04. Take It Back | Reliability Kth

04. take it back | reliability • kth

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pairing: taehyung x reader word count: 2.750 genre: drama, light angst rating: pg-13 warnings: cursing au: ceo/office trope: enemies to friends to lovers tags: ceo!taehyung, office!au, best friend!yoongi, unresolved emotional tension, mutual pining, slow burn crosspost: ao3

summary: after Y/N’s resignation, taehyung goes after her to apologize

A/N: this chapter was a little difficult to write, for three reasons: i wanted to accurately describe the emotional state of the two characters, even though this story is from tae's pov; leave some clues for future chapters and also narrate a movement in a verbal fight as believably as possible.

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Y/N's sudden resignation left me in complete shock, but something inside told me to stand up and go find her because I couldn't let that happen, she had to stay. She just had to. If I needed to beg, then so be it, but she couldn't leave Vante. Leave me.

In the lobby, practically out of breath, I stand before the elevators noticing that of the four, two are on different floors, one is on the ground floor and the other going up. I pressed all the buttons violently so that one of them would come to me and take me to Y/N, but amid my distress, I realized something:

She uses the stairs when she is angry.

This one time, after a meeting with a possible foreign client, Y/N disappeared. Nobody could tell me where she was or what direction she went. It was as if she had vanished like smoke. Hours later, visibly calmer, she entered her office where I was sitting with my feet up on the table reading some reports that she had left laying around.

“Mr. Kim, please show some manners and get your filthy feet off my table” Y/N demanded with humor but a serious face.

“There you are” I smiled, bringing my legs down.

“Do you need something?” she asked, coming towards me and gesturing for me to get up from her chair.

“Not really” I put down the papers I was reading and stood between her desk and a bookcase. “I just wanted to know if everything was okay and where were you”

“I needed to clear my head” Y/N put on her reading glasses and started organizing the papers I had messed up. 

I just nodded, respecting her space. After a few seconds of silence, I turned to the door to leave.

“When I'm nervous and need to think, I use the stairs instead of the elevator” she blurted out. As soon as I turned my head, I realized that Y/N was biting the inside of her cheek as if she had regretted sharing such information.

“No problem” I assured her with a nod.

It was the only thing I could do. She put up with four intense hours of the potential client questioning every little detail she presented, and yet she was able to keep it together and reply with civility. I recall seeing the physical effort she made to not lose her composure, since closing a contract with him would mean a lot to Vante, and well, the girl liked to win by any means necessary. If it was me, I might have missed the opportunity due to my temper, but that is precisely why I have her around — so she can run things the right way. Hiding out on the stairs for a while didn’t seem like a big deal to me.

“Stairs!” I said to myself, happy to have remembered that little detail just in time.

Running towards the emergency exit, I pushed the crash bar with full force. I started coming down the stairs as fast as possible but still couldn't see Y/N so I decided to lean over the main handrail, looking down into the gap that allowed me to see the other floors.

“Y/N!” I shouted, spotting her arm and purse as she walked through what appeared to be two levels below where I was. She immediately stops and leans to the right, looking up until our eyes meet.

“Please wait” I urged, holding out my hand in a 'stop' sign.

Y/N, however, didn’t give a shit and kept walking, paying me no attention whatsoever. I had no choice but to jump several steps at a time to get there as quickly as possible and stop right next to her.

“Listen to me” I panted, hands on my knees.

Y/N stopped for a moment watching my desperation, rolled her eyes, and started walking again.

“I need to tell you something” I said, taking two steps forward and putting my left hand on the rail, blocking her way.

“Move” Y/N pushed my arm, finishing the steps and walking through the space between flights.

“You are acknowledging my presence, great, it’s a start” I observed while she kept ignoring me. “Please, can you stop for just a second?”

“No”

“Then I’ll keep following you” I disclosed right behind her, arms crossed.

“Good luck, you're going to roll down the stairs” Y/N shrugged.

This was a test of patience. A big one.

“Y/N!” I pulled her by the arm.

“What?” she shouted. “What more do you want?”. Her eyes looked deeply into mine and I could see a clear mix of exhaustion and anguish. “What else do you want to talk to me about? Or should I say humiliate?”

“Take it back” I unintentionally whispered, feeling my throat dry and my heart pounding.

“What?”

“Your decision” I repeated more confidently, “Take it back. Please don't quit”

With that, I let go of her arm but not before my fingertips trace her skin gently on the way down.

Y/N looked at me astonished, “My God, you are fucking unbelievable” and went back down the steps, only now stomping her feet like a child. 

“I'm serious, Y/N, you can't quit, you're very important to the company!”

“Oh really?” she replied sarcastically, “That was not what it looked like five minutes ago. Do you think I'm stupid?” she looked back at me with her brows furrowed.

“No!” I quickly interjected. 

In all honesty, I was starting to get desperate. No words seemed right or good enough for her. I had obviously dug a hole for myself with this idea of scolding her in front of everyone and it was getting deeper by the second. Fuck, I messed up real bad! 

“Total opposite! You are extremely intelligent and competent, and..” I continued before she interrupted.

“Well, you certainly went out of your way to say that I was one for buying the shares” Y/N stopped abruptly and I almost ran into her back.

“Okay, that was stupid, you have to admit” I shrugged, making Y/N even angrier, “but… you’re smart and you did it with good intentions for the company” I added, giving a shy smile.

“Let me see if I got it right,” she crossed her arms and looked up, “you agree that I had good intentions and still decided to call a meeting with the sole purpose of humiliating me in front of everyone?” Y/N's gaze had dropped and now hovered over me making me swallow hard.

“Uh… yeah” I admitted, nodding.

“That’s ridiculous, even for you” she sharply exhaled and laughed at the same time but it contained no humor. “I thought we had a decent enough relationship for you to show me a little more respect” she fumed, pointing her finger at me.

“The mistake was serious, Y/N, there are things about Vante and Min that you don't know about” I pointed right back, taking a step forward and raising my voice a little. 

I was starting to get annoyed at how oblivious she was. Okay, I was an asshole and I didn't deal with the situation in the best way, but still, what she did was wrong. “Like I said, the purchase interferes with the agreement I have with Yoon Gi and I will need to speak to him tonight”

And that's how I got Y/N to finally shut up. She was visibly embarrassed. Now was my chance to explain, since she was forced to pay attention.

“And yes, I wanted to send a message to all shareholders about not respecting my rules. You know that my relationship with them has gotten worse in the last year and they are pressuring me to step down as CEO. I had to do something!” I ran my hands through my hair feeling exasperated.

“There” Y/N pointed her finger at me again, “Right there!”

I think the confusion on my face was evident because she soon explained herself.

“This is the reason why I quitted. You used me like I was the fucking secretary - no offense to Eun Ae - just to prove a point and look powerful in front of those assholes. You didn't have to do that”

“I know,” I agreed, rubbing my eyes, “now I realized that, I'm sorry Y/N”

Still with my eyes closed and taking a deep breath, I hear Y/N usher down the stairs.

“How was I supposed to know you would react like that?” I insisted, “Huh?”

“Uh, I don't know, common sense?” she waved her hands in the air, keeping her eyes forward.

“I thought you would be angry, very angry or that you would curse at me, scream, but not resign” I confessed approaching her, “You love this place”

Y/N stopped at the sound of my last statement taking a beat before turning around. Her back got tense. A couple of seconds after recovering from the shock, she hissed nervously “I don't… love” and looked me in the eye, pausing subtly before complementing “this place"

The way Y/N said that hurt me because I felt that she was simultaneously hiding something and rejecting me. I couldn't help my own shock at those words. We have worked so hard in the last few years, we achieved much more than everyone expected. She and I were the perfect team. How come she didn't like the company? Was she pretending all this time? There was no one else who worked as hard as Y/N. What is going on?

