05. Once Upon A Time | Reliability Kth

05. once upon a time | reliability • kth

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pairing: taehyung x reader word count: 3.184 genre: drama, light angst rating: pg-13 warnings: cursing au: ceo/office trope: enemies to friends to lovers tags: ceo!taehyung, office!au, best friend!yoongi, unresolved emotional tension, mutual pining, slow burn crosspost: ao3

summary: experience all the events so far through Y/N’s perspective

A/N: i'm so so so happy with the positive feedback on this story. thank you to every single one of you who leave a like, reblog it, and takes the time to reply to the post. pls know that i see everything! i hope you will continue to share your thoughts with me, i love reading them. my inbox is always open too, even to anons <3

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YOUR POV

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I was exhausted.

Tired of pretending.

As much as I told myself that I was fine, that things were going to happen, it was all a lie. They weren't. I waited patiently for years and whenever I thought it was finally going to happen, I was disappointed.

Tae Hyung is a difficult and complex man, and I had no idea of ​​that in college. My first impression of him did not match the first interaction, which also did not match the reality of our daily lives as classmates in an elective class we took together.

I remember thinking that he was the cutest guy I had seen wearing a gray sweatshirt. His eyes were lightly covered by his wavy black hair and his lips were a really beautiful pink shade, very kissable. However, the first time we spoke it he was the one to initiate and it was to complain about something that I asked the teacher. From that day on he sent mixed signals. There were days when he insisted on questioning anything I said or did while on others he smiled sweetly, reminding me of the first time I saw him.

The way he treated me started to get annoying and I made sure to draw the line on the possibility of even becoming friends. He didn't seem to need friends anyway. I once saw him in the pub on the outskirts of campus where students would often go, and he was a completely different person. Full of life, the center of attention and surrounded by girls too. It looked like he was really alive when he had an audience. The type of person who charms everyone with charisma, good humor, and appearance. Typical rich boy behavior. Very rich I should say. The type of rich you don't see anymore. Old money. Generations of power. It was obvious that he had no idea what it was like to work to achieve something. Everything fell at his feet when he wanted and how he wanted.

Although his indifference bothered me to some extent, I had to agree that he was a great student. He got high grades, argued his opinion like nobody else, and loved to start a controversy just to amuse the group and gain morale with the teachers. Tae Hyung was a born leader.

In senior year I was already used to his personality and developed a way to deal with it whenever we interacted (which wasn’t that often, to begin with). Equal to equal. I would be a mirror. The way he treated me, I would treat him back, simple as that.

There were days when I felt that he was letting his guard down and showing himself to be just a boy uncertain about the future, somewhat vulnerable, and I even tried to talk a little bit about but he didn't seem very interested in letting other people really get to know him. It was like he was hiding something. The walls went up in seconds and I found myself, again, amid sarcastic remarks. Humor as a defense mechanism, I get it.

Our third and final project together was actually a debate open to the public. We were on opposite sides, of course. I don't remember exactly what topic we discussed, but he was in favor and I was against it. He was visibly lost, stuttering, and I took advantage of it.

After I won the debate and the whole audience got up on their feet to applaud, I finally felt like I was good enough. Good enough to be in a renowned college, good enough for my parents to be proud of me, and good enough to secure a great job; a job where I could make a difference, get a lot of money and help my family. I felt the center of attention for the first time and honestly, nothing could compare. I even remember thinking while bowing and thanking everyone ‘Oh, so this is how Tae Hyung feels all the time’, which totally makes sense. I immediately understood why he was so incredibly oblivious to the world around him and especially to those below him.

Right after graduation, I went straight to London to get an MBA, and occasionally stalked my former college colleagues' LinkedIn to find out what they were up to, where they were working, that kind of stuff. Tae Hyung’s profile, however, hadn’t much public information available. From the photo I could see that he was still the same, the only difference was that he now wore a suit. His position within the Vante was not specified and I tried to imagine whether he actually did anything there or if he simply spent his father's money as a bon vivant.

In my first month back in Korea, I received an email from Vante Enterprises asking me about my interest in an interview for a high position, totally confidential. I thought it was kind of weird because I didn't recall sending my resume over, like ever, and I very much doubt that Tae Hyung's father, then CEO, knew who I was.

And it was a good thing that he didn't because I wasn't going to work for him.

Kim Jin-ho was a very traditional tycoon and, precisely for that reason, he led Vante in an equally archaic way. And, because they were that way, I had one foot in and one foot out about the interview. I wasn't comfortable with the way these older folks did business. Back in college, I was an intern in a similar company and I saw a lot of shady stuff. I couldn't (and wouldn't) jeopardize everything I worked so hard for just for a position there. I needed to be strategic about my future, even though I was 100% aware that having Vante Enterprises on my resume would open a lot of doors.

When I finished reading the email, I googled if Tae Hyung's family was still in charge or not. I found some articles talking about recent deals, acquisitions that went well, projections for the following year, but nothing that confirmed that Tae Hyung's father was still the CEO. That was when, on a social note inside a virtual magazine, almost near the foot of the page, I saw the phrase ‘Kim Jin-ho celebrating his 60th birthday and 2,000 deals while preparing for retirement next summer’ next to a photo of Mr. Kim cutting a cake.

I paused for a moment, reflecting on the possibility of Tae Hyung taking over after his father: it was possible but a bit strange if he did. My only connection to the company was him, so if they were after me for an interview, it was because Tae Hyung appointed me, and that left me confused because I couldn't understand exactly why he did it. He didn't even like me! He literally criticized everything I did.

Or maybe…

I was good enough.

That’s it!

Right then I had a eureka moment where I realized that all the efforts I had made so far were paying off. The universe was giving back due to my hard work. I had become an acquisition specialist and both my internship and my job in London could attest to that. These two companies were monumental in helping me to understand both domestic and international markets and trained me beyond the goals I had set during college.

I was certainly worthy and should act accordingly, entering Vante with my head held high and boosting confidence. Since the position was obviously important enough for them to keep it confidential, I would have to behave as if I already got the job.

And that's what I did.

I marched into the building feeling on edge but hoping that either Tae Hyung or Ye Jun would conduct the interview. If I came face to face with their father, I would be extremely disappointed, but I wouldn't show it, of course.

As the elevator went up I remember mentally repeating my favorite affirmations, rethinking my best academic moments, visualizing my professional goals coming true, and quietly praying that everything would work out so I could have a job in Korea near my family.

