This Is Part 8 Of The "What If Yuu Didn't Want To Go Back?" Series!

This is part 8 of the "What if Yuu didn't want to go back?" Series!

(I, the author of this work, do not consent to this work being crossposted/translated without my knowledge or used to train an AI, ever.)

Masterlist

Vil stares for a moment, just a moment, and then smiles. Grim is still looking at me weird, but says nothing.

We leave to eat. Grim's strange looks halt when he sees breakfast: poppyseed bagels with cream cheese and lox. We eat instead of talking, and I take the time to admire just how clean this place is.

Everything is so shiny. There aren't any paintings or pictures, noticeably, but there is a mirror hanging over there. It was probably put there to allow people to look at the oven without having to turn around, given the location and angle.

Looking in the mirror... Hey, it's Korrak and Mandible! And...Rook? Looks like he's intercepting them, too. At least he's giving them food first. Korrak walks toward the stairs with half a poppyseed bagel in hand.

Oh, well. That's none of my business. I'm done with my bagel, though, so it's off to the Backstage Room!

Grim finishes his breakfast on the way, and I brush him until his coat is soft and even. He doesn't complain about me stopping this time, but he does set off on a quest of magically dressing himself.

When I finish my routine, we head off to put my new phone up, and then it's off to History of Magic.

Trappola isn't here yet, surprisingly. I figured he'd've learned his lesson after yesterday, but I guess not. Oh, well. His problem! We'll snitch again if he starts today with a repeat of yesterday.

By the time we sit down and start talking to Deuce, Trappola walks into the room- with a collar on?

"I see your stares. Don't ask."

With that, he sits. Deuce stares right at him for a solid 20 seconds before speaking.

"We don't even have oolong."

"Not what happened."

I sit there, contemplating why this kid is wearing a heart-shaped collar with a lock on it to class. Very much a "Heartslabyul" look, though. Half is black, half is red, and the outlines are gold.

The bells rings, and Trein starts the lesson. I take notes and help Grim do the same with his levitation magic. He picks up on it pretty fast, and his writing is easily legible within 5 minutes.

Crewel gives Trappola a funny look when he walks in, but says nothing and the way he teaches seems normal. This is only the second time I've had him, though.

More note-taking commences. I'm rather tempted to question Trappola where he got that and why he's wearing it, but class is ongoing, so I refrain from asking and make sure Grim does the same. He shoots me dirty looks whenever I close his mouth for him, but he stays quiet.

Grim and I actually manage to stay conscious all through P.E.! That's a win for us.

"What, you think you're special just 'cause you didn't take a nap when you fell?"

"Nope! We think we're special cause we aren't the ones wearing a collar, and one of us is a cat."

Trappola turns bright red. "What the hell?!"

"Mya-ha, that's what you get!"

"He has a point, Ace. How did you get that, anyway?"

"Shut up, Deuce."

"Hey, Trappola, remember that one time you were snarky with Deuce and wound up cleaning all the chairs in Trein's room? I do."

Trappola shuts his mouth, forgets his lesson, and speaks again. "Hey, you can call me 'Ace.' I don't mind. Why do you only ever call me by my last name?"

"That's what the headmage called you during the entrance ceremony. Besides, we also call you 'entrance ceremony claustrophobe.'"

"Behind my back?"

"To your face, entrance ceremony claustrophobe."

"Okay, guys, that's enough."

"Shut it, Deuce."

"Dude, what is your problem?" Evidently, Deuce has finally had enough.

"It probably has something to do with the collar." Okay, being a dick here won't help, but I'm bored and hungry, so I'll care after lunch.

"Yeah, it does!"

"Myeh... I'd just take it off."

"I. Can't."

"Why not?"

"You say that like you don't know."

"They're first years from a different dorm, Ace. Of course they don't know. You have to tell them."

Trappola says nothing. Apparently, that thought didn't occur to him. I'm guessing most of them don't, though.

Trappola sighs, but still doesn't say anything. Deuce, clearly fed up, turns to us. "Our housewarden's signature spell is called 'Off With Your Head,' and he uses it on Heartslabyuls who break the rules. The spell places a collar around the target's neck," Deuce motions to Trappola, "and seals away their magic. I'm not sure what Ace did to get collared, but only Riddle can remove it."

