Cant Believe Jane Austen Wrote Pride And Prejudice In The 2000s

Can’t believe Jane Austen wrote Pride and Prejudice in the 2000s

And in 2015 Emily Brontë released literary clsssic Wuthering Heights

Thank God someone paved the way for them…

The phrase "not all men" refers directly to Gomez Addams. That man has never disrespected a woman in his life.

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐊𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐊𝐞𝐲𝐬

Next Chapter

BOOM.

They knocked again.

Dudley jerked awake. "Where's the cannon?" he said stupidly.

There was a crash behind Harry and Y/n and Uncle Vernon came skidding into the room. He was holding a rifle in his hands — now Y/n knew what had been in the long, thin package he had brought with them.

"Who's there?" he shouted. "I warn you — I'm armed!"

There was a pause. Then —

SMASH!

The door was hit with such force that it swung clean off its hinges and with a deafening crash landed flat on the floor. A giant of a man was standing in the doorway. His face was almost completely hidden by a long, shaggy mane of hair and a wild, tangled beard, but you could make out his eyes, glinting like black beetles under all the hair. The giant squeezed his way into the hut, stooping so that his head just brushed the ceiling. He bent down, picked up the door, and fitted it easily back into its frame. The noise of the storm outside dropped a little. He turned to look at them all.

"Couldn't make us a cup o' tea, could yeh? It's not been an easy journey. . . ." He strode over to the sofa where Dudley sat frozen with fear. "Budge up, yeh great lump," said the stranger.

Dudley squeaked and ran to hide behind his mother, who was crouching, terrified, behind Uncle Vernon.

"An' here ya are Harry, Y/n!" said the giant. Harry and Y/n looked up into the fierce, wild, shadowy face and saw that the beetle eyes were crinkled in a smile. "Las' time I saw you both, you was only a baby," said the giant. "Harry, yeh look a lot like yer dad, but yeh've got yer mum's eyes." The giant turned his attention Y/n and tears welled up. "And yeh, Y/n, yeh got yer mum's smile and nose. Oh, an' yer dad's chin!"

Uncle Vernon made a funny rasping noise. "I demand that you leave at once, sir!" he said. "You are breaking and entering!"

"Ah, shut up, Dursley, yeh great prune," said the giant; he reached over the back of the sofa, jerked the gun out of Uncle Vernon's hands, bent it into a knot as easily as if it had been made of rubber, and threw it into a corner of the room.

Uncle Vernon made another funny noise, like a mouse being trodden on.

"Anyway — Harry, Y/n," said the giant, turning his back on the Dursleys, "a very happy birthday to yeh both. Got summat fer yeh here — I mighta sat on it at some point, but it'll taste all right."

From an inside pocket of his black overcoat, he pulled a slightly squashed box. Harry opened it with trembling fingers, while Y/n watched his twin with curious eyes. Inside was a large, sticky chocolate cake with 'Happy Birthday Harry & Y/n' written on it in green icing.

Harry and Y/n looked up at the giant. "Thank you . . . sir?" said Y/n, a smile blooming on his face while his brother stared at the giant man.

Harry meant to say thank you, but the words got lost on the way to his mouth, and what he said instead was, "Who are you?"

The giant chuckled. "True, I haven't introduced meself. Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts." He held out an enormous hand and shook Harry's whole arm, before taking Y/n's and giving his arm the same treatment.

"What about that tea then, eh?" he said, rubbing his hands together. "I'd not say no ter summat stronger if yeh've got it, mind." His eyes fell on the empty grate with the shriveled chip bags in it and he snorted. He bent down over the fireplace; they couldn't see what he was doing, but when he drew back a second later, there was a roaring fire there. It filled the whole damp hut with flickering light and Harry felt the warmth wash over him as though he'd sunk into a hot bath.

