Reblogging From My Shadow-reader Days

♡ reblogging from my shadow-reader days ♡

other than the palpable tension, the moment that stuck with me was the vacuum situation😂😂😂

watermelon sugar- mark lee

info: mark x reader, enemies to lovers, road trip au

wc: 11.4k

warnings: cursing + mentions of alcohol consumption

Jaehyun’s invitation to his beach house was a kind one, offering your entire friend group a week-long stay at his- or his parent’s, beach house, a luxurious, large beachfront property that also happened to be 20 hours away, practically across the country.

A two night and almost three day road trip trapped in a small car with four other people was not your ideal way to travel or vacation but as Donghyuck had put it, “flights are expensive and Johnny’s car.. well it’s a car.”

You’re not totally sure how enjoyable the road trip will be but you do think that the final destination of the beach will definitely be worth it.

A week after Jaehyun’s invitation, after agreeing to switch out drivers, mapping out a route, and scoping out motels, you were finally gathered in Johnny’s garage, preparing to make the long drive.

You help load his sedan that fit everyone except Jaehyun- who was already at the beach house, as Donghyuck leans against the trunk and Johnny rustles around in the front seat before rushing back inside to grab something else, coming back out in a few seconds with a large cooler in his arms as you and Donghyuck part to make room.

“Mark is coming,” Donghyuck says casually with a raised brow and a smirk, watching your reaction as Johnny laughs, “She’s already been warned,” he adds with his typical, knowing smile. You control your expression, hating the way they both look at you waiting for your reaction- which doesn’t come. Of course you already knew Mark was coming, you had already prepared yourself accordingly for the added nuisance on the long drive.

“Mark’s fine,” you shrug, “I like Mark.”

Donghyuck scoffs before grabbing his suitcase and shoving it next to the cooler before taking your bag that you hand to him. He turns to you with obvious disbelief. “Ever since I met you, you have very openly not liked Mark.”

You don’t say anything in response, not bothering to argue with something that was true- but it’s not like Mark likes you either. It was a mutual dislike that you personally found completely justified.

Keep reading

ELEVEN A.M, wen junhui

♡⸝⸝ Jun is a little insane and a little unstoppable when it comes to you. Even if it's eleven in the morning and all the windows are open in your kitchen. Especially when it's eleven in the morning and all the windows are open in your kitchen.

MDNI // 18+

.ᐟ nsfw. fluff. established relationship. jun being the hottest boyfriend.

a/n: jun is the silly little gorgeous hot boyfriend that we all need. please leave some feedback and tysm for reading <3

You're putting away the guest plates you took out yesterday back in the pantry when Junhui saunter his way into the kitchen. You briefly turn around and send him a smile as he hops onto the counter, a mischievous glint in his eye and a big grin on his face that makes him look younger than he is.

Without paying attention to the boy behind you, you continue to indulge in the task, now moving on to the glasses lined up on the kitchen counter. You can feel Junhui's eyes watching you pace as he sits, hands folded in his lap and legs kicking back and forth.

He really looks like a little kid, you muse in your head, waiting for his mom to be done with chores to be picked up and coddled for the rest of the day. Watching Jun sit in silence with his giddy eyes following you, you can't help the urge to sneak a fleeting kiss on his cheek when you pass by him on your way to the cupboard on the far corner.

"Hi pretty" You wink at him, flailing at the way his lips immediately pull into a smile that lights up his whole face. "What are you up to?"

Without waiting for an answer, you turn away with the two glasses clutched in your hand, hoping to continue with your chore. But of course, Jun has other plans of his own.

Jun is fast and sharp with his movement, hands snapping into action like lightning. Without letting you walk away, he quickly reaches your waist to pull you back against the counter to stand right between his legs.

"Woah, baby" You try to stay upright on your feet, simultaneously trying not to drop or slam the glasses down on the granite. His sudden movement knocks the wind out of you as you take a movement to steady your frame.

"Jun, be careful" You scold softly, trying to turn away but as expected, Jun's hands around you tighten to keep you in place pressed up against him.

Jun is quick to pry the two glasses out of your hands, carefully leaning away and reaching to put them on the other side of the counter. You watch with amused eyes as he turns back to you with a familiar look in his hooded eyes. His ankles sneakily cross behind your back, heels knocking to the back of your thighs and pushing you against the edge of the counter. And in record time, Jun's hands are gripping the sides of your shirt.

"Jun,"

His mouth is hot when he pulls you into a kiss, not even waiting for you to be done with your words. Jun's hands slither up to hold the sides of your neck as he presses his lips on yours in a searing kiss, lips harsh against yours. Your hands, almost out of pure instinct, come up to the back of his head - one stopping at his nape and one reaching to tangle through the soft strands of his hair.

"Baby...been wanting you" He whispers into your lips, not quite pulling away enough to stop them from brushing against yours. "So bad, yn. So bad"

Without wasting a second or even waiting for a reply, his thumb is lightly pressing down on your lower lip in a silent plea.

When you tilt your head to the side and part your lips, it's a field day for him. Jun's hands tighten around your torso, crumpling up the t-shirt in his fingertips while he sucks at your mouth. His lips are folding around your own in a familiar hug, teeth grazing the delicate skin, and unapologetically biting down.

You hiss at the sharpness but Jun doesn't back away. He keeps kissing you, fingers holding you by the back of your nape as he lets his breath out in feathery sighs. Your hands fall to his thighs bracketing your frame, clenching against his skin. You move your hands back and forth, fingertips grazing his skin from where his ridiculously short shorts have ridden up. Jun's breath hitches as you give an experimental tug, pulling him against you, and making his hand shoot up towards your hair.

He gives a meaningful pull at it, making your head tilt backwards with a sharp intake of breath.

"Baby, please?" Jun is almost whining in your ear, an edge of clear desperation dripping from his voice. It's a tactic of his to coax you into his shenanigans all the time, helplessly whining and groaning in your ear until he's got what he wants. After all, he knows you can never say no to him when he peers at you through his eyelashes with just the right amount of fuck-me eyes and mouth set in a cute pout.

"Fuck, Jun. Right now?" You mutter hastily, feeling conflicted over the fact that it's eleven a.m, definitely not a good time to fuck in the kitchen with all the windows open, and the fact that he's looking at you with the most sultry eyes ever, almost drooling already.

"Please, sweetheart. Let me make you cum. Please?"

And of course, how could you ever turn him down a breathtaking man with brown eyes who's looking at you like you hung the stars for him, begging, whining to let him give you an orgasm? (And a really fucking good one at that)

"Fuck, Junnie. Okay," You groan, not surprised at yourself for losing a game you weren't even trying to win "Fine, baby. Go on"

Like a switch is flipped somewhere in his brain, Jun is pulling you back into him with a sense of urgency, one hand buried in your hair and one inching under your t-shirt. His mouth latches onto the side of your neck, mouthing at the spot just under your ear which he knows has an effect on you.

"You look so pretty" You try not to melt at the way he moans without even being touched "So pretty, my baby. Wanted you since the morning"

When Jun pulls back, mouth parted and hair dishevelled, an involuntary whine leaves your mouth. There are rays of sunlight that filter through your kitchen drapes and fall on him, making him look like a dream right there in front of you.

Jun hops off the counter before he slips behind you, skillfully trapping you against his frame and the granite as he plasters himself onto your back. His mouth is immediately on your shoulder, hands coming up to caress the skin of your arms as he nibbles on your skin. You try not to shudder and fail when he softly drags his fingertips along your arms.

You register the feeling of Jun's right hand skimming down your front as the other inches past the material of your t-shirt. His fingertips are cold against your skin, making you sigh and drop your head forward at the contact. Jun's mouth skillfully works at your skin, cat-like teeth sinking into you a little too hard and making your fingers curl against the counter.

You try not to cry about how he works a little slower than you prefer, taking forever to hook his fingers to the band of your shorts. His mouth is hot and languid on your neck, pressing feverish kisses, kitten-licking every patch of skin available at an agonizing pace.

For someone who was almost tearing up out of neediness, he seems to be taking a god-awful time with his actions.

"Jun, please- just, hurry up. Hurry up, Please." You have no time to be embarrassed about how pathetic you sound.

When Jun grinds into you from behind, it has you doubling over the counter, eyes clenching in bliss. It's almost scary how a single press of his hips against yours has your mouth dropping and knees buckling under you. You can clearly feel the way he's straining against his shorts, slotting himself against your back like he was made to fit into your frame.

You have never been loud during sex - Jun prides himself in being the vocal one out of the two of you. But when he's taking a little too much time sparing no attention to where you need him the most, you can't help but let a low whine slip past your lips.

"I'm sorry, baby" He mumbled with his lips shaped to a pout. "'M sorry, I got you. I got you, sweetheart"

And get you, he did.

Once Jun's hand slips past the band of your shorts, he lets it rest against your pelvic bone much to your frustration. His other hand is reaching up to hold you by your jaw as he turns your head to plant his lips on yours. The kiss is hot - open-mouthed, messy with teeth clanking together and lips glistening in spit.

And when Jun finally lets his middle finger dip between your folds under your underwear, you keen. He sighs and lets his hips grind into yours as he runs his finger along your slit, slick with your arousal.

"So wet for me" Jun's clearly the better dirty talker out of you. "You're so good to me. It drives me insane, baby. Insane."

You shudder as he continues to move his finger back and forth, blatantly ignoring your entrance and your bundle of nerves that tells you he isn't done being a menace for the day. In a fleeting moment, the pad of his middle finger is dipping inside, ripping a heavy sigh out of you. Jun's other hand tightens around you instinctively as you lean forward, holding you tight to his front.

"Wanna take my time with you" He mumbles in your ear, his fingers gone and returning to moving against your folds as quick as they came.

"Jun, don't-"

"Don't what, angel?" You can almost see the goddamn smirk painted on his lips. Maybe his eyebrows are even pulled up in mockery. This fucker. "Don't touch you? I don't think you want that"

"No, no, no. God," You whine out of frustration "Jun, no. Just- fuck"

Your thoughts come to a screeching halt as Jun dips his finger inside your entrance, this time reaching up to his knuckle in one stroke. He holds you flush against his chest, trying to keep your frame upright as your fingers clench on the edge of the granite.

His finger stills inside of you before he pulls out a little, immediately pushing it back inside, making you tremble.

"Such a good girl for me, aren't you sweetheart?" He sighs. "Always so good"

Another digit prods at your entrance, slipping right beside the first one as Jun pushes them in. The drag of his callused fingers against your walls is guttural, making your head fill with a sensation of pure static and nothing else. His fingers keep pushing into you in a rhythm, two at a time before he's crooking them at an angle, trying to find the spot that would make you wither against him. And when he finally does, he lets his fingers grind into the soft spot without a second thought, making a literal course of electricity run through your body.

"Fuck" Your voice breaks on a swear as Jun holds you up from face planting into the counter, arm tight around you and hips caging yours. He doesn't slow down his pace than it already is, continuing to make you flail in his hold.

"Feel good?" You try your best to muster up a nod as he mutters hotly in your ear.

The more Jun continues to plunge his fingers into you, the louder the sounds that echo through the room. With every push of his fingers against your walls, there's a pornographic sound of squelching. Something that had always turned you on was just the pure noises that came with sex- whether it's Jun muttering the filthiest words known to man in your ear like it was second nature, the sound of wetness as he works on opening you up or the sound of skin against skin as he feverishly pushed his hips into yours - it had always given you a rush of arousal more than anything. And Jun was no stranger to your little liking. So you guess he knows exactly what he's doing when he continues to whisper in your ear.

"You hear that, baby? That's how much you wanted me, no?" He muses. "Is that it?"

You struggle in his hold, twisting and turning as if you want to get away when actually you want nothing more than to curl up into him a little more. After dragging his fingers against your walls for the nth time, Jun slows down as he presses his lips to your cheek.

"Hold yourself up for me, sweet" He mumbles, followed by a soft press of lips to your temple "Hold tight. I'm gonna let go, okay?"

And as soon as he's deemed you're not going to topple over into the granite, holding yourself up against it with steady hands instead, his other arm immediately slips away and into your shorts. And,

"O-oh my god, Jun-"

You almost whimper at the feel of cold fingertips against your clit, in contrast to your skin that is burning with want, want, want. And Jun, being the menace he is, circles his fingers at an upsetting slow pace. If there was anything that brought you closer to an orgasm than Jun's fingers, it was Jun's fingers on your clit and this was a very well known fact to him.

You let your mouth drop, a shuddering moan slipping past your lips. The rare sound of you voicing your pleasure only seems to only fuel Jun more, speeding up his fingers and frantically letting his fingertips rub against your skin.

"There we go, angel. There we go" He sighs in your ear, words slurred. "My perfect girl"

The sound of your arousal is louder as Jun works both of his hands. One hand knuckles deep in you and the other rubbing against your clit at a perfect speed. He pants in your ear, hips unapologetically pushing against your back from behind as if he's physically unable to contain himself. Your arms give you underneath you and you catch yourself with your forearms on your counter as you feel yourself nearing the edge.

"Are you close, baby? I've got you, okay? Let me know"

You cry out at the pleasure that's shooting up your body, dropping your head forward. Your hair is sticking to your damp neck, wet from where there's a sheen of sweat on your skin.

You hear him groan behind you, trying to keep up with thrusting his fingers inside of you with an even louder sound of arousal as your walls tighten around his fingers. The noises around you - his fingers inside you, the deep sighs that fall from your mouth, and the way Jun cries into your neck - are lewd, downright filth. And god it's so hot.

"You're close, aren't you?" He pants. "Give it to me, baby. I've got you. I love you, sweetheart. I love you"

You feel the familiar pool of bliss settle deep in your gut, burning and itching to be released as Jun continues to work on you. Your eyes are closed and your mouth drops in a silent cry from all the stimulation but you hold yourself back a little more, wanting to linger on the edge a little bit more.

But of course, your boyfriend is hellbent on bringing you to the brink of pleasure with the hopes of tipping you over. The need to tease you and dangle your orgasm over your head is long gone. So when he grounds his fingers into you and circles your clit for a last time, you let your toes curl and clamp down on his fingers.

"Jun, Jun, Jun" You cry out, hand coming to hold his forearm against your front. "Fuck, oh, f-fuck-"

Jun doesn't stop as your release washes over you, pressing even closer to you as you ride out your orgasm. You throw your head back, curling against him as he presses his lips to your temple. He continues to move, opting to fuck your orgasm out of you and keeping his fingers on you until you have to physically pry him away.