When I left for London it was very hard on my parents, and on me too, although they both rooted for me unconditionally. I got a scholarship for my MBA and they gave me all of their savings so that I could support myself in the new country until I found a job. Fortunately, it didn't take long. 6 months later I had already stopped using the savings and began paying them back.

As soon as I entered the lobby I was amazed at how grandiose it was and felt a sense of belonging. Very weird! And that was exactly what fueled me to walk into the CEO office determined to win the position.

I knocked on the door three times after the secretary authorized me to go in, opening it slowly and finding the person I most wanted to see: him. His hair was still fluffy, wavy, and probably soft. When he gave me a smile and said, ‘Hello, Y/N. Long time no see!’ I was forced to hold a laugh for two simple reasons:

1. His attitude hadn't changed at all. He continued with an air of superiority disguised in good manners.

2. He had orchestrated all of this. If he hadn’t then he would look more surprised to see me. Taehyung didn't seem surprised at all, actually.

The meeting did not last very long and I left satisfied in less than 10 minutes. I certainly made a strong impression on Tae Hyung, because the next day he called me to make things official. I started the following Monday.

From that day on I embarked on a great adventure that taught me a lot about myself and the power of resilience. Working at Vante Enterprises was everything I expected it to be and Tae Hyung was an excellent leader, I'll give him that. He allowed me a lot of freedom, not only because the position I held required it, but also because I saw that he trusted me more and more each month.

That trust did not come overnight though! I worked hard to earn it. Just as I know he worked hard to earn mine too. I can't say we became proper friends, however, we did develop an unspoken bond and mutual respect where we just had to look at each other to know what the other thought about a certain situation.

However, this bond turned out to be useless when I made the biggest mistake of my career. Yes, I am talking about the purchase of the Min Industries shares, the ones that put me in this goddamn mess in the first place.

I vaguely remember Tae Hyung telling me about the deal he had with Yoon Gi one of the nights we worked overtime at the office, but not the details. In fact, on second thought, I'm sure he never told me anything. I would have remembered!

When the purchase opportunity came up I did a very detailed research for almost 3 months and I didn't find a single link that could harm Vante. I met with different shareholders of our company, then with our lawyers and finally with the interested parties. It was an incredible opportunity and I made the decision to take a risk without communicating to Tae Hyung. I had never consulted him before, so I wouldn’t start now, right? Well, that was my thought, and what a wrong thought it was. If I could go back in time, I would.

At the emergency meeting when I heard him say that Vante was undergoing devaluation thanks to my decision, my heart stopped for a few seconds, the air escaped from my lungs and I started to freak out internally, looking for all possible mistakes that I could have committed. The louder his voice got, the more embarrassed I became and wanted to shout back explaining that I had done nothing wrong, that the purchase was legitimate and that there was no reason for devaluation. I was being humiliated for simply doing my job. The audacity of this guy!

I took a deep breath, stood up, projected my notes, explained everything in as much detail as possible, and found comfort in knowing that I had done everything right. There were no mistakes. I don't make mistakes. Well, that wasn’t true anymore I guess.

When everyone left the room and Tae Hyung and I were alone, I confronted him asking how he loves to exaggerate things. To my not-so-great surprise, he called me irresponsible. Okay, he didn't exactly use that word, but he did tell me something about not knowing how to follow rules and who doesn't follow rules is either irresponsible or stupid. I looked at him feeling a little hurt because I knew he knew me better than that — I was the complete opposite of irresponsible. Instead, I replied that I loved my job and that he paid me well for it, which is true, after all, I am very good at what I do and it gives me immense satisfaction when I manage to improve people's lives with my acquisitions, even if indirectly.

Tae Hyung got distracted for a few seconds so I took the papers he was holding. As soon as I quickly scanned the content, my argument fell apart and all the confidence I had in my work immediately left my body. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Lots of confidential information, things I should know but didn't know thanks to Tae Hyung who chose to keep it from me. Was he becoming like his father? What else had he agreed with Min Industries? And what about other companies? Was he making decisions behind my back?

I suddenly felt sick because all of this could have been avoided if he had opened up to me, explained the details. I wouldn't tell anyone whatever his secret about Yoon Gi is, it was probably not even that relevant. If I had seen these projections before, I would not have bought the shares, obviously. I could only think: you’re such a dumbass, Y/N!

It was exactly during my desperate fit while gathering all my belongings scattered around the meeting room, feeling desperate to leave, that Tae Hyung said one of the most painful things I have ever heard coming out of his mouth, ‘Where is my trust in you now?’

I would rather have been stabbed, it would actually hurt less.

Maybe it was the way he said it or the fact that it was the last straw in a hopeless scenario, but with that question, I felt free. I wasn't going to pretend anymore. I was so tired of playing his games, trying to understand his obsession with rules, sympathizing with his family problems, giving my blood, sweat, and tears for this company, basically being his work wife, giving up personal quality time with my family using the pretext that I was working harder to provide or to put aside any possibility of personal life that I had because deep down I hoped that he would finally see me as someone worthy, someone on the same level as him.

But I wasn’t.

I was never going to be.

So I said that I quitted and left the room, without waiting for a reaction or reply. I didn't want to hear anymore. Yes, I had an important position, yes I had become a shareholder in less than five years, yes I made a lot of money and helped my family, but at what cost?

All of this, all this effort, for him to question my trust? My loyalty to Vante? To him? I was a fool to believe that I really knew Tae Hyung. Even more for assuming that he knew me too. Ten years right down the drain because of a stupid mistake. Or was it really that stupid? It was looking more like a blessing in disguise because that was what allowed me to put myself first.

Arriving at the lobby, I was feeling too upset to be confined in a metal box and decided to choose the good old emergency staircase. She was my companion in so many difficult and challenging times. Personal and professional. She heard me cry and scream. Saw me jump and celebrate. It couldn't be any different now, right? And maybe it was my last time taking advantage of its magical powers.

It didn't take long to hear Tae Hyung's voice calling me and then coming up right behind me. I've never been so angry and hurt in my life and I didn't want to see him. I needed space, was that so hard for him to understand?

He kept following me, begging for my attention and justifying what, at that moment, seemed unjustifiable to me. I wanted some time to think, to breathe, to do anything that didn't have to do with him or Vante. But then he touched me and the warmth of his skin brought me back to reality.

This could not be happening. Focus!

