Jimin Headcanons - Tumblr Posts
hello i am here to request ପ(๑•ᴗ•๑)ଓ ♡
prompt no 78 - "what? am i the bad guy? again?"
member - jimin
genre - you decide :)
hey darling! genre ended up being fluff and crack, hope you don't mind <33!!
lunatic - jimin x reader
genre: fluff, crack, sliceoflife!au, headcanon ver.
wc: 440 words
a/n: no, it's got nothing to do with moonbyul's song but I did listen to it when I wrote this! have fun reading <33!!! also, i don't remember the prices for the properties in monopoly :/ i lost the board years ago :((
"you're crazy! like-like a, uh, a lunatic! you've gone mad! for the love of God, darling, think straight!"
"what? am i the bad guy? again? is this resentment i sense, park jimin?"
jimin sighs. you've been at this for hours, back and forth, he was getting tired of this game even thoUGH he loved it.
"listen, you love me, i love you, can't we come to a grey area? hmm?"
you stare into his puppy eyes which seem to getting awfully closer, upsetting the cards on the monopoly board. you sigh a big sigh, "pay up, jimin. you landed on my owned space and you're renting it out, so shell out the bucks from the black card."
jimin really really really wishes he had his black card right now. he's really freaking broke now, like how any other normal person would say now. "i just have 50 dollars right now and if i just get abiiiiit more, i may finally get trafalgar square!"
that's all he wants, you swear. everytime you play whiskey and monopoly, he has the unhealthy obsession to get all the properties with whichever color he likes that night. you've suggested a few places where he could seek help but he's brushed it off with a, "its the whiskey yoongi hyung gave, now, pass me the card for piccadilly, will you? i wanna complete the collection!"
you see jimin eyeing the stacks of money kept by your side, covered with a quilt because, "i'm a banker! what else job do I have other than keeping money safe from your slytherin hands?"
there it goes, "no, nO, NOPE!" but before you know it :////
bunches of 20s and 100s are grabbed from under your makeshift shelter, much to the glee of the thief happily giving you the rent for pall mall.
"i never really liked pall mall anyway, too drab," he says with a flip of his hair. "your turn, yeah? come on, baby, don't look at me like that, it had to be-" and before he knows it :D
you're pouncing on him and you're shaking him back and forth about how you can never have a normal whiskey and monopoly night and he wraps his arms around you, apologizing profusely and insincerely, biggest smile on his face.
this is exactly how whiskey and monopoly nights should go. with the good whiskey and him bagging all the red and brown spaces ;)))
and with you winning either way, because he loves ending his night with you having the happiest smile on his face, throwing the money you won at him, another shot of whiskey down saying, "down for another game?"
pt time: @lvoekook ; @joondiary ; @soobhyun ; @shatzkrinslinzki ;
requests are open! check this out ^^
hello i am here to request ପ(๑•ᴗ•๑)ଓ ♡
prompt no 78 - "what? am i the bad guy? again?"
member - jimin
genre - you decide :)
hey darling! genre ended up being fluff and crack, hope you don't mind <33!!
lunatic - jimin x reader
genre: fluff, crack, sliceoflife!au, headcanon ver.
wc: 440 words
a/n: no, it's got nothing to do with moonbyul's song but I did listen to it when I wrote this! have fun reading <33!!! also, i don't remember the prices for the properties in monopoly :/ i lost the board years ago :((
"you're crazy! like-like a, uh, a lunatic! you've gone mad! for the love of God, darling, think straight!"
"what? am i the bad guy? again? is this resentment i sense, park jimin?"
jimin sighs. you've been at this for hours, back and forth, he was getting tired of this game even thoUGH he loved it.