Even as you come down from your high, he doesn't let you go. Crowding you against the counter, he brings up a hand to turn his head towards you. Holding your jaw tight, he presses his lips into yours before you can even take a breath that's slipping from you. He pulls away with hooded eyes, ragged breathing matching yours and voice coming out in a low rasp as he suggests,

"Let's move to the couch?"

i think about this every now and then, when i see other street racer fics 😩 the palpable tension is insanely good 🙌🏼

slide thru - l.hc | ridin’ club

━ welcome to the ridin’ club smut series

genre ➠ slow burn, ya dis one actually has some plot, smut, fluff? wordcount ➠ 9.3k details ➠  fem!reader, streetracer!haechan, badboy!haechan, college!au ━ where you and haechan are best friends with very heavy sexual tension. warnings ➠ explicit language, flirty banter, name calling, hickeys, bratty af, hair pulling, oral (deep throat), brief moment of public sex, a lot of teasing, possessiveness, switch!haechan, slight degradation kink, spanking synopsis ➠ Lee Donghyuck, goes by Lee Haechan, is your literal ride or die. From high school to college, you two are best friends for the long run. While your relationship has always been platonic, there is something about the wind in his brown locks and the thrills drawing donuts in an empty parking lot that causes butterflies to jump down below. Have you always been attracted to him or did he finally grow up to be your type? taglist ➠ @rabbit-doyochi​​ ; @darkneogotmyback​​ ; @im-lame-irl​​ ; @p-mini​​ ; @niniluvsmarkhyuck​​ ; @saniahmichael​​ ; @jaehy9ngs​​ ; @danyxthirstae01​​ ; @jaehyunoos​​ ; @pikijaemin​​ ; @suhweo​​ ; @dearlyminhyung​​ ; @yunoyeol​​ ; @lanadreamie​​ ; @ta3ilmoon​​ ; @legendnct​​

a/n ➠ hi yall its author doie❀!! THIS ONE IS FLITHY YALL i need to cleanse my soul after writing this omgg !! also heres my attempt at writing dirty talk yikes yall already know, feedback is highly appreciated esp after getting so much attention for this series (which i am more than grateful for and happy about), i do hope people can leave me something motivating! i am struggling to finish these long fics lmao

Stupid Lee fucking Haechan. Haechan pulls up sheepishly and rolls down the passenger window to reveal your crossed arm stance and very agitated expression. “Look who finally decided to show up.”

Keep reading

MY DEAR ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა | l.hj

pairing: lee hyunjae x f! reader

genre: best friends to lovers!

synopsis: hyunjae was not expecting to confess his feelings for you at his older sister’s wedding

word count: 3.5k words

warnings: mild cussing, mentions of alcohol, hyunjae being a bit too tipsy, kissing, our two leads being a bit oblivious (someone pls help them)

author’s note: hi everyone :D i finally finished this after a month of it sitting in my drafts, i hope you enjoy reading this little one shot <3

If love was a losing battlefield, that is what Lee Hyunjae pictured it to be.

The young man in his mid-20s had no idea how he kept his bottled-up feelings for his best friend L/N Y/N for so long. Everyone would make bets of when the other would crack or confess. But whenever you would hear of these silly bets or predictions, you would laugh it off, saying that you two were just best of friends.

Little did you know, those words would sting Hyunjae like a bee. And little did you know, he had a crush on you from the moment you both met as mere toddlers.

Hyunjae vividly remembered sipping on a juice box waiting for class to start, scared. He had an attachment to his parents and older sister at a young age. Whenever he was left with his grandparents or his aunt, he would start to look for them, crying out of fear.

He immediately started to sob as soon as his mom unbuckled his car seat.

Surely but slowly, making it into the classroom and out of the school parking lot, his teacher offered him an apple juice to calm him down and distract him from his mom leaving to go to work.

Hyunjae sat still, feeling nervous as soon as he found out his juice box was empty. As he put juice box down, he started to look around the classroom, trying to calm himself down. Once he saw you walk in the classroom with a big gap in your top front teeth owning a big smile and a contagious giggle, he knew from there on out that you would be his best friend for life.

And from there on, you two were peas in a pod.

No one could separate you both even if they tried. It got to the point where you were always at his or his always at yours. Your parents would always set an extra plate down at the dinner table and vice versa. It was a reoccurring thing and even your families treated you both as having an extra kid in the household.

Even at family outings, he would always tag along or you’d always tag along on his. There was never a dull moment whenever you guys were together and your families secretly swore to each other that you both would get together in the future.

Things slowly then started to change as you both reached middle school. As soon as you started having sporadic crushes on boys in your grade, Hyunjae started to feel irritated by every boy you mentioned.

Hyunjae recalled when you had a crush on the golden boy Kim Younghoon in the 8th grade. You would go on about how smart he’d be in their science class or volunteer in math, every time your teacher would ask the class to solve a problem. Hyunjae felt irritated but dealt with your yapping because after all, you are his best friend.

No matter how many times he’d be exhausted from you going on and on, he’d still listen because he cared a lot about you. He liked hearing about things that excited you- even if it was about a boy that was not him. He liked seeing you happy, it seemed to be all he cared about.

When the annual school field trip to a science museum came, Hyunjae remembered how he felt seeing you get put into a group with Younghoon.

He felt those nervous jitters he felt, the first time he saw you back in kindergarten.

He remembered, holding his hand to his chest on the ride back to the school campus, confused by all the mixed emotions he was feeling.

And that is when he realized, he may of had feelings for you that entire time. He remembered muttering to himself on the bus, leaving his best friend Juyeon concerned whether he was okay or not- thinking he was dehydrated or had a bad headache.

Scared of ruining his friendship with you, Hyunjae kept his feelings to himself. He thought they would just magically disappear like a magician saying abracadabra in their little magic tricks. He thought suppressing them would be better and it would be best to just let things be.

Those suppressed feelings worked for a bit while the both of you managed to get into your first relationships with other people throughout high school. It would all change once you both got into the same university and broke up with your partners.

And yet until the present time, the both of you still ended up single.

As the both of you then graduated, you both started your respective careers, always meeting up with your circle of friends once in a while and of course, always being together in your free time.

Sometimes Hyunjae would hang out at your apartment and sometimes you’d hang out at his.

Hyunjae realized that during all of this maybe his feelings never changed since then.

Maybe, he never did get over his feelings for you.

Now here he is, sitting at the closest table by the concessions stand of his sister’s wedding, taking another shot of God knows what with his best friends Juyeon, Kevin, and Jacob.

“Man, slow down, your sister is going to beat your ass,” Kevin muttered as Hyunjae shook his head.

Hyunjae’s older sister Yoonah was finally getting married to her boyfriend after 5 years. He was happy for his sister but as soon as he heard Younghoon was invited (his older sister so happens to be the same age as Yoonah), he felt like he was about to lock himself in his bedroom and roll into a ball. He did not know if Younghoon had a girlfriend or not- heck he never spoken to him since middle school. As soon as he saw Younghoon walk into the entrance of the city hall earlier, he felt like he was about to pull his hair out.

As he drank the remaining alcohol in his glass, he remembered Yoonah and their little conversation whilst shopping for her wedding reception.

“My baby brother, when will you admit it, you’re not getting any younger.” Yoonah sighed as she looked through the variety of utensils and plates. As she picked up one of the silver spoons, she glanced to Hyunjae who was looking away, pretending not to hear anything she said. He whistled a tune of the song he heard from Yoonah’s playlist in the car earlier, crossing his arms.

Hyunjae unwillingly agreed to help Yoonah out with the wedding ceremony preparations. As Yoonah’s best friend Naeun had a last-minute errand to run, she immediately asked Hyunjae to go with her. With Hyunjae only having one day off this week due to a large project at the office, he was exhausted, to say the least- but he could not pass on the offer of Yoonah treating him to lunch.

The two were now walking around an events coordinator's office, looking for inspiration for the wedding reception. Yoonah decided with her fiance, that it would be best if the wedding would take place half a year from the proposal. Even if it seemed like it would be far away from the current date, they wanted to prepare early and make sure everything was perfect.

“Noona, I did not come here to answer those questions.” Hyunjae sighed as he walked beside her toward the next section.

“When did you become so grumpy, you used to cling to Mom, Dad, and me all the time?” Yoonah pouted as she jokingly pulled on Hyunjae’s cheek.

“Stop it!” Hyunjae sighed as he looked around. He did not like when Yoonah drew attention to them, especially in public.

Yoonah chuckled. She shook her head, walking towards the other side of the store. “I’m just telling you, everyone knows except her.”

“You’re lying.”

“Why do our moms always talk about your guys’ future kids and their names then?”

Hyunjae looked at Yoonah in pure confusion. “They do that?”

“Well of course when you aren’t there dummy.”

Yoonah then glanced towards the different colored threads, trying to find perfect accents for the reception. She looked back to Hyunjae as she let go of the thread she held. “I’m serious though, how would you feel if she told you she met someone?”

“It’s been years Noona, plus she’s work-oriented you know her.” Hyunjae disagreed. He felt a bit uncomfortable, knowing he was just pulling excuses.

He recalled when You first told him someone asked her out on a date. It was the time when You recently just moved into your place and just finished settling down. He felt his teeth grinding on each other, giving the biggest smile. Of course, he was happy that You were ecstatic about getting asked out, but at the same time, he was dishonest with himself, wishing that it was him instead.

“I’m just telling you, you never know what could happen.”

“And what if we don’t speak again, I can’t lose her.”

“It doesn’t hurt to try,” Yoonah’s lips turned into a little smile. She then smiled. “I’d love her as a sister-in-law though.”

“Okay, I think it’s time to get lunch now Noona.”

Hyunjae glanced towards you as you were sitting by the terrace with Younghoon. You were catching up with him, reminiscing about the old times in middle school and talking about the encounters you both had even if it was just a small hi or hello.

He felt like that conversation with Yoonah was now biting him in the butt as if it was destined to happen.

Hyunjae focused on how your lips turned into a wide smile every time Younghoon would talk or how your right dimple poked out whenever you’d laugh. He hated that you were laughing with someone else- that was not him. He put down his empty glass, asking the waiter to give him another.

“Now, I know why he’s drinking.” Juyeon nudged both Kevin and Jacob, eyeing you with Younghoon.

The two then looked at you and back to Hyunjae, realizing what was going on.

“Bro, you’re an idiot.” Jacob sighed.

“Guys, let me be.” Hyunjae muttered.

“It’s your sister’s wedding, shouldn’t you be happy right now?” Juyeon asked.

Hyunjae shook his head, letting out a dry laugh. “I’m happy I promise.”

“Jae, we all know that you’re dying on the inside knowing Y/N is talking to Younghoon after so long. You’re scared aren’t you?” Kevin asked.

Hyunjae glared at Kevin and shook his head again. He laughed and thanked the waiter and took another sip from the glass.

Juyeon then tapped Kevin and Jacob’s shoulders, huddling with them behind Hyunjae. “Guys, I may have a plan…” He muttered softly.

“Huh?” Jacob asked.

Kevin sighed, crossing his arms. “What did you have in mind?”

Juyeon smirked. “You guys do know Younghoon has a girlfriend right?”

Everyone was busy partying on the dance floor as Uptown Funk by Bruno Mars started to play. With strobe lights glistening and loud music blaring throughout the reception hall, it seemed not to bother Hyunjae much as he was stuck in his own little world.

Hyunjae was unaware of how many drinks he asked the waiter for. He did not realize that his friends were dancing on the dance floor and left him alone to his own devices.

Little did he know, Juyeon went up towards You and Younghoon, interrupting your small talk. After he pointed towards Hyunjae, showing you what happened, you sat your glass of Champagne down.

You said goodbye to Younghoon and told Juyeon a quick thanks, telling him you would take care of Hyunjae. You knew your best friend better than himself and that him and alcohol did not mix well.

You walked quickly to where Hyunjae was and sighed. He had his head down, facing the other side, already asleep. You shook his shoulder a little, trying to see if he was conscious or not.

Hyunjae sat up and turned towards you. He muttered a hi and smiled a little. He felt a bit tipsy from whatever he drank but could somewhat still tell what was going on.

Somewhat.

You rolled your eyes, a bit annoyed with Hyunjae. Out of all the times he decided to drink, it had to be right now at the reception hall of his sister’s wedding. “Jae, what happened?”

“Can we get some air please?” Hyunjae asked softly. “I just need air right now.”

“Can you even walk?” You asked.

Hyunjae stood up from his seat, wobbling a little. He gave you a little thumbs up as he walked and stumbled a little to the side entrance. You put his arm around yours for balance as you both walked out.

The both of you then sat on a bench right by where the large fountain was. It was a nice little seating area that had a path that led straight to the parking lot. It was quiet and peaceful out here with no one around. All you could hear was just the trees swaying in the wind below the night sky and the water sprouting out from the top splashing down to the bottom of the fountain.

The music was blaring still but it was now a bit muffled as the side doors to the reception hall was closed shut.

“Y/N, I need, I need to tell you something.” Hyunjae stammered a little.

“And what is that?” You asked.

“Do you like Younghoon again?”

You blinked your eyes rapidly, taken aback by Hyunjae’s question. You know Hyunjae did not take his alcohol well but never was he that blunt to ask such a question.

“No?” You replied in confusion. “He has a girlfriend Jae.”

“Oh, that’s good to hear. Good for him.” Hyunjae’s lips formed into a smile as you laughed to yourself.

“Why did you ask?”

“Maybe it’s cause I hate to see you with someone, that’s not me.”

Your breath hitched a little. Taken aback by Hyunjae’s words, you looked intently at him. You knew alcohol could be someone’s worst enemy and it seemed to be your own best friend’s right now- revealing something that you could have never imagined. “Can you, can you say that one more time?”

Hyunjae felt himself wake up little by little. He did not know if he was dreaming or not, but if he was, he decided it was now or never. Because frankly, when would he even admit to his own feelings?

“Y/N, I don’t want you to laugh with someone that’s not me. I don’t want you to see you smiling with someone that’s not me. I want it to be me.” Hyunjae said as he turned his head towards you. “All these years I wished it was me Y/N.”

“You’re my best friend,” You said under your breath. “I never thought you’d see me in that light.”

“Wasn’t I obvious Y/N?” Hyunjae asked. “I don’t know but ever since we graduated, I think I just fell more in love with you. Our lives now, it’s as if we’re together, don’t you think?”

You gulped a little. It felt like your little conversation with Younghoon was about to come to life in just a snap of a finger.

“So, are you and your best friend a thing yet?” Younghoon peered his eyes in Hyunjae’s direction. You glanced towards Hyunjae who was drinking with his best guy friends.

You looked back to Younghoon and shook your head. “Oh, Hyunjae and I? We are just best friends. Always have and always will be.”

“Are you sure about that?” Younghoon laughed. He clicked his tongue, shaking his head. “I see your Instagram stories once in a while, you guys are always together.”

“Let’s just say we never really thought of each other in that sense- I mean I’ll admit there was this one point in college when I started to question my feelings for him but I just let it go.”

“And why did you?” Younghoon sighed. “I remember in the 8th grade this one time, you remember that field trip we went on right?”

“Oh yeah, that, what about it?”

“The way he looked at me from afar,” Younghoon said. “It looked like he was about to fight me or threaten me. I never seen him so mad in my life.”

“Huh?” You asked in confusion.

“Y/N, you’re a bit oblivious. I do think deep down you like him, you just don’t want to address that elephant in the room.”

You let out a laugh. “Younghoon-”

“Y/N. I’m serious. I know you liked me but don’t get me wrong, a few boys did like you too.” Younghoon sat up. “We knew we’d never stand a chance next to Hyunjae. That’s why I was surprised when I heard you had a boyfriend that wasn’t him in high school through a mutual friend.”

“Oh,” You replied.

“That’s beside the point though. Maybe it’s your guys' turn to admit to each other’s feelings.”

“This is funny hearing it from a guy I used to like.” You laughed awkwardly as Younghoon shook his head. “I am very flattered Y/N, but I really do wish you and him the best.”

You snapped out of your thoughts and back to Hyunjae who was staring right at you with his cheeks as red as a tomato. You blinked your eyes rapidly, feeling your heart race.

Were you too blinded by the fact he was your best friend? Or were you too scared to lose him?

“Jae, I think you just need some air-”

“Y/N please, please listen to me,” Hyunjae replied.

You start to think again about you and Hyunjae and these past few years and how,

you both never resorted to dating ever since the both of you dated your exes.