He kept insisting that it was all my fault and I was about to start screaming. Tae Hyung didn't hear me, didn't see me, didn't understand me. It was suffocating. He even dared to say that I loved Vante.

I loved something else, lots of other things to be honest, but he never cared enough to know what they were. Vante was waaaay down on my love list. This was just the place I worked, my God.

That's why when Tae Hyung told me he needed me there and I made it clear that he didn't need me for anything. He never did. I'm good at what I do, but he's just as good. He hired me to share the responsibilities and make more time for the other activities required for a CEO. Including those that could very well be illegal, right? Who knows...

No matter what arguments or fights he tried to start, or how blind he was, my tiredness was not going to be magically cured, my mental exhaustion wiped out forever and my feeling of non-belonging resolved. I seriously, from the bottom of my heart, thought somehow it could be different, but there are things in life that are not meant to be. I couldn't force an end result just because I wanted to. This wasn’t how a relationship worked.

So I asked him not to follow me anymore, I wanted to get off that fucking emergency staircase. I felt like I was going to be sick again, my blood pressure was low and I needed air. I’m done. A place that was special to me now has been polluted with this presumptuous little scene of him all smug telling me what I should or shouldn't do, wanting to label my feelings, not taking my resignation seriously, and demanding that I return the next day.

Fucking men.⠀

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𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱 ❤ 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗹𝘆 𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝘀𝗸! 𝗶 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ revised version: 09.25.2021

02. family matters | reliability • kth

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pairing: taehyung x reader word count: 2.155 genre: drama, light angst rating: pg-13 warnings: none au: ceo/office trope: enemies to friends to lovers tags: ceo!taehyung, office!au, best friend!yoongi, unresolved emotional tension, mutual pining, slow burn crosspost: ao3

summary: let’s go back a few years to see how tae and Y/N’s relationship started and also get a glimpse into the kim family

A/N: it was important for me to start the series with a flasback so that the reader would be familiar with the kim family dynamics and the tension with Y/N right off the bat

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10 years before

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“There has to be someone else” I said, staring at the Seoul skyline in front of me as I pondered all the possibilities with hands in my pockets. I'm taking over the family business and the only thing that scares me is making a mistake when hiring people. Well, my dad scares me, and getting a complaint call from him questioning how I managed to ruin Vante Enterprises in less than 6 months of his long-awaited retirement is not in my plans.

“Why?” asked the woman sitting on the large and comfortable couch behind me. Her thin face and dark hair complemented her porcelain skin very well and she was, at all times, the most beautiful person in any room.

“She’s inadequate” I replied, making her roll her eyes.

“Nonsense, Tae Hyung. Y/N graduated at the top of her class, in front of you much less, and did an MBA abroad” the woman said nonchalantly while taking a sip of her tea.

“I meant in regards to the company's culture” I sat down next to her, leaning sideways on the back of the couch and resting my head on my hand.

“Oh right” she set the cup down on the coffee table, “I forgot that you Kims only hire who you can control”

“Mom!”

“Honey, this is your opportunity to differentiate yourself from your father” she continued, “Having someone you know in a position like this is important in the long run”

At least in one thing my mom and I could agree on: I would, without a doubt, run the company in a new way. I had already started by choosing people who were suitable for the positions and not because I knew them or my family had some kind of connection with theirs. If, by chance, these two factors intersected, great, otherwise, the best resume wins.

“Known is not the same as reliable” I observed.

Still not satisfied with my answer, my mom got philosophical. “Trust comes with time” she started in a tone as if she wanted to pass for a spiritual being of great wisdom, but I knew she was just trying to be a good mom despite not knowing the exact details of what the family business required.

“I still have six more resumes appointed by someone I know” I leaned over to the coffee table and picked up the papers. “Two of them are former classmates too. How about that?” I waved them back and forth.

“If I remember correctly, neither of them made you stutter for the first time in an academic debate” my mom made a pose like she was thinking, crossing her arms and bringing one hand to her chin. How dramatic... and a liar. I didn't stutter.

“Yup, I think it's time for you to go” I exhaled, slapping my hands on my thighs and standing up. “Thank you very much for coming and giving your input on a subject I did not ask for” I continued in an amusing tone, but low-key serious, taking her by the hand and guiding her towards the door.

“Tae Hyung, you know that Y/N is the right choice” she moved the bag handle over her shoulder. “Be smart” and caressed my face.

“Okay” I sighed, “I love you” and kissed her forehead.

“I love you too” she smirked and left.

I went back to the couch and grabbed the resumes intending to read them one more time to be absolutely sure that I had not missed any relevant information. Very conveniently the first one was Y/N’s.

“She did it on purpose” I thought out loud when I realized my mom had deliberately put it there so I couldn't ignore it. 

Very well then, I started reading Y/N’s resume with legitimate attention, trying to ignore the name and photo at the top. I needed to be objective and impartial, a lot was at stake, but to be completely honest, at first, it was difficult because she has some striking physical features, which most men would find attractive but that was not my case. And even if it was, her personality overshadowed everything else to the point of making me lose any interest. After my common sense settled in, I continued reading, paying close attention to her previous work experiences.

“Hmm, this is interesting” I mumbled to myself.

Unlike the other candidates, Y/N had interned at one of the largest financial institutions in the country during college - something I had no idea, by the way, but not that we were friends back then, of course, because why would she tell me something like that? I really had no way of knowing - and I'm looking for people with experience in acquisitions. Convenient coincidence, I like it.

Moving on, I analyzed two letters of recommendation along with her resume and I must agree that on paper she is the right person. Damn it, I hate it when my mom is right! Still, the matter of company culture is real and I think that a person like her wouldn’t do well here. She is opinionated, impulsive, and hates being told ‘no’. At the same time, she was praised for the exact opposite in the letters, and that made me curious. An interview wouldn't hurt, would it?

I got up, went over to my desk, and pressed the button that put me in direct contact with the secretary.

“Yes, Mr. Kim?” Eun Ae answered promptly.

“I need to schedule some interviews next week” I said while fiddling through the resumes and selecting three, “I’ll email you the information”

“Yes, sir”

“Ah, Mrs. Gwa?” I almost forgot. It was better to hide my identity, otherwise, they’ll try sucking up to me thinking it would affect my final decision. And by 'they' I mean two of the three people because Y/N most likely wouldn't even accept the invitation if she knew that I was in charge of the company. “When contacting the candidates, I ask you not to divulge that I'll be the one conducting the interview”

“Okay” she wrote down and I could hear the sound of her keyboard. “Anything else?”