I remember one of the Pomefiore sophomores explained all of the housewardens and dorms to the freshmen, me and Grim included. That's how I know Riddle Rosehearts is the Heartslabyul housewarden, a sophomore in the dorm based on strictness. No wonder, huh?

"Myaah... hey, Redhead, did you complain about yesterday in front of Rosehearts?"

Trappola looks stunned. "Yeah... How'd you know?"

"You swear when you're mad. That's probably banned."

"...You're right."

Grim appears prideful of his accomplishment, chest out and everything. Trappola looks lost. Deuce looks hungry.

"Let's go to lunch. Come on, Ace."

Grim and I wave. "Bye, Deuce! Bye, Trappola!"

The walk back to the dorm is tiring, but it's nice knowing we're just a little step closer to whatever it is we're reaching for.

This is part 15 of the "What if Yuu didn't want to go back?" Series!

(I, the author of this work, do not consent to this work being crossposted/translated without my knowledge or used to train an AI, ever.)

Masterlist

"Heeeey, what club are you guppies joinin'?" Korrak and I ignore the voice. We're not guppies, so that can't be us, right?

"So, when do club meetings start?"

"Heeey, you! With the cat and the rat!" Okay, that guy is probably talking to us.

"W-W-What do you want, minnow?"

Immediately, the teal-haired boy's face twists into one of anger, his mismatched eyes flashing with rage. He leans back, placing his left hand over his right shoulder and separating his lips just enough to expose his triangular teeth to curious eyes.

"What was that, guppy?"

"I a-asked you what you w-w-w-wanted, minnow." Even through his stutter, Korrak sounds confident and dangerous, like he's this six-foot-something a warning.

"I'm no minnow... am I gonna have to squeeze some sense into you?" The yellow shade of his right eye is starting to remind me of a road sign used to warn people about some danger up ahead. I don't show my nerves, though, and Korrak looks fearless.

"What, I need more s-s-sense? You're the o-one who called us guppies." As much as I shouldn't be, I'm exited. Seeing Korrak fight would be awesome, and this dude with the dark stripe in his hair is annoying.

"You're on, minnow."

Korrak extends an arm to the bench, and Mandible takes the opportunity to dismount from his shoulder. Mr. Singular Dark Eye moves to punch him, but Korrak dodges, landing a good couple of punches on his opponent's jaw as he does so.

Teal Hair Boy doesn't even flinch. Instead, he swings another big arm, only to be met square in the golden eye with a fist, head-on.

Minnow flinches. Korrak keeps going, aiming mostly for joints and the back of his opponent's head. Despite the obvious pain he's in, minnow doesn't back down, and keeps swinging, kicking, and doing whatever else he can to try and land a hit.

Eventually, Korrak lands an uppercut square under minnow's jaw. Minnow grabs the back of his collar, much to my horror.

The grin minnow gives Korrak would've made me faint. "I've got ya now, little Angler."

"B-better. I'll give you that. S-still, you lose."

Korrak swings himself upwards, landing a solid kick on his foe's neck. Teal Hair drops him, choking on the force of it all and gasping for breath.

"My, my, Floyd. I haven't seen you in such a terrible condition since we were fry." Someone else has appeared, speaking more formally than Teal Hair. I'll call him Pronouns. Pronouns resembles Teal Hair, in the way your reflection resembles you.

Teal Hair has a dark left eye and a yellow right one, whereas Pronouns has a yellow left eye and a dark right. Additionally, the dark stripe in Teal Hair's hair is on the right side of his face, while Pronouns' is on his left.

"Yeah, yeah... some Angler went and called me a minnow."

Pronouns shakes his head. "I didn't think anyone here could fight you and win. Would you like to visit the nurse?"

"Nah, I'll be juuuuust fine." Teal Hair's voice has reverted to the blithesome tone it was before.

"You're bruising."

"Is that right, Angler?"

