Genre: Drama - Tumblr Posts

01. the linchpin | reliability • kth

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pairing: taehyung x reader word count: 1.900 genre: drama, light angst rating: pg-13 warnings: cursing au: ceo/office trope: enemies to friends to lovers tags: ceo!taehyung, office!au, best friend!yoongi, unresolved emotional tension, mutual pining, slow burn crosspost: ao3

summary: a predictable mistake in buying shares becomes the perfect opportunity for taehyung to show everybody in the company no one is above his rules. what he didn’t know was that his plan would backfire making him question what the real meaning of trust is

A/N: this story began as a drabble bc i love dramatic scenes, whether in movies, television or books. confrontation is always one of my favorite things about them so i decided to try to write one for the first time ever. clearly i still have a lot to learn but i hope you like it!

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Another meeting, another group of incompetent people that I can't believe I hired. Sitting at the end of a long wood table, I scrolled through my phone reading a few emails while all the shareholders took their positions. It was absurd that I had to call a meeting on Friday night because of a predictable and, quite frankly, stupid mistake but here we were.

“Mr. Kim, we're ready” my secretary said discreetly as she handed me a folder filled with documents.

“Thank you” I replied as I got up from the chair and started spreading the papers on the table in front of me.

“Good evening! First, I would like to thank you all for coming on such short notice. The reason for this emergency meeting is to talk about the purchase of a few Min Industries shares” I paused and gazed into the eyes of everyone present. Some of them were curious, tired, others frightened and one in particular very angry.

“I believe all of you realized that ever since it happened our company has started to fall into devaluation, thanks to someone’s stupid and hasty decision” I continued while looking at the documents before me. “I don't want an explanation about what happened or why it happened, just how we are going to solve it” I turned and faced my main suspect, “Today”

“Mr. Kim, if I may, I think I speak for everyone here when I say that there is nothing legally wrong with the purchase” said Lee Sung, one of our oldest and most efficient lawyers. Still, it was a matter of principle for me and everyone knew that.

“I understand, Mr. Lee, but this is not what I'm worried about” I began calmly walking around the table while elaborating my thoughts, “You see... although Min Industries doesn’t compete directly with us they have affiliates who do. Therefore…”

“Therefore it’s smart to buy the shares precisely because it gives us more control over the affiliates” said Y/N, interrupting me.

I couldn't help the smirking that escaped my lips. Y/N took the bait and it was all I needed. From the beginning, I knew she was the one leading the expansion project and everything was going well until she put my credibility with Min Yoon Gi in check.

Yoon Gi and I are old friends, practically brothers, but our families have a particular rivalry that has lasted for almost 50 years. It is nothing that explicit or dramatic. An outsider wouldn't see the animosity, for example. I see it as a truce, however, it's still a delicate matter for our parents and grandparents. When we both took over the businesses, we agreed that we would not repeat their mistakes and promised to interfere as little as possible in each other's company. If it was strictly necessary, we would have to talk before any steps were taken. That was the deal and that is why I was furious at Y/N's audacity to make a decision like this one. She was aware of our family's situation even if not exactly about what I had promised my friend.

“Are you serious, miss Y/LN?”

“Why would I be kidding?” she replied looking confused, twisting the pen between her fingers like she was bored.

“I have no idea, but to call that a smart decision, one that immediately impacts my company's profit, not to mention my personal reputation, seems like a joke. And a bad one to say the least” I said, staring at her intensely as I approached her chair.

The atmosphere got heavy and I couldn't care less. I was right and everyone knew it. Y/N took a risk, as she is paid to do, but the risk was not worth it and she needed to take responsibility for it. If it was anyone else I would have already fired without even calling a meeting. Luckily, she's a key part of the company and one of the shareholders as well so I decided to scold her in front of others to send a subtle warning that nothing goes unnoticed by me and that measures will always be taken, regardless of the level of the hierarchy. This is my way to send a warning because I don't do threats.

Y/N gulped and shifted in her chair, visibly uncomfortable with my proximity.

“So I'm going to ask you again, miss Y/N: are you serious?” I crossed my arms and tilted my head to the side, watching her try very hard not to lose her composure. I had known Y/N for a long time and she always managed to be as cold as me, yet on occasions where her professionalism was questioned her replies used to be impulsive.

“Mr. Kim, I'll be frank” she started, standing up and walking towards the pulpit next to the projection screen. “It was indeed a risk on my part to put Vante Enterprises ahead of such a high-profile acquisition and, for the embarrassment caused, I sincerely apologize”

“Why do I feel like there's a 'but' coming?” I asked, sitting on the chair that she left vacant.

“But"

“See?” I turned to Seo Nu sitting on my left. He laughed politely because I laughed first. Deep down he didn't think it was funny and just wanted to suck up to me. Clever.

“But I still believe that in the long run, we’ll reap great results… excellent results, in fact! Here's a chart” Y/N pointed at the screen in front of us and began to confidently defend her decision, clearly and calmly, completely different from the Y/N of a minute ago who I thought would lose her temper.

* * * * * * *

The meeting room broke out in applause as soon as Y/N finished presenting a chain of detailed information regarding the shares, and although I was surprised by the level of research she prepared, I was unable to hide my dissatisfaction as CEO by confirming that Y/N still didn't understand the problem.

“Could you guys excuse us?” I looked at Y/N and then at the other shareholders. Since the person responsible presented herself there was no need to keep putting on a show, right? I got up, buttoned my jacket, and returned to my original spot on the table to organize the papers I had left lying there.

While arranging them all in a pile, the room emptied and Y/N approached.

“You love to exaggerate things, don't you?” she snarled looking me up and down.

“You love to ignore the rules and interfere with what doesn't concern you, don't you?” I fired back mimicking her attitude.

Y/N stopped for a moment and studied my expression. For a split second, I could feel a question in the air as if she wanted to know if that's what I actually thought of her — a nosy and unprofessional person who ignored her superiors on purpose. I didn’t. She looked hurt. Still, her voice gave no indication that my response had affected her.

“I love my work! It's great and you pay me well” she said, taking the papers from my hand. “Oh, what do we have here?”

“Don't be childish, give me the papers Y/N” I motioned my hands and closed my eyes feeling exhausted.

“What are these projections? How come I have never seen them before?” Y/N's voice came out louder than before depicting a mixture of shock and disbelief. “There is no actual proof that these companies are connected, it doesn't make sense” she walked back to the pulpit, eyes glued to the documents to compare the numbers and references with the slides she had spent hours preparing.

“Y/N give me the papers, that information is above you” I demanded in a firm tone. “Besides, my intention with today's meeting was to get you to find a solution to your own mess but even that you weren't able to”

“How can I solve it if I don't have all the information, Tae Hyung?” Y/N lowered the papers she was gripping so tightly in front of her face and I could see red, teary eyes along with the angry tone in her voice. She hadn't called me Tae Hyung since college and that felt like a blow in my stomach.

“If I had known that the companies were connected I would have thought twice before buying the shares... I…” Y/N's voice failed but she cleared her throat and continued “...this is your fault!”

“Mine?” I asked dumbfounded.

“You left me in the dark and I made an important decision without having all the information” she pushed the papers onto my chest and started pulling the projector's wires angrily, “This is not what I call trust”

“Seriously? Are we going to talk about trust? Bit ironic, don’t you think?” I started chasing her around the room while she collected her belongings and threw them into a big purse.

Y/N snorted like what I just said was absurd.

“You know very well the situation between my family and Yoon Gi's. I always made it clear that we don't do business with them and yet you went there and did it” I placed my hand on top of her purse, preventing her from continuing what she was doing. “Where is my trust in you now?” I questioned her almost in a pleading tone.

Y/N pulled the purse off the table in one swift motion and I almost lost my balance.

“You know what? You're right. I was wrong” she said, looking defeated. “I shouldn't have shown interest in shares that involved Yoon Gi's company, but you definitely shouldn't have hidden these documents from me either” she continued taking a few steps back, slowly moving away from me. “And that's where you fucked up. You're still obsessed with secrets and rules, keeping everyone who tries to help you away"

“Wait a minute” I interjected. This was unfair, it was not like that.

“I'm not done talking” she gazed at me very seriously and I had no choice but to stop and listen. “I know that we have differing opinions on many things and I have teased you too much in the past 10 years with my analysis and requirements, but I never... I say never... would do anything that would harm the company”

“I know” I whispered, feeling kind of dumb for blurting it all out like that.

“It doesn't look like it” she placed the purse on her shoulder. “For me, you're trying to find a reason to get me out of here”

My jaw dropped in shock. Y/N had no idea how much I valued her work, and at this very moment, I didn't know what to say first. An apology? An explanation? A plea? I could have said anything, but I didn't. Not even a fucking sound. My mouth remained open as my thoughts flew through my mind at a frightening speed, making it look like I was confirming her impression.

“I’m gonna save you the trouble. I quit”

Y/N gave me what looked like a small bow or maybe a quick nod as if to excuse herself and then left the room without another word, leaving me leaning against the table without understanding what had just happened, finding myself, for the first time in a long time, completely alone.

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𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱 ❤ 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗹𝘆 𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝘀𝗸! 𝗶 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ revised version: 09.25.2021

02. family matters | reliability • kth

previous | index | next

pairing: taehyung x reader word count: 2.155 genre: drama, light angst rating: pg-13 warnings: none au: ceo/office trope: enemies to friends to lovers tags: ceo!taehyung, office!au, best friend!yoongi, unresolved emotional tension, mutual pining, slow burn crosspost: ao3

summary: let’s go back a few years to see how tae and Y/N’s relationship started and also get a glimpse into the kim family

A/N: it was important for me to start the series with a flasback so that the reader would be familiar with the kim family dynamics and the tension with Y/N right off the bat

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10 years before

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“There has to be someone else” I said, staring at the Seoul skyline in front of me as I pondered all the possibilities with hands in my pockets. I'm taking over the family business and the only thing that scares me is making a mistake when hiring people. Well, my dad scares me, and getting a complaint call from him questioning how I managed to ruin Vante Enterprises in less than 6 months of his long-awaited retirement is not in my plans.

“Why?” asked the woman sitting on the large and comfortable couch behind me. Her thin face and dark hair complemented her porcelain skin very well and she was, at all times, the most beautiful person in any room.

“She’s inadequate” I replied, making her roll her eyes.

“Nonsense, Tae Hyung. Y/N graduated at the top of her class, in front of you much less, and did an MBA abroad” the woman said nonchalantly while taking a sip of her tea.

“I meant in regards to the company's culture” I sat down next to her, leaning sideways on the back of the couch and resting my head on my hand.

“Oh right” she set the cup down on the coffee table, “I forgot that you Kims only hire who you can control”

“Mom!”

“Honey, this is your opportunity to differentiate yourself from your father” she continued, “Having someone you know in a position like this is important in the long run”

At least in one thing my mom and I could agree on: I would, without a doubt, run the company in a new way. I had already started by choosing people who were suitable for the positions and not because I knew them or my family had some kind of connection with theirs. If, by chance, these two factors intersected, great, otherwise, the best resume wins.

“Known is not the same as reliable” I observed.

Still not satisfied with my answer, my mom got philosophical. “Trust comes with time” she started in a tone as if she wanted to pass for a spiritual being of great wisdom, but I knew she was just trying to be a good mom despite not knowing the exact details of what the family business required.

“I still have six more resumes appointed by someone I know” I leaned over to the coffee table and picked up the papers. “Two of them are former classmates too. How about that?” I waved them back and forth.

“If I remember correctly, neither of them made you stutter for the first time in an academic debate” my mom made a pose like she was thinking, crossing her arms and bringing one hand to her chin. How dramatic... and a liar. I didn't stutter.

“Yup, I think it's time for you to go” I exhaled, slapping my hands on my thighs and standing up. “Thank you very much for coming and giving your input on a subject I did not ask for” I continued in an amusing tone, but low-key serious, taking her by the hand and guiding her towards the door.

“Tae Hyung, you know that Y/N is the right choice” she moved the bag handle over her shoulder. “Be smart” and caressed my face.

“Okay” I sighed, “I love you” and kissed her forehead.

“I love you too” she smirked and left.

I went back to the couch and grabbed the resumes intending to read them one more time to be absolutely sure that I had not missed any relevant information. Very conveniently the first one was Y/N’s.

“She did it on purpose” I thought out loud when I realized my mom had deliberately put it there so I couldn't ignore it. 

Very well then, I started reading Y/N’s resume with legitimate attention, trying to ignore the name and photo at the top. I needed to be objective and impartial, a lot was at stake, but to be completely honest, at first, it was difficult because she has some striking physical features, which most men would find attractive but that was not my case. And even if it was, her personality overshadowed everything else to the point of making me lose any interest. After my common sense settled in, I continued reading, paying close attention to her previous work experiences.

“Hmm, this is interesting” I mumbled to myself.

Unlike the other candidates, Y/N had interned at one of the largest financial institutions in the country during college - something I had no idea, by the way, but not that we were friends back then, of course, because why would she tell me something like that? I really had no way of knowing - and I'm looking for people with experience in acquisitions. Convenient coincidence, I like it.

Moving on, I analyzed two letters of recommendation along with her resume and I must agree that on paper she is the right person. Damn it, I hate it when my mom is right! Still, the matter of company culture is real and I think that a person like her wouldn’t do well here. She is opinionated, impulsive, and hates being told ‘no’. At the same time, she was praised for the exact opposite in the letters, and that made me curious. An interview wouldn't hurt, would it?

I got up, went over to my desk, and pressed the button that put me in direct contact with the secretary.

“Yes, Mr. Kim?” Eun Ae answered promptly.

“I need to schedule some interviews next week” I said while fiddling through the resumes and selecting three, “I’ll email you the information”

“Yes, sir”

“Ah, Mrs. Gwa?” I almost forgot. It was better to hide my identity, otherwise, they’ll try sucking up to me thinking it would affect my final decision. And by 'they' I mean two of the three people because Y/N most likely wouldn't even accept the invitation if she knew that I was in charge of the company. “When contacting the candidates, I ask you not to divulge that I'll be the one conducting the interview”

“Okay” she wrote down and I could hear the sound of her keyboard. “Anything else?”

“No, that's all. Thank you”

Between today and the day of the interview, I had to prepare myself for the different reactions I might receive. My position as CEO has not yet been announced in the media and only shareholders know that a new person will take over at the end of the year. They suspect it will be my older brother, or rather, they expect it to be him but to the general dismay it will be me.

Ye Jun is a lawyer and has been involved in the family business since he started reading. However, two years ago in the middle of Christmas dinner, he had a breakdown when my uncles pressured him about some specific problem happening inside the company and he totally lost his composure (with a little help from alcohol, of course). He made a scene screaming that he didn't want that life anymore or even see any of those people again. Then he went on about how much he hated their meetings and the way everyone was fake in front of my father and in private would even criticize the color of the tie he wore. From the corner of the living room, I watched the whole thing go down without a hint of shock on my face because I always knew that moment would come. Ye Jun wasn’t born to be a leader.

The next day, he and my father were locked in the office for almost three hours. When the heavy wooden doors finally opened, dad left looking tired and announced without looking me in the eye, “Now it's up to you, Tae Hyung.” Confused by that statement, I went in and saw Ye Jun with his head between his hands, sitting in the armchair by the window.

“What the hell did you say to him?” I pointed my thumb back at the door.

“That I’m not doing it” Ye Jun replied, lifting his head and interlacing his hands. His posture seemed relaxed as if he were finally comfortable, although there was an uncertainty in his eyes that made me wonder if he was having second thoughts about the decision.

“Do what?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

Ye Jun looked at me and smiled.

“Give in to the pressure, complying with expectations, sacrificing my profession, not being myself”

He paused, standing up and holding me by the shoulders.

“I also told him that the best person for the position is you” Ye Jun's voice was full of affection, “It has to be you, Tae” he patted me on the side and I looked at him stunned.

“Dad will never put me ahead of Vante, Jun” I blurted as soon as I managed to assimilate what my brother had just said.

“Didn't you hear what he said to you as soon as he left?” Ye Jun looked confused for a second “Now it's up to you. You are the next CEO” he said in a firm tone.

I suddenly got embarrassed because it felt like I had just stolen my brother's job. “It doesn't make sense, we have opposite views on how to run a business” I looked away and stared at the floor.

“True, you do, but lately he started to realize that the world is changing and that Vante could be much better off if it started to adapt” Ye Jun stated by squeezing my shoulders and bringing me back to reality. “Of course, there is still a certain traditionalism in our field, but every now and then dad finds himself negotiating with foreign companies where the mindset is what sets them apart and he feels conflicted. Do you continue as you are and please national companies or do you adapt and gain visibility abroad? He wants Vante to remain as the leader in the segment but he is stuck in his own beliefs and he knows it”

After this conversation with my brother, things changed and I started to accept more confidently the responsibility that was placed upon me. However, regardless of how I felt, the criticism would come in full force. Many powerful people will question my father's decision and I wouldn’t be surprised if boycotts took place in the first year.

It was with all these possibilities in mind that my first act as CEO was to completely renew the staff, starting with the most strategic positions and closest to me. One of them was the operations manager, who would act as my right hand, valuing Vante's financial success and setting in motion the vision, strategic plan, and goals I set.

In theory, Y/N was perfect for it, but I wouldn't make it easier just because we knew each other. She was very smart and I was sure that the moment she walked through that door and came face to face with me, her demeanor would change and we would start playing a game of chess.

******

I dedicated the entire day Wednesday for the interviews and the first two had gone very well, exactly as I had planned and prepared — what a relief! It was almost 4:30 pm, Y/N’s appointment was the last one and I was extremely curious about her reaction, I don't know why. Maybe I wanted to prove something to her, like ‘Ha, look who’s running things now’ or ‘I bet you never thought you would see me sitting here'.

Y/N was always better at everything and I couldn't stand it. I had an obligation to excel at something. She was not perfect as everyone liked to think and, frankly, to worship. But, even if it bothered me to admit, we had things in common and she was qualified.

“Yes?” I said coming out of my reverie when the phone rang.

“Ms. Y/LN is here, Mr. Kim” Eun Ae announced.

“Let her in”

I heard a light knock on the door, followed by its closing and a few clicks of high heels on the floor coming towards me. I looked up and Y/N was dressed in a black midi-length v-neck dress with a stand-up collar that made her look formal but not old. Matter of fact, if I was actually paying attention I could even say that this specific fabric was made for her body type and hugged her in all the right places, but I wasn’t.

“Hello, Y/N” I said getting up from my chair, “Long time no see!” I smiled and took off my glasses, placing them in front of me next to the tablet I had been holding moments before.

