The Fourth Transformers Movie Was Literally This

the fourth transformers movie was literally this

Arcee: i’m so tired of this life. i want to be a roomba. i want knives taped to me. and i want to be set loose.

Smokescreen: *returns from the aquarium, visibly disappointed*

Ratchet: WHAT DID YOU THINK A SWORDFISH WAS, SMOKESCREEN?

Megatron: Dammit, you ruin everything!

Starscream: You're welcome.

THIS IS LITERALLY MY TWO OBSESSIONS COMBINED

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy has this to say on the subject of the planet Cybertron:

Avoid.

While neither the planet nor its native inhabitants can with good conscience be called inherently unpleasant, they have in short order become a net exporter of violent belligerence. The species of Cybertronians can be roughly divided into two groups: one which believes that every sentient creature of the galaxy, their worlds and resources, indeed every last ounce of matter in creation, should be placed in direct subservience to their own race, and the other which believes that it already is.

These two groups have been locked in a deadly war for roughly the same length of time that most other species can be persuaded to get down from trees, start banging pieces of flint together and get on with the rather more important task of inventing free market economics and lifestyle magazines, and both sides are fiercely committed to destroying the forces of the other. In fact, so intense and planet-consuming is this war that neither side have yet noticed that those few Cybertronians who couldn’t give a guillemot’s gall bladder about the eternal conflict have long ago nipped out for a stiff drink and have no intention of returning any time soon.

Keep reading

Prowl: But when all hope seemed lost, I had an epiphany!

Prowl, earlier: I'm going to throw myself into the sea.