The giant sat back down on the sofa, which sagged under his weight, and began taking all sorts of things out of the pockets of his coat: a copper kettle, a squashy package of sausages, a poker, a teapot, several chipped mugs, and a bottle of some amber liquid that he took a swig from before starting to make tea.

Soon the hut was full of the sound and smell of sizzling sausage. Nobody said a thing while the giant was working, but as he slid the first six fat, juicy, slightly burnt sausages from the poker, Dudley fidgeted a little. Uncle Vernon said sharply, "Don't touch anything he gives you, Dudley."

The giant chuckled darkly.

"Yer great puddin' of a son don' need fattenin' anymore, Dursley, don' worry." He passed the sausages to Harry and Y/n, who were so hungry they had never tasted anything so wonderful, but they still couldn't take their eyes off the giant. Finally, as nobody seemed about to explain anything, Harry said, "I'm sorry, but we still don't really know who you are." The giant took a gulp of tea and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Call me Hagrid," he said, "everyone does. An' like I told yeh, I'm Keeper of Keys at Hogwarts — yeh'll know all about Hogwarts, o' course."

Y/n shared a look with his twin before answering. "Er — no," Hagrid looked shocked.

"Sorry," Harry said quickly, trying to cover up what his brother said, hoping that this giant of a man didn't hurt him or Harry. "Sorry?" barked Hagrid, turning to stare at the Dursleys, who shrank back into the shadows.

"It's them as should be sorry! I knew yeh both weren't gettin' yer letters, but I never thought yeh both wouldn't even know abou' Hogwarts, fer cryin' out loud! Did yeh never wonder where yer parents learned it all?"

"All what?" Harry asked this time, confusion clouding his features.

"ALL WHAT?" Hagrid thundered. "Now wait jus' one second!" He had leapt to his feet. In his anger, he seemed to fill the whole hut. The Dursleys were cowering against the wall. "Do you mean ter tell me," he growled at the Dursleys, "that these boys —these boys! — knows nothin' abou'— about ANYTHING?"

Harry thought this was going a bit far. He and Y/n had been to school, after all, and his marks weren't bad, although Y/n did do a bit better on their exams.

"We know some things," he said. "We can, you know, do math and stuff." But Hagrid simply waved his hand and said, "About our world, I mean. Your world. My world. Yer parents' world."

"What world?" asked Y/n, his arms folding nervously. Hagrid looked as if he was about to explode.

"DURSLEY!" he boomed. Uncle Vernon, who had gone very pale, whispered something that sounded like "Mimblewimble." Hagrid stared wildly at Harry. "But yeh both must know about yer mum and dad," he said. "I mean, they're famous. You're famous."

"What? My — my mum and dad weren't famous, were they?" asked Harry, his attention to his cowering aunt and uncle. "Yeh don' know . .. yeh don' know . . ." Hagrid ran his fingers through his hair, fixing Harry and Y/n with a bewildered stare. "Yeh don' know what yeh both are?" he said finally. Uncle Vernon suddenly found his voice. "Stop!" he commanded. "Stop right there, sir! I forbid you to tell them anything!"

A braver man than Vernon Dursley would have quailed under the furious look Hagrid now gave him; when Hagrid spoke, his every syllable trembled with rage.

"You never told them? Never told them what was in the letter Dumbledore left fer them both? I was there! I saw Dumbledore leave it, Dursley! An' you've kept it from them all these years?"

"Kept what from me?" said Harry eagerly, making Y/n swat his brother on the arm. Harry turned his head glared at his twin before turning his attention back to his panicking uncle.

"STOP! I FORBID YOU!" yelled Uncle Vernon in panic. Aunt Petunia gave a gasp of horror.

"Ah, go boil yer heads, both of yeh," said Hagrid.

"Harry, Y/n — yer a wizard."

There was silence inside the hut. Only the sea and the whistling wind could be heard.

"We're a what?" gasped Harry.

