The Roomy Dodge

“The Roomy Dodge”

— “yesterday we discovered the Victorian word for ‘manspreading’”

my commitment to catch and release currently sorely tested by the two dozen baby spiders I’m finding per diem crawling around the ceiling light casting tiny skittering shadows, stretching elaborate silk bridgeworks like it’s a fucking ewok village up there

Prone to attacks of crippling melancholy, Clark’s Nutcracker lives on the lonesome edge of the Corvid family. Too small to be considered a true Crow and lacking the distinctive crest of the Jay, this outcast bird compensates for their rejection by clinging to the concept of solitude and can often be found contemplating that which has succumbed to the inevitable clutches of entropy. While they refuse to admit it, they harbour a deep grudge against Grackles for being more accepted at Family gatherings.

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and off i go to north carolina! fingers crossed i dont get murdered by pat mccrory

Shout out to all the hairy girls and by hairy girls I don’t mean those white hairy-on-purpose-to-make-a-statement-while-still-being-viewed-as-traditionally-feminine girls I mean the brown girls, black girls, jewish girls, trans girls, and the otherwise these-are-my-genetics-and-i-am-worthwhile-and-important-as-shit-regardless-of-what-I-do-to-my-body girls

my phone’s too old to play pokemon go, so i guess i’ll play the next best thing

p.s. fat pikachu supremacy