“No, that's all. Thank you”

Between today and the day of the interview, I had to prepare myself for the different reactions I might receive. My position as CEO has not yet been announced in the media and only shareholders know that a new person will take over at the end of the year. They suspect it will be my older brother, or rather, they expect it to be him but to the general dismay it will be me.

Ye Jun is a lawyer and has been involved in the family business since he started reading. However, two years ago in the middle of Christmas dinner, he had a breakdown when my uncles pressured him about some specific problem happening inside the company and he totally lost his composure (with a little help from alcohol, of course). He made a scene screaming that he didn't want that life anymore or even see any of those people again. Then he went on about how much he hated their meetings and the way everyone was fake in front of my father and in private would even criticize the color of the tie he wore. From the corner of the living room, I watched the whole thing go down without a hint of shock on my face because I always knew that moment would come. Ye Jun wasn’t born to be a leader.

The next day, he and my father were locked in the office for almost three hours. When the heavy wooden doors finally opened, dad left looking tired and announced without looking me in the eye, “Now it's up to you, Tae Hyung.” Confused by that statement, I went in and saw Ye Jun with his head between his hands, sitting in the armchair by the window.

“What the hell did you say to him?” I pointed my thumb back at the door.

“That I’m not doing it” Ye Jun replied, lifting his head and interlacing his hands. His posture seemed relaxed as if he were finally comfortable, although there was an uncertainty in his eyes that made me wonder if he was having second thoughts about the decision.

“Do what?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

Ye Jun looked at me and smiled.

“Give in to the pressure, complying with expectations, sacrificing my profession, not being myself”

He paused, standing up and holding me by the shoulders.

“I also told him that the best person for the position is you” Ye Jun's voice was full of affection, “It has to be you, Tae” he patted me on the side and I looked at him stunned.

“Dad will never put me ahead of Vante, Jun” I blurted as soon as I managed to assimilate what my brother had just said.

“Didn't you hear what he said to you as soon as he left?” Ye Jun looked confused for a second “Now it's up to you. You are the next CEO” he said in a firm tone.

I suddenly got embarrassed because it felt like I had just stolen my brother's job. “It doesn't make sense, we have opposite views on how to run a business” I looked away and stared at the floor.

“True, you do, but lately he started to realize that the world is changing and that Vante could be much better off if it started to adapt” Ye Jun stated by squeezing my shoulders and bringing me back to reality. “Of course, there is still a certain traditionalism in our field, but every now and then dad finds himself negotiating with foreign companies where the mindset is what sets them apart and he feels conflicted. Do you continue as you are and please national companies or do you adapt and gain visibility abroad? He wants Vante to remain as the leader in the segment but he is stuck in his own beliefs and he knows it”

After this conversation with my brother, things changed and I started to accept more confidently the responsibility that was placed upon me. However, regardless of how I felt, the criticism would come in full force. Many powerful people will question my father's decision and I wouldn’t be surprised if boycotts took place in the first year.

It was with all these possibilities in mind that my first act as CEO was to completely renew the staff, starting with the most strategic positions and closest to me. One of them was the operations manager, who would act as my right hand, valuing Vante's financial success and setting in motion the vision, strategic plan, and goals I set.

In theory, Y/N was perfect for it, but I wouldn't make it easier just because we knew each other. She was very smart and I was sure that the moment she walked through that door and came face to face with me, her demeanor would change and we would start playing a game of chess.

******

I dedicated the entire day Wednesday for the interviews and the first two had gone very well, exactly as I had planned and prepared — what a relief! It was almost 4:30 pm, Y/N’s appointment was the last one and I was extremely curious about her reaction, I don't know why. Maybe I wanted to prove something to her, like ‘Ha, look who’s running things now’ or ‘I bet you never thought you would see me sitting here'.

Y/N was always better at everything and I couldn't stand it. I had an obligation to excel at something. She was not perfect as everyone liked to think and, frankly, to worship. But, even if it bothered me to admit, we had things in common and she was qualified.

“Yes?” I said coming out of my reverie when the phone rang.

“Ms. Y/LN is here, Mr. Kim” Eun Ae announced.

“Let her in”

I heard a light knock on the door, followed by its closing and a few clicks of high heels on the floor coming towards me. I looked up and Y/N was dressed in a black midi-length v-neck dress with a stand-up collar that made her look formal but not old. Matter of fact, if I was actually paying attention I could even say that this specific fabric was made for her body type and hugged her in all the right places, but I wasn’t.

“Hello, Y/N” I said getting up from my chair, “Long time no see!” I smiled and took off my glasses, placing them in front of me next to the tablet I had been holding moments before.

Y/N shook her head holding a laugh as she bit her lip and stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world: “You’re so predictable. I’m amused”

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𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱 ❤ 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗹𝘆 𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝘀𝗸! 𝗶 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ revised version: 09.25.2021

masterlist

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ON GOING⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

↳ snowed in chapters: 06/10 pairing: jimin x reader genre: fluff, romance tags: single dad!jimin, journalist!reader, strangers to lovers

thanks to your dog you met the cute but guarded neighbor. thanks to a snowstorm you discovered he could be much more than that. would the two of you be ready for new beginnings, even if your pasts left deep scars?

alternatively: how you and park jimin fell in love by christmas

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COMPLETED

↳ dear soulmate word count: 3.614 pairing: namjoon x reader genre: romance, fluff tags: soulmate!au, idol!namjoon, strangers to lovers

once a year, the system assigns soulmates according to the sincerity of their submission letters. ready to have your lives completely changed, namjoon and you sign up for the program, receiving on the first week of january the highly anticipated green envelope with each other’s message

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↳ like no other [+18] word count: 6.937 pairing: taehyung x reader genre: smut tags: exes!au, shameless smut, big dick!taehyung, possessive!taehyung

great chemistry is an extreme waste when people are terrible at communication and feelings

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↳ the dinner [+18] word count: 1.888 pairing: namjoon x reader genre: smut tags: slice of life!au, shameless smut, boyfriend!namjoon

the thought of having Namjoon fuck me hard while everyone else was downstairs, and could look up at any time and catch both of us, had my pussy throbbing.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ↳ hangsang word count: 1.268 pairing: yoongi x reader genre: light angst, fluff tags: slice of life!au, established relationship, musician!yoongi, boyfriend!yoongi

on a particular difficult day, while feeling at your absolute lowest, you confess to yoongi he would be better off without you

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↳ reliability chapters: 10 | word count: 31.424 pairing: taehyung x reader genre: light angst, drama tags: ceo!taehyung, enemies to friends to lovers

a predictable mistake in buying shares becomes the perfect opportunity for taehyung to show everybody in the company no one is above his rules. what he didn't know was that his plan would backfire making him question what the real meaning of trust is

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DRABBLES

#24 namjoon x reader || action, fantasy || 493 words

#35 taehyung x reader || romance, fluff || 599 words

#54 seokjin x reader || angst || 806 words

#89 yoongi x reader || angst || 1.301 words (oops?)

