WHAT !!!WHY... He Just Realized It.. A Little Late

WHAT !!!WHY... he just realized it.. a little late

well, in ofc’s mind it wasn’t a little and she felt like she needed to move on. the things is though: is tae gonna do something to change her mind? is he ready to tell her how he feels?

06. too blind to see | reliability • kth

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pairing: taehyung x reader word count: 2.258 genre: drama, light angst rating: pg-13 warnings: cursing, alcohol consumption au: ceo/office trope: enemies to friends to lovers tags: ceo!taehyung, office!au, best friend!yoongi, unresolved emotional tension, mutual pining, slow burn crosspost: ao3

summary: taehyung seeks advice from yoongi and ends up realizing that there are some unresolved feelings he needs to figure it out

A/N: this was probably one of my favorite chapters to write. working on the relationship between tae and yoongi is refreshing, because yoongi comes in as the voice of reason (and maybe even the reader's voice too a lil’ bit) and is a very important thing for the protagonist's development.

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“This is concerning” Yoon Gi said as he took the glass from the waiter's tray, “And it also doesn't make any sense. Y/N would never resign without good reason.” He paused briefly to face me, as I remained silent trying to find the right words. “What did you do, Tae Hyung?”

I fidgeted in the armchair a couple of times and ran my hands through my hair before revealing in a tone that I hoped was casual and aloof enough as if things like this happened all the time and I was perfectly okay with the consequences.

“I may or may not have humiliated her in front of the shareholders just to make a point about how wrong it was to go behind my back to buy your shares and then in private question her trust”

“Tell me you're joking” Yoon Gi looked me up and down, his expression a little difficult to read. He looked angry but at the same time confused, as if he hadn't heard me right. Apparently, my attempt at sounding casual failed. I could only mumble sounds. Words? What was that? I suddenly became desperate. Who was I trying to fool? Yoon Gi or myself?

“Tae Hyung! Are you stupid?” he placed the drink on the small table between us, “Why did you do that?”

The real reason I didn't know. I simply did it. Impulse? Yes. Stupidity? For sure. Ego? Most likely. The more I replay the incident in my head, the more ridiculous it gets. Saying it out loud? Mortifying.

“I know, I know” I started defending myself, “In the beginning, the shareholders were all nice and everything was great. They sucked up to me the way they never sucked up to my dad. However, as the years went by I started to deny their perks and demands and they responded by doing the absolute minimum. Didn't affect Vante as you would expect, instead left me with a bunch of shit to do and stress level through the roof” I explained.

Yoon Gi took another sip of his whiskey and, still holding the glass close to his mouth, he pointed his index finger at me making the liquid stir inside. “From where I’m standing you shouldn’t have used Y/N in your so-called revenge plan. You should have talked to her about it first and come up with a plan together to fuck those assholes”

“Yes, we already established that I am a jerk” I lowered my head, pouring more soju, “When I first heard she bought the shares I got really pissed, I’m not gonna lie. I explicitly told her you and I had a deal and she had to come to me first” I continued to defend myself, after all, there was some sort of logic behind my fuck up.

“She bought shares in which company?” Yoon Gi asked.

I squinted for a moment trying to remember names, “FL and Losna"

“Not many people know I own Losna, Tae” he pondered, “It may have been an honest mistake on her part”

“She knew about FL though!”

“I don't care, you’re wrong”

“Yoon Gi” I cry out.

I wanted his help to make sense of all of this and also get some moral support, not to take Y/N’s side and tell me the truth so bluntly. We have been brothers since we were ten years old, which means I hope he will lie to me and spare my feelings — it’s called good manners.

“Tae Hyung” he mimicked me in a sarcastic tone, obviously making fun of my pain, “Listen, I’ll talk to my lawyers about this to see how we can reverse the deal. At least with FL. Losna doesn’t matter much”

Yoon Gi was always mature, sensible, and responsible, there was no way he would spare my feelings. Deep down I knew that and understood he was the only friend who could get me right on track. Did I enjoy our little dynamic? No. Did it work? Every goddamn time.

“What about your dad? What will you tell him once he finds out?” I asked, making Yoon Gi laugh.

“The truth” he replied.

I crossed my arms and stared at him in total disbelief, “You say it like it’s easy…”

“It's not easy at all, but unlike you, my friend, I have this thing called uh…” Yoon Gi paused dramatically looking around as if he had lost something in the armchair, “...balls, so it’ll be fine” he smiled, not showing his teeth.

“Ha ha, very funny” I slowly clapped my hands.

“I wasn't trying to be” his eyebrows arched in surprise, “Natural talent, perhaps?”

“Sure, let’s go with that” I scoffed, “Can your natural talent also help me get back on Y/N’s good side?”

Yoon Gi narrowed his eyes, “Is there more you’re not telling me? Did something else happen?”

This man knew me very well, so much so he knew exactly when I was hiding a piece of information. If I wanted his help, I should tell the full story with Y/N, not just the meeting/humiliation part, so that's how I spent the next fifteen minutes detailing our conversation (or should I say fight?) at the building's emergency stairs.

When I finished, Yoon Gi took a few seconds to digest it all and then tilted his head sideways, biting his lip, trying to read my body expression. “Why are you so desperate to get her back?” he finally asked.

Thank God, an easy question to answer. “Because she is the best and I need her”

“Nah, I don't think that's it” he shook his head and shifted his body, now sitting more on the edge of the chair with a smirk on his face.

“What? What are you trying to say?” I disputed.

“You like her” he pointed his fingers at me, the smirk still intact on his face.

“I what?”

“Like her” Yoon Gi repeated and chuckled as he leaned back in his armchair again, probably satisfied with his ridiculously inaccurate and delusional remark. Unbelievable.

“Since when do you get drunk with only two glasses of whiskey?” I wondered.

“Don't deflect, Tae Hyung”

“I'm not” I shrugged looking around. I wanted to leave so bad. “I don’t know where you got this impression but I don’t like her”

“Don't deny it, Tae Hyung” Yoon Gi rolled his eyes.

“Fine, I’ll play along” I took off my blazer feeling annoyed with this line of questioning, “What made you think I like Y/N?”

Yoon Gi wasted no time. “Gee, I don't know, maybe it has to do with the fact that you talk about her all the time?” he leaned in to pick up his whiskey from the table, “Or how you find any excuse to work late just to see her for a couple more hours?” he asked before taking a sip.

