Paper Hearts - P.jm.

paper hearts - p.jm.

genre: fluff, college au! f2l (9k)

summary: hearts fragile like paper, tear it or don’t? (fools!universe)

masterlist      series masterlist

jimin.

your first friend in college.

in a sea of unfamiliar faces, jimin’s face stood out like you were meant to see him, like you were supposed to feel your heart stop in place with how his smile made you feel when you introduced yourself or how he hold onto that smile while shaking your hand as slowly as he could just to tease you, and it didn’t take long for him to occupy a part of your heart.

well, at least as your best friend.

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eliminate! - p.jm.

genre: major angst, suggestive content, dystopian!au (warnings include violence, death and mentions of blood) (8.8k wc)

summary: in a world where people killed those they loved, to survive, to be alive, you and jimin can't seem to be parted and the impending doom of your relationship stretches the two of you out before you are forced to make the choice, to love or to die?

masterlist

(i highly recommend listening to heartbeat by childish gambino while reading this, enjoy <3)

-

october 20th, 2022.

rain traveled down your back, slowly, mockingly but fell with full force on top of your head and clouded your vision. red lights flashed, green lights flashed, white lights flashed but somehow, he was still there, in the midst of it all, clear as day in the dead of the night.

it couldn’t be him, not after all this while, not after you’d given it all up.

but the hand that held your gun quivered, your blinking became slower as your eyes tried to focus on him, drink him in, forget him, remember him, anything it can do, see him.

it shouldn’t have come to this.

a road shouldn’t be separating you two, a gun in your hand should’ve never been held, the rain should've never dared to hide him from you but it was all happening, and all you could do was look.

you felt his sorrow from across the street, his shaking hands that held his own gun, and you knew you had to do this for the relief of the other, whoever survived.

your phone blinked and buzzed rapidly with the word ‘eliminate!’ on your screen and you knew the decision that you had to make.

so, as cars and bikes zoomed and honked and blared in your ears, your hand lifted to point the gun at him, you knew he would do the same, the principle was survival of the fittest after all.

but as you pulled the trigger and the bullet rang through the air and bolted in his direction, you realized he never lifted his hand.

you fell to your knees as the rain continued its assault on your body. your eyes forgave you by closing themselves so you would never have to see his body on the ground.

your screen became green.

‘successful!’

it shouldn’t have come to this.

-

the government and all other higher organizations had their eyes on the few numbers of marriages that took place and even fewer marriages that lasted, divorce rates were at an all-time high, and that resulted in the chaos of the world as it was.

because it was a chain reaction.

marriages lead to unhappy individuals, sometimes with children, sometimes with large families, this led to divorces, which led to unhappy and traumatized children, years of therapy that didn’t quite fix anything, unhappy and traumatized children didn’t serve to be responsible citizens who fulfilled the duties that the government needed.

and soon, they had to step in.

they introduced a system based on nature’s most ancient method, the method of survival by elimination. the system had everyone’s data down to the chromosomes that built them and used this system to establish romantic compatibility between individuals. this would allow society, as a whole, to have lasting, emotionally fulfilling relationships.

but they had other motives as well.

the government didn’t care about individuals, they cared about what an individual could offer and they also cared about overpopulation, they couldn’t control society if it was overfilling, so the system was built to kill two birds with one stone.

the system did connect people but the second the relationship seemed to be steering in the wrong direction in any manner, the individuals in the relationship would receive a flashing red alert of ‘eliminate’ on their phones; sometimes they got it at the same time, sometimes they got it seconds apart, and in the time that they receive the notification, they have to kill the other person in the relationship or get killed.

whoever kills, gets ‘aid’ from the government, which was basically tons of money to cover for the trauma that comes from killing someone you loved.

if the persons failed to carry out the elimination for whatever reason, they got three warnings before government-assigned hitmen would kill both of the individuals, if the individuals didn't kill to survive, they didn’t deserve survival.

this, according to the government, was survival of the fittest, eliminating those who weren’t emotionally capable of being in a lasting relationship, and who didn’t provide the government with anything, deserved to be eliminated.

this was naturally met with resistance but as days by and the system reached everyone, people found that they enjoyed eliminating those who made them unhappy, especially because there were no consequences and because romance came with a certain rage, people were finally allowed to quell that rage.

so, the system was implemented and the world paced forward.

but you fell in love with jimin, and he fell in love with you, and the moment you did, your phone flashed red.

-

december 19nd, 2022.

it was the first warning and he hadn’t died that day, at least that’s what you heard.

it’s been months since your bullet hit him and you still couldn't forget the ringing it left in your head. the same roads that you had coursed through on his bike, so in love, so sure about each other, were the same roads where you left him to die.

it wasn't your fault, you had prepared to die, jimin was a better marksman than you were, so you had expected a bullet to pierce through you as well but it never came, even if you wished that it did.

so, now, here you were, body barely covered in a nightgown that your partner, keith, apparently liked, hands slowly stirring the coffee in your cup and looking out the window, rain clouded your vision and that was enough to take you back.

“good morning, babe!” a swift kiss on the side of your neck had your body recoiling but you forced a smile on your face as you kissed keith’s cheek.

he was dressed up for work in his black trousers and white shirt, he was moderately attractive, a finance guy who liked spending his money as if it meant nothing, you had no idea how you were compatible, but you were living together now and you didn’t see a way out.

“work’s going to be crazy today, so many meetings and we have to close that deal today,” he drawled on, running his hands through his hair as he got behind the kitchen counter to make himself breakfast.

i hope you don’t come back home, i hope your meeting lasts for a week, i hope i never have to see you again.

“i can make dinner for when you come back” leaves your lips instead and his head snaps up with a smile you’ve grown to hate, “you’re the best, babe, i love that on you by the way.” he gestures to your gown and gives you a flying kiss and it takes everything in you to not physically cringe.

i hate this on me, by the way.

it’s not like you care.

“i’ll buy more of them.” you hum, an answer that would satisfy him, and with a sigh, you turn away from him to look out the window again, the sky was still gloomy, the raindrops still coated your windows and you still wanted your partner to die.

then, you notice at the foot of your apartment building, a bike that pulls up, a bike that you know, a bike that you spent many nights on, your heart races as the rider steps off it.

at the same minute, your phone buzzes in your hand and you freeze.

not now.

not now.

not now.

“we don’t have to make this painful,” you hear from behind you before the steel of your own gun presses against the back of your head, your phone slips to the ground and you catch sight of the red that coats the screen.

‘eliminate!’

seconds apart.

of course, he got it before you had.

from your periphery, you see exactly what keith had been all along, what all you tolerated because you didn’t think you deserved love after putting a bullet in the only man you ever loved, you see keith’s narrowed eyes filled with ambition and malice, his fingers that itched to pull the trigger and his face that donned an evil smile.

he was enjoying this, enjoying the absolute control he had on your very existence.

you just wished he hadn’t underestimated you.

you pulled your ankle back to connect with his crotch, and whipped around to elbow his face and neck, making him weak enough to drop the gun, you pushed the gun away with your leg and dragged him to the kitchen counter, all while he begged and whimpered for mercy, then started shouting in the anger he felt, he had lost control after all.

you grabbed his collar and jammed his head into the sharp corner of the kitchen counter, leaving traces of his blood on it, and got up to retrieve a knife.

you had to do it, you had to kill him, or they will kill you you had to do it you had to kill him or they will kill you you had to do i-

the door to your apartment flew open and the grip you had on your knife tightened as you whipped around to see who it was, even if you knew who it could be.

jimin stood there, helmet in hands, eyes flicking on your body, unmoving, so silent that it made your head spin. as your lips parted to call out to him, to see if he would respond, to see if he was even real, a hand gripped your ankle, keith’s loud groan of ‘bitch’ echoed around you. the knife you had in your hands quickly found its place in his chest; the green light from your phone illuminated a side of your face.

