After Growing Out Of Their Childhood Full Of Unfortunate Musical Tastes, Great Crested Grebes Will Often

After growing out of their childhood full of unfortunate musical tastes, Great Crested Grebes will often smoothly transition into cosplay. Like their distant cousins the Royal Terns, they tend towards cosplay of characters from moving picture shows or television serials. Above, a Great Crested Grebe parent pretends to be the Dilophosaurus which kills Dennis Nedry in the smash-hit docudrama Jurassic Park directed by Steven Spielberg.

"Just passing through?” the Rooster asks, wary of your intentions. Nobody has moved to this town in twelve years, not since the mine was worked barren. The Rooster knows everybody here, working as he does in the gas station on what passes for a main street, and he does not recognize you. He also knows the sort of trouble a body can cause when they’ve no ties that bind to a location, and the silence following his question grows deafening. 

"Yeah, uh, yes sir,” you stammer, wholly unprepared for the distrust palpable in what would be otherwise an innocent question, “I’m on my way to ████████ and thought it might be best to fill the tank up now so i can head straight home after.” 

Two slips of paper are slid across the counter: the merchant’s copy of the credit card transaction for you to sign and a copy for you to keep. You autograph quick as you can; the silence again attacking your eardrums is broken only when you hand over your signature. “I reckon you’re right,” the Rooster says, “It’d be best you not stop in here again.”

You leave.

40% of all perched bird sightings in North America are in fact fraudulent due to the work of a rogue Disney Imagineer. Fired for their inability to synchronize motion to audio, they have dedicated their life to proving themself competent by building and installing thousands of animatronic birds in the wild. Above, a facsimile of a Rose-Breasted Grosbeak bobs and sways a half-step out of time with the accompanying audio track.

Rose-breasted Grosbeak

Military Ridge Trail, WI, 5-16-17

no update today, i spent a lot of time at what has turned into my actual for real pays human dollars job this weekend. as a result i am too exhausted to dig into the vastly disorganized pile of cardboard boxes filled to the brim with field data and marginally-legible summarizations of other research written on scraps of fast food wrappers, an assortment of used napkins, and the interiors of empty cigarette packets, all of which comprise the sum total of all knowledge here at The Academy of Bird Sciences. by way of an apology, please enjoy the above photographs depicting the before and current state of the greenhouse.

Rainbow land crabs are the official mascots of Pride Month! These clever crustaceans were chosen for their many similarities to members of the gender and sexual minority alliance, like: a bisexual’s ability to dig comfortable homes in moist soil, a bright blue carapace common to so many nonbinary genders, and very obviously the glistening red maxillipeds sported by both gays and lesbians.

Known for their aerial prowess and territorial nature, Ospreays can often be found nesting atop man-made structures like power poles, antenna towers, and turnbuckles near large bodies of water. While their diet is primarily known to be pescivorous, some unusual specimens have been observed enjoying a cheeky nando’s or digging into a good curry. Above, a male Ospreay hovers in the air, fierce talons at the ready to attack an unwitting Mandrews which has wandered too close to the Ospreay’s nest.