"listen, you love me, i love you, can't we come to a grey area? hmm?"
you stare into his puppy eyes which seem to getting awfully closer, upsetting the cards on the monopoly board. you sigh a big sigh, "pay up, jimin. you landed on my owned space and you're renting it out, so shell out the bucks from the black card."
jimin really really really wishes he had his black card right now. he's really freaking broke now, like how any other normal person would say now. "i just have 50 dollars right now and if i just get abiiiiit more, i may finally get trafalgar square!"
that's all he wants, you swear. everytime you play whiskey and monopoly, he has the unhealthy obsession to get all the properties with whichever color he likes that night. you've suggested a few places where he could seek help but he's brushed it off with a, "its the whiskey yoongi hyung gave, now, pass me the card for piccadilly, will you? i wanna complete the collection!"
you see jimin eyeing the stacks of money kept by your side, covered with a quilt because, "i'm a banker! what else job do I have other than keeping money safe from your slytherin hands?"
there it goes, "no, nO, NOPE!" but before you know it :////
bunches of 20s and 100s are grabbed from under your makeshift shelter, much to the glee of the thief happily giving you the rent for pall mall.
"i never really liked pall mall anyway, too drab," he says with a flip of his hair. "your turn, yeah? come on, baby, don't look at me like that, it had to be-" and before he knows it :D
you're pouncing on him and you're shaking him back and forth about how you can never have a normal whiskey and monopoly night and he wraps his arms around you, apologizing profusely and insincerely, biggest smile on his face.
this is exactly how whiskey and monopoly nights should go. with the good whiskey and him bagging all the red and brown spaces ;)))
and with you winning either way, because he loves ending his night with you having the happiest smile on his face, throwing the money you won at him, another shot of whiskey down saying, "down for another game?"
pt time: @lvoekook ; @joondiary ; @soobhyun ; @shatzkrinslinzki ;
requests are open! check this out ^^
why do I feel like Namjoon is the type to buy you flowers and tell you "happy international women's day" when neither you nor the other members even know what day it falls in.
This is soo on brand for him tho, I love it!🥺💜
Seeing Their S/o Barefaced
Ot7 x Reader
Summary: How they would react to seeing the S/o without makeup for the first time
Warnings: none
A/N: Thanks to the lovely anon who requested this!
Masterlist
°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•
Jin: He’s openly staring at you with a tiny grin on his face, telling you simply “I like you like this.” He absolutely loves that you trust him enough to show the real, unfiltered you, spots and scars and all.
Yoongi: Tries not to react much to avoid making you feel awkward, but he’s secretly so soft. Seeing you relaxed and in your natural state makes him so happy, he can’t help stealing little looks.
Hobi: He promised he would be calm about it, but as soon as he sees you, he’s cooing and squishing your face. He just thinks you look so fucking cute, he can’t help himself!
Namjoon: He tries not to react, but you repeatedly catch him looking at you, and when you finally ask what he’s doing, he kinda sheepishly admits that he really likes seeing you barefaced.
Jimin: He knows it shouldn’t be that big of a deal, but he’s soo soft about the fact that you feel comfortable enough with him to show your natural self, he can’t help doting on his “pretty little baby”.
Taehyung: He tries to be calm about it, but he really loves that now he doesn’t have to worry about smudging your makeup when he kisses your face(which is what he will be doing for the next half hour).
Jungkook: Genuinely can’t stop giggling and squishing your cheeks bc, according to him “You’re just the fucking cutest!” It makes him really happy that you both can just be yourselves around each other.
Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @feminympho @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz
BABY TIME
🪐 bts x f! pregnant! reader (separate)
🪐 headcanons // fluff+angst
☆ warnings: none except maybe no beta read !
a/n: potential part 2 for when the baby is born? depends on if people like this.. also just short hcs bcuz well.. i overdid myself and did all 7 in one post... sigh (i made tis longer than it was supposed to be wtf)
☆KIM SEOKJIN
"Aishh! you already had chocolate earlier!"
constantly watching your diet, making sure all your vitamin and certain intakes are proper
"Jin I'm craving ramyeon with milk mixed in.." "WHAT"
catching him ask his mom what she needed and what she wouldve done if she got pregnant again (he has no shame)
he's an absolute prince in your child's eyes
when he has to leave, he calls you at least every 2 hours and if he can't, he messages you!! (asking for pics of you and the baby)
in love with role-playing with the child, wether it be king and princess, or knights and bandits (you're the damsel in distress)
☆ | 🪐 | ☆
☆MIN YOONGI
honestly, he was terrified of being a father because of his experience with his own father
once he realized the whole weight of the situation, he understood that he WILL be a good (and supportive) father because you are with him
learning that your child also has a thing for music
absolutely bringing your baby to the studio and letting him have his own crib next to his producing set-up
has noise cancelling headphones for the baby if he has to record something or when he's going to fully focus on producing
(of course has the volume on his headphones a medium volume so he can hear if the baby wakes up)
made a joke about how in daechwita, you'd be his empress and the baby is the heir
cue him posting a photo of the three of you in traditional hanbok (yoongi in daechwita outfit, without the long hair because baby will be upset)
☆ | 🪐 | ☆
☆JUNG HOSEOK
always taking photos of your progress
"look here!"
