Also

also

my requests are open!!! i'll make a masterlist/post soon where it'll be easier to navigate but if u have any ideas feel free to send them in :)

Jungkook

𝓜𝓮𝓪𝓷𝓽 𝓽𝓸 𝓫𝓮 : Empty Bed

You like being a ghost.

Tags/Warnings: Angst, hurt & Comfort, Idol!Jungkook, Hybrid!Reader, Cat Hybrid!Reader, mentions of depression and depressive thoughts, heartbreak, homelessness, it's a bit heavy sorry, mentions of mental abuse and manipulation, betrayal, slow burn, eventual smut, dead dove do not eat

Dead Dove do not eat: warning for potentially triggering content that can't be tagged without spoiling the story.

Length: 2.4k words

-> Masterlist

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"Do you want to come to Miss Kim's barbecue today?" Your owner, Hanako, asks from the entrance of your room.

Miss Kim is nice. She always keeps all of your favorite snacks in a drawer in her living room for you every time you visit her home. She's a bit old now, can't walk that well, but she's still a young spirit at heart, always trying to play around with you whenever she feels like her body can handle it. You're not a dog hybrid. You don't play fetch, or frisbee, or anything of the sorts.

But she's nice. So you do it anyways, because it makes her happy.

Miss Kim has two sons, and you know Hanako likes one of them a lot. She doesn't outright say it, scolds you whenever you accidentally let something slip that could tell him this secret. But you know she does. Because she looks at him like you did at your past lover.

She should pursue him before he finds someone else to love. And she can't if you're around to ruin that, because he tends to pay more attention to you than to her. So you shake your head at her question, watching the cars pass by outside your window, way down below. Daegu is an odd place to you- like you're stuck in an old childhood dream you're not quite sure of. Is it a bad one? Does it hurt? Or was it pretty, and you just forgot?

Hanako sighs, but walks off. She's done that for a few months now, maybe even more than a year, as if she's given up on you. You wouldn't be surprised. After all, she never really wanted you in the first place.

You wonder why she agreed to it, back then. Did she feel like she had to? Probably, because while she'd never been awful to you, she'd also made it very clear at all times that she 'could never' own a hybrid herself. And yet, when he had dropped you off at her place, back then still a small apartment in the capital, she'd just nodded, taken your things from him, closed the door. You remember watching him leave from the window of her bedroom. He hadn't even looked back once, simply got in his car, and drove off.

Never to be seen again, except on TV.

Is he still mad at you? If yes, then for what? He never told you, never really explained to you why he'd given you away, and Hanako told you that she doesn't have his phone number anymore, doesn't know how to contact him. She'd explained that your name would change from that point on, that your ID was something else you never bothered learning like you did when you were still in his care. She'd told you that this was a new chapter in your life now, that you'll both have to adjust, and that it'll be fine.

It'll just hurt for a bit, she'd said. What's a 'bit', in her terms? Because it's been two years, and it still stings every time you see him on TV and billboards.

When the front door closes, you know that Hanako has left. She doesn't even say goodbye to you these days when she leaves for work, or dates, or grocery shopping. It makes you feel invisible, and in a way, you like it like that. You like being a ghost. That way, you can pretend that nothing ever happened- that you're just waiting to go home, one day, whenever that might be.

Does he think about you sometimes? Or has he forgotten about you?

Hanako says it's bad that you still follow what he does on social media. Has taken your phone away occasionally when she deemed it fit. But these days, she doesn't seem to really care anymore. And neither do you, to be honest. His livestreams only make you dream of nightmares at night where he's still standing at Hanakos old apartment, throwing your stuff into the room a lot more forcefully than you know he actually did. You remember him being awfully quiet and stoic, with no emotions in his face, but in those dreams he always looks angry, disappointed, scolding you for something you don't know you might've done. In your eyes, you've never done him harm. You always tried to be good. But it seems like that wasn't enough.

In reality, he's never even told you he'd be leaving you forever. In reality, he just told you to stay with Hanako- and he just never picked you up ever again.