Y/N shook her head holding a laugh as she bit her lip and stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world: “You’re so predictable. I’m amused”

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𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱 ❤ 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗹𝘆 𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝘀𝗸! 𝗶 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ revised version: 09.25.2021

reliability • kth

pairing: taehyung x reader 

chapters: 10

genre: drama, light angst 

rating: pg-13 | p-15 (final chapter)

warnings: cursing, sensual innuendos (and later on) kissing, implied mental health struggles, brief description of panic attack

au: ceo/office 

trope: enemies to friends to lovers 

tags: ceo!taehyung, office!au, best friend!yoongi, unresolved emotional tension, mutual pining, slow burn 

crosspost: ao3

summary: a predictable mistake in buying shares becomes the perfect opportunity for taehyung to show everybody in the company no one is above his rules. what he didn’t know was that his plan would backfire making him question what the real meaning of trust is

☆ disclaimer: this is a work of fiction taken from the depths of my imagination, which takes place in an alternative universe (AU) and has no real connection with people, places or organizations. everything you will read is fictional and created by me. i do not authorize its reproduction, translation or publication, partially or entirely © mrsparknamjoon

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CHAPTER 01: the linchpin ↳ word count: 1.900 ↳ release date: december 11th, 2020 ↳ revised in: september 25th, 2021

CHAPTER 02: family matters ↳ word count: 2.155 ↳ release date: december 20th, 2020 ↳ revised in: september 25th, 2021

CHAPTER 03: a little honesty never killed anyone ↳ word count: 1.671 ↳ release date: january 7th, 2021 ↳ revised in: september 25th, 2021

CHAPTER 04: take it back ↳ word count: 2.750 ↳ release date: january 14th, 2021 ↳ revised in: september 25th, 2021

CHAPTER 05: once upon a time ↳ word count: 3.184 ↳ release date: january 17th, 2021 ↳ revised in: september 25th, 2021

CHAPTER 06: too blind to see ↳ word count: 2.258 ↳ release date: february 8th, 2021 ↳ revised in: september 25th, 2021

CHAPTER 07: a double-edged sword ↳ word count: 4.738 ↳ release date: february 22nd, 2021 ↳ revised in: september 25th, 2021

CHAPTER 08: hanging by a thread ↳ word count: 2.909 ↳ release date: march 22nd, 2021 ↳ revised in: september 25th, 2021

CHAPTER 09: careful decision, heartful declaration ↳ word count: 4.197 ↳ release date: march 28th, 2021 ↳ revised in: september 25th, 2021

CHAPTER 10: what do you see? ↳ word count: 5.662 ↳ release date: january 25th, 2022

03. a little honesty never killed anyone | reliability • kth

previous | index | next

pairing: taehyung x reader word count: 1.671 genre: drama, light angst rating: pg-13 warnings: cursing, sensual innuendos au: ceo/office trope: enemies to friends to lovers tags: ceo!taehyung, office!au, best friend!yoongi, unresolved emotional tension, mutual pining, slow burn crosspost: ao3

summary: continuing exactly where we left off in the last chapter, now it's time to check out how Y/N's interview went

A/N: i love writing this series! i really do. i have so much fun coming up the dialogues and even though sometimes is hard to set the scene how i want to, i’m proud of how it came out. hope you like it <3

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10 years before

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“Excuse me?” I blinked twice. Did I get it right? Did she just say what I thought she said? Who answers a polite greeting like that? Doesn't make sense. I said ‘Hello, long time no see’ and she immediately mocks me for it? Where are we? 5th grade?

“You are very predictable” she reiterated more slowly as if she were talking to someone old and deaf. Y/N was definitely fucking with me and I decided to indulge in her little game just to see how far it would actually go.

“Really?” I mocked, coming around the table, walking towards her, and pointing to the couch.

“Come on, did you really think I wouldn't know that you were going to do the interview?” Y/N sat down and stared at me.

“Why would I withhold this information?” I sat next to her and crossed my legs, resting my hands on my lap.

“For many reasons” she said.

Y/N looked so sure of herself. Scratch that, so full of herself. Since college, she has always had this ‘know it all’ attitude and was absurdly irritating. Some might even call it tenacity, but I wasn't so sure because from the tone she used and even her body language, in my opinion, everything screamed: insecurity. That's right, she is insecure. There is no other reason why a person would want to reassert herself all the time by claiming to have every answer in the universe other than trying to prove something.

However, for recreational purposes, I will continue to comply.

“Such as?”

Y/N leaned forward a little, speaking in a lower tone as if she were about to tell me a secret, “The main one?”

“Sure” I imitated her gesture, getting close to her face but not enough that neither of us would be uncomfortable with.

“I wouldn't come” she returned to the previous position, leaving me leaning in the middle of the couch.

“But you did” I raised my eyebrows.

“I said you were the predictable one, not me” Y/N smiled and paused so I could absorb the words, “This is a great opportunity. It would be stupid to refuse for the simple fact that we don't like each other”

“Ouch!" I leaned back with both hands on my chest, receiving the metaphorical shot, “Blunt and straight to the point”

I honestly don't know if this hurts my pride a little bit or if it delights me.

“It's the way I like to do things” Y/N shrugged. “So, shall we start?”

“Who is conducting the interview? Me or you?”

Y/N laughed looking down. I couldn't decipher if she was embarrassed that I called her out or if it was just her way of laughing. The times she technically laughed at me back in college were in a sarcastic tone and now her intention seemed different. Maybe I'm funny, I don't know.

“Do you want anything to drink?” I offered while filling a glass of water with the jar my secretary had brought minutes before.

“No, thank you” she replied, watching me drink.

“We haven't seen each other for a long time. How are you, Y/N?” I asked, putting the glass back on the coffee table and taking my folder with a notepad, her resume, and some other papers.

“Good” she said. For a brief moment, I felt some sort of hesitation as if maybe it was a lie, “I just got back from England, I think you saw the MBA on my resume” Y/N pointed at the folder in my hands.

“Impressive. Congratulations” I replied without taking my eyes off the paper in a neutral and completely impassive tone. If that was her attempt to impress me, it didn't work.

“Now I'm looking for a place where I can practice everything I learned” Y/N continued.

“And you think Vante is that place?” I closed the folder and gave her a confused look.

“It could be” she mused.

“I don't get it. I thought this was a ‘big opportunity’ for you” I argued, placing the folder on the coffee table and crossing my arms. This woman confuses me sometimes. She says one thing but does the complete opposite, then she's utterly mysterious, and other times she goes straight to the point.

“And it is. Vante is one of the largest companies in the country and being able to be part of its history would certainly be a milestone in my career” Y/N looked at me sternly.

“But?” I asked.

“My decision depends on confirming who, in fact, is in control of it” she replied.

Who does Y/N think she is? That's hilarious.

“Decision? There's not even a proposal..." I scoffed.

Y/N paused for a moment relishing my words. She was in control of the conversation and knew it. Unconsciously, me too, but I didn't want to admit it. After a few seconds she simply stated, “Yes, there is, Mr. Kim, because I am the best person for the job”

She wants to play? No problem. I love games.

“Let's say the person in control is me” I conceded.

“Then I would accept”

“Really?”

“You are intelligent, obstinate, and responsible, as well as result-oriented but in a bold way” Y/N replied with complete honesty and, again, bluntly. It was impossible to predict what was going in her head, let alone anticipate any kind of response. In chess, every move has a purpose and I was trying to find out hers.

“Bold?” I disputed with humor this adjective that sounded very strange and did not match me at all.

“Yes, you are not scared to take a risk” she quickly answered as she leaned over to the coffee table and seized a glass of water for herself, “I saw you go against all odds several times, convinced that things would work out” she paused to take a sip before continuing, “and they did” she raised her glass as if she was to make a toast.

Okay, well, perhaps it does match me.

“And here I was thinking you didn't like me” I stated, unable to contain the big smile forming on my face. The ego massage masked some of my embarrassment.

“You and I have more in common than you think” she noted “In my opinion, working alongside someone so similar, yet completely different, is stimulating and only adds to the business. Don't you agree?” she tilted her head with lips pursed in a single line.

Y/N had a good point. Right then I saw an opportunity to take advantage of her initiative because one thing was certain in life: if you wait for somebody else to make a decision for you, they will, and you won't like the result.

“Maybe you’re not the person I remembered” I noted in a tone that I hoped was friendly enough but at the same time didn’t over-implicate my curiosity (which at this point was about to explode) and my desire to win the psychological game of chess (which also increased exponentially by the minutes of this interview).

“Probably. A lot has happened in three years” she crossed her legs and held her knees with her hands clasped.

Damn Y/N. She knew what to say and how to speak to test my limits. What 'things' happened? And was it really time to shift positions? Really? With that dress? Rude.

Lost in my thoughts I ended up being quiet long enough for her to just get up and say, “I'm gonna get going"

“But the interview is not over” I said confused, looking at my watch and then up, finding Y/N's sarcastic smile, the one I was deeply familiar with.

“It is” she replied, reaching down and grabbing her purse from the couch “You already saw that I changed enough to be part of your team but not so much that you will doubt my choices. Like it or not, deep down you trust my character and judgment” she looked me up and down and continued “In fact, I think you had already made your decision before I even walked into your office. You needed to see for yourself that I want this job as much as you want to hire me”

While what Y/N had just said was pretty unbelievable, I expected no less from her. Even though our lives have changed in the last few years, her essence has remained the same and I was happy to have scheduled this interview. She’s still opinionated but in a calmer and more analytical way, just as her letters of recommendation suggested.

“Isn't it tiring having this amount of self-esteem?” I teased.

“Not when you're right” Y/N shrugged.

“Guess some things don't change after all” I grinned, standing up and pointing to the door.

Y/N started walking towards it and even though I couldn't see her face when she replied laughing “I bet this is one of the things you hate about me”, I was sure it was a genuine laugh. Oh yes, I am funny.

“We are not close enough for this to be true” I leaned against the doorframe, “And 'hate' is a very strong word” I shook my head.

“I suppose so” she looked up, pondering my statement for a couple of seconds. “We'll find out in the next few months” Y/N shifted her gaze to me in an intense way before heading towards the office lobby to take the elevator.

Just like in chess, in life, we can't jump to conclusions, and if I were to have Y/N by my side as operations manager, I would have to let go of the impression I have of her. 

Replaying our conversation in my head as I went back into my office and closed the door, I leaned against it for a brief moment not knowing what exactly had changed in our dynamics but feeling for the first time in a long time that I was no longer alone.

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𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱 ❤ 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗹𝘆 𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝘀𝗸! 𝗶 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ revised version: 09.25.2021

04. take it back | reliability • kth

previous | index | next

pairing: taehyung x reader word count: 2.750 genre: drama, light angst rating: pg-13 warnings: cursing au: ceo/office trope: enemies to friends to lovers tags: ceo!taehyung, office!au, best friend!yoongi, unresolved emotional tension, mutual pining, slow burn crosspost: ao3

summary: after Y/N’s resignation, taehyung goes after her to apologize

A/N: this chapter was a little difficult to write, for three reasons: i wanted to accurately describe the emotional state of the two characters, even though this story is from tae's pov; leave some clues for future chapters and also narrate a movement in a verbal fight as believably as possible.

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Y/N's sudden resignation left me in complete shock, but something inside told me to stand up and go find her because I couldn't let that happen, she had to stay. She just had to. If I needed to beg, then so be it, but she couldn't leave Vante. Leave me.

In the lobby, practically out of breath, I stand before the elevators noticing that of the four, two are on different floors, one is on the ground floor and the other going up. I pressed all the buttons violently so that one of them would come to me and take me to Y/N, but amid my distress, I realized something:

She uses the stairs when she is angry.

This one time, after a meeting with a possible foreign client, Y/N disappeared. Nobody could tell me where she was or what direction she went. It was as if she had vanished like smoke. Hours later, visibly calmer, she entered her office where I was sitting with my feet up on the table reading some reports that she had left laying around.

“Mr. Kim, please show some manners and get your filthy feet off my table” Y/N demanded with humor but a serious face.

“There you are” I smiled, bringing my legs down.

“Do you need something?” she asked, coming towards me and gesturing for me to get up from her chair.

“Not really” I put down the papers I was reading and stood between her desk and a bookcase. “I just wanted to know if everything was okay and where were you”

“I needed to clear my head” Y/N put on her reading glasses and started organizing the papers I had messed up. 

I just nodded, respecting her space. After a few seconds of silence, I turned to the door to leave.

“When I'm nervous and need to think, I use the stairs instead of the elevator” she blurted out. As soon as I turned my head, I realized that Y/N was biting the inside of her cheek as if she had regretted sharing such information.

“No problem” I assured her with a nod.

It was the only thing I could do. She put up with four intense hours of the potential client questioning every little detail she presented, and yet she was able to keep it together and reply with civility. I recall seeing the physical effort she made to not lose her composure, since closing a contract with him would mean a lot to Vante, and well, the girl liked to win by any means necessary. If it was me, I might have missed the opportunity due to my temper, but that is precisely why I have her around — so she can run things the right way. Hiding out on the stairs for a while didn’t seem like a big deal to me.

“Stairs!” I said to myself, happy to have remembered that little detail just in time.

Running towards the emergency exit, I pushed the crash bar with full force. I started coming down the stairs as fast as possible but still couldn't see Y/N so I decided to lean over the main handrail, looking down into the gap that allowed me to see the other floors.

“Y/N!” I shouted, spotting her arm and purse as she walked through what appeared to be two levels below where I was. She immediately stops and leans to the right, looking up until our eyes meet.

“Please wait” I urged, holding out my hand in a 'stop' sign.

Y/N, however, didn’t give a shit and kept walking, paying me no attention whatsoever. I had no choice but to jump several steps at a time to get there as quickly as possible and stop right next to her.

“Listen to me” I panted, hands on my knees.

Y/N stopped for a moment watching my desperation, rolled her eyes, and started walking again.

“I need to tell you something” I said, taking two steps forward and putting my left hand on the rail, blocking her way.

“Move” Y/N pushed my arm, finishing the steps and walking through the space between flights.

“You are acknowledging my presence, great, it’s a start” I observed while she kept ignoring me. “Please, can you stop for just a second?”

“No”

“Then I’ll keep following you” I disclosed right behind her, arms crossed.

“Good luck, you're going to roll down the stairs” Y/N shrugged.

This was a test of patience. A big one.

“Y/N!” I pulled her by the arm.

“What?” she shouted. “What more do you want?”. Her eyes looked deeply into mine and I could see a clear mix of exhaustion and anguish. “What else do you want to talk to me about? Or should I say humiliate?”

“Take it back” I unintentionally whispered, feeling my throat dry and my heart pounding.

“What?”

“Your decision” I repeated more confidently, “Take it back. Please don't quit”

With that, I let go of her arm but not before my fingertips trace her skin gently on the way down.

Y/N looked at me astonished, “My God, you are fucking unbelievable” and went back down the steps, only now stomping her feet like a child. 

“I'm serious, Y/N, you can't quit, you're very important to the company!”

“Oh really?” she replied sarcastically, “That was not what it looked like five minutes ago. Do you think I'm stupid?” she looked back at me with her brows furrowed.

“No!” I quickly interjected. 

In all honesty, I was starting to get desperate. No words seemed right or good enough for her. I had obviously dug a hole for myself with this idea of scolding her in front of everyone and it was getting deeper by the second. Fuck, I messed up real bad! 

“Total opposite! You are extremely intelligent and competent, and..” I continued before she interrupted.

“Well, you certainly went out of your way to say that I was one for buying the shares” Y/N stopped abruptly and I almost ran into her back.

“Okay, that was stupid, you have to admit” I shrugged, making Y/N even angrier, “but… you’re smart and you did it with good intentions for the company” I added, giving a shy smile.

“Let me see if I got it right,” she crossed her arms and looked up, “you agree that I had good intentions and still decided to call a meeting with the sole purpose of humiliating me in front of everyone?” Y/N's gaze had dropped and now hovered over me making me swallow hard.

“Uh… yeah” I admitted, nodding.

“That’s ridiculous, even for you” she sharply exhaled and laughed at the same time but it contained no humor. “I thought we had a decent enough relationship for you to show me a little more respect” she fumed, pointing her finger at me.

“The mistake was serious, Y/N, there are things about Vante and Min that you don't know about” I pointed right back, taking a step forward and raising my voice a little. 

I was starting to get annoyed at how oblivious she was. Okay, I was an asshole and I didn't deal with the situation in the best way, but still, what she did was wrong. “Like I said, the purchase interferes with the agreement I have with Yoon Gi and I will need to speak to him tonight”

And that's how I got Y/N to finally shut up. She was visibly embarrassed. Now was my chance to explain, since she was forced to pay attention.

“And yes, I wanted to send a message to all shareholders about not respecting my rules. You know that my relationship with them has gotten worse in the last year and they are pressuring me to step down as CEO. I had to do something!” I ran my hands through my hair feeling exasperated.

“There” Y/N pointed her finger at me again, “Right there!”

I think the confusion on my face was evident because she soon explained herself.

“This is the reason why I quitted. You used me like I was the fucking secretary - no offense to Eun Ae - just to prove a point and look powerful in front of those assholes. You didn't have to do that”

“I know,” I agreed, rubbing my eyes, “now I realized that, I'm sorry Y/N”

Still with my eyes closed and taking a deep breath, I hear Y/N usher down the stairs.

“How was I supposed to know you would react like that?” I insisted, “Huh?”

“Uh, I don't know, common sense?” she waved her hands in the air, keeping her eyes forward.

“I thought you would be angry, very angry or that you would curse at me, scream, but not resign” I confessed approaching her, “You love this place”

Y/N stopped at the sound of my last statement taking a beat before turning around. Her back got tense. A couple of seconds after recovering from the shock, she hissed nervously “I don't… love” and looked me in the eye, pausing subtly before complementing “this place"

The way Y/N said that hurt me because I felt that she was simultaneously hiding something and rejecting me. I couldn't help my own shock at those words. We have worked so hard in the last few years, we achieved much more than everyone expected. She and I were the perfect team. How come she didn't like the company? Was she pretending all this time? There was no one else who worked as hard as Y/N. What is going on?

If someone had asked me 24 hours ago if she was happy here, I would have said without a doubt that she was, because everything pointed that way. How she planned out the strategies, how she talked to clients, the bulletproof arguments she used with shareholders, the silent laugh when I made a joke during those long nights where we did overtime, the contained giggles we exchanged when we closed a new deal and so many other quirks that only I knew, that only I saw.

Precisely because I knew so much, I was not ready to let go.

“But I do and I need to protect it. Please don't quit, I want you here” I begged.

Y/N’s eyes showed an inner struggle between believing what I was saying and any other feelings she had for Vante or even for me. Did she hate me? Was working here really that bad? It was so difficult to figure out. I thought I knew her well enough, but apparently, I don’t. I had to make myself clear then.

“I need you here” I said, taking her hand.

She immediately looked down as if our hands were on fire.