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WORKING ON

↳ chaptered the messers (become the messies) ∙ yoongi x reader

↳ one shots reality or illusion ∙ jungkook x reader selfless ∙ namjoon x reader how much love (how much joy) ∙ hoseok x reader

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SOON

↳ short stories last night ∙ namjoon x reader back to you∙ jin x reader unexpectedly ∙ yoongi x reader aligned ∙ hoseok x reader the lake ∙ jimin x reader next to you ∙ taehyung x reader everything & everywhere ∙ jungkook x reader

↳ series dangerously in love ∙ bts mafia!au

↳ chaptered one for the laugh, two for the show ∙ jin x reader

reliability • kth

pairing: taehyung x reader 

chapters: 10

genre: drama, light angst 

rating: pg-13 | p-15 (final chapter)

warnings: cursing, sensual innuendos (and later on) kissing, implied mental health struggles, brief description of panic attack

au: ceo/office 

trope: enemies to friends to lovers 

tags: ceo!taehyung, office!au, best friend!yoongi, unresolved emotional tension, mutual pining, slow burn 

crosspost: ao3

summary: a predictable mistake in buying shares becomes the perfect opportunity for taehyung to show everybody in the company no one is above his rules. what he didn’t know was that his plan would backfire making him question what the real meaning of trust is

☆ disclaimer: this is a work of fiction taken from the depths of my imagination, which takes place in an alternative universe (AU) and has no real connection with people, places or organizations. everything you will read is fictional and created by me. i do not authorize its reproduction, translation or publication, partially or entirely © mrsparknamjoon

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CHAPTER 01: the linchpin ↳ word count: 1.900 ↳ release date: december 11th, 2020 ↳ revised in: september 25th, 2021

CHAPTER 02: family matters ↳ word count: 2.155 ↳ release date: december 20th, 2020 ↳ revised in: september 25th, 2021

CHAPTER 03: a little honesty never killed anyone ↳ word count: 1.671 ↳ release date: january 7th, 2021 ↳ revised in: september 25th, 2021

CHAPTER 04: take it back ↳ word count: 2.750 ↳ release date: january 14th, 2021 ↳ revised in: september 25th, 2021

CHAPTER 05: once upon a time ↳ word count: 3.184 ↳ release date: january 17th, 2021 ↳ revised in: september 25th, 2021

CHAPTER 06: too blind to see ↳ word count: 2.258 ↳ release date: february 8th, 2021 ↳ revised in: september 25th, 2021

CHAPTER 07: a double-edged sword ↳ word count: 4.738 ↳ release date: february 22nd, 2021 ↳ revised in: september 25th, 2021

CHAPTER 08: hanging by a thread ↳ word count: 2.909 ↳ release date: march 22nd, 2021 ↳ revised in: september 25th, 2021

CHAPTER 09: careful decision, heartful declaration ↳ word count: 4.197 ↳ release date: march 28th, 2021 ↳ revised in: september 25th, 2021

CHAPTER 10: what do you see? ↳ word count: 5.662 ↳ release date: january 25th, 2022

Me too.. too blind to see.. ahh... wt will happen...

the real question i wanna know is: what do you think will happen? 😏 i feel a plot twist coming soon though

07. a double-edged sword | reliability • kth

previous | index | next

pairing: taehyung x reader word count: 4.738 genre: drama, light angst rating: pg-13 warnings: cursing au: ceo/office trope: enemies to friends to lovers tags: ceo!taehyung, office!au, best friend!yoongi, unresolved emotional tension, mutual pining, slow burn crosspost: ao3

summary: over the course of a month, tae is forced to face his feelings in order to fix things with Y/N. but will he be able to? she has some news.

A/N: a double-edged sword: a situation or course of action having both positive and negative effects. in this particular chapter i wanted to show that even when you have the best intentions at heart, things might take an inexpected turn and get you back to square one

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≡ 24 hours later ≡

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Saturday. 11pm. I was trying so hard to fell asleep but my stupid and stubborn brain only knew how to repeat Y/N, Y/N, Y/N, over and over and over and over again — it was driving me nuts.

Yoon Gi helped. He truly did. I felt so much better after talking to him but to be completely honest he stirred some shit inside me too and I wasn't sure how productive the next few days were going to be. If I can't sleep, how am I supposed to focus on work? Y/N may have quit but I was still CEO and had a lot of people depending on me.

In the dark, the light beams that came in through the bedroom window made shadows with interesting shapes and I stared at the ceiling as if it was going to give me the answers I needed.

I took a deep breath.

They say there are 5 stages to grieving: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. I already went through 3 but out of order. Does that count?

At first, I tried to bargain with Y/N. No success there. Then I went to straight denial as Yoon Gi casually pointed out how dumb and blind I have been. Now I'm getting depressed because I don't really see a way out of this. Y/N is gone.

Another deep breath.

Maybe I should go make ramen.

In the kitchen, while setting everything up, I went over different conversations I had with Y/N over the years, looking for any hint that my subconscious could have given me that I genuinely liked her. It was still weird to talk about it so openly, even in my own head. Bringing to consciousness something that was asleep, for whatever reason, was uncomfortable.

I'm not sure why I made a point of burying the possibility inside me. Maybe because I believed she hated me (but if she hated you so much, why did she go to work for you?), maybe because I thought she didn't have time for a relationship (she didn't have time because you loaded her with work, idiot) or it was because I was simply afraid (this seems like the most logical option, congratulations). The dialogue with myself went on for a while until the ramen was just the way I like it and I ate out of the pan sitting at the dinner table.

What do I really feel for her?

Is it attraction? Admiration? Lust?

What do I like about her?

If I text Yoon Gi right now will he block me? Probably.

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≡ 1 week later ≡

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “You have been quiet since you got here, honey. Did something happen?” my mom asked as she calmly sliced her steak. Joining us at the table were my father, my brother, and his fiancee Hyun Jae.

