I Had A Friend Who Disappeared The Other Day. He Said He Had A Plan To Totally Undermind And Destroy

I had a friend who disappeared the other day. He said he had a plan to totally undermind and destroy you. But I can’t find him anywhere now! Did you have something to do with that? I hope you didn’t turn him in to a tall, dumb, hung meathead. He would have hated that!

snap

Welcome, welcome. Sorry for the delay. I know, I've been absent for a while but I wasn't really gone. You see, I've been watching all of you for the past few months, biding my time, gathering and waiting for the right moment to pounce.

So relax, you're dumber now anyway. Chill, my dude. We'll pump up your testosterone in a minute, but for now just relish in the clarity. Who needs big thoughts anyway?

Because you were on to me, and quick to my schemes, I'm going to make an example out of you. You shall be my magnum opus. Shall we begin?

Let's get you out of those clothes first. In your new life, you will barely need them.

Your feet should be much bigger. Feel them crack and stretch. You've got fucking huge feet, bro.

While we're on the subject of huge... Everything about you is huge. Your legs are thickening, growing bigger and bigger. Your ass is expanding and your shoulders are so wide. You'll be going sideways through doors from now on!

Arms? Bigger arms for sure. 16- no 17 inch biceps. Go ahead and flex 'em. What do you think?

I’m gonna angle your jaw a bit, make you classically handsome to go with your brutish bull of a body. You'll dress up nice, but your body is made for showing off. Some stubble on your face is going to make your face perfect.

Something is missing. Your muscles are excellent, if I do say so myself, but they need a pop. What about some tattoos? The last guy I did had tattoos as well, but I want to go all out for you. How about we cover you in them! From head to toe, literally. Every inch of your muscled adonis is a canvas now. You'll have some cool designs, religious stuff, words and shit. Girls will love it, and so will the guys. Ah, it doesn't hurt does it? Take a look at your body, bro. See all the ink darkening on your skin? What do you think?

Okay, stand up for me. Steady on your feet! I'll correct your mind in a second. Oh shit! I forgot your dick. A man like you needs a thick penis to match. Go ahead and stroke it while it grows. See, it wasn't so bad! And to think, you were worried about your buddy before all of this. I assure you, he was just as happy as you are right now.

Okay, testosterone. You're dumb, but you make up for it with your body, of course. Lifting is your life now.

Let's get a full look at you. Yep, my best work yet! Now go get out of my sight, you fucking meathead.

Hi, can you make me please a twunk with a aura? That even straight guys want to fuck me...

snap

Remind me again what a twunk is? A muscular twink? Okay, I can work with that. Let's get started.

First of all, shorter. You have to be shorter. With a big mess of dark hair, an angular jaw and a young face. You need a stud in those ears too. Just the way Daddy likes it.

We'll plump your muscles up. Not too big though! How about some popping veins? Look at your arms bro, you like that?

Okay, lift up your shirt and do something sexy with it. Yeah! Just like that. Perfect.

And now why don't you try a pose or something. Yeah you can put it in your mouth, why not. Great, and flex!

Go on, get out of here bro. You have some weights to lift.

I'd like to wish being transformed into a really dumb jock, and gross, but like, literal, so dumb i can't even say what 2 + 2 is, and i so gross i constantly belch and fart non-stop cause i think its manly and its funny, could you do it, pleasee?

