Jonah Ryan - Tumblr Posts
Jonah hcs plz 🤭
he was also a lifeguard and swimmer as a teenager (part of my elaborate athletic rivalry headcanons dont worry abt it,, also just so tall he's probably a 50 free and 100 free state champ tbh)
he is autistic and brain damaged, i thought maybe he had dyscalculia but in helsinki it looks like he's actually pretty good at the math stuff ? idk that ones up in the air for me
the math teacher stepdad was okay but i think his other stepdads were rly shitty, his mom also probably had some mh issues that like caused her to seek out shitty men and all that clearly affected jonah
i feel like he was poor growing up like his mom has decent money now based on her house but i feel like most rich kids would've gotten braces if they had an underbite he clearly didnt? but i also know ppl who are over like 35 now and grew up rich wouldnt have gotten braces anyways sometimes. and the giant weird portrait of him in his moms house is also like a rich kid thing i feel like? i am not well acquainted w 20th century economics or the new hampshire housing market so idk. whatevs
i go back and forth on whether he was popular in school i can see it either way but him being bullied and also him being super popular are both my headcanons i guess
he is not In the manosphere but he in the periphery in like s1 the way he talks about women being eights or whatever makes me think he does. mewing or whatever. he almost gets into bonesmashing but richard dissuades him
he has a stupid fast metabolism in addition to just being really tall and he is literally always eating something like he is rarely seen eating in the show but i feel like 90% of the time he has some food in his hand or in his mouth
before selina knew . his personality. she def had a crush on him (maybe still does kinda sorta) basically canon when she first meets him in the flashback
that's all i can think of right now but i have so many
torn between the urge to hate s6 for reducing dan's screentime to him occasionally talking about fucking his coworkers and the urge to love s6 because dan is living his best slutty life and congressman!jonah has better hair/lack of hair than his weird bangs
i need everyone to remember that this is the era of tumblr jonah ryan was on
[bbc sherlock queerbait discourse] -jonah ryan, probably
With the Reddit 3rd party app crackdown and the ongoing horseshit Elon Musk is pulling with "X", I realize a lot of people here might be pretty new. So I put together a quick and easy guide for using Tumblr for anyone new who might need it.
Tumblr was made by David Karp and we call him Daddy around these parts (^///^)
You are not safe from fandom-gif attacks ( •̀ ω •́ )✧
Speaking of fandoms, the tumblr fandoms are always ready to grab their [object] and go to war against the Beliebers ╰(*°▽°*)╯
The only safe refuge from fandom tumblr is with hipster tumblr. If you can get a cool alt-girl to take you under her wing, you might be safe... for now (●'◡'●)
You will watch the first episode of Supernatural... and then you're part of the Winchester family. (Or if you skip right to season 4, we don't blame you. It's where Destiel starts (*/ω＼*))
This is not a glomp-free zone ☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆
Use missing e. It's the only way to make Tumblr useable on Internet Explorer (this is the most popular browser and you're probably using it right now) :-D
Our only adult-supervision is John Green... and even then does that REALLY count as supervision? DFTBA! φ(゜▽゜*)♪
Just this once, everyone lives. It's bigger on the inside. Elementary, my dear Watson.
If you see Misha Collins staring at you, the polite response is "Saving people, hunting things, the family business." O.O
I might lose followers for this, but this blog supports gay rights, and yours should too (14 gifs of Sherlock and The Hobbit)
Tumblr will teach you more about the world than you'll ever learn in school. ○( ＾皿＾)っ
Tread carefully... we have teh yaoiz O.o. Oh you don't know what that means? Well let's just say... it's full of lemons here.
If you see Hannibal Lector in a flower crown, tell him it looks very nice. His boyfriend Will Graham made it for him. (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)
Do not enter the dog park. The dog park will not harm you.
jonah ryan's playlist (pt 1/?)
♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ ﾟ.
kyle - negative xp
scott pilgrim vs. the world ruined a whole generation of women - negative xp
life is an rpg and i fucked up my build - negative xp
loser - beck
what i got - sublime
boyz-n-the-hood - eazy-e
fuck tha police - n.w.a.
my band - d12
my name is - eminem
the real slim shady - eminem
santeria - sublime
paul revere - beastie boys
sabotage - beastie boys
cést la vie - yung gravy, bbno$, rich brian
you need jesus - babygravy
headcanon: jonah ryan went to dashcon
jonah ryan is canonically a certified tumblrer
consequences of that include:
he at least knows about dashcon
he may be a homestuck
he may have been into superwholock
he may have even been a oncester
i dont know theres so many ramifications to tumblr!jonah i can't even get into all of them or my brain will explode
with the premise that jonah ryan went to dashcon... what panels did he attend/plan to attend?? what lies did he tell ben to get a weekend off work to attend?? i assume he was a brony and went to some mlp panels but that goes practically without saying. i can only hope he went to "British Men With ... Cheekbones"
oh my fuck i hope to god he's not an omegaverser
well into season 6 and im enjoying it but my theatre kid ASS is like "holy shit why is no one talking about the fact that jonah is a theatre kid and dan may have outed himself as one"
jonah referenced a musical two episodes in a row (hamilton then turn off the dark), in the latter DAN KNEW EXACTLY WHAT HE WAS TALKING ABOUT AND KNEW THE SHOW HAD BEEN CLOSED FOR YEARS THESE ARE JUST UR TOXIC THEATRE KID BOYFRIENDS ISTG
we already knew jonah was a tumblrer and we've al seen the way he dresses in early seasons with his sweater vests that is only one step away hehe
i have complicated thoughts about theatre fan!dan that im too tired to write out but maybe later 💀
out of curiousity what are the references/episodes?
jonah ryan the anciv ❤️❤️
(i think i am experiencing the most deranged form of fandom)
so many epic communism arguments that boil down to like someone noticing that a certain organisational tool or form is currently used by capitalist states (correct observation) & then deciding that means the form in itself is autonomously responsible for the contradictions of capitalism (inane idealism)
andrew below deck is jonah ryan if you want more jonad content just watch that fr
maybe not here but he looks EXACTLY like tim simons at some angles
at least when i'm crying IM CRYING IN MY CAR IN WEST WING PARKING energy
day 3 in the comments of "old money tiktok"