"Floyd, come here." Pronouns holds his brother's face up to the light and checks. He sighs. "Brother, you have a black eye. Come on, let's go to the nurse."

"Aw, it's not that bad."

"We're morays. We aren't supposed to bruise."

With that, they leave.

"Way to go, bud! I knew you could do it," Mandible cheers. "You always have been great at that."

I am in awe. That was incredible! Korrak just took on a guy with shoulders twice as broad as his- and won. He got caught, and he still won.

Korrak extends an arm to the bench for Mandible, who climbs back onto his familiar. Both of them then take notice of my staring.

"You w-wanna learn how t-t-t-to do that?"

I can only nod. Korrak laughs, genuine joy bubling up for the brief moment it lasts.

"I'll sh-show you aft-t-ter the det-ention."

"Myaah, dinner!"

Immediately, Korrak and I are running, Grim and Mandible on our shoulders. I turn in our club application on the way, and we run the rest of the way- maybe P.E. is paying off.

Vil is waiting for us when we return to the dorm. "I heard from Octanville's vice housewarden that you," he points an accusatory finger at Korrak, "got into a fight with his brother. Explain.

"Well, s-some guy st-t-t-tarted calling us 'guppies' and ch-challenged me t-t-t-to a fight, so I beat him u-up."

Vil looks astonished. However, before he can comment, Rook materializes with one of his own.

"Oui, Roi de Poison! I saw it all- the grace! The skill! The elegance! Truly, it was magnifiqué!"

Vil pauses. "Rook, are you saying that you saw Floyd Leech get beaten up by a Pomefiore student and you didn't tell me?"

Rook does not pause. "Oui! I was hoping to tell you later."

"...A Pomefiore freshman won a fight against Floyd Leech?"

Rook nods. "Oui!"

Vil, clearly baffled, asks, "How?"

"With agility, cunning, and courage! Beuté!"

"Rook, you are a very unusual person."

Rook's smile remains. "Oui!"

"Myeeh, I'm hungry! This is taking forever! We want French toast, not French talking!"

Mandible and Korrak both burst out laughing. Rooks joins them, and, before I know it, so have I.

"Enough! All of you are permitted to go and eat. Rook, you stay with me. Korrak, meet me after dinner." He pauses, thinking. "And, Grim, French toast is a breakfast food." Only the slight, amused smile on Vil's face and subtly joking tone reveal the intentions behind his words.

"Oui! Roi de Poison, I shall follow your lead! Off to dinner, then?"

Vil nods. "Certainly."

Dinner is po boys. Grim and I eat one each, much to the suprise of Epel.

"Y'all eat way more than I realized! What's th' rush fer, really?" I'd answer if I didn't have a mouthful of food. Epel, noticing this, just shakes his head.

"City folk, I guess... so, anythin' interestin' happen?"

Korrak raises a finger to signal that he has something to say, but too much food in his mouth to say it. He does finish, though.

"I got int-to a fight. Against s-some guy named 'Floyd.' He w-was weird."

I, now finished with my own mouthful, toss my contribution into the ring. "Korrak won. It was great."

Epel shakes his head. "Yuu, yer th' only one t' stay outta trouble, considerin' th' lot o' us."

I nod. "Yep."

"Did ya catch 'is last name? This 'Floyd' guy?"

Grim pauses between bites. "Leech. Why?"

A look of shock stuns onto Epel's face. "Floyd Leech? The Floyd Leech? Tell me ev'rythin'! I been lookin' t' git a piece o' 'im myself!"

Somewhere in the distance, I hear Vil sigh.

My writings: Masterlist

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What if Yuu Didn't Want to Go Back? (Ongoing)

Trigger warnings: pet death, suicidality, swearing, mentions of being forgotten, homelessness, neglect

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

Part 11

Part 12

Part 13

Part 14

Part 15

Part 16

Part 17

Part 18

Part 19

Part 20

Part 21

Part 22

Part 23

Part 24

Everyday Freak of Science (Ongoing)

Trigger warnings: experimentation, eating disorder, flashbacks, vomiting

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Oneshots

Noodling Around

This is part 13 of the "What if Yuu didn't want to go back?" Series!