"A wizard, o' course," said Hagrid, sitting back down on the sofa, which groaned and sank even lower, "an' a thumpin' good'un, I'd say, once yeh've been trained up a bit. With a mum an' dad like yours, what else would yeh be? An' I reckon it's abou' time yeh both read yer letters."

Harry and Y/n stretched out their hands at last to take the yellowish envelope, addressed in emerald green to Mr. H. Potter and Mr. Y/I Potter, The Floor, Hut-on-the-Rock, The Sea. Y/n pulled out his letter and read:

HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY

Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore

(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)

Dear Mr. Potter,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.

Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31.

Yours sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall,

Deputy Headmistress

Questions exploded inside Y/n's head like fireworks and he couldn't decide which to ask first. After a few minutes, he stammered, "What does it mean, they await my owl?" Harry nodded his head, as if he had the same question in his green eyes.

"Gallopin' Gorgons, that reminds me," said Hagrid, clapping a hand to his forehead with enough force to knock over a cart-horse, and from yet another pocket inside his overcoat, he pulled an owl — a real, live, rather ruffled- looking owl — a long quill, and a roll of parchment. With his tongue between his teeth he scribbled a note that Harry and Y/n could read upside down:

Dear Professor Dumbledore,

Given Harry and Y/n their letters.

Taking them both to buy their things tomorrow.

Weather's horrible. Hope you're well.

Hagrid

Hagrid rolled up the note, gave it to the owl, which clamped it in its beak, went to the door, and threw the owl out into the storm. Then he came back and sat down as though this was as normal as talking on the telephone. Harry realized his mouth was open and closed it quickly.

"Where was I?" said Hagrid, but at that moment, Uncle Vernon, still ashen-faced but looking very angry, moved into the firelight. "They're not going," he said. Hagrid grunted. "I'd like ter see a great Muggle like you stop them," he said.

"A what?" asked Y/n, interested. "A Muggle," said Hagrid, "it's what we call non-magic folk like them. An' it's your bad luck you and your brother grew up in a family o' the biggest Muggles I ever laid eyes on."

"We swore when we took them in we'd put a stop to that rubbish," said Uncle Vernon, "swore we'd stamp it out of them! Wizard indeed!"

"You knew?" said Harry. "You knew I'm―We're― a wizard?"

"Knew!" shrieked Aunt Petunia suddenly. "Knew! Of course we knew! How could you and your brother not be, my dratted sister being what she was? Oh, she got a letter just like that and disappeared off to that — that school — and came home every vacation with her pockets full of frog spawn, turning teacups into rats. I was the only one who saw her for what she was — a freak! But for my mother and father, oh no, it was Lily this and Lily that. They were proud of having a witch in the family!" She stopped to draw a deep breath and then went ranting on. It seemed she had been wanting to say all this for years.

"Then she met that Potter at school and they left and got married and had you both, and of course I knew both of you would be just the same, just as strange, just as — as — abnormal; and then, if you please, she went and got herself blown up and we got landed with you two!"

Harry and Y/n had gone very white. As soon as Y/n found his voice, he said, "Blown up? You told me they died in a car crash!"

"CAR CRASH!" roared Hagrid, jumping up so angrily that the Dursleys scuttled back to their corner. "How could a car crash kill Lily an' James Potter? It's an outrage! A scandal! Harry and Y/n Potter not knowin' their own story when every kid in our world knows their name!"

"But why? What happened?" Harry asked urgently. The anger faded from Hagrid's face. He looked suddenly anxious. "I never expected this," he said in a low, worried voice. "I had no idea, when Dumbledore told me there might be trouble gettin' hold of yeh both, how much yeh didn't know. Ah, Harry, Y/n, I don' know if I'm the right person ter tell yeh — but someone's gotta — yeh can't go off ter Hogwarts not knowin'." He threw a dirty look at the Dursleys.