How you both were always at each other’s places no matter how hectic life got.

How you both were always reminded of each other wherever you went.

How you both always ditched the others at dinner to get ice cream at the nearest parlor near your apartment.

How you both had each other at your beck and call whenever you or he needed someone.

How you both fell asleep in each other’s arms during your late-night talks on his couch.

How you both never once left each other not even once since the day you both met.

You took in a deep breath, feeling tears form in your eyes. You felt overwhelmed, to say the least, that maybe after all this time, you did like Hyunjae. Maybe it was the fear of losing your best friend that made you never want to admit your feelings.

“I never realized it. I’m so sorry Jae, I really am.”

Hyunjae started to regain his composure little by little. Realizing what he just said, he gulped. This was no dream, it all was happening in real life. He felt his heart beat even faster, perplexed by how straightforward he was. He can’t believe what he just did- he never thought he had the courage to.

As soon as he started to see tears form in your eyes, he opened them wider, in panic. “Y/N, wait-”

“Why did you have to do this at the wedding?” You asked as he put his hand to your eyes, wiping the tears away. You pouted, “Ugh, Jae my makeup.”

The both of you then smiled as he shook his head. “You’re beautiful Y/N, have I told you that?” You let out a little laugh, never seeing your best friend this smitten over you. He then glanced towards the side doors, shaking his head. “I’m going to beat their asses later.”

Hyunjae sighed, as he referred to his guy best friends whose little plan seemed to be working in their favor. “Y/N-”

“Jae, did you like me all this time?” You asked softly.

Hyunjae took in a deep breath. There’s no going back now, he had to admit to it. “Yes. Yes, I held it in. I didn’t want to lose you. I was scared because we’ve been in each other’s lives for so long, I don’t know what I would do if I lost you.”

“Oh my Jae, I’m so sorry I never realized it. It’s my fault.” You choked a little as Hyunjae shook his head. “No, it’s both our faults for not owning up to anything.”

“What do we do now?” You asked, letting out a little sigh.

“Are you okay with me doing this?” Hyunjae asked.

You nodded your head as he put his lips on yours. He held your face softly as a tear then escaped your eye. As you pulled away, you bit your lip a little. “Jae...”

“Hmm?” Hyunjae hummed softly.

“Thank you for never giving up on me.”

“Anything for you my dear,” Hyunjae whispered. “Thank you for being my best friend and now someone I could love dearly with all my heart.”

You both smiled in silence, as he pulled you in again for another kiss.

Little did both 6-year-old You and Hyunjae know that their future was already written the moment you stepped into the classroom that one sunlit day.

© juyuppang , 2024

landing page | masterlist

gohdamn 😩✨🎂 scene, then the ending canr and it was 🔥😭💔

The Sun That Always Burns | S.JY pt.2

sim jaeyun x afab!reader

warnings: smut (mdni). exhibitionism (slightly), fluff, angst, y/n is kinda mean, fingering, oral (m+f rec), pet names, protected/unprotected sex, not proofread, anything else lmk!

wc: 17k+ (sorry)

synopsis: you and jake's high school relationship blossomed into a romance filled with hope and promise. however, as time went on, jake's long-term expectations began to weigh heavily on you, who struggled to meet them. your paths eventually lead you in separate directions, each experiencing different aspects of life and ultimately moving on from your past love. unexpectedly, fate intervened and you both reunite after years apart. the reunion allows you to rediscover your feelings for each other but also forces you to navigate the complexities of your past and present.

part 1 | part 3

a/n: hi! this part is heavily filled with plot, drama and smut. hope you all like it. this will probably be the deciding factor of if I continue the series (I have written it all now) or not. if you like it and want more please lmk!

To say everything was going well with you and Jaeyun over the next year would be an understatement.You had never felt so loved in your life; not by your parents, not by your siblings, it was only Jaeyun that made you feel like the world had its saturation turned up. The sun had a habit of making life look brighter.

Your 18th birthday party was tonight and you had been planning this for the past few months. It fell right after exams so you were going to use it as an excuse to get everyone together and let loose. Did you have an abundance of friends? Not really, you had your group of all-weather friends. Did that mean you didn’t invite everyone in your year that you liked so you could have a great birthday bash? Absolutely not.

Your friends Ryujin and Yeji were there to help you pick out a birthday outfit which of course you had preemptively chosen knowing that it would have the approval of your best friends and your boyfriend.

“Y/N, you look amazing,” Ryujin said as she eyed you in your short black dress with red lace trimming the bottom and ends, “You look so good, Jake isn’t going to be able to keep his hands off you.” You smile and nod, she would never know you bought the dress specifically for that reason. When you were in the store there were lots of dresses that fit your normal aesthetic but you wanted something bold, something that said you’re no longer a little girl. Of course, you were still a little girl, one birthday isn’t going to magically make you an adult but that didn’t mean you couldn’t look like it.

A few hours later and the party is in full swing, your parents are gone, there is over 50 people in your house, and you have to get to see Jaeyun. You’re getting nervous that he isn’t going to come. His text message stares at you as you read it for the nth time.

Be there soon, Baby. Can’t wait to see my girl! x

That was two hours ago. 

“Hey.” A voice from behind you pulls you out of your trance and you look at him, his body close to yours, “You’re the birthday girl, right? I’m Sunghoon.” His sleeked-back hair and perfect features throw your whole state of being off. 

“H-Hey. Um, yeah I am! Thank you for coming.” You bow a little and as you come up, your eyes meet his, and your face goes red. He is so beautiful, mesmerising, unlike anything you’ve ever seen before. The moon shines on his face as it bleeds through the windows. The freckles on his face add another dimension of beauty, his canines gleaming when he smiles.

“You’re Jake’s girlfriend? Where is he?” where is he? You ask yourself the same question. He is always beside you, always on time, always here. 

You shrug your shoulders and fakely chuckle, “I have no idea actually.” Honesty is the best policy but as Sunghoon’s hand reaches for your arm you think it was better if you had lied and told him Jaeyun was only away to the toilet. Jaeyun please come here quick. Sunghoon caught on to your rigid demeanor and nodded. He knew Jaeyun had an unholy hold on you.

“If I was Jake,” he started, “I would never let my pretty girlfriend stand alone at her own party.” Sunghoon kissed your temple.

He was right. Jaeyun should have been here the whole time. Are you too lenient on him? You take a shot of Cherry Sourz, Jaeyun’s favourite you mentally note. An earlier conversation with Yeji pops into your head.

“If you’re going to celebrate your 18th birthday you might as well have no regrets.”

And that’s exactly what you did. 4 hours after the party started you had no sense of yourself, Jaeyun was still nowhere to be found, and you were handed another shot. This was your 9th shot to be exact. 

Jaeyun strolls through the door with his friends Heeseung and Jay. His attitude was relaxed, a smile plastered on his face as he said hi to the people in the hallway; that was until he saw you.

Your body in that dress, your hair tussled from the dancing, the way the smile was placed upon your place, those hands that were on your hips. Jaeyun paused, his jaw that was once relaxed now clenched as he saw who was behind the foreign hands holding you - Sunghoon. 

Huffing, Jaeyun clenched his fists and walked over to you, jealousy seeping through every part of his body. He wasn’t afraid to admit that he was intimidated by Sunghoon, he wasn’t delusional to the fact that Sunghoon was attractive, probably the most handsome guy at the school and lamentably for Jaeyun, he was clearly into you. 

“Baby.” Jaeyun whispers as he wraps his arms around your waist and knocks Sunghoon off of you in the process, resting his head on your right shoulder, “Happy birthday, my love.” You were mad at him, but his touch was almost enough to forgive him. Unfortunately for Jaeyun, the shots didn’t make you forgive but rather fueled your anger towards him. 

You brushed his hands off ignoring him as you continued your conversation with Sunghoon. Jaeyun was hurt. In a way, he understood why you were acting like this, he let you down, and football practice lasted way longer than he intended, however, he wasn’t about to let Sunghoon take up all your attention. “Princess,” he whispered, knowing exactly what it did to you. You couldn’t ignore him anymore but that didn’t stop you from rolling your eyes.  Jaeyun noticed. “I’m sorry I’m late, I feel like such a dickhea-”

“Good. I hope you feel worse than that. I have been waiting for 4 hours. Do you know how embarrassing that is? All so you could what? Kick a ball about? Cheat on me? I don’t understand what was so much more important.”

Jaeyun stands still. He feels sick to think that even for a second you thought that you weren’t the most important person in his life. Cheat. That word echoed in his mind and he started to feel sick. Did he not show you love enough? Why was that one of the first things you thought of? He would never dream of it, he hasn’t even so much looked at a girl since he met you.

“Baby, I’m sorry I got caught up in football practice.” He confessed honestly. Was it an excuse? No, but his coach wasn’t letting him away no matter the excuse he gave.

“Whatever, Jake.” Jake. You hardly ever called him that before, not since you found out he liked being called Jaeyun more. Everyone called him Jake except for his family and you. His face turned pale as he realised how hurt you were by his actions. “Go enjoy yourself, I’m in the middle of a conversation.” His eyes met Sunghoon as you spoke. Sunghoon had a smirk on his face as if he had won in a game Jaeyun didn't know he was playing, and he did not want to be a part of it. 

You turned to Sunghoon and continued to speak to him, ignoring Jaeyun’s sad expression as you laughed at whatever shitty joke Sunghoon had to offer. 

To say Jaeyun was a sensitive soul would be an understatement. His feelings were so easy to read because he never thought to hide them, and as much as he was bottling his anger as Sunghoon stroked your arm, he wasn’t hiding it well. You were getting dangerously close to Sunghoon, your chest was millimetres away from him, and your head was tilted up to look at him. When Sunghoon leans down as if he is going to kiss you, Jaeyun knows he has to do something.Sunghoon had a reputation and Jaeyun would be damned if he let you be a part of it.

He strides over and hugs you from behind not unlike before. Trying to keep his cool and not come off as jealous he nuzzles his face into your neck and whines, “Baby.” Dragging out the pet name was a tactic he’ll admit. He knew you couldn’t resist it. “Can I give you your present now?”

“Is it to leave me alone? Because I would love that.” You spat at him. As soon as you turned around to look at him you instantly regretted the words that escaped your lips. Jaeyun’s eyes were wide, his brain was working overtime, and his chest was moving heavily. The alcohol in your system was making you react in a completely opposite way to how you would have. If sober you was alert she would have comforted Jaeyun and given him a thousand kisses to apologise, but drunk you was in charge and she was dangerous. “I need you to stop being so clingy, it's embarrassing.” Stop talking you screamed at yourself, “Can’t you see I’m talking to someone?” For the love of god please shut up and apologise. 

“Oh.” Jaeyun nodded slowly. He has never gotten angry, not once since you’ve known him, at least not seriously, but right now you see a fire behind his eyes that makes you wonder if you’re seeing things. He pushed his tongue to the side of his mouth and looked down, letting out a half scoff half laugh.  “Hope you have fun fucking him.” Jaeyun glares at Sunghoon and with that, he leaves. You call his name but he pushes through the crowded people to escape through the front door. 

He hears you calling his name but he is too upset to answer you. Your hand grabs his wrist as you pull at him, “Babe, please.” You plead but he yanks his arm away and continues walking. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean it.”

“Mean what? That I’m clingy? That you would rather speak to Sunghoon? That you think i would ever cheat on you?” His voice turns venomous towards the end and in that moment you realise what you’ve actually done. “Okay, yes I was late for your birthday, and believe me Y/N I am so fucking sorry. I tried to get away and I couldn’t. But you flirting with someone right in front of me? That’s a low i never expected.”

“Jaeyun I never-”

“Don’t fucking try it.” Jaeyun cuts you off. You have never seen him like this. “I’ll take anything you have to say to me, all the criticisms, but don’t you dare ever for a second think I would cheat on you.” Tears are forming in his eyes but he blinks them away and exhales slowly trying to regain some composure. He might have been upset with you but he couldn’t bare to shout at you. “Y/N, I can’t control what you do, or what you think, but you can’t fuck with me like that.”

He was right. You were flirting with another guy because you were mad at Jaeyun. It wasn’t fair to him. You stare at him and bite your bottom lip to stop yourself from crying. You want to hug him and kiss him and apologise but your body and brain were fueled by the substances consumed earlier. “You know what Jaeyun?” you started, “How am I supposed to know you aren’t going around with other people? Half of your football team were here on time but suddenly the coach only wants you to stay behind? Fucking funny that isn’t it?”

“I fucking love you, Y/N. That should be enough for you to understand I’m not screwing anyone behind your back. Do you not trust me? Have I done something that would make you not trust me?” His voice is angry but not raised. Jaeyun sees the hurt in your eyes at his temper and it almost makes him aplogise. Almost. What does he have to be sorry for? He said he was sorry for being late, it was you who blew this into a big deal.

You knew it too. You knew deep down he would never cheat on you, and he wouldn’t be late for your birthday unless something was holding him back. The alcohol that coursed through your veins wasn’t helping you be a reasonable person, however. You stood in silence, staring at Jaeyun. He scoffs. “You don’t trust me? Fine. You know what?” Jaeyun takes a gift-wrapped box from his jacket pocket and throws it with force on the ground at your feet. “Happy fucking birthday, Y/N. Hope Sunghoon gets you off better than I can.” 

Frozen, you watch him walk home angrily. Your first fight and it was over something so stupid, something you caused and could easily have been fixed. No, it wasn’t great that he was late, but it wasn’t worth losing him over.

You bend down to pick up the box and unwrap it. As you flip open the box you see a gold sun-shaped necklace with a rose quartz centre. It’s beautiful and it’s so obviously Jaeyun. You were his sunshine, his love, his everything, and he probably saved up for this necklace which was clearly handmade. The engraving was the date you first started school, the day you first met. 

You were an idiot. You had to make it right, you can’t lose him. Losing him would ruin you completely. Running as fast as you can in heels you try to catch up with him but he is nowhere to be found. You spend a good hour outside looking for him before making your way to his house. He had to be there by now.

As you stand before his front door you inhale a deep breath and chap the door vigorously. 

“Oh my days it’s like 2 am what do you want.” Jaeyun opens the door quickly, speaking before he has even seen you. His eyes fall on you, red-faced, chest rising and falling at a rapid pace, the dress is hiked up sitting just under your ass. “Y/N?” 

Bursting into tears you blabber out everything you have to say. “Jaeyun I am such an idiot, I am so sorry for ever thinking you would cheat. To be honest, I knew you would never, I was just drunk” You’ve started to sober up in between the running and crying, “You were late for my birthday and It honestly wasn’t even that big a deal, I was angry and stupid. I love you so much please don’t break up with me.” You rush the last few sentences in between sobs. 

Standing in the doorframe, Jaeyun’s eyes are soft, a smile gracing his lips - a complete opposite to how he was only a few hours ago. He hated how blown out this whole thing was. It took him coming home and showering to calm down and assess how undeep the situation truly was.

“Princess, I know.” He brings you in for a hug and squeezes you as if at any moment you could disappear. “I will never break up with you, my love.” A kiss to your forehead. “I’m not angry at you.” A kiss to your temple.”I’m sorry I was clingy” A kiss to your cheek. “I love you so much.” A kiss to your lips.

You pull away with wide eyes, “You aren’t clingy, I was an idiot. I love you, I want you to be clingy all the time. I love it. I was just mad you were late.” Jaeyun nods in understanding and bites his lip, a habit of his you’ve never been able to get over.

