This Is Part 13 Of The "What If Yuu Didn't Want To Go Back?" Series!

This is part 13 of the "What if Yuu didn't want to go back?" Series!

(I, the author of this work, do not consent to this work being crossposted/translated without my knowledge or used to train an AI, ever.)

Masterlist

My good mood shatters when I hear about Ace.

"You slept where?" My voice, when combined with Grim's and Deuce's, is apparently too overwhelming for the visibly exhausted ginger.

"Outside of Scarabia's dorm building, okay? What do you guys care, anyway?"

"I'm sorry, Ace, is it unusual to be concerned for a friend when you hear he slept outside? And has sand in his hair, and is visibly exhausted?"

Ace just stares at me, wide-eyed and shocked.

"That... is the first time I have ever heard you say we are friends. Or call me by my first name. And... all in the same sentence..."

Hm. Evidently, he needs some time to proceed that. Although... he is right.

Given my recent mental breakdown, though, that's not much of a suprise.

"Is that why you have sand in your hair?"

Ace sighs. "Yes, Grim, that is why I have sand in my hair."

"Myeh. Deuce, do you know why he didn't just sleep in his bed?"

"Yeah..." Deuce pauses, momentarily searching for the right words. "Housewarden Riddle kicked him out of the dorm. It was in the middle of the night, but Ace is very loud, so I heard it anyway."

"Yeah, I stole a tart."

"You got kicked into Scarabia's sand dunes over a tart?"

"Yep. It was only a slice, too."

Wow. Only a slice of a tart, and he dons, not only a collar, but a sandy scalp. Talk about strict. Dare I say, Rosehearts has some serious, unresolved trauma- and it's causing problems for others. Something has to be done.

Thinking about it, though, he probably just needs a hug, some support, someone to show him they care. That's what I needed, and I've been feeling so much better since.

My mind is made up. When I see him, I'm going to let Riddle know he's not alone.

"Alright, class, I hope you all have your textbooks. Open to page 56 and read to page 57. You have twenty minutes."

Ace looks nervous. Deuce notices.

"We can share."

Guess the ginger left all his stuff at his dorm.

After class, Grim and I make the trip to alchemy without talking. Ace and Deuce do not follow suit.

"One slice! I get it, they're probably for the unbirthday party, but still!"

"I'd help you more if I could, Ace."

I spend alchemy trying to cast a spell. I do succeed, but not without narrowly dodging a detention.

It's just a little thing, but it's something, and that's enough- just for now.

P.E. is just pain. While Grim and I stay conscious, Ace does not, and Deuce carries him to the nurse in what I assume to be the same way he carried me and Grim on the first day of classes.

I'd almost forgotten about that. What a throwback. Still, lunch does come.

"Yer tellin' me 'e slept where?"

"Outside of Scarabia's dorm building. He had sand in his hair, none of his stuff... and he passed out during P.E.- Hey, Yuu, hand me another sardine bite."

I comply. "He said it was over a slice of a tart. He got kicked out over a slice of a tart."

"I'm glad w-we're in Pomefiore and not H-H-Heartslabyul, Mandible."

"Same. Gimme another grape, I'm hungry."

"Well, I ain't ever been more glad t' be under Vil's," he pauses, "supervision, I guess."

I nod. We all share a moment of relative silence, our familiars eating quietly as we all stew in our luck and Ace's lack thereof. How close was that mirror to grouping us in with Ace and Deuce and Riddle?

How close were we to being in Ace's place?

Before I realize it, it's bio time. We don't take notes. It's a video about wolfmen.

Then, it's art class. Grim and I sketch a tart, with a single slice missing. Our teacher praises it.

MacGyvering consists of a lecture that is three parts relevant to the subject and one part "no dogfighting." It doesn't take a genius to guess what brought that on.

After class, we sit in the courtyard. Normally, we'd head to Pomefiore immediately so I'd have time to change, and then spend that time talking to our friends before dinner.