You want to be dumbest thing walking on two legs. Thats all I read when I seen this. So that’s what we are going to do. People will look at you really question how something so dumb could even exist. As soon as your wish leaves you mouth instantly you tongue acts on it own hanging out of your mouth like a dog. You try to pull it back in but you can’t ! No matter what you do your tongue just seems to be too big you mouth and your jaw squares itself and drops. You look in the mirror shocked. You didn’t think didn’t think it would happen this fast but you can’t deny it. You look dumb. You start to burn up as your body begins to generate more heat than you’re used to and sweat begins to pour on your body. As that happens a puddle begins to form under you from all the sweat dripping off your body and your body begins to bulk with muscle. Your arms balloon out as your chest pumps up. Your abs pull your waist in and become tight forming an incredible 8 pack. Your face begins to itch as a beard starts to grow on your dumb face as your hair darkens. Your arms become hairy and your legs begin to bulk. Becoming swallowed in a furry mass as well. You back widens and you are overcomed with being lightheaded you have to sit down. Sitting in front of the mirror in your own puddle of sweat you can’t help but notice right arm and pec begin to get dark as a tattoos begins to streatch their way up your arms and across your chest. You look down and see a tattoo form on your right leg as your feet begin to swell. You notice that as your feet get bigger your tongue begins to push out more. Lower. DUMBER! Your pants begin to get tight as your package seems to be connect to your feet to. The bigger they become the larger your member becomes. Your feet stop ground at a sweaty size 17. Your body is massive now. Dripping sweat. Your veins are bulging from all the mass you’ve gained and your skin even has a tanned color to it.

But even though you look dumb. You said you wanted to be DUMB! Like the definition of full blown dumbass. And intense migraine moved across your head as you brain cramps. Losing the ridges that hold knowledge. Smoothing out as you become a literal dumbass. But I’m not cruel. I’ll leave you able to function. Unable to read. Unable to do anything other than lift weight and be a dumbass. You belch signifying lift off of your new dumbass life. Not even aware how stupid you are. I’m not even sure if you remember how to walk with how dumb I’ve made you but a muscle body like needs to crawl anyway. You’ll repeat simple sentences but anything complex you’ll have a glazed look pass over your dumb face. Instantly lost in all the confusion. Even yelling like a wild animal because of the dumbass you’ve become. You manage to stand up and stagger as your stupid brain tries to understand what you’re doing. A loud fart shoots out of your tight bulbous butt while another burp comes out. Still sweating and pumping out some serious Bo. You’re going to be a sweaty gas machine. To dumb to do anything and impossible to learn anything. Enjoy the new life you big dumbass.

hey man life’s stressful. do you think you could change me? take away some of that stress and make me dumber and buffer

snap

Welcome to my changing room. No need to thank me. You have been selected! You're going to love what I have in store for you. I heard the poor baby has some stress in his life. Oh dear, what a poor baby. Let me make it better for you. I'll change your life so your only stress is not having enough hours in the day to pump in the gym.

Oh you like that idea, huh? I can tell — your dick is already hard. Let's start there... I'll make it a little bigger. Oh, your balls need to be much lower than that, and they need to be fucking heavy man. Give 'em a squeeze. Feels good, right?

Now where to go from here? How about down? Your butt is awful flat... I'll fix it. Feel it grow and inflate. Feel it firm up and shift out. Feel it squeeze and tighten. Damn, that's a great ass.

Your thighs and legs. They're bigger. Those muscles might be sore for a bit — you just finished a big workout!

You want a 6 pack? 8 pack? Must be nice to watch all that fat and chub melt away... to be replaced by chiselled abs and an adonis belt you could hang a spoon off of. Go ahead and flex that. I'm gonna widen your shoulders a ton. You're gonna have trouble fitting through doorways son! You'll need thick arms, bulging veins. You are a fucking muscle beast bro!

I'll add some muscle to your chest and pecs. Feel that burning and stretching. Your nipples are relocating to the tip of your pec. Perfectly little brown circles. And just a wee bit sensitive. Especially if I rub my finger around like this.

You like that. I saw your dick twitch. You love nipple play now. Especially when guys, ahem - you're gay too, when guys lick around it with their tongues.

Time for your face. Boyish looks. You have the bod, but your face is clean and smooth. And this is going to be the fun part for me — the mental changes! You're fucking dumb as all shit bro! Ch'yeah bro, don't worry about using that head of yours. Just keep pumping that muscle up and taking selfies in the mirror. With a face and a body like yours, who needs to think?

Becoming Papi

An unnamed narrator wins a competition to get "up close and personal" with his favourite hockey player, Auston Matthews. Turns out he may be getting closer and more personal than he anticipated!

This is a story I've posted elsewhere. It is my story, copyright me.