he always tries to keep you active
massages all day everydayyy
you got him to chill with the dance practices so that he both doesnt overwork himself AND you get to spend more time with him
absolutely doing the silliest things to entertain the baby
it's obvious who the favorite is 😐
showing dance moves to the baby and doing silly faces
has a picture of the three of you in hope world, he loves staring at it and just being grateful for his family
he's j-hope, you're bae-hope, baby is mini/baby-hope
☆ | 🪐 | ☆
☆KIM NAMJOON
songs containing references and metaphors that relate to you and the baby (not that he DIDNT do this before)
maybe even a whole mini-album dedicated to your journey into parenthood, each song created throughout your progress till your due date
he did his thorough research on pregnancy and things related to it and constantly gives you advice
when the baby is old enough for long distance rides, family trips are a common thing
loves cradling the baby and blabbering about an art piece they're standing in front of
you're so in love? help???
he has 3 lil plants, the 3rd plant being a new sprout that he likes to say is the baby (it sprouted the day the baby was born?? omg???)
☆ | 🪐 | ☆
☆PARK JIMIN
you became an absolute princess the moment he found out you were pregnant
wonders if the baby would grow up to have the same fingers as his papa mochi
already planning to convince the baby to try a martial art or a type of dancing so he and his papa can have multiple ways of bonding
dropping hints about the baby mochi on some of his lives
one time he asked if he can try your breastmilk
😐😑😐
teasing him about how when the baby holds his fingers, they look the same
☆ | 🪐 | ☆
☆KIM TAEHYUNG
honestly you'd have around 2-3 kids
but this is your first one, taehyung is honestly nervous
absolutely SURE he wants to be a father but more worried on if he'd be a good one
at this point, he'd also be another baby
"Ack, my feet hurt quite a bit.." "AREYOUALRIGHT?DOYOUNEEDTOGOTOTHEHOSPITAL??ILLCALLDOCTORPARK"
you personally think he might be the one more stressed even when he isnt the one carrying the baby
2nd questioner of wifey's breast milk taste
yeontan and the baby being bestfriends
yeontan has super instincts and starts going wild when he feels the baby is about to start crying
☆ | 🪐 | ☆
☆JEON JUNGKOOK
he watched the movie Up with taehyung and they googled why the old couple had a miscarriage, he learned it was from lead exposure
so now he keeps you away from drying walls and dusty areas and even has a small baggy filled with masks and cleansing tissue
he calls it "baby protection protocal"
surprisingly very calm and responsible! (hes trying to win your trust so that he can spoil your child rotten)
absolutely DROPS the fact that he is having a child and dragged you into the view of the live
3rd questioner of wifey's breast milk taste
baby plays with daddy's lip ring because he finds it really cool
baby also thinks daddy's sleeve tattoo is cool and always wants to slobber his saliva on it
baby wants to ride on bam's back??? 😭😭😭😭
Friends With Benefits Headcannons
Ot7 x Reader
Summary: How they would handle being in a fwb relationship(as well as some of their preferences in bed)
Warnings: +18 mdni, smut. Mentions of oral (m and f receiving), bondage, degradation, marking,
A/N: Could not get this concept to leave me alone while working on requests, so I thought I’d subject you all to my brainrot as well, bc I mean, that’s kinda the point of this blog, right?(sorry not sorry)
Masterlist
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Jin:
Was slightly hesitant when you first brought it up, but quickly came around to the idea. (Might have had feelings for you already, and knows that’s a no-go in these kinds of relationships, but in his mind that just made the shift in dynamic that much easier.)