‘successful!’

through the blood dripping down your eyelashes, you looked up, once again to see him, to see if he had moved, to see if he had left, to see if he had come to kill you.

you fell off keith’s body, pushing it away with your feet and the cold ground made you hiss, your head didn’t stop spinning, and your hands didn’t stop shaking, it almost made you laugh that the people in this room right now were both people you killed or tried to kill.

“why are you back?”

we shouldn’t be around each other, you shouldn’t be alive, i shouldn’t be alive-

“i chose to forgive you for putting a bullet in me,” he smirked and your head lolled to the side, a smile growing involuntarily, he was real, he was here, and he was breathing, “i never asked for your forgiveness, jimin.”

i missed you, i missed your voice, i missed your bike, i missed you i missed you i missed you i missed you, i missed us.

“i’m nice like that,” he hummed as he sat beside you, you looked up helplessly, someone’s blood smeared on your face, his blood that stained your hands, you thought you would never see him again.

he was nice like that; he was always nicer than you had ever been.

jimin’s ring-covered fingers pushed the hair that stuck onto the blood on your face back, you could feel your sobs compressed in your chest.

“unless you are here to kill me, get out, jimin.” you didn’t think you could say it but you couldn’t kill him a second time, you couldn't look at him without wanting to lay in his arms and let him kill you.

“i’m gonna say no to that.”

“you must really like dying” you could almost hear the sirens of the government hitmen, they would bust in here, place a bullet in each of your heads, jimin and you would just be eliminated numbers in the system then.

“we’ve only gotten one warning,” his voice and demeanor remained calm and steady, the calm you needed, the steady you craved, everything about jimin, you craved and craved and craved.

but one warning was enough, one bullet was enough, the blood on your hands was enough.

you pushed yourself off the floor, almost gravitating and falling into jimin’s arms, maybe crying for an hour, or two, and then kissing him all over but instead, your hands reached out for the knife that was dripping already.

you stood, with shaky knees, in front of a jimin that didn’t flinch and with the strongest voice you could muster, “get out.”

jimin didn’t make an attempt to move, “i let you kill me once, why do you think this will work?” to anyone else, it would sound like he was provoking you, but jimin was pleading with you, ‘i let you kill me once, i’ll let you kill me twice, thrice, ten times, i would rather die in your hands than be away from you.’

you couldn’t think, you couldn’t breathe, he was right, he was always right.

but you were, again, desperate to make sure his blood didn’t end up on you.

so, you twisted the knife and pointed it to yourself.

that did the trick.

jimin jumped up from where he was, you could hear his breathing, loud, hurried, so worried, you saw his hands instinctively jerk towards you and pausing in the air, unsure of what you would do.

“please leave,” you whispered, eyes gathering tears for the first time this morning and jimin retracted his hand, “you’re being crazy, put it down, p-please.” his calm was breaking, his face boosted a sheen and his eyebrows scrunched in worry.

“the second you turn back and leave, this will be put away.” you shook the knife in your hand, glancing towards the door through which jimin would have to leave.

jimin’s eyes widened in anger, his hands shook at the fury that consumed him, he couldn’t believe that you were willing to do this just to keep him away.

“i came back for you!” he yelled, you couldn’t help but flinch at his eyes that were no longer calm, no longer steady, “after everything, after you put a fucking bullet in me, after you live with some guy, i looked for you everywhere and this is what you want to do? drive me away? make yourself look insane?” his voice bellowed in the apartment, suffocating you, driving you to tears, but you knew it was necessary, it was easier if he hated you.

“get out,” you whispered again, your resolve weakening as the knife nudged into your skin, and at the sight of your blood running down your arm, jimin threw his head back with a frustrated groan, he couldn't touch you without potentially triggering another warning, he couldn’t shake you back to sanity so, just as quiet as he entered, jimin left your apartment, but not without a look that said, ‘this isn’t over, not here, not now.’

you were left with too much air and too much blood around you.

at some point in the evening, the cleaners from the government came in, but none of them looked at you, none of them said a word or offered you a napkin, nothing.

they pushed keith’s body into a bag, cleared up the blood, dropped an envelope full of money on the counter, and left.

but the smell of death perforated around you, as you, once again, looked out the window, a gloomy sky, a gloomy world, and your cigarette was the only light that remained later in the night.

you stared at the reflection of your face which looked sunken in, tired, irritated, so close to dead but unfortunately, not dead, and as you kept scowling at yourself, jimin’s face joined the reflection.

then, both of your cigarettes remained to be the only light in your apartment that night.

-

august 22nd, 2023.

that night, he smoked with you, taught you how to patch up your cuts, burnt some scented candles, and left after staring at your lips for ten minutes.

it didn’t matter that you were already well-trained to patch up your wounds, it didn’t matter that the candles he left only cleared the air for a few minutes before the smell of death came back, he was there, you were there, and that was enough for nothing else to matter.

though you still shiver at the memory of his eyes on you.

you haven’t seen him since then, you had told him to stay away before any kind of patch wouldn’t save what you do to yourself, but you still burnt the candles he got for you, every day.

you killed five people after jimin last year, you didn’t know if it was dumb luck that you survived every single time or your worst nightmare come true, all of your lovers were now just numbers in the eliminated category, you were waiting to join them too.

but, when your phone flashed red, you couldn't think of anything but surviving, even if you wanted to die, even if you had nothing to live for, that one notification blinded you from everything you believed in and pushed you to protect yourself.

it was the deepest, darkest secret that you held and buried in yourself.

maybe that was the intention all along, everyone wants to die until they are put face-to-face with death.

“i really didn’t expect us to match but i’m so glad that this is happening,” your date, an older man, with thinning hair and too broad of a smile, beamed at you. you felt particularly irritated that he was talking to your boobs but you held on, you matched for a reason, you had to see this through until you could kill him.

“i am glad too.” you smiled with ruby lips, crossing your legs and leaning away from him, you raised your glass to him and he almost jumped out of his seat to cling it, you held back your laugh at his state.

men were too simple.

“let’s get to know each other! we could start with, what scares you?” he thought he was being deep and thoughtful with that question, but he was so wrong.

men, scare me, i haven't decided if you're one of those men.

“i have to say, rats, can’t stand them, they’re disgusting.” you fake shuddered, causing your date to explode into laughter, “oh, you poor thing, they scare you?” he asked as if it was the most ridiculous thing ever.

i am scared that everyone i love, secretly hates me. i don't have many people that i love, that scares me too.

“so, how many people have you killed?” you didn’t mean to ask it out loud but you needed to know how much training would have to go into defeating him, if that day ever came. he looked up with surprised eyes before the surprise melts into poorly executed sensuality, a certain sick kind of glint shined in his face as he leaned forward as if he’s found his prize, his prey, “i have killed 3, princess, what about you?”

it took everything in you to not vomit in his face.

but your eyes roll back instead, this was going to be a long night.