“Don't lie” Y/N pulled hers back and stepped away from me, “You don't need me here, we both know it” she said nonchalantly looking to the side as she straightened her clothes — which didn't even have wrinkles, by the way, I don't know who she was trying to deceive here.

“Can you, for once in your life, stop assuming what I feel or don't feel?” I shouted, losing my temper and making Y/N's arch her brows in surprise. “Most of the shareholders are fucking morons. When I started to deny their little perks and demands they ended up doing just the bare minimum"

Y/N pondered about what I said for a few seconds as I sat down at one of the steps, loosening my tie.

“It doesn't make sense... they would be jeopardized. They are shareholders, what happens to the company affects their profits”

“They did it in a subtle way, nothing really big. Just enough to make it stressful for me” I rested my forearms on my knees. “They want me gone, which is why I can’t lose the only person I trust in there” I glanced over Y/N to reassure her that I meant it. I do trust her. More than I trust myself.

“I thought you couldn't trust me anymore because I bought the shares” she argued, focusing on the wall in front of us.

“For God's sake, Y/N, why does everything with you turns into an argument?” I stood up. “Aren't we too old to be doing this?”

“We are and that's why I can't take it anymore” she agreed, also getting up. Her voice sounded defeated and exhausted. When she looked at me and gave me a faint smile before going back down the stairs, I felt that I had lost the fight and despair washed over me.

“You have a lot on your mind, I get it, I fucked up” I took a deep breath, trying to settle myself, “Go home, sleep on it and we’ll talk tomorrow, okay?”

Y/N’s gaze had changed, now she expressed complete disgust.

“Don't follow me” she warned, marching to the emergency exit and leaving me behind once again, only with the roaring noise of the iron door echoing on the cement walls around me.

* * * *

“I need to talk to you” I announced as soon as Yoon Gi answered the phone. “Can you meet me at Timber House in an hour?”

“No 'hello'? Shit must be serious” he fretted.

It was very serious for me. First, I needed my best friend to help me make sense of what happened tonight. Second, I must tell him about the shares as soon as possible so that we can find a way to reverse the deal.

As soon as I ended the call, I exited Dongbu Expressway and headed towards the Park Hyatt Hotel where my favorite bar was. The atmosphere was great, very private. The sushi was amazing and they had three types of Hwayo, which would definitely help me tonight. Yoon Gi introduced me to this place a few years ago and we have been going there ever since.

Once I got there and started descending to the lower level, I couldn't stop thinking about what Y/N said. ‘That's why I can't take it anymore’. I'm sure being an operations manager was stressful, but she never complained before. She seemed satisfied with her position. There must be another reason for her to give up, I just can't figure out what it is. And this is not about me just being a jerk, because she had to put up with many things over the years. I just hope Yoon Gi has some wise words to get me out of this mess.

I went through the big wooden door and turned right in the long hallway that made some turns before ending up in the dark and cozy lounge with several armchairs and tables. I could recognize this smell anywhere and the soft jazz melody playing in the background, mixed with the buzz of people eating and talking, made me feel at home.

Sitting in my usual corner and with my favorite soju in hand, I scrolled through my phone trying to distract myself until Yoon Gi arrived. After a few minutes, I saw him walking towards me. This guy looked like an angel of death. Elegant and sharp as always, dark hair and in an all-black outfit. A simple tee, knee-ripped jeans, blazer, and his classic Prada Saffiano leather booties. Definitely the opposite of what is expected for a CEO.

“Hey” he greeted as he sat in front of me and immediately turned to the waiter who quickly approached, “Ardbeg. Neat”

“What’s so urgent?” Yoon Gi questioned, crossing his legs and making himself comfortable.

“I have news” I started cautiously and he narrowed his eyes, “The first one is that Vante bought some Min shares without my authorization, the second is that Y/N resigned and the third is that one and two are correlated”

I drank the rest of the soju I had in my glass in one gulp, leaving Yoon Gi with wide eyes and a lot to process. I could see the gears in his mind spinning and trying to make sense of everything. I would laugh if I wasn't so desperate. The waiter, on the other hand, had impeccable timing because he arrived with Yoon Gi’s whiskey just right when he needed it the most and I took the opportunity to order the whole bottle of soju right away, leaving the tab open. 

This was going to be a long night.

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𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱 ❤ 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗹𝘆 𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝘀𝗸! 𝗶 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ revised version: 09.25.2021

05. once upon a time | reliability • kth

previous | index | next

pairing: taehyung x reader word count: 3.184 genre: drama, light angst rating: pg-13 warnings: cursing au: ceo/office trope: enemies to friends to lovers tags: ceo!taehyung, office!au, best friend!yoongi, unresolved emotional tension, mutual pining, slow burn crosspost: ao3

summary: experience all the events so far through Y/N’s perspective

A/N: i'm so so so happy with the positive feedback on this story. thank you to every single one of you who leave a like, reblog it, and takes the time to reply to the post. pls know that i see everything! i hope you will continue to share your thoughts with me, i love reading them. my inbox is always open too, even to anons <3

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YOUR POV

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I was exhausted.

Tired of pretending.

As much as I told myself that I was fine, that things were going to happen, it was all a lie. They weren't. I waited patiently for years and whenever I thought it was finally going to happen, I was disappointed.

Tae Hyung is a difficult and complex man, and I had no idea of ​​that in college. My first impression of him did not match the first interaction, which also did not match the reality of our daily lives as classmates in an elective class we took together.

I remember thinking that he was the cutest guy I had seen wearing a gray sweatshirt. His eyes were lightly covered by his wavy black hair and his lips were a really beautiful pink shade, very kissable. However, the first time we spoke it he was the one to initiate and it was to complain about something that I asked the teacher. From that day on he sent mixed signals. There were days when he insisted on questioning anything I said or did while on others he smiled sweetly, reminding me of the first time I saw him.

The way he treated me started to get annoying and I made sure to draw the line on the possibility of even becoming friends. He didn't seem to need friends anyway. I once saw him in the pub on the outskirts of campus where students would often go, and he was a completely different person. Full of life, the center of attention and surrounded by girls too. It looked like he was really alive when he had an audience. The type of person who charms everyone with charisma, good humor, and appearance. Typical rich boy behavior. Very rich I should say. The type of rich you don't see anymore. Old money. Generations of power. It was obvious that he had no idea what it was like to work to achieve something. Everything fell at his feet when he wanted and how he wanted.

Although his indifference bothered me to some extent, I had to agree that he was a great student. He got high grades, argued his opinion like nobody else, and loved to start a controversy just to amuse the group and gain morale with the teachers. Tae Hyung was a born leader.

In senior year I was already used to his personality and developed a way to deal with it whenever we interacted (which wasn’t that often, to begin with). Equal to equal. I would be a mirror. The way he treated me, I would treat him back, simple as that.

There were days when I felt that he was letting his guard down and showing himself to be just a boy uncertain about the future, somewhat vulnerable, and I even tried to talk a little bit about but he didn't seem very interested in letting other people really get to know him. It was like he was hiding something. The walls went up in seconds and I found myself, again, amid sarcastic remarks. Humor as a defense mechanism, I get it.

Our third and final project together was actually a debate open to the public. We were on opposite sides, of course. I don't remember exactly what topic we discussed, but he was in favor and I was against it. He was visibly lost, stuttering, and I took advantage of it.

After I won the debate and the whole audience got up on their feet to applaud, I finally felt like I was good enough. Good enough to be in a renowned college, good enough for my parents to be proud of me, and good enough to secure a great job; a job where I could make a difference, get a lot of money and help my family. I felt the center of attention for the first time and honestly, nothing could compare. I even remember thinking while bowing and thanking everyone ‘Oh, so this is how Tae Hyung feels all the time’, which totally makes sense. I immediately understood why he was so incredibly oblivious to the world around him and especially to those below him.

Right after graduation, I went straight to London to get an MBA, and occasionally stalked my former college colleagues' LinkedIn to find out what they were up to, where they were working, that kind of stuff. Tae Hyung’s profile, however, hadn’t much public information available. From the photo I could see that he was still the same, the only difference was that he now wore a suit. His position within the Vante was not specified and I tried to imagine whether he actually did anything there or if he simply spent his father's money as a bon vivant.

In my first month back in Korea, I received an email from Vante Enterprises asking me about my interest in an interview for a high position, totally confidential. I thought it was kind of weird because I didn't recall sending my resume over, like ever, and I very much doubt that Tae Hyung's father, then CEO, knew who I was.

And it was a good thing that he didn't because I wasn't going to work for him.

Kim Jin-ho was a very traditional tycoon and, precisely for that reason, he led Vante in an equally archaic way. And, because they were that way, I had one foot in and one foot out about the interview. I wasn't comfortable with the way these older folks did business. Back in college, I was an intern in a similar company and I saw a lot of shady stuff. I couldn't (and wouldn't) jeopardize everything I worked so hard for just for a position there. I needed to be strategic about my future, even though I was 100% aware that having Vante Enterprises on my resume would open a lot of doors.

When I finished reading the email, I googled if Tae Hyung's family was still in charge or not. I found some articles talking about recent deals, acquisitions that went well, projections for the following year, but nothing that confirmed that Tae Hyung's father was still the CEO. That was when, on a social note inside a virtual magazine, almost near the foot of the page, I saw the phrase ‘Kim Jin-ho celebrating his 60th birthday and 2,000 deals while preparing for retirement next summer’ next to a photo of Mr. Kim cutting a cake.

I paused for a moment, reflecting on the possibility of Tae Hyung taking over after his father: it was possible but a bit strange if he did. My only connection to the company was him, so if they were after me for an interview, it was because Tae Hyung appointed me, and that left me confused because I couldn't understand exactly why he did it. He didn't even like me! He literally criticized everything I did.

Or maybe…

I was good enough.

That’s it!

Right then I had a eureka moment where I realized that all the efforts I had made so far were paying off. The universe was giving back due to my hard work. I had become an acquisition specialist and both my internship and my job in London could attest to that. These two companies were monumental in helping me to understand both domestic and international markets and trained me beyond the goals I had set during college.

I was certainly worthy and should act accordingly, entering Vante with my head held high and boosting confidence. Since the position was obviously important enough for them to keep it confidential, I would have to behave as if I already got the job.

And that's what I did.

I marched into the building feeling on edge but hoping that either Tae Hyung or Ye Jun would conduct the interview. If I came face to face with their father, I would be extremely disappointed, but I wouldn't show it, of course.

As the elevator went up I remember mentally repeating my favorite affirmations, rethinking my best academic moments, visualizing my professional goals coming true, and quietly praying that everything would work out so I could have a job in Korea near my family.

When I left for London it was very hard on my parents, and on me too, although they both rooted for me unconditionally. I got a scholarship for my MBA and they gave me all of their savings so that I could support myself in the new country until I found a job. Fortunately, it didn't take long. 6 months later I had already stopped using the savings and began paying them back.

As soon as I entered the lobby I was amazed at how grandiose it was and felt a sense of belonging. Very weird! And that was exactly what fueled me to walk into the CEO office determined to win the position.

I knocked on the door three times after the secretary authorized me to go in, opening it slowly and finding the person I most wanted to see: him. His hair was still fluffy, wavy, and probably soft. When he gave me a smile and said, ‘Hello, Y/N. Long time no see!’ I was forced to hold a laugh for two simple reasons:

1. His attitude hadn't changed at all. He continued with an air of superiority disguised in good manners.

2. He had orchestrated all of this. If he hadn’t then he would look more surprised to see me. Taehyung didn't seem surprised at all, actually.

The meeting did not last very long and I left satisfied in less than 10 minutes. I certainly made a strong impression on Tae Hyung, because the next day he called me to make things official. I started the following Monday.

From that day on I embarked on a great adventure that taught me a lot about myself and the power of resilience. Working at Vante Enterprises was everything I expected it to be and Tae Hyung was an excellent leader, I'll give him that. He allowed me a lot of freedom, not only because the position I held required it, but also because I saw that he trusted me more and more each month.

That trust did not come overnight though! I worked hard to earn it. Just as I know he worked hard to earn mine too. I can't say we became proper friends, however, we did develop an unspoken bond and mutual respect where we just had to look at each other to know what the other thought about a certain situation.

However, this bond turned out to be useless when I made the biggest mistake of my career. Yes, I am talking about the purchase of the Min Industries shares, the ones that put me in this goddamn mess in the first place.

I vaguely remember Tae Hyung telling me about the deal he had with Yoon Gi one of the nights we worked overtime at the office, but not the details. In fact, on second thought, I'm sure he never told me anything. I would have remembered!

When the purchase opportunity came up I did a very detailed research for almost 3 months and I didn't find a single link that could harm Vante. I met with different shareholders of our company, then with our lawyers and finally with the interested parties. It was an incredible opportunity and I made the decision to take a risk without communicating to Tae Hyung. I had never consulted him before, so I wouldn’t start now, right? Well, that was my thought, and what a wrong thought it was. If I could go back in time, I would.

At the emergency meeting when I heard him say that Vante was undergoing devaluation thanks to my decision, my heart stopped for a few seconds, the air escaped from my lungs and I started to freak out internally, looking for all possible mistakes that I could have committed. The louder his voice got, the more embarrassed I became and wanted to shout back explaining that I had done nothing wrong, that the purchase was legitimate and that there was no reason for devaluation. I was being humiliated for simply doing my job. The audacity of this guy!

I took a deep breath, stood up, projected my notes, explained everything in as much detail as possible, and found comfort in knowing that I had done everything right. There were no mistakes. I don't make mistakes. Well, that wasn’t true anymore I guess.

When everyone left the room and Tae Hyung and I were alone, I confronted him asking how he loves to exaggerate things. To my not-so-great surprise, he called me irresponsible. Okay, he didn't exactly use that word, but he did tell me something about not knowing how to follow rules and who doesn't follow rules is either irresponsible or stupid. I looked at him feeling a little hurt because I knew he knew me better than that — I was the complete opposite of irresponsible. Instead, I replied that I loved my job and that he paid me well for it, which is true, after all, I am very good at what I do and it gives me immense satisfaction when I manage to improve people's lives with my acquisitions, even if indirectly.

Tae Hyung got distracted for a few seconds so I took the papers he was holding. As soon as I quickly scanned the content, my argument fell apart and all the confidence I had in my work immediately left my body. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Lots of confidential information, things I should know but didn't know thanks to Tae Hyung who chose to keep it from me. Was he becoming like his father? What else had he agreed with Min Industries? And what about other companies? Was he making decisions behind my back?

I suddenly felt sick because all of this could have been avoided if he had opened up to me, explained the details. I wouldn't tell anyone whatever his secret about Yoon Gi is, it was probably not even that relevant. If I had seen these projections before, I would not have bought the shares, obviously. I could only think: you’re such a dumbass, Y/N!

It was exactly during my desperate fit while gathering all my belongings scattered around the meeting room, feeling desperate to leave, that Tae Hyung said one of the most painful things I have ever heard coming out of his mouth, ‘Where is my trust in you now?’

I would rather have been stabbed, it would actually hurt less.

Maybe it was the way he said it or the fact that it was the last straw in a hopeless scenario, but with that question, I felt free. I wasn't going to pretend anymore. I was so tired of playing his games, trying to understand his obsession with rules, sympathizing with his family problems, giving my blood, sweat, and tears for this company, basically being his work wife, giving up personal quality time with my family using the pretext that I was working harder to provide or to put aside any possibility of personal life that I had because deep down I hoped that he would finally see me as someone worthy, someone on the same level as him.

But I wasn’t.

I was never going to be.

So I said that I quitted and left the room, without waiting for a reaction or reply. I didn't want to hear anymore. Yes, I had an important position, yes I had become a shareholder in less than five years, yes I made a lot of money and helped my family, but at what cost?

All of this, all this effort, for him to question my trust? My loyalty to Vante? To him? I was a fool to believe that I really knew Tae Hyung. Even more for assuming that he knew me too. Ten years right down the drain because of a stupid mistake. Or was it really that stupid? It was looking more like a blessing in disguise because that was what allowed me to put myself first.

Arriving at the lobby, I was feeling too upset to be confined in a metal box and decided to choose the good old emergency staircase. She was my companion in so many difficult and challenging times. Personal and professional. She heard me cry and scream. Saw me jump and celebrate. It couldn't be any different now, right? And maybe it was my last time taking advantage of its magical powers.

It didn't take long to hear Tae Hyung's voice calling me and then coming up right behind me. I've never been so angry and hurt in my life and I didn't want to see him. I needed space, was that so hard for him to understand?

He kept following me, begging for my attention and justifying what, at that moment, seemed unjustifiable to me. I wanted some time to think, to breathe, to do anything that didn't have to do with him or Vante. But then he touched me and the warmth of his skin brought me back to reality.

This could not be happening. Focus!

He kept insisting that it was all my fault and I was about to start screaming. Tae Hyung didn't hear me, didn't see me, didn't understand me. It was suffocating. He even dared to say that I loved Vante.

I loved something else, lots of other things to be honest, but he never cared enough to know what they were. Vante was waaaay down on my love list. This was just the place I worked, my God.

That's why when Tae Hyung told me he needed me there and I made it clear that he didn't need me for anything. He never did. I'm good at what I do, but he's just as good. He hired me to share the responsibilities and make more time for the other activities required for a CEO. Including those that could very well be illegal, right? Who knows...

No matter what arguments or fights he tried to start, or how blind he was, my tiredness was not going to be magically cured, my mental exhaustion wiped out forever and my feeling of non-belonging resolved. I seriously, from the bottom of my heart, thought somehow it could be different, but there are things in life that are not meant to be. I couldn't force an end result just because I wanted to. This wasn’t how a relationship worked.

So I asked him not to follow me anymore, I wanted to get off that fucking emergency staircase. I felt like I was going to be sick again, my blood pressure was low and I needed air. I’m done. A place that was special to me now has been polluted with this presumptuous little scene of him all smug telling me what I should or shouldn't do, wanting to label my feelings, not taking my resignation seriously, and demanding that I return the next day.

Fucking men.⠀

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𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱 ❤ 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗹𝘆 𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝘀𝗸! 𝗶 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ revised version: 09.25.2021

06. too blind to see | reliability • kth

previous | index | next

pairing: taehyung x reader word count: 2.258 genre: drama, light angst rating: pg-13 warnings: cursing, alcohol consumption au: ceo/office trope: enemies to friends to lovers tags: ceo!taehyung, office!au, best friend!yoongi, unresolved emotional tension, mutual pining, slow burn crosspost: ao3

summary: taehyung seeks advice from yoongi and ends up realizing that there are some unresolved feelings he needs to figure it out

A/N: this was probably one of my favorite chapters to write. working on the relationship between tae and yoongi is refreshing, because yoongi comes in as the voice of reason (and maybe even the reader's voice too a lil’ bit) and is a very important thing for the protagonist's development.

