up, Loki leaned down and whispered into your ear. “You’re doing marvelously.”

“How can you tell?” you asked. 

“Because my father’s face is red.”

You snorted a little too loudly, and instantly hoped it didn;t diminish your appearance in the eyes of the assembly. To the contrary, they seemed to think your giggle was sweet. For all they knew, you had just shared a small intimate joke between you, like a pair of silly besotted lovers who cared not for the world beyond one another’s arms. 

“I’m happy to please you, Loki,” you said, recovering. 

He kissed you sweetly, bringing out more reactions from the crowd. “My Princess…I may finally be prepared to reward you tonight after we retire.” 

“Reward me? I--” you cut off when you understood Loki’s covert meaning. Your face illuminated. “You mean it? Tonight?”

“Yes, Y/N. Tonight. It may be time to acquiesce to Odin’s wishes for a grandson.”

You wanted to cry, but that was when the orchestra, seated above the room on a balcony, struck the first notes of an ancient love song. Did this mean he was falling in love? Or was he just prepared enough to fulfill his long-neglected duty? 

You chose to ignore the uncertainties for once, and you slowly began to dance as one while the music swelled. 

Series Masterlist Tags in the comments!

The answer to all your prayers

Loki x f!Reader

Notes: CRACK FIC!!! This was so much fun to write. Enjoy!

Warnings: Smutty with no actual smut. Mentions masturbating, but there's no real description. Also, Loki has a megapenis (we've all seen that gif, y'know what I'm talking about).

You were fresh out of college when you landed a job working as an apprentice technician for Stark industries. You were exceptional at physics and aerodynamics, so ended up working on the newest designs for an iron man suit Tony was working on. Due to your position, you had ended up becoming quite chummy with the avengers.

Pepper had recently been trying to set you up after hearing about your tragic love life. The truth of it was, you had been on a spree of first dates in college, but they had all been so disastrous you had sworn off dating until you were a little older and had enough time to actually go on dates properly. This, however, had left you a little inexperienced around… sex. You had been wanting to lose your V card for a while now, but knew that if anyone was going to take you to heaven and back, you wanted it to be someone you trusted. You weren’t up for playing hide the sausage with just anyone.

Enter Loki. A handsome devil (literally), hung like a horse (literally) with magic fingers (also literally). Loki may not have been worthy, but he certainly had a hammer and he knew how to swing it. He also had Ye Olde Viking charm, quick wit, and happened to be a fairly good friend of yours. The two of you had a habit of getting flirty, then backing off and letting nothing ever come of it. You'd been safely sat in the friendzone for quite a while.

Which was how you found yourself here- lying in your birthday suit, in your apartment in stark tower, dreaming about a certain tall dark and handsome norse god. You could imagine it all perfectly. How he’d slowly crawl over, kissing your lips, prising them open to invade your mouth with his tongue. He'd slowly work his way south, kissing your neck, collarbones, chest, then further south, until he reached your dripping-

DING DONG

Who the fuck is ringing your doorbell at this time of night? And why did it have to be just as you were mid wank?

DING DONG

You stumbled around in the dark, pulling your PJs back on, ready to give Tony a bollocking for knocking on your front door at twenty to midnight. You're hoping this will be a quick conversation so you get right back to the dirty fantasies about your coworker who had done nothing but make you More infatuated since you met him.

You open the door, and are met with…

“Loki!?”

He was looking incredibly dapper in that black suit, which you immediately dreamed about ripping to shreds in a state of feral horniness. If anyone could look like sex incarnate wrapped up in a gorgeous designer suit, it was him.

“Loki! What- er, what are you doing here?”

He smiles “I heard you.”

“What?”

He shakes his head slightly. “May I come in?”

“Yeah, sure. Sorry the place is a mess, I wasn’t expecting company, otherwise I would’ve made a-”

He cuts you off mid-sentence, pressing his lips to yours. You immediately kiss him back with all the fervour you can muster, until reality comes crashing down on you and you push him back. He keeps you close to him, refusing to let you out of his embrace even if he has stopped kissing you. When you finally get your breath back (you appeared to have been too busy sucking his tongue to breathe) you look him dead in the eye and ask

“What the fuck was that!?”

He smiles again. “I heard your prayer.”

“My… prayer?”

“Oh yes, angel,” he says. “You’ve been praying to me for weeks. It's like I'm in your thoughts all the time. It's been hard to concentrate in those dull meetings when all I can hear is your delicious fantasies in my head. And every night my darling- you really are obsessed, aren’t you?”

You are mortified. “Loki, I'm so sorry, I didn’t realise I was doing that. Really, I don’t know what I was thinking-”

“Shh love. There's no need to apologise. I find it all quite amusing. You are rather adventurous with your fantasies. But there’s one that you keep thinking about, isn’t there angel?” He waits for you to nod before continuing. “The one where I claim you. Where I am the first to have you. Where I make you mine.”

He pulls you tight against him, and bends down as if to kiss you. However, you are slightly distracted by the HUGE boner poking you in the thigh. You pull away slightly and glance down. There was a fucking great tent in Loki’s trousers. By Christ, how had you never noticed he was that big before? “Hold it Lokes. I don’t think mini mischief is gonna fit.”

He looks down at you, confused. “I beg your pardon?”

“Look, I’d love to be fucked into next Tuesday, but you’re putting the long in schlong, and I kinda need to be able to walk tomorrow.”

His eyebrows have risen to halfway up his forehead now. “Is it normal for humans to speak in riddles before intercourse?”