You moved to Daegu pretty much a few weeks after that, into a new home, way bigger, but a lot more intimidating as well. The neighborhood is nice, quiet and reserved. Hanako sometimes takes you downtown to the food markets, but it's become less these days. Will she soon be tired of you too? Maybe. Jungkook, back then, gave you away after about three years as well. You remember he got his hair bleached after you'd started living in Daegu with Hanako. Now he's back to his natural hair, got piercings too, new tattoos, and long hair he sometimes ties in the back. It looks good.

He looks like he's finally free. Did you hold him back?

Maybe. You remember both his members and the company not being happy about you living with him back then. It was always somewhat awkward whenever someone would visit- you'd stay in your room after the first few times, avoiding any person that wasn't him after a while. He knew why, there's no way he didn't- but he simply accepted your choice, began to have less people over instead to accommodate to you, because that's what he's always done.

Maybe that annoyed him after a while. Maybe he regretted getting you in the first place.

Jungkook had always been quite impulsive, back then more than nowadays. He'd always been wild, and it was true that he sometimes made choices he'd regret later on. Maybe you were one of those choices? Probably, considering how he usually ends up either adjusting to the things he can't change, while he otherwise searches for ways to undo what he doesn't want no more, like he did when he didn't want his helix piercings.

He just took them out, and never put them in again, holes closing and leaving nothing behind. Just like with you. Did you leave nothing behind as well?

Hanako will probably bring Miss Kim's son over tonight. She deserves to have him, deserves to undo a bad choice as well- so maybe it's best to take that off her shoulders. Sure, she's not been as nice to you as Jungkook has been. She sometimes yells, and locks you into your room, but you know she's just overwhelmed with you. She doesn't mean to be like this. It's you that's the issue.

It's always you that's the issue.

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You've never taken a train by yourself before. In a way, it's exciting.

You know that at this point, Hanako doesn't know yet that you're gone. Will she be happy that you're not there? You made your bed all tidy, cleaned up what you could after cooking yourself a filling meal to last you for the next few days. Until she knows, however, you'll have to get away as far as you can, to buy yourself time to think about what to do next. Your hybrid transportation ticket will only last for a few more days before it'll expire- Hanako didn't renew the subscription on it, since you don't technically leave the house by yourself after all. It's one of those last few things you know still runs on Jungkook's name- once the ticket expires, there will really only be your life insurance left. He's really cut all ties with you, and you can't blame him.

He's thorough after all. If he does something, he tends to see it through instantly, as fast as he can, so he can make sure he's seen it through.

Daegu's landscape changes the deeper into the city you drive. Taking train after train is actually quite fun, seeing all those people go about their days, no one really paying any attention to you. You like this. You're like a ghost.

You like being a ghost.

You get up for a pregnant mother with her little child, the woman warmly thanking you, quiet as to not disturb any other traveler, and you simply watch for a second, before you get off the train yourself. You don't really have a goal in mind, not very prepared for what you did in the end, but maybe you don't need one. You could go to Seoul, right? It would take a bit, but you'd be fine. You can't really risk taking the way faster bullet train after all- your ticket doesn't work for that one, so you'll need to take the regular intercity one. You remember taking that one before, actually. You don't remember why though. Maybe a doctor's appointment? Maybe.

You step out the train, waiting for the one you want to take, when a small dog yaps at you from the side, tail wagging excitedly. You don't look up at the young man who's holding the leash, gently tugging to pick up the small animal. "All alone?" He asks with a deep but friendly voice, and you simply nod, making it clear that you don't really want to talk. And the man gets the message, simply nods as well, though you do feel his eyes on you for a moment or two.

You lose sight of him at some point when you board the train to Seoul station- but you don't mind at all.

The next few hours are spent watching the scenery change and change and change outside the window- sun setting, golden hue filling the rather empty train section you're in. Some people are sleeping, probably tired from work, while others are on their phone, or reading. It's reassuring to you how the world keeps on turning even after what you've done. It doesn't even feel all that bad, even though you don't know where you'll sleep tonight. Maybe you'll stay awake, and take a nap at a park tomorrow. Seoul is way more familiar to you, at the end of the day- you'll have a better time navigating and living there from now on.