“I’m sorry I was late.” He stares at you with his forehead resting against yours. Your eyes are red and puffy, his show clear signs of crying too. You were both so scared to lose each other in this moment that no words were exchanged, just this stare.

He pulls you in for a kiss and grabs your waist as he brings you into his house. “Stay with me tonight.” He whispers, almost unmissable if you weren’t listening. You nod and keep kissing him. 

“I’m sorry, Jaeyun.” He shakes his head.

“No, don’t. Don’t keep apologising, we were both silly.” He looks down at your hands and notices the box that contains his birthday present to you. “Did you like it?” You’re confused at first but as your eyes follow his to where they are looking for you to answer.

“I love it, can you put it on me?” 

Without another word, he nods and brings you into his room. He quietly shuts the door trying not to alert his parents. Jaeyun was surprised at how they didn’t wake up with you banging at the door but he didn’t give it too much thought. “Turn around, Princess.”

Obediently you turn around and hand him the necklace. As he clasps the jewelry around your neck you shiver at the coldness of the gold. The coldness doesn’t last long as Jaeyun starts kissing your neck, his plump lips pressing softly. 

“Jaeyun,” You moan softly and turn to face him, “let me make it up to you.” Your hands trail down his body as you stop at his lower abdomen. It’s only now you realise he’s only wearing his black boxers. “I’ve been so horrible to you.” As you play with the lining of his underwear, Jaeyun throws his head back. He wants this, he really does. You’re beautiful all the time but there is something so ethereal about your lips around his cock. But you’re intoxicated and upset and he doesn’t want to take advantage of that.

“Baby, I don’t need you to do that.” Jaeyun’s heart is beating fast as you trace the outline of his cock. “Please, you’re drunk and I don’t want you to feel like you have to.” He’s trying to defuse this situation without hurting your feelings. What he isn’t aware of is that you aren’t listening to him, a hand trespasses his boxers and lightly strokes his cock making him mutter an almost inaudible ‘fuck.’

With a hand on him, you guide him to sit on the gaming chair in his room. “Relax, Jaeyun. I know how much you love my mouth.” He could come right there and then. You slide his boxers off, slapping his thigh so he will lift his bum off the chair. “I’ve missed your cock so much.”

Jaeyun laughs at that. “We literally fucked yesterday.” 

“Technically it was 2 days ago,” you point to the clock that reads 2.37 am, “and I didn’t even get the celebratory cliche birthday sex.” Pouting while you were down on your knees had Jaeyun’s head in meltdown mode. You were so beautiful, in spite of the tear-stained cheeks and mascara smudging, you looked so irresistible.

His hand comes to cup your cheek as his thumb wipes away the running makeup from your face, “You’re so lovely.” You smile and he mirrors you, “Lovely people deserve to get fucked on their birthday, yeah?” Jaeyun breathes out.

There it is, the Jaeyun you were waiting for, and the permission you needed to take his cock in your mouth. It caught him off guard and his hands instinctively moved to your hair. “Fuck, Princess you’re so beautiful like this.” He looks down at you with admiration and desire. You bob your head up and down, every time you come up you swirl your tongue around the tip, dipping into his slit every second time. You knew everything that made Jaeyun feel pleasure. Over the past few years, you’ve learned and memorised each other's bodies, likes and dislikes. You were convinced no one could ever know you the way Jaeyun does. 

A few weeks ago you walked in on Jaeyun jerking off to porn. He threw his phone away and apologised a million times. You’re not the type of girlfriend that has an issue with her boyfriend watching porn, you too have done it sometimes if he’s away for the weekend to football training. What you did notice though was that as you picked up the phone, the girl was giving very enthusiastic head, gagging as he fucked his cock into her mouth. You had never done anything like that before. Jaeyun always held back thrusting his hips up so as to not cause you pain or discomfort. But you wanted it.

So today, you were going to give him everything you got. Apologies can’t be half-arsed, right?

You smile and lift your bum from your feet so you’re hovering over his cock at a higher angle. Smirking, your eyes meet his and you take his full length in your mouth, gagging as the tip breaches the back of your throat.

“Baby be careful.” Jaeyun was always attentive, always caring, but right now you needed to see him lose control. You don’t come off his cock but rather sit with his dick in your mouth and swallow - a trick that wasn’t easy to master but you knew it would drive him crazy. “Fuck, Princess.” As he feels your throat close and pinch the tip of his dick he moans so loudly you’re scared his parents might hear him.

You work your mouth up and down his cock again, you pinch his thighs a little and his hips thrust up, slamming his cock into your throat again. “Shit, baby I’m sorry.” You simply moan trying to let him know that's what you want. You pinch him again and he gets the memo. “Oh? Does my love want me to fuck her pretty little mouth?” You’re dripping by this point and hum around him in acknowledgment. He leans down and pulls you off his cock. “Tell me you want it.” Jaeyun’s hand has your hair in a ponytail. 

“I want you to fuck my throat until I can’t speak anymore.” A groan leaves his body. You’re perfect, he doesn’t understand where you came from, or how you both exist in this lifetime together, but he is so thankful.

“If it gets too much just tap my leg three times okay, Baby? No matter what. If it hurts, if you need air, let me know.” Nodding your head and smiling you let out a weak okay and he kissed your lips. It's so tender and loving. You know you’re about to get a completely different Jaeyun in two seconds.

He squeezes your cheeks with his middle finger and thumb to get your mouth to open. His dick is red and frustrated, multiple veins protruding around the shaft. You’re starving for it. Placing his cock in your mouth you take him all in. 

Slowly thrusting you can see he is trying to be gentle so you meet his thrusts, sucking up and down. “My baby.” He breathlessly moans as he picks up the pace. His tip is battering against your throat and you love every second of it. You hum in pleasure around him as he pounds faster into your mouth. “Y/N you’re so fucking good to me, such a perfect girl. Always taking what I give you.” He moans and his thrusts become erratic, and sloppy as he gets closer to his high,

His grip is tighter on your hair and he yanks you off before he comes.

“Jaeyun what’s wrong?” Your voice is hoarse and it drives him crazy.

“I need to come inside you, Princess. You can call it another birthday present.” He kisses you and lifts you up with ease, his mouth never leaving yours. “Such a pretty dress,” he states as he lays you down on the bed, “As soon as I saw you in it I knew I had to fuck you while you wear it.” Jaeyun hikes up the dress so it sits above your hips, exposing your red underwear, his favourite. “All for me, yeah?” His fingers lightly graze your slit over the lace. 

“Everything is for you.” The loving confession makes his heart swell in his chest. He needs you so bad, and you know it. “Just fuck me Jaeyun.” Your eyes land on his cautious ones. He hasn’t prepped you yet, it’s already a struggle to make him fit when he’s stretched you open. “I can’t wait for your cock any longer.” Frustration is laced within your voice and your body is writhing for some attention.

Jaeyun takes a condom from his stash and slides it on. His sensitive tip colliding with the rubber makes him wince. He looks for lube but can’t find his usual tube. You look at him searching and take the opportunity to shuffle down, grab his cock, and guide it to your entrance.The shock plastered on his face is quickly switched out with one of pure lust. “Princess can’t wait huh?” You eagerly shake your head as you push him in. The stretch isn’t painful due to how turned on you are. Genuine wonder starts to invade your brain as you think back to any other time you’ve been this desperate. You haven’t.

“You’re the death of me, Y/N.” He moans as he bottoms out. 

“I need you to fuck me so bad, baby.” And who was he to deny you? His thrusts are sharp and pierce right through you. “Right there, baby, so so good.” Your encouraging words spur him on and he goes at a faster pace.

“Tell me I’m the only one.” He mutters as he kisses your neck. He was still feeling a little self-conscious after the whole Sunghoon incident. To think that you could be taken away by someone else makes his heartbreak, he needs the reassurance.

Bringing his head up and cupping his cheek you stare lovingly into his eyes, “You’ll always be the only one. I don’t want anyone else. I need you.” 

Jaeyun practically growls as he picks up the pace again. You’re trying not to moan loudly but he’s hitting all the right spots and it’s got you gasping. His hands are roaming your body, gripping and grasping at every part of you, the action will leave bruises and he’ll apologise in the morning but right now he just needs to feel you.

“Even if Sunghoon wanted you?” he asks quietly and you shake your head immediately. Never for a second would you even spare any time of day for the other, not when you had Jaeyun. You were going to have serious words with yourself once you’re done. You made Jaeyun feel insecure, you’re the reason he’s doubting himself like this.  

“He could never love me the way you do,” you bring your lips to his ear, “and he certainly couldn’t fuck me the way you do.” 

Pure fire and passion rise through Jaeyun’s body. His thrusts go harder and faster, he places your legs on his shoulders and drives in deeper. “You take me so well, Princess. I love you so much.” Jaeyun might have been fucking you like he was a man possessed but his kind and nurturing personality will always come through.

He was perfect.

You clench around him, “Jaeyun, babe, I’m so close.” Your nails are digging into his arms. 

“Me too, Baby.” he kisses you gently, “Come around my cock, show me how good I make you feel.” Jaeyun might be the sweetest man alive but he is still a man after all, always trying to get you to boost his ego. And you come around his cock hard, your chanting his name mixed with a few ‘fucks’ and ‘oh gods’ in there. 

Not letting up, Jaeyun is still pounding into you, “Good girl.” he mumbles into a kiss. It doesn’t take long before he’s spilling into the condom. “Fuck, Y/N.” His moans are loud and desperate as his hips still. “Fuck, Princess. So good.” He lazily kisses down your neck whispering sweet ‘I love yous’ and ‘You’re so perfect’. He wanted to revel in the moment, his cock was softening in your walls as his lips graze every inch of your skin. 

“I love you, Jaeyun.” He looks up at you with his big puppy eyes and all you can see is love held within them. You could cry. This is the man you’re going to spend the rest of your life with. You know it.

“I love you too, angel. So fucking much,” He kisses you deeply, “Let's never fight again.” Wrapping your arms around his shoulders you nod and continue to kiss him. “You’re it for me, Y/N.”

“Sim Jaeyun if you have a girl in here-” His dad barges in, ruining the moment between the both of you. Jaeyun jumps up and covers himself and you with a blanket. Mortified doesn’t even begin to describe how you feel. “Y/N? Is that you?” his dad questions trying to see your face which is hidden behind Jaeyun’s blanket.

“Hi, Mr.Sim” Your head pops up and shyly wave a hand. “How’s it going?” 

“Dad can you like, leave, please.” Jaeyun wants the world to swallow him whole. He has always been so careful not to get caught. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to tell his parents it was just that they would never let you stay over again if they knew he was fucking your brains out every time you stayed over. 

Mr. Sim runs a hand down his face and squeezes his eyes shut before wagging a finger between you and Jaeyun, “How long have you…how long has this been going on?”

“About two years.” Jaeyun shrugs and mumbles. He wasn’t going to say your 2 year anniversary was a pebble throwaway, he didn’t need specifics. “We’ve been dating for 2 years.”

“2 YEARS?” Mr. Sim’s eyes widened and his mouth slacked open. “2 years and you haven’t told us? You know we would never stop you from dating someone.” he scoffs, “2 fucking years and you didn’t tell us.” 

Your head is hanging low, Jaeyun notices your discomfort, he always does, and he reaches for your hand under the blanket and gives it a squeeze.

“Dad we didn’t mean to keep it a secret from you or mum. I’m sorry.”

“Me too, Mr. Sim.” You squeak out. 

“Don’t,” Jaeyun’s dad starts, “Don’t keep things like this from me again.” A smile crawls onto his face, “especially if it’s Y/N. You know she’s like the daughter I always wanted.” His eyes soften as he looks at you. 

You were so close to Jaeyun’s family after spending 3 years living between his house and yours. His parents knew your favourite foods, what made you tick, and how to cheer you up, they even invite you over on Christmas Eve for a pre-Christmas celebration. His family loved you, you were never scared of receiving their approval, deep down you knew you always had it. “Get some sleep. I’ll talk to your mum. And Y/N?” Your head shoots up, “Please tell your parents. I’m sure they’ll take it well.” He nods his head and leaves to go back to bed. 

Jaeyun turns to you and a roar of laughter erupts from him making you playfully smack his chest. “That was so embarrassing.” He wheezes. 

“I am never coming back here again.” You hide under his blanket, giggling. 

You spend the rest of the night cuddling Jaeyun, feeling complete bliss. When you woke up the next morning you received a text from your mum.

Mrs. Sim told me. Jake is NEVER allowed to sleep over again, do you hear me?

I’m happy for you both.

You smile and snuggle deeper into Jaeyun’s embrace. The sun lights up the room, landing perfectly on your boyfriend's face.

________

As your high school life was reaching its end you found yourself searching through college brochures and websites trying to find anything that sparked your interest. That was your problem, you weren’t interested in anything, not anything that you could make a career out of anyway. Jaeyun was what you were interested in if you had to be frank but considering he’s a broke almost 19-year-old you couldn’t exactly become his trophy wife, but god did you wish life was that easy sometimes? 

Jaeyun had applied for Apollo College situated in Busan. His dream was to become a mathematical physicist which has been his dream since he was like 10 years old. Honestly, his dedication and passion for the subject made you fall in love with him even more every time the boy would get so hyped when he spoke to you about it. Fair enough you found the subject so boring but something about the way he spoke about quantum theory or one of those old dudes that are plastered on his physics textbook made the subject come to life. He worked immensely hard to even get the grades to get into Apollo, and you couldn’t be more proud.

“What about applying for Apollo? They do some ND-level courses?” Jaeyun says as he scrolls through his phone. He has been trying to help you pick a college for over an hour in his bedroom. You both agreed Busan or somewhere close would be the best option since you both couldn’t imagine doing long distance. ‘It wouldn’t work, I would miss you too much.’ Jaeyun has pleaded when you were entertaining the idea of looking at some in Seoul.

“Babe I am not applying for a smarty pants college.” You laugh and reach for his face taking his glasses from his face. “Although,” You place the glasses on the bridge of your nose, “I would look good as a woman in STEM.” A smile creeps on your face as you seductively look over the frames of the glasses and see Jaeyun bite his lip. Never once has he uttered it out loud but he does have a thing for you in glasses, a fantasy of dressed in only them as he fucks you until they’re steaming up slithers into his mind more times than not.

“My girl looks good all the time, but STEM would make me want to wife you up right then and there.” Placing his phone down beside him he leans over until his face is mear centimeters from yours. 

You know what he was looking for, that face of lust painted so obviously and god did you want to give into him, he’s irresistible. But it had to wait and you unsubtly let him know by placing your pointer finger on the middle of his forehead and push him back. “Jaeyun, this is serious,” you say pouting looking back down to the laptop in front of you, “I need to find a college or else I’m gonna be stuck here in my parents’ house forever, and only see you like once a month or something.”

“Y/N, you’ll find something in Busan okay? And if not I’ll look somewhere else. My grades are good enough to get in anywhere.” It's a subtle brag but you know he’s right, he might be the smartest person you know in all fairness but that doesn’t mean he can just give up his dream school that he’s spent countless sleepless nights studying to get into. His effort to get into this school more than proved that him not going sounded like the most ridiculous thing in the world.

“I am not letting you drop your dream college because I’m too thick to even get into one measly college. It’s your dream I’m not letting you ruin your chances.” You half-joke before Jaeyun speaks up again. 