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“This is concerning” Yoon Gi said as he took the glass from the waiter's tray, “And it also doesn't make any sense. Y/N would never resign without good reason.” He paused briefly to face me, as I remained silent trying to find the right words. “What did you do, Tae Hyung?”

I fidgeted in the armchair a couple of times and ran my hands through my hair before revealing in a tone that I hoped was casual and aloof enough as if things like this happened all the time and I was perfectly okay with the consequences.

“I may or may not have humiliated her in front of the shareholders just to make a point about how wrong it was to go behind my back to buy your shares and then in private question her trust”

“Tell me you're joking” Yoon Gi looked me up and down, his expression a little difficult to read. He looked angry but at the same time confused, as if he hadn't heard me right. Apparently, my attempt at sounding casual failed. I could only mumble sounds. Words? What was that? I suddenly became desperate. Who was I trying to fool? Yoon Gi or myself?

“Tae Hyung! Are you stupid?” he placed the drink on the small table between us, “Why did you do that?”

The real reason I didn't know. I simply did it. Impulse? Yes. Stupidity? For sure. Ego? Most likely. The more I replay the incident in my head, the more ridiculous it gets. Saying it out loud? Mortifying.

“I know, I know” I started defending myself, “In the beginning, the shareholders were all nice and everything was great. They sucked up to me the way they never sucked up to my dad. However, as the years went by I started to deny their perks and demands and they responded by doing the absolute minimum. Didn't affect Vante as you would expect, instead left me with a bunch of shit to do and stress level through the roof” I explained.

Yoon Gi took another sip of his whiskey and, still holding the glass close to his mouth, he pointed his index finger at me making the liquid stir inside. “From where I’m standing you shouldn’t have used Y/N in your so-called revenge plan. You should have talked to her about it first and come up with a plan together to fuck those assholes”

“Yes, we already established that I am a jerk” I lowered my head, pouring more soju, “When I first heard she bought the shares I got really pissed, I’m not gonna lie. I explicitly told her you and I had a deal and she had to come to me first” I continued to defend myself, after all, there was some sort of logic behind my fuck up.

“She bought shares in which company?” Yoon Gi asked.

I squinted for a moment trying to remember names, “FL and Losna"

“Not many people know I own Losna, Tae” he pondered, “It may have been an honest mistake on her part”

“She knew about FL though!”

“I don't care, you’re wrong”

“Yoon Gi” I cry out.

I wanted his help to make sense of all of this and also get some moral support, not to take Y/N’s side and tell me the truth so bluntly. We have been brothers since we were ten years old, which means I hope he will lie to me and spare my feelings — it’s called good manners.

“Tae Hyung” he mimicked me in a sarcastic tone, obviously making fun of my pain, “Listen, I’ll talk to my lawyers about this to see how we can reverse the deal. At least with FL. Losna doesn’t matter much”

Yoon Gi was always mature, sensible, and responsible, there was no way he would spare my feelings. Deep down I knew that and understood he was the only friend who could get me right on track. Did I enjoy our little dynamic? No. Did it work? Every goddamn time.

“What about your dad? What will you tell him once he finds out?” I asked, making Yoon Gi laugh.

“The truth” he replied.

I crossed my arms and stared at him in total disbelief, “You say it like it’s easy…”

“It's not easy at all, but unlike you, my friend, I have this thing called uh…” Yoon Gi paused dramatically looking around as if he had lost something in the armchair, “...balls, so it’ll be fine” he smiled, not showing his teeth.

“Ha ha, very funny” I slowly clapped my hands.

“I wasn't trying to be” his eyebrows arched in surprise, “Natural talent, perhaps?”

“Sure, let’s go with that” I scoffed, “Can your natural talent also help me get back on Y/N’s good side?”

Yoon Gi narrowed his eyes, “Is there more you’re not telling me? Did something else happen?”

This man knew me very well, so much so he knew exactly when I was hiding a piece of information. If I wanted his help, I should tell the full story with Y/N, not just the meeting/humiliation part, so that's how I spent the next fifteen minutes detailing our conversation (or should I say fight?) at the building's emergency stairs.

When I finished, Yoon Gi took a few seconds to digest it all and then tilted his head sideways, biting his lip, trying to read my body expression. “Why are you so desperate to get her back?” he finally asked.

Thank God, an easy question to answer. “Because she is the best and I need her”

“Nah, I don't think that's it” he shook his head and shifted his body, now sitting more on the edge of the chair with a smirk on his face.

“What? What are you trying to say?” I disputed.

“You like her” he pointed his fingers at me, the smirk still intact on his face.

“I what?”

“Like her” Yoon Gi repeated and chuckled as he leaned back in his armchair again, probably satisfied with his ridiculously inaccurate and delusional remark. Unbelievable.

“Since when do you get drunk with only two glasses of whiskey?” I wondered.

“Don't deflect, Tae Hyung”

“I'm not” I shrugged looking around. I wanted to leave so bad. “I don’t know where you got this impression but I don’t like her”

“Don't deny it, Tae Hyung” Yoon Gi rolled his eyes.

“Fine, I’ll play along” I took off my blazer feeling annoyed with this line of questioning, “What made you think I like Y/N?”

Yoon Gi wasted no time. “Gee, I don't know, maybe it has to do with the fact that you talk about her all the time?” he leaned in to pick up his whiskey from the table, “Or how you find any excuse to work late just to see her for a couple more hours?” he asked before taking a sip.

“No no, forget it, I think it's because she never let you shoot your shot, not even in college, and you are secretly obsessed with the tug of war you two play” he seemed to be talking to himself, “It irritates you so damn much but at the same time is exciting, isn't it?” he finally looked at me and smiled. “You hate being told no but she makes it cool, doesn't she?” he lifted the glass as if he wanted to make a toast.

I looked to the glass, then to his face, then back to the glass. What is happening? Where did he get all this from? Why so many details?

“You have to stop reading webtoons, I'm serious” was all I managed to say.

“How can you be this oblivious?” Yoon Gi snorted. “I’m actually a bit sad for you”

“I don't see why” I blinked, confused by his statement. “I'm fine, she's fine. We'll see each other tomorrow” I smiled, sipping some of my soju after raising the glass. This was something worthy of a toast.

“You poor thing. No you won’t, she won’t come back” he shook his head. “I’m sorry to be the one to break it down for you but not only is she ‘the one that got away’, she’s also an amazing professional who just got an amazing opportunity”

When I called Yoon Gi earlier tonight this was not what I had in mind. As time went by I felt worse about how unable I was to resolve the situation.

“Opportunity?”

Yoon Gi pursed his lips for a moment organizing his thoughts. “Y/N is free to do whatever she wants and, honestly, I don't blame her. Ten years with you would take a toll on anybody”

“We’ve known each other for twenty” I replied, pretending to be offended.

“I’m not anybody, first of all” it was Yoon Gi's turn to be fake offended “And you're like my little brother, so it's different” he crossed his legs.

I sank in the armchair imagining Y/N disappearing from my life and never stepping a foot on Vante again: a bitter taste came to my mouth and I felt my chest tighten. 

“You really think she would do that? You know, go work somewhere else?”

Yoon Gi blushed and shyly nodded, “I would if I was her”

But she can’t go. I made a stupid judgment call and it’s not a good enough reason for her to quit. Maybe there is something more she isn’t telling me. If I could just talk to her one more time, if she gave me another chance, I would shut the fuck up and listen. She could demand anything and I would give it to her. A raise? More vacation days? Less overtime? I am willing to do whatever to get her back.

Seeing my sad face, Yoon Gi added, “Give her some space, Tae. Actual space, okay? Don’t call her, don’t text her, and for God’s sake, don’t chase her down some stairs”

Yeah, he's right, I shouldn't be pushing too hard, but then how am I going to show her how sorry I am? Me and my fucking ego ruined everything, that's great.

“I think the first thing you need to do is figure out how you truly feel about her" Yoon Gi started once he noticed the shift in my mood, “I can talk all night long about the tiny details I noticed throughout the years but it won't make any difference because you have to look back and see it for yourself”

I could honestly feel how much Yoon Gi cared. His tone of voice was soft and even a bit sweet, leaving me with no choice but to lift my chin and meet his concerned and loving gaze.

“I can be wrong though, I don't know” he quickly added, uncrossing his legs and placing his hands on his lap. “To be honest I was waiting for the day when you would come up to me and tell you guys were finally a thing. I kinda hoped you were at least working on it at this point. It's been a decade in the making, maybe more” he laughed trying to lighten the mood.

“I-I don't know, man” I confessed.

It was strange for me to hear out loud that Y/N was different because I always knew she was, since and the first time we met. There was something about her that attracted me and at the same time drove me crazy. I hated the way she treated me, always acting like she was superior, but I loved the way her indifference encouraged me to be better and overcome my own limits.

I never felt the need to label our relationship because it had automatically been labeled as 'incompatible' from the get go. It didn't matter how beautiful I thought she looked in a ponytail while studying late at night at the college library, how I envied her attitude towards life or her extensive knowledge in any subject, nor the good relationship she had with all the teachers, classmates. and now Vante employees, Y/N and I were not close enough to create a bond, let alone a relationship. We had no time, opportunity or desire to, I suppose.

Her position in the company felt like meant to be one of my mom’s shenanigans so it was surprising how long it took for shit to hit the fan. At some point, we were bound to have a fight or even fall out for good but I guessed that would happen within the first two years, not now. Besides, in the ten years she spent here, three were dating a guy from London. On and off, of course.

How was I supposed to compete with him? Not that I thought about competing in the first place but if I hypothetically did I wouldn’t stand a chance. Even with me being obviously more handsome, successful, and richer than him, they had a bond and intellectual compatibility I could never match.

“It's okay,” Yoon Gi assured with his hand on my shoulder, “that's why I told you to give it some thought and figure it out. It's normal, you have been close for so long that it might be hard to distinguish at first”

That's it? 

I'm just used to thinking of Y/N as a partner and not as a potential lover? Is it okay to change my mind at some point? Does she even care? What would she say? Wait, what would I say to her? 

This is all happening so fast.

I'm scared.

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𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱 ❤ 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗹𝘆 𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝘀𝗸! 𝗶 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ revised version: 09.25.2021

07. a double-edged sword | reliability • kth

previous | index | next

pairing: taehyung x reader word count: 4.738 genre: drama, light angst rating: pg-13 warnings: cursing au: ceo/office trope: enemies to friends to lovers tags: ceo!taehyung, office!au, best friend!yoongi, unresolved emotional tension, mutual pining, slow burn crosspost: ao3

summary: over the course of a month, tae is forced to face his feelings in order to fix things with Y/N. but will he be able to? she has some news.

A/N: a double-edged sword: a situation or course of action having both positive and negative effects. in this particular chapter i wanted to show that even when you have the best intentions at heart, things might take an inexpected turn and get you back to square one

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≡ 24 hours later ≡

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Saturday. 11pm. I was trying so hard to fell asleep but my stupid and stubborn brain only knew how to repeat Y/N, Y/N, Y/N, over and over and over and over again — it was driving me nuts.

Yoon Gi helped. He truly did. I felt so much better after talking to him but to be completely honest he stirred some shit inside me too and I wasn't sure how productive the next few days were going to be. If I can't sleep, how am I supposed to focus on work? Y/N may have quit but I was still CEO and had a lot of people depending on me.

In the dark, the light beams that came in through the bedroom window made shadows with interesting shapes and I stared at the ceiling as if it was going to give me the answers I needed.

I took a deep breath.

They say there are 5 stages to grieving: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. I already went through 3 but out of order. Does that count?

At first, I tried to bargain with Y/N. No success there. Then I went to straight denial as Yoon Gi casually pointed out how dumb and blind I have been. Now I'm getting depressed because I don't really see a way out of this. Y/N is gone.

Another deep breath.

Maybe I should go make ramen.

In the kitchen, while setting everything up, I went over different conversations I had with Y/N over the years, looking for any hint that my subconscious could have given me that I genuinely liked her. It was still weird to talk about it so openly, even in my own head. Bringing to consciousness something that was asleep, for whatever reason, was uncomfortable.

I'm not sure why I made a point of burying the possibility inside me. Maybe because I believed she hated me (but if she hated you so much, why did she go to work for you?), maybe because I thought she didn't have time for a relationship (she didn't have time because you loaded her with work, idiot) or it was because I was simply afraid (this seems like the most logical option, congratulations). The dialogue with myself went on for a while until the ramen was just the way I like it and I ate out of the pan sitting at the dinner table.

What do I really feel for her?

Is it attraction? Admiration? Lust?

What do I like about her?

If I text Yoon Gi right now will he block me? Probably.

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≡ 1 week later ≡

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “You have been quiet since you got here, honey. Did something happen?” my mom asked as she calmly sliced her steak. Joining us at the table were my father, my brother, and his fiancee Hyun Jae.

“Don't tell me you lost the exclusivity deal with that Australian company” my dad sipped some of his wine while my mom gave an elusive nudge with her elbow making him almost spit his drink.

“No dad, I renewed the deal” I replied.

“So what happened?” my mom insisted, more concerned now, even making Ye Jun lookup.

“Nothing, nothing” I reaffirmed with a (fake) smile making her smile too. “Tell me about the wedding, Jun. Have you guys set the date yet?” I pointed the knife at my brother and my future sister-in-law.

“September 15th” Hyun Jae nodded sheepishly.

“Excellent! I will ask Eun Ae to block my schedule"

“Thank you, Tae” Ye Jun smiled.

“It will be here in Seoul, a classic but intimate ceremony. We are not going to invite many people, just the dearest ones” Hyun Jae explained. “Are you bringing someone?”

I think she must have asked the question that everyone there wanted to ask because the three heads immediately turned to me. My mom because she was curious, my father because he was surprised, and my brother because of Hyun Jae's boldness. Now it was his turn to nudge her with his elbow.

“You can bring someone, or not, it’s fine, we don't care” she laughed embarrassed. “I mean, we do care, you are very important, we are family…” she immediately corrected herself.

“Baby, I think he got it” Ye Jun put his hand on top of Hyun Jae's, making her stop and breathe. It was actually funny the way she blushed. My brother, poor guy, head over heels for her, admired every tiny detail on her face. They deserve each other.

“You should bring Y/N” my mom commented with a smirk as if she had said the most brilliant thing ever.

My dad looked at her a little surprised, “She's a good girl, but wouldn't she give the wrong impression?”

I didn't even have time to say anything, because my mom already intervened as if Y/N was her own daughter, “What do you mean wrong?”

“No, not like that” said my father, “She works at Vante, she is not Tae Hyung's girlfriend. People gossip, you know Soo Jin?”

“And what do you know about gossip, anyway?” my mom narrowed her eyes.

“I'm right here, guys” I remarked, “Doesn't my opinion count?”

“Right” my dad rolled his eyes at my mom and turned to me, “What do you think? Would she accept the invitation even though she only has a professional relationship with you?”

“Maybe, I'll have to ask her” I took another bite of my food. With my mouth full I can't spill out that Y/N no longer works at Vante. My father would kill me.

* * * *⠀

As I'm walking to the front door to grab my jacket and car keys after I said goodbye to my family, I hear footsteps approaching behind me. To no surprise at all, it was my mother.

“You used to stay longer, you know?” she stood beside me, snuggling to her beautiful peach cardigan. Her cheekbones had a light shade of pink and her hair was up in a ponytail. She looked so young.

“I'm sorry mom, I really have to go”

“But it's Sunday” she pouted, hugging my right arm and stopping me from putting the other side of the jacket on.

My mom had this adorable side that came out every once in a while, whenever she needed some attention. Didn't happen much, but at the same time, it made my heart grow bigger. It also made me a little bit sad too since I knew it was because she was feeling either sad or lonely.

“Yeah, I know, I wish I could but there's a lot to be done at the company and I have to prepare for a big meeting tomorrow” I (white) lied since I'm embarrassed about the actual reason why. A part of that statement was true though.

“I know that excuse all too well” my mom side-eyed me, letting go of my arm, “Your dad used to say it quite a lot”

More and more I see traits of my dad in me and I hate it. I swore from the beginning that I was going to be different. Better. Look at me treating my mom the same way he did for so many years. I'm pathetic.

“Can't you ask Y/N to help you or handle the meeting? Just this once” she pleaded, watching me put the car keys in the jacket’s front pocket, “Your brother's wedding it's in 6 weeks and I need to discuss some things with you before"

“Uh…” I paused for a second. I should have seen this question coming. “Y/N is very busy too” I shrugged nonchalantly.

My mom furrowed her eyebrows.

“Let me check my schedule” I quickly intervened, holding her by the shoulders, trying to change the subject, “I think I can come to dinner next Friday and we’ll talk about the wedding”

“Fine” she sighed in defeat.

I gave her a big box smile and a kiss on the forehead, “Okay, I gotta go now, mom”

As I was reaching for the doorknob she said, “Wait, just one more thing”

“Yeah?” I turned around.

She looked me dead in the eyes, cute attitude long gone. “Apologize to Y/N”

“W-what?” I stammered in shock.

“I don't know what you did, but just apologize” she pointed her finger at me as if I was five years old and just did something naughty.

“How did you…” I avoided her stare, letting out a nervous laugh.

“Whenever we asked about her you gave evasive answers” she said just before poking me in the chest, “And I know you"

This was my problem and I didn’t want my mom worrying about it. She had a tendency to want to solve everything for everyone and I suspect she would also like me to date Y/N. To this day, I don't know what her real intention was in insisting on hiring Y/N, but something tells me that it was love at first sight for my mother — unlike me, which was not even on the 8790th sight. If my mother could have chosen to have a daughter, I’m sure she would describe Y/N head to toe, flaws and all.

“Thanks mom but I'll find a way to fix it” I replied with a faint smile, barely holding it together. If she only knew how I was feeling inside.

“Oh, I know that, you always do” she gave me a wink, “Just remember to speak from the heart” and rubbed my chest.

“I did that. Didn't work"

“Are you sure?” she squinted her eyes.

“What do you mean? Of course!” I pulled away.

“Tae Hyung, you have a terrible way to communicate your feelings” she looked back at the living room making sure no one was close by to listen to the next part as she whispered, “and that's on me and your dad" I laughed and she returned to normal volume, “So I highly doubt you knew what you were doing”

“I asked her to stay, that I needed her there”

“Wait, why?” she grabbed my arm again and led me towards the door.

“She quit” I whispered as we crossed the threshold.

“What?” my mom shouted.

“Shh!!” I said while closing the door behind us and pulling her close to me as we walked to the driveway, “Yes, I fucked up really bad mom, but I know that if I can just talk to her one more time I'll convince her to change her mind”

“Where is she now?” my mom asked, lowering the hand that was over her mouth.

There’s no more hiding, I guess. I need to come clean.