“how about you try to guess?” you whispered back, just as sensual, maybe not as sick but playing the part he wanted you to.

a hidden freak in elegant clothes.

men didn’t have a lot of types; this was usually the most popular.

he, you keep thinking ‘he’, because, for the love of god, you can’t seem to remember his name, blinks slowly, trying to be sexy, only to look mildly constipated.

a swing of the restaurant doors forces your eyes towards the entrance and your throat closes up as you try not to fall off your seat when you see who it is.

you had told him to stay away, to never come back, you told him that you should’ve never given him the lighter that night but he had laughed it off, he had lit his cigarette and gazed out the window without a word.

now, he was here, all flesh and bones, too real, too much, not in your innocent or sometimes, not-so-innocent dreams, he was standing with another woman who held onto his hands, hands that had taught you to clean your wounds, hands that had touched every inch of you.

your hands gripped the tablecloth with a strength you didn’t know you possessed; your eyes threatened to flash red as your heartbeat accelerated.

gone was the bald man in front of you, gone were the people around you, gone was the chaos of the restaurant, gone was the rest of the world as his eyes reached you.

and he had the audacity to bow to you, flash a smirk, throw a smile at your date, and take his seat at the bar as if it was his throne. of course, his seat faced you, his eyes stayed on you as his hands played and twirled with her hair.

“see something you like?” your date growled from the other side of the table.

you had forgotten about him.

“sorry, i got distracted” you mumbled, you wondered if he would figure out just how insincere your words were. he laughed bitterly, fingers tapping incessantly at his wine glass.

his demeanor had changed, his shoulders were tense and tight, and you could feel his leg knocking onto the table, you had pissed him off.

you wish you cared.

“i’ve met your type, you think that looking and acting like a slut will help you get away with everything, don’t you?” his eyes gleamed wickedly as he smiled at you, you felt a chill run down your spine even if you weren't threatened.

all your life, you’ve met all kinds of men, it didn’t help you get used to how cruel and animalistic some of them could be.

your phone pinged and flashed red.

‘eliminate!’

your heart contracted rapidly as your hands tried to search for the gun on your thigh holster, your fingers fumbled to pull it out and you could feel it all slip away.

you couldn’t let him get the notification too, he would kill you, he would kill you in front of jimin, he would kill you and you would never see jimin again, never feel him again, never breathe him in agai-

but then, his head dropped on the table.

your hands fell away from your holster as your entire body stiffened and fell back on your chair.

you hated that you didn’t feel anything as his blood pooled around his head, as people screamed and rushed out of the restaurant, as waiters fumbled with their phones to call the police, you hated that your gaze immediately went to jimin.

his hand was raised, a gun pointed in your direction.

your suspicions were right.

‘successful!’

your screen turned green.

people ran with their children in front of you, people stared in horror at the man whose blood overflowed from the table, people saw you staring at the bar instead of the dying man in front of you.

public eliminations were rare, and most notifications were delivered in the safety of private homes but desperate times, such as especially bad events on a date, would lead to this.

jimin’s date got up, seemed to scream at him, seemed to seek his attention but he peeked and bent around her body to keep looking at you, she turned around with fury in her eyes, only to huff loudly and run out of the restaurant too.

then, it was the two of you again.

how could you feel a touch, months after it’s been on you?

how could you feel him, miles apart?

you hated yourself for how warm you felt now that it was just you and him.

you pushed yourself out of your chair, charging towards jimin with a rage you only felt around him, the rage of wanting him but not having him, the rage of never forgetting him, the rage of not being able to detach yourself from him, the rage of seeing him with another, he watched with a tilted head as you approached him.

“come outside,” you demanded, already turning around to get out but he spun towards the bar, “why? we have all the privacy we want, right here” he tapped the seat next to him with his lips pulled to one side.

you were impatient, out of time, out of your depth, out of control, which urged you to grab jimin by the collar and drag him to the rain-soaked pavements outside.

there was no way you were going to have a conversation when a man lay dead, a couple of steps away from you, a man that he killed, a man that you were supposed to kill.

“what were you thinking, jimin?” you screeched once you couldn’t see blood dripping down the table you left behind. even as the rain soaked you, you felt burning hot anger bubbling in you.

“why do you care? were you in love with him or something?” jimin sneered, adjusting his shirt and looking away to the side, his voice was irritated but his face wasn’t, jimin had ever been good at hiding his vulnerability. there was this nervousness, this tapping of his foot, that gave him away.

“it shouldn’t matter to you, jimin!” you yelled loudly, though your face fell away in unguarded softness. it shouldn’t have been his bullet today, it should’ve been yours, it’s funny to you that it always ends up having to be yours.

“why?” jimin turned back to look at you with a frown so deep, you wondered if he was feeling the strain of the conversation already, if he was feeling the strain of being so close and far.

do you want me in your arms? i want you in mine.

“what do you mean, why?” you threw your hands in the air as a deep exhale left your body, a last attempt to calm yourself, “why shouldn’t it matter to me? as far as i know, i’m the only one it should matter to,” he roared back, chest puffing as he stepped closer to you.

come closer, don’t you dare step back, take me away from this rain, this place, these people, this world, take me to a place where i can hold you and you can hold me.

“you know exactly why” you steeled your gaze to get your point across, though you wondered if he could hear your heart break from where he stood.

jimin watched you with careful eyes, sorrow hid under his eyelashes, sorrow that he tried to blink away, sorrow that barely concealed the anger he felt.

but not at you.

never at you.

he reached for your hand, causing you to flinch and shift a couple of steps away, he felt like a wound that never quite healed, cut itself open again, “what are you so afraid of?”

your heartbeat quickened, “jimin, stay back, we don’t know about the warn-“

“that ship sailed when you yanked my collar, love” his lips pulled to one side as he showed his phone screen that was bright red, and your heart drowned all over again, your phone buzzed in your hand, you knew what it meant.

your second warning.

“why don’t we just take advantage of this?” he whispered so softly, that the rest of the world tapped out, it was just him and his face and his voice and his hands that pushed your hair back.

life filled your lungs in a rush, life so vibrant and bright, life so blindingly fine.

soft soft hands, soft hands that touch me, soft hands that have touched me before, soft hands which i love, i love the man with soft hands.

“we could go back to our place, watch some movies, just talk, you can tell me how terrible your dates have been,” he paused to chuckle a little and it filled you with lightness, you believed you could float, “we could let the warning stretch, we could let it all just ring, i don’t care, as long as you’re there, i don’t care about anything.”

he still calls it ‘our’ place, i have a place in this world.

your phone buzzed and flashed red repeatedly as he held your cheeks and leaned in, just to let his breath fan over your face, just to let his lips brush over yours.

“but don’t push me away, i need you.” you could tell he was holding back tears and you couldn’t tell that you were crying already until his hands wiped across your cheeks, your hands fell on his shirt, unsurely grazing the fabric.

did you want him closer? was that possible?

‘eliminate!’

‘eliminate!’

‘eliminate!’

your phone threw the red onto his face, flashing so rapidly that you wanted to break it, but when you caught his eyes, his ever so tender, ever so loving, ever so giving eyes, you got reminded of the bullet you put in him. now, the red light looked like his blood.

i love the man with soft hands. his soft hands touch me and i touch him, he tells me sweet things when our lives are on a rope, how can i not fall?

i hurt the man with soft hands, i don’t deserve the man with soft hands.

your hands were desperately hanging onto his shirt now but you could feel your stomach in your throat, your heart in your legs, your head in the stormy clouds and you pushed him away.

you stumbled back, hiccupping and gripping your phone.

‘eliminate!’

“please, just listen to me-“ but you couldn’t, all you could hear was the traffic, the people, your phone, and the world, it all returned back to you and you couldn’t hide in his face any longer.

“just stop, jimin!” you let out your cry, heart squeezing itself dry onto the pavement.

i can’t hurt you, i can’t die, but i will die if i don’t hurt you, would you kill me? save me this pain? take me away.

jimin’s rage returned.

“we need to stop this, don’t show your face around me again” you turned and walked away before your heart fell on his feet and you couldn’t pick it up again.

step.

step.

step.

pull me back, don’t let me go.