“You’re my dream, Y/N. I’ll follow you anywhere you want to go. I’d give up anything for you, you know that.” His serious expression makes you a little uncomfortable. Hearing him say he’d throw his aspirations for you hurt your heart and you didn’t know why. Maybe because you spent your relationship with him watching him work hard for opportunities to enhance his future and in a millisecond he would give it all up, and for someone like you? It seemed ludicrous.

“Jaeyun don’t say that,” discarding your laptop and shuffling towards him you put your hands on his shoulders and squeezed tightly, “I didn’t watch you need an IV drip from studying so hard just for you to throw it away.”

“I might not get in.” And you laugh, your hands loosening from his shoulders to cup his neck.

“You’re a shoe-in, baby.” A smile forms on Jaeyun’s lips at your encouragement. You always wondered why your boyfriend had such a hard time believing in his own abilities, if it was possible you wish he could see himself through your eyes, maybe then he’d understand how truly remarkable he is. “I’ll find a college, don’t worry.” Bopping his nose with yours you take the glasses off your face and place them on his nose. “Let's look at Yangsan-Si, it’s only 30 minutes away from Apollo. I think they have that independent college.”

Looking up at your laptop you feel Jaeyun’s puppy dog eyes on you and you turn around to see him still in the same position, “Babe? You okay?”

“I mean it, Y/N. Anything you want, I’ll do it. If colleges in Busan don’t work I’ll find somewhere else. Take up an apprenticeship or whatever.” 

“Jaeyun, it’ll be fine!” You try to lighten up the atmosphere but his face is stern and his body is tense. “What are you so scared of?” your voice is shallower than usual trying to read him but it seems impossible. 

“I don’t want you to leave me, and that’s what long-distance means right? We’ll keep up talking the first few weeks, then we’ll be too busy to talk every day so we Facetime for what? 30 minutes every weekend, then we just stop talking altogether and turn to texting because it’s easier. You’ll find someone less clingy, more handsome, he’ll be there to give you attention and we’ll break up. I can’t watch that happen.” 

Smiling sadly you try to hide the burning feeling in your chest as you watch Jaeyun’s mind scramble and come up with this whole plot point you didn’t even think was an option. Does he think about you both not working out often? You etch forward and take his hands. “Jaeyun,” you say waiting for him to look at you before you continue, his watery eyes slowly look up, “I will find a college near Busan. I will be right beside you for as long as you want me. And we will never break up okay? You don’t have to worry about it.”

Deep down you felt his concerns too. And with him saying all this, talking about how long distance wouldn’t work, it made you start to overthink with what ifs. But right now you had to convince Jaeyun everything would be fine, convincing yourself in the process. 

His nod lets you breathe a sigh of relief and kiss him lightly on his plumped lips. “I love you so much.” His words make you smile and kiss him a little longer this time.

“I love you too. Now come on and help me get into college. I need that big sexy brain of yours.” Jaeyun’s heaved-out laugh hits your ears and you both spend the night applying for random schools, easing his mind a little.

________

Rejection. Rejection. Rejection.

Opening the next email you sigh, another rejection, your 7th to be exact. It had been two months since you applied for colleges in Jaeyun’s bedroom and time was ticking. You had 5 weeks to get accepted at the earliest, thats when Jaeyun was set to move to Busan, when you were moving with him.

You could never forget the day he got the acceptance letter to Apollo. There was a rapid chap at your door causing your dad to whip the door open angrily, “Who the fuc- Oh, Jake. What’s the big rush?” Your dad calmed down as he saw Jaeyun and his cheesy grin on the other side of your front door.

“Is Y/N here? I need to see her.” His eyes shifted to the upstairs where he hoped you’d be.

“Go on up.” Your dad's head flicks back in the direction of your room. Without a second passing, Jaeyun is taking his shoes off and running up the stairs, missing a step each time. “Who is it?” your mum says to your dad as he laughs. “I think Jaeyun got into college.” Your parents were so proud. Jaeyun had opened your door in a flash and saw you at your desk studying for exams. He examined you; your hair tousled, baggy sweatpants, and the old football jersey he gave you after he won his first game of high school. “Beautiful,” he muttered loud enough to gain your attention.

“Jaeyun? What are you doing here? I thought I was meeting you later?” He strides over and extends his arms sharply, holding an envelope in his hands. The action made him look so young and innocent, like a toddler proudly handing their mum a drawing they did in the nursery. Gingerly you take the already torn envelope and withdraw a letter.

“Dear Mr. Sim,” you read out loud, “We have received an overwhelming amount of applications for the Mathematical Physics BSc Honours program. We are delighted to offer you a place…” You trail off, “Jaeyun, you got in?” Re-reading the letter you squeal and jump up to hug him, “This is amazing, baby. I’m so proud of you!” You exclaim. Genuine happiness is felt between the both of you and Jaeyun’s grip tightens around you. “You fucking did it.” You whisper as he pulls away. His face is brighter than you had ever seen, his future coming together like perfectly matched pieces in a puzzle. You envied him a lot in that moment.

Snapping out of your memory you mutter a ‘fuck’ as you lock your phone and make your way to class. Apparently, you weren’t good enough for Busan, or Yangsan-Si, or Gimhae. Nowhere wanted you. The prospect of not getting into college suddenly weighed down heavily on your shoulders. You had picked courses about things you enjoyed through school, or rather, got decent enough grades in but it wasn’t enough. There were two colleges left that you are impatiently awaiting replies from. One a mere 20 minutes away from Jaeyun and one 4 hours away on the outskirts of Pyeongchang. Obviously, you neglected to mention this choice but it was apparently the easiest one to get into and you didn’t really think every single other choice would reject you having confidence at least one would offer a conditional place. 

There is only one chance. 

Walking somberly into class you see Jaeyun wave you over, his chair turned from his desk to face his friends beside him. “Baby come here!” He shouts over to you gaining attention from the other people in your class. The thing about Jaeyun is that he wasn’t quiet about anything, especially your relationship to many of the girls in your class’ dismay. 

Smiling at him widely, your once dampened mood is now gone. He had a habit of being able to do that. You go to take the seat next to his friend Jay but before you can pull out the seat Jaeyun is pulling you onto his lap and circling his arms around your waist to situate you in a comfortable position. 

“You guys are disgusting.” Jay groaned but Jaeyun paid no mind to him, kissing the back of your shoulder and smiling, giddy at intimacy.

“It's a good thing you guys are going to college together, think my man here might die if he isn’t with you for more than 3 minutes.” Kai chimes in jokingly, slapping Jaeyun’s right shoulder lightly nearly hitting you in the process. That sinking feeling in your chest slowly bubbles its way back up. 

There is only one chance..

“Yeah, he wouldn’t last a day if you were long-distance.” Jay continued on to Heeseung’s statement.

There is only one chance. 

“As much as I love you all saying my relationship grosses you out,” You start to stand up and remove Jaeyun’s hands, “I need to pee before class starts.” Hiding your discomfort from the conversation you press your lips to Jaeyun’s, “I’ll be back in a minute.” His hand trails down your arm and squeezes your hand.

Quickly you walk out of class and head to the bathroom to compose yourself. It’s not that you don’t think long distance could work for you, it's that you know long distance won’t work for him. All the previous conversations swirled in your head mixed with your doubts. 

A ping echoes in the empty bathroom and scramble to unlock your phone. You view the notification as it reads Mail: Offer Update: Kyungsung University. Your heart is in your throat as you read the outcome.

Rejection.

There is no more chances. Shit. You’re gonna lose him. The mirror before you shows the shell of a girl who just lost everything she loves in the space of a minute. Eyes red, lips trembling, a sob escaping your throat, you were crushed. I’ll follow you anywhere you want to go. I’d give up anything for you. Those were his words a few months ago with the weight of his intent still heavy. He would give it all up for you and that was a hard burden to live with. 

Another ping comes from your phone and you squeeze your eyes shut to get rid of the tears that blurred your vision. Mail: Offer Update: Avanti College.

Your eyes widen quickly opening the email.

Dear Miss L/N,

We have received your application. With much consideration, we would be delighted to offer you a place at Avanti College for the studies of Film and Media. As you would be aware our school terms start earlier than others, thus, we have sent you a link to our module assigning system for you to quickly choose your classes. These are filling up and you should confirm these as soon as possible.

We look forward to seeing you next month.

Yours Sincerely,

Mr. Suh Kyung Min

Head of Recruitment. 

You smile brightly as you read the email over and over again. You got in. Granted, film studies was the only course at this college with spaces left, but if you weren’t thinking about that, you could learn to love it. It was also 4 hours away from Busan. 4 hours away from the love of your life. Your shoulders sink down and the smiles fades from your face. 

You had two choices; tell him you didn’t get into college and have him drop out of his dream university, ruin his future, all for you, or, don’t tell him and go to college, leave Jaeyun without an explanation so he doesn’t destroy everything he’s worked for. That would mean leaving your family and friends behind too because they would cave in and tell Jaeyun where you went. If you just left without a trace he would have no choice but to go and live his future the way he was supposed to. 

The second option feels right. There is no way you are going to be the one to leave Jaeyun’s future desolate, you couldn’t offer him a future better than the one he had already set out for him. So you just won’t tell him. Did his happiness and future mean more to you than your own? Absolutely. And fuck did that stab you in the heart. 

Looking back in the mirror your eyes are drooping, depressed, void of any happiness you register now you have another choice; make this the best few weeks with Jaeyun, or slowly break away to make the situation easier on you both. Deep down you knew even if you stayed away during this period he would find a way to see you, so you accepted it, giving your undivided attention to him just as you have all these years. Give him all the love you have.

3 weeks. You have 3 weeks before you’re away to live a completely new life. You have to remind yourself why you’re doing this, why you’re hurting yourself by leaving your only love. It was for him, all of it. 

_______

Two weeks until you leave for Pyeongchang and you’ve gotten good at concealing any hurt you feel. Jaeyun kept asking if you heard anything from colleges but you just shrugged and changed the topic. He was getting suspicious but you just kept reassuring him there was still a month left and most of the colleges you applied for were clearance so they tend to do it last minute. 

With exams over and school finally ending the only logical solution was for your year to host a party. A BIG party. Now you all could legally drink it just meant more alcohol being brought and because the chances of you seeing any of these people again is practically zero, you really wanted to let your hair down. You spent most of these days in worry and dread that you didn’t just want to get wasted, you needed it. 

Ryujin and Yeji were on their way to pick you and Jaeyun up from his house - Yeji got stuck on DD duty after losing rock, paper, scissors and she won’t shut up about how unfair it is. Jaeyun was already dressed in his blue double denim outfit accessorised with a graphic white t-shirt, some old silver chains hanging from his black D&G belt, rings that you’ve felt on your throat more than once displayed on his fingers and a pearl necklace he got as a gift from Heeseung. His hair was bouncy and parted the way he liked it, with his forehead showing. Jaeyun was the most gorgeous boy you had ever seen and every day you noticed something different. Walking out of your bathroom you notice how his shoulders have gotten slightly broader.

“Have you been going to the gym?” You question nonchalantly as you fix your earrings, staring at him while he scrolls through his phone. He shrugs and continues with his eyes fixated on the phone. You huff, waiting for your boyfriend to notice you and the clear effort you made in your outfit. The gold two-piece you bought left little to the imagination and you felt so powerful and sexy in it. 

Dragging your tongue over your front teeth you walk behind him and rub your delicate hands on his shoulders. “You’ve gotten bigger, width-wise.” You flirt.

“Dunno must be all the extra lifting at work. Shits heavy.” He mumbles, liking pictures on Instagram as if you aren’t there. Usually, you would be offended but you learned that sometimes Jaeyun is just a little dense when it comes to attention. So you take matters into your own hands.

One of your hands never leaves his shoulder as you circle to his front, one leg hiking over so you can straddle his lap, head tilted as you wait for him to look at you. Finally, but not nearly as quickly as you want, he looks at you, his mouth open as his eyes trail up and down your body, absentmindedly locking his phone and throwing it not caring where it landed. “Fuck.”

You nod and smile coyly, biting your lip. “Do I look good?” Your fingers dance up his chest and wrap around his neck as you shift your weight slightly until you’re sitting right on his clothed dick. 

“Shit, Princess you look fucking ethereal,” Jaeyun says as his hands rub your arms until they find their way to your waist, “Do we have to go? I don’t want anyone else to see you like this.” He laughs and kisses your lips, his eyes looking up at you with adoration.

“Yes!” you exclaim, “I wanna get drunk and dance.” You shuffle off his lap and pull his hand so he’s standing. Instinctively, his arms circle around your waist. “Plus you get to tell everyone this,” you point to yourself, “is all yours.” Your boyfriend's eyes roll but he bites his lip, probably the sexiest habit he does. 

“Baby don’t tempt me, I’ll go into that party and put on a show so they know who you belong to,” You moan as his hands grab your ass, and his eyebrow quirks. “Oh? Do you like that idea? So I should just bend you over in the middle of it and fu-” Swiftly you clamp a hand over his mouth and laugh.

“Shut up. You know what I mean.” Now it’s your turn to roll your eyes. “You’re so horny all the time.” He shrugs again and takes your hand that’s placed over his mouth, kissing your palm before he intertwines your fingers with his. “We better head down and say goodbye to your parents.” Sauntering away he pulls you back and kisses you deeply taking your breath away. 

Jaeyun groans as he tastes your cherry lip oil, the same taste he’s had the pleasure of devouring for 3 years. Desperately his hand grabs your waist and pulls you closer. He can’t get enough of you and honestly, he doesn’t think he ever will.

“Jaeyun,” you whisper against his lips but he simply keeps kissing you, his tongue invading your mouth when you speak only making him crave you more. “Baby, we need to go,”

“No,” He whines and picks you up, your legs wrapped around his waist, “can’t wait to punch guys in the face for looking at you too long.” his voice whispers in between kisses and you throw your head back laughing. 

As your actions expose your neck he places kisses all over, focusing on a spot just above your freckle, a gasp escapes your lip. Jaeyun is sucking and biting at the spot and you realise what he’s doing and your eyes fly open, “Jaeyun!” you warn him but he keeps going and it feels too good to stop.

Pulling away he examines his work and smirks. A hickey. A big red soon to be deep black and purple hickey starts to appear on the base of your neck. “There.” He kisses it once and then proceeds to look in your eyes innocently. “Everyone will know you’re mine.”

Rushing to the mirror you see the red mark and sigh, half annoyed half amused. “What are you? 13?” A rumbled laugh comes from behind you. 

“Just possessive. Can’t have another Sunghoon situation now can I.” Jaeyun jokes but it makes you wince. You try to forget that birthday night as much as possible. “I can’t lose you. Not for anything.” His sweet words turn over in the acid of your stomach. You think about what you’re going to do just two weeks from now and you feel sick. You have to tell him, but you can’t. This is what’s best.

Putting on a facade you smile and kiss him on the cheek and walk by him. “That won’t happen, babe.” 

A honk from outside diverts both of your attention and you scurry downstairs, eagerly awaiting the party that lies ahead. 

Arriving at the party it’s already in full swing, classes from all over the city have come to celebrate the end of an era. Looking around at the dim lights, strobe effects, and some people making out in the corner you wonder if you were actually in a club rather than someone’s house.

“Who’s house is this?” You ask no one but Yeji turns around. “Kobayashi Daigo. Was in your class for like 2 years.” She laughs and shakes her head. In her mind, she knew she shouldn’t be surprised you don’t know him considering you only ever spoke to Jaeyun or your friends.