“I don't know"

“Good God, Tae Hyung” she slapped my arm, “How in the world did you manage to lose your most devoted and talented employee?”

“By being an asshole” I confessed.

She rolled her eyes, “Lovely”

The moment we approach my car I suddenly turn around, desperation fully displayed on my face, “Can you just please keep this a secret? I'll figure something out, just don't tell dad yet”

My mom pondered for a few seconds. Not if she was going to tell my dad or not, because I knew she wouldn't do it, but what to say to me next. I could see in her eyes how worried she was and how badly she wanted to offer me some kind of solution (the family's problem solver, remember?). Instead, she just used the old-fashioned threat, “You better!”

“Now I really have to go” I gave her a hug. “I love you”

“I love you too” she squeezed me a bit tighter before taking a step back and cupping my face, “And remember: be honest. With her, and with yourself”

“I will…” I nodded, promising myself that as difficult as it was, I would try. My mom was right and that was good advice.

“And stop being an asshole” she moved her hands from my cheeks and rested them on my shoulders.

That was also another good piece of advice, although more difficult to execute, so I just laughed, “I will”

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≡ 1 month later ≡

 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Right after I got out of the shower, while still drying my hair, I noticed my phone light up and vibrate over the sink. It took me a few seconds to register the name that appeared in large letters at the top: Y/N. I threw the towel away and picked up the device as fast as I could, almost dropping it on the floor. Desperate was an understatement.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Are you at home?” she asked, which I immediately replied with a grunt which made her continue, “Can I come in? We need to talk”

The tone in Y/N's voice was serious but didn’t show anger as I thought it would; not like that day on the emergency staircase, at least. I ran over to the intercom and saw her on the camera. The request was surprising, the time even more so. It wasn't like her to show up here at my house, so whatever she had to talk about it must be urgent. Okay, Y/N was the topic of conversation, but something stirred inside me and I started to feel restless.

“Sure” I replied, pressing the button that opened the gate and ending the call right away.

She caught me so off guard and I didn't even have time to put clothes on! I was still in my bathrobe. Damn, this doesn't seem appropriate. As soon as I heard the front door open, I ran into the bedroom and put on the first outfit I saw, a set of black sweats.

Back in the living room, Y/N was sitting on the couch with her elbows resting on her thighs and her chin in her hands, swinging back and forth. Was she nervous or just bored?

“Ah, hello!” I coughed first to announce my presence, “Sorry, I just got out of the shower”

“That’s okay” she straightened up and smiled, watching me walk around the couch and sit, “I should have given you a heads up before coming and not simply show up at your doorstep”

“You are always welcome” I adjusted the glasses on the bridge of my nose, still unsure of what to say next and somewhat afraid of what she had to tell me, “Did something happen?”

Y/N took a deep breath.

Oh-oh, that doesn't sound good.

“Over the past few weeks, I thought a lot about what happened, about the things I said and, especially about the things I didn't say” she looked away, now staring at the tv on the wall in front of us. “Do you remember that acquisition in Hong Kong?”

It took me a few seconds to pinpoint the memory but I smiled when I did, “Sure, it was your first international purchase”

That day Y/N was so happy and I remember thinking ‘It's just another purchase, why is she smiling so much?’, without even considering how meaningful it must have been for her.

“Yes, but what I remember most vividly about that day was the way you treated me” her gaze now returned to me, nostalgic and a kind of sad, “I felt invincible because you believed that I could be invincible” she smiled without showing her teeth as if the memory itself was a little painful to talk about.

“I thought you knew” I replied frowning, “You always acted like you were” I chuckled and Y/N blushed.

“Apparently, we never properly recognized how alike we are and how we have influenced each other over the years, have we?” she asked.

I thought about it for a moment, “Yeah, I guess you’re right”

“Everything has always been so implicit” she nodded, “At least for me…”

“Of course, for me too. I was never big on words, you know that” I agreed.

“Maybe that was our mistake too” she observed, suddenly making me understand exactly what this conversation was about. Watching my reaction closely, she continued, “You know what I'm talking about, don't you?”

I knew, of course I did, but it is so difficult to say it out loud.

“My inability to say thank you?” I teased, trying to be funny, too much of a coward to keep going. Why am I like this? Why do I have to make things more complicated? It's so simple. She is so simple.

“I was talking about how we both took each other's trust for granted and ended up abusing certain situations, thinking it would be okay and just brushing them off when in fact the chance of us getting hurt and feeling betrayed was pretty big” Y/N shrugged, “but sure, you can be really ungrateful”

Shit.

I must have spent a lot of time staring at my feet, searching for the right words, because she took advantage of my silence to keep talking.

“Precisely because I knew you trusted me so much, it didn't even cross my mind to consult you on such a small acquisition and, at that time, very insignificant and disconnected of Min Industries, because I had done it before” she paused and glanced back at me just to make sure that I was following along. “You, on the other hand, thought that I would stay, even after I was humiliated and hurt because that wasn’t the first time that we disagreed on something and you put on a little show”

Yup, she called me on my bullshit. I really took our relationship for granted. When I think of the selfish way in which I made certain decisions or how I treated her, it almost seems like an out-of-body experience. It is as if I look at myself and couldn’t recognize the person in front of me.

“My mistake was to assume that you knew and respected me enough not to use me as a pawn in a pathetic power scheme” Y/N continued, now with a little more urgency in her voice, “And yours was that I was going to tolerate this behavior forever and quietly; a bit submissively too”

She got up and started pacing around the room, “I should have told you that your attitude bothered me but I was busy and naively waiting for that Hong Kong Tae Hyung to appear. The one who was kind, empathetic, and also funny” she seemed lost in thought but not for long. She then regained focus and asked me with bitterness in her voice, “I wanted to be your friend, wasn’t it obvious?”

“No, quite the opposite” I snapped.

“Since college”

“What?” I widened my eyes, “You ignored me in college"

“Because in the few interactions we had, you always found a way to criticize me”

“Wait, you criticized me” I said, getting up and pointing a finger at Y/N.

She watched me do this and pointed her finger back, stammering a little bit, “I-I did it because you did it first”

“I'm so confused…” I massaged my temples as I walked towards the kitchen. Water, I need water.

Y/N was right behind me. She stopped in front of the island and watched me open the fridge. “You really have no idea what's going on around you, do you? Always oblivious”

“I don’t do it on purpose, Y/N” I justified, slamming the door and opening the bottle of water. My voice came out a little harsh because of the mocking tone she had used before — I couldn't help it, this is how we communicate. She noticed.

“But it doesn't hurt any less because of it” she whispered, lowering her head and staring at the counter.

Even after I realized my reaction was exaggerated and being completely aware that this was the whole point of the conversation, I couldn't hold back the following words and kind of shouted, “Is that what you wanted to tell me? At this hour of the night? That I’m a bad person? Thanks, I got the memo”

Y/N took a deep breath, “I'll let this one slide”

Does she want to lay all the cards on the table? Great, let’s do it.

“You know what?” I started, taking a quick sip of water and closing the bottle, “I've been waiting to hear from you for over a month. I was desperate thinking that something had happened. Now you show up here, late at night, with what I thought would be an explanation or at least a productive conversation, but no” I faced Y/N, my hands resting on the cold marble, fingertips gripping the edge tightly. “What do you want?”

“To tell you straight up I’m tired” she replied without any emotion in her voice, “I'm tired of your games, trying to understand your obsession with rules, sympathizing with your family problems, giving my blood sweat, and tears for Vante, acting like your work wife, giving up quality time with my family or any possibility of personal life” she shifted the weight from one leg to the other and tilted her head a little to the side, “I just wanted you to see me as worthy”

“Worthy?” I asked.

“Worthy of your time, of your friendship, and who knows, maybe something more” Y/N ended with a humorless laugh, the kind you give after hearing something absurd or a bad joke.

“Something more?” I blinked trying to assimilate the information.

Y/N rolled her eyes, “Don't try to be funny now”

“Promise I’m not” I raised both hands.

“Tae Hyung, for God's sake, the tension between us is palpable, it always has been. Can you honestly tell me you didn't feel it?” she leaned over the island and grabbed the water bottle in front of me and drank right away.

“Well, yes... I did” I scratched my head, “but you are so hard to read…”

“That's because you never bothered to get to know me. Not really” she capped the bottle and tossed it back to me, “Back in college you made sure to put up a wall between us. I don't even know you”

“What are you talking about?” I grabbed the bottle with one hand in a quick reflex, “You’re the person who knows me the best, Y/N” I pointed the bottle back at her.

“You only get that impression because we spent hours on end together, but when was the last time you told me anything personal?”

Wait, that was a valid question. When was the last time? I'm sure it wasn't that long ago. Hold on, I'll remember. It was that day... no, it was that time...

“See?” she crossed her arms, taking advantage of my inner monologue.

“We’re digressing” I walked around the kitchen, returning to the couch, “What is this worthy thing all about? Do you…” I paused as I sat down, biting my bottom lip “Do you like me?” I asked.

Y/N, still in the kitchen, laughed to herself before slapping the island's surface, “Out of everything I said, is this the part you’re focusing on?”

“Oh I'm sorry if I'm a little shocked by the ton of information you just dumped on me” I said in a sarcastic tone, getting up from the couch feeling the adrenaline running through my body, it was impossible to stay still. “It’s obvious that I had no idea that you felt so bad working at Vante, if I had known I would have done something about it. I never wanted or expected you to give up your life for me or the company, now I feel bad”

“It is what it is” she put her hands in the front pockets of the plaid maxi blazer and walked towards me.

“No, it doesn't work like that” I shook my head “It’s like you don't know the basics”

Then that's it. We reached the point of no return. With each new information Y/N revealed, more urgent was my need to make everything clear. I was scared as hell, but we had no choice. Either we talked about how we really felt or we would end our relationship for good.

“You can't come to my house and say everything you want to say and hope that I don't say anything back. The last month was a fucking nightmare for me, I replayed that night over and over in my head, dissecting all my answers and finding three new ones, because I knew I made the biggest mistake of my life” I felt like my heart was going to come out of my mouth, blood pumping in my ear, my hands were starting to sweat, “If I could go back in time, I would, but I can’t. And where were you for me to properly apologize?”

“I needed some time” she muttered.

“Yes, I understand, I don’t blame you. But now you’re here. Let's talk!”

Y/N was still standing behind the couch, her facial expression impassive, just waiting for what I was going to say next. I, on the other hand, had already taken off my glasses and moved to the front of the tv, walking back and forth in an attempt to calm down a little and choose the right set of words.

“I know I already said it, but I’m gonna say it again, I shouldn't have humiliated you in front of the shareholders, let alone questioned your trust or loyalty to me and Vante. For that and also for being an absolute jerk most of the time, I sincerely apologize”

Y/N nodded.

“It was never my intention to hurt you, drive you away, or disrespect you. You are the person I admire the most within the company. That day I saw the perfect opportunity and went for it. I thought that if I showed the shareholders that even the “boss’s favorite” didn’t have privileges, of course, they wouldn’t” I said calmly and slowly so that she had time to absorb everything.

“I am obsessed with rules because they help me find order amid chaos” I continued, “I’m terrible with surprises. I hate the feeling of helplessness that comes attached to error. My perfectionist nature limits me more than it helps and if I could change something about myself it would be that”

I walk towards Y/N, the only thing between us is the couch.

“Believe me, I didn’t make a conscious choice to use them as an obstacle to anything, including a relationship. I'm sorry for that too” I rubbed my eyes, taking a deep breath.

“About telling you things about my personal life, I honestly thought you didn't care at all” I looked up to meet her eyes, “Even before Vante, you never seemed to care about me that way” I put my hands in my sweatshirt pocket, “You mentioned the wall I put up, but you must have helped me build it because I also know very little about your life. Have you noticed that?”

Y/N was speechless. From her reaction, I could see I struck a nerve. She was too focused on pointing out my defects and forgot to recognize her own.

“Huh…” she said, narrowing her eyes after thinking for a while, “I think you’re right. Better late than never then”

“What?”

“Eric proposed to me” Y/N stated.

I shake my head, suddenly dizzy by what I just heard. Torn between confusion, despair, and a nervous breakdown, I feel like screaming and laughing at the same time because if I heard her correctly it is ridiculous. 

“Are you serious?”

Was Y/N testing me? I thought she liked me. Up until three minutes ago, that was what she made me believe. I’m not crazy, she said 'something more’, didn't she? So how could she be marrying another guy? And that stupid englishman of all people? It must be a joke.

“Didn’t you want me to tell you about my personal life? This is personal” Y/N crossed her arms, “Eric proposed to me”

“Okay, you are serious” I said to myself, “What did you say?” I turned my face to her, a pleading look on my face. At that moment it was impossible to read her expression and the silence was killing me, “Did you accept, Y/N?”

“Yes”

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𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱 ❤ 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗹𝘆 𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝘀𝗸! 𝗶 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ revised version: 09.25.2021

08. hanging by a thread | reliability • kth

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pairing: taehyung x reader word count: 2.909 genre: drama, light angst rating: pg-13 warnings: cursing au: ceo/office trope: enemies to friends to lovers tags: ceo!taehyung, office!au, best friend!yoongi, unresolved emotional tension, mutual pining, slow burn crosspost: ao3

summary: tae is conflicted between following yoongi's advice and respecting Y/N decision to move on with another man. which one will he choose?

A/N: definitely one of my favorite chapters :’) with the story nearing its end, i had to continue the build up and create a curve that would lead to the apex (which will come in chapter 9). hope you like it!!

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“I guess I should probably go…” was the first thing Y/N said after a few minutes of complete silence. I was leaning against the tv wall with my forehead pressed against the cold marble and eyes tightly shut. I knew she was starting to get uncomfortable and I desperately wanted to say something to make the situation less uncomfortable. Oh well.

“Are you coming back to Vante?” I asked slightly banging my head to make the imminent headache that was beginning to form go the fuck away.

“No, why?” she quickly replied, sounding genuinely confused.

I immediately turned around, “But I apologized”

“You’re missing the point — again” Y/N said annoyed, “It’s not about that. It’s about what’s best for me right now”

“Running away, you mean?” I crossed my arms and took a few steps closer to her.

“Choosing” she got up from the couch with her purse already hanging from her shoulder, ready to leave. “For the first time in a long time, this is something I chose, for myself. Not for you, not for my family, not for anybody”

I think she has a point. After how honest she was today, I can only accept that she no longer wants to work with me, let alone have me in her life, but it's hard. I never thought we would reach this point. Although she didn't consider us friends, I feel like I'm losing one and it’s the weirdest feeling ever. I don't even know what I can possibly say to reverse this situation and make sure that at least we keep in touch from time to time, like college buddies I guess. 

Jesus, this is so lame. I don’t know if I can do it.

The crazy part is that, for a millisecond, I saw something sad in her eyes. Like she didn't want to go away or maybe she regretted this decision. Unfortunately, I can't hang my hopes on a hunch. I shouldn’t have hopes in the first place, she made that very clear tonight.

“I’ll have your paperwork ready by monday morning. Can you swing by the office?”

“Yes, thank you!”

The relief tone she used stung.

“I’m gonna go now” Y/N announced and I moved out of the way taking a couple steps back to let her through.

“I’ll walk you out”

“Don’t worry about it” she gave me a faint smile, “I know the way”

I feel a mixture of contempt, sadness, and shame. She doesn't even wanna be close to me. It's like I don't know her anymore, I'm shocked. I can't even accompany her for the last time, say a proper goodbye. Would I ever see her again?

Before she reached the front door I decided to turn my back so I wouldn't have the image of her leaving engraved in my brain forever. If I didn’t see it then it didn’t happen, it’s not real, she didn’t leave for good, just temporarily.

Entering my bedroom, I grabbed my phone lying on the bed and texted Yoon Gi.

kim taehyung | 11:23pm: she’s gone gone  min yoongi | 11:25pm: what? kim taehyung | 11:25pm: y/n. she left for real this time min yoongi | 11:26pm: why? kim taehyung | 11:29pm: she’s getting married

As soon as I pressed send I knew it would get a reaction out of him and I laughed out loud when my phone rang announcing his call coming through.

“What the fuck?” Yoon Gi bluntly started.

“Yes” I chuckled.

“You’re kidding right?”

I moved up the bed and laid down, propping one of my arms behind my head, “Wish I was”

“Hold on. How is she getting married? To whom? Was she even dating?”

“To some English guy named Eric”

“English?” he sounded disgusted.

“Well, he’s half Korean. His parents moved to England before he was born” I stared at the ceiling recalling the time when I first found this out.

“How do you know that?” Yoon Gi asked like he read my mind.

“Google”

“Taehyung…”

He will think I’m crazy.

“Fine, a private investigator”

“Just because she is marrying him?”

See? Crazy people behavior alert.

“God no, I’m not a psycho” I explained, “I had him check out the first time he appeared, a few years ago. He’s Y/N college boyfriend”

“So you know him”

“No. Technically they met at the MBA program in London not in college but it was around the same time we graduated so who cares…Anyway, one day he showed up at the office to pick her up and she introduced him as her boyfriend”

I remember like it was yesterday, dark hair, bangs almost on his eyes, a kind smile. A full-on goody-goody. Too perfect to be real, raising the biggest red flag on my book of weirdos.

“I thought it was very strange she hadn’t mentioned a boyfriend before so I had him check out just to make sure he wasn’t a serial killer or something, you know?” I continued.

“And at that moment you didn’t realize you had feelings for her?” the way Yoon Gi asked the question I knew he was furring his eyebrows behind the phone.

“What?”

“Please, who does that? You actually paid a guy to look into another guy because of a girl. A girl that was just your employee, by the way. Don’t you think it screams ‘I’m-in-love-with-you-and-incredibly-jealous-of-this-relationship-you-suddenly-have’?”

“Now I do,” I scratched my head and sat up, “at the time I thought I was just being nice and looking out for a female employee. You know how many weirdos exist these days”

“Right…”

I let out a loud sight and got out of bed. Yoon Gi was doubting my intentions and, even though I was unconsciously already interested in Y/N at the time, what I did was perfectly okay. I didn’t do it because I was jealous nor was I trying to sabotage their relationship.

“Did you at least confess your feelings?” he asked.

I paced around the room a little bit before answering, “Not exactly”

“What do you mean not exactly? Either you did or you didn’t”

“We kinda argued about some stuff, then acknowledged we had sexual tension and next thing I knew she was telling me how ever since college she wanted to be my friend or even more”

“Yah!!!!” Yoon Gi yelled, making me almost drop my phone.

“What, what?”

“If I was next to you right now I’d punch you in the face”

“Why?” I asked, kneeling in front of the bed and putting my phone on speaker. Yoon Gi knew how to be scary sometimes.

“I can’t believe she said this and you didn’t confess” he grunted, “That was your cue! What’s wrong with you?” I could hear the non-existent facepalm from miles away. He was disappointed in me, I knew it. Bet he’s thinking how our conversation at the pub didn’t mean shit for me, but it did.