“how do you walk away every single time?” his voice was low, barely audible but it fell on you like bricks raining from the sky.

your steps stopped, everything in you paused at the tension in his voice.

“how do you live without me? why is it so easy for you to be without me?” he got louder, angrier, more desperate, more of everything, you knew his eyes were burning into your skin and leaving scars that would never fade.

i’m not living, i’m breathing, i’m existing, it's not the same.

“jimin,” you breathed out, your entire body stood confused at the jolts of torments that passed through it, you tried not to fall on your knees at his assumption.

did he think this was easy for you?

did he think that he didn’t haunt every single living thought in your head?

did he think you could ever forget the grief that shot through you when you saw him on the ground, that you could ever forget him?

“do you not remember anything?” he whispered again, a sad smile stretched on his face.

i remember too much.

i remember drifting through these roads on your bike, i remember laughing into your hair and the warmth of your neck on cold nights, i remember the leather of your jacket and the coldness of you necklace, i remember the cat you loved even if you are allergic, i remember the story of your first kiss, i remember the lingering love you hold for her, i remember the greater love you held for me.

i remember the day i died when my phone flashed red for the first time.

i remember everything.

“no, and you should forget it too” you shook off his scent that crawled on your back to choke you.

“i don’t believe you,” jimin narrowed his eyes at you, he could see the memories playing like a videotape behind your eyes.

“i don’t either,” he pulled back at the sad chuckle that left your tear-dried lips and he could only watch as you got into your bike and drove away into the night, once again, leaving him to himself.

your tears came anew as the gush of wind froze them on your face, you no longer had his neck to bury yourself into, and you no longer had his jacket to grip onto, it was just you, the night and everything else burning in and out of existence.

you could tell it all to him, you could tell him that you haven't been alive since the second you held that gun in your hands, you could tell him that you imagined him on every face you kissed but it was easier to not tell it all.

it was easier to pretend that you didn’t know what you felt, it was easier to tell him you didn’t know when you knew it all, and it was easier to go back to your room and stare at the ceiling till morning came.

-

december 31st, 2023.

six hours were left to new years.

you just killed another person, and this time, you didn’t bother remembering anything about them, their name, their hobbies, their interests, their face just before they died, it only gave you nightmares.

the paper of your cigarette was soaked red as your hands dripped on them, your bedroom was being sterilized and you were once again, wholly surrounded by the smell of blood and death and nothing else.

you would need to get new sheets, a new bed, a new carpet, and new candles.

what a way to start a new year.

your head fell back on the sofa as a dull ache coursed through you, the ache was ever-present now, your only consistent companion, it stayed with you as life threw you from a puddle, to a pond, to a lake, to a river and then, at the deep edge of the sea.

your feet dragged as you closed the door behind the cleaners, you wondered if they were welcoming the new year with someone they loved or if they were too, much like you, rotting around the smell of death.

three hours were left to new years.

you wondered what jimin was doing, and then you laughed into the silence around you, when did you ever stop thinking about what jimin was doing?

but you were two strikes down, another one would only end with you both six feet underground and you couldn’t do that to jimin.

one hour was left to new years.

you were somehow standing in front of ‘your’ apartment, it was really jimin’s but it stuck with you that he had called it ‘our.’

in life, there are logical choices, mapped out, ready for action, the results would be great for you but as humans, we very rarely follow through with logical choices because even if we have a monologue prepared, an argument, a plan of action, we see the face of some people, we see the nights we spent with them, we see the words we never told anyone else, we see our expired love creeping on their backs and it all crumbles.

those choices are always shadowed by, not your heart, as many would like to believe, it’s always you, as a whole, just you. because sometimes, we don’t want the peace that comes with logic, we want the freefall that comes with doing whatever the heck you want and regretting it all afterward.

and you wonder if you will ever make the smart choice when it comes to jimin.

the door swings open, your chest falls in relief at his face and an expectant smile from him, silence riddled around you both, welcomes you into your home.

you felt strangely out of your body, as if you were watching the night unravel and could do nothing but watch, as if you had no and all control, as if you could run and stay at the same time.

on your true bed, you splayed out your arms and legs, you didn’t exhale too loudly, jimin didn’t breathe too much, you pushed your face into the pillows that you and jimin used to lay on, you breathed in the scent, jimin stood back and watched, everything was just silent and perfect and your phones were nowhere near you.

i didn’t think we would be here again, i thought i lost you forever, i thought i would die with your love for me and my love for you, buried deep inside of me and someday, it would all be dug up and i won’t be there to witness any of it.

on your true table, you sat, legs folded on the chair, piping hot food flowing steam onto your face and you ate, jimin sat opposite to you and ate, the television roared with news of parties, fires, danger, sorrow, economy. a word didn’t leave your lips.

who really cares about the government anyway, right?

on your true sofa, your fingers threaded jimin’s hair as you pulled at his scalp, gently, maybe not so gently and he falls apart in your touch, he falls back and grabs you, again and again, you two rise and fall, like riptides that would devastate the shore, like rocks that hit to make fire, like hail that hits your feet and makes them numb, your bodies don’t care anymore, not about some warning, not about some stupid government, your bodies only craved for what the other offered.

why does morning have to come? why do nights like these not show mercy on me and stretch forever? why is this place not where i come back to anymore? how do i leave, with the memories of your feathers wrapped around my back?

at some point, the clock struck midnight and jimin’s twinkling eyes whispered to you, his hands rubbing circles on your waist, “happy new year, my love.”

all of the world’s happiness would have fit in the centimetre space between you two then, you didn’t want to think of how you would die after this, you didn’t want to think of how temporary it all was, you didn’t want to think of how tomorrow might never come.

but you woke up the next day, jimin’s arms on your stomach, a new year shining outside your window and you stumbled out of the bed for your phone, to see if it really was the end because you couldn’t get a better ending than this.

you didn’t get a warning.

you wouldn’t die today.

you sighed out in relief.

-

february 14th, 2024.

you got lucky that day, too lucky, you had stretched your luck till afternoon dawned. that morning, you got on jimin’s bike and let yourself float in the backseat as wind pricked your face, you had been hoping that the final warning will come, that you could die happy but even as your head rested on jimin’s shoulder and the beach waves crashed in front of you, even as he nestled his face into your head and breathed you in, your phones hadn’t made a single noise.

the next morning, you were back to wanting to survive, jimin tried to keep you in his bed, he had whispered promises to you, he had kissed your cheeks and his hands had gripped onto your arms.

but you had run away, it wasn’t your home and you couldn’t play around with your luck anymore, maybe it was a glitch, maybe it was an anomaly, no one knew how the warnings came, and you weren’t exactly excited to know why you were granted those few hours with jimin.

and you found someone.

someone not like keith, someone not too sick or old, his name was wooseok and he treated you gently, treated you lovingly, he held your hand as you walked, he kissed you on the forehead, he promised to let you down gently if the notification ever came, as per your request.

but his hands weren’t soft and you weren’t in love with him.

you punched the sandbag in front of you, harder than your instructor had told you to, harder than you wanted to, the night fell around you with each punch, no one came around this time and the solitude comforted you.

soon, you had to meet wooseok for dinner, a valentine’s dinner, a night filled with affection and attention, you were looking forward to it, at least you were trying to look forward to it.

the elevator pinged behind you, slowing your punches, you turned around to glare at whoever came in, this was the only alone time you had, you couldn’t have some idiot mess it up.

but then your face relaxed as wooseok walked in, your arms immediately stretched in front of you to wrap around his neck and he chuckled into your neck, “couldn’t wait till dinner, forgive me.” he brushed your cheeks before kissing you on the forehead and you tried to hide the way your body tensed.

