Jonah Hcs Plz

Jonah hcs plz 🤭

he was also a lifeguard and swimmer as a teenager (part of my elaborate athletic rivalry headcanons dont worry abt it,, also just so tall he's probably a 50 free and 100 free state champ tbh)

he is autistic and brain damaged, i thought maybe he had dyscalculia but in helsinki it looks like he's actually pretty good at the math stuff ? idk that ones up in the air for me

the math teacher stepdad was okay but i think his other stepdads were rly shitty, his mom also probably had some mh issues that like caused her to seek out shitty men and all that clearly affected jonah

i feel like he was poor growing up like his mom has decent money now based on her house but i feel like most rich kids would've gotten braces if they had an underbite he clearly didnt? but i also know ppl who are over like 35 now and grew up rich wouldnt have gotten braces anyways sometimes. and the giant weird portrait of him in his moms house is also like a rich kid thing i feel like? i am not well acquainted w 20th century economics or the new hampshire housing market so idk. whatevs

i go back and forth on whether he was popular in school i can see it either way but him being bullied and also him being super popular are both my headcanons i guess

he is not In the manosphere but he in the periphery in like s1 the way he talks about women being eights or whatever makes me think he does. mewing or whatever. he almost gets into bonesmashing but richard dissuades him

he has a stupid fast metabolism in addition to just being really tall and he is literally always eating something like he is rarely seen eating in the show but i feel like 90% of the time he has some food in his hand or in his mouth

before selina knew . his personality. she def had a crush on him (maybe still does kinda sorta) basically canon when she first meets him in the flashback

that's all i can think of right now but i have so many

commissioning from @neildrawn he is genuinely an amazing person and also amazing artist go look at his blog

obviously some characters were left out but. i dont like all the characters so. and theres selina and danjonah content for me to stare at already so idrc about them

i accidentally dehydrated carrots in a classroom at my school and found them months later and thought it was our teacher's weed or shrooms she was hiding

x

cliff from cheers is autistic af

Cliff Claven from Cheers has autism!

yknow how like. when you ask someone what u should do and they tell u "do [blank]" it makes you realize you don't actually want to do [blank]

i just scoop money out of an endless pit of money when i need money tho so i will be comming more art from this lovely young man and someday i will get a drawing of sue,,, today i will get a drawing of leon west. or roger furlong. hhhhh i still cant decide i will flip some coins

commissioning from @neildrawn he is genuinely an amazing person and also amazing artist go look at his blog

obviously some characters were left out but. i dont like all the characters so. and theres selina and danjonah content for me to stare at already so idrc about them

what r ur hcs for Dan im curious

at one point i actually had a list somewhere of all my veep headcanons but i made it in my notes app for some reason and its buried under notes about my real life but heres what i got off the top of my head

he was a lifeguard as a teenager (he has lifeguard energy idfk)

he was a competitive swimmer as a teenager (again just vibes, he was a god at 400IM)

bpd (purely projection, i feel it's based in canon but i don't think someone without bpd would see it)

substance abuse (so many people in this show are canon irresponsible w prescription meds i mean dc is a stressful place)

he and selina fucked like years ago but she doesn't remember (based on when they almost fuck like idk why i get the vibe that it wasnt the first time)

he had a shit childhood this is basically canon

he has depression+anxiety+bpd (purely based on vibes)

i think he is a lot goofier than he lets on like i think when he is very comfortable w someone he is v silly but he isnt v comfortable w anyone, i just think no one who isnt a goofy lil goober would be able to write an extended parody of 50 ways to leave your lover hes a goofy lil guy okay, he is also rly quick witted and funny like in an alternate universe he is a writer on snl, he's just chandler bing if chandler had rizz

post-canon he retires early after making a shit-ton of money and just kinda travels about w hot women (i have not seen s7 maybe this is canon i know they have a peek at every character's future in the last ep but whatever)

i think he does have like literally a dozen illegitimate children and the doctor at the fertility clinic with marjorie and catherine was just incorrect and the test was a fluke bc didnt he get amy pregnant ?? idk i haven't seen s7

he has some kind of weird daddy issues thing with kent, in the early seasons he rly wants to be friends w kent (i read some fic abt this idfk) and he just wants to go on a little boat trip (fishing trip...? idk i just know hes good at fishing so he mustve done it as a kid right?) w his father figure (the seasickness thing contraindicates this but whatevs)

his brother has kids and dan is surprisingly good w his nieces and nephews like once they get older and theyre like young adults he is the cool uncle who will let them throw parties in his beach house and if his niece has like a shitty bf dan will punch him

idk i have so many headcanons these are just what i could come up with rn