Can I Please Get Some Comfort From Tauxolouve? I Am Feeling Horrible Physically And Mentally. I Was Considering

Can i please get some comfort from Tauxolouve? I am feeling horrible physically and mentally. I was considering to end everything. Then i talked to my best friend and now i am not thinking about that but i don't know. I just want to be held for sometime. I don't how that will be possible to write as a story but if you can then please write something. I am sorry.

"That...! Is your strength..."

Genre: comfort

Warnings: suicidal thoughts

A/N: Hello, dearest!! The year has just started and an entire life is unraveling still. Please, don't give up!💓💓💓 I love you, you can do this!!🌹🌹🌹🌹

The call ended and the continuous sound of deeps filled up your ear, before you left your phone on the table, with trembling fingers. You put your elbows on its cool surface and buried your face in your palms, your wet cheeks cooling down your heated palms.

You breathed in deeply and exhaled through your nose, your eyebrows furrowed in frustration. Holding your palms against your temples, you stared at the wall opposite of you and you could feel the silence suffocating you, wrapping around your heart, lungs and mind and squeezing tightly, until you were holding back tears again.

Your body and soul felt tired, exhausted... Your muscles were sore, your eyelids heavy and as much as you slept, you'd always wake up just as tired by the sun's greeting.

Your mental health was dragging you down too, like iron shackles pulling you deeper and deeper within the ocean's abyss. The waves crashed into your pained body and your sobs begged for you to open your mouth and let the water rush in. You felt nothing but hopeless, even considering the end. Even considering opening your mouth, while still beneath the water.

You did your best to keep your friend's words in your head, gripping them tightly. "Don't leave." She had begged. "Don't give up." She had pleaded.

You were not thinking so much about it right now, but it didn't change the way that everything around you appeared grey and cold.

You slowly turned your head to the balcony and took a deep breath. You got up, your feet feeling heavy, as if your ankles were made of steel and stone and you stepped out into the night breeze, clutching your jacket tightly around you. The cold had at least managed to wake you up a little.

You connected your palms before your chest and shut your eyes tightly, your fingers intertwining. "I wish you were here... I need someone to hold me, at least for a little." Your words came out as a whisper, as if you were too scared the stars would hear you, but at the same time, you wanted them to.

You gripped the railing and stared at the ground with an empty gaze. The pain was dull and perhaps that was the worst. Because you couldn't cry it out. It was just a hole staining your soul. Your heart was the locket and you had lost the key, so cold air slipped inside and howled during the night.

A breeze blew just then and you looked up, tufts of hair swaying around your face, like a broken frame fighting to hold onto its pieces against the inpatient wind. Your eyebrows rose, a feeling different than the dull and aching pain, finding home within your chest. It wasn't exactly the brightest of emotions, but it was better than feeling the nothingness and physical exhaustion suffocating you.

A star twinkled in the sky and it descended lower towards the Earth. Towards you. The light took on form and features, until you could undeniably recognize the form of the man you love, flying down to your side.

You watched on silently, as he landed on your balcony, the streetlight broken and dipping the entire neighborhood into darkness and securing the intimacy of this moment for just the two of you. "My little lady," He spoke softly, tongue dripping with honey at the sweetness of his tone and vocal cords made by velvet at the softness of it. "I'm here."

You nodded, your lower lip quivering. "You are, indeed."

He spread out his arms, wordlessly. His features were soft, the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes giving his expression the welcoming and kind appearance you always adored.

Tears spilled from your eyes and they felt somehow freeing. Redeeming. You sobbed as you rushed into his arms, throwing yours around him, your fingers curled around the soft fabric of his uniform, gripping him tightly and never wanting to let go. "Thank you for coming." You said, voice low and muffled against his chest, your shoulders jerking along with your ragged breaths.

"I will always come." He answered, wrapping his arms around you securely, his warmth and caramel scent embracing you and protecting you from the world that seemed so uncaring with you. "I promise you that."

"Life seems so hard right now. So hopeless...!" You explained, opening up between sobs. "Physically, mentally, I feel horrible. I've considered ending everything." You wiped some tears away, but it was pointless, since new ones soon came forth, like rain falling from the Heavens and causing floods. "I don't know. I just... I just want to be held."

"My little lady..." He breathed, squeezing you in his arms and preventing the cool wind from touching your fragile and already tired body. "I'm here, don't worry. I will hold you as much as you yearn for." He placed a hand on the back of your head and began stroking your hair, while speaking, lips close to your soft head. "Life is hard sometimes. Life can look like a dark tunnel with no exit and you may walk and walk, until your feet start hurting. Until you want to give up." He rubbed your back, feeling your labored breaths and placed kisses to your hair, between words. "But trust me. Life... Has always something for all of us. I didn't believe it myself, until I met you, but it's true. Things may seem like they're not worthy of the trouble and hardships now, but... The more you live, the more you'll gain. Surely, bad experiences are part of it too. There are wonderful things down the road too, though. Things that once you live them, you'll be thinking back on the days when you wanted to give up and be glad you didn't."

"What if that's not how my life's going to be and I only have hardships?"

"That's impossible." He objected, gently, giving your trembling body a warm squeeze. "Everyone's lives are shaped with both good and bad moments. But I promise you this. With everything in me! Brighter days are coming and it'd be tragic if you were to miss them. Right now, no one can fathom what life has in store for them specifically, so it's easy for most of them to say 'it's over, I can't do it'. But I know that, if you were to close your eyes by your own hand..." He paused, taking a deep and shaky breath, his body shuddering at the thought. "You'd also be closing the door to every beautiful thing that you could've had experienced." He cupped your cheeks in his hands and tilted your head upwards, so you would be facing him properly. "Every time you feel like giving up, remember a time in the past you told yourself you couldn't get through and you could've sworn you wouldn't make it. And yet you made it. That...! Is your strength..."

Your lips formed a smile, a trembling and weak one, but a smile nonetheless. Burying your face back into his purple scarf, you still felt exhausted, physically and mentally. But now determination melted some of the sharp, icy corners. You could do this. You are strong, just like Tauxolouve and everyone who loves you believes and even more.

As someone who has been through all these phases...🥲👍😭😭😭

☆ Department of Wishes ☆

PURPLE, MAUVE, BLUSH 😊

Thank you so much!! 😭🤧🥺💜💜💗💜💜✨💗💗💜💗💗✨

Telling myself this every day so here's a meme