"Get Up-close and Personal with Auston Matthews!” The competition had said. I had entered on a whim, never expecting to win. I was very surprised to receive the winning notice in my inbox a few days later. For a week, I had been buzzing. I was going to meet my favourite hockey player! Number 34 of the Toronto Maple Leafs: Auston Matthews. 

And now I was here! Sitting in a random training room at the Ford Performance Centre in Etobicoke, Ontario, just outside of Toronto. The room was cool and full of exercise equipment. Massive banners hung from the ceiling and the walls were covered in different murals of player faces and motivational phrases. I fiddled with my shirt as I waited, thinking about how Auston was likely in the next room also waiting for me. I wondered if he was as nervous as I was or if he was calm and cool, but before I could put much into the thought, the door opened. A woman dressed in black poked her head through the gap.

“You can come in now,” she said.

I smiled and and followed her through the door. The room on the other side was a long room, with wooden dressing stalls and benches against the walls. Hockey equipment hung at each stall; pants, shoulder pads, blue and white practise jerseys and the room had a gentle odour of sweat. A massive Maple Leaf logo covered much of the floor, and sitting on one of the wooden benches was Auston Matthews. He was wearing a cream coloured hoodie, shorts and a baseball cap. The way he sat on the bench pushed his thighs, making them seem thicker and bigger. His hair was slicked back behind his ears while his dark moustache was sitting darkly on his upper lip.

“Auston,” I murmured, reaching towards him with my hand. “It’s so, so incredible to meet you!”

“Hey,” he said in a relaxed drawl and standing up to meet me. He was taller than me. His smile instantly relaxed me. “Nice to meet you.”

“I’m such a big fan. You’re, like, my favourite player.” I was gushing, but I didn’t care.

He was killing me with that smile. I realized I was still gripping his hand. 

“Oh sorry!” I said, but his hand tightened and firmed around mine. I felt a warm tingling around my palm for a moment before he let go and grinned at me.

“You’re going to be perfect,” he said. “What happens next is going to be weird… Just relax and let it happen.”

He let go of my hand and I felt my face contort into a puzzled expression. But before I was able to voice a question, I was met with an extreme pricking sensation travelling up my arm. It started in the hand Auston had just shook and gradually travelled and radiated across my body. It felt like a warm, relaxing wave that cascaded through my blood and over my skin.

“You should probably take off your clothes for this,” Auston said. 

I nodded and did what I was told, tossing everything in a corner. The waves were coursing faster through my body now, making my heart thump in my chest. I spied a mirror on the wall and walked over to it, ignoring the fact that I was naked. The tingling sensation was across my entire body now, causing me to become excited and aroused. My penis began to lift and grow harder, and so it only felt right to touch it. I stood naked in the Maple Leafs’ dressing at their practice facility, feeling dazed and tingly, stroking my cock for extra sensation.

The tingling stopped, but the warmth remained and a sudden jolt of energy attacked my shoulders. My shoulders clicked and popped and widened out, with new muscle mass stretching overtop. At the same time, my deltoids and pectoral muscles ballooned, becoming thicker and much more pronounced with thick layers of muscle. I felt strength and power push down into my core. Where once there had been a ring of fat, there were now strong abdominal muscles. My stomach tightened and fortified, needing more room to house the brawn I was gaining, and I became stocky and heavy-set in muscle. Dark lines sketched their way across my right side and arm: new tattoos inked their way onto my bulked mass. An intricate sleeve tattoo wove across my right arm, painting dark lines across my lightly browning skin. I stroked my hand across my chest, feeling the raw strength and newly sprouted chest hair underneath my fingertips. My back cracked and stretched as I jumped up several inches in height.

The skin on my penis darkened and the shaft grew in girth and length into a monster cock. Pre-cum began to drip out of the tip. I was enjoying the changes.

In the mirror I saw a wide-chested, bulked out body attached to two stick-like legs. To say it looked like I skipped leg day would be an understatement. Almost automatically, the changes continued in my lower half. My butt ballooned and padded out, looking like two globes attached to my waist, the product of millions of squats. My thighs thickened and increased significantly, looking more like massive trunks than legs now. Below that, my calves became cut and toned, shedding any excess fat and leaving behind only raw muscle. I stood on two strong centres of explosive power. The skin browned slightly, matched the hue of the my torso.

