Angry Scotsman

Angry Scotsman

Characters: Reader, Merlin, Harry Hart, Roxy Morton and Eggsy Unwin Warnings: swearing Tags: @cyber-nya @whirlybirbs @missredherring @kingsman-fam @imaginethekingsman @im-an-elf99 @multifandommandy @fishofmordor A/N: Based off this video. I’m in literal tears what the hell am I doing

The one time Merlin joins you all on a group field mission, he gets himself into one of the most…unique situations. None of you knew how, or why, or what the hell happened. 

Merlin got himself stuck on a fucking rooftop.

One minute, you was all descending from a rather small rooftop, one by one. The next thing you know, you hear “The one time I come on a fuckin’ mission.” In a familiar Scottish drawl, and you all spin around on your heels to be faced with Merlin crouched on a rooftop, looking rather lost.

The group of you erupted into laughter, and Merlin looked less than impressed, to say the least. Eggsy pulls out his phone, This is e-mail gold, he thought to himself. The camera was met with the stare of one very, very, agitated Scotsman. “Fuck off, with your fookin’ phone, in m’ fookin’ face.” 

Poor Merlin was just making the situation more and more entertaining by the minute. Trying to remain serious and ‘professional’, Harry spoke up amongst the laughter of you, Eggsy and Roxy. “You could always try to jump, Merlin? It’s not too high.” He stated, looking up at Merlin from the ground.

“Yeah, jump. It’s not like you have to jump that far anyway, since your legs are already quite long.” You added, coughing back a giggle as you watched the drama unfold. None of you were prepared for what happened next. 

“WHERE THE FOOK AM I MEANT TO JUMP, EH? I CANNAE JUMP TO THE GROUND BECAUSE I’LL BREAK M’ FOOKIN’ LEGS, ARE YOU FOOKIN’ MENTAL?” Merlin shouted, and Harry finally broke his composure and let out a chuckle at his struggling comrade. This only agitated Merlin more, and he made that quite clear. 

Was that Gaelic he started ranting in?

“Merlin, look, you’re not going to break your legs from jumping down from that roof. It’s perfectly safe, you’re just overreacting.” You said, folding your arms across your chest. 

“THAT’S HOW AGITATED I’M GETTIN’, YOU’VE REALLY FOOKIN’ AGITATED ME.” 

With some coaxing, supportive words and bribes of KFC, Merlin finally jumped from the roof. Luckily, sustaining no injuries, apart from a bruised ego. 

The next day, when everyone received an email from Eggsy titled “Angry Scottish Man Stuck On A Roof”, you started to learn some pretty grotesque words in Gaelic.

You know you’re canadian when you’re confused af as to why all the thanksgiving posts are a month late...

things that make people feel loved:

making them a playlist

baking them cookies

giving them flowers

creating art for them

random reminders that they are loved

writing them a poem

complimenting them on their talents

asking how their day was

sending them links to things you think they will like

random hugs

“This made me think of you”

You write Harry Hart so well! I look forward to the next reader insert with him, keep up the great work!

Oh my gosh, thank you so much! Can I keep you??

Harry Hart x reader I saw that u j checked me out

NSFW MEME (currently closed) —

If anyone asked… your beagle had torn your dress.

Lord knows you’d give poor Ernest a heart attack if you told him the truth of it. The hobbled old tailor had a habit of simply materializing whenever an agent or a customer needed assistance. He couldn’t have been more than a hundred and twenty years old, but you were still afraid of the way he would react if you admitted that the eight thousand pound dress you’d borrowed had been torn by an overzealous Harry Hart.

“Thank you again, Ernest! It looks brand new.” You twirled on the small pedestal as the small man shuffled his way towards the door, swinging it open to reveal the culprit behind the fashion disaster doing his best to appear nonchalant. 

The two men nodded to each other in passing, the silence filling the small fitting room caused you to turn your gaze towards your boyfriend. It seems the dress had the exact same affect on him now that it did last night, eyeing you appreciatively before you cleared your throat.

“I saw that! You just checked me out!” Your feet were aching from standing so long in uncomfortable undercover heels, plodding towards Agent Galahad and giving him your best stern look. “May I remind you that is exactly how we got here in the first place?” 

You should have realized you’d walked into a trap when he stepped further into the room with you, kicking the door shut behind him. “You’re absolutely right, darling. I suppose I had better help to take this off of you...”

Drabble Challenge: 1-150

Rules: Followers send a number to your ask and you write a drabble using that sentence/prompt in your piece. Try to keep up! Expect a TON of requests!

“The skirt is supposed to be this short.”

“How long have you been standing there?”

“I may be an idiot, but I’m not stupid.”

“Who gave you that black eye?”

“You haven’t even touched your food. What’s going on?”

“I just like proving you wrong.”

“Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.”

“Forget it. You fucking suck.”

“Quit it or I’ll bite.”

“If you use up all the hot water again, I swear to god! You’re on the couch for a month!!”

“If I die, I’m going to haunt your ass.”

“I’m pregnant.”

“Looks like we’re gonna be stuck here for a while.”

“Take. It. Off.”

“Well, you’re coming home with me whether you like it or not.”

“I’ll kick his ass if you want me to.”

“Stop it! It tickles!”

“It’s okay to cry…”

“And that’s how you ruin a life. Congratulations.”

“D..did you just make that noise?”

“He’s a bad kisser.”

“You can scream if you want.”