(I, the author of this work, do not consent to this work being crossposted/translated without my knowledge or used to train an AI, ever.)

Masterlist

My good mood shatters when I hear about Ace.

"You slept where?" My voice, when combined with Grim's and Deuce's, is apparently too overwhelming for the visibly exhausted ginger.

"Outside of Scarabia's dorm building, okay? What do you guys care, anyway?"

"I'm sorry, Ace, is it unusual to be concerned for a friend when you hear he slept outside? And has sand in his hair, and is visibly exhausted?"

Ace just stares at me, wide-eyed and shocked.

"That... is the first time I have ever heard you say we are friends. Or call me by my first name. And... all in the same sentence..."

Hm. Evidently, he needs some time to proceed that. Although... he is right.

Given my recent mental breakdown, though, that's not much of a suprise.

"Is that why you have sand in your hair?"

Ace sighs. "Yes, Grim, that is why I have sand in my hair."

"Myeh. Deuce, do you know why he didn't just sleep in his bed?"

"Yeah..." Deuce pauses, momentarily searching for the right words. "Housewarden Riddle kicked him out of the dorm. It was in the middle of the night, but Ace is very loud, so I heard it anyway."

"Yeah, I stole a tart."

"You got kicked into Scarabia's sand dunes over a tart?"

"Yep. It was only a slice, too."

Wow. Only a slice of a tart, and he dons, not only a collar, but a sandy scalp. Talk about strict. Dare I say, Rosehearts has some serious, unresolved trauma- and it's causing problems for others. Something has to be done.

Thinking about it, though, he probably just needs a hug, some support, someone to show him they care. That's what I needed, and I've been feeling so much better since.

My mind is made up. When I see him, I'm going to let Riddle know he's not alone.

"Alright, class, I hope you all have your textbooks. Open to page 56 and read to page 57. You have twenty minutes."

Ace looks nervous. Deuce notices.

"We can share."

Guess the ginger left all his stuff at his dorm.

After class, Grim and I make the trip to alchemy without talking. Ace and Deuce do not follow suit.

"One slice! I get it, they're probably for the unbirthday party, but still!"

"I'd help you more if I could, Ace."

I spend alchemy trying to cast a spell. I do succeed, but not without narrowly dodging a detention.

It's just a little thing, but it's something, and that's enough- just for now.

P.E. is just pain. While Grim and I stay conscious, Ace does not, and Deuce carries him to the nurse in what I assume to be the same way he carried me and Grim on the first day of classes.

I'd almost forgotten about that. What a throwback. Still, lunch does come.

"Yer tellin' me 'e slept where?"

"Outside of Scarabia's dorm building. He had sand in his hair, none of his stuff... and he passed out during P.E.- Hey, Yuu, hand me another sardine bite."

I comply. "He said it was over a slice of a tart. He got kicked out over a slice of a tart."

"I'm glad w-we're in Pomefiore and not H-H-Heartslabyul, Mandible."

"Same. Gimme another grape, I'm hungry."

"Well, I ain't ever been more glad t' be under Vil's," he pauses, "supervision, I guess."

I nod. We all share a moment of relative silence, our familiars eating quietly as we all stew in our luck and Ace's lack thereof. How close was that mirror to grouping us in with Ace and Deuce and Riddle?

How close were we to being in Ace's place?

Before I realize it, it's bio time. We don't take notes. It's a video about wolfmen.

Then, it's art class. Grim and I sketch a tart, with a single slice missing. Our teacher praises it.

MacGyvering consists of a lecture that is three parts relevant to the subject and one part "no dogfighting." It doesn't take a genius to guess what brought that on.

After class, we sit in the courtyard. Normally, we'd head to Pomefiore immediately so I'd have time to change, and then spend that time talking to our friends before dinner.

Next to us, on our hidden little bench, a boy with red hair, a Heartslabyul class uniform, and a book sits down to read. It takes no genius to guess: this is Riddle Rosehearts, the Heartslabyul housewarden.

"Hello, Rosehearts."

He jumps. My voice apparently caught him off guard.

"My apologies. I am usually the only one here at this time. What brings you here?"

