*me At A Party*

*me at a party*

Signs as Dan Howell Quotes

Aries: Slow walking people? Die

Taurus: The only ugly girls are the ones who don’t realize that beauty comes from within

Gemini: Turns out my life is just a series of events where I have made myself stupid

Cancer: I wonder how biology can explain the physical pain you feel in your chest when all you need is be with someone

Leo: STEP ASIDE PEASANTS

Virgo: Sometimes when you intensely dislike a person, you just have to take comfort in the fact that one day they will be dead.

Libra: I then use some hair spray. As the instant a small breeze hits me I look like a hedgehog that’s been hit by a car.

Scorpio: I hope you something really stupid and die

Sagittarius: OH MY GOD, WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?

Capricorn: You are a Human with one life and it’s up to you to make it the best life you can

Aquarius: I mean it’s 2015, let’s not kink-shame aliens

Pisces: I'm about as violent and intimidating as a pink butterfly

I love how potato in French is pomme de terre, which pretty much means “earth apple.”

like what stupid frenchman saw this:

and said “zis petite légume looks like a, how you say, APPLE! hmmm… but it grows in ze earth… HON HON HON! MAIS OUI! C’EST UNE POMME DE TERRE!”

Just finished making me some strawberry roll cake ヾ(＠⌒ー⌒＠)ノ

If real life was like The Sims

When your crush uploads a selfie