“Don't tell me you lost the exclusivity deal with that Australian company” my dad sipped some of his wine while my mom gave an elusive nudge with her elbow making him almost spit his drink.

“No dad, I renewed the deal” I replied.

“So what happened?” my mom insisted, more concerned now, even making Ye Jun lookup.

“Nothing, nothing” I reaffirmed with a (fake) smile making her smile too. “Tell me about the wedding, Jun. Have you guys set the date yet?” I pointed the knife at my brother and my future sister-in-law.

“September 15th” Hyun Jae nodded sheepishly.

“Excellent! I will ask Eun Ae to block my schedule"

“Thank you, Tae” Ye Jun smiled.

“It will be here in Seoul, a classic but intimate ceremony. We are not going to invite many people, just the dearest ones” Hyun Jae explained. “Are you bringing someone?”

I think she must have asked the question that everyone there wanted to ask because the three heads immediately turned to me. My mom because she was curious, my father because he was surprised, and my brother because of Hyun Jae's boldness. Now it was his turn to nudge her with his elbow.

“You can bring someone, or not, it’s fine, we don't care” she laughed embarrassed. “I mean, we do care, you are very important, we are family…” she immediately corrected herself.

“Baby, I think he got it” Ye Jun put his hand on top of Hyun Jae's, making her stop and breathe. It was actually funny the way she blushed. My brother, poor guy, head over heels for her, admired every tiny detail on her face. They deserve each other.

“You should bring Y/N” my mom commented with a smirk as if she had said the most brilliant thing ever.

My dad looked at her a little surprised, “She's a good girl, but wouldn't she give the wrong impression?”

I didn't even have time to say anything, because my mom already intervened as if Y/N was her own daughter, “What do you mean wrong?”

“No, not like that” said my father, “She works at Vante, she is not Tae Hyung's girlfriend. People gossip, you know Soo Jin?”

“And what do you know about gossip, anyway?” my mom narrowed her eyes.

“I'm right here, guys” I remarked, “Doesn't my opinion count?”

“Right” my dad rolled his eyes at my mom and turned to me, “What do you think? Would she accept the invitation even though she only has a professional relationship with you?”

“Maybe, I'll have to ask her” I took another bite of my food. With my mouth full I can't spill out that Y/N no longer works at Vante. My father would kill me.

* * * *⠀

As I'm walking to the front door to grab my jacket and car keys after I said goodbye to my family, I hear footsteps approaching behind me. To no surprise at all, it was my mother.

“You used to stay longer, you know?” she stood beside me, snuggling to her beautiful peach cardigan. Her cheekbones had a light shade of pink and her hair was up in a ponytail. She looked so young.

“I'm sorry mom, I really have to go”

“But it's Sunday” she pouted, hugging my right arm and stopping me from putting the other side of the jacket on.

My mom had this adorable side that came out every once in a while, whenever she needed some attention. Didn't happen much, but at the same time, it made my heart grow bigger. It also made me a little bit sad too since I knew it was because she was feeling either sad or lonely.

“Yeah, I know, I wish I could but there's a lot to be done at the company and I have to prepare for a big meeting tomorrow” I (white) lied since I'm embarrassed about the actual reason why. A part of that statement was true though.

“I know that excuse all too well” my mom side-eyed me, letting go of my arm, “Your dad used to say it quite a lot”

More and more I see traits of my dad in me and I hate it. I swore from the beginning that I was going to be different. Better. Look at me treating my mom the same way he did for so many years. I'm pathetic.

“Can't you ask Y/N to help you or handle the meeting? Just this once” she pleaded, watching me put the car keys in the jacket’s front pocket, “Your brother's wedding it's in 6 weeks and I need to discuss some things with you before"

“Uh…” I paused for a second. I should have seen this question coming. “Y/N is very busy too” I shrugged nonchalantly.

My mom furrowed her eyebrows.

“Let me check my schedule” I quickly intervened, holding her by the shoulders, trying to change the subject, “I think I can come to dinner next Friday and we’ll talk about the wedding”

“Fine” she sighed in defeat.

I gave her a big box smile and a kiss on the forehead, “Okay, I gotta go now, mom”

As I was reaching for the doorknob she said, “Wait, just one more thing”

“Yeah?” I turned around.

She looked me dead in the eyes, cute attitude long gone. “Apologize to Y/N”

“W-what?” I stammered in shock.

“I don't know what you did, but just apologize” she pointed her finger at me as if I was five years old and just did something naughty.

“How did you…” I avoided her stare, letting out a nervous laugh.

“Whenever we asked about her you gave evasive answers” she said just before poking me in the chest, “And I know you"

This was my problem and I didn’t want my mom worrying about it. She had a tendency to want to solve everything for everyone and I suspect she would also like me to date Y/N. To this day, I don't know what her real intention was in insisting on hiring Y/N, but something tells me that it was love at first sight for my mother — unlike me, which was not even on the 8790th sight. If my mother could have chosen to have a daughter, I’m sure she would describe Y/N head to toe, flaws and all.

“Thanks mom but I'll find a way to fix it” I replied with a faint smile, barely holding it together. If she only knew how I was feeling inside.

“Oh, I know that, you always do” she gave me a wink, “Just remember to speak from the heart” and rubbed my chest.

“I did that. Didn't work"

“Are you sure?” she squinted her eyes.

“What do you mean? Of course!” I pulled away.

“Tae Hyung, you have a terrible way to communicate your feelings” she looked back at the living room making sure no one was close by to listen to the next part as she whispered, “and that's on me and your dad" I laughed and she returned to normal volume, “So I highly doubt you knew what you were doing”

“I asked her to stay, that I needed her there”

“Wait, why?” she grabbed my arm again and led me towards the door.

“She quit” I whispered as we crossed the threshold.

“What?” my mom shouted.

“Shh!!” I said while closing the door behind us and pulling her close to me as we walked to the driveway, “Yes, I fucked up really bad mom, but I know that if I can just talk to her one more time I'll convince her to change her mind”

“Where is she now?” my mom asked, lowering the hand that was over her mouth.

There’s no more hiding, I guess. I need to come clean.

“I don't know"

“Good God, Tae Hyung” she slapped my arm, “How in the world did you manage to lose your most devoted and talented employee?”

“By being an asshole” I confessed.