I look at him until he opens his mouth to ask what I'm looking at, and then I hug him, doing my best to imitate the strong, comforting hugs of Rook and Vil. Riddle was apparently not expecting this.

"Why are you-"

"Shh. We know, we know, you think you don't have anyone. You think you're alone in however you feel, but you're not. And you're going to be okay."

I've never heard such wise words from the mouth of a cat. Riddle, however, does not seem to appreciate them.

"It is against the rules to touch another student unprovoked! And, according to rule #665, nobody may touch the queen without express permission!"

"How many rules are there, Riddle?"

"810."

"And you follow every one, every day?.. myeh..."

"Riddle, are you happy, following all those rules?"

"Of course!"

"Liar. Nobody follows 810 rules to the letter every day and still lives a happy life."

"You..."

"Yes, that is my name."

Riddle quiets. I consider my job done, hug him one last time, and leave. Riddle does not ask why I hug him, and he does not fight.

Dinner is cod filets. Nobody talks; we're all too busy stuffing our faces with fish and the daily vegetable.

Grim and I both silently agree: Ace is not the only one with a serious problem. Korrak tosses and turns in his sleep, occasionally begging some unknown figure for help.

We try to wake him. We try to wake Mandible, who acts the same in rest. We fail, both times.

In the morning, we'll tell Rook and Vil and hope they can help. For now, we sleep.

This is part 11 of the "What if Yuu didn't want to go back?" Series!

(I, the author of this work, do not consent to this work being crossposted/translated without my knowledge or used to train an AI, ever.)

Masterlist

By the time I leave, I have a ready-to-use phone and a phone case that somehow reminds me of both Grim and Pomefiore, courtesy of Rook. And, bonus: the touchscreen works through my gloves, so I can use it after class without taking them off and risking losing them.

Grim seems to like the charger more than the phone- naturally. He's a cat, the charger is a long thing that waves and dangles, that's what I figured would happen.

"No, Grim, don't bite that. Come on, let's put on our dorm uniforms and go find a nice stick to make a toy out of."

"Nice stick? How am I supposed to hold that?"

"You aren't. I have a piece of string to tie to it."

"So..."

"I can wave the stick around, and you can chase the string."

Grim's face lights up, and he magically changes into his dorm clothes without further instruction or prompting. I head into the closet.

The dorm uniform is incredibly comfy. The fabric is not only soft, but also tailored to fit me, and thermal in such a way that I'm never cold. I ought to wear this more.

When I reenter the room, Grim hops readily onto my shoulder. Off to find a toy, I suppose.

But, even as I search, something eats at me. It's nothing I don't recognize, but it's nothing I can just deal with- it's the knowledge that, out of all the people here, I am the only one with no magic.

Just knowing I've made it this far, so far, and I'm missing that one final thing- Grim wants to be a great sorcerer, so I either hold him back by keeping him with me 24/7, stick with him and watch as I pretend I'm okay with being so close to magic, and yet so far from having any of my own, or die.

I don't want to die. Not anymore. Not now, not when my death will actually hurt people. Not when there are people who will miss me and mourn me and wish I stayed. Not when my absence will open an unfillable hole in someone's heart.

I don't want anyone to feel that, because I've felt it myself, and it hurts. It hurts so much, like there's a part of you that's just void, and it's sucking the life out of you, bit by bit.

I felt that. For years, I felt that, killing me wholly and forcing me to live, day after night after miserable day, with no end in sight.

No. I won't die now. I'll wait until I've lost Grim and Vil and Rook and Epel and Korrak and Mandible and Deuce and Ace. I'll die when I'm just a distant memory of "one of our roomies in college," and "that classmate from my first year at Night Raven," and "the freshman with the flame-eared familiar."

I will die when I am nothing more than "that blurry memory of someone I knew and forgot."

"Monseur Mystery."

Rook's voice is soft, and tender, and worried, and caring, and kind. Kind. Kind, because he doesn't care about my lack of magic- he cares about me, the freshman with the flame-eared familiar. He cares about me, Monseur Mystery. He cares about me. Me, someone he knows and hasn't forgotten.