Next to us, on our hidden little bench, a boy with red hair, a Heartslabyul class uniform, and a book sits down to read. It takes no genius to guess: this is Riddle Rosehearts, the Heartslabyul housewarden.

"Hello, Rosehearts."

He jumps. My voice apparently caught him off guard.

"My apologies. I am usually the only one here at this time. What brings you here?"

I look at him until he opens his mouth to ask what I'm looking at, and then I hug him, doing my best to imitate the strong, comforting hugs of Rook and Vil. Riddle was apparently not expecting this.

"Why are you-"

"Shh. We know, we know, you think you don't have anyone. You think you're alone in however you feel, but you're not. And you're going to be okay."

I've never heard such wise words from the mouth of a cat. Riddle, however, does not seem to appreciate them.

"It is against the rules to touch another student unprovoked! And, according to rule #665, nobody may touch the queen without express permission!"

"How many rules are there, Riddle?"

"810."

"And you follow every one, every day?.. myeh..."

"Riddle, are you happy, following all those rules?"

"Of course!"

"Liar. Nobody follows 810 rules to the letter every day and still lives a happy life."

"You..."

"Yes, that is my name."

Riddle quiets. I consider my job done, hug him one last time, and leave. Riddle does not ask why I hug him, and he does not fight.

Dinner is cod filets. Nobody talks; we're all too busy stuffing our faces with fish and the daily vegetable.

Grim and I both silently agree: Ace is not the only one with a serious problem. Korrak tosses and turns in his sleep, occasionally begging some unknown figure for help.

We try to wake him. We try to wake Mandible, who acts the same in rest. We fail, both times.

In the morning, we'll tell Rook and Vil and hope they can help. For now, we sleep.

This is part 16 of the "What if Yuu didn't want to go back?" Series!

(I, the author of this work, do not consent to this work being crossposted/translated without my knowledge or used to train an AI, ever.)

Masterlist

"Korrak. Korrak, wake up. You're squirming. Hey, Korrak. Korrak? Grim, are you having any luck with Mandible?"

"Heeey! Myeh, no dice. Same with Korrak?"

I sigh. Korrak is writhing more than last night, and he's still out cold.

"P-please... let us... h-hide..."

Yeah, definitely a nightmare. Even if he weren't begging an unknown dream entity for help, the pained expression on his face and constant movement are dead giveaways.

We need to tell Vil and Rook. They're our housewarden and vice housewarden, not to mention upperclassmen- they're better equipped to deal with this. Unfortunately, it's early, and they likely aren't awake.

Grim and I only woke up to go to the bathroom, but this? This is too worrying to ignore.

Despite that, we'll have to until morning. We can't tell Vil until he wakes up.

Sigh. This sucks. Since yesterday, I've seen Korrak as a sort of older brother figure, and, just as any little sibling would be, I'm worried sick.

"Hey, Yuu... Do you think they're going to be okay?"

"I hope, Grim. I don't know enough to trust myself to accurately judge that, but I trust Rook and Vil to find out if they don't already know.

"We need to go back to sleep. You know Vil's going to be mad if we stay up too long."

"Yeah, I do. Should be easy enough, right? You're a cat, so you can probably go to sleep quickly, and we're familiars, so that should apply to me, too."

Grim shakes his head. "Iistening to you talk in the morning is a lot like listening to myself think."

I glance at the clock. It's two hours until we're supposed to wake up. Vil will be pissed about our inevitable lack of sleep, but what can we do? The answer is try anyway.

...The lack of sleep is visible. Neither Grim nor I got any sleep after we woke up. We went to the bathroom, but we did not rest. Our eyes did not want to stay closed, and it's showing now.

"Monseur Mystery."

I nearly shout in suprise, but appearing out of nowhere is kind of Rook's "thing," along with speaking French.

"Hey, Rook." He saw the several seconds of totally silence and shock as we processed his arrival. His face shows it.

"Come with me."