“I apologized though” I paused to get a reaction, staring at the phone. “Wholeheartedly!” I added.

Sometimes I felt like a little boy asking his father's approval. I never did that with mine but I found myself doing it with Yoon Gi every now and then. I always wanted to be cool in his eyes.

“Okay, that’s actually good”

I silently mouthed a thank you and fixed my posture to sit cross-legged in front of my phone to talk to Yoon Gi as if he was on my bed.

“Yeah, but then as I was gathering the courage, trying to find a way to approach the subject she was like since you wanna know about my personal life, I’m engaged, how’s that for personal? and I was just standing there like are you serious?”

I may have mimicked her voice and my voice for theatrical purposes, which made Yoon Gi laugh. He could be so annoying sometimes, I swear. 

“Why you laughing?”

“I’m imagining the look on your face”

“Thanks”

“Go on…” he said, obviously trying to hold his laugh.

“That was basically it. She said it was her choice and I pondered a little bit before agreeing and saying I would have her resignation papers drafted and ready by monday morning”

“Wait, so she’s not coming back?” Yoon Gi’s tone went back to serious.

“Oh yeah, no" I shrugged.

“Wow, you’re fucked” he clicked his teeth.

“Yup” I agreed, infatuating the ‘p’.

“Personally and professionally” he reiterated.

“Big time”

“I don’t know what to say to you right now”

“I was counting on your advice, to be honest” I tittered.

“Now that you thought about your feelings and is sure about them, you have to tell her”

“Yoongi,” I got up and started gesticulating towards the phone as if he could see me, “she’s getting married!”

Did I not tell the story right? Was he not following along?

“She’s not married yet”

He got me there. If we are going to stick to technical terms, I guess Yoon Gi is right.

“On monday morning, when she stops by to get the papers, just tell her” he suggested.

I don't know, there is something about not respecting the boundaries she imposed half an hour ago that doesn't sit right with me. On the other hand, what made me equally uneasy was how sad she seemed when she left.

“It won’t make any difference” I scoffed, sitting down next to the phone and biting my thumb nail.

“You don’t know that” Yoon Gi reprimanded me.

“I don’t think she’ll like it very much” I shook my head nervously.

Come to think of it, she has been sad ever since our talk in the emergency staircase.

“You don’t know that either” he pointed out.

“Isn’t it just rude? I know she’s with another guy and she made it very clear tonight that she doesn’t want to be in any form of relationship with me. She didn’t even let me walk her out!”

“Stop making excuses for yourself and decisions for her. Just tell her. You’ll feel better, I promise”

“Doubtful” I said, face between my hands, the sound coming off a little bit muffled. I don’t know if Yoon Gi heard me or not. He’s right, I know he is, but I just can’t do it. She’ll just start to hate me and if there’s one thing I’m not willing to lose is her respect.

“Listen to me, don’t listen to me, I don’t care. You know I don’t care” he said, “All I know is that you guys would’ve been great together and you’ll definitely regret it not even trying”

“Damn” I looked at the phone.

“What?” he chuckled, “Too harsh?”

“Not more than usual”

That made me smile. Yoon Gi has always been the type of friend who said what needed to be said instead of what you would like to hear. At the beginning of our friendship, I misunderstood his advice for personal criticism especially tailored to hurt my ego. As I got to know him better, I learned his sincerity was a gift and was always accompanied by the best intentions. He really cared. Not about if I liked or not or what I was going to do per se, but how much I was going to let the problem affect me. 

Yoon Gi is an empathic guy, although he doesn't seem like it at first. He is always thinking about how to help other people feel better and I am very grateful to have him in my life. He knows that even if I don't take the majority of his advice, I have too much respect for him to not at least consider what he has to say.

“I was going for painful” he jokes.

“I appreciate you” I smile again.

“I know you do”

“Talk to you soon”

“Bye!”

After ending the call, I had a lot to think about. I needed a plan to talk to Y/N on monday, I couldn't just confess my feelings out of the blue. It's late and I'm too tired. I'll deal with it tomorrow.

******

As soon as I turn left on the street, I can see my house and relief runs through my body. I can't wait to take a shower and sleep! Airplanes are so uncomfortable. But wait, the lights are on.

After parking, I climb the short flight of stairs that connects the garage to the main house and go out into the corridor, instantly being greeted by the delicious smell of something being baked.

“Hi, I’m back!” I say in a sing-song voice, taking off my shoes.

“In the kitchen” a female voice shouts.

Heading in the direction of the voice, and thinking about what I'm probably going to eat, I walk into Y/N separating some ingredients on the island and picking up the mixer.

“What are you doing?” I ask confused.

“Baking a cake?” she replies with a ‘duh’ expression.

I didn't know Y/N liked to cook, I'm quite shocked she is here. How did she get in? I don't remember giving her the keys.

“Okay, and since when do you bake?” I teased taking off my jacket and throwing it on the couch.

She looked up, pointing the spatula at me, “Since the man that I love decided he didn’t want a birthday party”

I smiled and she continued preparing what I gathered was the frosting. I'll never get sick of hearing her say those words. It gives me goosebumps and fills my chest with the warmest, most amazing feeling.

“It’s not that big of a deal” I shrugged.

It really wasn't. I don't care much about my birthday. I used to when I was younger. Once I rented a yacht for the weekend, another time I took my friends to Greece, another year I went to Vegas with Yoon Gi. It's funny to see how priorities change over time because these things sound so trivial right now and don't appeal to me anymore. I did it for fun, not because the fact that I was born was an important event. It was just a date on the calendar where I was allowed to go crazy.

Y/N, however, didn’t see it that way.

“To me it is!”

Inside the bowl in front of her was this beautiful, soft-looking white mixture that made my mouth water and I quickly reached my hand to scoop a little bit.

“This looks good, can I have a tas—” I was interrupted with a slap on my hand.

“No!”

“Ouch” I laugh.

“I’m not done yet” she laughs too and I roll my eyes. Just a tiny bit wouldn’t make a difference, she knows that! Looks so tasty.

“If you behave, I have a surprise set up for you later” she smirked.

“Oh really?” I hugged her from behind, putting my hands on her stomach and leaving a kiss on her cheek. She hummed in response and kept smiling while stirring the mix.

“Can’t wait” I whispered in her ear before kissing her naked shoulder, which unfortunately wasn’t for long thanks to a stupid alarm that started ringing nonstop.

“Aren’t you gonna get that?” Y/N asked me and I shook my head in the crook of her neck. “Tae!” she laughs, “Your phone is ringing”

All of a sudden I feel sad for some reason, “I wanna stay here with you”

Y/N immediately stops stirring the mix and turns around to face me, displaying the most loving look in her eyes as she smiles and hugs me, “But baby, I’m not going anywhere”

And just as seamless it started, seamlessly it ended. When I turned around to pick up my phone and answer it, I suddenly found myself in another place, now totally dark and Y/N was nowhere near. This is actually my bedroom, 4:12 am. It was all a dream.

I sat on the bed, took a few deep breaths, ran my hands over my face and hair, forcing myself to get back to reality and fully wake up from the best and most realistic dream I’ve ever had. It was like a taste of what my life could have been with Y/N if only I had realized my feelings sooner. I hate myself for wasting so much time and energy fighting and suppressing it.

I squeezed my eyes shut trying to remember every detail of her face as she smiled at me. I don't think I have ever gotten this close in real life and wonder how I managed to visualize those beautiful eyes so clearly. Especially the way they formed wrinkles on top of her cheekbones when she smiled and the way her lips practically begged to be kissed.

She seemed so happy with me. And she was baking a cake, for God’s sake. I don’t even like cake that much and yet she made them look like the best creation mankind came up with. Who knew a dream could leave you this worked up. No, stop! I have to remind myself that it isn’t real. She’s not mine, she’s marrying somebody else.

She’s not married yet.

Yoon Gi's voice pops up in my head and that statement is the only thing I can think of as I lie down again and try to go back to sleep. I don’t think I’ll be able to wait until monday to talk to her. I can’t hold it in anymore.

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𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱 ❤ 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗹𝘆 𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝘀𝗸! 𝗶 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ revised version: 09.25.2021

09. careful decision, heartful declaration | reliability • kth

previous | index | final

pairing: taehyung x reader word count: 4.197 genre: drama, angst rating: pg-13 warnings: cursing, tears, lots of angst au: ceo/office trope: enemies to friends to lovers tags: ceo!taehyung, office!au, best friend!yoongi, unresolved emotional tension, mutual pining, slow burn crosspost: ao3

summary: time seems to drag on until taehyung is finally able to pour his heart out for Y/N. everything led up to this very moment. he's ready!

A/N: the amount of work i put into this chapter speaks for itself. i'm very proud of the final result, especially taehyung's declaration. please enjoy and get tissues :')

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SUNDAY, 10:01 a.m.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ When I woke up the next morning and checked the time I realized three things: 2 missed calls from my mom, 1 text from Yoon Gi, and 1 very vivid dream still in a replay. My night was agitated, to say the least. I woke up several times, switched positions more than I could count, and my brain refused to cooperate or shut off. Where should I even start?

After breakfast, I decided to call my mom first.

“Finally” she answered the phone.

“It’s 10 a.m., mom” I yawn.

“Listen, Hyun Jae hurt her foot while we were visiting the wedding venue so the ceremony will have to be postponed”

I immediately stop stretching and focus on the gravity of what I just heard, “Oh, wow. Is she okay?”

“Yes, it’s just a bad sprained ankle. We’re at the hospital right now” my mom replied, kind of whispering, “She’ll have to wear that boot thing for a few weeks”

“I see” I glance over to the kitchen clock, “Since you’re in the hospital with her, I assume Ye Jun is too and our visit to the tailors is canceled”

“Yeah” my mom sighed. “Oh, I ran into Y/N” she added more cheerfully, which immediately made me imagine the worst scenario possible.

“At the hospital?” I asked a bit desperate, getting up from the dinner table.

“No, calm down. At the coffee shop near the venue. I stopped by before the meeting and she was leaving”

Phew.

“Was she alone?”

My mom could sense something was up so she asked suspiciously, “Yeah, why?”

“Nothing” I answered with a smile, happy that the english dude wasn’t around,

“Did you talk to her?”

“Just a quick hello” she was still very skeptical of my line of questioning.

“How was she? Did she look sad or something?” I started pacing around the kitchen.

“No, she was smiling, very polite as always” my mom replied obviously fed up, “What’s going on Tae Hyung? What happened between you two?”

“Nothing” I assured her.

“Did you apologize like I told you to?”

“Yes, I did” I paused, “Profusely”

“Then why are you worried? Aren’t you on good terms now?”

Last night’s discussion came flooding back and I had no option to tell her a semi-truth.

“Yeah, we are”

Semi because we reached an agreement but it wasn’t the best or most ideal one. Technically we are on good terms. Realistically? Well, we pretty much ended our relationship. How do you label that? How do you explain this to a third party? Especially to my mom.

“Great!” she cut me off, ending the conversion, “Listen, the doctor is back to discharge Hyun Jae. I gotta go”

“No problem” I turn on my heels, heading to the bathroom, “Wedding postponed, tailor’s appointment canceled. Got it”

What I need now is a long shower to properly wake up, make me forget the realistic dream, and relax. Lying to my mom is exhausting and I don't like doing it, but I'm not ready to tell her the whole story.

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SUNDAY, 12:30 p.m.

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“The answer is no” Yoon Gi tells me when I called him back after his ‘wanna hang out?’ text.

“Come on, please?” I beg.

“For the hundredth time, I don’t play tennis and neither do you”

“How dare you?” I gasp overdramatically, “ I’m an excellent player”

“Excellent faker” he points out.

Maybe I’m not the best player around, but I sure looked cool trying it. Yoon Gi doesn’t get it.

“Can we please just go out and do something productive? I can’t stay around the house. It will give me too much time to think about Y/N”

“We can go to a shooting range” he suggests like it was something completely normal, the only obvious choice.

“To a what?”

“Shooting range” he repeats, “Guns. Bullets. Loud noises. Stress reliever”

“I know what it is” I scoff.

“I don’t hear a no in that sentence, therefore I’m texting you the address right now and will meet you down there in half an hour”

“Yoon Gi!” I protest.

“Hanging up, can’t hear you, goodbye"

And just like that, the call ended. I found myself staring at the screen completely unsure of what just happened and questioning if I consciously agreed to shoot a gun. A real one. Then the text popped up.

min yoongi | 12:35pm: 21 Bongeunsa-ro 2-gil, Yeoksam-dong, Gangnam-gu

He is serious, okay.

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SUNDAY, 01:09 p.m.

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The shooting range didn't look as scary as one normally would in movies. From the street, the entrance looked like an ordinary restaurant, to be honest. In my mind, shooting ranges were a dark, tiny and underground space with dim lights and strong manly men judging me from afar. The reality was quite the opposite. Very spacious and colorful with extremely organized rooms and various types of weapons, not to mention the staff, which included men and women of different ages. It had a gym vibe, come to think of it.

After entering, meeting Yoon Gi at the counter, and going over all the bureaucratic stuff that involves shooting a gun, we were taken to a small room with 6 individual cabins.

“You can definitely pretend the target is the english dude” Yoon Gi said after we chose the last two cabins in the back, “I won’t judge you”

“Jesus man, you’re a savage” I replied putting on my safety glasses.

He side-eyed me, “I’m not actually into violence, you know that. It’s just playing pretend. Let loose”

I knew that, but sometimes Yoon Gi's ability to analyze a situation impassively rather than emotionally, scared me a little bit. Sure, I could imagine Eric as my target, but I didn't really want to hurt him, so what was the point?

“Who are you imagining for your target?” I asked genuinely curious.

“Myself” he cocked and fired so quickly and confidently my jaw dropped.

“I’m sorry, what?”

Yoon Gi smirked with eyes still on the target, which he hit perfectly, “Long story”

After that, I pressed the intercom button on the side of my cabin to request staff assistance. I think Yoon Gi invited me here because he needed to, and I could see he had a lot on his mind to stop and teach me how to shoot this thing.

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MONDAY, 08:41 a.m.

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Monday morning finally rolled around, and as I was in the car heading to Vante, a million things came to mind. My playlist was on shuffle and the universe, being the prankster that it is, started playing a terrible sequence of sappy songs that remind me of Y/N. I've never been the guy to get attached and this is all very new. Kind of strange (and wonderful) how I discovered this new side of me thanks to her.

“Good morning, Mr. Kim” Eun Ae got up and bowed as I stepped out of the elevator.

“Morning, Ms. Gwa” I bowed back, “What’s my schedule for today?”

“At 9 you have a conference call with Mr. Song Kang Dae, at 10:30 a meeting with our lawyers and a 1 o’clock lunch reservation at La Yeon with your dad” she followed me into the office.

“Busy day ahead, I see” Y/N smiled and bowed to us.

The second my brain registered it was Y/N's voice, my heart skipped a beat. I wasn't expecting her so early.

“Hi, Y/N”

“Excuse me” Eun Ae said quietly, shutting the door on her way out.

“Eun Ae didn’t see me get in, don’t get mad at her” Y/N explained.

“Mad? No, it’s fine” I sat at my desk, “Your papers should be somewhere right here…”

“Okay” she replied.

A few seconds of very uncomfortable silence passed before Y/N herself broke it.

“So I…”

“Found it!” I shouted, grabbing the file and going around my desk to give it to Y/N.

“Oh, great” she smiled without showing her teeth, which I thought was a bit weird like she was suddenly annoyed for some reason, “Where do I sign?”

“Here, here, and...right here” I pointed to the colored arrow-shaped post-its.

I was trying to be as professional as I could before jumping into the most important part. Finding the perfect segway for a confession is harder than it seems and I was no longer paying attention to what Y/N was doing, all I could do was rehearse in my head what I was going to say next.

“Uh” I began after she and I were finished with the paperwork, “I was wondering if I could talk to you about something else before you leave”

“Sure! I need to tell you something too” she fixed her posture and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

Y/N seemed nervous, maybe she should start.

“Yeah? Please go ahead”

“No, you go first!”

“It’s okay, you can start” I insisted.

“First things first, you don’t have to worry about my shares, I’m in the process of selling them back to you. Lee Sung is helping me with that, actually” she dried her palms on the navy blue skirt, “You also don’t have to worry about me working for another company because the NDA I signed is still valid and…”

She paused again as if she was afraid to say whatever it was she wanted to say. Ironically it made me feel better about what I wanted to share. She was just as nervous as I was and that was probably a good sign.

“And?”

“I won’t be working in Korea”

“W-what?” I muttered, eyes wide.

That’s not a good sign at all. In my brain, all kinds of sirens went off.

“I’m moving to London”

And then the sirens stopped, making room for an excruciating silence. I felt like I was deaf because her lips were moving but I couldn't understand a word. My mouth was completely dry. Face was hot, very hot. Hot enough to make my eyes start to sting and the tears come out to relieve them.

“This isn’t how I planned to tell you. I’m sorry” was the first thing I heard when my world started spinning again, “Please know that I’ll always be thankful for you taking a chance on me, teaching so much about the business, and of course, trusting me to help expand Vante beside you” she continued.

“Oh… I…” I stuttered, failing to give Y/N a proper answer.

“It’s a lot to take in, I know” she stared down at her lap.

My facial expression is either hilarious or very scary right now, thank God she's not looking directly at me. I'm trying my absolute hardest to fight back the tears by staying completely still.

“I feel like it’s the right moment to explore other opportunities. I’ve done pretty much the same thing over the last decade and it’s time to try something new” Y/N explained while playing with a loose thread on the sleeve of her white shirt.

“Uh...That’s all I had to say” she suddenly looked up and smiled at me, “Now you go”

Everything I had rehearsed and planned is gone. I have no idea how I was going to start, what I was going to say. I better get straight to the point and just say it. Quick and easy.

“I…”

She watched me intently, eyes searching for something in mine. I eagerly tried to do the same and convey everything I was feeling and that my throat wasn’t allowing with that stupid lump. It was so tight that I thought I was going to die of asphyxiation.

“You...ah” I finally managed to speak and clear my throat, “You ran into my mom yesterday”

“Yeah, I did!” Y/N nodded surprised, “She was so sweet. I hadn’t seen her in a while”

I smiled.

“That’s it? That’s what you wanted to tell me?” she chuckled.

“I know! Silly, right?” I made a silly face and got up, “Anyway, I don’t wanna keep you”

Y/N got up too and as she was talking towards the door she stopped and turned to me, “Isn’t this awkward?”

“A little bit, yeah” I agreed, hands in my pockets, “Are you sure this is what you want?”

“Please don’t make this harder” her expression got serious, a bit darker even.