If someone had asked me 24 hours ago if she was happy here, I would have said without a doubt that she was, because everything pointed that way. How she planned out the strategies, how she talked to clients, the bulletproof arguments she used with shareholders, the silent laugh when I made a joke during those long nights where we did overtime, the contained giggles we exchanged when we closed a new deal and so many other quirks that only I knew, that only I saw.

Precisely because I knew so much, I was not ready to let go.

“But I do and I need to protect it. Please don't quit, I want you here” I begged.

Y/N’s eyes showed an inner struggle between believing what I was saying and any other feelings she had for Vante or even for me. Did she hate me? Was working here really that bad? It was so difficult to figure out. I thought I knew her well enough, but apparently, I don’t. I had to make myself clear then.

“I need you here” I said, taking her hand.

She immediately looked down as if our hands were on fire.

“Don't lie” Y/N pulled hers back and stepped away from me, “You don't need me here, we both know it” she said nonchalantly looking to the side as she straightened her clothes — which didn't even have wrinkles, by the way, I don't know who she was trying to deceive here.

“Can you, for once in your life, stop assuming what I feel or don't feel?” I shouted, losing my temper and making Y/N's arch her brows in surprise. “Most of the shareholders are fucking morons. When I started to deny their little perks and demands they ended up doing just the bare minimum"

Y/N pondered about what I said for a few seconds as I sat down at one of the steps, loosening my tie.

“It doesn't make sense... they would be jeopardized. They are shareholders, what happens to the company affects their profits”

“They did it in a subtle way, nothing really big. Just enough to make it stressful for me” I rested my forearms on my knees. “They want me gone, which is why I can’t lose the only person I trust in there” I glanced over Y/N to reassure her that I meant it. I do trust her. More than I trust myself.

“I thought you couldn't trust me anymore because I bought the shares” she argued, focusing on the wall in front of us.

“For God's sake, Y/N, why does everything with you turns into an argument?” I stood up. “Aren't we too old to be doing this?”

“We are and that's why I can't take it anymore” she agreed, also getting up. Her voice sounded defeated and exhausted. When she looked at me and gave me a faint smile before going back down the stairs, I felt that I had lost the fight and despair washed over me.

“You have a lot on your mind, I get it, I fucked up” I took a deep breath, trying to settle myself, “Go home, sleep on it and we’ll talk tomorrow, okay?”

Y/N’s gaze had changed, now she expressed complete disgust.

“Don't follow me” she warned, marching to the emergency exit and leaving me behind once again, only with the roaring noise of the iron door echoing on the cement walls around me.

* * * *

“I need to talk to you” I announced as soon as Yoon Gi answered the phone. “Can you meet me at Timber House in an hour?”

“No 'hello'? Shit must be serious” he fretted.

It was very serious for me. First, I needed my best friend to help me make sense of what happened tonight. Second, I must tell him about the shares as soon as possible so that we can find a way to reverse the deal.

As soon as I ended the call, I exited Dongbu Expressway and headed towards the Park Hyatt Hotel where my favorite bar was. The atmosphere was great, very private. The sushi was amazing and they had three types of Hwayo, which would definitely help me tonight. Yoon Gi introduced me to this place a few years ago and we have been going there ever since.

Once I got there and started descending to the lower level, I couldn't stop thinking about what Y/N said. ‘That's why I can't take it anymore’. I'm sure being an operations manager was stressful, but she never complained before. She seemed satisfied with her position. There must be another reason for her to give up, I just can't figure out what it is. And this is not about me just being a jerk, because she had to put up with many things over the years. I just hope Yoon Gi has some wise words to get me out of this mess.

I went through the big wooden door and turned right in the long hallway that made some turns before ending up in the dark and cozy lounge with several armchairs and tables. I could recognize this smell anywhere and the soft jazz melody playing in the background, mixed with the buzz of people eating and talking, made me feel at home.

Sitting in my usual corner and with my favorite soju in hand, I scrolled through my phone trying to distract myself until Yoon Gi arrived. After a few minutes, I saw him walking towards me. This guy looked like an angel of death. Elegant and sharp as always, dark hair and in an all-black outfit. A simple tee, knee-ripped jeans, blazer, and his classic Prada Saffiano leather booties. Definitely the opposite of what is expected for a CEO.

“Hey” he greeted as he sat in front of me and immediately turned to the waiter who quickly approached, “Ardbeg. Neat”

“What’s so urgent?” Yoon Gi questioned, crossing his legs and making himself comfortable.

“I have news” I started cautiously and he narrowed his eyes, “The first one is that Vante bought some Min shares without my authorization, the second is that Y/N resigned and the third is that one and two are correlated”

I drank the rest of the soju I had in my glass in one gulp, leaving Yoon Gi with wide eyes and a lot to process. I could see the gears in his mind spinning and trying to make sense of everything. I would laugh if I wasn't so desperate. The waiter, on the other hand, had impeccable timing because he arrived with Yoon Gi’s whiskey just right when he needed it the most and I took the opportunity to order the whole bottle of soju right away, leaving the tab open. 

This was going to be a long night.

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𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱 ❤ 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗹𝘆 𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝘀𝗸! 𝗶 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ revised version: 09.25.2021

A/n when will u come with nxt part???

oh hi anon :)

i know it’s been awhile, sorry. i don’t enjoy taking this long to update but i’ve been putting some extra hours at work — some days i stay until 9/10pm. i don’t mean to be lazy or anything it’s just that adult life gets in the way i guess

i’ll work hard this weekend to give you at least 1 chapter, but hopefully more. let’s see how it goes 🙏🏼

thanks for asking kindly and being interested in my story in the first place. i appreciate you more than you know!

xx

dear soulmate • knj one shot

summary: once a year, the system assigns soulmates according to the sincerity of their submission letters. ready to have your lives completely changed, namjoon and you sign up for the program, receiving on the first week of january the highly anticipated green envelope with each other's message

rating: pg warnings: none word count: 3.614 pairing: namjoon x reader genre: romance, fluff tags: soulmate!au, strangers to lovers additional tags: idol!namjoon, soulmate!namjoon

☆ disclaimer: this is a work of fiction taken from the depths of my imagination, which takes place in an alternative universe (AU) and has no real connection with people, places or organizations. everything you will read is fictional and created by me. i do not authorize its reproduction, translation or publication, partially or entirely © mrsparknamjoon

As soon as Namjoon received your letter, it was difficult for him to control the emotion and stop his hands from shaking. He could barely pull the emerald green envelope out of the mailbox. The package itself was unmistakable and everyone knew that soulmate mail arrived in the first week of January.

Taking a deep breath twice, the boy dried his now slightly sweaty hands on his jeans and stuffed one into the metal box with the number 1902 plastered on the front. Oh, that was really exciting! Namjoon couldn’t believe his eyes. Contrasting the green paper were the golden letters in a cursive font as if someone had written with liquid gold and a quill. Okay, maybe not an actual quill, but the poor boy was finding it all very fascinating and somewhat magical.

Holding the envelope close to his chest as if it were a newborn child who demanded the utmost care and protection, Kim Namjoon, the Korean idol and leader of the most successful group in the music industry, entered the elevator and violently pressed the number 19.

As it began ascending he repeated impatiently “Up! Up! Up!” and stared at the display above the door wishing that damn elevator was faster. "Come on!!!"

Ding.

"We’re stopping? No! No stopping!” said Namjoon exasperated while still holding the envelope as tight as he could.

