Miami's Offense Too Good, New Orleans Defense Not Even Close

Miami's offense too good, New Orleans defense not even close

I just realized that i dont really want to work for some companies when i sent email this morning. Imagined how doomed i was to not be able to succumb to the standardized imaginary vision of comfortable success in the life of an average adult. I just really fear the concept of working, search for a job, making CV, compete, this and that. It got worst because its already final year of college. I just cant imagine myself working in office like environment helPpP. So in other words, i actually glad i dont have to do internship this holiday. The more i read Murakami the more i like to be one of his odd characters or just living his laid back life really. I actually dreamed of being a writer back in the days. But hey now im just a rly dysfunctional adults unable to do anything. So do you know that many things in my life always take turns like one day i like chocolate and now i despise that and once i hate sandra bullock and now im watching every one of her movies. Like do you get what i meant? Im afraid that one day i get off from some office and regret it or the other way around because nothing is forever. But this is my life and my mode to making money we are talking about. I cant afford any other financial uncertainties in my life. God somehow i want to dissappear all at once. And reincarnate as a flying bison or water. That would be useful right and easy and dont have to worry about world's injustice and making money and all the shit. I really like long words do i?

Twitter gets boring lately. Too many fucked up politics, too many disheartening news, too many hateful people.

17 September 2019

Pada pukul 8:56 17 September 2019, sehari setelah ulang tahunku yang ke-21 aku sadar. Tentang mengapa aku tidak akan berkembang disini. Ini memang menarik tetapi aku sendiri pesimis tentang progres positif yang akan dihasilkan negeri ini perihal kejahatan. Atau mungkin sejak awal aku memang melihat kejahatan sebagai sesuatu yang sulit dibenahi. Sehingga aku pun semakin kesini semakin bingung dan acuh. Atau gabungan dari keduanya

I take it's heat vs nets in the east. Unless celtics become more resilient than what they appear to be, it's a clean path. and yes im forgetting bucks purposely.

There is always something eerie about Justin Vernon's work. He shaped sadness and tragedies and loneliness there is in this world in a very welcoming way. Ever since childhood days, we were often taught that happiness is what we should looked for in this world. Parents happy when their child happy, the child have to be grateful and make their parents happy. But the thing is, the world doesn't works like that. So when we faced with despair, anger, disappointment, and eventually anxiety we left alienated. We are confused. And thought what has gone wrong? What is our fault? Why does the world has to be so cruel? Etc. Because, we were never taught that there are times we are loss, we failed and when that times come we are consumed by sadness and tears as well as blank stares. It is ordinary. It is allowed to feel all those emotions. And it's just going to be a part of who you are and it will be the fragments that hold your life together. It is what makes you, you. Justin Vernon's song welcoming that ambiance. Add beautiful melody and soothing voice and you have it, your magical favorite singer. Truly magical.