He takes us to Vil's room. When he knocks, and we hear the "come in," I nearly pass out with relief. Finally, we can tell Vil about what happened.

"Yuu, Grim- what happened? Did you stay up on your phones? Did you feel too sick to sleep? Did you have too much caffeine? Why do you look so exhausted?"

"Myeh... We woke up to go to the bathroom, but Korrak was having another nightmare, and we couldn't sleep after that."

"It was worse than last time," I add, "he was moving more and wouldn't wake up. He also kept begging some unknown entity for help. And we missed two hours of sleep."

"Oh, dear..." Vil is very clearly, very deeply concerned for us. It shows plainly on his face, and he soon maneuvers me into a chair in front of the vanity.

Rook tries to grab Grim, but there's a knock on the door before gloves meet fur.

"Come in."

Korrak opens the door. He looks even worse than me, and Mandible looks worse than Grim. I didn't even know an opossum could look so tired, but... Well, I'm not Wikipedia. I don't know everything.

When the door closes behind him, Korrak abandons his balance, and falls. Rook catches him, of course, and my lagging mind registers that Korrak hasn't seen me and Grim yet.

"What happened, Monseur Smoke?"

"I dunno." For once, the syllables slipping from Korrak's mouth are blending together. "Jus woke u-up like th-th-th-th... this." He yawns.

Poor Korrak. Seeing him like this is a little terrifying. I know he's stronger, and smarter in fights- I watched him beat up a guy a whole head taller than him just yesterday- but seeing someone that powerful, made so weak in just a night... plus, knowing he got eight hours of sleep and still has dark bags under his eyes just unsettles me. Brr.

During my think, Vil went and got another chair to place in front of his vanity. Looking into the mirror, Korrak finally notices me.

"...Hey. Something h-h-h-happen?"

"Woke up to pee and couldn't go back to sleep. You?"

He sighs. "Nothing much. I s-s-slept all night and I'm more t-t-t-t-t-tired than when I went t-t-t-t-to bed."

"That sucks."

"Y-you have no idea."

Vil has retrieved a hairbrush and two stools. One stool goes behind my chair, the other behind Korrak's. I see Vil's reflection in the mirror, right behind my own. Behind my roommates' sits that of Rook.

Rook starts brushing Mandible's fur. Vil begins brushing my hair. I relax into it, letting the gentle tugs of the bristles sway my head ever-so-slightly. It's almost hypnotic, the soft pulls on my scalp. Maybe I'm too tired to judge; maybe I'm just starved for the slightest scraps of affection; maybe my brain has been trying to sleep for over two hours and failing, but regardless of why, I allow Vil's careful strokes to lull me into closing my eyes.

"You shouldn't sleep off-schedule, but you need it. Rest, little one."

With that, I am asleep.

"Yuu. Wake up." Something soft and faint, a pressure, of sorts- oh, Vil is shaking my head. "You have to eat. Come on. I've managed your morning routine for you, okay? It's time to get up now. You need to eat."

I open my eyes. Vil's violet irises meet mine, and he smiles as softly as he speaks.

"Do you feel better now?"

I nod. I'm sleepy, still, but some things just cannot be dodged. I do feel better, though- just the slightest bit more rested. That bit will probably make all the difference today.

"Monseur Smoke. Wake up." Rook lightly taps on Korrak's head until he wakes, slowly. "There you are, Monseur Smoke. Come on, you must eat."

Korrak turns to look at me, and we make eye contact. The look is mutual; shared:

"Today is going to suck."

This is part 18 of the "What if Yuu didn't want to go back?" Series!

(I, the author of this work, do not consent to this work being crossposted/translated without my knowledge or used to train an AI, ever.)

Masterlist

"Well, it's not my fault!"

"Of course not! Ace, nobody intentionally trips and falls on the stairs before the big tournament. Why would it be your fault?"

"Well, Deuce, just because I accidentally fell on the stairs doesn't mean I meant to sleep through my alarm and forget my school bag!"