“I didn’t know we were keeping track.”

“We’re playing checkers. If you don’t like it, leave.”

“One of them’s missing.”

“Save some for me.”

“Oh, fuck off.”

“You’re still mad?”

“Come over here and make me.”

“You better watch yourself.”

“Eat your lunch and you wouldn’t be hungry.”

“Why did we have to have kids?”

“Call on Line 1”

“He creeped me out. I’m not gonna lie.”

“I’m done! You can fix it!”

“Can we just watch a movie and fall asleep on the couch?”

“Where did he go?”

“You leave whenever you feel like it.”

“I forgot I was a single parent.”

“Don’t apologize if you don’t mean it.”

“You’re going out dressed like that?”

“For the hundredth time, I’m not your babysitter.”  

“Frost the damn cupcakes.”

“Well that’s the second biggest news I’ve heard all day.”

“You look pretty hot in plaid.”  

“I thought you were dead!”

“I thought it was a one-night-stand…and now we’re married…”

“We’ve become the clingy couple that you used to complain about.”

“Quit touching me. Your feet are cold.”

“You know you want it, sweetheart.”

“I’m your husband. It’s my job.”  

“You just wanted them because the light up.”

“That wasn’t very subtle.”

“He thinks he’s a mind reader.”  

“It’s just you and me tonight. I was thinking we could have a little fun.”

“I don’t do hugs.”

“Don’t talk anymore.”

“I’m just a guy with a wife, two kids, and a Harley.”

“How do I even put up with you?”

“I said get rid of it.”

“They didn’t just find out. They already knew!”

“You’re not as quiet as you think you are.”

“Can you just man up and change his diaper?”

“Just don’t buy a goat. I don’t care what you do, just no goats.”

“I have a secret.”

“I won’t let you get hurt.”

“You’re strong, baby. You have to be.”

“He’s four years old!!”

“I’ve had enough! I want to be alone!”

“I can’t stand seeing you like this.”

“Me and the boys will handle it.”

“You’re competitive and so am I, and it’s going to lead to a fight.”

“Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?”

“You’re a dork, just like your father.”

“Mind if I join you?”

“Daddy!”

“I lost our child.”

“That’s my shirt. So is that..wait?”

“My name isn’t Leslie…who’s Leslie?”

“There’s a surprise upstairs for you.”

“I’ll take care of it.”

“I’m not your boss? Well then who is?”

“You can’t eat solids, only liquids until Thursday.”

“Come on, baby, up to bed.”

“They got you a present. Isn’t it sweet?”

“Am I scaring you?”

“Run! You said you’d work out with me!”

“After everything…I’d still choose you.”

“And when did you plan on telling me about this?”

“Trust me.”

“Scoot over a little bit, please.”

“You’re so clingy, I love it.”

“You didn’t just wake me up at 2am because you were ‘in the mood’.”

“Did they hurt you?”

“You’re cute when you’re all worried.”

“Stop being grumpy. It’s lame.”

“I don’t need a hero, I need a husband.”

“Don’t shut me out.”

“You got a cute butt.”

“I just got out of the shower, I can’t dance. What if my towel falls off?”

“Don’t be an asshole. Asshole.”

“Do you really think I could ever replace you?”

“Sharing is caring. Now give me your fries.”

“…or we can chill in our underwear.”

“You can’t make up for it by giving me a tic-tac.”

“Keep pedaling and don’t stop, okay?”

“You, me, popcorn, two liter Dr. Pepper, and a movie. You in?”

“Have you seen my contacts?”

“Life is a highway, and I’m always drunk. So I’m not driving.”

“Quit stalling. Where’s your father?”

“You can’t just hug me and think everything’s okay.”

“Is he coming home?”

“I prefer blondes.”

“No more dogs. How hard it it to understand?”

“I let you win.”

“I broke your nose, and I’m sorry for that. But what you’re doing isn’t fair.”

“Can I do your hair?”

“Your favorite superhero can’t be a villain.”

“I told you not to jump on the bed!”

“He’s pampering me, let him be.”

“Ready or not, here I come.”

“I’m worried about losing my job!”

“Oh, did I scare you, big boy?”

“Happy new year!”

“Quit moving, I’m trying to sleep. Wait…are you…what?!”

“You nap, I’ll stay awake.”

“It’s turbulence. It’s normal.”

“Don’t touch me. We’re fighting.”

“I’ll give you a massage.”

“You fell asleep in the tub?!”

“Are you doodling?”

“We’re not playing strip poker. I don’t care what I said when I was drunk.”

“Slushies aren’t just for kids, fuck society.”

“Are you scared…Then why won’t you look at the screen?”

“Enough with the pillow talk, I’m tired.”

“You had a nightmare, tell me what it was about so I can fix it.”

“We need groceries, not just junk food. You’re worse than the kids.”

“Is this our closet? Or your closet?”

“If I win, you do dishes for a week.”

“Fist bumps are cooler than high-fives…”

“Use your words.”

“Hold my hand so he gets jealous.”

“Ew, your hand is sweaty.”

“Get out of my face before I hit you.”

“I don’t care if your 4 or 40, you don’t hit people.”

“You only care about football, beer, and raking leaves.”

“Look! Fireflies!”

“Why do you only kiss me when I’m sleeping?”

“I just need ten minutes.”

*Make Your Own*

Happy Writing! Visit @prompt-bank for more prompts!