She rolled her eyes, “Lovely”

The moment we approach my car I suddenly turn around, desperation fully displayed on my face, “Can you just please keep this a secret? I'll figure something out, just don't tell dad yet”

My mom pondered for a few seconds. Not if she was going to tell my dad or not, because I knew she wouldn't do it, but what to say to me next. I could see in her eyes how worried she was and how badly she wanted to offer me some kind of solution (the family's problem solver, remember?). Instead, she just used the old-fashioned threat, “You better!”

“Now I really have to go” I gave her a hug. “I love you”

“I love you too” she squeezed me a bit tighter before taking a step back and cupping my face, “And remember: be honest. With her, and with yourself”

“I will…” I nodded, promising myself that as difficult as it was, I would try. My mom was right and that was good advice.

“And stop being an asshole” she moved her hands from my cheeks and rested them on my shoulders.

That was also another good piece of advice, although more difficult to execute, so I just laughed, “I will”

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≡ 1 month later ≡

 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Right after I got out of the shower, while still drying my hair, I noticed my phone light up and vibrate over the sink. It took me a few seconds to register the name that appeared in large letters at the top: Y/N. I threw the towel away and picked up the device as fast as I could, almost dropping it on the floor. Desperate was an understatement.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Are you at home?” she asked, which I immediately replied with a grunt which made her continue, “Can I come in? We need to talk”

The tone in Y/N's voice was serious but didn’t show anger as I thought it would; not like that day on the emergency staircase, at least. I ran over to the intercom and saw her on the camera. The request was surprising, the time even more so. It wasn't like her to show up here at my house, so whatever she had to talk about it must be urgent. Okay, Y/N was the topic of conversation, but something stirred inside me and I started to feel restless.

“Sure” I replied, pressing the button that opened the gate and ending the call right away.

She caught me so off guard and I didn't even have time to put clothes on! I was still in my bathrobe. Damn, this doesn't seem appropriate. As soon as I heard the front door open, I ran into the bedroom and put on the first outfit I saw, a set of black sweats.

Back in the living room, Y/N was sitting on the couch with her elbows resting on her thighs and her chin in her hands, swinging back and forth. Was she nervous or just bored?

“Ah, hello!” I coughed first to announce my presence, “Sorry, I just got out of the shower”

“That’s okay” she straightened up and smiled, watching me walk around the couch and sit, “I should have given you a heads up before coming and not simply show up at your doorstep”

“You are always welcome” I adjusted the glasses on the bridge of my nose, still unsure of what to say next and somewhat afraid of what she had to tell me, “Did something happen?”

Y/N took a deep breath.

Oh-oh, that doesn't sound good.

“Over the past few weeks, I thought a lot about what happened, about the things I said and, especially about the things I didn't say” she looked away, now staring at the tv on the wall in front of us. “Do you remember that acquisition in Hong Kong?”

It took me a few seconds to pinpoint the memory but I smiled when I did, “Sure, it was your first international purchase”

That day Y/N was so happy and I remember thinking ‘It's just another purchase, why is she smiling so much?’, without even considering how meaningful it must have been for her.

“Yes, but what I remember most vividly about that day was the way you treated me” her gaze now returned to me, nostalgic and a kind of sad, “I felt invincible because you believed that I could be invincible” she smiled without showing her teeth as if the memory itself was a little painful to talk about.

“I thought you knew” I replied frowning, “You always acted like you were” I chuckled and Y/N blushed.

“Apparently, we never properly recognized how alike we are and how we have influenced each other over the years, have we?” she asked.

I thought about it for a moment, “Yeah, I guess you’re right”

“Everything has always been so implicit” she nodded, “At least for me…”

“Of course, for me too. I was never big on words, you know that” I agreed.

“Maybe that was our mistake too” she observed, suddenly making me understand exactly what this conversation was about. Watching my reaction closely, she continued, “You know what I'm talking about, don't you?”

I knew, of course I did, but it is so difficult to say it out loud.

“My inability to say thank you?” I teased, trying to be funny, too much of a coward to keep going. Why am I like this? Why do I have to make things more complicated? It's so simple. She is so simple.

“I was talking about how we both took each other's trust for granted and ended up abusing certain situations, thinking it would be okay and just brushing them off when in fact the chance of us getting hurt and feeling betrayed was pretty big” Y/N shrugged, “but sure, you can be really ungrateful”

Shit.

I must have spent a lot of time staring at my feet, searching for the right words, because she took advantage of my silence to keep talking.

“Precisely because I knew you trusted me so much, it didn't even cross my mind to consult you on such a small acquisition and, at that time, very insignificant and disconnected of Min Industries, because I had done it before” she paused and glanced back at me just to make sure that I was following along. “You, on the other hand, thought that I would stay, even after I was humiliated and hurt because that wasn’t the first time that we disagreed on something and you put on a little show”

Yup, she called me on my bullshit. I really took our relationship for granted. When I think of the selfish way in which I made certain decisions or how I treated her, it almost seems like an out-of-body experience. It is as if I look at myself and couldn’t recognize the person in front of me.

“My mistake was to assume that you knew and respected me enough not to use me as a pawn in a pathetic power scheme” Y/N continued, now with a little more urgency in her voice, “And yours was that I was going to tolerate this behavior forever and quietly; a bit submissively too”

She got up and started pacing around the room, “I should have told you that your attitude bothered me but I was busy and naively waiting for that Hong Kong Tae Hyung to appear. The one who was kind, empathetic, and also funny” she seemed lost in thought but not for long. She then regained focus and asked me with bitterness in her voice, “I wanted to be your friend, wasn’t it obvious?”

“No, quite the opposite” I snapped.

“Since college”

“What?” I widened my eyes, “You ignored me in college"

“Because in the few interactions we had, you always found a way to criticize me”

“Wait, you criticized me” I said, getting up and pointing a finger at Y/N.

She watched me do this and pointed her finger back, stammering a little bit, “I-I did it because you did it first”

“I'm so confused…” I massaged my temples as I walked towards the kitchen. Water, I need water.

Y/N was right behind me. She stopped in front of the island and watched me open the fridge. “You really have no idea what's going on around you, do you? Always oblivious”

“I don’t do it on purpose, Y/N” I justified, slamming the door and opening the bottle of water. My voice came out a little harsh because of the mocking tone she had used before — I couldn't help it, this is how we communicate. She noticed.

“But it doesn't hurt any less because of it” she whispered, lowering her head and staring at the counter.