"Myaah? Ace really screwed himself over this time!"

"Shut your trap, Grim!"

"Ace, be nice. Besides, you could've gone and gotten your stuff before class started. Why didn't you?"

He appears momentarily stunned, then resumes his previous attitude. "Shove it somewhere else! I'm not in the mood!"

"Ace! Don't yell at Yuu!"

Ace just flips him off. Trein, of course, walks in right when he does that- in clear view of the door.

"Trappola, detention."

Ace just groans.

The rest of class is quiet and it's easy to focus, right until the end. I notice instantly: when Ace puts his weight onto his right foot, he winces.

Grim and I share a look. Something is going on here. Luckily, we need only a few seconds of walking to determine a few details.

"Hey, Ace, does your right ankle need an ice pack, or were you using magic to keep it cold?"

He stops dead in his tracks and turns to face us, eyes wide with shock.

"Ace? Ace, are you okay?"

"Leave him be, Deuce. Ace, Yuu and I can take ya to the nurse if you want. Seriously, you need an ice pack on that."

"Ace," Deuce's voice is serious now, "did you get hurt on the stairs?"

"N-no, I'm-"

"Ace, that's serious! You could have a sprain! Come on, I'll carry you!"

"Hey, wait! Deuce, you don't have to- woah!"

With that, they're gone, Ace thrown over Deuce's shoulder like a sack of rice.

I smile. Ace is often a hindering factor during alchemy, so it's nice to toss him to the wind for a period or five. Plus, we're helping- he can't get mad at us for that!

Besides, if he's going to be mad, he's going to be mad at Deuce. He's the one who's carrying him like he's a burlap sack of potatoes.

Alchemy is boring, exept for the part when we told Crewel why Ace and Deuce weren't with us and the line "so Deuce threw him over his shoulders like a pillowcase full of cotton" made him laugh.

P.E. involves Deuce returning with two notes to Vargas: one for Deuce himself, and one for Ace. On the bright side, Vargas is rather distracted, and class is easy.

At lunch, we learn something new.

"Yeah, all them weekends're no class 'fter th' firs' one. Anyways, th' Spelldrive tournament's startin' up t'day! Jus' th' interdorm one, 'course, but'chall git th' idea, don't'cha?"

Oh, yeah, we have club activities today. Hopefully, the board games club has other Pomefiore students.

"Hey, you know what happened today? Ace showed up with an injury and no schoolbag. You should've seen Deuce toss him over one shoulder and run off with him; it was hilarious."

"Never seen anything like it, mya-ha!"

"Kinda odd, th-the decision of replacing our last th-three classes w-with clubs f-for the day... Meh."

I zone out and miss the rest of the conversation. My mind is too busy to pay attention- I'm remembering. Remembering how Korrak was exhausted on day one. Remembering how Mandible said "Pilot parents" but Korrak said he had nobody but Mandible, Grim and I just days later.

He seemed so small then. So scared, like he wasn't used to new places or people. But, if he did have pilot parents, shouldn't he be very used to all that?

This roommate is a mystery- and I am a male Nancy Drew with magic and a cat. In spirit, at the very least.

This is part 4 of the "What if Yuu didn't want to go back?" Series!

(I, the author of this work, do not consent to this work being crossposted/translated without my knowledge or used to train an AI, ever.)

Masterlist

My bed is soft. Very soft. I don't want to leave, but I have to.

"C'mon, Yuu! We're gonna be late! Myaah, wake up! We have class!" Okay, he has a point. Being late to class on the first day would be horrible, both for our reputation and Vil's.

Mustering all my willpower, I drag myself out of the warmth and onto the cold floor. Oh, slippers! That's much better.

...Hold on.

"Grim, when did I change into my pajamas?"

"You didn't. Vil used magic to swap what you were wearing with those. He said he didn't want to wake you up." Grim beams. "I managed that trick, too! Look at me, mya-ha!"

