Not At Me Internally Crying Looking At My 20+ Open Tabs, But Then Continuing To Open A New Tab Because

Not at me internally crying looking at my 20+ open tabs, but then continuing to open a new tab because the fic looked like it has a nice plot.

Did i mention all the fics that are saved in my ‘need to read folder’ and ‘reading list’???

I must hate myself 😭✋

This was me when I accidentally left the water boiling on the stove and could’ve sworn I had something I needed to do, only for my cousin to walk in later and to say ‘you burnt the pot.’

Naruto: Ah shit, I forgot. Hinata: Forgot what? Naruto: How do you expect me to answer that?

I hate being in a religious family while also kinda breaking out of my religion. You don’t get to take your own path and explore life in the way u want to and are looked down on, degraded to the point you feel guilty and uncertain.

The hardest part is having different views than someone else, in my case my mom. Like now, i told her my plans in the morning got cancelled and she uses the opportunity to say i have to go to the laundromat with my brother. I was confused because I thought she had to go and i stated as such. She said she has to go into work real quick and i was like okay, but you could have asked me instead if commanded me.

Is it so wrong for me to want to be asked instead of forced to do something, especially now that I’m in my depressive state. I don’t want to do much but if taken the right measures i might be able to get up and do things. And one of the measures is simply communicating with my ass, just ask me and then explain your reasoning, that’s all. I don’t give a fuck about age, it’s unless to expect me to treat you based off of your age instead of how your treating me as a person, a human being.

I hate that she’s so manipulative, saying ‘oh so yiu expect me to get on my hands and knees to beg to you, like your some god or something, like your the elder you think you are’, no you trick ass bitch of a mom, i want you to simply acknowledge my feelings and my boundaries. Not expect me to be at your beck and call like the slave you think im calling you. Which, for one, I don’t even know where she’s getting that idea from. The only thing i asked her to do was move into my grandmas, and that’s gotten us out of one spot, now we just have to work our way to a better one.

Always saying shit like my brother and i are useless and nuisances that she wants to leave, but where is she going to go? She’s been husbandless for 10 years now, who she gonna fall back on? No one, according to her ‘I don’t need anyone’s help and I don’t want to burden others’. Like you wash dead bodies to help out at the funeral home and other than that work one day a week, which is all a recent thing. Not to mention that when she needs something, her first reaction is to ask my brother or I to go out and get it for her.

I’m tired of the way she acts, I swear. She keeps expecting us to be religious and faithful, but we live in America, we’re surrounded by stuff that in our own home is unrecognizable. Of course we are going to get curious and reach out to the world, not the confines of our own home which we already know.

We wouldn’t have even argued if she realized that im asking for one thing, one thing and I would have just been like ‘cool, i’ll think about it.’ and knowing my brother, i would have gone with him to the laundromat not trusting him to fold the clothes properly. My heart hurts so bad right now that i want to cry, but I don’t want the reason to be something like this. To feel weak when i know im not, i know it can help relieve some stress, but how would it look if either my brother wakes up, or my mom looks to my side of the room and sees me crying. The only bad thing about living in the same room together lol.

Anyway, im glad that I could kind of get this off my chest. There’s so much more that goes into it, but it would take a really long time to write it out and rant, and I personally like reading more than writing lol.

Alrighty,, anyone wanna cry with me? Because this is the fic for you 😭😭✋

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27188491/chapters/66408277

42 chapters, almost 200k words, and a completed work.

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Imma cry because i just read a 66k word fanfic and it’s incomplete and has been since 2013 😭😭😭

I feel so betrayed right now, I could have sworn I checked whether or not it was completed before I started. At least the last chapter left off on a beautiful image lol.