Once Driven To Near-extinction By Cordwainers, Shoebills Have Made A Considerable Comeback And Are Now

Once driven to near-extinction by cordwainers, Shoebills have made a considerable comeback and are now listed as Vulnerable. Hunted for the upper portion of their beaks, these birds can credit their remarkable recovery to the adoption of HDPE as the material of choice for lasts. While they are still occasionally hunted by bespoke shoe artisans, this practice is now rare enough to have a negligible impact on population levels.

On Thanksgiving I was incredibly lucky and got to meet several chickens! Top row is two pictures of Gracious, middle row left-to-right is Houdini (so named because he managed to escape a fox attack that killed a bunch of other chickens), Edward Scissorbeak (his beak grows crooked even after the people who keep him tried getting it to grow correctly so they give him special food and make sure he can eat) and Fawkes (named after the phoenix), bottom row is the ridiculously floofsome Ghost.

First revealed as a hoax perpetrated by Carl Linnaeus in 1758, Great Bitterns continue to be reported by novice birdwatchers an astonishing two and a half centuries later. This peculiar endurance is in large part due to veteran birders building replicas out of feathers, discarded beaks, and particularly hostile rocks to fool credulous newbies. Unfortunately for prank-hearted birding mentors, this practice is dying out as the newest generation of birdwatchers can trivially fact-check their existence through the use of internet-connected pocket telephones.

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Of great interest to scientists studying quantum phenomena, Horses are one of eight known multidimensional “keystone” species extant across the explored multiverse. Unlike most fauna whose multiplanar existences branch as they age, Horses begin their lives simultaneously existing across nearly infinite timelines which gradually collapse into a single life-line or “trunk”. Early research suggests this ‘backwards’ tree-of-life to be an evolutionary counter to their otherwise astonishing fragility; by starting at a massive existence advantage these quantum-entangled Equidae are better able to weather their nearly constant murder on the extradimensional level. Unfortunately, this has the knock-on effect of every Horse having total awareness of their thousand daily deaths. This is why a Horse may suddenly startle at a discarded shopping bag or refuse to enter a trailer for transport; in a close worldline that Horse was consumed by a carnivorous Land-jellyfish or maliciously led into the maw of a Deathslug worshiped by the local human-analogue.

The Reclaimant

not a religion for the squeamish

initiation severity varies by location

post-apocalyptic worldview

usually led by Turkey Vultures

Approximately sixty-six million years ago, a god called The Braggart would showboat around, dazzling everybody with their exquisitely-patterned feathers and spinning complicated lies of great deeds. Approximately sixty-five million years ago the Primary Light began falling to earth, lighting the very sky on fire and burning up the ground, threatening to plunge the world into eternal darkness if it should ever land. Faced with the possibility of being revealed a coward and liar, The Braggart chose to actually risk everything to try and save the world.

With a powerful leap they took to the sky, using the rising heat from the burning lands to propel them closer and closer to the furious pyre that threatened to engulf all of existence. With every great flap of their wings a little bit more of the intricate filigrees adorning them were burned away, and when their head finally butted against the falling furnace all of the perfectly-styled feathers adorning their pate were seared into oblivion. Despite the pain and loss, the god kept flapping and pushing back against the descent until eventually they managed to push it back above the sky where it belonged.

Expecting cheers and laudatory exclamations upon their return, The Braggart instead found that most everybody who knew of the god had perished in the flames. Worse yet, the few souls who had survived the cataclysm were trapped under the smoldering corpses, unable to free themselves. So, The Braggart abandoned their previous life of tall tales and finery, and dedicated themselves to liberating the little ones from this terrible burden. Thus began their new life as The Reclaimant, helping clear out the space taken by the dead so that the living may have room to grow and flourish anew.

To followers of The Reclaimant, the world has already ended and they believe it is their duty to try and make room to grow from the ashes. Many adherents (like the Turkey Vulture) go so far as to remove their own voices to prevent braggadocio about the good they do in the world, but this is a custom that is generally confined to the Americas.