I needed that reminder. It's so quiet out here. My thoughts spiral and I can't stop it and there are tears streaming down my face, leaving little dark spots on Rook's dorm uniform.

I blink. Weren't we just on the ground? This ground is soft, like- oh, Rook moved us into a tree. I'm sitting on his thigh, not leaves. That makes sense.

No matter. With his arms wrapped around me and my arms wrapped around his waist, I am safe. That much, I know.

Grim is saying something. I hear his words, I know what they mean, but the dots go unconnected, and I take comfort in simply knowing he's here.

"Monseur Mystery, I hope you do not mind. Vil wishes to see you."

Vil. Another person to whom I am not just a distant, fading memory. Another person who cares about the freshman with the flame-eared familiar. Another person who cares about Yuu.

Rook is tapping on glass now. I am still crying, tears still running down my cheeks and into the fabric of Rook's uniform.

Another pair of strong arms wrap around me, pulling me into an embrace that's warm like the heat from a lit fireplace and strong like the house it's built into.

Secure. I feel secure here, held by two people who are, in some way, my parents, the first parents I've ever had, and never had, because, somehow, I still feel as though my life has yet to start. Like I've never been born, but I've died nonetheless.

Despite that, I feel safe and secure and loved, for the first time in what's not yet my life, but not the first, rather, just the most intense.

Back then, when Vil cut and brushed my hair, when I told them how I'd known Grim's name, I had tried to hold back my tears. I wasn't just sad, I was scared, scared this new world would be just as cruel as the last.

But, here, now, I let the sadness show in my sobs, in my sniffles, in my hiccups, in my tears.

For the first time, I am embracing sorrow, and I am nearly alive, closer than ever before.

The tears have stopped. The despair has lessened. The sadness has given way to joy. Faint joy, but joy nonetheless.

Vil is holding my face in his hands, meeting my eyes with violet irises filled with compassion, the likes of which is so intense I could never dream it.

"What's wrong? Why were you crying?"

I look away from him for only a moment, because that's all the time it takes for me to realize I crave his affection and the look in his eyes.

"All I need is magic," my voice is breaking, "and that's the one thing I don't have."

"You know," Grim pipes up, "remember the thing with the water glass? You said the ripples on the surface were because of the footsteps of the students walking in the hall."

"Well... yeah. That's what footsteps do."

"The footsteps of five people, all at least twenty meters away and trying to muffle their footsteps? On these solid floors?"

Wait. Grim has a point. Could those ripples have really been... me?

No. "There are a thousand things other that magic that could've caused that, Grim. Not all of them were there, sure, but only one had to be."

"Let me see your magestone." Vil's sudden request catches me off guard.

"Why?"

Vil just holds out his hand. "You'll see."

I hand him my magestone, and he holds it up to the light.

"Perhaps," he begins, "it is for the better that you know no spells."

The gem shines a beautiful black, all the way through- with the sole exception of three little lines of Pomefiore purple at the bottom that form a sort of upside-down trident head.

"Why is that, Vil?"

"Because," he smiles, "you would've overblotted by now if you used any magic."

"Overblotted?" For once, mine and Grim's voices are in total unison.

"Yes. Using too much magic, with no rest, causes blot buildup. But," he places my magestone back in my palm, "so do negative emotions."

"What are you?.."

"Do you know what blot requires, Yuu?"

"Uhh, nope."

Vil smiles, closing my fingers over my obsidianesque gem.

"Magic."

Quick note: don't do this if it's an adolescent and it's snowing out! Adolescents don't yet have the defense from the cold that adults do. If you release an adolescent into snow, they'll either die or get back in. It's better to keep them in a secure cage with food, water, bedding, and a lock until the weather warms up or you can drop them in a mansion.

Seriously. They're endangered, mostly because of ignorant people dropping adolescents out into the snow.

sick of all these horror movies vilifying Slashers. just because you don't find them cute and cuddly doesn't mean they don't play an important and necessary role in natural ecosystems. don't claim to support biodiversity if you dismiss species like Slashers just because pop culture has convinced you they're "creepy"