“I’m not. I’m concerned about you”

“I’m not having this conversation with you, it’s not gonna end well” she started walking again.

“I don’t mean to start a fight, Y/N” I grabbed her wrist, “It’s just…" I let her go once she turned to me, “I can’t watch you walk away like this. It hurts too much, especially because it’s all my fault”

“You already apologized, I accepted and we need to move on” she looked away.

“But…”

She immediately turned and looked me dead in the eyes, “I thought a lot about this, I promise you” 

“You quitted in the middle of an argument”

“I did, but as soon as I calmed down a couple days later I thought about coming back”

“What?” I crossed my arms, “Why didn’t you?”

“That’s when the ‘thinking’ began. I spent a month figuring it all out. Once I reached my decision I immediately went to your house”

“But you didn’t say anything that night” I narrowed my eyes.

“I was planning on it but the topic of conversation changed really quickly” she grabbed her phone and looked at the time, “and I feel like it’s going to happen again right now if we keep diving into it”

I was already feeling restless and then the irritation crept in because I needed to know what was going on in her head. I'm tired of this fucking game.

“I get it and I respect your decision, however, I don’t understand it. At all”

“I’m sorry” she took a step backward.

“Don’t apologize for your feelings,” I took a step forward “just explain to me what’s going on and I’ll try my best to be supportive.” I paused for a second, studied her expression from up close, and grew impatient as she stood there with a blank stare, “If you don’t wanna work here because of me, that’s fine” I walked past her, going over to my desk, “The part that hurts me the most though is that we’re behaving like strangers right now and it’s weird”

“We both said things we can’t take back” she justified while I still had my back to her.

“I don’t care” I turned around, “What I do care is if you still respect me”

“What? Of course, I do” she sounded offended.

Now Tae Hyung, say it! Go for it!

“Great, because–”

“Please, you’re making this really hard for me” she interrupted.

Fuck!

“Why?” I sat down and propped my elbows on the table, zero patience left, ready to hear how I’m the one making this hard for her and not the other way around, “Why?”

“Because this is the toughest decision I had to make” she shouted, walking back to the couch and throwing her purse, “You think I wanted to walk away from this? From you? I had to. The argument we had a month ago was just the last drop of water in a glass that was already threatening to overflow”

She paced back and forth a couple of times, took a deep breath, and continued.

“I thought long and hard, the good, the bad, and everything in between. What you don’t seem to realize is that I didn’t recognize myself anymore” her voice was just a whisper. “I had no life, no plans, no nothing. I was on auto-pilot and I couldn’t take it anymore, it was too much. I had to take control of my life once and for all”

Y/N picks up her purse and approaches my desk.

“That’s why I’m starting over. I’m tired of holding on Tae Hyung, I need to let go. Please let me go”

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MONDAY, 10:22 p.m.

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“And that’s the last thing I remember. Her storming out of my office” I said before taking another shot of soju, “I don’t remember my meetings, what I ate with my dad, nothing. What time is it by the way?”

“Around 10, I guess. When did you start drinking?”

“Not that long ago, I think 7?” I squint, trying to look at my watch but it’s out of focus.

“She really fucked you up, huh?”

“Yoon Gi, I didn’t call you here for you to remind me of her” I pointed a finger at my friend, “I don’t wanna talk about Y/N”

“You brought her up” he sipped his drink sounding incredibly amused.

“You know what the worst part is? She didn’t let me talk” I pouted.

“No, I know you. If there’s one thing you do and do it well is talk. I think you had plenty of chances to say what you wanted to say. You didn’t because you were scared”

“I was about to. Twice!”

“If you only channeled the energy that goes to arguing with her towards confessing, oh man, your life would be so much easier”

“Oh, I’m sorry, when was the last time you confessed any type of feelings for another human being?” I took another shot and slammed the tiny glass on the counter of the bar, “What a goddamn expert you are, huh?”

“Tae, let me take you home. You need some sleep”

“No, no sleep!” I waved my hands in front of him, “What I need is to talk to Y/N”

“Absolutely not” he put his drink down and stared at me.

“Yoon Gi, please” I put my hand on his shoulder, “I’m doing this with or without you but I much rather if you were there”

“You...you just said you didn’t want to talk about her! Now you want to go see her?” he pinched the bridge of his nose, “What the fuck? I hate drunk Tae Hyung” he complained.

I shrugged, “I’m not drunk, I just changed my mind"

“I’m clearly in charge of a child. I can’t believe this” Yoon Gi got up and grabbed his jacket from the back of the chair.

I did the same, knowing I was in good hands for the rest of the night, “Let’s go!”

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

MONDAY, 11:05 p.m.

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“I’ll stay in the car, okay? Dong Hyun will park a little bit down the street so we can give you some privacy” Yoon Gi explained, “If you need anything, call. But try not to, okay? Handle your shit for once”

“Okay” I laughed and hugged him.

“Get off me” he pushed me out of the car.

Standing on the sidewalk in front of Y/N’s house, I waited for Yoon Gi's car to drive away to approach the intercom and press the button. A few seconds later, she answered.

“Yes?”

“Hey, it’s me!” I appeared in front of the camera, “I need to talk to you”

“It’s 11 o’clock” she whispered and I could tell she was pissed.

“Yeah, but I really gotta talk to you, can you just come outside?”

Silence.

“Hello? Y/N” I tapped the camera.

More silence.

I went back to the sidewalk, saw the living room light on, and yelled out her name.

“What are you doing here?” she opened the gate and walked over to me wearing a big cozy coat on top of what I guessed was her pajamas.

“Please don’t go!” I blurted it out.

“Stop!” she was full-on angry and stretched her hand out to keep me at a distance.

I approached her, her hand almost touching my suit, “I’m serious”

“Are, are you drunk?” she bent down to look up at my eyes.

“Drunk has such a negative connotation. I think inebriated is a better word for it”

“It’s late Tae Hyung, go home” she turned around to go back inside.

“I’ll be here all night if I have to” I dared, opening my arms.

She held the gate looking at me, “I’ll call the police

“That’s excessive” I cocked my head, “Do it, I don’t care” and shrugged.

“You think this is funny? Are you enjoying this?” Y/N quickly hushed towards me, leaving the gate open.

“No and no” I replied with a shy smile, “I came here because I need to tell you something”

“We said everything we wanted to say this morning”

“No, you did!” I scowled, “Why are you being like this?”

She hugged her coat tighter, arms crossed, chin threatening to tremble, “Please leave”

“Don’t go to London”

“What?” she blinked.

“You heard me. Don’t go. I need you here, I want you here. You belong with me”

Y/N expression was the purest form of shock, “Excuse me?”

“For the last ten years, I’ve been deeply and blindly in love with you. So much so it’s basically second nature to me. I didn’t have to question my feelings because they’ve always been there. You felt like home. You are home. I’ve been trying to tell you this since you came to my house. I’m so sorry it took this long for me to realize how special you are, how wonderful my life is with you in it, and how incredibly lucky I am to even know you”

Y/N’s mouth was slightly open, her expression more relaxed. No raised eyebrows or any indication that those words were bothering her in any way, so I kept going.

“You drive me crazy but I wouldn’t have it any other way! You taught me so much. You are fierce, smart, and funny. I love everything about you!” I chuckled, “From the way you tie your hair to how you handle our meetings. I’m in awe of how strong you are and how much work you put into everything you do” I paused, staring deep into her eyes, “I’m also very thankful to you for being by my side through many ups and downs. I never meant to take your generosity and support for granted, but I have, and it kills me to look back and realize I didn’t appreciate you while you were around. That I didn’t support you when you needed the most”

I could already see her eyes watering as the wind grew stronger around us. I knew it was cold but I couldn't feel a damn thing. The electricity between us was enough to keep me warm.

“And oh my God, I can’t imagine life without you and the thought of it actually scares the shit out of me so please, even though I’m remarkably late, please don’t marry him. Don’t go to London. Choose me. I’ll make up for it, I promise! I’ll spend the rest of my life making amends to you. I’ve never been this honest before, and not only do I need you to believe every single word I just said but also pay close attention to the following three: I love you, Y/N"

Y/N's tears streamed down her face as if they were a river previously prevented from its natural course. She didn't say anything. She simply lifted the back of her hand to her nose and looked away in embarrassment, squeezing her eyes shut, wishing very badly to stop the river from flowing any longer.

“You’re my choice. My only choice” I confessed once she opened her eyes again and faced me.

“Is everything okay, Y/N?” a male voice interjected, making the both of us snap out of our own little world.

What the fuck is he doing here? This cannot be happening. No, no, no!

Y/N got startled when she heard Eric's voice and quickly wiped away her tears without turning around. I, on the other hand, remained in complete shock and didn’t move a muscle.

“Yes!” she sniffed and fixed her hair, trying to regain a little composure, “Mr. Kim was just telling me something important”

Eric walked out and stopped by Y/N side, “Oh! Then would you like to come inside for a cup of tea, Mr. Kim?”

My eyes were certainly already red from before and started to burn even more now watching this scene. I’m confident that the tear stains were still visible on my face and, even though the street light was not the best, Eric had to be blind not to see it.

This is my karma. Having another man put his arm around the woman I love and comfort her when I should be the one doing it instead of being the asshole who put her in that position in the first place. 

It's time for me to accept defeat. At least I tried.

“No no, it’s fine. I said everything I needed to say. You guys have a good night, alright?” I bowed.

“Thank you, drive safe!” Eric said, bowing back.

“I almost forgot” I looked back at both of them and tried to smile,

“Congratulations on your engagement!” and then focused my attention on Y/N, not caring at all if Eric would notice it, “Be happy”

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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ A/N²: in this chapter i wanted to express the feeling that we all have when something big and exciting is about to happen and you can't seem to concentrate properly until it does. to me, it feels like there are only fragments of conversations, actions or thoughts being registered into the brain, you know?

you don't pay much attention to the world around you so it's like flashes & there isn't much coherence to them because in the back of your mind the focus is 'the thing' it's about to happen. in tae's case, it's confessing his love for y/n.

hopefully my attempt to demonstrate that came off as natural instead of confusing. thanks for reading <3

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱 ❤ 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗹𝘆 𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝘀𝗸! 𝗶 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ revised version: 09.25.2021

10. what do you see? (final) | reliability • kth

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pairing: taehyung x reader word count: 5.662 genre: drama, angst rating: pg-15 warnings: cursing, kissing, implied mental health struggles, brief description of panic attack au: ceo/office trope: enemies to friends to lovers tags: ceo!taehyung, office!au, best friend!yoongi, unresolved emotional tension, mutual pining, slow burn crosspost: ao3

summary: all good things must come to an end so that better ones can begin. until then, taehyung is forced to deal with the aftermath of y/n’s choice

A/N: i'm a tad emotional to finally share the last chapter of this special story. full note at the end :)

shout-out to my wonderful beta indigo (@playmetheclassics). thanks to you i'm wrapping this up the way i always dreamed of: with fluidity emotion and good dialogues. i appreciated all of your suggestions <3

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Walking back to Yoon Gi’s car, I felt the cold wind on my back as it passed through the thin layer of my suit and made my teeth chatter. My hands were cold as ice and all the heat that consumed me minutes ago disappeared the second I heard Eric’s voice. Now I had this strange sensation on my face as if my skin was tight. I think it’s the dried-up tears.

“Drive” I said as soon as I got in the back seat, startling Yoon Gi.

“What happened?” he locked his phone and faced me.

Something felt off. I had butterflies in my stomach, but not the good kind. I felt nauseous, consumed with shame, and my chest was aching. It felt as if there wasn’t enough air in the room and I couldn’t breathe, I wanted to take a deep breath and I couldn’t.

“Just drive, please” I mumbled quickly, doing my best not to pass out or throw up because I didn’t know which one would happen first.

Yoon Gi understood and firmly said to his driver, “Dong Hyun, go!”

I thought the car moving would help calm me down, but it didn’t. I thought physically distancing myself from Y/N would help, but it didn’t. Instead, distancing myself from Y/N caused me a sense of panic that I had never experienced before. To the point where I started to sob uncontrollably, on the verge of hyperventilation. My head screamed control yourself, but my heart screamed something way louder, and it didn’t let me hear anything else. A wave of anger suddenly took over me, and I started kicking the front seat, scaring Yoon Gi. He never saw me like this, and I never felt like this either.

“Tae, breathe” he stroked my arm a few times.

What is happening? Why is my tie so tight? Stupid hands won’t obey me.

“I can’t” I cried out, as I struggled to take the tie off and open the window at the same time.

“Slow down” Yoon Gi said, loosening the tie for me.

“Hey, hey… look at me!”

I met Yoon Gi’s serene and commanding eyes. He was determined to de-escalate the situation, and I realized by how calm he was that he had done this before.

“Deep breath” he guided me gently as I did what he said, “Nice, that’s better. Keep going”

I felt better, yet the pain in my chest remained.

Fuck. This is horrible! Is this why they called it a heartbreak?

“Dong Hyun” he tapped the driver’s shoulder, “take us to Tae Hyung’s house, please”

“Yes, sir” he responded, stepping on the gas pedal.

The drive to my house was silent. With my tie loose, the window open, and Yoon Gi checking in now and then, I began to calm down as the minutes went by.

I felt utterly empty. My despair was gone, making room for sadness. The image of Y/N crying and Eric showing up played in my mind constantly in slow motion. The way she pulled herself together when she heard his voice as if what we were doing was forbidden hurt me.

Honestly, I don’t know what I was expecting from her. She is engaged. Of course, she would choose him. She repeatedly said that she needed time for herself, wanted to make her own choices, and look at me, Mr Trying To Intervene Again; every time I try to fix a situation, it just gets worse.

But I don’t regret it.

I had to tell her.

Maybe it was a little selfish and pretentious of me to think that with a confession, she would magically accept me, and things would be back to normal but I had to try. What was my other option?

Complain about it for the rest of my life? Wonder every day what could have been? No thanks, I had been doing it for a month, and it was miserable enough.

“We’re here” Yoon Gi’s soft voice dragged my attention back to planet earth.

I get out of the car feeling heavy. I don’t have the strength to walk. If I could, I would lie right here in the street and stay. Next to me, Yoon Gi bends down to speak to Dong Hyun through the passenger window.

“I’ll stay with him. Take the day off tomorrow. Thanks!” he tapped the roof twice and turned to me.

“Where are your keys?”

My eyelids were already closing on their own. All I could do was reach for the keys inside my jacket and give it to Yoon Gi without saying a single word.

“Let’s get you inside, come on.”

With each step, my body gave more signals that it would shut down at any second. I couldn’t say whether it was an automatic response to trauma, the alcohol losing its effect, me just being exceedingly tired, or the combination of all three. What I was optimistic about was that I needed to lie down. So I went into the house, taking off one piece of clothing at a time, starting with my shoes at the entrance, until I reached the bathroom and closed the door.

I didn’t notice Yoon Gi coming right behind me, just his voice through the door when I slid against it towards the floor, “I’ll be right outside if you need me, just don’t lock the door, okay?” I nodded, feeling the cold tile floor below me.

I don’t know how much time passed before I could muster enough strength to get up, go to the shower and turn it on. Once I did it, I removed the last pieces of clothing still on me and went under the jet of water, feeling my skin burn from the temperature.

“You love to exaggerate things, don’t you?”

“Honey, this is your opportunity to differentiate yourself from your father”

“Bold?”

“Yes, you are not scared to take a risk”

“You and I have more in common than you think”

“You poor thing. No, you won’t. She won’t come back. I’m sorry to be the one to break it down for you, but she’s ‘the one that got away”

“Just remember to speak from the heart”

“I wanted to be your friend, wasn’t it obvious?”

“You never bothered to get to know me”

“For the first time in a long time, this is something I chose for myself. Not for you, not for my family, not for anybody”

“You think I wanted to walk away from this? From you? I had to”

“Please don’t marry him. Don’t go to London. Choose me”

“I love you, Y/N”

Crying so much made me dehydrated. I must have spent almost an hour in the shower, brooding over different moments, possibilities and words. I already felt more relaxed and ready to sleep, but I decided to go to the kitchen and grab something to drink before doing so.

“What’s this?” I asked once I saw my dinner table full of food.

Yoon Gi smirked, “I’m hungry, and I thought you would be too”

“Thank you” I sat down.

“Don’t mention it” he handed me the chopsticks.

Yoon Gi was an excellent cook. Everything was delicious. His mother used to be a famous chef before getting married, and he visibly learned a lot from her and inherited the natural gift of making people feel loved through food.

“I did it” I finally spoke, eating a piece of tteokbokki.

“Did what?”

“Told her how I felt” I placed a piece of meat on Yoon Gi’s plate.

“I’m proud of you” he smiled and ate it.

I wrinkled my nose, “Why?”

“Being vulnerable takes courage and actual physical strength. Not many people talk about the effort you have to make to verbalize the words. It can hurt”

I recognised the truth in what Yoon Gi just said. Still, I don’t get why things had to happen the way they did.

“And all for what? For fucking nothing!”

“What happened?” he cautiously asked.

Saying what had happened out loud made the situation real, and I couldn’t help it when some tears escaped. I dried them quickly and tried to explain as rationally as possible.

“I confessed, she cried, I cried, the fianceé showed up, and she chose him”

“No” he said with his mouth full.

“Yes” I replied, playing with the food on my plate.

“Are you sure?”

“What do you mean? Of course, I’m sure. It’s done. We’re done”

“What did she say?” Yoon Gi took a sip of water.

“Nothing” I shrugged, “Eric appeared, and the moment was gone”

“Damn”

“I don’t think she was going to say anything. I mean, she couldn’t. She was crying. Hard. I’ve never seen her like that before”

“Isn’t that a good sign?” he asked, waving his chopsticks.

“Me making her cry?”

“Maybe it was a good type of cry, you know?” he slurped some of his ramen, “She was touched by what you said”

“I guess we’ll never know” I got up and put my plate in the sink, “Thank you for the meal. You don’t have to stay. Sorry to drag you into this. Good night”

While I said it in a monotonic and practically robotic way, deep down, I was overwhelmingly grateful that my best friend was by my side today. I hate being a burden to him, and that’s why I made it a point to say he could go. He saw enough. However, being the great guy he is, Yoon Gi stayed the whole night and knocked on my door early the next day.

“Tae, I’m leaving”, he paused, “It’s almost 7. You have to get up for work”

I was already awake and just hummed.

“I’ll text you later”

I heard his footsteps moving away and thought to myself how stupid I must look right now because how come a grown man can be lying in bed feeling sorry for himself when he had a multimillion company to run? I’m young but not that young. I don’t have any excuses for acting like a teenager, and God, do I feel like a teenager when it comes to Y/N. I had a couple of girlfriends before, but nothing compares. This is intense, warm, and also hurts like a bitch.