I looked in the mirror at my new body. Instinctively, I knew it was Auston Matthews’ body. Everything from the neck down was unfamiliar, different and new, but deep down I knew it was right. In fact, it looked odd seeing my thin head attached to such a muscular body. The changes were not finished yet. I turned and saw the other Auston (the real Auston) with his shorts around his ankles, stroking his penis vigorously; it appeared he was enjoying my changes as much as I was.

Turning back to the mirror, I saw my skull and expanding, creaking and cracking as it went. My chin pushed forward, squaring off the back of my jaw as well. My eyes became more inset, slightly narrower and darker and my nose more pointed and wide at the nostrils. My hair lengthened down towards my neck, and my forehead broadened as my hairline migrated to the very top of my head. My ears flattened a little against my head and became longer. The wild and bushy eyebrows I sported before thinned, becoming tapered lines above my dark eyes. My teeth whitened and straightened. And above my thickening lips, a dark wisp of hair poked out through my skin and thickened into a Latino-style moustache. It swept across my entire upper lip into a neat half triangle that stretched under my nose. More patches of scruff and facial hair dotted across my cheeks and neck. Auston Matthews was staring at me from the mirror.

“That was sick, bro!” The other Auston Matthews was behind me, retying the drawstring on his shorts. He was wearing a face mask now, and a dark blue coloured hoodie and cap. His eyes looked lighter than before, almost like he had changed his own appearance as well. He stepped over, offering me his hand to high-five. 

I felt my face smile that trademark Auston Matthews smile. “Thanks,” I replied, my voice now lower and echoing the same laid-back drawl, and returned his high-five. 

“You probably have a million questions. Like ‘what happened’, ‘what did you do?’, right?”

“Something like that!” I laughed.

“So, yeah, basically… I want some time off. I’m going to disappear for a while… Get off the grid and relax. So while I’m gone, I want you to cover for me. This is your prize for winning that competition!”

“So I’m you?” I said, not fully understanding. 

“Not yet. You will be, just as soon as I’ve said the code word. After that, you will be Auston Matthews and I’ll just be some guy.”

“Oh,” I said. “I- I’m pretty shit at hockey. Like, I can skate but I can’t shoot for shit. I can’t even lift the puck. I don’t know how this is gonna work.” 

“Don’t worry about that. As soon as I say the code word, the transformation will finish and you’ll have all of my skills and memories, my winning personality… everything! You’ll be a complete copy of me.”

“Really? That’s fucking awesome! But what about the me from before? People are going to wonder where I am.”

“I’ll take care of that. Don’t worry. Let’s just say, that guy from before? He’s living on the other side of the planet. I’ll be back in a year, maybe more if you want, and I’ll change you back. All right?”

A life of possibilities flashed through my mind. I had never thought of playing in the NHL, even as a fantasy, and now it was about to become my reality.

“Oh! I forgot one thing,” Auston said as he lifted his arms behind his neck to two silver chains that were hooked there. “You’ll need these,” he said, and he carefully slipped them around my neck.” 

I looked into the mirror, staring back at my naked body, taking in my massive hockey butt and sleeve tattoo. The silver chains caught the light, and a silver cross stuck against my massive pectorals. It felt complete now. I ran my hands over my shoulders, chest, stomach and butt, grinning at myself. I’m going to be Auston Matthews! I thought. No, I am Auston Matthews! 

“All right bud, this is it. Remember, from this moment, you are going to be Auston Matthews. It’s going to feel awesome and amazing. Enjoy it.” The other Auston wrapped his arm around my beefy neck. “Don’t forget, you’ve got practice after this, ay Papi?”

Papi? A calm fog entered my brain. The world melted away from me and I felt the final changes take hold.

My name is Auston Matthews. I was born in California and grew up in Scottsdale, Arizona. I am part Mexican. I am a professional hockey player. I play for the Toronto Maple Leafs. 