“I’ll get you a drink, baby, come on.” Jaeyun whispers lowly and guides you towards the kitchen, his hands on either side of your hips. There was something about his big hands on your waist that made your whole being melt and just follow anything he said. 

When you get to the kitchen you see a bottle of Tequila Rose with your name on it and as you pick it up there is a strong hand taking it from you. “Princess, you want a double?” Jaeyun takes the bottle and starts to pour his own and eyes you as he awaits your answer. 

“Double.” You smile mischievously as you watch the liquid pour into the glass. The pink drink is brimming to the top of a tall shot glass as you lift it to your lips, your eyes never leaving Jaeyuns’. “Cheers.”

“Cheers, baby girl.” He slams the shot on the worktop and then downs it, his Adam’s apple bobbing harshly as he swallows the soft shot. You can’t take your eyes off him as you swallow your drink.

“You’re so hot.” You murmur still looking into his eyes and he chuckles at your statement, pouring another shot.

“To us, to Busan, to forever.” He cheers and takes the shot of happiness, while you chug the shot down and it suddenly tastes bitter. You need about 15 of them to forget the man in front of you is the one you’re leaving. 

Suddenly it’s 3 hours later and you’re drunk, still aware, but are one drink away from hanxiety the next day. “Love, dance with me.” Jaeyun licks your ear and leads you to the middle of the living room which serves tonight as a dance floor. Pressing your body against his you start to dance to whatever pop song seems to be playing in the background, your hips swaying against him, your arse pressed to his groin and one hand reaching to the back of his head, the feeling of pure bliss overtaking you. 

You can feel his cock growing hard beneath you as you grind into him. You look up to him but his eyes are fixated on someone else at the other end of the room. Sunghoon. Internally you cringe thinking about what happened last time, and honestly, the black-haired boy has been nothing but respectful towards you after your birthday, but that doesn’t mean Jaeyun doesn’t feel his shoulders go rigid as he sees the attractive guy’s stare burn into you. Sunghoon's crush on you never left and Jaeyun was all too aware. He had to show Sunghoon you were his girl, so, Jaeyun’s hand slid down the front of you, his middle and forefinger dancing over your skin. “Jaeyun, what are you doing?”

No answer. But as his eyes fixate on the boys across from you, he smirks and slinks his fingers up your skirt, bypassing your underwear. A gasp suddenly leaves your lips as his fingertips ghost over your clit. “Jae…there are people around, let's go somewhere- '' A hard press to your core stops your sentence and you lose all sense of yourself, Jaeyun’s thumb now rubbing your nub. The music surrounding you is suddenly muted, and the air is too hot as two of his fingers invade your entrance hitting the spot that has your legs shaking. Jaeyun smirks as you try to hold your groan in, his eyes on a furious Sunghoon. It had been over a year but Jaeyun still liked to rub it into dear Sunghoon that he got the girl. “I’m serious, Jaeyun.” you whisper but his fingers only increase the pace, kissing your neck softly, tracing over his previous mark on occasion.

“You want me to stop, baby?” His voice is hoarse and mocking, and all you can let out is a moan, tossing your head back onto his shoulder, not caring if the whole party sees him touching you. His fingers move faster and with more urgency as he feels you clench around him. “Good girl.” thankfully the lights were so low and everyone was beyond obliterated due to the overconsumption of alcohol that no one was noticing, well, everyone but Sunghoon. “Come for me, Princess, show them it’s me that makes you feel this good.” His lips trace your ear as he picks up the pace, eager to get you off. His eyes are not leaving Sunghoons’. Your high comes crashing over you as his fingers hit your sweet spot and thumb traces your clit harshly, it takes every part of you not to moan like a common porn star. Sunghoon awkwardly coughs at the sight and turns away embarrassed and absolutely livid. 

You however are riding out your climax on your boyfriend’s fingers. “Fuck, Jaeyun.” you breathe out and he chuckles behind your ear, turning you around to face him.

“Good?”

“Fantastic.” You laugh until he sticks his fingers into your mouth, letting you taste your own release and you whimper, lapping his digits with your tongue. “So beautiful.” He whispers watching you.

This party was exactly what you needed.

________

Two days until you leave. There is an aching in your chest as you attend your job for the last time. It was a shitty convenience store job but you loved it deep down. The regulars, your boss, the people you worked with. You won’t miss the bright blue uniform though. You remember the day you told Jaeyun you got the job and he acted like you became the CEO of some high-end company. ‘My beautiful hard-working girl, I can’t even begin to describe the pride in my heart’ the memory of him picking you up and kissing you all over floods every inch of your body. The way he kissed you and the way his eyes sparkled as they bore into yours, that grin that was plastered on his face as he suggested congratulatory sex - he would use any excuse.

“Hey, sweetheart.” Jaeyun comes behind you wrapping his arms around you and his lips kissing your neck softly. You sink into him, his usual citrus with a woody undertone engulfs your senses. Biting your lip you try not to get caught up in this feeling. “Miss me?”

“Jaeyun I’m working,” Turning around you look into his big, shimmering eyes and suddenly regret everything you’ve been doing. To him, to yourself. He simply smiles and kisses you lovingly, one long everlasting kiss followed by small pecks, feeling his smile with each one. 

“You get off soon, just bail.” His plump pink lips trail down your jaw and land back on your neck. It's hard not to give in to him. 

“Baby, let me finish.” You pout and try to focus on stacking the shelves of the local mart. 

Jaeyun’s hands grip your hips harder leaning in to whisper in your ear, “I can make you finish if you want.” His teeth nip at your earlobe and you feel his smirk appearing. This boy will be the death of you. Jaeyun revels in the effect he has on you as he can almost hear your heart beating through your chest. He thinks only soulmates can notice minute things like that.

“I will attend to your every need when my shift is over, but for the next 20 minutes these cans of butter beans have my full attention.” He laughs and kisses you. 

“Butter beans…I love it when you talk dirty.” You slap his chest lightly and laugh. You’ll miss this. Maybe you should just tell him, to change your plans. You could find work in Busan surely. One look at him and you’d drop everything for him, hell, you were even planning to skip the end of your shift just so he could fuck you in his car. You needed him. That was the problem. You needed him, relied on him. 

Pushing the thoughts to the back of your mind you smile up at your puppy boyfriend and wrap your arms around his neck, “Sim Jaeyun you are the most infuriating person I have ever met.” 

The sun creeps in the shop windows and lights up his face as he smiles and pecks your lips. 

“You love me though.” He declares proudly, his teeth showing as he beams widely. 

“So much.” Too much. 

“Good, then hurry up and get this shift out the way so I can have you all to myself.” With that he kisses you, biting your bottom lip as he pulls away. Jaeyun finds you irresistable whenever he sees you and his heart bursts with pride that you are his. “I have a surprise for you.” His eyebrows raise cheekily as he bites his lip and he leaves the store in a hurry. He goes to double-check he has everything he needs.

While you were at work you had no idea Jaeyun was planning anything. 

Jaeyun phones Heeseung to check in and make sure everything is set up. Heesung doesn’t appreciate the interrogation considering the plan was actually his idea but he lets his best friend away with it considering this was a big deal for him.

“Yes Jake everything is set up, i followed your strict to-the-point plan exactly as.” Heeseung rolled his eyes affectionately over the phone. He loved Jaeyun so much, being the only one of his friends that left for college early was hard, but he came back when he could and he would be damned if he missed this.

“Thanks, mate. I owe you one. And the r-”

“In the glove compartment. I told you, everything is sorted.” Jaeyun exhales and checks the glove compartment to see the white box. It's prettily decorated in a pink bow with the edges dusted in silver glitter, “She’ll love it. You know she loves everything if it's got something to do with you.” Heeseung’s voice blares through the phone with endearment.

If there was one supporter of you and Jaeyun it was Heeseung. Every day he had to hear about you through Jaeyun, he felt like he was part of the relationship with you. He had to sit through Jaeyun describing every outfit you wore, every time you changed your perfume, and every new song you recommended because it reminded you of him, Heeseung has been through it all. "Jake, stop overthinking it, you guys are meant to be and if it doesn't then I don't believe in love" he laughs through the phone and Jaeyun joins him. It isn't a question in his mind if you're going to be with him forever, it's a fact.

"Shit, she's coming. Thanks again, mate." Jaeyun hangs up quickly, hiding the box in the pocket of his car door. You've changed into your usual jeans and t-shirt and to Jaeyun you look like the most beautiful being to ever roam the earth. "Hey, my love." 

"I wish you would have told me we were doing something, I would have brought nicer clothes with me." 

"You say that like aphrodite doesn't worship the ground you walk on even in jeans." Jaeyun passes off the comment nonchalantly but your heart flips within your chest. He had a way with words that no late teen should have the possession to have. Beautiful and gorgeous weren’t good enough adjectives for him to describe you, he always had to go a step further because to him you were worth more than compliments that are used on pets and under celebrities' Instagram posts. Even if he couldn’t fathom the right words to describe you he was still going to try his hardest to make you feel like the most exquisite human in the world.

As you buckle your seatbelt, face still flushed, you hear Jaeyun fiddling with the music. His car was a shitty little black 1998 honda civic he got for pennies from an uncle looking to make a quick quid. It was so old it didn’t have an aux but rather was graced with a cassette player. Jaeyun didn’t mind because it meant he could make cute mixtapes like in the old 2000s movies. One he even made for your road trip you took during Christmas break filled with all the songs that reminded him of you, most of them being love songs with the one accidental Hotel Room Service by Pitbull in there because he couldn’t figure out how to get it off. It soon became your song. 

“I think I’ve made the best mixtape of all time,” Jaeyun gloats as he wags the cassette tape between his fingers before slotting it in, “you will love it.” Jaeyun spent the good part of yesterday perfecting each song that went on it and always with you in mind. The first song that blared was ‘Love is All Around’ by Wetter. 

“My favourite song.” you mutter and look at him adoringly, noticing the smile creep onto his face clearly proud of himself. His hand clasps yours as he brings it to his lips and kisses it gently. 

“It’s slowly becoming my favourite too.” He turns to face you with love glazed over his eyes. You could cry right there. No one will ever love you as much as Jaeyun does. “You know they’re playing a show in Busan in the fall. If you want I’ll grab us tickets since we’ll be up there anyway.” His head turns to pay attention to the road, his hands not leaving yours as he moves the gear stick. Sickness submerges you and the colour rushes from your face. God, why are you doing this? This is so silly just tell him.

“Jaeyun I-”

“I’ll buy the tickets next pay. They’ve had tickets sat there for a while so I don’t think they’ll sell out within the two weeks.” He interrupts and in a way you’re thankful. Swallowing the lump in your throat you thank him and turn to look out the window, your hand still snug in his. Jaeyun notices how you’ve clammed up but he leaves it for now. He knows when to ask you if anything is wrong and it is not right now. 

The whole car journey takes about 32 minutes and Jaeyun held your hand and squeezed it intermittently for 31 of those minutes, that 1 other minute he used to take a few gulps of water. His mouth was dry from the anticipation, of going over everything he had planned in his head. It had to be perfect, you didn’t deserve anything less. 

“We’re here, Princess.” Jaeyun’s voice and the car coming to a stop pull you out of your thoughts and you smile softly at him. He puts a finger up indicating for you to wait as he gets out of the car and rushes round to your side to open the door, “Right this way.” One hand opened the door and the other elongated to point towards the grassy hill. Nothing was worse to you than walking up a hill but you’ll let it slide this once since your boyfriend has put so much effort into whatever this is.

Side-eyeing him you get out of the car trying not to fall which in your case happens far more often than you would like to admit, “Making me walk after a 6-hour shift should be criminal.” You say as a pout forms on your lips.

Jaeyun’s face however is beaming, “Ah see I knew you would complain about that,” He starts, “I’m going to carry you.” He kneels down in front of you with his back in your sight, “Hop on, baby.”

“You cannot be serious? Babe, you can’t possibly carry me up there.” His head turns and eyebrows furrowed as he stares at you with a look of confusion.

“Does my girlfriend not have any faith in her very strong and capable boyfriend?” One of his eyebrows raises as he scoffs seeing the look of disbelief written on your face. “Trust me,” he pats his back, “get on and have some faith in your man.” 

A genuine laugh erupts from you and you oblige with his instruction. Straddling his back you hook your legs around his waist as he hoists you up almost effortlessly, “Have you been working out?” you ask curiously. Lifting one arm and posing with it he says, “Babygirl I’ve been packing these guns since I was a kid, John Cena is jealous.” Placing your head on his shoulder you laugh and the sound fills his ears like music from angels. Jaeyun kisses your cheeks and points forward, “To the top!”

“To the top!” You mimic him and he goes forth. 

When you reach the top surprisingly with no stops, Jaeyun sets you down gently and you can see his arm veins popping from the tension of holding you up. They’re delicious and it’s the one thing you’ve never been able to get over about your boyfriend and he knows it. In school he’ll roll up his sleeves when he has the same class as you because he knows you’ll be staring, practically drooling over them. One time before coming over to yours he made sure they were protrusive, clenching and unclenching his fists and he was happy with the results of his endeavours, the night ending with you riding his fingers, gripping onto his arms desperate to feel his veins under your touch.

“Baby?” Jaeyun bends forward, his head tilted looking up at you, “you in there?” his hand waving in front of your face snaps you out of your memories as you smile and say a simple “Hmm?”

“I said ta-da!” He exclaims, hopping in his place and outstretching his arms. You follow his gesture and see fairy lights wrapped, or more so tangled, around two trees which illuminate the picnic blanket underneath, two baskets are situated on either side and a bouquet of flowers lies in the middle. You follow the trail of rose petals that lead up to the beautiful scene in front of you. No words can escape your mouth and Jaeyun starts to get nervous, rubbing the back of his neck and letting out a half laugh, half huff. “I know it’s cheesy and cliche but I remember you reading about it in one of your books and saying you loved the idea of a midnight picnic. I know it’s not midnight but-”

The touch of your lips on his cuts off his rambling explanation. Jaeyun’s hands settle upon your waist as he kisses you back sentimentally and with relief washing over his body. You liked it and that’s all that matters.

“Come on,” he pulls away and gives you his hand to take leading you up the petalled scattered path and you don’t take your eyes off him. Your heart is so full and it is breaking all at the same time, “I got you all your favourites; kimchi pancakes, tteokbokki,  some chicken and spinach samosas,” he continues listing everything he has prepared but you’re too infatuated by the boy who stand before you, his dark hair shorter than when you first met, the side parting of his bangs framing his matured face, those delectable lips that gave you so much pleasure over the years and whispers sweet nothings into your ears any chance he could. Your eyes travel down to his blue and white striped Ralf Lauren polo-necked jumper, he looked so beautiful, so unreal. He was yours, at least for now. 

“I love you, Jaeyun.” You blurt out not even meaning to, just pure raw emotion taking over your body. 

Jaeyun has heard you say it a thousand times but it doesn’t stop the hairs standing on his neck and the crimson flush kissing the tip of his cheeks. He noted the undertone was a little different this time, not like you didn’t mean it every time but that this confession was more purposeful than the others. He takes your hips into his hands and looks down at you. “I love you too, Y/N. So fucking much.” His heart swells so big he thinks it might rupture. The next kiss he gives you has you tearing up. It’s so amatory yet pure, he truly loves you and harbours deep feelings not even psychologists could explain, it was more than consummate love, it’s nothing that can be theorised and dissected. It's yours and it's his. And in 2 days you were giving it up. After pulling you down on the blanket Jaeyun starts to unpack the picnic baskets. The smell invades your nostrils and your mouth waters. Everything looks so good. 

