John Carpenters The Thing - Tumblr Posts
before 2023 end anyone wanna tell me if they're the thing
Finally watched John Carpenter's The Thing. It was good!
Beastars and The Thing crossover.
*tosses you the thing art as if people haven’t drawn this one poster like a thousand times*
I almost want to poke them with hot copper wire
Dr Seuss style horror by DrFaustusAU
Halloween Film Frightstival Day 3: John Carpenter’s The Thing (1982)
Initial thoughts:
1. Holy 80’s computer animation Batman
2. The pupper already has my heart and soul, is just a happy little snow dog running in the snow, can do no wrong (for the record I maintain that Cujo did nothing wrong as well)
3. Oops I forgot that I think Kurt Russell in the 80s was kinda hot
4. The chef guy on the roller skates is gonna die (maybe first), calling it now
5. I know it’s supposed to be scary, but the concept of bloodcicles is strangely amusing to me
I know the costume department can’t cover the lead actors faces but these men are seriously underdressed for Antarctica, where’s that meme of that Irish kid talking about frostbit when you need it?
80’s movie? Flamethrower. Always with the flamethrower.
This is on par with The Fly for proof that 80s practical effects are a million times grosser than modern CGI stuff
Old white doctor man with a nose ring is a vibe and a half
Oh my god the defibrillator going straight through the guy’s chest and the ribs just munching the doctor’s hands off was probably supposed to be scary a la the chest scene in Alien, but I was legitimately cackling
The guy sticking his fingers through the other guy’s face was actually a really cool effect, it reminded me of Cassandra Nova fingering everybody’s brains in Deadpool and Wolverine, except with special effects makeup instead of CGI
Okay I totally didn’t get bored and zone out in the middle part of the movie (except I did because it was just a lot of dudes grumbling at and blaming each other, there were no stakes, I could hardly keep the characters straight and didn’t care about any of them)
I also lowkey zoned out during the very end because I didn’t realize it was the end, I hate when movies just end abruptly like that. So I don’t actually know if my prediction about roller skate guy dying was right oh well
The action was very actiony, over the top and at times overacted. The effects are really good, but the gore was way too cheesy to actually be scary. I mean come on there were like 30 seconds straight of a very obvious mannequin being eaten head first by a creature while flailing about and fake blood spraying everywhere, that’s so silly. I think the creature stuff could’ve been really scary if I couldn’t visually see the texture of whatever clay material they crafted them out of, it was really impressive as art, not so much as something designed to give me the heebie-jeebies.
It wasn’t bad per se but it wasn’t good either. The special effects and prop stuff were really good, but the plot, writing, characters, acting, etc were extremely mid. It’s gonna be a meh from me dawg 🫤