Once Believed To Be A Mysteriously Not Dead Plesiosaur, The Loch Ness Monster Has Finally Been Unmasked

Once believed to be a mysteriously not dead plesiosaur, the Loch Ness Monster has finally been unmasked as various sightings of Double-crested Cormorants. The classic photograph of ‘Nessie’ taken at a distance of over a hundred yards turns out to have been in reality a poorly-focussed cormorant mere feet away.

Much like the fabled star captains peppered throughout history, the motto of the Kookaburra is 'Never give up, never surrender'.

Some trees have evolved their seed pods to resemble caterpillars in order to trick particularly stupid birds (like this extraordinarily dense chickadee) into distributing seeds.

More commonly known as Goth Turkeys, Trinidadian Piping Guans are critically endangered. Many attribute this to a general decline in popularity of the Gothic genre as a whole, but in reality it is simply the perennial conflict between Man and Nature. Specifically, the mating call for this darkly romantic bird sounds uncannily like Robert Smith wordlessly crooning at all hours of the night and day, while the locals prefer Siouxsie Sioux to the exclusion of all other vocals.

Like their distant cousins the Corvids, Royal Flycatchers are also tool-users. Unlike crows and ravens however, Royal Flycatchers use their beaks and talons to fashion elaborate headgear in an effort to become the 'top dog' of the flycatcher world. The more resplendent the crown, the higher status of the bird.

To the surprise of nobody, ducks are assholes.