“No no, forget it, I think it's because she never let you shoot your shot, not even in college, and you are secretly obsessed with the tug of war you two play” he seemed to be talking to himself, “It irritates you so damn much but at the same time is exciting, isn't it?” he finally looked at me and smiled. “You hate being told no but she makes it cool, doesn't she?” he lifted the glass as if he wanted to make a toast.

I looked to the glass, then to his face, then back to the glass. What is happening? Where did he get all this from? Why so many details?

“You have to stop reading webtoons, I'm serious” was all I managed to say.

“How can you be this oblivious?” Yoon Gi snorted. “I’m actually a bit sad for you”

“I don't see why” I blinked, confused by his statement. “I'm fine, she's fine. We'll see each other tomorrow” I smiled, sipping some of my soju after raising the glass. This was something worthy of a toast.

“You poor thing. No you won’t, she won’t come back” he shook his head. “I’m sorry to be the one to break it down for you but not only is she ‘the one that got away’, she’s also an amazing professional who just got an amazing opportunity”

When I called Yoon Gi earlier tonight this was not what I had in mind. As time went by I felt worse about how unable I was to resolve the situation.

“Opportunity?”

Yoon Gi pursed his lips for a moment organizing his thoughts. “Y/N is free to do whatever she wants and, honestly, I don't blame her. Ten years with you would take a toll on anybody”

“We’ve known each other for twenty” I replied, pretending to be offended.

“I’m not anybody, first of all” it was Yoon Gi's turn to be fake offended “And you're like my little brother, so it's different” he crossed his legs.

I sank in the armchair imagining Y/N disappearing from my life and never stepping a foot on Vante again: a bitter taste came to my mouth and I felt my chest tighten. 

“You really think she would do that? You know, go work somewhere else?”

Yoon Gi blushed and shyly nodded, “I would if I was her”

But she can’t go. I made a stupid judgment call and it’s not a good enough reason for her to quit. Maybe there is something more she isn’t telling me. If I could just talk to her one more time, if she gave me another chance, I would shut the fuck up and listen. She could demand anything and I would give it to her. A raise? More vacation days? Less overtime? I am willing to do whatever to get her back.

Seeing my sad face, Yoon Gi added, “Give her some space, Tae. Actual space, okay? Don’t call her, don’t text her, and for God’s sake, don’t chase her down some stairs”

Yeah, he's right, I shouldn't be pushing too hard, but then how am I going to show her how sorry I am? Me and my fucking ego ruined everything, that's great.

“I think the first thing you need to do is figure out how you truly feel about her" Yoon Gi started once he noticed the shift in my mood, “I can talk all night long about the tiny details I noticed throughout the years but it won't make any difference because you have to look back and see it for yourself”

I could honestly feel how much Yoon Gi cared. His tone of voice was soft and even a bit sweet, leaving me with no choice but to lift my chin and meet his concerned and loving gaze.

“I can be wrong though, I don't know” he quickly added, uncrossing his legs and placing his hands on his lap. “To be honest I was waiting for the day when you would come up to me and tell you guys were finally a thing. I kinda hoped you were at least working on it at this point. It's been a decade in the making, maybe more” he laughed trying to lighten the mood.

“I-I don't know, man” I confessed.

It was strange for me to hear out loud that Y/N was different because I always knew she was, since and the first time we met. There was something about her that attracted me and at the same time drove me crazy. I hated the way she treated me, always acting like she was superior, but I loved the way her indifference encouraged me to be better and overcome my own limits.

I never felt the need to label our relationship because it had automatically been labeled as 'incompatible' from the get go. It didn't matter how beautiful I thought she looked in a ponytail while studying late at night at the college library, how I envied her attitude towards life or her extensive knowledge in any subject, nor the good relationship she had with all the teachers, classmates. and now Vante employees, Y/N and I were not close enough to create a bond, let alone a relationship. We had no time, opportunity or desire to, I suppose.

Her position in the company felt like meant to be one of my mom’s shenanigans so it was surprising how long it took for shit to hit the fan. At some point, we were bound to have a fight or even fall out for good but I guessed that would happen within the first two years, not now. Besides, in the ten years she spent here, three were dating a guy from London. On and off, of course.

How was I supposed to compete with him? Not that I thought about competing in the first place but if I hypothetically did I wouldn’t stand a chance. Even with me being obviously more handsome, successful, and richer than him, they had a bond and intellectual compatibility I could never match.

“It's okay,” Yoon Gi assured with his hand on my shoulder, “that's why I told you to give it some thought and figure it out. It's normal, you have been close for so long that it might be hard to distinguish at first”

That's it? 

I'm just used to thinking of Y/N as a partner and not as a potential lover? Is it okay to change my mind at some point? Does she even care? What would she say? Wait, what would I say to her? 

This is all happening so fast.

I'm scared.

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𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱 ❤ 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗹𝘆 𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝘀𝗸! 𝗶 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ revised version: 09.25.2021

drabble #54

seokjin x reader || angst || 806 words prompt: “i need more time” warnings: explicit mentions of physical injury rating: 18+ tags: established relationship, slice of life!au

Monday, 9:32 am and Jin had not experienced such despair in his entire life. He ran in, completely out of breath, and stopped in front of the wooden counter that said in large bold letters: Severance Hospital, Yonsei University.

“Hi, I’m Kim Seokjin and I’m looking for my wife. Someone from the hospital just called me and said she’s gotten into an accident and was brought here.”

A young woman with dark hair perfecly tied in a ponytail replied, “I was the one who called you, Mr. Kim. I’m Choi Eun Joo” she nodded and pointed with the clipboard to the adjoining corridor, "This way, Dr. Yoo is waiting."

"Mr. Kim?" the doctor standing in the middle of the hallway asked.

"Yes" Jin replied, approaching and bowing.

"I’m Dr. Yoo. I’ll be the one operating on your wife.”

"You mean surgery?" Jin looked at Eun Joo and back to Dr. Yoo, “What happened? Is she okay?"

"A truck suddenly cut her off on Expressway 171 and caused her car to collide sideways into the guard rail" he explained.

"Oh my god..." Jin put a hand over his mouth in total disbelief.

“She was found unconscious with a cut on her head, a fractured wrist, and injuries along her entire left side, especially the ribs” the doctor explained, “We just completed a CT scan and x-ray that confirmed that her lung was punctured."

"Pu-punctured?" Jin stuttered.

“Yes, by one of the ribs. The fracture in her wrist isn’t pretty either so I need to get her to surgery as soon as possible.”

"Alright" he ran his hands through his hair.

"When I'm done, I’ll come back to give you an update."