"Good morning, Mr. Kim!”

“Good morning, Mrs. Lee!” the boy replied with a smile on his face as soon as the neighbor entered. After two seconds the dimples disappeared and he pressed even harder the button on the panel in front of him that closed the doors.

“Ah ... special delivery, I see. I'm sorry to disturb you, dear” said the nice old lady.

Namjoon was embarrassed. "You didn't disturb me, I'm just a little anxious" he confessed.

"It's normal. Enjoy every second, it happens only once in your life” Mrs. Lee replied with a sincere smile that turned her eyes into two crescent moons. "I remember like it was yesterday when I received mine..."

Before Namjoon could ask more about Mrs. Lee's soulmate, the elevator doors opened on his floor.

“I have to go, Mrs. Lee, but I'd love to hear about it one day” he said, scratching the back of his head a bit flustered.

“It will be a pleasure, Mr. Kim” said the neighbor, waving as the doors closed once more.

Namjoon walked in a hurry to the end of the corridor, stopping in front of his apartment door. This wasn't the dorm he shared with the boys, but his own place where he spent a few days a week, when their schedule allowed, and most of his days off. It was minimalist but cozy. Several paintings and sculptures scattered throughout the rooms. It was the perfect place to disconnect from the world and relax, and it was obviously secluded and quiet enough for him to read the most important piece of paper of his life with no interruptions.

When he finally found his keys, they slipped from his hand and dropped to the floor. Poor Joon, the level of nervousness had exceeded any acceptable limit and he was beginning to wonder if he would be able to read the whole letter or if he was going to pass out while on the first line. He was glad it arrived today, when he was here, imagine if the package had been in the mailbox for weeks? That is something the boy would never have forgiven himself for.

The beginning of the year was always hectic for the group since they had several international commitments and rarely stayed in Korea, but alas, this year things were different. The comeback was scheduled for May and the press tour in the United States was in early June. Isn't it funny how the universe works sometimes?

After successfully entering his home without dropping anything else, Namjoon took off his sneakers in the foyer as fast as he could and ran to the sofa, settling himself comfortably with a pillow in his lap to support the much-desired emerald envelope. He had turned in his letter about 4 months ago and the wait became agonizing as January approached. In the last week of December, he was barely able to concentrate on the interviews and had to make an absurd amount of effort to hide what was happening. Lucky for him, the rest of the group was very understanding and helped by answering most questions.

Speaking of questions, Namjoon repeated a few in his head while looking at the envelope in front of him:

Who is my soulmate? When will we meet? Has she read my letter yet? Or worse, did she like it?

Rather than simply opening the damn package as he had imagined so vividly for many nights, Namjoon simply froze. He felt the huge responsibility fall on his shoulders with a sudden weight. New doubts began swirling in his mind.

Was it a good idea? Will I be able to do this? What if it doesn't work out? Will I spend the rest of my life alone?             

"Breathe, Joon ... just breathe" he said to himself, closing his eyes and resting his hands on top of the envelope.

After a few seconds, he felt ready to start, and with his eyes closed, he began to tear one end of the envelope calmly and precisely. When the paper strip was free and in his right hand, Namjoon opened cautiously one eye and glanced at the object in his lap as if it was a ticking bomb.

"This is ridiculous" he said, opening his other eye realizing how pathetic he probably looked right now.

The boy then proceeded to pull a stack of neatly folded papers out of the envelope where the first of them said:

Dear soulmate,

I don't really know where to start. I postponed writing this letter for a long time and I'm sorry if it’s not to your liking or doesn't help at all, but that's me. Confused with life, with my feelings... with everything. I've been working on myself a lot and I hope you are patient.

I don’t know when you will receive this letter, or better yet, the time between my writing and it finally reaching your hands. We’re not supposed to say specific dates but there are only a few days left until my 29th birthday. Are you older than me? Younger? Will you care about my age? Probably not. It doesn't matter anyway, we are destined.

I should start by saying that…

What should I say?

What’s one interesting thing about me? Let's see …

Nothing terribly unique and extraordinary. I’m not extraordinary, but I would love to live extraordinary moments. Can you help me with that? And I don’t mean big moments in terms of proportion or even romantic gestures, I’m not that ambitious, only amazing memories that cannot be replicated by anyone other than the two of us.

Is it too much to ask?

Are you up for it?

I love being alive. Yeah, you should know that, it's a big part of who I am. The only problem is that I haven't been feeling myself for the past few years and excuse me for being so upfront about it. Although many good things have happened, I feel like something is missing, something I can't quite put my finger on. It's a void within me that, on most nights, I can ignore or supply in another way. But there are times when it comes in full force and kind of disables me.

Lying in bed at night, tears come silently and blur my view. Involuntarily I start to dry them out with the back of my hand but they persist and run down my cheeks towards the pillow. I change positions, close my eyes, try to focus on my heartbeat, thinking 'hey, you're alive, it's going to be okay' but my breath hitches, the sobs build up inside me, and I can’t do anything about it other than just feel. It's an out of body experience where I find myself in pure despair and anguish. So I stay like that for hours until tiredness wins and delivers me to sleep.

Why did I tell you all this? Maybe I should erase it…

No, I’ll keep it.

You need to know what you're 'getting into'.

By the way, I want to make it very clear that I don't need to be saved from anything. Much less from myself. I don't want you to fix me. I don't expect you to bring solutions to my inner struggles. It would be great though if you gave me an opening so that I could enter your life, get to know you, learn about all your virtues and defects, share your crazy things (you must have it! Everyone does), and love you in my weird way.

And I say ‘weird’ because I don't think I express love like everyone else does. At first, I thought I wasn’t capable of love, for real. Then I realized that I was but I loved the wrong people. In the end, I had an epiphany: I had so much love inside of me that I went around giving it all out, even to those who didn't deserve it. I desperately wanted to be loved back, at any cost, by anyone really, because maybe that person was the person who would prove me wrong like: yes, I am lovable.

Today, of course, I don't need that anymore. I know that I am lovable because I love myself a lot and it’s freaking great. I love myself wholeheartedly. I have so many qualities too, by the way, but I think it would be presumptuous to quote them all here. I would like to introduce you to each of them in person for what I hope to be the rest of our lives so I can't wait to meet you.

I promise to listen to you, support you, encourage you, and always think about your mental well-being. I promise to be a real partner, whom you can really rely and count on. I probably won’t understand your past, your insecurities, or your fears but I'll give my all to make our bond stronger every day and I'll show myself worthy of your trust. I'll put myself in your shoes and fight for what you believe too. We’ll be a team!

I don't know if this letter had any effect on you but honestly, I feel better now that I finished writing it. Apparently, you've already started helping me without even knowing me. Thank you!

With gratitude, Your soulmate.

Namjoon was speechless, his lips slightly parted and totally dry, his heart beating so fast and hard that he could feel the pounding in his ears. What he just read was undoubtedly the most genuine expression of feelings, and that says a lot because he had been surrounded for the past ten years by musicians, composers, and artists, people whose work depended directly on expression. He already felt like a lucky guy because of all the people in the world his soulmate was a true good person and equally interested in embarking on this journey with him.

 -----------------------------

 January 7th, the day your life changed forever.

It was a rainy Thursday and you were lying in bed looking out your window, analyzing the droplets forming one by one on the glass, and wondering if it was too early to go down and check the mailbox. A glance at the clock on the bedside table confirmed: 5:12 was, in fact, obscenely early and the postman most likely is not even awake.