Jaeyun notices the hearts in your eyes as you stare at the food. He has to thank Jay for cooking it all when he sees him next. His chopsticks pick up the tteokbokki and hover it in front of you, “Here, take a bite, baby girl.” and you wrap your mouth around the delectable food you know he didn’t make. Jaeyun couldn’t so much as cook a simple lasagne without burning it and setting off the fire alarm. Suddenly a laugh leaves your mouth and your boyfriend cocks his head, “What’s so funny?” Waving your hand dismissively in front of him. The image of him wafting a green and yellow dishtowel under the alarm to clear the smoke is imprinted in your brain. It was the first time he cooked for you, your 100-day anniversary dinner turned into his dad airing out the kitchen and giving a long lecture about how Jake needed life skills. “It’s nothing, I’m just happy.” you say honestly. You were so happy here with him.

He hums and you continue like this, eating and laughing under the twinkling lights. As the food diminishes his heartbeat gets louder, more rampant. The reason for this grand spectacle of a date finally showing its head. “Um, Y/N?” His voice is nervous and you put down your plate giving him your undivided attention. 

“Yeah?” Noticing the sweat start to collect on his forehead you start to get worried. Did he know? Was he about to confess that he knew your plan all along and he actually did all this to convince you to stay? Is he giving up everything for you? Or is it simply too warm on this May evening?

“Hoo okay so,” He starts and turns his whole body to face you, taking your smaller hands in his shaking ones. “I love you, so much, and uh, okay um,” Jaeyun had planned this whole speech with Heeseung playing you in the scenario, the elder threatening to put on a wig and some eyeliner, “I need to get into character!” he had proclaimed. 

Even after all this preparation he still wasn’t sure what to say to you, he forgot all his words as he looked at your golden hour-kissed face that was staring back at him. 

He inhales deeply and calms himself pushing out the air slowly. “I love you, and I have ever since that first day at school.” His eyes flicker down to the necklace he got you for your birthday and then meet your eyes once more, "you took the breath from my lungs and to be honest, every time I look at you I still forget how to breathe. I don't know if there is such a thing as soulmates or twin flames or even matches made in heaven but baby you're all of them to me. I curse the stars every night because they get admired for being so beautiful yet you're the brightest one in the universe, you're my sun, my moon, and all the stars. You deserve all the admiration they get and if I can spend the rest of my life looking at you and studying you like I'm some astronomer then I know I've lived my life well."

A pause, two hearts beating rapidly, enough love shared between you both it could probably initiate world peace. 

Jaeyun takes out the box from his pocket and gives it to you. His hands are shaking violently. "I want you to know I'm so serious about us, Y/N." Taking the box from his hands it's now your turn to shake. "Open it." he huffs out, head dizzy.

Peeling off the baby pink bow and lifting the lid you see two rings and two keys. The rings are small, and silver, and there is a mid-sized heart on it which contrasts the thin band. Glancing up Jaeyun scoots forward and takes the left ring out, "Before you freak out I'm not proposing," a half-hearted laugh leaves his mouth as he takes the ring between his thumb and his pointer finger, never taking his eyes off it, "This is my promise to you that from now until forever, I am yours. A pinky ring," he takes your left pinky and slides it on slowly, "until I can get you a wedding ring."

Tears are streaming down your face as you laugh at the adjusted lyrics he's managed to embed in his speech. The ring fits so perfectly on you. Jaeyun had them handmade and saved up every bit of his wages to get them. They were simple because at the end of the day, he's still only shy of 19 and hasn't exactly got cash streaming in but for you, it's more than enough. Enough to show his undying and devoted love to you. 

"And this," he picks up one of the keys, "is the key to our flat in Busan. I know we should be living in dorms but I struck a really good deal with a sweet landlady. Don't think I could go a day in this life without seeing you, and if we live together then I'll see you all the time." Jaeyun smiles sheepishly looking at the key as he places it in your now ring-cladded hand.

Don't think I could go a day in this life without seeing you.

The tears streaming down your face once ones of happiness are now overbearing with sadness. You were letting this almost too-perfect boy go, all for the fear of losing him in the long run. It didn't make sense but it was too late. Your mind made itself up. It was easier to leave him now and cut ties than watch him break away from you piece by piece. Surely that hurts more.

Fixing your gaze on the key you sob and Jaeyun starts to panic, "Baby listen if it’s all too fast we ca-" 

You forget how many times since you've been dating that you interrupt him just to kiss him but here you are for the nth time. You're cupping his neck as your thumbs situate themselves on his cheeks and he feels the cold ring against his skin, a small smile appearing. 

Your hands find their way to his shoulders and massage them lightly. Jaeyun doesn’t beg for any reassurance because in his mind this is enough. Your kisses and touch are enough of a yes for him. 

Jaeyun suddenly picks you up and carries you back down to the car. “I need to make love to you so bad but it won't be in a car.” His voice is disappointed but you knew Jaeyun wasn’t a big fan of fucking in the car. You’ve done it twice before but to him it didn't give him the space he needed to 'do you right'.

The car journey is filled with silent but desperate touches. Jaeyun is speeding to his home recklessly, all he is thinking about is you. He glances at the pinky ring and smiles; you are his, and he is undoubtedly yours. 

As he parks in his garage and you both make your way up the stairs you feel him pawing at you desperately. Jaeyun pushes you into his room, his lips on yours messily and needing. 

“Princess,” He groans as he feels your hand press against his groin, “you’re dangerous.” 

You laugh, the last genuine one you’ll let out for a while you think. This will be your last time with Jaeyun, you decided on the way to his home.

His hands grab the collar of his t-shirt and yank it off in a smooth motion, leaving his bare chest in your eye line, the hickeys you gave him last week faded but still scattered. Quickly, he bends slightly, gripping your ass tightly and picking you, his lips all over your face. He lets a quiet ‘so beautiful’ escape his mouth. 

“Jaeyun, fuck I need you.” He nods into your neck, gently putting you on the bed, his chest not leaving yours as he feels up and down your body. 

“I know, Princess, you’re gonna be a good girl, and wait though, yeah?” The arrogance in his voice just turns you on more, declaring that you’re his good girl in a huffed-out moan that gets him out of his trousers in record time. The button of your jeans is undone and he tugs them and your underwear off, leaving you bare. “All mine.” he whispers to himself as he kisses up the inner of your left thigh, lingering longer the closer he gets to your center. 

It’s so wet, desperate for his touch it’s like it’s crying for him. “You’re so wet baby, don’t even think I need to prep you.” He presses a butterfly kiss to your clit teasingly and you rapidly shake your head.

“No, Yunie, please.” You slip out the nickname that only seems to come out when your brain is so fogged in want that you can’t even say his name in full. His breath hits your sensitive spot when he chuckles at how desperate you are. 

His hands crawl up to the top of your thighs to hold them down and open as he nibbles gently at the sensitive skin of your inner thigh. Your hips push up, seeking his mouth where you need it most. Jaeyun presses soft warm kisses across your core before tracing his tongue slowly upwards. 

Your hands find their way to his hair, gripping harshly as you plead for more. Being the perfect boyfriend he is he complies, groaning softly as he feels your desperation in your fingers tugging his hair. “Tell me what you want, love. Tell me what you need.” His voice is low and husky, his tongue working you faster awaiting further instructions. 

“F-fingers. I want your fingers.” All sense of shame leaves your body every time he fucks you, not caring if you sound needy. 

His tongue slides over your clit, hearing your plea, then gently moves his right fourth and middle fingers up to your heat, circling your entrance. “These fingers?” His mocking tone causes you to groan in aggravation, just yearning for him to do it. He swiftly pushes them inside you, opening you up. He watches for your reactions to make sure it’s pleasant for you and by your open mouth and head thrown back, he’s okay to continue. They hook into you and move back and forth in a smooth and sensual rhythm, touching you the way you like it.

Feeling your walls contract he knows you’re close to the edge, “Gonna cum on my fingers baby? So soon?” He inserts another finger which only adds to the pleasure running through your veins, the stretch feels magical. 

You’re a moaning mess as he finds your sweet spot, thrusting harshly as he works it. “Let it all out, Princess. Show me how I’m making you feel.” His voice alone could send you tipping over, but it’s his tongue flicking your clit and sucking it that had you screaming his name loud enough for the whole house to hear. He doesn’t stop you, loving the sound of his name falling from your lips. “That’s it, angel, doing so good for me.” The three fingers continue inside you, helping you ride out your orgasm. 

Panting, you get up on your elbows and look down at him, his mouth glistening with your release. You stare at him a bit longer, mentally capturing the image and keeping it locked away for a day until you need it again. On a day he isn’t with you. Any day after tomorrow.

“You’re so hot when you cum like that. Like I’m the only one that can do that.” Jaeyun mumbles against your skin as he kisses from your thigh to your stomach. His mouth feels the vibration as you laugh and he looks up, puzzled.

“Jaeyun, you’re the only person I’ve had sex with, of course you’re the only one that can do that.” He looks down at your stomach and laughs with you. Before the next sentence makes you feel like you’re stomach is in knots.

“And I’ll always be the only one, until the day we die, you’re mine forever, Y/N.” It’s innocent on his part but you feel sick as his kisses return to your abdomen. He won't be the only one you touch and you won't be the only one to touch him. “You’re thinking about something,” He doesn’t look at you but lays kisses on your chest and neck until his eyes find yours, “Tell me.”

His iris’ bore into yours and you push down whatever thoughts you have, determined not to ruin your last night with him. “Just that I want you to fuck me.” The back of your hand strokes his cheek and a flip switches inside him that went from concern to lust. 

Grabbing a condom from your drawer he slips it on with earnestness. 

The head of his cock is suddenly at your pussy, sliding up and down. He slaps it a few times against your clit, his signature move and you can’t get enough of it. “Say please and I’ll think about it.” There he was, typical Jaeyun, but you knew he was just as needy as you were at this point.. As you let out a whispered ‘please’ he kisses you, his tip penetrating, “Good girl.”

A deep breath leaves him as your walls squeeze him. He’s slow and teasing, filling you up slowly at first until he can’t hold himself back and his thrusts become more urgent, determined to make you feel good. Your combined moans echo around the room as you both lose yourself in the moment of the intense act. 

Jaeyun’s left hand finds yours, clasping tightly as he fucks you hard. A loving smile plasters over his face when he looks down at your joined hands and feels your matching pinky rings sit next to each other, his love for you so evident, so pure, even in this lustful moment. His heart is filling with adoration for letting him be yours. Bringing your hand to his face he kisses your pinky tenderly. 

Your body is so overcome with love and emotion that you start to cry, crying over the love you have for him, the love you’ll lose. 

“Hey,” His voice a whisper as he stills in you, “Princess, are you okay? Did I hurt you?” The concern in his voice drifts through our ears and you move your head from side to side. 

“No baby,” He hasn’t hurt you, but you’re going to hurt him and it makes you cry harder. “I love you so much.” You sob and laugh knowing how ridiculous this looks on the surface. Jaeyun smiles adoringly at you, the hand that once held yours now wiping your tears away.

His lips kiss the apples of your cheeks to clean the last bit of wetness and sighs, “You had me worried, sweatheart.” He brushes your hair off your face and says, “I love you too. Till my last dying breath.” A sob leaves you again but Jaeyun’s soft thrusts bring you back. 

As his hips find the perfect rhythm again your worries leave you for the time being and focus on how good he is making you feel. “S-so good.” 

“Yeah?” The cocky face he has falls into a pleasured one as your cunt squeezes him tight, “Jesus fuck, Y/N, take me so well. Love you so much.” The way the raw emotion is pouring out of him you beg yourself to do something reckless.

“The c-condom.” You say breathlessly and he slows down, one of Jaeyun's eyes opens

 as he comes out of his aroused daze and mutters a ‘huh?’, “The condom, take it off.” His eyes shoot open and he stops again to your annoyance.

He re-adjusts himself, his hands placed at each side of your head. “I don’t think I heard you right.” Jaeyun was always cautious, always careful. Not once, despite his sometimes desperate need, has he ever fucked you without a condom. “You want me to fuck you without it?”

“I need to feel you.” His cock sits half in you making it easy when you slip off him, “I want to feel it all.” He leans in with his forehead against yours, his breathing ragged and his chest moving fast. “Please.”

Running a hand through his hair now perched on his knees above you he thinks about it. “You’re still taking the birth control?” He sees you nod and point to your desk where you keep all your medication. “Every day.”

He huffs and mutters, thinking about what consequences could come from this. 

“Fuck it.” 

You smile at him, grateful. If this was going to be the last time you had him, you needed to have him completely without barriers. He peels off the wet condom and throws it in the bin beside your desk before crawling forward back on top of you. “You sure?” Nodding you wait for him but he doesn’t move, “Use your words, Princess.” His hand holds your cheek as he awaits your verbal permission.

“I’m sure, Jaeyun. Fuck me.” It’s almost like the first time you had sex with him when you lost yourselves to each other, a new experience to share. Another first.

After your confirmation, he slowly enters you again and Jaeyun wishes he had done this sooner, feeling every bump of your walls cuddle his cock overwhelms him and he lets out a low groan, almost collapsing on top of you and cumming right there and then. 

You match his experience, feeling pleasure like never before. “Jaeyun…” You slip your hand down to circle your clit but he slaps it away, “Nu-uh, mine.” His possessive tone and his raw cock have you convulsing around him, two seconds from bliss. His middle finger rubs up side to side on your hard sensitive nub, exactly what you were going to do but better, and you cum for the second time, but this wave so hard that the breath is knocked from your lungs. 

Jaeyun doesn’t let up, feeling your raw pussy cumming around him only has him striving for release, the sooner the better. If he doesn’t cum soon he might get addicted and never let his dick have a rest. “That’s it, baby. So fucking beautiful when you cum on my dick like that.” His thrusts get sharper, more determined, and focused as his head falls back, “You’re so fucking perfect. Made for me, only me.” You cry out as he continues to rub your clit and pound into you, he’s overstimulating you but you don’t care, you need it. 

“Cum inside me baby, fill me up, please, please.” You grab his face and stare into his beautiful big eyes and he cums. So deep. So beautiful. You feel every drop coat your walls, giving you the feeling of utter bliss. His mewl is loud and his hips stutter inside you, continuing to spurt his seed like an ever-going fountain, he doesn’t think he’ll ever stop. 

“Fuck, Princess. Pussy is taking it so well.” Jaeyun’s kiss is welcomed on your lips as you smile, aware of the cum leaking past his cock inside you and onto the sheets. 

As you both regain composure and your eyes meet you both laugh loudly, his body weight falling on top of you. “You’re fucking incredible.” He kisses along your breasts for a while before easing his cock out of you, the sight of his white cum dripping from you almost makes him hard again. He is so pathetically in love with you, and this just made him wish the ring he gave you was an engagement one.

His hands reach out for yours as he stands up, “Come on, Princess, let me get you cleaned up.” You take his hand gladly but he abruptly lifts you bridal style and stares at you, “I’m so happy you’re mine.”

_____

The next morning you wake up with your boyfriend's naked body draped over you, his ring shining in the sunlight. This is it. You had one more day with him but after last night you couldn’t risk another second with him. Every inch of your body is saying your reasoning doesn’t make sense. If you were so in love you could make long-distance work. But you had made your bed so now it was time to wallow in it. 