Sure enough, Grim is wearing a white, collared button-down, a black-and-white striped tie, a purple vest that matches his magestone, and a dark grey jacket to top it all off. Worn below the collar of the button-down is the collar with his magestone, and there's a violet string-looking thing with a red stripe down the middle tied around his left front leg, held in place with a golden emblem that's carved to look like Pomefiore's crest. He has no pants, but that's pretty much what I expected.

"Your uniform's in the dresser, Grim's familiar."

"Come on, Mandible. You know his name."

...Korrak sounds exhausted! Is he not used to this kind of sleep schedule? I wouldn't be surprised. Mandible did mention that he has pilot parents, after all.

Oh, right. My uniform. Sure enough, it's in the top drawer of my nightstand, neatly folded. Looks like it has all the same parts as Grim's, plus pants, shoes, and socks. There's boxers in there, too. Better go change. Didn't I hear a sophomore mention walk-in closets at the entrance ceremony?

Yep, there's a door over by the foot of my bed. That must be the closet, which is soon revealed to be walk-in. Hey, there's a light! And a full-length mirror!

...This is probably a changing room. Oh, well. Figuring out where and how everything goes on is a walk in the park, and there's a shoe rack on my left. The only pair that seems appropriate for a regular school day are the loafers, so that's what I put on.

"Myaah, you look awesome!"

"Thanks, Grim! You wear it better, though."

"No way! We're familiars, so we both look equally awesome!"

Aww. "I'll let you have this one, Grim."

"Hey, Yuu and Grim. I've got your schedules over here. Says you're in class B. We aren't, unfortunately." Korrak frowns once he's done speaking, but I don't realize why until he pokes Mandible. "Hey, wake up. We have class too, you know."

Grim goes and gets the schedule from Korrak, and carries it back to me. Upon examination, I learn class does not start for another hour.

"Korrak, do you know why we're up this early?"

He sighs, unsuccessful thus far in his attempts to wake the exhausted opossum on his bed. "Breakfast and skincare routine. Both are mandatory in Pomefiore, and this wake-up time is recommended by our housewarden." Yeah, that explains it.

Mandible wakes at the mention of food. "Breakfast? Where?"

Korrak's face is what you'd expect from a sitcom mom. "The dorm dining room. Today it's fruit, I think."

Mandible's tiredness vanishes from his face instantaneously when Korrak says the word "fruit." Mine does the same.

I grab Grim. "C'mon, breakfast!" He does not complain.

Soon after stuffing our faces with way too much watermelon, Vil stops us in the hall.

"You fell asleep before I could give you this. All yours. Use it now. And Grim should be brushed every morning before you dress him." Vil hands me a small cardboard box that feels magically reinforced. He does not let go until I'm firmly holding it, probably because it's far heavier than it looks once he does.

"He dressed himself. Is there a cat brush in here?"

Vil nods. "There most certainly is." With that, he's gone. I set off to the room I fell asleep in last night.

There's a lot of people in here, but it still isn't hard to find an empty seat. I remove Grim's little uniform (as much as I don't want to) and begin brushing him. The process only takes a few minutes, and I use the opportunity to chat with Korrak, who's in the seat to my right.

"So, what class are you in? Grim and I are in class A."

"Me and Mandible are in class B. I hope it goes well."

The kid on my left speaks up. He has beautiful, fluffy, lavender hair and the second-prettiest blue eyes I've ever seen, in my biased-toward-Grim opinion.

"Hey, me too! What're you named?"

"Uh, Korrak. And this is Mandible. What's your name?"

I sit and return the cat brush to its spot in the box before reading the instructions for the skincare products. A few of them are for Grim, so I pull those out first- while continuing to eavesdrop, of course.

" 'S Epel! I like that there 'possum- 'Mandible', eh?"

I smile. The instructions are easier to follow than I thought they'd be, and the blooming friendship makes excellent background noise.