Starts out really soft and sweet with you, not wanting to shock you or make you uncomfortable, but gets increasingly more intense and kinky as y’all get more comfortable with each other.
Is obsessed with your thighs and holds onto them for dear life when you ride him. Not so secretly loves ‘accidentally’ leaving marks on them.
Wants to be tied up and be used and edged till he’s crying from overstimulation.
So fucking loud in bed, you’ve had to cover his mouth a few times to keep others from overhearing the two of you(turns out he likes that though, as well as choking)
The emphasis in your relationship is still on ‘friends’ tho. Half of the time you hang out with everyone else like normal, but there are those nights when one of you asks under your breath “can you stay after the others leave?”
Lowkey starts getting a little possessive after a bit, fucking you like he’s got something to prove if he catches you looking at someone else. “Saw how you were looking at them. Bet they can’t fuck you this good, yeah? Can’t make you cream like this cock.”
Probably winds up confessing his feelings to you bc of this, but then you admit you’ve been feeling the same way. Turns out you’re just two idiots in love(good for y’all👍)
Yoongi:
Just comes out with it one day when y’all are hanging out, like “You wanna hookup?”
He’s super respectful about it, of course, but there’s a casualness to his approach that makes it easy to talk about. You wouldn’t know this was his first fwb arrangement from the way he acts.(He’s thought about it before, but he’s never actually followed through)
Chronically calls you in the middle of the night, asking if he can come over cause he can’t sleep.
Obviously, he’s Mr. Tongue Technology for a reason. He won’t even put his dick near you until you’ve cum on his mouth at least once, arms hooked around your thighs to keep you right where he wants you.
Surprisingly soft in bed, unless he’s had a really frustrating week, and then he’s pounding into you so hard you can’t walk right the next day, running his mouth the whole time like “Such a pretty little cocksleeve.”
He tends to feel really guilty afterwards though, so his aftercare is god tier. Warm baths and reassuring words, massaging any sore muscles, will even cook for you if you want.
Addicted to kissing you. Will straight up ask you, like “I’m bored, wanna make out?” He’s not content until he’s sucking on your tongue.(might have a slight oral fixation)
I could see him maybe catching feelings? But if he does, you will never know unless you bring it up first, cause he will take that shit to the grave before fucking things up with you.
Hobi:
Oddly enough, I think he would really love this dynamic? Like there’s something just so comfortable about the fact that it’s you and him that makes it easy for him to let go.
When the subject came up, he kinda just went with it, almost out of curiosity, but he very quickly became addicted to feeling of you around him.
Love, love, loves sneaky quickies, dragging you off to the bathroom when you're out with friends, having to be as silent as possible so no one overhears y’all, despite him pistoning himself into you as fast as humanly possible. Knowing you’re going around the rest of the night with his cum leaking out of you makes him crazy.
The term ‘sweet but psycho’ comes to mind, bc you never know which Hobi you’re going to get; The sweet one that kisses and caresses you softly as he rolls his hips into yours, or the dark one that shoves your face down in the pillows as he relentlessly pounds into you from behind.
Has a way of saying the filthiest things so that they’re somehow almost sweet? “You’re my little whore aren’t you? No one else’s, only mine.”
Loves buying you things to you to model/wear for him, mainly lingerie, but it can be anything he saw and thought you’d look cute in(not jewelry tho, he worries about that coming off as too intimate or relationship-y)
Ends up catching feelings, but takes so long to confess that it’s obvious to everyone but him.
Namjoon:
This dynamic would work really well for him, until it doesn’t.
When you first suggested the idea, he was super into it. He has a fear of getting over-attached, so he likes the easy, casual nature of it, but he’s a romantic deep down and that starts to bleed into his actions.
Tends to call you when he’s stressed, fucking all of his frustrations out into you, pounding into you from behind with your face burried in the pillows.
Other times, he’s so soft and tender, kissing and worshipping every inch of you while fucking you so nice and slow you could cry(and you have)
Loves watching you suck him off, real slow and sloppy like, and has invited you to his studio on multiple occasions for the sole purpose of this, cause it’s one of his favorite fantasies.
His other favorite tho is when you pin his hands to the bed and ride him(he’s mentioned it in too many songs to not mention). Watching you take control and use him for your own pleasure drives him wild.