"Well, it's best yeh know as much as I can tell yeh — mind, I can't tell yeh everythin', it's a great myst'ry, parts of it. . . ." He sat down, stared into the fire for a few seconds, and then said, "It begins, I suppose, with — with a person called — but it's incredible yeh don't know his name, everyone in our world knows —"

"Who?" asked Harry.

"Well — I don' like sayin' the name if I can help it. No one does."

"Why not?" he asked again.

"Gulpin' gargoyles, Harry, people are still scared. Blimey, this is difficult. See, there was this wizard who went . . . bad. As bad as you could go. Worse. Worse than worse. His name was . . ." Hagrid gulped, but no words came out.

"Could you write it down?" Y/n suggested, sweetly.

"Nah — can't spell it. All right — Voldemort." Hagrid shuddered.

"Don' make me say it again. Anyway, this — this wizard, about twenty years ago now, started lookin' fer followers. Got 'em, too — some were afraid, some just wanted a bit o' his power, 'cause he was gettin' himself power, all right. Dark days, Harry, Y/n. Didn't know who ter trust, didn't dare get friendly with strange wizards or witches . . . terrible things happened. He was takin' over. 'Course, some stood up to him — an' he killed 'em. Horribly. One o' the only safe places left was Hogwarts. Reckon Dumbledore's the only one You- Know-Who was afraid of. Didn't dare try takin' the school, not jus' then, anyway.

"Now, yer mum an' dad were as good a witch an' wizard as I ever knew. Head boy an' girl at Hogwarts in their day! Suppose the myst'ry is why You- Know-Who never tried to get 'em on his side before . . . probably knew they were too close ter Dumbledore ter want anythin' ter do with the Dark Side.

"Maybe he thought he could persuade 'em . . . maybe he just wanted 'em outta the way. All anyone knows is, he turned up in the village where yer both was all living, on Halloween ten years ago. Yeh both was just a year old. He came ter yer house an'— an'— "

Hagrid suddenly pulled out a very dirty, spotted handkerchief and blew his nose with a sound like a foghorn.

"Sorry," he said. "But it's that sad — knew yer mum an' dad, an' nicer people yeh couldn't find — anyway . . .

"You-Know-Who killed 'em. An' then — an' this is the real myst'ry of the thing — he tried to kill yeh both, too. Wanted ter make a clean job of it, I suppose, or maybe he just liked killin' by then. But he couldn't do it. Never wondered how you and Y/n got that mark on yer forehead? That was no ordinary cut. That's what yeh get when a powerful, evil curse touches yeh — took care of yer mum an' dad an' yer house, even — but it didn't work on yeh both, an' that's why yer famous, Harry, Y/n. No one ever lived after he decided ter kill 'em, no one except you two, an' he'd killed some o' the best witches an' wizards of the age — the McKinnons, the Bones, the Prewetts — an' you two was only a baby, an' you lived."

Something very painful was going on in Harry's and Y/n's mind. As Hagrid's story came to a close, both boys saw again the blinding flash of green light, more clearly than they had ever remembered it before — and Y/n remembered something else, for the first time in his life: a high, cold, cruel laugh that sent shivers down Y/n's spine.

Hagrid was watching him sadly.

"Took the two of yeh from the ruined house myself, on Dumbledore's orders. Brought yeh ter this lot . . ."

"Load of old tosh," said Uncle Vernon. Harry jumped; he had almost forgotten that the Dursleys were there. Y/n however, glared at hit fat uncle, fury in his e/c eyes.

Uncle Vernon certainly seemed to have got back his courage, thought Y/n as he watched his uncle. He was glaring at Hagrid and his fists were clenched.

"Now, you listen here, boys," he snarled, "I accept there's something strange about the two of you, probably nothing a good beating wouldn't have cured — and as for all this about your parents, well, they were weirdos, no denying it, and the world's better off without them in my opinion — asked for all they got, getting mixed up with these wizarding types; just what I expected, always knew they'd come to a sticky end —"

But at that moment, Hagrid leaped from the sofa and drew a battered pink umbrella from inside his coat. Pointing this at Uncle Vernon like a sword, he said, "I'm warning you, Dursley — I'm warning you — one more word . . ."