Busan will have lots of pretty girls, far more spectacular and interesting than you will ever be. He’ll be fine. Deep down you know this will hurt him but Jaeyun is strong, he’ll get over it. 

Getting dressed quietly and stealing glances at his sleeping figure you hold in tears. You’re so stupid for this. You’re leaving the love of your life because you’re scared of losing him. 

Silently, you slip the ring off your pinky finger and place it on his dresser. The thought of leaving a note crosses your mind but as your boyfriend stirs you realise there is no time for that. You need to leave while you can.

As you sneak out the front door, the sun is shining but there is a bone-chilling breeze that cuts through you, you know it’s going to pour down later. Your phone vibrates with an email from your college. During the night you emailed to ask if your accommodation would be ready earlier and you presume this is the reply.

Mail: From: Avanti College RE: Housing Enquiry.

Dear Y/N L/N,

I am responding to your inquiry regarding accommodation. The room is available as of today, however, there is no concierge available to give you your keys. Your assigned roommate has been made aware of your occupancy and is expecting you today and will let you in. Please collect your accommodation key on the date previously arranged.

Kind Regards,

Cho Min Woo

Head of Accommodation and Living.

You let out a breath you never even realised you were holding. It’s now you against the world and a roommate you don’t know whether hates you for intruding early or couldn’t give two shits. Making your way home you start to run, you need to grab your bag, book a bus, and go. No looking back and definitely no overthinking. 

Thankfully you took the liberty of packing earlier in the week so you could make a mad dash out the door if needed but you still had to let someone know where you were going. The last thing you needed was your face being posted all over socials on missing persons blogs, they didn’t need to think you were dead. So when you enter your bedroom you grab a pen and pad that are sitting on your desk and scribble a note to your mum and dad. You don’t go into detail, just the basics saying you need a fresh start in a new city. You contemplate whether to include the college but they’d just drive up and drag you home, or worse, tell Jaeyun. 

As you sign the note with your name you’re holding your breath and tears. No more seeing this room, or your parents, or Ryujin, or Jaeyun. You fucked up so bad but you need to see this through. For your future. If you give up on your plan now you really don’t have a future and you’re stuck here, and to you, that is scarier.

_______

Incoming Call: My Love &lt;3

Missed Call (67) My Love &lt;3

Missed Call (34) Dad

Missed Call (23) Mum

You sigh and turn your music up. The bus is fully loaded as you managed to book one of the only two coaches leaving for Pyeongchang. Your hands are shaking as you click on the messages sent by Jaeyun.

07:30 am Princess, where are you? 

07:30 am Are you coming back to bed? xx

07:49 am Y/N I’m getting worried

07:52 am Pick up your phone baby please talk to me

07:52 am If I pushed you too far yesterday I’m sorry…

08:16 am Why are your parents saying you’ve left?

08:16 am Baby don’t do this

08:17 am What does your letter mean ‘I need a fresh start from everyone and everything’

08:17 am You aren’t leaving, right? You’re not leaving me, are you?

08:23 am Please please please

The messages continue down the same route until the very last few sent only minutes ago.

10:32 am I will search every part of this country until I find you

10:32 am You can’t expect me to just forget about you? Will you please answer your fucking phone?

10:34 am Y/N…I can’t make you answer me, or love me, but just know I love you and I’m sorry for whatever I did. I’m leaving for Busan in two weeks. Come home then and you won’t hear from me again. Don’t leave your parents like this baby they can’t lose you.

10:34 am I can’t lose you but if it's what you want…I’ll go.

A new message pops up on the phone from Jaeyun as your eyes are blurred with tears.

10:41 am: I love you, I won’t ever stop. My heart is yours, always. Until the sun stops shining.

You let out a sob so loud the whole bus turns to you. Putting a hand over your mouth you bow in apology and proceed to block everyone’s number, when you get to Pyeongchang you’ll get a new phone.

________

Jaeyun’s heart hasn’t stopped breaking since you left. He thought you were happy about your future together, all for you to have planned a whole other life without him. It hurts. Physically and emotionally he doesn’t have the courage to do anything but try and understand you. 

Did he read you wrong? Did he force this foreseeable life on you? Did you just not want him? It’s impossible for him to comprehend and it’s driving him crazy.

As he pulls up back to his house he sees Heeseung’s car in the driveway. He can’t deal with this right now. He loved Heeseung of course but he just wanted to go home and try and think through everything that had happened this morning. Sighing, Jaeyun makes his way up the stairs, ignoring his parent’s questions of ‘Where have you been?’

“Jake my man! Tell me how it went, you went radio silent last night, I’m presuming that meant it went well.” Heeseung says wiggling his eyebrows as Jaeyun walks into the bedroom, his head hung low to hide his swollen eyes. “Jake? You okay?” 

It’s a question he doesn’t know how to answer so instead he tilts his head back to stop the tears and exhales loudly. “Did-” Heeseung stands up and cautiously makes his way over to the younger, “did she not like it? What did she say?”

Jaeyun looks everywhere but Heeseung, his eyes hazed with tears and then he catches a glimpse of the ring on his table. Uncontrollable sobs leave him and Heeseung brings him forcefully into a hug. “She left.” 

The worry that was on Heeseung’s face quickly changed to astonishment. He was flabbergasted by Jaeyun’s statement. “Jake, what do you mean she left?” 

“Me, us, her family, she left everything behind.” The crying only got louder the more he spoke, muffled by his best friend’s chest as he nuzzled in further for comfort.

“Let me call her-”

“No use, she won't answer. She’s going straight to voicemail. Not even her mum can get a hold of her.” Jaeyun steps back and fetches the note from his jeans pocket and silently hands it to Heeseung. As Heeseung reads the letter, Jaeyun walks towards the ring and picks it up, anxiously biting his lip as he looks at it. His promise to you lying in the palm of his hand. Jaeyun starts to remember all the times he spoke about marrying you, even when people said young love doesn’t last you both just shut them out. A part of him wonders if they got in your head and he was too wrapped up in everything he didn’t notice, didn’t give you the reassurance you needed. But then, wasn’t this ring reassurance enough?

“What the actual fuck!” Heeseung exclaims, pulling Jaeyun out of his trance. “Jake…fuck, what the fuck is she thinking?” Somehow Heeseung is more angry than Jaeyun. He grips the letter tight and waves it in the air, “So she didn’t accept the ring?” The glint from the silver flashes in front of Heeseung as he stares with wide eyes.

“She accepted it. Last night went better than I could have imagined,” Jaeyun starts, “It was this morning she left.” A slow tear falls from his right eye as he finally makes eye contact with his best friend. “What did I do, Hee?”

Nothing. Heeseung knew the puppy-like boy had done nothing wrong. With two long strides, Heeseung pulls him back into a hug and almost crushes him with the pressure. Jaeyun liked hugs like this the most, ones that had intent and emotions. Heeseung was fuming and Jaeyun was breaking. Fire and Ice reacting to the same situation.

“You did fuck all wrong, Jake. I don’t get what's going through her head.” He huffs and pushes Jaeyun so he is arm's length away, his hands gripping his shoulders as he stares into his eyes, “You did everything right, she’s just-”

“Don’t. Don’t say anything about her okay? You don’t know her. She wouldn’t do this without a good reason.”

“And what? She couldn’t tell you what the reason was and instead pussied out and left? She should have told you she was leaving last night before she got your hopes up and accepted that ring, no?” Jaeyun knew Heeseung was right but his love for you was still as strong as ever so his instincts kicked in to defend you.

“Fuck you man you don’t get to speak about her like that. I might not understand it now but I don’t doubt in my mind she did it for a reason she thought was valid,” Jaeyun is pushing Heeseung out the door, his voice low, dangerous, “She wouldn’t have told me last night to protect my feelings.”

Heeseung looks his friend dead in the eye, a flame behind them Jaeyun hasn’t seen before. “Yeah? How are your feelings right now then? Do they feel protected?” Silence. The whole house is still as he scoffs and sticks his tongue in his cheek. “Think about that.” 

Heeseung storms out of the Sim residence and Jaeyun slams his door. How could Heeseung say that when he doesn’t even know the reasons behind your departure? Jaeyun is envious of him in reality. He wants to be that mad and get out all his feelings. But for now, he’ll wallow in this hurt for a few more days. Everything will come crashing once he leaves for Busan to your shared- 

His flat. 

this writer has me hooked on all her changmin characters 😭 its not good for my heart 😭

𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐤

motorcycle racer!ji changmin x gn!reader

1.4k words, flirting, changmin is wearing a leather jacket and aviators and dog tags (swoons), he calls u sweetheart ofc

a/n: at this point, i might as well just keep on going — btw, i recommend reading "rush" before this so the plot is put into context, but if u don't that's cool too

You had never seen Ji Changmin in the daylight before. 

You had been summoned down to the front of your apartment complex by his text message, informing you that your car was waiting outside. Instead of seeing only your beloved, hand-me-down sedan, you found yourself gazing upon the very thing mentioned beforehand: Ji Changmin, in all his glory. 

He was leaning up against the side of your car with his hands tucked into the pockets of his leather jacket, a garment riddled with pretty patches of art and emblems you'd like to take a closer look at. His dark hair was swept back slightly, just enough to be out of his face. He wore a pair of dark aviators over his eyes, and your keen eyes caught the dog tags hanging from the chain around his neck. 

He grinned at the sight of you, his tongue caught between his teeth. The dimples were throwing you off immensely. 

"Well?" He said in greeting, throwing his arms out open wide in a vague gesture. "Told you, you could trust me."

You made your way down the stairs toward him and your sandaled feet slapped against the concrete. You laughed under your breath, a little disbelieving. "I have to admit: I didn't think you could drive cars, Ji."

Changmin's mouth pressed into a smile then, taking a step toward you until the two of you stood face to face on the sidewalk. "Just one of my many charms, sweetheart."

You braided your arms over your chest. "Well, uh, for what it's worth—thanks for bringing my car back safe and sound." You made a show of peering around him at the vehicle. "At least, I hope it's all sound."

He snorted. "You're talking to the city's resident mechanic, Yn. It's as sound as sound can be."

"Ah, so you're a mechanic now?"

"I always have been." He leaned forward slightly, and you saw his eyes over the rim of his glasses, just as his tongue swiped over his bottom lip. "If you want, we can take it out for a spin and maybe you can learn a few more of my many talents."

You tilted your head to the side. Your thundering heart was making it difficult to think, or maybe that was just Changmin. This man was definitely keeping you on your toes. "I think some things are better left to the imagination."

Even with the aviators, you saw surprise flash over his features, and satisfaction purred in your chest. It felt good to elicit that kind of reaction from him. 

You shifted your gaze to movement in your periphery to watch as one of your neighbors pulled into the lot down the block. The thought suddenly occurred to you that if Changmin had your car dropped off here, he might not actually have a way back to wherever his residence was, unless the walk wasn't far. 

Maybe you were about to take your car out for a spin after all. 

You sighed, facing Changmin again. He was still waiting for you. "Let me grab my wallet," you exhaled, already turning on your heel to head into the complex. 

His laugh followed you all the way in. 

You had to adjust the driver's seat when you got into your car. Changmin was already settled in the passenger side, seat belt strapped over his chest and aviators propped up on his head. The keys were left dangling in the ignition for you, and he had even gone so far as to roll down his window and let the radio start playing. 

"You've made yourself at home," you noted as you sat up straight and quickly checked your mirrors. 

You stole a glance over at him at the same time as he did for you. 

He looked like he had too much room over there with his legs spread like that. "It's not every day that I get chauffeured. Usually it's the other way 'round. Pull out onto the main street and make a left," he instructed. 

"Yes, sir," you muttered under your breath as you followed his words, glancing over your shoulder as you turned out of the neighborhood and onto the bustling main intersection. 

Changmin tongued his cheek to keep from smiling. 

As you sped along the main road with the rest of traffic, you said, "For some reason, you feel very nocturnal to me."

He chuckled. "Why? Because races are at night?"

You lifted a shoulder half-heartedly. "I mean, yeah. I haven't seen you or associated you in any other context besides that. And maybe as Chanhee's weird friend—"

Changmin shot you a look. "I'm the weird one? Have you seen that man play Cool Math Games when he's bored?"

You guffawed aloud, and Changmin's mouth widened into a grin at the sound. "Do I keep going straight, or where do I turn?"

"Oh, keep going for two more intersections and then make a right into the first alleyway." He peered out his window for a second to watch the pedestrians and other cars on his side. "Again, not really sure what gave you the impression that I'm the weird one."

The smile on your face just wouldn't go away. But this time, you didn't have Changmin's helmet to hide it. 

You heeded Changmin's instructions and followed the road past two more intersections, then signaled to turn into the first alleyway. The alley led you into the back parking lot of what you assumed connected to the street of shops facing the main road. Changmin pointed toward an opened garage door like the yawning jaws of a cavern just down the block, and you carefully swung your car into park along the curb across from it. 

Changmin unbuckled his seatbelt and popped his door open. "My bike's inside," he said, as if interpreting your silent gaze toward the open garage door as a question. You could see all the equipment inside, as well as his motorcycle amongst the chaos. It seemed that he wasn't kidding about being a mechanic.

Your eyes darted upward at the second level above the garage. "Do you live here?" You blurted. "Sorry that was nosy—"

He shook his head, his hand propped on top of the car door where he stood just outside the car. "It's all good. Yeah, I live up there. It was just convenient and I couldn't exactly pass up the chance for a two-in-one rent," he chuckled. 

You nodded. There were thoughts running through your head, and yet, none of the words felt right on your tongue. 

Changmin pursed his lips into a dimpled smile, saluting you again. "Thanks for the ride back, Yn."

"Thanks for getting my car back," you replied. 

The car door slammed shut, and you slumped in your seat, waiting for him to round your car and head into his residence. 

Except, he rounded the car, then knocked on your window instead. 

You furrowed your brows, jamming your thumb on the button to lower the window all the way down. "Something up?"

He broke into an impish smile. "I forgot to give you this." He shouldered off the leather jacket on his shoulders, exposing the muscular build of his upper arms constrained in the navy blue T-shirt he wore. Your eyes widened as he folded the jacket in half, rolled it in a neat bundle, then passed it to you through the open window. You stared down at it like he had just placed a bomb in your lap. 

He snickered at your reaction, leaning his forearms above his head on the top of the car as he ducked his head in your window. "They see that, they'll let you in for free," he said, nodding to the jacket. 

You raised your head to meet his eyes. "They know it's yours?"

Changmin hummed, teeth capturing his bottom lip. "Mhm."

Oh. "They're gonna assume things."

"Like what?"

You deadpanned at him, and swore your heart tripped at the boyish smile on his face. He knew exactly what you were trying to get at. "They're gonna assume that we're an item."

Changmin shrugged his shoulders. "So? What does it matter what they think or assume? We know the truth."

"The truth?" You echoed. "You can't just tell them to let me in when I show my ID or something?"

Instead of addressing your logical suggestion, he simply said, "It's none of their business who you are to me." 

You blinked; his expression was unfaltering. You didn't know what game he was playing, but you had to remind yourself that you were only in this city for a short time, not a long one. (Then again, maybe that was more reason to live your life out like you had never gotten to before.) "And who am I to you?"

Changmin straightened, pushing off the car. He began walking backward toward his garage, putting distance between himself and his jacket. There was that cocky, smug smile again. "Whoever you wanna be, sweetheart."

a/n: i *really* need to make up for the lack of jacob fics now :/ (sorry cobie close ur eyes !! u don't see ANYTHING)

tbz m.list

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