This is part 17 of the "What if Yuu didn't want to go back?" Series!

(I, the author of this work, do not consent to this work being crossposted/translated without my knowledge or used to train an AI, ever.)

Masterlist

Today did suck. Grim and I nearly fell asleep during every class except P.E, when we fell asleep and were just left in the shade because Vargas wouldn't let anyone carry us to the nurse. Lovely. That nap gave us the energy to report him, and then it was spent.

I can't remember anything else. Just reading my notes feels like a fever dream. The writing is so messy, it's barely legible, if at all- I can hardly read anything at this point.

The one thing I do remember is going out into the forest for some peace and quiet with Korrak and Mandible. Oh, and falling asleep on Korrak. That too.

Waking up is better. I feel more refreshed already. When I turn to look, though, Korrak is awake.

He sees me staring and laughs softly. "Morning, lil' bro."

I smile. This world really is the best thing to ever happen to me. I have an older brother! And, thinking back, I've probably called Vil "mom" at some point, which probably makes Rook the dad.

"This is nice, isn't it?"

I smile. Grim is right, this is nice. There's a gentle breeze blowing softly, the sun is high enough to light the area but low enough to be out of our eyes, and the clouds are floating lazily overhead, shifting shape as they do.

Korrak has the right idea, lying on his back and looking at the sky.

"I've heard p-people say that it's th-th-these gentle little moments th-that make life comfy." He closes his eyes and reopens them after a second. "Never understood that u-until now."

"Never paid attention to them?"

He shakes his head, the grass underneath his hair rustling quietly as he does. "Never h-had any I could p-p-pay attention t-."

He pronounces "attention" as "addention" and stutters at the word "to," but only once. Instead of trying to say both letters, he just gives up after the first holdup.

"Why not?"

"B-being calm is a p-privilege I just couldn't afford." His expression saddens. I didn't even realize I had spoken until he answered me.

"Yeah," I start, knowingly this time, "I get that. Like life is a racetrack and being content is taking a leisurely walk, and by the time you realize running is optional, you're surrounded by people who either don't know or don't care and you have to keep going or you'll get trampled. Like there's a wall of people between you and joy, and the only way to slow down and survive is to be removed from the track entirely. I get that."

"Y-yuu..." Korrak is crying now. I don't know when he started, but there are tears running down his cheeks.

"Do you really f-feel like th-that?.. H-hey, you can s-stay on the t-t-t-t-track. Don't go." His voice drops to barely a whisper. I almost can't hear him over the breeze.

"P-please, not you t-t-t-t-too..."

Oh, he doesn't know the part about leaving the track was supposed to refer to me suddenly waking up a student at Night Raven College- he thinks I'm still suicidal.

"Korrak... That's not what I meant by that."

"W-what could you h-h-have meant? Did you j-just lie down f-for a nap and sit u-up in T-T-T-Twisted Wonderland?"

"Uh... pretty much."

"What?" This time, Mandible talks. Korrak lies still, presumably processing what I just said. He soon turns, looks at me, and gives Mandible a "You do the taking" short of look.

"So, I... I'm not from a world with magic. I'm from another track, so to speak. One day, I woke up in a coffin, met Grim, and got sorted into Pomefiore. In under ten minutes."

"What the fuck? Yuu and Grim didn't meet until the first day entrance ceremony?"

"Kinda. When I lived in the other world, I had a cat. He had a condition where the end of his tail split into a trident, just like this," I'm holding the end of Grim's tail now, he's snuggling into me and purring in a successful attempt to calm me down, "and he was my only friend, and he died, and I was never the same. And then, I saw him at the entrance ceremony, and..."

I'm crying now. Korrak has moved onto his side, wrapped his arms around me, and placed my head near the junction between his neck and shoulder. I'm hugging back, and Grim has moved to the same spot on me to purr.

"It's okay. I'm o-okay. I have Grim back, and I have magic, and I'm happy."

