SO COOL

SO COOL

Back in November 2019, I was in a bad place. I was dealing with a very toxic and manipulative individual every day at home, and by the lack of regret or self-awareness they keep displaying to this day, I believe it safe to assume they took pleasure in putting me down. My family member who I trusted to protect me merely stood on the sidelines, occasionally patting me on the back to show “which side” they were on, but never taking action as they should have.

But every day, for 10-30 minutes, life was okay. I would laugh at Mark and Ethan’s antics, and replay the videos over and over to cling onto that feeling. I watched every single upload since day one multiple times. My favourites were salsa dancing, the pyramid of nog, the escape room, pee sauna, the geriatric simulator, and the ultimate trolley problem. These videos comforted me and brought me joy and I would regularly come back to them throughout the year.

It feels like I lost a good friend. I can’t help but be sad. I really want my merch to arrive now, so that I can hold onto something. It’s weird that no one around me understands why I’m a bit of a mess right now. I know it’s silly, but I can’t help but be emotional. I will miss these videos. I will miss this live stream. I will remember the anxious waiting and the joy and the saddness forever. Who knew youtube, in 2020, could get people so involved and moved?

A year-long build up for one decisive click of the mouse. What a fucking powermove. It was beautiful.

10/12

“Every Frame A Dick”

11.99/12

The very last second I could catch. Memento Mori.

11.5/12

“You might have time to watch one last video.”