I could see him fucking up and saying I love you during sex, though whether he realizes at the time is debatable.
Jimin:
Neither of you exactly brought it up, things just sort of escalated after a few too many drinks, and suddenly you were on his lap making out.
Once your brains managed to catch up, you kinda sat back like wtf?! But you both admitted you really wanted to continue, so things just kinda progressed naturally from there.
Honestly, It’s so close to dating, idk why y’all don’t just admit you love each other and save the trouble of ‘sneaking around’(Poor Jk has walked in on too many things that he can’t unsee)
Gets off on your pleasure, would happily spend the whole night with his head between your legs if you’d let him.
Needs to keep his mouth busy at all times. Will just come up to you, pouting like 🥺“I want kisses.”
Found out he was into choking by accident while you were riding him once and lost your balance and your hand slipped to his neck and he almost came on the spot. The feeling of you controlling his breath makes him lightheaded in more than one way.
His favorite is when you spoon/sit behind him and jerk him off, one hand on his cock and one hand around his throat, whispering the sweetest filthy things in his ear the whole time.(Call him ‘good boy’ and his knees will buckle)
Taehyung:
Probably brought it up first out of morbid curiosity as you were both talking one night, but was so relieved you said yes.
Y’all are almost more cuddle buddies than anything else bc he just loves casual affection, holding you close, tracing his hands over your skin.
When y’all do have sex though, he’s super intense. Lots of eye contact and deep kisses as he rolls his hips into yours, practically laying on top of you(or you on top of him, he’s not choosey). He just wants to be as close to you as humanly possible.
Likes taking you out on lil dates, even though you told him that’s not quite what fwb’s do, but he doesn’t care. He considers it a form of foreplay, plus he just likes to spoil you.
Really gets off on you marking him up. He loves finding your little masterpieces scratched into his back the next morning and wears them with pride.
One of his favorites tho is watching you fall apart on his fingers, especially while yours are wrapped tightly around his cock.
Has called you multiple times in the middle of the night while jerking off because he cums better to the sound of your voice.
Might end up catching feelings, but it would take him a bit to realize because of the aesthetically romanticized way he views your relationship.
Jungkook:
He was probably the one who brought it up initially, half joking, like “Well, why don’t we just fuck?” But then when you started actually considering it, he was like 😳”holy shit wait really?!”
Honestly, he does quite well with this arrangement, it almost becomes a weekly routine for the two you: you meet up, you hang out/have dinner, you fuck. Sounds like the perfect evening to him, tbh.
He’s actually such a big softie. Loves slow, deep sex where it just hands trailing everywhere, lips on lips, swallowing each other's moans and sighs. (He doesn’t admit it at first, but he loves it when you sleep over so he can hold/cuddle you.)
But he also loves being rough with you, manhandling you into whatever position he wants and pounding into you till you're screaming his name.
(honestly, he probably goes between both styles in the same session)
He has crazy high stamina, so y’all almost always go multiple rounds, not stopping till both of you are absolutely wrecked (“I’m not done yet, understand?”)
Wants you to sit on his face, and I mean sit. He gets so irritated with that hovering bullshit and will pull you down on him. “What, you think I can’t handle it or smth?!”
It wouldn’t be a Jk list if I didn’t bring up his possessive streak, so yeah, don’t let him catch you looking at anyone else, unless you want to not walk properly tomorrow. He doesn’t care that y’all aren't a technical couple, your his and he’s yours.
Taglist:@sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz
Bts as Doms
Ot7 x Reader
Summary: Headcanons about how the members would be as Doms
Warnings: +18 mdni, smut. Mentions of bondage, oral(f. and m. receiving), degradation, spanking, choking, free use, edging, orgasm denial, one daddy joke(and this is the only time you will ever see it on this blog) not proofread
A/N: Thanks to @a-gayish-unicorn for requesting this! This list is a bit of a mess, but I didn’t want to leave you guys hanging all week without anything. As always, If y’all have any additional thoughts, feel free to add them in the notes!