Everyone is crying now. Me, Korrak, Grim, and Mandible, crying and hugging and smiling and lying on the ground and, in Grim's case, purring.

"As much as I hate to interrupt this, Roi de Poison would like you all back inside before twilight. Is is dusk."

Rook is right. We have our skincare routines, and dinner, and bedtime, and I should probably shower. At the very least, though, I think I'm a little closer to cracking the smokescreen that is Korrak Dinak.

Rook leads the four of us back into the dorm. Vil is waiting patiently at the door, likely to make sure we're okay.

The clock says we've been out in the woods for over two and a half hours. That gives us enough time to shower, do our usual skincare routine, and still get to bed on time.

Before we go to the Backstage Room, Rook hands each of us a small plate with some very appetizing food on them.

"Eat quickly," he whispers, and then he is gone. I listen, but Vil stops us.

"Do not choke. Take reasonable bites."

We did need the reminder. Finally, we're off! Hopefully, some hot water will help me sleep.

The shower did help. I passed out the instant I flopped onto the soft, welcoming comforter, and that was that.

Not a great day, but an excellent conclusion. I'll take it.

We don't wake up too early this time, either. Korrak and Mandible aren't in the room by then, so we just go straight to the Backstage Room and get that managed.

"Yer tellin' me you ain't never seen 'n apple tree? How th' fu- fresh hell does that work out?"

Epel's morning over-breakfast talk is extra entertaining when you also listen to Vil sigh in the background.

"You think everything has apple trees? No. Korrak, pass me another one of the fruits."

Mandible chews on his apple and Epel stares in disbelief. "Y'all're city folk? An' here I thought you lotta come from somewhere interestin'!"

Oh, if only he knew.

This is part 11 of the "What if Yuu didn't want to go back?" Series!

(I, the author of this work, do not consent to this work being crossposted/translated without my knowledge or used to train an AI, ever.)

Masterlist

By the time I leave, I have a ready-to-use phone and a phone case that somehow reminds me of both Grim and Pomefiore, courtesy of Rook. And, bonus: the touchscreen works through my gloves, so I can use it after class without taking them off and risking losing them.

Grim seems to like the charger more than the phone- naturally. He's a cat, the charger is a long thing that waves and dangles, that's what I figured would happen.

"No, Grim, don't bite that. Come on, let's put on our dorm uniforms and go find a nice stick to make a toy out of."

"Nice stick? How am I supposed to hold that?"

"You aren't. I have a piece of string to tie to it."

"So..."

"I can wave the stick around, and you can chase the string."

Grim's face lights up, and he magically changes into his dorm clothes without further instruction or prompting. I head into the closet.

The dorm uniform is incredibly comfy. The fabric is not only soft, but also tailored to fit me, and thermal in such a way that I'm never cold. I ought to wear this more.

When I reenter the room, Grim hops readily onto my shoulder. Off to find a toy, I suppose.

But, even as I search, something eats at me. It's nothing I don't recognize, but it's nothing I can just deal with- it's the knowledge that, out of all the people here, I am the only one with no magic.

Just knowing I've made it this far, so far, and I'm missing that one final thing- Grim wants to be a great sorcerer, so I either hold him back by keeping him with me 24/7, stick with him and watch as I pretend I'm okay with being so close to magic, and yet so far from having any of my own, or die.

I don't want to die. Not anymore. Not now, not when my death will actually hurt people. Not when there are people who will miss me and mourn me and wish I stayed. Not when my absence will open an unfillable hole in someone's heart.

I don't want anyone to feel that, because I've felt it myself, and it hurts. It hurts so much, like there's a part of you that's just void, and it's sucking the life out of you, bit by bit.

I felt that. For years, I felt that, killing me wholly and forcing me to live, day after night after miserable day, with no end in sight.

No. I won't die now. I'll wait until I've lost Grim and Vil and Rook and Epel and Korrak and Mandible and Deuce and Ace. I'll die when I'm just a distant memory of "one of our roomies in college," and "that classmate from my first year at Night Raven," and "the freshman with the flame-eared familiar."