As soon as you step out the train, legs a bit sore from sitting so long, you're greeted with a wave of nostalgia.

Hanako never went to Seoul with you for some reason. Maybe Jungkook just doesn't want to stumble upon you by accident- does he hate you that much? It's a horrible thought to have, but then again, you basically took his youth from him when he'd taken you in, signed that contract of ownership. Sure, you both had something similar to love- you'd kissed, made love, all of those things- but you're still a hybrid, while he's a full blooded human. There'd be no way something like that would be overlooked considering his status as not only an idol, but one of the most famous ones at the moment.

In a way, you can understand it. You'll keep an eye out from now on, so you can avoid him.

Has Hanako already noticed you're not home? Miss Kim usually keeps her over for a long time until late at night, so you wouldn't be surprised if she didn't. You left your phone and everything else at home, your backpack only containing clothes, some food, a bit of money you've saved up, and nothing else. You don't want anything on you that could identify you- you're already pretty much a blinking red light with your white hybrid features. Like a ghost, you think.

But you like being a ghost, so it's fine.

At Hangang river, you sit down and put down the beanie you've been wearing for a moment, let your ears and hair breath freely for a bit. It's not too chilly outside, and while you know it's illegal to sleep outside, if you're smart about it you could probably pull it off. Or maybe you'll just sleep at a cheap bathhouse. Hopefully there's space at a hybrid friendly one. There should be one in Itaewon, if you remember it correctly. And even if not, you'll find your way around. You'll be fine from now on, not bothering anybody, not keeping anyone from achieving what they want and deserve. You'll be a ghost, all by yourself, all for yourself.

Someone is playing music close by. It sounds nice, soothing, and the couples around all snuggle a little closer on their blankets, making you happy for them. Maybe you'll find someone too, one day, to snuggle up to at times like these. Seoul never seems to sleep, but you know many do, right now, as the lights in the windows slowly turn off one by one, everyone going to hide underneath their blankets until their days begin tomorrow at different times. Could you work at some point? Not really, no. You're a stray now after all, and considering all the searches police does regularly, no one wants to risk it any longer for those they don't know. And you're a ghost to everyone- people don't risk their livelihoods for ghosts.

Maybe you'll need to make careful connections. Friendships, that could help you survive in the long run, when the nights will turn cold and harsh again at some point. For now, summer will soon arrive, making it a bit easier to sleep outside at night. And if you're careful with your money, you'll be able to stay at cheap accommodations every now then, unless Hanako puts you out there as missing, that is.

She shouldn't, really. You don't want to go back to her, you don't belong there, can't even call it home. Neither is Jungkook home anymore, isn't he? Maybe he never was, who knows really. But no one should search for ghosts, not if they don't want to be found like you. You like this. The way no one pays you any mind, drunk friends stumbling past you with no attention spared. You like this. You like being invisible.

You like being a ghost.

old redraw of a drawing i never posted lol

forgot to mention that this was highly inspired by THIS picture of hoseok and jungkook ☹️🤍☹️🤍

Hii! Can I make a request about a fluff moment in a relationship with Namjoon? Whatever you want it's okay, just something soft/cute please :)

close to you (drabble)

namjoon x reader

sypnosis: you're supposed to finish reading this novel – instead, namjoon reads you like a book

(newly-ish) established relationship, non-idol au, this is a bit rushed, i wrote it in one go while i was running on mcdonald's ice coffee, this is FLUFF!!!! FLUFFY ! SOFT GENTLE GIANT JOON !

main masterlist

°. —・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

you and namjoon were sitting in comfortable silence in his room, each of you immersed in your own thing – and by each of you, that means mostly just namjoon.

you were supposed to be reading a book while namjoon types away at his computer, when you suddenly felt this need to go and cuddle up to him.

your relationship was relatively new, only about a month, and you were still growing comfortable with each other; learning what you're open to receiving and giving.

this was one of those moments where you didn't know what was considered "too soon" or "too clingy", especially with someone like namjoon;

he's a gentleman, the kindest of the kindest, so for the most part, he's been letting you set the pace, him rarely initiating anything without coaxing it out of you first.

maybe it was how good he looked, all the damn time, but especially when he concentrated. or maybe it was the way you could see his chest softly rising and falling, making you want to snuggle into it. maybe it was just how much you liked him, you weren't sure, the only thing you were sure of was the itching in your legs to get up and straddle him so he could hold you in the way you were daydreaming of.

you were so deep into your mental debate that you hadn't noticed you were staring, but namjoon had. it wasn't until he called your name that you snapped out of it, heat rising in your cheeks as you looked away, embarrassed from being caught.