As hard as you tried it was very difficult not to think how meaningful it was to receive the green envelope because not everyone had this opportunity throughout their lives. To become fit for the process it was necessary to:

1. Be born with the mark 2. Be over 25 years old 3. Write an honest letter

Among those who were not born with the mark, the reasons varied between 'your soulmate would not incarnate in the same timeframe as you in this life', 'this was yours and your soulmate's first life together and you should meet in order to form the bond' or 'unknown reason'. The unknown reason was a problem because there weren’t many studies on the subject and people within that category tended to think it was like a punishment, but for what exactly, they didn't know and maybe never would.

Fortunately, you fit the three requirements perfectly and a few days before your 29th birthday, you gathered your courage and sent the most honest letter you could write after two and a half glasses of wine. This was an important step because letters that did not contain pure feelings were automatically discarded by the system. The selection was purely based on energy, like a magnet. Those that emanated sincerity were "attracted" and those that were not, discarded right away. It was a way for the system to keep itself free of fraud and just pair the interested, committed, and ready soulmates.

What happens to the discarded letters? Well, from what you heard about your cousin who worked at the government headquarters, the sender receives a notice with a new delivery date for the letter. In total, three chances were given. Whoever failed in all three could only have a new opportunity to find their soulmate in the next life — which is horrible for the other person, isn't it? If she or he did the process correctly it should be all right, but like any relationship, this was a two-way street and required commitment from both sides. It didn't happen very often, but it was still frustrating to receive the red envelope basically saying “next time, ‘kay?”.

It is possible to live and love another person throughout life. Finding your soulmate isn't mandatory, but most people yearned for this deep connection and one of the reasons why the system has worked so well for hundreds of years. It was unlike anything else, totally addictive!

After submitting the letter, you felt as if a weight had been lifted from you, but a twinge of concern remained in the back of your mind. How long did your soulmate wait for the envelope to be delivered? Just imagining that he could have spent more than one January waiting makes your heart sink — but you pushed those thoughts away as fast as they arrived because now was not the time for distractions!

When you finally got up at 5:50 after turning over in bed like a pancake you went straight to the bathroom and drew a bath with all the oils and essences you were entitled to. Even some candles you lit! Today would start on the right foot, yes sir.

While preparing breakfast, you hit play on your favorite playlist to set the mood properly and also keep you distracted. Checking the mailbox at ten seemed like a reasonable decision, you reflected as you set up the coffee machine, neither too early nor too late. Surely by then, the long-waited green envelope would have been pristinely placed in the box hanging at the gate of your house.

Time seemed to be moving in slow motion and there was nothing you could do to deflect your thoughts about being in imminent proximity to your soulmate. Okay, it was just a piece of paper and not actually him, but you couldn't help feeling anxious and slightly excited either way. Trying to work amid this anxiety was useless, however, something inside told you it would be okay and, for now, it was enough. 

“Focus, focus, focus!” you repeated, closing your eyes tightly.

The second the alarm on your phone rang indicating it was ten in the morning, your heart almost went out through your mouth. 

“This is it. It’s happening!” you took a deep breath, standing up in front of the sofa and, after a few seconds adjusting your hair and clothes, went to the front door, towards your future.

The distance between the door and the mailbox could not be more than 10 steps, but at that very moment, it seemed like 10 miles. Curiosity was practically excruciating, it bubbled up inside you and was about to spill out. When your hand lowered the lid, your eyes could immediately see the most beautiful shade of green that ever existed and which also perfectly symbolized the moment: new beginnings. You reached the package with your fingertips and then pulled it towards you in one swift motion, holding it in both hands, staring with teary eyes the golden letters displaying your name very brightly. Thank God the rain stopped, you wanted to keep the envelope forever and any drop of water near it would be absolutely disastrous.

Now sitting at the dining table and using a paper-knife, you carefully cut one side of the envelope and pulled a surprising amount of paper out of it. All of them are properly aligned and folded in a single stash. The first page made your heart skip a beat as it said:

Dear soulmate,

I look forward to meeting you. It's a shame we can't describe ourselves in the letters, I would love to imagine you by my side. Not that I care about physical appearance, it's not that, it's simply easier to imagine the moments we will spend together. I'm not trying to trick you, I promise!

What I do for a living is different and I am scared that you might not receive it very well. I mean... I'm afraid of what it can do to your life to the point where you'll end up resenting me in the future. The thing is: I love what I do but I would be devastated if it resulted in something negative for you.

I'm sorry, I'm anxious.

I have a bit of experience with writing and different ways of showing my feelings, but this letter is probably one of the pieces that I had the most difficulty composing. Am I allowed to say that? Anyway, please know that I'll always prioritize our communication, telling you about my day, which makes me feel good, what upsets me and how I'm feeling. I won't hide anything from you, I don't want to.

I wonder if you like to talk. I love it. Do you like to read too? I already have a list of books I want to pick your brain about. In general, I’m a pretty reserved guy, who reflects a lot about the meaning of life — is that too weird? I don’t think so. It would be too cruel for us to be predestined without having anything in common, right? I can’t wait to have intense conversations over breakfast about the most random stuff. I’m a fun person, I swear!

As I write this letter, I am sitting on the balcony of my apartment, it's night and I can see thousands of lights on the horizon giving life to the city. Are you there? Do you think of me? In the last few years I didn't have much time to think about you, I must say, but a few months ago I started to feel this emptiness inside my heart. As if something is missing. Anything nice that happened over that period of time I would get excited, of course, but it wasn't 100% genuine because there was still this voice in the back of my head telling me: more.

I decided to accept that, yes, I want more. I already have a lot and admittedly it would be very selfish of me to wish even further, but to what extent should I sacrifice myself? How long do I ignore these deep feelings? I see my friends with their soulmates and I think that's what I need — someone to fill that void. But not filling it out in terms of "if I don't have it my life is meaningless or it will end" but rather like "a deep connection like this can add and intensify life" and I love living. Don't get me wrong, I am very happy and accomplished... I just need.... someone to share it all with.

I hope you are an understanding, intelligent, and patient person. There are many things that I don't know and need to learn, but I’m always so ashamed of asking for help. Who knows? Perhaps by your side, I’ll give up my insecurities and let myself be taught? I think I'm ready! Are you?

Ah, before I forget, no matter what, you're going to have a friend in me. A true, sincere, fair, and caring confidant. And if you allow me, I'll lead both of our lives in a confident, relaxed, and stimulating way. We will walk side by side, always.

Well, that was all I had to say.

See you soon!

With love, Your soulmate.

You cried and laughed simultaneously while reading and rereading the letter at least five times. It was absurdly surreal what was going on. You felt like the center of attention for the first time in your life. You were desired. Expected. A completely new and overwhelming sensation that permeated every cell in your body. Your soulmate hasn't even touched you yet and the goosebumps on your skin are already visible. Not to mention that right off the bat he seemed adorable. The way he spoke was as if he already knew you, already understood how your mind works. Cautious, polite, and funny — that was your soulmate. What a lucky girl you are, huh?

01. the linchpin | reliability • kth

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pairing: taehyung x reader word count: 1.900 genre: drama, light angst rating: pg-13 warnings: cursing au: ceo/office trope: enemies to friends to lovers tags: ceo!taehyung, office!au, best friend!yoongi, unresolved emotional tension, mutual pining, slow burn crosspost: ao3

summary: a predictable mistake in buying shares becomes the perfect opportunity for taehyung to show everybody in the company no one is above his rules. what he didn’t know was that his plan would backfire making him question what the real meaning of trust is

A/N: this story began as a drabble bc i love dramatic scenes, whether in movies, television or books. confrontation is always one of my favorite things about them so i decided to try to write one for the first time ever. clearly i still have a lot to learn but i hope you like it!