I will die when I am nothing more than "that blurry memory of someone I knew and forgot."

"Monseur Mystery."

Rook's voice is soft, and tender, and worried, and caring, and kind. Kind. Kind, because he doesn't care about my lack of magic- he cares about me, the freshman with the flame-eared familiar. He cares about me, Monseur Mystery. He cares about me. Me, someone he knows and hasn't forgotten.

I needed that reminder. It's so quiet out here. My thoughts spiral and I can't stop it and there are tears streaming down my face, leaving little dark spots on Rook's dorm uniform.

I blink. Weren't we just on the ground? This ground is soft, like- oh, Rook moved us into a tree. I'm sitting on his thigh, not leaves. That makes sense.

No matter. With his arms wrapped around me and my arms wrapped around his waist, I am safe. That much, I know.

Grim is saying something. I hear his words, I know what they mean, but the dots go unconnected, and I take comfort in simply knowing he's here.

"Monseur Mystery, I hope you do not mind. Vil wishes to see you."

Vil. Another person to whom I am not just a distant, fading memory. Another person who cares about the freshman with the flame-eared familiar. Another person who cares about Yuu.

Rook is tapping on glass now. I am still crying, tears still running down my cheeks and into the fabric of Rook's uniform.

Another pair of strong arms wrap around me, pulling me into an embrace that's warm like the heat from a lit fireplace and strong like the house it's built into.

Secure. I feel secure here, held by two people who are, in some way, my parents, the first parents I've ever had, and never had, because, somehow, I still feel as though my life has yet to start. Like I've never been born, but I've died nonetheless.

Despite that, I feel safe and secure and loved, for the first time in what's not yet my life, but not the first, rather, just the most intense.

Back then, when Vil cut and brushed my hair, when I told them how I'd known Grim's name, I had tried to hold back my tears. I wasn't just sad, I was scared, scared this new world would be just as cruel as the last.

But, here, now, I let the sadness show in my sobs, in my sniffles, in my hiccups, in my tears.

For the first time, I am embracing sorrow, and I am nearly alive, closer than ever before.

The tears have stopped. The despair has lessened. The sadness has given way to joy. Faint joy, but joy nonetheless.

Vil is holding my face in his hands, meeting my eyes with violet irises filled with compassion, the likes of which is so intense I could never dream it.

"What's wrong? Why were you crying?"

I look away from him for only a moment, because that's all the time it takes for me to realize I crave his affection and the look in his eyes.

"All I need is magic," my voice is breaking, "and that's the one thing I don't have."

"You know," Grim pipes up, "remember the thing with the water glass? You said the ripples on the surface were because of the footsteps of the students walking in the hall."

"Well... yeah. That's what footsteps do."

"The footsteps of five people, all at least twenty meters away and trying to muffle their footsteps? On these solid floors?"

Wait. Grim has a point. Could those ripples have really been... me?

No. "There are a thousand things other that magic that could've caused that, Grim. Not all of them were there, sure, but only one had to be."

"Let me see your magestone." Vil's sudden request catches me off guard.

"Why?"

Vil just holds out his hand. "You'll see."

I hand him my magestone, and he holds it up to the light.

"Perhaps," he begins, "it is for the better that you know no spells."

The gem shines a beautiful black, all the way through- with the sole exception of three little lines of Pomefiore purple at the bottom that form a sort of upside-down trident head.

"Why is that, Vil?"

"Because," he smiles, "you would've overblotted by now if you used any magic."

"Overblotted?" For once, mine and Grim's voices are in total unison.

"Yes. Using too much magic, with no rest, causes blot buildup. But," he places my magestone back in my palm, "so do negative emotions."

"What are you?.."

"Do you know what blot requires, Yuu?"

"Uhh, nope."

Vil smiles, closing my fingers over my obsidianesque gem.

"Magic."