Even after I realized my reaction was exaggerated and being completely aware that this was the whole point of the conversation, I couldn't hold back the following words and kind of shouted, “Is that what you wanted to tell me? At this hour of the night? That I’m a bad person? Thanks, I got the memo”

Y/N took a deep breath, “I'll let this one slide”

Does she want to lay all the cards on the table? Great, let’s do it.

“You know what?” I started, taking a quick sip of water and closing the bottle, “I've been waiting to hear from you for over a month. I was desperate thinking that something had happened. Now you show up here, late at night, with what I thought would be an explanation or at least a productive conversation, but no” I faced Y/N, my hands resting on the cold marble, fingertips gripping the edge tightly. “What do you want?”

“To tell you straight up I’m tired” she replied without any emotion in her voice, “I'm tired of your games, trying to understand your obsession with rules, sympathizing with your family problems, giving my blood sweat, and tears for Vante, acting like your work wife, giving up quality time with my family or any possibility of personal life” she shifted the weight from one leg to the other and tilted her head a little to the side, “I just wanted you to see me as worthy”

“Worthy?” I asked.

“Worthy of your time, of your friendship, and who knows, maybe something more” Y/N ended with a humorless laugh, the kind you give after hearing something absurd or a bad joke.

“Something more?” I blinked trying to assimilate the information.

Y/N rolled her eyes, “Don't try to be funny now”

“Promise I’m not” I raised both hands.

“Tae Hyung, for God's sake, the tension between us is palpable, it always has been. Can you honestly tell me you didn't feel it?” she leaned over the island and grabbed the water bottle in front of me and drank right away.

“Well, yes... I did” I scratched my head, “but you are so hard to read…”

“That's because you never bothered to get to know me. Not really” she capped the bottle and tossed it back to me, “Back in college you made sure to put up a wall between us. I don't even know you”

“What are you talking about?” I grabbed the bottle with one hand in a quick reflex, “You’re the person who knows me the best, Y/N” I pointed the bottle back at her.

“You only get that impression because we spent hours on end together, but when was the last time you told me anything personal?”

Wait, that was a valid question. When was the last time? I'm sure it wasn't that long ago. Hold on, I'll remember. It was that day... no, it was that time...

“See?” she crossed her arms, taking advantage of my inner monologue.

“We’re digressing” I walked around the kitchen, returning to the couch, “What is this worthy thing all about? Do you…” I paused as I sat down, biting my bottom lip “Do you like me?” I asked.

Y/N, still in the kitchen, laughed to herself before slapping the island's surface, “Out of everything I said, is this the part you’re focusing on?”

“Oh I'm sorry if I'm a little shocked by the ton of information you just dumped on me” I said in a sarcastic tone, getting up from the couch feeling the adrenaline running through my body, it was impossible to stay still. “It’s obvious that I had no idea that you felt so bad working at Vante, if I had known I would have done something about it. I never wanted or expected you to give up your life for me or the company, now I feel bad”

“It is what it is” she put her hands in the front pockets of the plaid maxi blazer and walked towards me.

“No, it doesn't work like that” I shook my head “It’s like you don't know the basics”

Then that's it. We reached the point of no return. With each new information Y/N revealed, more urgent was my need to make everything clear. I was scared as hell, but we had no choice. Either we talked about how we really felt or we would end our relationship for good.

“You can't come to my house and say everything you want to say and hope that I don't say anything back. The last month was a fucking nightmare for me, I replayed that night over and over in my head, dissecting all my answers and finding three new ones, because I knew I made the biggest mistake of my life” I felt like my heart was going to come out of my mouth, blood pumping in my ear, my hands were starting to sweat, “If I could go back in time, I would, but I can’t. And where were you for me to properly apologize?”

“I needed some time” she muttered.

“Yes, I understand, I don’t blame you. But now you’re here. Let's talk!”

Y/N was still standing behind the couch, her facial expression impassive, just waiting for what I was going to say next. I, on the other hand, had already taken off my glasses and moved to the front of the tv, walking back and forth in an attempt to calm down a little and choose the right set of words.

“I know I already said it, but I’m gonna say it again, I shouldn't have humiliated you in front of the shareholders, let alone questioned your trust or loyalty to me and Vante. For that and also for being an absolute jerk most of the time, I sincerely apologize”

Y/N nodded.

“It was never my intention to hurt you, drive you away, or disrespect you. You are the person I admire the most within the company. That day I saw the perfect opportunity and went for it. I thought that if I showed the shareholders that even the “boss’s favorite” didn’t have privileges, of course, they wouldn’t” I said calmly and slowly so that she had time to absorb everything.

“I am obsessed with rules because they help me find order amid chaos” I continued, “I’m terrible with surprises. I hate the feeling of helplessness that comes attached to error. My perfectionist nature limits me more than it helps and if I could change something about myself it would be that”

I walk towards Y/N, the only thing between us is the couch.

“Believe me, I didn’t make a conscious choice to use them as an obstacle to anything, including a relationship. I'm sorry for that too” I rubbed my eyes, taking a deep breath.

“About telling you things about my personal life, I honestly thought you didn't care at all” I looked up to meet her eyes, “Even before Vante, you never seemed to care about me that way” I put my hands in my sweatshirt pocket, “You mentioned the wall I put up, but you must have helped me build it because I also know very little about your life. Have you noticed that?”

Y/N was speechless. From her reaction, I could see I struck a nerve. She was too focused on pointing out my defects and forgot to recognize her own.

“Huh…” she said, narrowing her eyes after thinking for a while, “I think you’re right. Better late than never then”

“What?”

“Eric proposed to me” Y/N stated.

I shake my head, suddenly dizzy by what I just heard. Torn between confusion, despair, and a nervous breakdown, I feel like screaming and laughing at the same time because if I heard her correctly it is ridiculous. 

“Are you serious?”

Was Y/N testing me? I thought she liked me. Up until three minutes ago, that was what she made me believe. I’m not crazy, she said 'something more’, didn't she? So how could she be marrying another guy? And that stupid englishman of all people? It must be a joke.

“Didn’t you want me to tell you about my personal life? This is personal” Y/N crossed her arms, “Eric proposed to me”

“Okay, you are serious” I said to myself, “What did you say?” I turned my face to her, a pleading look on my face. At that moment it was impossible to read her expression and the silence was killing me, “Did you accept, Y/N?”

“Yes”

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱 ❤ 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗹𝘆 𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝘀𝗸! 𝗶 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ revised version: 09.25.2021