As soon as Jin bowed once again thanking Dr. Yoo and saw him disappear through the OR door, a horrible sensation ran down his spine and he had to sit in the nearest chair to keep from collapsing. His vision blurred and a high-pitched sound rang in his ears, increasing its volume until he felt disoriented.

"Are you okay?" Eun Joo approached, placing her hand on his shoulder.

"Yes, yes, thank you" Jin nodded.

"Nurse Choi, room 408" the hospital's sound system announced, "Nurse Choi, room 408."

Once the nurse left, Jin stood up and took a deep breath. What should he do now? It all happened so fast. The only thing he could think of was the argument he had had with his wife before they both left for work, how rude he was and how scared she must have been when the truck came towards her. She hated driving on the Expressway.

This was all his fault.

If they hadn’t argued, they wouldn’t have lost track of time, she wouldn’t need to go to work through the 171 to avoid being late and she would never have been in an accident. If he wasn’t such a proud guy his wife wouldn’t be laying on the operating table right now. Jin needed to focus! The next step was to sort out her paperwork. All he needed to do was go back the way he came from, turn left, go down the stairs and enter the second door towards the reception. She needed him more than ever.

However, Jin was so nervous he turned right instead of left. The second he realized the stairs weren’t there he freaked out and ran out down the hall, desperately opening all doors. In one of them, much to his surprise, there was a chapel inside.

Something told Jin to come in and sit down. He did so, closing the door behind him. The chapel was small with an extremely modern and clear design. The benches looked like marble and were arranged in three short rows. On the front wall, a single silver cross was illuminated by blue light.

"I need to calm down..." he said aloud, a little awkwardly, as he sat in the right corner of the first row. Jin intertwined his legs and lowered his head, letting all the tension come out in the form of warm, silent tears.

“I need more time” he suddenly sobbed, “Can you help me? I know we don't talk much, but I need to apologize to her. I need to say that I love her.”

Jin rubbed his eyes and looked at the cross.

"Please, I’m begging you. You are the boss, right? You make all the decisions, so tell her to be okay, then” he sniffed, “I shouldn't have said those things, I know, but please don't take her away from me. I promise that I’ll do better.”

Somebody opened the door and Jin immediately wiped his tears again and stood up. After greeting the person who entered, in silence, he looked at the cross one last time and thought: I’m counting on you.

07. a double-edged sword | reliability • kth

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pairing: taehyung x reader word count: 4.738 genre: drama, light angst rating: pg-13 warnings: cursing au: ceo/office trope: enemies to friends to lovers tags: ceo!taehyung, office!au, best friend!yoongi, unresolved emotional tension, mutual pining, slow burn crosspost: ao3

summary: over the course of a month, tae is forced to face his feelings in order to fix things with Y/N. but will he be able to? she has some news.

A/N: a double-edged sword: a situation or course of action having both positive and negative effects. in this particular chapter i wanted to show that even when you have the best intentions at heart, things might take an inexpected turn and get you back to square one

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≡ 24 hours later ≡

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Saturday. 11pm. I was trying so hard to fell asleep but my stupid and stubborn brain only knew how to repeat Y/N, Y/N, Y/N, over and over and over and over again — it was driving me nuts.

Yoon Gi helped. He truly did. I felt so much better after talking to him but to be completely honest he stirred some shit inside me too and I wasn't sure how productive the next few days were going to be. If I can't sleep, how am I supposed to focus on work? Y/N may have quit but I was still CEO and had a lot of people depending on me.

In the dark, the light beams that came in through the bedroom window made shadows with interesting shapes and I stared at the ceiling as if it was going to give me the answers I needed.

I took a deep breath.

They say there are 5 stages to grieving: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. I already went through 3 but out of order. Does that count?

At first, I tried to bargain with Y/N. No success there. Then I went to straight denial as Yoon Gi casually pointed out how dumb and blind I have been. Now I'm getting depressed because I don't really see a way out of this. Y/N is gone.

Another deep breath.

Maybe I should go make ramen.

In the kitchen, while setting everything up, I went over different conversations I had with Y/N over the years, looking for any hint that my subconscious could have given me that I genuinely liked her. It was still weird to talk about it so openly, even in my own head. Bringing to consciousness something that was asleep, for whatever reason, was uncomfortable.

I'm not sure why I made a point of burying the possibility inside me. Maybe because I believed she hated me (but if she hated you so much, why did she go to work for you?), maybe because I thought she didn't have time for a relationship (she didn't have time because you loaded her with work, idiot) or it was because I was simply afraid (this seems like the most logical option, congratulations). The dialogue with myself went on for a while until the ramen was just the way I like it and I ate out of the pan sitting at the dinner table.

What do I really feel for her?

Is it attraction? Admiration? Lust?

What do I like about her?

If I text Yoon Gi right now will he block me? Probably.

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≡ 1 week later ≡

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “You have been quiet since you got here, honey. Did something happen?” my mom asked as she calmly sliced her steak. Joining us at the table were my father, my brother, and his fiancee Hyun Jae.

“Don't tell me you lost the exclusivity deal with that Australian company” my dad sipped some of his wine while my mom gave an elusive nudge with her elbow making him almost spit his drink.

“No dad, I renewed the deal” I replied.

“So what happened?” my mom insisted, more concerned now, even making Ye Jun lookup.

“Nothing, nothing” I reaffirmed with a (fake) smile making her smile too. “Tell me about the wedding, Jun. Have you guys set the date yet?” I pointed the knife at my brother and my future sister-in-law.

“September 15th” Hyun Jae nodded sheepishly.

“Excellent! I will ask Eun Ae to block my schedule"

“Thank you, Tae” Ye Jun smiled.

“It will be here in Seoul, a classic but intimate ceremony. We are not going to invite many people, just the dearest ones” Hyun Jae explained. “Are you bringing someone?”

I think she must have asked the question that everyone there wanted to ask because the three heads immediately turned to me. My mom because she was curious, my father because he was surprised, and my brother because of Hyun Jae's boldness. Now it was his turn to nudge her with his elbow.

“You can bring someone, or not, it’s fine, we don't care” she laughed embarrassed. “I mean, we do care, you are very important, we are family…” she immediately corrected herself.

“Baby, I think he got it” Ye Jun put his hand on top of Hyun Jae's, making her stop and breathe. It was actually funny the way she blushed. My brother, poor guy, head over heels for her, admired every tiny detail on her face. They deserve each other.

“You should bring Y/N” my mom commented with a smirk as if she had said the most brilliant thing ever.

My dad looked at her a little surprised, “She's a good girl, but wouldn't she give the wrong impression?”