"you okay there, darling?" he moved away from his computer for a moment so he could look at you better and you just stiffly nodded as an answer.

"you sure?"

"mhm. yup. yes."

"okay-"

"wait. i-"

you interrupted namjoon as he was about to move back to the computer, but you were having a hard time getting the words to leave your throat.

"hmph. uh- can we- can i- um- sorry. uh, n-nevermind."

namjoon grew concerned at your rambling, moving to get up and walk towards you until he was able to kneel down in front of you.

"baby? what's wrong-"

"sorry, i just- can we try something?"

you fumbled with your fingers a little and finally looked up to meet namjoon's stare.

his eyes were soft and curious, and you could swear you fell in love with him all over again in that moment.

"yeah, of course."

nervously, you stood; namjoon following your lead.

why were you so nervous? this was your boyfriend for goodness sake. you're literally dating this man.

deciding to just go for it, you shuffle forward until you're hugging namjoon with your hands around his neck.

this catches him off guard for a second, before he wraps his arms around your waist.

when you feel his grip on you, you hop and wrap both of your legs around his torso so he's carrying you.

namjoon just makes a "hm?" sound as he adjusts his hold on you to make sure you don't slip.

"can we go sit in your chair?"

your softly asked question causes a lightbulb to flicker on over namjoon's head, finally starting to realize what you wanted.

"okay."

he makes his way back to the chair by his computer, and sits down slowly to make sure you can position yourself comfortably.

as you both settle down, a happy sigh leaves your lips, entirely pleased with how you're sitting on his lap and your head buried in his chest just like you had been wanting since you got to his place.

"is this what you wanted?" namjoon's voice is light and affectionate and it only makes you nuzzle further into him as you nod.

he chuckles and runs his fingers through your hair before speaking again.

"you know, you don't have to ask for these kinds of things."

this makes you lift your head up to look at him, happy to find his eyes filled with genuineness.

"i just don't want to make you uncomfortable or bother you or cross a line you know?"

"actually, i don't know. i don't know how you could think that having me hold you would garner a negative reaction from me at all. having you in my arms like this … it's easily one of my favorite things in the world. its not like you could ever bother me anyways."

he's cupping your face now, and you know he can feel your face growing hot from how flustered his words were making you.

"you don't think i'm too, i don't know, clingy?"

he holds your face tighter now.

"no, not really. and even if you are clingy, it honestly makes me happy. i'll say it as many times as you want me to; i love having you close to me."

your smile grew at his response, and he leaned forward to kiss your forehead.

once he pulled back, you rested your head on his chest again, feeling like you were on a cloud, a namjoon shaped cloud even. he filled all of your senses, his scent strong and addicting, his arm around your waist keeping you close to him, the clicking of the mouse in front of him, the soft light of the computer illuminating his face perfectly.

this is how namjoon appears in your life, you think.

a gentle glow to greet you where you go, enough to light up your surroundings but not to blind you;

no matter how hard it could be to make your want for these kinds of things known to him, he always understood.

words cannot even begin to express how much this music video impacted me.

i'm someone who's struggled with sh and attempts at sewer slide, and this mv made me feel understood in a certain way, like represented.

yoongi means the absolute world to me, knowing he went through very similar things as i have and that we share certain struggles (even if it's in our past) hurts me and mends me back together simultaneously.

it hurts so bad knowing that he went through all of this and maybe even more, but hearing him talk about his healing and being able to share these parts of him with us makes me so proud and it makes me hopeful that i too will get there someday

min yoongi i will never be able to explain how much i fucking love you. wow.

i think i should make a separate blog for my fic recs perhaps ..... what do u guys think