Masterlist
°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•
Jin:
He’s mainly a soft dom, but he also gives Brat Enabler vibes. Like, he kinda loves when you sass him and act up in the same ways that he does when you’re in charge so that he can punish you.
Loves when you’re good for him tho and let him use you however he wants, holding your hair as he guides your mouth up and down his length, cooing at you whenever you gag around him.
Teases you constantly, making you tell him exactly what it is you want from him before he’ll do anything, letting his hands just ghost over your body and making it increasingly difficult for you to think.
Big fan of restraints and edging, pinning your hands over your head while he pushes into you, slowing his hips just before you both cum. “You can take it for a little longer, right Sweetie?”
Somehow still manages to make everything feel intimate and romantic. Like, he could be absolutely railing you from behind, but he’s whispering the sweetest things in your ear as he is doing so, telling you how good you’re doing for him and how much he loves you.
Tends to only be rough or mark you up when he’s feeling particularly needy or possessive, wanting to make sure that people know you’re taken.
Yoongi:
I’ve said it before, but he gives soft pleasure dom vibes. Like, he might get a little rough with you sometimes, but he really doesn’t have it in him to be overly strict or harsh with you.
Has certain petnames that he only uses for you when he’s in these moods. “Kitten, can you come here please?”
Drives him crazy to see you spread out or on your knees for him, so pliant and waiting with that desperate look in your eyes.
Similar to when he’s subbing, he’s not too crazy about degradation, but he really loves to tease you, always mixing in some sweet words so it doesn't sting too much, but still makes you blush and flustered, calling you his needy little baby while you ride his thigh.
Absolutely loves overstimulating you. Man will eat you out for hours till you’re in tears and writhing in his hold, begging for a break.
Super soft aftercare is always a must with him, no matter what kind of scene you just played out. He really enjoys the quiet intimacy of cleaning up and looking after you while you come back down.
Hobi:
Hobi is a hard, but very nurturing dom. Like, he’s super strict and not afraid to be rough with you, but everything he does is accompanied by soft guidance and reassurances in a low voice that makes your mind go a little hazy. “You gonna let me take care of you, Sweetheart?”
Rigger for sure, he loves shibari and thinks you look so pretty tied up in different styles. Would definitely take pictures of you like that if you’re comfortable with it.
Almost every time he doms ends with you face down, ass up, with one of his hands wound into your hair so he can pull you up to hear your moans while he pounds into you.
He’s also a fan of spanking for sure, be it on your ass, your thighs, etc. He has a slight sadism kink that peaks through now and then, but he never takes it very far.
Partially because of that tho, he tends to be extra sweet during aftercare, needing to balance out any harshness or punishments by being as close and soft with you as possible to help ground both of you afterwards.
He gives Sugar Daddy vibes, tbh. He loves spoiling you and buying you pretty things like jewelry or lingerie to wear for him. Also really into non-sexual shows of domination, like resting a hand on your back when you’re out together, it makes him feel like your protector.
Namjoon:
Daddy-Sorry what?
But fr tho, although he gives hard dom vibes, I think he actually leans more to the soft side, bordering on pleasure dom energy. He really gets off on your reactions and being the one to take care of you.
Obviously has a thing for dirty talk, as well as a slight humiliation kink. He loves making you tell him exactly what you want/need from him, because 1. Communication is super important and sexy, and 2. He knows it embarrasses you a bit and helps push you further into subspace.
Very big fan of bondage and sensory deprivation. He loves how sensitive and reactive it makes you, the tiniest touches making you twitch and wine.
Big fan of manhandling you into whatever position he wants, his favorites being mating press or having you ride him until he gets impatient and starts thrusting up into you.
Loves edging and orgasm denial, seeing how close he can get you to the edge every time before you finally fall apart. “Hold it. Don’t you dare fucking cum yet.”
Jimin:
Surprisingly stern dom with slight Brat Tamer energy. Like, don’t let the angel eyes fool you, when he gives you an order, he expects you to follow it or face the consequences,
Biggest fucking tease and the teensiest bit of a sadist, he will edge and overstimulate you within a inch of sanity, cooing sickly sweet little remarks in your ear. “Poor baby, can't even handle a couple rounds? We’ll just have to build up your stamina, won’t we?”