I didn't even have time to say anything, because my mom already intervened as if Y/N was her own daughter, “What do you mean wrong?”

“No, not like that” said my father, “She works at Vante, she is not Tae Hyung's girlfriend. People gossip, you know Soo Jin?”

“And what do you know about gossip, anyway?” my mom narrowed her eyes.

“I'm right here, guys” I remarked, “Doesn't my opinion count?”

“Right” my dad rolled his eyes at my mom and turned to me, “What do you think? Would she accept the invitation even though she only has a professional relationship with you?”

“Maybe, I'll have to ask her” I took another bite of my food. With my mouth full I can't spill out that Y/N no longer works at Vante. My father would kill me.

* * * *⠀

As I'm walking to the front door to grab my jacket and car keys after I said goodbye to my family, I hear footsteps approaching behind me. To no surprise at all, it was my mother.

“You used to stay longer, you know?” she stood beside me, snuggling to her beautiful peach cardigan. Her cheekbones had a light shade of pink and her hair was up in a ponytail. She looked so young.

“I'm sorry mom, I really have to go”

“But it's Sunday” she pouted, hugging my right arm and stopping me from putting the other side of the jacket on.

My mom had this adorable side that came out every once in a while, whenever she needed some attention. Didn't happen much, but at the same time, it made my heart grow bigger. It also made me a little bit sad too since I knew it was because she was feeling either sad or lonely.

“Yeah, I know, I wish I could but there's a lot to be done at the company and I have to prepare for a big meeting tomorrow” I (white) lied since I'm embarrassed about the actual reason why. A part of that statement was true though.

“I know that excuse all too well” my mom side-eyed me, letting go of my arm, “Your dad used to say it quite a lot”

More and more I see traits of my dad in me and I hate it. I swore from the beginning that I was going to be different. Better. Look at me treating my mom the same way he did for so many years. I'm pathetic.

“Can't you ask Y/N to help you or handle the meeting? Just this once” she pleaded, watching me put the car keys in the jacket’s front pocket, “Your brother's wedding it's in 6 weeks and I need to discuss some things with you before"

“Uh…” I paused for a second. I should have seen this question coming. “Y/N is very busy too” I shrugged nonchalantly.

My mom furrowed her eyebrows.

“Let me check my schedule” I quickly intervened, holding her by the shoulders, trying to change the subject, “I think I can come to dinner next Friday and we’ll talk about the wedding”

“Fine” she sighed in defeat.

I gave her a big box smile and a kiss on the forehead, “Okay, I gotta go now, mom”

As I was reaching for the doorknob she said, “Wait, just one more thing”

“Yeah?” I turned around.

She looked me dead in the eyes, cute attitude long gone. “Apologize to Y/N”

“W-what?” I stammered in shock.

“I don't know what you did, but just apologize” she pointed her finger at me as if I was five years old and just did something naughty.

“How did you…” I avoided her stare, letting out a nervous laugh.

“Whenever we asked about her you gave evasive answers” she said just before poking me in the chest, “And I know you"

This was my problem and I didn’t want my mom worrying about it. She had a tendency to want to solve everything for everyone and I suspect she would also like me to date Y/N. To this day, I don't know what her real intention was in insisting on hiring Y/N, but something tells me that it was love at first sight for my mother — unlike me, which was not even on the 8790th sight. If my mother could have chosen to have a daughter, I’m sure she would describe Y/N head to toe, flaws and all.

“Thanks mom but I'll find a way to fix it” I replied with a faint smile, barely holding it together. If she only knew how I was feeling inside.

“Oh, I know that, you always do” she gave me a wink, “Just remember to speak from the heart” and rubbed my chest.

“I did that. Didn't work"

“Are you sure?” she squinted her eyes.

“What do you mean? Of course!” I pulled away.

“Tae Hyung, you have a terrible way to communicate your feelings” she looked back at the living room making sure no one was close by to listen to the next part as she whispered, “and that's on me and your dad" I laughed and she returned to normal volume, “So I highly doubt you knew what you were doing”

“I asked her to stay, that I needed her there”

“Wait, why?” she grabbed my arm again and led me towards the door.

“She quit” I whispered as we crossed the threshold.

“What?” my mom shouted.

“Shh!!” I said while closing the door behind us and pulling her close to me as we walked to the driveway, “Yes, I fucked up really bad mom, but I know that if I can just talk to her one more time I'll convince her to change her mind”

“Where is she now?” my mom asked, lowering the hand that was over her mouth.

There’s no more hiding, I guess. I need to come clean.

“I don't know"

“Good God, Tae Hyung” she slapped my arm, “How in the world did you manage to lose your most devoted and talented employee?”

“By being an asshole” I confessed.

She rolled her eyes, “Lovely”

The moment we approach my car I suddenly turn around, desperation fully displayed on my face, “Can you just please keep this a secret? I'll figure something out, just don't tell dad yet”

My mom pondered for a few seconds. Not if she was going to tell my dad or not, because I knew she wouldn't do it, but what to say to me next. I could see in her eyes how worried she was and how badly she wanted to offer me some kind of solution (the family's problem solver, remember?). Instead, she just used the old-fashioned threat, “You better!”

“Now I really have to go” I gave her a hug. “I love you”

“I love you too” she squeezed me a bit tighter before taking a step back and cupping my face, “And remember: be honest. With her, and with yourself”

“I will…” I nodded, promising myself that as difficult as it was, I would try. My mom was right and that was good advice.

“And stop being an asshole” she moved her hands from my cheeks and rested them on my shoulders.

That was also another good piece of advice, although more difficult to execute, so I just laughed, “I will”

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≡ 1 month later ≡

 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Right after I got out of the shower, while still drying my hair, I noticed my phone light up and vibrate over the sink. It took me a few seconds to register the name that appeared in large letters at the top: Y/N. I threw the towel away and picked up the device as fast as I could, almost dropping it on the floor. Desperate was an understatement.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Are you at home?” she asked, which I immediately replied with a grunt which made her continue, “Can I come in? We need to talk”

The tone in Y/N's voice was serious but didn’t show anger as I thought it would; not like that day on the emergency staircase, at least. I ran over to the intercom and saw her on the camera. The request was surprising, the time even more so. It wasn't like her to show up here at my house, so whatever she had to talk about it must be urgent. Okay, Y/N was the topic of conversation, but something stirred inside me and I started to feel restless.

“Sure” I replied, pressing the button that opened the gate and ending the call right away.

She caught me so off guard and I didn't even have time to put clothes on! I was still in my bathrobe. Damn, this doesn't seem appropriate. As soon as I heard the front door open, I ran into the bedroom and put on the first outfit I saw, a set of black sweats.

Back in the living room, Y/N was sitting on the couch with her elbows resting on her thighs and her chin in her hands, swinging back and forth. Was she nervous or just bored?

“Ah, hello!” I coughed first to announce my presence, “Sorry, I just got out of the shower”

“That’s okay” she straightened up and smiled, watching me walk around the couch and sit, “I should have given you a heads up before coming and not simply show up at your doorstep”

“You are always welcome” I adjusted the glasses on the bridge of my nose, still unsure of what to say next and somewhat afraid of what she had to tell me, “Did something happen?”

Y/N took a deep breath.

Oh-oh, that doesn't sound good.

“Over the past few weeks, I thought a lot about what happened, about the things I said and, especially about the things I didn't say” she looked away, now staring at the tv on the wall in front of us. “Do you remember that acquisition in Hong Kong?”

It took me a few seconds to pinpoint the memory but I smiled when I did, “Sure, it was your first international purchase”

That day Y/N was so happy and I remember thinking ‘It's just another purchase, why is she smiling so much?’, without even considering how meaningful it must have been for her.

“Yes, but what I remember most vividly about that day was the way you treated me” her gaze now returned to me, nostalgic and a kind of sad, “I felt invincible because you believed that I could be invincible” she smiled without showing her teeth as if the memory itself was a little painful to talk about.

“I thought you knew” I replied frowning, “You always acted like you were” I chuckled and Y/N blushed.

“Apparently, we never properly recognized how alike we are and how we have influenced each other over the years, have we?” she asked.

I thought about it for a moment, “Yeah, I guess you’re right”

“Everything has always been so implicit” she nodded, “At least for me…”

“Of course, for me too. I was never big on words, you know that” I agreed.

“Maybe that was our mistake too” she observed, suddenly making me understand exactly what this conversation was about. Watching my reaction closely, she continued, “You know what I'm talking about, don't you?”

I knew, of course I did, but it is so difficult to say it out loud.

“My inability to say thank you?” I teased, trying to be funny, too much of a coward to keep going. Why am I like this? Why do I have to make things more complicated? It's so simple. She is so simple.

“I was talking about how we both took each other's trust for granted and ended up abusing certain situations, thinking it would be okay and just brushing them off when in fact the chance of us getting hurt and feeling betrayed was pretty big” Y/N shrugged, “but sure, you can be really ungrateful”

Shit.

I must have spent a lot of time staring at my feet, searching for the right words, because she took advantage of my silence to keep talking.

“Precisely because I knew you trusted me so much, it didn't even cross my mind to consult you on such a small acquisition and, at that time, very insignificant and disconnected of Min Industries, because I had done it before” she paused and glanced back at me just to make sure that I was following along. “You, on the other hand, thought that I would stay, even after I was humiliated and hurt because that wasn’t the first time that we disagreed on something and you put on a little show”

Yup, she called me on my bullshit. I really took our relationship for granted. When I think of the selfish way in which I made certain decisions or how I treated her, it almost seems like an out-of-body experience. It is as if I look at myself and couldn’t recognize the person in front of me.

“My mistake was to assume that you knew and respected me enough not to use me as a pawn in a pathetic power scheme” Y/N continued, now with a little more urgency in her voice, “And yours was that I was going to tolerate this behavior forever and quietly; a bit submissively too”

She got up and started pacing around the room, “I should have told you that your attitude bothered me but I was busy and naively waiting for that Hong Kong Tae Hyung to appear. The one who was kind, empathetic, and also funny” she seemed lost in thought but not for long. She then regained focus and asked me with bitterness in her voice, “I wanted to be your friend, wasn’t it obvious?”

“No, quite the opposite” I snapped.

“Since college”

“What?” I widened my eyes, “You ignored me in college"

“Because in the few interactions we had, you always found a way to criticize me”

“Wait, you criticized me” I said, getting up and pointing a finger at Y/N.

She watched me do this and pointed her finger back, stammering a little bit, “I-I did it because you did it first”

“I'm so confused…” I massaged my temples as I walked towards the kitchen. Water, I need water.

Y/N was right behind me. She stopped in front of the island and watched me open the fridge. “You really have no idea what's going on around you, do you? Always oblivious”

“I don’t do it on purpose, Y/N” I justified, slamming the door and opening the bottle of water. My voice came out a little harsh because of the mocking tone she had used before — I couldn't help it, this is how we communicate. She noticed.

“But it doesn't hurt any less because of it” she whispered, lowering her head and staring at the counter.

Even after I realized my reaction was exaggerated and being completely aware that this was the whole point of the conversation, I couldn't hold back the following words and kind of shouted, “Is that what you wanted to tell me? At this hour of the night? That I’m a bad person? Thanks, I got the memo”

Y/N took a deep breath, “I'll let this one slide”

Does she want to lay all the cards on the table? Great, let’s do it.

“You know what?” I started, taking a quick sip of water and closing the bottle, “I've been waiting to hear from you for over a month. I was desperate thinking that something had happened. Now you show up here, late at night, with what I thought would be an explanation or at least a productive conversation, but no” I faced Y/N, my hands resting on the cold marble, fingertips gripping the edge tightly. “What do you want?”

“To tell you straight up I’m tired” she replied without any emotion in her voice, “I'm tired of your games, trying to understand your obsession with rules, sympathizing with your family problems, giving my blood sweat, and tears for Vante, acting like your work wife, giving up quality time with my family or any possibility of personal life” she shifted the weight from one leg to the other and tilted her head a little to the side, “I just wanted you to see me as worthy”

“Worthy?” I asked.

“Worthy of your time, of your friendship, and who knows, maybe something more” Y/N ended with a humorless laugh, the kind you give after hearing something absurd or a bad joke.

“Something more?” I blinked trying to assimilate the information.

Y/N rolled her eyes, “Don't try to be funny now”

“Promise I’m not” I raised both hands.

“Tae Hyung, for God's sake, the tension between us is palpable, it always has been. Can you honestly tell me you didn't feel it?” she leaned over the island and grabbed the water bottle in front of me and drank right away.

“Well, yes... I did” I scratched my head, “but you are so hard to read…”

“That's because you never bothered to get to know me. Not really” she capped the bottle and tossed it back to me, “Back in college you made sure to put up a wall between us. I don't even know you”

“What are you talking about?” I grabbed the bottle with one hand in a quick reflex, “You’re the person who knows me the best, Y/N” I pointed the bottle back at her.

“You only get that impression because we spent hours on end together, but when was the last time you told me anything personal?”

Wait, that was a valid question. When was the last time? I'm sure it wasn't that long ago. Hold on, I'll remember. It was that day... no, it was that time...

“See?” she crossed her arms, taking advantage of my inner monologue.

“We’re digressing” I walked around the kitchen, returning to the couch, “What is this worthy thing all about? Do you…” I paused as I sat down, biting my bottom lip “Do you like me?” I asked.

Y/N, still in the kitchen, laughed to herself before slapping the island's surface, “Out of everything I said, is this the part you’re focusing on?”

“Oh I'm sorry if I'm a little shocked by the ton of information you just dumped on me” I said in a sarcastic tone, getting up from the couch feeling the adrenaline running through my body, it was impossible to stay still. “It’s obvious that I had no idea that you felt so bad working at Vante, if I had known I would have done something about it. I never wanted or expected you to give up your life for me or the company, now I feel bad”

“It is what it is” she put her hands in the front pockets of the plaid maxi blazer and walked towards me.

“No, it doesn't work like that” I shook my head “It’s like you don't know the basics”

Then that's it. We reached the point of no return. With each new information Y/N revealed, more urgent was my need to make everything clear. I was scared as hell, but we had no choice. Either we talked about how we really felt or we would end our relationship for good.

“You can't come to my house and say everything you want to say and hope that I don't say anything back. The last month was a fucking nightmare for me, I replayed that night over and over in my head, dissecting all my answers and finding three new ones, because I knew I made the biggest mistake of my life” I felt like my heart was going to come out of my mouth, blood pumping in my ear, my hands were starting to sweat, “If I could go back in time, I would, but I can’t. And where were you for me to properly apologize?”

“I needed some time” she muttered.

“Yes, I understand, I don’t blame you. But now you’re here. Let's talk!”

Y/N was still standing behind the couch, her facial expression impassive, just waiting for what I was going to say next. I, on the other hand, had already taken off my glasses and moved to the front of the tv, walking back and forth in an attempt to calm down a little and choose the right set of words.

“I know I already said it, but I’m gonna say it again, I shouldn't have humiliated you in front of the shareholders, let alone questioned your trust or loyalty to me and Vante. For that and also for being an absolute jerk most of the time, I sincerely apologize”

Y/N nodded.

“It was never my intention to hurt you, drive you away, or disrespect you. You are the person I admire the most within the company. That day I saw the perfect opportunity and went for it. I thought that if I showed the shareholders that even the “boss’s favorite” didn’t have privileges, of course, they wouldn’t” I said calmly and slowly so that she had time to absorb everything.

“I am obsessed with rules because they help me find order amid chaos” I continued, “I’m terrible with surprises. I hate the feeling of helplessness that comes attached to error. My perfectionist nature limits me more than it helps and if I could change something about myself it would be that”

I walk towards Y/N, the only thing between us is the couch.

“Believe me, I didn’t make a conscious choice to use them as an obstacle to anything, including a relationship. I'm sorry for that too” I rubbed my eyes, taking a deep breath.

“About telling you things about my personal life, I honestly thought you didn't care at all” I looked up to meet her eyes, “Even before Vante, you never seemed to care about me that way” I put my hands in my sweatshirt pocket, “You mentioned the wall I put up, but you must have helped me build it because I also know very little about your life. Have you noticed that?”

Y/N was speechless. From her reaction, I could see I struck a nerve. She was too focused on pointing out my defects and forgot to recognize her own.

“Huh…” she said, narrowing her eyes after thinking for a while, “I think you’re right. Better late than never then”

“What?”

“Eric proposed to me” Y/N stated.

I shake my head, suddenly dizzy by what I just heard. Torn between confusion, despair, and a nervous breakdown, I feel like screaming and laughing at the same time because if I heard her correctly it is ridiculous. 

“Are you serious?”

Was Y/N testing me? I thought she liked me. Up until three minutes ago, that was what she made me believe. I’m not crazy, she said 'something more’, didn't she? So how could she be marrying another guy? And that stupid englishman of all people? It must be a joke.

“Didn’t you want me to tell you about my personal life? This is personal” Y/N crossed her arms, “Eric proposed to me”

“Okay, you are serious” I said to myself, “What did you say?” I turned my face to her, a pleading look on my face. At that moment it was impossible to read her expression and the silence was killing me, “Did you accept, Y/N?”

“Yes”

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𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱 ❤ 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗹𝘆 𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝘀𝗸! 𝗶 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ revised version: 09.25.2021

hi, i saw your post and wanted to tell you that i’m excited for the following chapter of reliability!

i also want to send you a virtual hug after what you said about adult life and being too tired to write, i understand completely... i hope you can relax soon and be able to find time for yourself in this very overwhelming world 🥺🤍

in the best way, i love this fic... i’m so thankful for your brain for writing it and sharing it! (and please never ever feel pressed to write, take your time!!)

juliette, hiii 🥺 first of all, let me hug you right back bc this is such a lovely message! i’m smiling so big right now

thank you for being excited and loving reliability as much as i do. it’s so fun and rewarding to write knowing amazing ppl such as yourself will read it

your kind words and support will never go unnoticed or unappreciated. please stay healthy and safe! don’t be a stranger, let’s keep in touch

xx

08. hanging by a thread | reliability • kth

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pairing: taehyung x reader word count: 2.909 genre: drama, light angst rating: pg-13 warnings: cursing au: ceo/office trope: enemies to friends to lovers tags: ceo!taehyung, office!au, best friend!yoongi, unresolved emotional tension, mutual pining, slow burn crosspost: ao3

summary: tae is conflicted between following yoongi's advice and respecting Y/N decision to move on with another man. which one will he choose?

A/N: definitely one of my favorite chapters :’) with the story nearing its end, i had to continue the build up and create a curve that would lead to the apex (which will come in chapter 9). hope you like it!!

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“I guess I should probably go…” was the first thing Y/N said after a few minutes of complete silence. I was leaning against the tv wall with my forehead pressed against the cold marble and eyes tightly shut. I knew she was starting to get uncomfortable and I desperately wanted to say something to make the situation less uncomfortable. Oh well.

“Are you coming back to Vante?” I asked slightly banging my head to make the imminent headache that was beginning to form go the fuck away.

“No, why?” she quickly replied, sounding genuinely confused.

I immediately turned around, “But I apologized”

“You’re missing the point — again” Y/N said annoyed, “It’s not about that. It’s about what’s best for me right now”

“Running away, you mean?” I crossed my arms and took a few steps closer to her.

“Choosing” she got up from the couch with her purse already hanging from her shoulder, ready to leave. “For the first time in a long time, this is something I chose, for myself. Not for you, not for my family, not for anybody”

I think she has a point. After how honest she was today, I can only accept that she no longer wants to work with me, let alone have me in her life, but it's hard. I never thought we would reach this point. Although she didn't consider us friends, I feel like I'm losing one and it’s the weirdest feeling ever. I don't even know what I can possibly say to reverse this situation and make sure that at least we keep in touch from time to time, like college buddies I guess. 

Jesus, this is so lame. I don’t know if I can do it.

The crazy part is that, for a millisecond, I saw something sad in her eyes. Like she didn't want to go away or maybe she regretted this decision. Unfortunately, I can't hang my hopes on a hunch. I shouldn’t have hopes in the first place, she made that very clear tonight.

“I’ll have your paperwork ready by monday morning. Can you swing by the office?”

“Yes, thank you!”

The relief tone she used stung.

“I’m gonna go now” Y/N announced and I moved out of the way taking a couple steps back to let her through.

“I’ll walk you out”

“Don’t worry about it” she gave me a faint smile, “I know the way”

I feel a mixture of contempt, sadness, and shame. She doesn't even wanna be close to me. It's like I don't know her anymore, I'm shocked. I can't even accompany her for the last time, say a proper goodbye. Would I ever see her again?

Before she reached the front door I decided to turn my back so I wouldn't have the image of her leaving engraved in my brain forever. If I didn’t see it then it didn’t happen, it’s not real, she didn’t leave for good, just temporarily.

Entering my bedroom, I grabbed my phone lying on the bed and texted Yoon Gi.

kim taehyung | 11:23pm: she’s gone gone  min yoongi | 11:25pm: what? kim taehyung | 11:25pm: y/n. she left for real this time min yoongi | 11:26pm: why? kim taehyung | 11:29pm: she’s getting married

As soon as I pressed send I knew it would get a reaction out of him and I laughed out loud when my phone rang announcing his call coming through.

“What the fuck?” Yoon Gi bluntly started.

“Yes” I chuckled.

“You’re kidding right?”

I moved up the bed and laid down, propping one of my arms behind my head, “Wish I was”

“Hold on. How is she getting married? To whom? Was she even dating?”

“To some English guy named Eric”

“English?” he sounded disgusted.

“Well, he’s half Korean. His parents moved to England before he was born” I stared at the ceiling recalling the time when I first found this out.

“How do you know that?” Yoon Gi asked like he read my mind.

“Google”

“Taehyung…”

He will think I’m crazy.

“Fine, a private investigator”

“Just because she is marrying him?”

See? Crazy people behavior alert.

“God no, I’m not a psycho” I explained, “I had him check out the first time he appeared, a few years ago. He’s Y/N college boyfriend”

“So you know him”

“No. Technically they met at the MBA program in London not in college but it was around the same time we graduated so who cares…Anyway, one day he showed up at the office to pick her up and she introduced him as her boyfriend”

I remember like it was yesterday, dark hair, bangs almost on his eyes, a kind smile. A full-on goody-goody. Too perfect to be real, raising the biggest red flag on my book of weirdos.

“I thought it was very strange she hadn’t mentioned a boyfriend before so I had him check out just to make sure he wasn’t a serial killer or something, you know?” I continued.

“And at that moment you didn’t realize you had feelings for her?” the way Yoon Gi asked the question I knew he was furring his eyebrows behind the phone.

“What?”

“Please, who does that? You actually paid a guy to look into another guy because of a girl. A girl that was just your employee, by the way. Don’t you think it screams ‘I’m-in-love-with-you-and-incredibly-jealous-of-this-relationship-you-suddenly-have’?”

“Now I do,” I scratched my head and sat up, “at the time I thought I was just being nice and looking out for a female employee. You know how many weirdos exist these days”

“Right…”

I let out a loud sight and got out of bed. Yoon Gi was doubting my intentions and, even though I was unconsciously already interested in Y/N at the time, what I did was perfectly okay. I didn’t do it because I was jealous nor was I trying to sabotage their relationship.

“Did you at least confess your feelings?” he asked.

I paced around the room a little bit before answering, “Not exactly”

“What do you mean not exactly? Either you did or you didn’t”

“We kinda argued about some stuff, then acknowledged we had sexual tension and next thing I knew she was telling me how ever since college she wanted to be my friend or even more”

“Yah!!!!” Yoon Gi yelled, making me almost drop my phone.

“What, what?”

“If I was next to you right now I’d punch you in the face”

“Why?” I asked, kneeling in front of the bed and putting my phone on speaker. Yoon Gi knew how to be scary sometimes.

“I can’t believe she said this and you didn’t confess” he grunted, “That was your cue! What’s wrong with you?” I could hear the non-existent facepalm from miles away. He was disappointed in me, I knew it. Bet he’s thinking how our conversation at the pub didn’t mean shit for me, but it did.

“I apologized though” I paused to get a reaction, staring at the phone. “Wholeheartedly!” I added.

Sometimes I felt like a little boy asking his father's approval. I never did that with mine but I found myself doing it with Yoon Gi every now and then. I always wanted to be cool in his eyes.

“Okay, that’s actually good”

I silently mouthed a thank you and fixed my posture to sit cross-legged in front of my phone to talk to Yoon Gi as if he was on my bed.

“Yeah, but then as I was gathering the courage, trying to find a way to approach the subject she was like since you wanna know about my personal life, I’m engaged, how’s that for personal? and I was just standing there like are you serious?”

I may have mimicked her voice and my voice for theatrical purposes, which made Yoon Gi laugh. He could be so annoying sometimes, I swear. 

“Why you laughing?”

“I’m imagining the look on your face”

“Thanks”

“Go on…” he said, obviously trying to hold his laugh.

“That was basically it. She said it was her choice and I pondered a little bit before agreeing and saying I would have her resignation papers drafted and ready by monday morning”

“Wait, so she’s not coming back?” Yoon Gi’s tone went back to serious.

“Oh yeah, no" I shrugged.

“Wow, you’re fucked” he clicked his teeth.

“Yup” I agreed, infatuating the ‘p’.

“Personally and professionally” he reiterated.

“Big time”

“I don’t know what to say to you right now”

“I was counting on your advice, to be honest” I tittered.

“Now that you thought about your feelings and is sure about them, you have to tell her”

“Yoongi,” I got up and started gesticulating towards the phone as if he could see me, “she’s getting married!”

Did I not tell the story right? Was he not following along?

“She’s not married yet”

He got me there. If we are going to stick to technical terms, I guess Yoon Gi is right.

“On monday morning, when she stops by to get the papers, just tell her” he suggested.

I don't know, there is something about not respecting the boundaries she imposed half an hour ago that doesn't sit right with me. On the other hand, what made me equally uneasy was how sad she seemed when she left.

“It won’t make any difference” I scoffed, sitting down next to the phone and biting my thumb nail.

“You don’t know that” Yoon Gi reprimanded me.

“I don’t think she’ll like it very much” I shook my head nervously.

Come to think of it, she has been sad ever since our talk in the emergency staircase.

“You don’t know that either” he pointed out.

“Isn’t it just rude? I know she’s with another guy and she made it very clear tonight that she doesn’t want to be in any form of relationship with me. She didn’t even let me walk her out!”

“Stop making excuses for yourself and decisions for her. Just tell her. You’ll feel better, I promise”

“Doubtful” I said, face between my hands, the sound coming off a little bit muffled. I don’t know if Yoon Gi heard me or not. He’s right, I know he is, but I just can’t do it. She’ll just start to hate me and if there’s one thing I’m not willing to lose is her respect.

“Listen to me, don’t listen to me, I don’t care. You know I don’t care” he said, “All I know is that you guys would’ve been great together and you’ll definitely regret it not even trying”

“Damn” I looked at the phone.

“What?” he chuckled, “Too harsh?”

“Not more than usual”

That made me smile. Yoon Gi has always been the type of friend who said what needed to be said instead of what you would like to hear. At the beginning of our friendship, I misunderstood his advice for personal criticism especially tailored to hurt my ego. As I got to know him better, I learned his sincerity was a gift and was always accompanied by the best intentions. He really cared. Not about if I liked or not or what I was going to do per se, but how much I was going to let the problem affect me. 

Yoon Gi is an empathic guy, although he doesn't seem like it at first. He is always thinking about how to help other people feel better and I am very grateful to have him in my life. He knows that even if I don't take the majority of his advice, I have too much respect for him to not at least consider what he has to say.

“I was going for painful” he jokes.

“I appreciate you” I smile again.

“I know you do”

“Talk to you soon”

“Bye!”

After ending the call, I had a lot to think about. I needed a plan to talk to Y/N on monday, I couldn't just confess my feelings out of the blue. It's late and I'm too tired. I'll deal with it tomorrow.

******

As soon as I turn left on the street, I can see my house and relief runs through my body. I can't wait to take a shower and sleep! Airplanes are so uncomfortable. But wait, the lights are on.

After parking, I climb the short flight of stairs that connects the garage to the main house and go out into the corridor, instantly being greeted by the delicious smell of something being baked.

“Hi, I’m back!” I say in a sing-song voice, taking off my shoes.

“In the kitchen” a female voice shouts.

Heading in the direction of the voice, and thinking about what I'm probably going to eat, I walk into Y/N separating some ingredients on the island and picking up the mixer.

“What are you doing?” I ask confused.

“Baking a cake?” she replies with a ‘duh’ expression.

I didn't know Y/N liked to cook, I'm quite shocked she is here. How did she get in? I don't remember giving her the keys.

“Okay, and since when do you bake?” I teased taking off my jacket and throwing it on the couch.

She looked up, pointing the spatula at me, “Since the man that I love decided he didn’t want a birthday party”

I smiled and she continued preparing what I gathered was the frosting. I'll never get sick of hearing her say those words. It gives me goosebumps and fills my chest with the warmest, most amazing feeling.

“It’s not that big of a deal” I shrugged.

It really wasn't. I don't care much about my birthday. I used to when I was younger. Once I rented a yacht for the weekend, another time I took my friends to Greece, another year I went to Vegas with Yoon Gi. It's funny to see how priorities change over time because these things sound so trivial right now and don't appeal to me anymore. I did it for fun, not because the fact that I was born was an important event. It was just a date on the calendar where I was allowed to go crazy.

Y/N, however, didn’t see it that way.

“To me it is!”

Inside the bowl in front of her was this beautiful, soft-looking white mixture that made my mouth water and I quickly reached my hand to scoop a little bit.

“This looks good, can I have a tas—” I was interrupted with a slap on my hand.

“No!”

“Ouch” I laugh.

“I’m not done yet” she laughs too and I roll my eyes. Just a tiny bit wouldn’t make a difference, she knows that! Looks so tasty.

“If you behave, I have a surprise set up for you later” she smirked.

“Oh really?” I hugged her from behind, putting my hands on her stomach and leaving a kiss on her cheek. She hummed in response and kept smiling while stirring the mix.

“Can’t wait” I whispered in her ear before kissing her naked shoulder, which unfortunately wasn’t for long thanks to a stupid alarm that started ringing nonstop.

“Aren’t you gonna get that?” Y/N asked me and I shook my head in the crook of her neck. “Tae!” she laughs, “Your phone is ringing”

All of a sudden I feel sad for some reason, “I wanna stay here with you”

Y/N immediately stops stirring the mix and turns around to face me, displaying the most loving look in her eyes as she smiles and hugs me, “But baby, I’m not going anywhere”

And just as seamless it started, seamlessly it ended. When I turned around to pick up my phone and answer it, I suddenly found myself in another place, now totally dark and Y/N was nowhere near. This is actually my bedroom, 4:12 am. It was all a dream.

I sat on the bed, took a few deep breaths, ran my hands over my face and hair, forcing myself to get back to reality and fully wake up from the best and most realistic dream I’ve ever had. It was like a taste of what my life could have been with Y/N if only I had realized my feelings sooner. I hate myself for wasting so much time and energy fighting and suppressing it.

I squeezed my eyes shut trying to remember every detail of her face as she smiled at me. I don't think I have ever gotten this close in real life and wonder how I managed to visualize those beautiful eyes so clearly. Especially the way they formed wrinkles on top of her cheekbones when she smiled and the way her lips practically begged to be kissed.

She seemed so happy with me. And she was baking a cake, for God’s sake. I don’t even like cake that much and yet she made them look like the best creation mankind came up with. Who knew a dream could leave you this worked up. No, stop! I have to remind myself that it isn’t real. She’s not mine, she’s marrying somebody else.

She’s not married yet.

Yoon Gi's voice pops up in my head and that statement is the only thing I can think of as I lie down again and try to go back to sleep. I don’t think I’ll be able to wait until monday to talk to her. I can’t hold it in anymore.

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𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱 ❤ 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗹𝘆 𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝘀𝗸! 𝗶 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ revised version: 09.25.2021