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Another meeting, another group of incompetent people that I can't believe I hired. Sitting at the end of a long wood table, I scrolled through my phone reading a few emails while all the shareholders took their positions. It was absurd that I had to call a meeting on Friday night because of a predictable and, quite frankly, stupid mistake but here we were.

“Mr. Kim, we're ready” my secretary said discreetly as she handed me a folder filled with documents.

“Thank you” I replied as I got up from the chair and started spreading the papers on the table in front of me.

“Good evening! First, I would like to thank you all for coming on such short notice. The reason for this emergency meeting is to talk about the purchase of a few Min Industries shares” I paused and gazed into the eyes of everyone present. Some of them were curious, tired, others frightened and one in particular very angry.

“I believe all of you realized that ever since it happened our company has started to fall into devaluation, thanks to someone’s stupid and hasty decision” I continued while looking at the documents before me. “I don't want an explanation about what happened or why it happened, just how we are going to solve it” I turned and faced my main suspect, “Today”

“Mr. Kim, if I may, I think I speak for everyone here when I say that there is nothing legally wrong with the purchase” said Lee Sung, one of our oldest and most efficient lawyers. Still, it was a matter of principle for me and everyone knew that.

“I understand, Mr. Lee, but this is not what I'm worried about” I began calmly walking around the table while elaborating my thoughts, “You see... although Min Industries doesn’t compete directly with us they have affiliates who do. Therefore…”

“Therefore it’s smart to buy the shares precisely because it gives us more control over the affiliates” said Y/N, interrupting me.

I couldn't help the smirking that escaped my lips. Y/N took the bait and it was all I needed. From the beginning, I knew she was the one leading the expansion project and everything was going well until she put my credibility with Min Yoon Gi in check.

Yoon Gi and I are old friends, practically brothers, but our families have a particular rivalry that has lasted for almost 50 years. It is nothing that explicit or dramatic. An outsider wouldn't see the animosity, for example. I see it as a truce, however, it's still a delicate matter for our parents and grandparents. When we both took over the businesses, we agreed that we would not repeat their mistakes and promised to interfere as little as possible in each other's company. If it was strictly necessary, we would have to talk before any steps were taken. That was the deal and that is why I was furious at Y/N's audacity to make a decision like this one. She was aware of our family's situation even if not exactly about what I had promised my friend.

“Are you serious, miss Y/LN?”

“Why would I be kidding?” she replied looking confused, twisting the pen between her fingers like she was bored.

“I have no idea, but to call that a smart decision, one that immediately impacts my company's profit, not to mention my personal reputation, seems like a joke. And a bad one to say the least” I said, staring at her intensely as I approached her chair.

The atmosphere got heavy and I couldn't care less. I was right and everyone knew it. Y/N took a risk, as she is paid to do, but the risk was not worth it and she needed to take responsibility for it. If it was anyone else I would have already fired without even calling a meeting. Luckily, she's a key part of the company and one of the shareholders as well so I decided to scold her in front of others to send a subtle warning that nothing goes unnoticed by me and that measures will always be taken, regardless of the level of the hierarchy. This is my way to send a warning because I don't do threats.

Y/N gulped and shifted in her chair, visibly uncomfortable with my proximity.

“So I'm going to ask you again, miss Y/N: are you serious?” I crossed my arms and tilted my head to the side, watching her try very hard not to lose her composure. I had known Y/N for a long time and she always managed to be as cold as me, yet on occasions where her professionalism was questioned her replies used to be impulsive.

“Mr. Kim, I'll be frank” she started, standing up and walking towards the pulpit next to the projection screen. “It was indeed a risk on my part to put Vante Enterprises ahead of such a high-profile acquisition and, for the embarrassment caused, I sincerely apologize”

“Why do I feel like there's a 'but' coming?” I asked, sitting on the chair that she left vacant.

“But"

“See?” I turned to Seo Nu sitting on my left. He laughed politely because I laughed first. Deep down he didn't think it was funny and just wanted to suck up to me. Clever.

“But I still believe that in the long run, we’ll reap great results… excellent results, in fact! Here's a chart” Y/N pointed at the screen in front of us and began to confidently defend her decision, clearly and calmly, completely different from the Y/N of a minute ago who I thought would lose her temper.

* * * * * * *

The meeting room broke out in applause as soon as Y/N finished presenting a chain of detailed information regarding the shares, and although I was surprised by the level of research she prepared, I was unable to hide my dissatisfaction as CEO by confirming that Y/N still didn't understand the problem.

“Could you guys excuse us?” I looked at Y/N and then at the other shareholders. Since the person responsible presented herself there was no need to keep putting on a show, right? I got up, buttoned my jacket, and returned to my original spot on the table to organize the papers I had left lying there.

While arranging them all in a pile, the room emptied and Y/N approached.

“You love to exaggerate things, don't you?” she snarled looking me up and down.

“You love to ignore the rules and interfere with what doesn't concern you, don't you?” I fired back mimicking her attitude.

Y/N stopped for a moment and studied my expression. For a split second, I could feel a question in the air as if she wanted to know if that's what I actually thought of her — a nosy and unprofessional person who ignored her superiors on purpose. I didn’t. She looked hurt. Still, her voice gave no indication that my response had affected her.

“I love my work! It's great and you pay me well” she said, taking the papers from my hand. “Oh, what do we have here?”

“Don't be childish, give me the papers Y/N” I motioned my hands and closed my eyes feeling exhausted.

“What are these projections? How come I have never seen them before?” Y/N's voice came out louder than before depicting a mixture of shock and disbelief. “There is no actual proof that these companies are connected, it doesn't make sense” she walked back to the pulpit, eyes glued to the documents to compare the numbers and references with the slides she had spent hours preparing.

“Y/N give me the papers, that information is above you” I demanded in a firm tone. “Besides, my intention with today's meeting was to get you to find a solution to your own mess but even that you weren't able to”

“How can I solve it if I don't have all the information, Tae Hyung?” Y/N lowered the papers she was gripping so tightly in front of her face and I could see red, teary eyes along with the angry tone in her voice. She hadn't called me Tae Hyung since college and that felt like a blow in my stomach.

“If I had known that the companies were connected I would have thought twice before buying the shares... I…” Y/N's voice failed but she cleared her throat and continued “...this is your fault!”

“Mine?” I asked dumbfounded.

“You left me in the dark and I made an important decision without having all the information” she pushed the papers onto my chest and started pulling the projector's wires angrily, “This is not what I call trust”

“Seriously? Are we going to talk about trust? Bit ironic, don’t you think?” I started chasing her around the room while she collected her belongings and threw them into a big purse.

Y/N snorted like what I just said was absurd.

“You know very well the situation between my family and Yoon Gi's. I always made it clear that we don't do business with them and yet you went there and did it” I placed my hand on top of her purse, preventing her from continuing what she was doing. “Where is my trust in you now?” I questioned her almost in a pleading tone.

Y/N pulled the purse off the table in one swift motion and I almost lost my balance.

“You know what? You're right. I was wrong” she said, looking defeated. “I shouldn't have shown interest in shares that involved Yoon Gi's company, but you definitely shouldn't have hidden these documents from me either” she continued taking a few steps back, slowly moving away from me. “And that's where you fucked up. You're still obsessed with secrets and rules, keeping everyone who tries to help you away"

“Wait a minute” I interjected. This was unfair, it was not like that.

“I'm not done talking” she gazed at me very seriously and I had no choice but to stop and listen. “I know that we have differing opinions on many things and I have teased you too much in the past 10 years with my analysis and requirements, but I never... I say never... would do anything that would harm the company”

“I know” I whispered, feeling kind of dumb for blurting it all out like that.