“i’m glad, i’ll be done in a bit,” you said with a half-genuine smile and he nodded.

i can be happy without jimin, i can live and not be afraid to love, i can learn to love wooseok’s rough hands and i can live live live

the elevator pinged again; you didn’t bother looking at who it was until you heard the soft thump of a bag falling to the floor. “just two minutes,” he whispered before burying his face in your neck again and this time, your body gave up fighting, you relaxed into him and let out a sigh. hidden by wooseok’s body, you peeked to the side to see who it was.

it was instantaneous, the reaction, the rush of blood to your head and heart, the restlessness that started building in you.

you felt your chest tear, your legs break under you, your hands falling off but nothing happened to you, even if you wished your mental pain could become physical, you still breathed fine, stood fine, lived fine, still clung to wooseok’s neck fine.

just one look at jimin had you crumbling even as someone held you up.

i cannot be happy without jimin.

“i’ll be waiting downstairs,” wooseok whispered, with no knowledge of your intruder, he kissed your cheek and you tried to hide the paleness of your face as you nodded, he leaves with a lingering look at you, so filled with love.

and your throat closes up again as the elevator takes him away.

jimin looks at you, waiting for you to speak, apologize, explain, anything, any words you give, he would take and he tries to hold his ground while his mind assaults him with playbacks to you and someone else wrapped around you.

your content face, instead of fear, your smile, instead of a scowl, your affection, instead of wariness, everything jimin wanted with you, you found in someone else.

he would’ve done anything for all of that, would your new boy do it? would he make you his as jimin had?

once he understands that you were going to ignore this, he walks towards you slowly, taking all the time in the world, you heard his steps but you kept putting your stuff away, determined to leave as soon as you could.

the world spun at your feet when he halts behind you, you felt the warmth of his body and his soft soft soft soft hands holding your hips as he gazed from behind you, into the mirror, you stood frozen.

how easy would it be to just melt into you? how easy would it be to go back home with you, to you, spend my hours breathing with you?

no.

you had someone now.

“jimin, step back,” you glanced anxiously towards where you left your phone and jimin is reckless, out of patience and at the end of the line here, “how does he treat you, love?” he whispers against your ear, in a mocking tone that you hated.

but heat crawls and wraps around you fast, you find yourself wanting to lean back on him, let him carry you away and let everything else fall away, let your life fall away.

not better than you, no one gets me like you do.

“he’s incredible, treats me very well” you turn your nose up in the air, speaking anything and everything to make him believe that you were alright without him, but as always, jimin sees right through you, he hums before leaning his chin on your shoulder and sucking in a breath, that has your knees bucking.

“does he, now?” you nodded, but the rest of your body was so still, you didn’t know if you were still breathing or not.

then, he wrapped his arms around your abdomen, pulled you flush against him, “this is how he held you, isn’t it?” you didn’t answer, “and how much time did he ask for? two minutes?” he laughed again, a sick kind of laugh that you had never heard from jimin before.

“what does he have that i don’t, love? what is it?” he mumbles into your neck, lips flush against your skin and you can’t hold the shiver that passes through you, there’s a daze that dances around you, a weight that holds your eyes down as his hands play with your skin, but you know what you two don’t have.

time. i have time, time that isn’t running out right in front of my eyes, time that doesn’t keep me up at night.

nothing, he has nothing compared to jimin.

“i will let you go only because i know you will kill him one day, and i know where you’ll be once you wash his blood away,” he steps back, leaving you with an ocean of air and a whirlpool room, it takes you a minute to come back to the world.

“actually, he will kill me,” you say finally, jimin turns around from picking his bag up, “i told him, if the warning comes, to kill me.” that decision made you feel lightweight, you would finally be rid of the system, this world, everything once things with wooseok fizzle.

you hadn’t conjured jimin’s reaction, you hadn’t put too much thought into it but a body-shaking laughter wasn’t what you expected at all.

he was bent with hands on his knees, laugh after laugh tumbling out of his mouth as he gasped for breath and you stood there, feeling unsure, humiliated and embarrassed.

and so so naked.

“what’s so funny, jimin?” he held a hand up, steadied himself with a wide grin on his face as he wiped a happy tear from the corner of his eyes, “what’s funny, love, is that you really think you will let him kill you, that is just hilarious.”

you grow red at his words as a wave of shame threatens to shake you off balance, “you know nothing about me, i’ve done enough, i’ve killed enough-“

“and you will do it again.” he says, a hint of a smirk still on his face.

i would.

i wouldn’t.

would i?

you are taken back to all the faces that you had forgotten after they died, keith, the old man, the woman, the memories that died with them, somewhere in you, you had always waited to kill some of them, even if you tried to tell yourself that you didn’t, everyone except jimin, didn’t exist in your head anymore.

“you have n-no idea what you are talking about,” you couldn’t believe that somehow jimin had figured this part of you out, you felt nauseous that he knew the worst parts of you.

“i am the only one who knows, because you loved me most, you loved me like you loved nothing else, you still do and that didn’t stop you from putting a bullet in me, did it?” he clicked on the elevator door as you hurried to catch up to him, stomping after him to prove him wrong, to tell him he had it all wrong but you have no words that are truthful to defend yourself.

i loved you like the soil loves water, like children love lollipops, like waves love the shore, i love you with all of me.

but i killed you and i cried.

i killed you.

you shoved yourself into the elevator with him, chest heaving, mind light and heavy, arms so tired but shaking with restrained anger and he looks at you with, was it pity?

“then, why chase after me if i am so vile?” you scream in his direction, a layer of you was peeled and left to bleed now, you had no idea how to stop it.

your phone buzzed and flashed red.

jimin’s phone buzzed and flashed red.

you look at each other, raw fear flashing just for a second before relaxing, isn’t this what you wanted, anyway?

your third and final warning.

“because i love you too much to care about myself and i’m the only one who can handle it, i’m the only one who would die for you.” he says with conviction, as if it was something he had rehearsed, something he had to repeat to himself. he turns his phone away and tucks it into his pocket.

you wanted to say, i love you too, and i know you’re the only one but the elevator doors open and you’re shoved into the darkness of the parking space, where wooseok stood, hands waving and a bright smile.

“save him and come back to me,” jimin whispers as he leans to give you the shortest, sweetest, most painful kiss on your temple before he’s sending you on your way and stepping back.

wooseok traps you in his arms and spins you around, pure joy radiating off him and you can only gulp and try to smile, “ready for our dinner?” he squeezes your arms with a breathtaking smile, and it takes everything in you to not vomit at his feet.

you nod, he grins and whips around to open the car door for you.

you look back to see jimin, in the elevator, just when the doors start to close, he mouths ‘till next time’ and a slow smirk grows on his face as he disappears behind the metal and you are sure you’ve left your heart in there.

“let’s go,” you sit in the car and watch out the window as it rains again, soft music plays from the radio and your body is rigid, tight, too painful to move and wooseok notices it, he reaches over, brushes your thighs with his rough so rough hands and soothes you with his words.

your phone buzzes in your lap and your heart jumps to your throat.

wooseok’s eyes turn down in sadness and you want to reach over, hold his cheeks and tell him, i love you, even if you don’t mean it but you don’t move a muscle. misunderstanding your silence, he slows the car and his phone flashes red as well, he sighs, eyes so sad, eyes lined with tears and you don’t feel anything.

it hurts that you feel as empty as a shell.