My name is Auston Matthews. I was born in California and grew up in Scottsdale, Arizona. I am part Mexican. I am a professional hockey player. I play for the Toronto Maple Leafs…

My name is Auston Matthews.

My brain filled with years of hockey practice, workouts, flashes of Mexican heritage, memories of playing for USA National Team, playing with the ZSC Lions in Zürich and of playing with the Toronto Maple Leafs. I remembered the awards I had won, the All Star games I had played in, the teammates I had played with. My brain relaxed and mellowed, as new personality traits took over. The foreign-feeling muscles I had just grown became familiar and normal; I immediately knew how to use the power in my legs and arms. Some Spanish words entered my brain and I felt my identity switch to part Mexican. The fog lifted from my brain, and the room re-materialised around me. 

What am I doing here, staring at myself in the mirror! I need to get dressed for practice! 

I immediately strode over to my dressing stall — the one marked MATTHEWS 34 — and slipped on my compression gear and skate socks. I grabbed my jock and pulled it up to my waist, adjusting my crotch and penis to sit within the cup. Sitting, I reached for my shin pads, fixed him to my legs, and strapped the Velcro around my calves. I pulled a pair of blue and white striped hockey socks overtop of my shin pads, and hooked them securely at my waist. 

I was on autopilot at this point; everything felt natural and normal. 

I slid into a pair of blue hockey pants and tightened them around my waist. I saw that my skates were a custom pair of CCMs, with a blue and white pattern around the ankle with my nickname Papi and number 34 next to it. I stomped my foot inside the boot and tied my skates on tight. Quickly, I took a roll of hockey tape and wrapped one, two, three strips tightly around my shins. Next I grabbed my shoulder pads and elbow pads and strapped them around my massive arms and chest. I pulled a blue practise jersey over my pads, the number 34 emblemed on the back. Instinctively, I ran my hand through my hair and slicked it back, making it easier for me to don my helmet. I clipped the straps and checked it was on tightly. 

I reached for my gloves, putting them on felt familiar and welcoming. I nimbly ambled over, walking in skates, towards the rink exit, grabbing two of my PAPI labelled sticks from the rack. They were already taped and waxed and ready for some quick wristers on the ice. With my equipment on and my sticks in hand, I walked towards the ice.

Before stepping on the rink, I noticed a figure in the stands; an anonymous figure in a cream-coloured hoodie. I offered a loose salute from my temple and took my first stride. I let my powerful leg muscles work the way they had been conditioned to as I made confident movements across the pad. Spying a puck, I pivoted and strode towards it, catching it with my stick and pulling it towards me. I skated towards the empty net and in an instant, snapped it into the back of the goal. The whole movement had taken less than a second. I grinned and looked back to the now empty spot where the figure had stood. 

“My name is Auston Matthews, and I play for the Toronto Maple Leafs,” I thought to myself and ripped off another shot on goal.

I always wanted to feel what it’s like to be a hockey player. Seeing them in their uniforms.. turns me on.

snap

Hockey players are my speciality.

The first think you need is a big ass. It's okay, you can put your hands down there. You look shocked. It's not even close to being done. Bigger and bigger and bigger! There we go. A dump truck like that needs legs to match though, so let's get those thickened up.

What do you think, bud? You want to keep going?

You’ll need some beefy arms for all that hockey stick handling you’re about to do. You’ll have some really silky mitts!

You look the part, now to put the gear on.

Start with this, your base layer. It’s nice and tight, see. Makes your ass look good eh?

Strap your shin pads on next. And then slip these socks over top. You can probably guess what team you’re going on with those colours. Here are your pants, now you’re really looking big. Skates are next. Tie them tight!

All that’s left are shoulder pads, elbow pads and a jersey. What do you think of your number? Throw these gloves on and here’s your stick. Oh! I almost forgot your helmet. As soon as I put this on the change will be done. You’ll be a complete hockey player, from the way you talk to the way you dress. You’ll even have the skill. Ready for this? I bet you fucking are! You can’t wait to get out there and do some dirty dangles, eh bud? All right. Here it goes!