In danger of being speared on the end of an umbrella by a bearded giant, Uncle Vernon's courage failed again; he flattened himself against the wall and fell silent.

"That's better," said Hagrid, breathing heavily and sitting back down on the sofa, which this time sagged right down to the floor.

Harry and Y/n, meanwhile, still had questions to ask, hundreds of them.

"But what happened to Vol-, sorry — I mean, You-Know-Who?"

"Good question, Harry. Disappeared. Vanished. Same night he tried ter kill you both. Makes yeh even more famous. That's the biggest myst'ry, see . . . he was gettin' more an' more powerful — why'd he go?

"Some say he died. Codswallop, in my opinion. Dunno if he had enough human left in him to die. Some say he's still out there, bidin' his time, like, but I don' believe it. People who was on his side came back ter ours. Some of 'em came outta kinda trances. Don' reckon they could've done if he was comin' back.

"Most of us reckon he's still out there somewhere but lost his powers. Too weak to carry on. 'Cause somethin' about you both finished him, Harry, Y/n. There was somethin' goin' on that night he hadn't counted on — I dunno what it was, no one does — but somethin' about you two stumped him, all right."

Hagrid looked at the twins with warmth and respect blazing in his eyes, but Harry and Y/n, instead of feeling pleased and proud, felt quite sure there had been a horrible mistake. A wizard? Them? How could they possibly be? They'd spent their life being clouted by Dudley and bullied by Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon; if they were really wizards, why hadn't they been turned into warty toads every time they'd tried to lock him and Harry in their cupboard? If they'd once defeated the greatest sorcerer in the world, how come Dudley had always been able to kick them around like a football?

"Hagrid," said Harry quietly, "I think you must have made a mistake. I don't think we can be wizards." To his and Y/n's surprise, Hagrid chuckled. "Not a wizard, eh? Never made things happen when you was scared or angry?"

Y/n's brows furrowed on his forehead as he thought about all the unexplained things he and Harry did in their life. While Y/n was thinking, his eyes glued to his feet, Harry looked into the fire. Now he came to think about it . . . every odd thing that had ever made his aunt and uncle furious with him and Y/n had happened when they, Harry and Y/n, had been upset or angry . . . chased by Dudley's gang, they had somehow found himself out of their reach . . . dreading going to school with that ridiculous haircut, they'd managed to make it grow back . . . and the very last time Dudley had hit him and Y/n, hadn't they got their revenge, without even realizing they were doing it? Hadn't he set a boa constrictor on him?

Harry looked at his brother and saw that Y/n had a small smile forming on his face. He gave his twin a smile and Y/n's smile became wider and they looked back at Hagrid, smiling, and saw that Hagrid was positively beaming at them both.

"See?" said Hagrid. "Harry and Y/n Potter, not a wizard — you wait, you'll be right famous at Hogwarts."

But Uncle Vernon wasn't going to give in without a fight.

"Haven't I told you they're not going?" he hissed. "They're going to Stonewall High and they'll be grateful for it. I've read those letters and they both need all sorts of rubbish — spell books and wands and —"

"If they wants ter go, a great Muggle like you won't stop them," growled Hagrid. "Stop Lily an' James Potter's son's goin' ter Hogwarts! Yer mad. Their name's been down ever since they was born. They're off ter the finest school of witchcraft and wizardry in the world. Seven years there and he won't know himself. He'll be with youngsters of his own sort, fer a change, an' they'll be under the greatest headmaster Hogwarts ever had, Albus Dumbled —"

"I AM NOT PAYING FOR SOME CRACKPOT OLD FOOL TO TEACH THEM MAGIC TRICKS!" yelled Uncle Vernon.

