The Older You Get, The More Relatable Squidward Becomes

The older you get, the more relatable Squidward becomes

Person A: If karma won't fuck you, I will.

Person B: Is this a pickup line or a threat?

Person A: Both.

When I make an amazing and totally hilarious pun and my best friend just looks at me wondering why she even talks to me

Nico: ‘Now I can’t tell if you’re joking.’

Hades’s eyes glittered as his form began to fade. ‘Then perhaps we are alike in some important ways.’

Social anxiety is basically conspiracy theories about yourself

Me trying to get out of bed on a Monday morning... I think I caannn. Jk, nevermind *goes back to sleep*

You’re going home or I’ll call Aunt May!