“i’ll keep my promise, i’ll give you a painless end” he mumbles softly, kissing the back of your hands and your feet start to tingle at the guilt that numbs you.

you act as if you are going to cup his face, he leans in with soft eyes and rough hands, you give a sharp tug to the steering wheel and the vehicle fastens towards a nearby tree.

you, so desperately wanted jimin to be wrong but as wooseok’s lifeless face stared back at you, you knew he was right.

you got out of the car, littered with a couple cuts and a lanky step, and walk towards the only place that belongs to you, the only place that you knew would welcome you back with snide smirks and silence and love, so much love, home.

your home.

-

‘eliminate!’

.

.

.

‘successful!’

Heyy!!! I've been reading your fics for a while and ngl THE STORIES ARE AMAZING!! they're freaking good 🤩 I just had a question actually 🙃 (sorry in advance for being dumb minded but....just had to know) curiosity kills the cat ya know 😭

At the end of the Jimin ff 'eliminated' were the words "eliminated" and "successful" for...Wooseok or........ 👀(I donno my mind's been running wild)

Have a great day btw and keep it up ✨

hello !! it always makes my day when you guys enjoy my work, thank you so much for reading and i hope you're having a lovely day :D

as for your question, it could very well be wooseok or it could be jimin and y/n 👀 i really wanted to let everyones imagination play around with the ending !

love you <3

i love you n i always get happy when i see you’ve posted. 🤍

i love you moreee, thank you for being so kind and loving ❤️

something new is coming soon🥳

(hint: its gonna have a lot of yearning, a lot of slow burn and a longer fic)

peek-a-boo! - j.jk.

genre: fluff, very mild angst and suggestive content (mentions of sex) (4.8k)

summary: at a camp that you hated, you find yourself falling for a man that tries to sneak into your tent.

masterlist

you shivered as you returned to your tent, you could not believe how you ever let your snake of a best friend, faye drag you into camping. everything was wet and cold and your skin was starting to itch beneath the layers of clothes you had adorned.

and you know how spoiled you might sound to another person, but you couldn’t help it, you missed your aroma candles, your fluffy slippers, your nighttime skincare routine, your fluffy sheets, your lam-

okay, you missed everything back home.

thankfully, you would leave this horrid place right in the morning and you swore to yourself to never listen to your best friend ever again, you might just kill her when you go back.

as you reached your tent, you dreamed of your room and your comfort back home but your steps slowed as you got closer.

was this your tent?

you looked around and sure enough, all of the tents were exactly the same in pattern and color, the only difference was the number propped on each tent.

39? 24? 46?

since when were there so many tents here?

why were so many people voluntarily torturing themselves?

all of the numbers sounded like it could be your tent and panic started to rise in you as your eyes darted pathetically towards each tent. this couldn’t be right, how could you not remember your own fucking tent?

deep breath.

“faye!” you whisper-yelled into the night, your hands shaking by your side and crickets answered, “FAYE!” you walked around all the tents, trying to find your tent and your friend, who apparently didn’t give a fuck about where you went.

you huffed after calling her name out for the 100th time and bent down on your knees, you were going to die before you got to go home.

then, like a halo light descending on you, you saw the number 54, and out of all the numbers you saw so far, that seemed the most right to you so, without caring or fact-checking, you ran to it at full speed.

as soon as you reached it, you zipped down the entry and looked around for your belongings and sure enough, your charger, your heat pack, and your phone were lying inside and you felt a rush of relief flood in you.

you smiled, thinking how silly you had been when you got lost, and happily set the alarm for the next day, snuggling into your very uncomfortable sleeping bag and kicking around until you fell asleep.

you never noticed that a very important part of your tent was missing.

your best friend.

-

a shuffle stirred you in your sleep, and your sleeping bag shifted with you as you moved, there was something in the tent that was keeping you away from your dreams and you groaned in frustration as you kicked your feet around in the bag to adjust again.

“woah, woah!” you heard someone exclaim as they grabbed your foot and you could feel your sleep slip quickly at the sound of a voice you didn’t recognize and the grip on your skin. you jolted awake, sat up, and came face-to-face with some man.

you did the smartest thing you could.

you screamed.

and screamed.

and kicked your legs forward with all the strength in your body.

you heard him groan in pain as he fell back away from the tent, you crawled forward to get out of the tent and run away and possibly kill faye.

“please calm down, let me explain” he breathed out while clutching his stomach, “why should i listen to you? you just tried to crawl into my tent in the middle of the night, you pervert!” you whisper-yelled at him, punching his arm as you got out of the tent and into the cold night.

you almost dropped dead at the wind that breezed past you, freezing your every bone.

“your friend faye told me to come here!” he protested, rubbing his arm and wincing while sitting up and at the mention of your friend’s name, you pause the plan of running away.

did no one in this camp care for each other, how could they all sleep through this?

the reality of the safety precautions here was enough to send another chill down your spine.

“before you explain, tell me what faye looks like” you needed to know if he didn’t just say her name after seeing it in a logbook or something, “light brown hair, blue eyes, and tall” he recalled off the top of his head, desperate to keep you from beating him up again.

the description was right but it still made no sense that he was here on her command.

“why the fuck would she tell you to come to our tent? wait! where even is she?” you frantically looked around, you didn’t want the last memory of your friend being wanting to kill her.

“you didn’t notice till now?” he quirked an eyebrow at you, clearly judging that you slept while your friend still hadn’t come back.

and you knew what that must tell about your character but in your defense, you were too busy dreaming of getting out of here.

“you don’t get to judge, you still haven’t told me why you are in a tent where a girl was sleeping” you pointed a finger at him accusingly and he rolled his eyes as he got up.

he held his hand out, “my name is jungkook, my friend and your friend somehow hit it off, they went skinny-dipping apparently and now they’re in my tent, doing things i would rather not discuss with a stranger, they sent me off here when i came back and that’s all there is.”

you stared at his hand, heat pooling in your cheeks.

that did sound exactly like something faye would do.

you just kicked the shit out of an innocent man.

you wanted to jump in a lake and never float back up. you hesitantly shook his hand, mumbling your name and hiding your face behind your hair. jungkook stares with mild annoyance as his arm stays wrapped around his stomach. though he has to admit, your strength was something to admire, jungkook wasn’t an easy man to hurt with a few kicks but he’s sure you have given him bruises.

“can we please get in and get some sleep?” he yawned, stretching his body and waiting for your response, you only glared at him. “are you crazy? i’m not getting into a tent with you, i don’t care that faye sent you here, there’s no way in hell that i am getting in there with you.”

jungkook blinked at you.

he waited for a beat, two beats, and then got into the tent, zipping it shut as he went.

you stared with your jaw at the floor at how he had just hijacked your only sleeping arrangement. you could hear him groan and stretch before his snores replaced the silence around you.

you scoffed in incredulity, he couldn’t be serious, faye couldn’t be serious, this entire night had to have been some wild dream you were having because you couldn’t wrap your head around how everything was going wrong.

well, you could stay right where you stood.

you didn’t mind that the night was chilling your bones, or your lips were fully chapped, or your teeth clattering or your arms shivering, it was all fine, you didn’t need to stay in some tent with some strange man, you could just spend one night out in the freezing cold.

maybe if you just relaxed and pretended to be carefree like faye for a few hours, you could manage with this.

you wrapped your arms around yourself and sat down on the chair outside your tent, folding your body to generate some warmth in you but you couldn’t ignore the prickling on your skin.

why weren’t you cool like faye?

she would’ve gotten into the tent and fallen asleep by now, maybe even make the strange man her friend, maybe have conversations into the night and here you were, being as uptight as ever, on a chair that was killing your back.

“are you seriously going to be this stubborn?” you whipped your head to see jungkook poking his head out while rubbing his eyes, and you scoffed, looking away from him. you heard him groan in response and step out of the tent.