But he had finally gone too far. Hagrid seized his umbrella and whirled it over his head, "NEVER —" he thundered, "—INSULT—ALBUS—DUMBLEDORE—IN—FRONT—OF—ME!"

He brought the umbrella swishing down through the air to point at Dudley — there was a flash of violet light, a sound like a firecracker, a sharp squeal, and the next second, Dudley was dancing on the spot with his hands clasped over his fat bottom, howling in pain. When he turned his back on them, Harry and Y/n saw a curly pig's tail poking through a hole in his trousers. Uncle Vernon roared. Pulling Aunt Petunia and Dudley into the other room, he cast one last terrified look at Hagrid and slammed the door behind them.

Hagrid looked down at his umbrella and stroked his beard.

"Shouldn'ta lost me temper," he said ruefully. "But it didn't work, anyway. Meant ter turn him into a pig, but I suppose he was so much like a pig anyway, there wasn't much left ter do." He cast a sideways look at the boys under his bushy eyebrows.

"Be grateful if yeh didn't mention that ter anyone at Hogwarts," he said. "I'm — er — not supposed ter do magic, strictly speakin'. I was allowed ter do a bit ter follow yeh an' get yer letters to yeh an' stuff — one o' the reasons I was so keen ter take on the job —"

"Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry, making Y/n elbow his brother in the rips. Harry gave his twin a glare, but he wasn't looking at Harry. No, Y/n was staring at Hagrid.

"Oh, well — I was at Hogwarts meself but I — er — got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wand in half an' everything. But Dumbledore let me stay on as gamekeeper. Great man, Dumbledore."

"Why were you expelled?" asked Y/n, curiosity getting the better of him.

"It's gettin' late and we've got lots ter do tomorrow," said Hagrid loudly. "Gotta get up ter town, get all yer books an' that."

He took off his thick black coat and threw it at Harry.

"You both can kip under that," he said. "Don' mind if it wriggles a bit, I think I still got a couple o' dormice in one o' the pockets."

Once they were settled down for bed, with the loud sores of Hagrid occupying the hut, Harry and Y/n laid next to one another with Hagrid's coat over them. Y/n's left arm was bent and behind his head as he looked up at the ceiling. Thoughts filled his head, thoughts about his parents, this magic school called Hogwarts, how he and his twin were wizards. It was all so overwhelming, yet exciting at the same time.

"Harry?" he whispered into the night. Harry grunted, letting Y/n know that he was awake. "Are you okay?" he asked. Harry sighed and shrugged his shoulders. "I honestly don't know, Y/n. It's all so crazy, yet fantastic at the same time. But what Hagrid said about Voldemort killing mum and dad frightens me. What if he's still out there?"

"I don't know Harry. But I do know that I'll always be there for you. By your side. Always."

Harry turned his head to look at Y/n with a smile on his face. "Thank you Y/n." he closed his eyes and mumbled: "Night," and Y/n smiled at his twin before replying quietly. "Night, Harry," the eleven-year-old boy closed his eyes and fell into a deep sleep, dreaming of a woman with red hair and green eyes singing softly into the dead of night.

HP Story Ideas

Little Witch (Tom Riddle x Malfoy Reader)

Ngl the only good thing coming from disney Star Wars is that people are thirsty for the characters which then leads to more sw x reader one shots and stories. Yay!! I honestly can’t wait for the obi-wan show bc once it airs and everyone see’s the hottie obi-wan is, there will be a boom of obi-wan x readers, mark my words. It happened with boba (I was looking for some content with him and only found like a handful before he showed up on mando season 2), and soon it’ll happen with obi-wan. Hehehe. I shall be waiting, muhahaha.

(I personally hated the book of boba fett and I wish it was good but it wasn’t. I’ve read better fan fictions where boba takes over tatootine. the best part of that show was shirtless boba. that’s it. sorry.)

When you find a fanfic writer you like: