Before 2023 End Anyone Wanna Tell Me If They're The Thing

before 2023 end anyone wanna tell me if they're the thing

Other people: *mocking the assumed foolishness and negligence of Clockwerk to knowingly pull a Batman’s parents on Sly Cooper* *complaining about what is assumed to be a cheap writing excuse to explain Sly’s survival of the Fiendish’s Five’s attack on his home*

Me: But actually? No? It wouldn’t have been smarter on Clockwerk’s part to “finish the job” with Sly back then. Clockwerk pigeonholed himself into a fruitless job that is not meant to be finished.

Like if you really want to ponder on it, Clockwerk could be forced, in a way, to ensure the continuation of the cooper line, not the end of it. When you define and depend your whole existence on that which you hate, what do you have left when the object of your ire is no more? Clockwork would have died if his hate was ever allowed to diminish or find resolution. He’s like a ghost bound only to his power and body by a single remaining tether, and that tether is the drive to tread on the grave of the Cooper Clan’s legacy.

He doesn’t loathe them personally, he hates everything they represent and stand for, because he once envied it to the point of madness. That’s why he sundered the Thievious Raccoonus and left our Cooper untouched. He told you so himself. Notice how coincidentally the attack was timed on the very day Sly was meant to inherit the book? It was all about letting the boy learn what it meant to be a Cooper and then ripping away from him the access to everything his ancestors learned and built to help him carry that torch.

This gamble of his, this experiment he planned out that involved letting Connor’s son escape the slaughter, that’s the way he keeps himself going while staring down the barrel of the only real threat to his immortality. Killing them all, he reckoned in his centuries of reflection, wouldn’t fulfill his vendetta. He wanted to prove without any shadow of doubt that there was nothing about the Coopers that made them inherently superior to him- who himself was once only an owl. He was after their reputation. Murder was one of many methods, but complete humiliation was the actual goal. Clockwerk was probably snickering to himself all the way from the volcano for years, giddy at the thought of this child he reduced from the son of a master thief to an orphaned pauper. What he wanted was for Sly to live on… live on and be the last pathetic, miserable shred of the Cooper memory that Clockwerk could compare himself to once he has achieved everything him and the Five had set out to accomplish.

Giving their line the final glory of a tragic and sudden end like that after one unlucky slip of Connor’s vigilance was more than he could stomach. His greatest enemies don’t deserve to be remembered with that honor intact. Had Sly moved on and done literally anything else with his life but successfully take up that mantle and reap revenge, then the bird would have won. He would have never been bothered again by the owl either, I bet. Clockwerk just had to take that (astronomically unlikely) risk to see the boy’s potential through. It’s the only reason that dark force has kept him going literally up to and through the second game.

He eepy and the flying alien shoes are on bright mode :[

Among many things you didn’t expect you would obtain after getting into pest control: An intense fear/love relationship with box turtles

Lemme explain, box turtles are neat. They’re beautiful, they’re cute, often times it would be the highlight of my shift to come across one of them. Thing is, you had to move them away from the areas to be treated if you spotted one, because nobody wins when you blast some innocent reptile in the face with insecticides. Nothing particularly dangerous for them at the levels of exposure I’m talking about, but probably very irritating and uncomfortable, especially in the eyes. As with all animals except the target you do your best to minimize accidental contact and check your surroundings well. Unfortunately, their natural camouflage works REALLY well in fallen leaves, and way more times than I would have liked, I wouldn’t even see them until I was basically about to step on it. Basically anytime I would miss one during the initial scan and then notice it later in the middle of a treatment, it would be a whole jumpscare experience. At one point, I was even lucky enough to find the remains of one- a mostly cleaned, completely intact shell. Still have it preserved in my room now. Those funky little guys were one of my favorite things about that gig. Hope you can tell why.

Hysterical that Dib takes this whole “Earth’s Savior”, Men in Black, alien-fighting larp he’s got going on against Zim so seriously, and then the very second he had the guy’s actual leaders on a video call, it took one insult to turn him back into an average 12 year old threatening to swat someone over an online game match.

Remember this, from “The Nightmare Begins?”

Zim’s constantly the butt of the show’s humor for being such a bad and unsubtle invader but honest to god as if Dib could do much better in his position if this is what first contact with the enemy rulers looks like. At least the Resisty tried.

Like I know I’ve made this exact joke before but it’s forever so fucking funny to me picturing Red and Purple bracing themselves for another one of Zim’s “reports” and getting this instead

Like all else aside wtf would Dib even do if he knew Irk’s location? Fly his dumbass out to the homeworld and make like he’s the Goblinslayer? Send spy probes out to somewhere that took a Voot Cruiser 6 months just to travel to Earth from? Buddy you didn’t even have the Tak Ship working out at this point yet why are you like this hfhfhhfhf??? Kid’s such a mess someone come get him