“It doesn't look like it” she placed the purse on her shoulder. “For me, you're trying to find a reason to get me out of here”

My jaw dropped in shock. Y/N had no idea how much I valued her work, and at this very moment, I didn't know what to say first. An apology? An explanation? A plea? I could have said anything, but I didn't. Not even a fucking sound. My mouth remained open as my thoughts flew through my mind at a frightening speed, making it look like I was confirming her impression.

“I’m gonna save you the trouble. I quit”

Y/N gave me what looked like a small bow or maybe a quick nod as if to excuse herself and then left the room without another word, leaving me leaning against the table without understanding what had just happened, finding myself, for the first time in a long time, completely alone.

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𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱 ❤ 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗹𝘆 𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝘀𝗸! 𝗶 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ revised version: 09.25.2021

Me too.. too blind to see.. ahh... wt will happen...

the real question i wanna know is: what do you think will happen? 😏 i feel a plot twist coming soon though

07. a double-edged sword | reliability • kth

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pairing: taehyung x reader word count: 4.738 genre: drama, light angst rating: pg-13 warnings: cursing au: ceo/office trope: enemies to friends to lovers tags: ceo!taehyung, office!au, best friend!yoongi, unresolved emotional tension, mutual pining, slow burn crosspost: ao3

summary: over the course of a month, tae is forced to face his feelings in order to fix things with Y/N. but will he be able to? she has some news.

A/N: a double-edged sword: a situation or course of action having both positive and negative effects. in this particular chapter i wanted to show that even when you have the best intentions at heart, things might take an inexpected turn and get you back to square one

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≡ 24 hours later ≡

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Saturday. 11pm. I was trying so hard to fell asleep but my stupid and stubborn brain only knew how to repeat Y/N, Y/N, Y/N, over and over and over and over again — it was driving me nuts.

Yoon Gi helped. He truly did. I felt so much better after talking to him but to be completely honest he stirred some shit inside me too and I wasn't sure how productive the next few days were going to be. If I can't sleep, how am I supposed to focus on work? Y/N may have quit but I was still CEO and had a lot of people depending on me.

In the dark, the light beams that came in through the bedroom window made shadows with interesting shapes and I stared at the ceiling as if it was going to give me the answers I needed.

I took a deep breath.

They say there are 5 stages to grieving: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. I already went through 3 but out of order. Does that count?

At first, I tried to bargain with Y/N. No success there. Then I went to straight denial as Yoon Gi casually pointed out how dumb and blind I have been. Now I'm getting depressed because I don't really see a way out of this. Y/N is gone.

Another deep breath.

Maybe I should go make ramen.

In the kitchen, while setting everything up, I went over different conversations I had with Y/N over the years, looking for any hint that my subconscious could have given me that I genuinely liked her. It was still weird to talk about it so openly, even in my own head. Bringing to consciousness something that was asleep, for whatever reason, was uncomfortable.

I'm not sure why I made a point of burying the possibility inside me. Maybe because I believed she hated me (but if she hated you so much, why did she go to work for you?), maybe because I thought she didn't have time for a relationship (she didn't have time because you loaded her with work, idiot) or it was because I was simply afraid (this seems like the most logical option, congratulations). The dialogue with myself went on for a while until the ramen was just the way I like it and I ate out of the pan sitting at the dinner table.

What do I really feel for her?

Is it attraction? Admiration? Lust?

What do I like about her?

If I text Yoon Gi right now will he block me? Probably.

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≡ 1 week later ≡

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “You have been quiet since you got here, honey. Did something happen?” my mom asked as she calmly sliced her steak. Joining us at the table were my father, my brother, and his fiancee Hyun Jae.

“Don't tell me you lost the exclusivity deal with that Australian company” my dad sipped some of his wine while my mom gave an elusive nudge with her elbow making him almost spit his drink.

“No dad, I renewed the deal” I replied.

“So what happened?” my mom insisted, more concerned now, even making Ye Jun lookup.

“Nothing, nothing” I reaffirmed with a (fake) smile making her smile too. “Tell me about the wedding, Jun. Have you guys set the date yet?” I pointed the knife at my brother and my future sister-in-law.

“September 15th” Hyun Jae nodded sheepishly.

“Excellent! I will ask Eun Ae to block my schedule"

“Thank you, Tae” Ye Jun smiled.

“It will be here in Seoul, a classic but intimate ceremony. We are not going to invite many people, just the dearest ones” Hyun Jae explained. “Are you bringing someone?”

I think she must have asked the question that everyone there wanted to ask because the three heads immediately turned to me. My mom because she was curious, my father because he was surprised, and my brother because of Hyun Jae's boldness. Now it was his turn to nudge her with his elbow.

“You can bring someone, or not, it’s fine, we don't care” she laughed embarrassed. “I mean, we do care, you are very important, we are family…” she immediately corrected herself.

“Baby, I think he got it” Ye Jun put his hand on top of Hyun Jae's, making her stop and breathe. It was actually funny the way she blushed. My brother, poor guy, head over heels for her, admired every tiny detail on her face. They deserve each other.

“You should bring Y/N” my mom commented with a smirk as if she had said the most brilliant thing ever.

My dad looked at her a little surprised, “She's a good girl, but wouldn't she give the wrong impression?”

I didn't even have time to say anything, because my mom already intervened as if Y/N was her own daughter, “What do you mean wrong?”

“No, not like that” said my father, “She works at Vante, she is not Tae Hyung's girlfriend. People gossip, you know Soo Jin?”

“And what do you know about gossip, anyway?” my mom narrowed her eyes.

“I'm right here, guys” I remarked, “Doesn't my opinion count?”

“Right” my dad rolled his eyes at my mom and turned to me, “What do you think? Would she accept the invitation even though she only has a professional relationship with you?”

“Maybe, I'll have to ask her” I took another bite of my food. With my mouth full I can't spill out that Y/N no longer works at Vante. My father would kill me.

* * * *⠀

As I'm walking to the front door to grab my jacket and car keys after I said goodbye to my family, I hear footsteps approaching behind me. To no surprise at all, it was my mother.

“You used to stay longer, you know?” she stood beside me, snuggling to her beautiful peach cardigan. Her cheekbones had a light shade of pink and her hair was up in a ponytail. She looked so young.

“I'm sorry mom, I really have to go”

“But it's Sunday” she pouted, hugging my right arm and stopping me from putting the other side of the jacket on.

My mom had this adorable side that came out every once in a while, whenever she needed some attention. Didn't happen much, but at the same time, it made my heart grow bigger. It also made me a little bit sad too since I knew it was because she was feeling either sad or lonely.

“Yeah, I know, I wish I could but there's a lot to be done at the company and I have to prepare for a big meeting tomorrow” I (white) lied since I'm embarrassed about the actual reason why. A part of that statement was true though.

“I know that excuse all too well” my mom side-eyed me, letting go of my arm, “Your dad used to say it quite a lot”

More and more I see traits of my dad in me and I hate it. I swore from the beginning that I was going to be different. Better. Look at me treating my mom the same way he did for so many years. I'm pathetic.

“Can't you ask Y/N to help you or handle the meeting? Just this once” she pleaded, watching me put the car keys in the jacket’s front pocket, “Your brother's wedding it's in 6 weeks and I need to discuss some things with you before"

“Uh…” I paused for a second. I should have seen this question coming. “Y/N is very busy too” I shrugged nonchalantly.

My mom furrowed her eyebrows.

“Let me check my schedule” I quickly intervened, holding her by the shoulders, trying to change the subject, “I think I can come to dinner next Friday and we’ll talk about the wedding”

“Fine” she sighed in defeat.