My pride is wounded. I thought I could make her stay. Was it crazy for me to believe that was even a possibility? I thought we could be something. Did I take too long? What is “too long”? Does it mean Eric beat me to it? It feels like that, but I know it’s not. Maybe she decided to try things with him because I never showed interest, I don’t know. Am I being too conceited? All I know is that now that the truth is out there in the open, I feel ten times worse. She didn’t precisely reject me, but she didn’t accept me either. I don’t know if I should be happy that she was so emotional over what I said.

I won’t take it back. I feel for her is real and won’t go away that easily.

I have never been heartbroken before, so I don’t know how to move on.

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******

6 weeks later

To say it was easy would be a lie on my part, but it was not as difficult as I thought it would be. My goal wasn’t to forget Y/N, instead to live one day at a time, trying not to overthink the things that happened and the fact that I couldn’t change them. I had two choices: torture myself for everything I did wrong or focus my energy on something more productive, like work or the relationship with my father.

Although far from ideal, I started spending more time with him to absorb any tips or lessons he could pass on to me about the company. Believe it or not, he simply placed the company in my hands and walked away. There was no transition phase where he taught me the day to day. I just showed up and learned over time.

Ironically, I am in a similar situation. Nobody explained what it is like to have your first heartbreak, so I just live and learn as I go.

My mother has been torn ever since I told everything that happened with Y/N — it was honestly way harder trying to hide than to tell the truth — because even though she wanted us to be together, the fact that we weren’t made it possible for me to see my father more often, so she was happy to see me around the house and watch the bond between the two of us get stronger.

A month or so ago, I finally gathered the courage to tell my dad that Y/N had left Vante and moved to London to study. He reacted better than I expected. However, he still criticized how I ‘should have predicted something like that and provided better opportunities for her’.

In the weeks leading up to the wedding, I kept my mind busy with some best man duties. My brother asked for a simple bachelor party, which was enough of a distraction not to think about my pain, and last Saturday, both of us, plus two of our cousins ​​and three college friends of his, went to a nice cottage in Chuncheon.

Ye Jun’s definition of fun was the following: a luxurious place close to nature, lots of drinking and good food. Cell phones on airplane mode.

Pretty reasonable in my book, so I ensured we were all set for a fun, relaxing weekend. By Monday morning, I felt the old Taehyung slip through the cracks of what it was once a heart. Maybe that meant I survived. Perhaps it wasn’t that bad after all.

Today, standing in front of him while fixing his tie, I find myself pondering how life doesn’t stop or wait for anyone. Time is everything. And that’s kind of the beauty of it. To heal our hearts and feelings to find closure takes time. There is no other way to put things into perspective.

“You look almost as handsome as me” I say to Ye Jun, making him instantly roll his eyes, “Hey” I give him a nudge, “You know how much I look up to you, right?”

“Tae...” he looks down, all red in the face.

“It’s true” I smile, playfully shaking him by the shoulder, “I don’t say it that often but I hope you know I mean it”

He looks up and cups one side of my face, “Thanks!”

“Are you nervous?” I ask, moving sideways so he can check the mirror.

“Not really” he replies, making a few poses and inspecting his outfit from head to toe.

“There’s a lot of people out here”

“There’s nothing to be nervous about”

“You’re committing yourself to another person for the rest of your life” I cross my arms and look at him through the reflective surface, “You’re signing a document. A binding contract”

“That’s romantic of you to notice” he gives me a thumbs-up, and I burst out laughing. He was so dorky. Ye Jun knew how to be funny sometimes.

“I’m not nervous because I want this” he explained.

“Hopefully, one day, you will want it just as much, and I’ll be right by your side saying the same contract thingy”

“We’ll see about that” I flashed a quick smile, trying to change the subject, “Now, let’s get you married!”

Once we stepped out into the garden, all eyes were on us. The sun was shining, not a cloud in the sky, a light breeze, and just the perfect temperature set the scene for this special day. I was so proud to be with Ye Jun that I couldn’t contain my genuine smile as soon as we walked down the Aston House’s stairs. The place had a stunning view of the Hangang River, and my mom did a fantastic job scouting the venue.

We passed by all our family and close friends, greeted them with smiles and nods, and took our positions at the altar, waiting for Hyun Jae’s grand entrance. When it finally happened, everyone turned to her. On the other hand, I turned to Ye Jun, who was completely mesmerized. He always had that in love look, but ten times more. And I don’t blame him, because the second I glanced over to her, I was sure that a princess was coming towards us. Hyun Jae was the personification of delicacy.

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******

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After the religious ceremony, the couple’s grand entrance at the party, and their special dance, the DJ turned the music down and handed me the mic.

“Hi everyone, if I may have your attention please” I began, “My name is Kim Tae Hyung, brother of the groom and also his best man. I would like to say a few words to the couple”

The entire room went dead silent, and, for a brief moment, the sudden attention became unsettling to me. Putting on my best CEO attitude, I continued.

“Not long ago, I discovered what it was like to truly love someone. On the other hand, Ye Jun knew that for a while and always told me how special and meaningful his connection to Hyun Jae was. Today I can confidently say I understand every single word he meant”

I remember when he first told me he was in love with her. He spent almost 10 minutes explaining how amazing their date went, the clever things she said, and how much he missed her whenever she wasn’t around. I thought he was crazy. I did. I was sure he was exaggerating. It didn’t make sense to me how another human could be that likeable. Skip to a few years later, and here I was, reminiscing about Y/N, how she was the coolest, most intelligent person and how much I missed her.

“Being here today celebrating two people I deeply care about is an honor, and I’m sure you all feel the same, so please let’s raise our glasses to Ye Jun and Hyun Jae. May they…”

And that’s when I saw her. Sitting in the back, the third table from the left, looking prettier than ever with her hair tied in a bun and an off-the-shoulder silver dress. She caught my breath, and I had to clear my throat to keep going with the speech.

“May they… uh… always celebrate together the happy moments, rely on each other when things get tough, find forgiveness in their hearts when they feel they have been wronged, and above all, trust that their love is strong enough to heal, overcome and protect. No matter what happens. Cheers!”

With the glass raised in front of me, my gaze met Y/N’s across the room, and I could feel that she understood the message when her hand tipped the drink further in agreement. The toast ended up revealing much more about the two of us than about the bride and groom, which took me by surprise because I hadn’t planned on speaking so honestly, especially if I knew that she would be there listening.

A few minutes later, while I absently contemplated the buildings across the river from underneath the garden’s wooden gazebo, wondering what Y/N could be doing here, she carefully approached me.

“Great speech”

“Thanks” I looked over my shoulder, then back to the river, “Weren’t you supposed to be in London?”

“I was. Flew in last night” she paused, stepping out from behind me, “Can we find a quiet place to talk?”

“Sure” I agreed, following her inside the hotel for a little more privacy.

Once we stopped in front of a large glass window with the Gwangjin Bridge in the background, we could see the sun already setting as the sky mixed different shades of blue and purple with orange clouds. The light was coming in reflected on Y/N’s dress, and I’m positive she has never looked so beautiful.

“Wow, that’s what I call a view” Y/N eyes went wide.

My gaze shifted from her to the window, “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

Trying to keep the conversation light as if the last few weeks hadn’t been overwhelming was my biggest challenge right now. Thank God Y/N didn’t take long to take the lead.

“I need to start by apologizing to you”

“No, you don’t have to, it’s fine” I reached my hand forward, “I was out of line to show up at your house like that”

Y/N sighed, “You weren’t”

“Oh?”

“Your timing kinda sucked,” she chuckled, “but you said everything I dreamed of and then some”

Everything I dreamed of? This woman knows how to make a man speechless.

“I’ve been pretending for a long time” she turned to me, “I lied to myself, saying that my feelings weren’t valid, that I could not have fallen for my boss, and that you would never see me the same way”

She paused for a second, eyes staring into mine, making sure I was listening to all of it—my turn to step forward, more attentive than ever.

“In my head, you would never notice how I wanted to be noticed, even though the chemistry was there” Y/N looked at her feet for a second, “To be honest, there were times when I thought I was crazy because I was sure you felt the same, but…” she looked up at me, “next thing I knew, you went and did something that sent the complete opposite signal and I—”

I already felt terrible about everything, yet hearing Y/N confess her feelings so honestly filled my chest with a renewed sense of guilt. She fell for me.

Me.

“I’m so sorry” I whispered.

“When you questioned your trust in me, I felt my world collapse. You are the person I admire the most, trust and care for the most, and hearing those words made me think that we didn’t have the relationship I thought we had. I felt like it was all a lie”

The last sentence made her emotional, and I could spot tears forming in the corner of her eyes.

“We were never friends, I know…but through work, we created a bond, this sort of mutual respect, and once I realized the decision I made was what caused a side of you that I never wanted to know existed to come out, it hurt me” one single tear broke free. I immediately swiped it away before she kept going, “My pride was wounded, but soon after, I felt liberated. I suddenly understood that ultimately it was all a fantasy. You and I would never happen, and I needed to do my own thing”

Y/N smiled and recomposed herself while I took a step back to give her some proper space.

“So… I took some time to think about what the next phase of my life would be like and what I wanted to do, which ended up being to enroll in another course in London” she explained, fixing her makeup.

“To my surprise, Eric was responsible for admissions, we reconnected, and I felt that that was a sign from the universe for me to give a 360 in my life. A new course, a new city, new people. Until, of course, you showed up at my house” she poked my chest playfully.

Seeing Y/N go from serious to cautious, then vulnerable to funny in such a short time left me relatively shocked. I did not expect to hear her side of things like that. I wasn’t prepared for this conversation — not today of all days — and I must say that the Tae Hyung of 6 weeks ago wouldn’t be able to hold it together like I am doing now.

“But you were already engaged” I pointed out, attempting to display some humor in my voice.

Y/N made a ‘duh’ face, “Yes, but not married”

“Yoon Gi said the same thing!!” I shouted, making her laugh out loud.

My God, I missed her laugh.

“You two are close, huh?” she added, more like observation and not a question.

“Yeah, well, anyway, you went to London, you got married….”

“Who said I’m married?” she interrupted, “I don’t see a ring on this finger”, and pointed to her left hand.

“W-what? Wait…” I grabbed her hand as I’d never seen one before in my life.

She laughs again, and I can’t help but laugh with her, only this time nervously because I don’t know what’s going on right now. I’m getting this tiny bit of hope inside my chest, and I’m scared it will be taken away, so I refuse to believe it.

“Even though I went to London, I couldn’t stop thinking about what you said. I kept replaying it thousands and thousands of times in my head. Before bed, during classes, cleaning the house…”

It’s happening. She’s giving me hope, isn’t she?

“What about Eric?” I gently let go of her hand.

“That was another hard conversation I had to have” Y/N pinched her lips.

Yep. This is it.

“You’re telling me you’re not with him anymore?”

Every fiber of my body was vibrating, and the seconds that followed my question were incredibly long. I hadn’t allowed myself to think about this whole thing again, much less believe in the idea that Y/N and I could be something for real. However, I should’ve known she would surprise me. She always does.

“No, I’m not” she beams at me like a kid telling a secret. It’s like she can help herself. And I can’t help either — happiness is infectious.

“Plus, a little birdie told me that you needed a date for this wedding, so I’m here doing a favor” Y/N shrugged.

My mother had many talents. One of them is bringing people together. She always made sure to do everything for our family, and this time was no different. It means a lot that she intervened. Without this opportunity, I wouldn’t have a new chance at love.

“A favor?” I quirked an eyebrow.

“Oh yeah,” Y/N nodded, “I was promised free booze too, by the way”

I can’t help but find the idea of my mom and Y/N negotiating extremely funny, “I’m serious, Y/N. What does this mean?”

Before she could say anything, I decided to be just as honest and vulnerable, committing myself to her and the possibility of an ‘us’.

“You know what I see?” I moved closer, “I see a future”

“For us?” she tilted her head, intrigued.

“Yes,” I sighed and chuckled at the same time, relieved that we were finally on the same page, “One where I support you, where you don’t have to make choices for anybody else but yourself. A place full of trust”

“What else?” she asked, genuinely curious, analyzing every inch of my face.

“I see us being happy, never fighting and baking. Do you bake by any chance?”

“Uh, I bake, yes,” the question took her by surprise and earned me a giggle, “but I don’t know about the fighting part. You can be very annoying”

“I’ll do better. I’ll do better!”

“Keep going,” she moved closer to me, “I like your plans so far”

“No, tell me what you see. I wanna know” I said, placing my hands in my pockets.

“Huh…” Y/N took a second to think, “I see myself finishing my studies, then traveling for a couple of months, then coming back to Korea and starting my consulting firm”

“Amazing! What else?”

“I see this handsome guy waiting for me at the airport with balloons and a big smile,” she said, shifting from one foot to the other, “then taking me to a proper date where he will tell me everything he’s been up to with as much detail as possible and that will be our day one”

She looks so cute when she’s nervous.

“I didn’t know you were a romantic person”

“See?” Y/N smirked, “There’s a lot about me you have yet to learn”

“I can’t wait”

I deeply meant it because this was a chance I didn’t expect to have and to hear from her lips that it would be possible floored me. Here she was, in front of me, willing to and very much available, feeling the same way I did. It felt like a dream.

“What? Do I have something on my face?” she rubbed her right cheek.

“No, it’s just that I wanna kiss you so bad right now” I wet my bottom lip.

Y/N blushed, “You do?”

“Yeah”, I nodded, approaching her slowly, moving a strand of hair away from her face and caressing her cheekbone with my finger. “There’s something about your lips that is just fascinating to me” I then brushed my thumb across her bottom lip while pulling her by the waist very gently.

“Interesting” she gazes between my eyes and my mouth, hand coming up to my nape and stroking lightly with her nails.

I move in closer, cupping her face, our lips almost touching, “I’ve been wondering what they taste like”

“Why don’t you find out?” she looks up at me with the most gorgeous and mischievous expression in her eyes.

And just like that, I closed the space between us to meet the softest lips ever, tasting an unusual combination of green apple and vanilla. I’m instantly addicted, and I think Y/N is too because she took the initiative to separate her lips in search of mine through delicate and cautious movements. As she was discovering me, I felt my insides melt. I knew she was testing the waters, wanting more, so I tilted my head and deepened the kiss. My heart was racing like crazy. The way we clicked was just surreal. It just...made sense. The more we kissed, the more sure I was she was the one for me.

As we slowed down, I softly pulled her upper lip, then her bottom lip, and left sweet pecks while tugging her hair behind her ear with both of my hands.

“I’m so happy” I pressed my forehead against hers.

“Me too” she takes a deep breath, placing her hands over mine, eyes closed.

We stood like this for a few seconds, totally lost in our little world, like it was only the two of us in the party, feeling as though time had stopped as we held each other. And as badly as I wanted to stay here longer, we needed to talk about what would happen next, so I addressed the elephant in the room.

“So, when is your flight back?”

“Tomorrow” she lamented.

I pouted and kissed her hand, “Already?”

“Yeah. But I’ll be back!”

“How long?”

“A year” she revealed.

“A year???” I whined, “No, no, no, I won’t survive!”

“Always so dramatic” Y/N laughed and hugged me, “You will be fine”

“You are right. Doing the math real quick, 365 days seems like a fair amount of time to plan the perfect date”

“Whatever keeps your mind occupied, Mr Kim” Y/N’s arms rested on my shoulder.

“Mr Kim, huh?” my hands intertwined on her lower back, “You don’t work for me anymore, remember?”

She quickly pecked my lips, “I know”

“Okay, is this happening?” I looked around to make sure I wasn’t going to suddenly wake up in my bed again, cursing my head for conjuring another perfect dream.

All Y/N apparently could do was smile and nod. It was as if she had slept with a hanger in her mouth. The joy oozed from her body, and I wanted to remember this feeling forever. And kiss her forever too, so that’s what I did again and again after that.

“Right” I try to regain focus, “We’ll make it work. You can come once a month. I can go once a month… we’ll figure something out”

“You mean that?” she grabbed my hand.

“Of course, Y/N. There’s a world out there for you to conquer. I don’t wanna hold you back”

She gave me a squeeze to show she understood my feelings. I knew she was thankful too. She didn’t have to say anything. I could see it in the way she held my hand, looked into my eyes and kissed me. She was in this as much as I was.

It was crazy to think that a few months ago, things were completely different. Even crazier that I woke up today with no idea what was coming next or how my life would change. Man, that’s the real power of choices.

“Let’s go” she said, leading me back to the garden and poetically into a new life.

After so many mismatches, ups and downs, I found that trusting someone depended on me a lot more than anything else. I had to be confident enough to expose my fears and desires without expecting anything in return. So I faced my insecurities and dove headfirst into this strange and scary feeling of love, choosing Y/N with the hope that she would pick me too. She accepted my flaws and wants to see where this goes. It took her a bit, but here we are.

Our story could have been a lot different, but I wouldn’t change anything because, in the end, I learned so much. No, wait, probably just the part where I take years to realize my feelings and all the signals this gorgeous woman was sending. That would save me some time and a ton of tears, for sure.

In all honesty, I can’t say I’m an entirely changed man yet. I don’t know if I ever will be. The only thing I’m sure of is that I’m willing to try my best for her. Because she deserves it, she earned it, and it’s perfectly okay to rely on someone.

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A/N²: this wasn't the first fanfic i wrote but it was the first one i showed anybody (my best friends) and the also first one i shared with the world, so it will always be one of my favorites. maybe because of that, i put pressure on myself to reach a level of excellence and perfection completely unrealistic for a girl who had never written before, let alone in a different language.

i liked the first chapter a lot, the second one as well, and since the story was drawn perfectly in my head, i thought it would be easy to execute and put into words everything i had imagined, but it wasn't. i faced many challenges along the way and thought about giving up a lot. the low post engagement also helped with me thinking i wasn't good enough to publish stories. honestly, my mistake was attempting to build the perfect blog. i spent so much time structuring a posting schedule, trying to stay active, writing a little bit every day, following the right people, affiliating with known networks, and so many other tips that i read in hours of research. all for nothing bc i became more and more unhappy.

with this unhappiness came a new author's block and after struggling a lot i managed to finish chapter 09 and post it. this happened in march/2021, now it's jan/2022. i don't know if anyone who is reading this now, in fact, waited ten months to read what happens next but if so: i'm deeply sorry. it was never my intention to take a year to publish such a short story.

regardless, i hope that whoever got this far enjoyed it, had fun, laughed, cried, and allowed themselves to be transported to a new reality. my only wish is that my stories help people overcome a bad day, a bad week, a bad month; to feel happier, more loved, more connected. deep down, that's what we are: connected by the love for bts. 

thanks for reading, thanks for liking, for sharing, commenting or simply taking some time out of your day to experience a world that only exists in my head.

until the next story, xx bella

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𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱 ❤ 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗹𝘆 𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝘀𝗸! 𝗶 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