“okay, get up,” he said, you frowned at him as he stood in front of you with his arms crossed.

“what?”

“go in.” jungkook pointed to your tent, “i already told you-“ you started to argue again and he ran an exasperated hand across his face, “i’m not getting in again, you go in there alone.”

“then what about you?” faye hadn’t returned, it didn’t seem that she would until morning so, he didn’t have anywhere to go, jungkook looked at the chair you were sitting on, “i’ll take the chair.”

“you’re sure?”

“yeah, just go in.” as soon as you got up, he plopped down on the seat and you entered your tent, zipping it up, and sighed at the warmth surrounding you. you grabbed your sleeping bag and slipped it on your body, noticing a faint scent of cologne on it, you knew it was jungkook’s and you strangely liked it.

shaking your head, you settled into your bag and shut your eyes to finally catch some sleep.

but it never came, you tossed and turned and kicked and moved, but you couldn’t sleep.

a nagging feeling occupied your stomach at the thought of leaving someone in the cold outside, even if you didn’t particularly like him, even if he was a stranger, your heart tugged at you to be more understanding of your situation.

you weren’t at home, of course, you won’t be completely comfortable in a campsite, sacrifices have to be made, and it wasn’t jungkook’s fault that your friends were horny idiots.

before you knew it, you poked your head out to look for jungkook, only to find him exactly where you left him, but he was asleep already, his head kept lolling back and forth as his neck stretched forward and the nagging in you bled into guilt as you watched him frown in his sleep, clearly uncomfortable.

you got out, hissing at the wind, and stopped where jungkook was sitting, wondering how you could wake him up without touching him.

“jungkook!” you whisper-yelled, hoping that would be enough but he didn’t even stir, you rolled your eyes, “jungkook!” you yelled again but to no avail, he stayed uncomfortably asleep.

you reached out and poked his shoulder, but that also didn’t work and you were starting to get frustrated again, being nice and understanding was starting to look like a very stupid decision.

in your irritation, you grabbed his shoulders and shook him and that did the trick, his eyes blew wide open as he started to look around him in a hurry, his gaze landing on you and a frown quickly found its way on his face.

“what are you doing? is everything okay?” his eyes darted over your face as if trying to find something that upset you, and you couldn’t help but feel a bit shy as he stared at you, “get inside” you pointed to the tent and his frown got deeper.

“just get inside while i’m still being nice.” you saw his eyebrows rise at you as a slow smirk grew on his face, then he raised his hands in surrender and did an ‘after you’ motion, as soon as you got in, he followed and zipped the tent shut.

now that he was breathing right next to you, you knew that you were going to kill faye later.

-

you two sat across from each other, not saying a word but also not sleeping or doing anything else, just watching the other with cautious eyes and curious hearts.

in the small space, his breaths were loud, every shift in his body resonated and his cologne was wafting around you. you waited for him to speak, to do anything really except look at you.

“who’s your friend?” you asked, after silence stretched for too long, jungkook’s eyebrows raised in surprise but he answered, “mingyu, he’s insane,” he said with a chuckle and shake of his head.

a smile grows on your face as you notice his dimples for the first time, “so is faye, it must be nice to be them” you can’t help the bitter undertone your voice held.

“i’m assuming you’re the not-insane counterpart in your friendship.” he said and you nodded, “unfortunately or fortunately, i am.”

“unfortunately or fortunately, so am i.” he hummed with a cheeky smile and you rolled your eyes, a grin threatening to break across your face, “i find that hard to believe, jungkook.” you eyed the tattoos decorating his arm and the confident glint in his gaze, there was no way he was more like you than he was like mingyu or faye.

“if i was like mingyu, i would be off having fun and living in the moment of the night instead of trying to sleep anywhere i could.” jungkook scoffed and you noticed the bitter undertone in his voice too.

maybe he was more like you.

“does this happen often?”

“we live together so, all the time.”

your eyes widened as you exclaimed in excitement, “so do faye and i! i can’t remember how many times i’ve had to hear someone’s moans from behind the wall” jungkook started to laugh as your face grew more animated, the more you spoke.

as his laughter fades and a smile replaces, your body loses the caution and you sink into the pillow behind you.

suddenly, the man sitting across from you was all you wanted to talk to and about. a certain vulnerability settled in the air around you as silence stretched, but this time, there was no caution or wariness, there were only one million questions that you wanted to ask him.

“does it bother you, whenever this happens?” jungkook breaks the silence while leaning forward as if he was sharing a secret, even if it was the just two of you in here, and looking at the sincerity in his eyes, you wanted to tell him every buried truth in you, “i love her, i really do, with all my heart but i’m not like she is, i don’t have as much fun, i don’t go out as much, i’ve never been able to let loose or let myself go, i always feel like i’m missing out on all the fun that she is having.”

“i just wish i was more like her” you breathed out, feeling the weight of the world lifting off your shoulders, your gaze flickered to gauge jungkook’s reaction, maybe you had spoken too much and bored him, maybe he wasn’t like you at all, but jungkook nods with an understanding that fills you with relief.

“mingyu became my friend in the first year of college when i didn’t know anyone else and he would constantly try to get me out of my shell, in my best interests of course but i wouldn’t budge, soon he accepted that i didn’t like the same things he did and stopped pushing me. but i still felt as if i was disappointing him by not doing the ‘fun’ things he was doing, even if that feeling wasn’t fair to me and even if i knew that he never thought of me like that.” you felt your eyes get teary as jungkook spilled his guts, the same way you had and you nodded at him as well, letting him know that you understood completely what he was feeling.

“i always feel like my life is passing me by, even here, i can’t wait to get out and go back to my home but look at her, she’s off having fun, not worrying about anything and she’s going to have these stories to tell forever.” you sniff as a boulder of new sadness places itself into your stomach and jungkook’s heart pinches in his chest at this.

not many things made you cry but the feeling of seeing your friends live life the way you wished to, always was a sensitive topic for you.

and jungkook doesn’t know much about you, he knows just enough to know that you were like him and he was like you.

“you have a story too, you know?” he smirked at you and you tilted your head at him in confusion, “you could always tell people how you beat up a guy when he tried to enter your tent,” you broke out in laughter and seeing the smile on your face, jungkook continues, “then how stubbornly you stayed in the cold night, had him send you back in but then go back out for him, it’s a hell of a story, if you ask me.” your laughter bubbled out of you without control, he wasn’t totally wrong, you did have a story.

“not as wild as faye’s but i guess it’s good enough” you nod in recognition, your smile refusing to budge from your face and jungkook leans back, satisfied that you aren’t as sad anymore.

“you could always tell people that you got beat up at a campsite, by a girl.” you quirked your eyebrow at him, amusement dancing on your skin and he mock gasps at you, “after everything i’ve done for you, this is how you treat me?”

“you didn’t do anything, you gave me my tent back, that doesn’t make you mother teresa” you enjoyed teasing jungkook as he shook his head, faux disappointment hanging his head down but you could see the ghost of a smile on his face.

he looked back up, eyes twinkling even if exhaustion clouded his face, and you had an idea, “hey jungkook, do you want to do something wild?”

-

jungkook’s hand tightly held yours as you two tip-toed across the campsite, barely holding back your giggles, trying to stay as quiet as you could, as if you weren’t yelling at each other an hour ago.

you reached his campsite, where your friends lay blissfully unaware of what was going around them, jungkook let go of your hand as he circled the tent carefully, and you tried not to pout about it.

then, you heard a moan, and your eyes snapped to jungkook, he was staring equally wide-eyed at you and both of you held your hands to your mouths to keep from bursting into laughter and ruining your plan.

guess your friends weren’t done getting busy.

jungkook came back to you, you wanted him to hold your hand, you swore you even saw his hand twitch in your direction but instead, he leans in to whisper, “this makes everything a million times easier.”

you agreed with eager eyes and you could see the excitement in his eyes too, which made this plan way better.