I gave her a big box smile and a kiss on the forehead, “Okay, I gotta go now, mom”

As I was reaching for the doorknob she said, “Wait, just one more thing”

“Yeah?” I turned around.

She looked me dead in the eyes, cute attitude long gone. “Apologize to Y/N”

“W-what?” I stammered in shock.

“I don't know what you did, but just apologize” she pointed her finger at me as if I was five years old and just did something naughty.

“How did you…” I avoided her stare, letting out a nervous laugh.

“Whenever we asked about her you gave evasive answers” she said just before poking me in the chest, “And I know you"

This was my problem and I didn’t want my mom worrying about it. She had a tendency to want to solve everything for everyone and I suspect she would also like me to date Y/N. To this day, I don't know what her real intention was in insisting on hiring Y/N, but something tells me that it was love at first sight for my mother — unlike me, which was not even on the 8790th sight. If my mother could have chosen to have a daughter, I’m sure she would describe Y/N head to toe, flaws and all.

“Thanks mom but I'll find a way to fix it” I replied with a faint smile, barely holding it together. If she only knew how I was feeling inside.

“Oh, I know that, you always do” she gave me a wink, “Just remember to speak from the heart” and rubbed my chest.

“I did that. Didn't work"

“Are you sure?” she squinted her eyes.

“What do you mean? Of course!” I pulled away.

“Tae Hyung, you have a terrible way to communicate your feelings” she looked back at the living room making sure no one was close by to listen to the next part as she whispered, “and that's on me and your dad" I laughed and she returned to normal volume, “So I highly doubt you knew what you were doing”

“I asked her to stay, that I needed her there”

“Wait, why?” she grabbed my arm again and led me towards the door.

“She quit” I whispered as we crossed the threshold.

“What?” my mom shouted.

“Shh!!” I said while closing the door behind us and pulling her close to me as we walked to the driveway, “Yes, I fucked up really bad mom, but I know that if I can just talk to her one more time I'll convince her to change her mind”

“Where is she now?” my mom asked, lowering the hand that was over her mouth.

There’s no more hiding, I guess. I need to come clean.

“I don't know"

“Good God, Tae Hyung” she slapped my arm, “How in the world did you manage to lose your most devoted and talented employee?”

“By being an asshole” I confessed.

She rolled her eyes, “Lovely”

The moment we approach my car I suddenly turn around, desperation fully displayed on my face, “Can you just please keep this a secret? I'll figure something out, just don't tell dad yet”

My mom pondered for a few seconds. Not if she was going to tell my dad or not, because I knew she wouldn't do it, but what to say to me next. I could see in her eyes how worried she was and how badly she wanted to offer me some kind of solution (the family's problem solver, remember?). Instead, she just used the old-fashioned threat, “You better!”

“Now I really have to go” I gave her a hug. “I love you”

“I love you too” she squeezed me a bit tighter before taking a step back and cupping my face, “And remember: be honest. With her, and with yourself”

“I will…” I nodded, promising myself that as difficult as it was, I would try. My mom was right and that was good advice.

“And stop being an asshole” she moved her hands from my cheeks and rested them on my shoulders.

That was also another good piece of advice, although more difficult to execute, so I just laughed, “I will”

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≡ 1 month later ≡

 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Right after I got out of the shower, while still drying my hair, I noticed my phone light up and vibrate over the sink. It took me a few seconds to register the name that appeared in large letters at the top: Y/N. I threw the towel away and picked up the device as fast as I could, almost dropping it on the floor. Desperate was an understatement.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Are you at home?” she asked, which I immediately replied with a grunt which made her continue, “Can I come in? We need to talk”

The tone in Y/N's voice was serious but didn’t show anger as I thought it would; not like that day on the emergency staircase, at least. I ran over to the intercom and saw her on the camera. The request was surprising, the time even more so. It wasn't like her to show up here at my house, so whatever she had to talk about it must be urgent. Okay, Y/N was the topic of conversation, but something stirred inside me and I started to feel restless.

“Sure” I replied, pressing the button that opened the gate and ending the call right away.

She caught me so off guard and I didn't even have time to put clothes on! I was still in my bathrobe. Damn, this doesn't seem appropriate. As soon as I heard the front door open, I ran into the bedroom and put on the first outfit I saw, a set of black sweats.

Back in the living room, Y/N was sitting on the couch with her elbows resting on her thighs and her chin in her hands, swinging back and forth. Was she nervous or just bored?

“Ah, hello!” I coughed first to announce my presence, “Sorry, I just got out of the shower”

“That’s okay” she straightened up and smiled, watching me walk around the couch and sit, “I should have given you a heads up before coming and not simply show up at your doorstep”

“You are always welcome” I adjusted the glasses on the bridge of my nose, still unsure of what to say next and somewhat afraid of what she had to tell me, “Did something happen?”

Y/N took a deep breath.

Oh-oh, that doesn't sound good.

“Over the past few weeks, I thought a lot about what happened, about the things I said and, especially about the things I didn't say” she looked away, now staring at the tv on the wall in front of us. “Do you remember that acquisition in Hong Kong?”

It took me a few seconds to pinpoint the memory but I smiled when I did, “Sure, it was your first international purchase”

That day Y/N was so happy and I remember thinking ‘It's just another purchase, why is she smiling so much?’, without even considering how meaningful it must have been for her.

“Yes, but what I remember most vividly about that day was the way you treated me” her gaze now returned to me, nostalgic and a kind of sad, “I felt invincible because you believed that I could be invincible” she smiled without showing her teeth as if the memory itself was a little painful to talk about.

“I thought you knew” I replied frowning, “You always acted like you were” I chuckled and Y/N blushed.

“Apparently, we never properly recognized how alike we are and how we have influenced each other over the years, have we?” she asked.

I thought about it for a moment, “Yeah, I guess you’re right”

“Everything has always been so implicit” she nodded, “At least for me…”

“Of course, for me too. I was never big on words, you know that” I agreed.

“Maybe that was our mistake too” she observed, suddenly making me understand exactly what this conversation was about. Watching my reaction closely, she continued, “You know what I'm talking about, don't you?”

I knew, of course I did, but it is so difficult to say it out loud.

“My inability to say thank you?” I teased, trying to be funny, too much of a coward to keep going. Why am I like this? Why do I have to make things more complicated? It's so simple. She is so simple.

“I was talking about how we both took each other's trust for granted and ended up abusing certain situations, thinking it would be okay and just brushing them off when in fact the chance of us getting hurt and feeling betrayed was pretty big” Y/N shrugged, “but sure, you can be really ungrateful”

Shit.

I must have spent a lot of time staring at my feet, searching for the right words, because she took advantage of my silence to keep talking.

“Precisely because I knew you trusted me so much, it didn't even cross my mind to consult you on such a small acquisition and, at that time, very insignificant and disconnected of Min Industries, because I had done it before” she paused and glanced back at me just to make sure that I was following along. “You, on the other hand, thought that I would stay, even after I was humiliated and hurt because that wasn’t the first time that we disagreed on something and you put on a little show”

Yup, she called me on my bullshit. I really took our relationship for granted. When I think of the selfish way in which I made certain decisions or how I treated her, it almost seems like an out-of-body experience. It is as if I look at myself and couldn’t recognize the person in front of me.