“All I’m saying is your bellend is going to end me. You can’t go cave diving if you don’t fit in the cave.”

He rolls his eyes, and covers your mouth with his hand. “Darling, I have no idea what your saying. Yes or no, do you want to have sex with me?”

“Well, yes, but-”

You can’t finish your sentence because Loki has thrown you over his shoulder (giving you a spectacular view of his arse) and marches the two of you to the bedroom, setting you gently on the bed.

“Now my dear, I believe as a benevolent god, I am obligated to make all your prayers come true.”

“Loki?”

“Yes love?”

“You didn’t see all my prayers, did you?”

He looks down at you with a wolfish grin.

You are so fucked (literally).

The gif from earlier btw:

vaginal hygiene & health - an introductory crash course

pass this on to spread knowledge whether you have one or not, #save-a-coochie

- the vagina is the tubular ‘internal’ sex organ that some people have. - the ‘vulva’ is the set of external sex organs that people with vaginas have. it includes (but not only):

pubic mound 

labia minora and majora (inner/outer ‘lips’)

clitoris and clitoral hood 

vulval vestibule (found in between your labia minora)

urethra (where you urinate from)

vaginal opening

-vaginas naturally contain a balance of different bacterias. this bacteria protects the vagina from external bacteria and fungus, provides natural disinfectants and maintains a healthy vaginal pH of 3.5-4.5.

-vaginal pH varies from person to person, day to day, depending on your cycle, your diet and many other external factors,

-all vaginas have a scent. all of them. no two people smell exactly the same, and you shouldn’t expect your vagina (or anyone else’s) to smell fruity or floral.

- if your worried about your scent, you can place perfume or an fragrance oil to an area around your vulva but not on it. some places like between your thighs or on your lower stomach, for example,

-your body secretes natural fluids called discharge. discharge is how your vagina self cleanses. it is completely normal and vital to healthy vaginal function.

-discharge can vary in amount, color, texture and scent depending on your cycle. each person is different. if your discharge is unusual or abnormal to you and your unique body, visit a doctor if possible.

-abnormal discharge can be green, grey, very yellow, smelly, itchy, chunky, etc.

-abundant discharge can be annoying. you can remove excess discharge in your shower by inserting one clean finger into your vagina, moving it from one side to another and ‘scooping’ the discharge out. repeat as needed. this reduces the amount of discharge found on your panties and in turn, reduces vaginal scent.

- dead skin cells and oil can build up between your clitoris and your clitoral hood, so it’s important to lift your hood up and rinse thoroughly so it doesn’t harden. 

-washing your “external” vulvar areas such as your public mound and outer lips is okay, though some may find skin here more sensitive.

-don’t douche. you may think it helps but it only masks any problems while causing more. douching throws of your flora, alters your PH and forces bacteria into your cervix.

-water and a soft, clean wash cloth is all you need to clean your vulvar areas that contain a mucous membrane. you do not need to wash these areas. applying soaps or cleaners to these areas removes of natural necessary lubricants and bacteria. this may cause irritation, inflammation, major discomfort and dryness. some amount of moistness should always be present.

-a vast majority of vaginal washes, even those touted as hypoallergenic, still contain dyes and fragrances which are known irritants. read the label.

-while Summer’s eve is a lesser of evils with a PH of 3.0 - 3.5 (still not quite correct), it is still a cleanser. vaginal washes are used to cleanse “bad” bacteria from your vulva. they also wash away the “good” bacteria needed to maintain a healthy balance.

-castile soaps (like Dr. Bronner’s) has a pH of about 8.9. these are not suggested.

-never insert any cleansing agents into your vagina.

-the information above applies to any gels, deodorants, perfumed products and wipes, too. these can all disturb your natural balance.

-while they still pose a possible risk of irritation, unscented baby wipes are the lesser of evils regarding “freshening up”.

-pay attention to your irritants and triggers. different people, different reactions

-everyone has different stances and different methods that work for them. if you aren’t experiencing vaginal discomfort or odd changes, you don’t have to discontinue certain product use. i do, however, recommend a trial period of leaving these products alone due to their effects on your vagina.

-allow your vagina to breathe. keep too-tight clothing to a minimum. cotton panties are the best option next to not wearing any at all.

-rotate the washcloth and towels you use to clean and dry your vagina.

-urinating after masturbation or sex reduces the amount of bacteria in your urethra.

-wiping ‘front to back’ keeps rectal bacterial away from your vagina.

-naturally, food alters your vagina. balancing your diet in general and including things like pineapples, strawberries, yogurt, soy (the list goes on!) can influence your pH.

-beverages like water, cranberry juice and pineapple juice are also proven to improve vaginal health, and may even improve taste.

-adding a probiotic supplement can increase the amount of “good” bacteria called lactobacillus-your vagina.

-the less ideal your vaginal balance/pH is, the more vulnerable you are to infections and STDs.

-when it comes to internet home remedies, your mileage my vary. try everything with caution and research thoroughly.

cheers! your vagina will thank you.

TRUNCATED DECACHORON

SPREAD THIS ALL OVER TUMBLR FOR NO REASON

Throwback to when I took painkillers and woke up with Photoshop open on my computer to this image I had made

Again not my edit

Mmmm (not my edit)

Why did my phone autocorrect Jesus Christ to Jessica Chevy? Is my phone mad at me? My phone is probably religious, my fault

My bf is so done with me

OML

Michigan storms 📍📍📍🌩️🌩️⛈️⛈️