“you’ve got it?” he asked, leaning over as you pulled out your phone and wiggled your eyebrows at him, “just wait and watch.” he shook his head at you with a huge grin on his face.

you searched for the music box audio from the movie, the conjuring. faye had always been terrified of that movie, and as it turns out, so was mingyu.

“mingyu, wait, i hear some rustling outside” you heard faye speak from the inside, and sounds of them moving, “maybe just someone walking by.” mingyu seemed to try and reassure her but there was alarm in his voice too.

jungkook’s reached out for your hand and pulled you to bend near the side of the tent, you clicked the video, and the haunting, slow music filled the air around you, it was loud enough for the people in the tent to move quickly.

“what is that?” faye screeched and mingyu didn’t answer her this time, jungkook saw that your giggles were going to be out of control so he pressed his hand over your mouth and you nodded, gratefully to him.

you increased the volume of the song little by little and you heard screams from both of them as they got up in the tent and ran around in the little space, seemingly stumbling over each other and soon, the zip of the tent flew open and the pair rushed out, breathing heavily and thankfully, partially dressed.

they looked around in a rush, heads whipping in every direction and it didn’t take long for their eyes to zero in on you two crouching beside the tent, sheepish smiles on your face.

“jungkook?”

“it was you?”

they yelled at the same time as the fear in them dissolved into anger, their arms crossed across their chests, ready to pounce on you two.

jungkook tugged on your hand, leaning forward and speaking right into your ear, you resisted the chill down your back for entirely different reasons as he spoke, “run.”

he pulled you up and soon, you were running through the many, many tents around you, giggles disappearing into the night and hands refusing to loosen their grip on each other.

you peeked back to see your friends, not following you, both of them seemed to be endeared as they shook their heads and smiled at the pair of you. your friends, though different from you, knew the two of you and knew this wasn’t something you usually did so, it filled them with pride that you two seemed to have a good time, even if they were confused as to how it all started.

the wind kept freezing your face but you didn’t stop smiling, you didn’t want to tell jungkook that they weren’t chasing you, you wanted to run with him for as long as you could. you reached your tent soon enough and jungkook quickly unzipped it, grabbed your hand, and pulled you in, zipping it back up.

as soon as you two looked at each other, a new wave of laughter washed you two over as you heaved over, grabbing each other for support and laughing your lungs out, you couldn’t remember a time you had felt this happy and more importantly, you couldn’t remember a time you had felt this free.

“we missed them! the plan was genius, did you see their faces?” jungkook cheered, raising his hand for a high-five and with pursed lips, even if you knew there was nothing to miss, you slapped your hand against his.

you two leaned back on one side of the tent, catching your breaths with pure bliss on your faces. “i wouldn’t have done that without you.” he spoke up, running his thumb on the back of your hand, “i wouldn’t have even gotten the idea without you.” you admitted and a shy smile took over jungkook’s face as he looked away.

“now, you have two stories to tell.” he held up two fingers in front of your face and you pushed them away with a giggle, “i think i like the second one better,” you hummed back, jungkook quirked an eyebrow at you, “oh yeah, why?”

“it was fun” you shrugged, even if the actual words you wanted to say were much more than just fun.

because i was wild with you, i was free with you, i finally lived a moment for me, with you.

the words never came out of your mouth but you had a feeling that jungkook knew what you really felt, as he nodded at you, “i think I like this one better too,” he gave you a toothy grin, and this time, you were looking away with a blush rising on your cheeks because you knew what he meant as well.

of course, as all good things do, the night slowly started to lighten up and you could see jungkook’s face more clearly and he could see you more clearly.

he was beautiful and he looked at you as if he was seeing beauty for the first time.

but it was the last night and jungkook’s eyes flashed with recognition of that, you could feel your heart tightening in your chest when you saw his eyes turn down, knowing exactly what that meant. you couldn’t stop the night you loved from becoming the morning you dreaded and that knowledge lay heavily between you two.

-

somewhere in the dawn of the morning, your eyes fluttered open to see faye lying next to you, blissfully asleep, you assumed she must have come back at some point of the night after you slept, you couldn’t help the disappointment that washed you over.

you put your arm on your friend, who stirred but pulled you closer, you buried your head in her shoulder and thought back at the man who should’ve been there.

-

the buses lined up in front of you, all of them waiting for people to board so, you could all finally leave the campsite and go back to your homes, you should have been ecstatic to return home, to your comfort but your heart tugged on you to find jungkook.

but what if he didn’t think of this as seriously as you had? what if it was just supposed to be last night only? what if he didn’t stay up all night, thinking of you, as you had of him?

“you know, i could just call mingyu and ask him where they are, right?” faye rubbed your shoulder with sympathetic eyes, ever your cheerleader, but you shook your head, you didn’t know what you would say even if you saw him. “let’s just go, it isn’t a big deal,” you pushed her to the door of the bus and she got in with a sigh.

you stepped forward to the bus, only to hear your name resonate through the area, you whipped your head around to see jungkook running towards you, telling you to wait up and your heart dropped to your stomach, in the best way possible.

with bated breath and a blooming heart full of hope, you watched as he reached you quickly, stopping only a step away from you.

“do you always like making things hard for me?” jungkook heaved on bent knees, calling back to how you never showed him mercy since the moment he stepped into your tent and you bit back a grin, “i guess, i do.”

he gave you a crooked smile, “you guess you do” he hummed, a teasing lilt to his voice, and your cheeks heated up again, and your hands started growing clammy at the sight of him.

he really had come back for you, you should’ve known because jungkook was just like you.

“you can’t just leave me like this, after the best night of my life.”

the best night of his life.

“what do you want me to do?” you challenged, jungkook smiled as he fished out his phone, “i want you to do one wild thing for me.”

“what is it?” you asked, breathless, with your heart beating in your ears.

“let me take you on a date.” he pushed his phone into your hands, sounding sure and confident as ever, but then you saw his hands, which were shaking, much like yours and you typed in your number, saving it as the ‘girl who kicked you’.

you handed his phone back to him, jungkook barked out a laugh, his head falling back as he saw the name you saved yourself with. then, as he calmed down, he stepped forward hesitantly, hands shaking again, he leaned towards you and planted one, gentle kiss on your cheek.

he stepped back with red cheeks and you hid your face behind your hair, your entire body lit up with that simple kiss and you had to stop yourself from making happy sounds.

the bus honked behind you, breaking the tender moment and you rushed forward to wrap your arms around jungkook and stepped back just as quickly. wordlessly, you waved him goodbye as you got on the bus with fire on your cheeks and you turned back just once, to see jungkook, standing there with the goofiest grin and one hand held up to wave back to you.

as you settled into your seat next to faye, you ignored her knowing smile while glancing out the window, your heart filled with the giddiness and excitement that you had always dreamed of.

you had two stories of your own to tell and even if it wasn’t much, you had something after all the years of just wishing for stories to tell.

you had a feeling that with jungkook, you would have many more.

and you knew that he was thinking just the same thing.

note: hello everyone, it's been long since i've published something and i apologize for that, i've been experiencing some writers block and this wasn't the story i wanted to publish but i couldn't finish my original fic the way i wanted to, so i wrote this, in hope that you will enjoy it and that it will help me with my block, i'm always grateful for every read and like, thank you ❤️