“My mistake was to assume that you knew and respected me enough not to use me as a pawn in a pathetic power scheme” Y/N continued, now with a little more urgency in her voice, “And yours was that I was going to tolerate this behavior forever and quietly; a bit submissively too”

She got up and started pacing around the room, “I should have told you that your attitude bothered me but I was busy and naively waiting for that Hong Kong Tae Hyung to appear. The one who was kind, empathetic, and also funny” she seemed lost in thought but not for long. She then regained focus and asked me with bitterness in her voice, “I wanted to be your friend, wasn’t it obvious?”

“No, quite the opposite” I snapped.

“Since college”

“What?” I widened my eyes, “You ignored me in college"

“Because in the few interactions we had, you always found a way to criticize me”

“Wait, you criticized me” I said, getting up and pointing a finger at Y/N.

She watched me do this and pointed her finger back, stammering a little bit, “I-I did it because you did it first”

“I'm so confused…” I massaged my temples as I walked towards the kitchen. Water, I need water.

Y/N was right behind me. She stopped in front of the island and watched me open the fridge. “You really have no idea what's going on around you, do you? Always oblivious”

“I don’t do it on purpose, Y/N” I justified, slamming the door and opening the bottle of water. My voice came out a little harsh because of the mocking tone she had used before — I couldn't help it, this is how we communicate. She noticed.

“But it doesn't hurt any less because of it” she whispered, lowering her head and staring at the counter.

Even after I realized my reaction was exaggerated and being completely aware that this was the whole point of the conversation, I couldn't hold back the following words and kind of shouted, “Is that what you wanted to tell me? At this hour of the night? That I’m a bad person? Thanks, I got the memo”

Y/N took a deep breath, “I'll let this one slide”

Does she want to lay all the cards on the table? Great, let’s do it.

“You know what?” I started, taking a quick sip of water and closing the bottle, “I've been waiting to hear from you for over a month. I was desperate thinking that something had happened. Now you show up here, late at night, with what I thought would be an explanation or at least a productive conversation, but no” I faced Y/N, my hands resting on the cold marble, fingertips gripping the edge tightly. “What do you want?”

“To tell you straight up I’m tired” she replied without any emotion in her voice, “I'm tired of your games, trying to understand your obsession with rules, sympathizing with your family problems, giving my blood sweat, and tears for Vante, acting like your work wife, giving up quality time with my family or any possibility of personal life” she shifted the weight from one leg to the other and tilted her head a little to the side, “I just wanted you to see me as worthy”

“Worthy?” I asked.

“Worthy of your time, of your friendship, and who knows, maybe something more” Y/N ended with a humorless laugh, the kind you give after hearing something absurd or a bad joke.

“Something more?” I blinked trying to assimilate the information.

Y/N rolled her eyes, “Don't try to be funny now”

“Promise I’m not” I raised both hands.

“Tae Hyung, for God's sake, the tension between us is palpable, it always has been. Can you honestly tell me you didn't feel it?” she leaned over the island and grabbed the water bottle in front of me and drank right away.

“Well, yes... I did” I scratched my head, “but you are so hard to read…”

“That's because you never bothered to get to know me. Not really” she capped the bottle and tossed it back to me, “Back in college you made sure to put up a wall between us. I don't even know you”

“What are you talking about?” I grabbed the bottle with one hand in a quick reflex, “You’re the person who knows me the best, Y/N” I pointed the bottle back at her.

“You only get that impression because we spent hours on end together, but when was the last time you told me anything personal?”

Wait, that was a valid question. When was the last time? I'm sure it wasn't that long ago. Hold on, I'll remember. It was that day... no, it was that time...

“See?” she crossed her arms, taking advantage of my inner monologue.

“We’re digressing” I walked around the kitchen, returning to the couch, “What is this worthy thing all about? Do you…” I paused as I sat down, biting my bottom lip “Do you like me?” I asked.

Y/N, still in the kitchen, laughed to herself before slapping the island's surface, “Out of everything I said, is this the part you’re focusing on?”

“Oh I'm sorry if I'm a little shocked by the ton of information you just dumped on me” I said in a sarcastic tone, getting up from the couch feeling the adrenaline running through my body, it was impossible to stay still. “It’s obvious that I had no idea that you felt so bad working at Vante, if I had known I would have done something about it. I never wanted or expected you to give up your life for me or the company, now I feel bad”

“It is what it is” she put her hands in the front pockets of the plaid maxi blazer and walked towards me.

“No, it doesn't work like that” I shook my head “It’s like you don't know the basics”

Then that's it. We reached the point of no return. With each new information Y/N revealed, more urgent was my need to make everything clear. I was scared as hell, but we had no choice. Either we talked about how we really felt or we would end our relationship for good.

“You can't come to my house and say everything you want to say and hope that I don't say anything back. The last month was a fucking nightmare for me, I replayed that night over and over in my head, dissecting all my answers and finding three new ones, because I knew I made the biggest mistake of my life” I felt like my heart was going to come out of my mouth, blood pumping in my ear, my hands were starting to sweat, “If I could go back in time, I would, but I can’t. And where were you for me to properly apologize?”

“I needed some time” she muttered.

“Yes, I understand, I don’t blame you. But now you’re here. Let's talk!”

Y/N was still standing behind the couch, her facial expression impassive, just waiting for what I was going to say next. I, on the other hand, had already taken off my glasses and moved to the front of the tv, walking back and forth in an attempt to calm down a little and choose the right set of words.

“I know I already said it, but I’m gonna say it again, I shouldn't have humiliated you in front of the shareholders, let alone questioned your trust or loyalty to me and Vante. For that and also for being an absolute jerk most of the time, I sincerely apologize”

Y/N nodded.

“It was never my intention to hurt you, drive you away, or disrespect you. You are the person I admire the most within the company. That day I saw the perfect opportunity and went for it. I thought that if I showed the shareholders that even the “boss’s favorite” didn’t have privileges, of course, they wouldn’t” I said calmly and slowly so that she had time to absorb everything.

“I am obsessed with rules because they help me find order amid chaos” I continued, “I’m terrible with surprises. I hate the feeling of helplessness that comes attached to error. My perfectionist nature limits me more than it helps and if I could change something about myself it would be that”

I walk towards Y/N, the only thing between us is the couch.

“Believe me, I didn’t make a conscious choice to use them as an obstacle to anything, including a relationship. I'm sorry for that too” I rubbed my eyes, taking a deep breath.

“About telling you things about my personal life, I honestly thought you didn't care at all” I looked up to meet her eyes, “Even before Vante, you never seemed to care about me that way” I put my hands in my sweatshirt pocket, “You mentioned the wall I put up, but you must have helped me build it because I also know very little about your life. Have you noticed that?”

Y/N was speechless. From her reaction, I could see I struck a nerve. She was too focused on pointing out my defects and forgot to recognize her own.

“Huh…” she said, narrowing her eyes after thinking for a while, “I think you’re right. Better late than never then”

“What?”

“Eric proposed to me” Y/N stated.

I shake my head, suddenly dizzy by what I just heard. Torn between confusion, despair, and a nervous breakdown, I feel like screaming and laughing at the same time because if I heard her correctly it is ridiculous. 

“Are you serious?”

Was Y/N testing me? I thought she liked me. Up until three minutes ago, that was what she made me believe. I’m not crazy, she said 'something more’, didn't she? So how could she be marrying another guy? And that stupid englishman of all people? It must be a joke.

“Didn’t you want me to tell you about my personal life? This is personal” Y/N crossed her arms, “Eric proposed to me”

“Okay, you are serious” I said to myself, “What did you say?” I turned my face to her, a pleading look on my face. At that moment it was impossible to read her expression and the silence was killing me, “Did you accept, Y/N?”

“Yes”

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱 ❤ 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗹𝘆 𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝘀𝗸! 𝗶 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ revised version: 09.25.2021