As harsh as he might be with teasing and punishments, he’s equally as generous with rewards when you’re good for him.
Big fan of guided masturbation, having you spread all pretty for him as he tells you exactly how to touch yourself or him.
Definitely likes experimenting with different themes and toys/tools. The type that would have you wear vibrating panties when you go out together so that he can tease you by turning them on randomly and watch you squirm.
Super soft with aftercare tho, handling you with the gentlest touches and sweet words. He always wants to make sure you know just how much he loves and cares for you after every session, holding you til you fall asleep.
Taehyung:
Super soft dom, he absolutely loves getting to baby you, kissing and touching you all over until you're a pile of mush in his arms. “Can I make you feel good, Baby? Please?”
He’s very much an aestheticist, he loves roleplay and setting the scene, as well as buying pretty little outfits for you to wear for him.
Praises you constantly, telling you how good you feel, how well you’re doing for him, how much he loves getting to see you like this, etc.
Definitely into taking photos and filming the two of you. Probably has a whole photo album of pictures, ranging from blurry polaroids to more professional shots he took with his film camera or phone.
Torturous levels of teasing. He will finger you for hours, bringing you to the very edge before stopping, kissing you as you cry in frustration.
Really loves the idea of free use, gifting you a special necklace or bracelet for you to wear as a sign to him that he can do whatever he wants with you. The idea of you always being willing to take him makes his ego(and other things) swell with pride.
Jungkook:
He has his softer moments, but I think when he doms, he tends to lean more towards hard dom. He really loves being in control and going all out on you.
Big fan of breathplay. He loves the way it makes you shake and clench around him, tattooed hand snaking up to hold your neck and squeezing just enough to make your eyes roll back in your head.
He fucking loves to overstimulate you, making you keep count of how many times you’ve cum before he’s even inside you.
When he’s in a teasing mood tho, he’s so fucking mean, denying and ruining you orgasms, laughing when you get frustrated. “I’m sorry baby, were you gonna cum?”
Loves leaving marks all over on you, be it hickeys/bitemarks, handprints, etc. His favorite tho is probably cumming inside you, watching it leak out before pushing it back in with his fingers(feel like he has an untapped breeding kink, but-)
Also really loves looking after you in non-sexual ways, be it paying for your meal or just helping you get something off a shelf that’s too high for you. It makes him feel needed.
Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @feminympho @a-gayish-unicorn @dfqcsqueen @mother2monsters @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz
filthy bts headcanons - maknae line
now the filthy headcanons are complete!
hyung line headcanons here
JIMIN
he is absolutely without a doubt the king of foreplay, don’t @ me.
jimin will happily spend hours exploring your body with his mouth and hands, winding you up and ratcheting up the tension to such a level that you’re nearly pleading for him to fuck you before he actually does.
he’s sensual, he enjoys the intimacy and the journey of sex.
enjoys having sex in front of a mirror because he loves to watch what he makes you do and he loves to make you watch what he makes you do. he wants you to see the effect that he can have on you. plus, he’s a performer and being in front of the mirror makes you both audience members.
i think now is also the time to mention his exhibitionist streak. he is a fan of sending and receiving texts, sexts, pics, etc as well as masturbating together via phone and video. i’ve mentioned this about hobi in both of the previous filthy headcanons and the same is true of jimin but in a different way - hobi likes it because hobi wants to try everything and switch it up and keep it interesting; jimin likes it because he's a natural born performer who gets off on holding your undivided attention and knowing that he turns you on every bit as much as you turn him on.
he has a praise kink that goes both way - he wants you to compliment him, but he is in turn also SO complimentary of everything, from how you look to how you sound to how you taste to what you’re doing well. you never have to guess at what he likes or how he likes because he is so open about it.
so he’s very talkative during sex. beyond letting you know how much he loves you and how beautiful you are and how good you feel, he also asks about what you’re feeling and what you need from him, if you like it, if you want more. he wants to feel desired and needed.
two words: possessive sex.
and he wants you to know that it’s possessive and not jealousy because jealousy implies envy and he doesn’t envy anyone because he knows that you’re his. he just wants to make sure that you know that you’re his.
this involves all night long level wrecking where he will fuck you into next week. it’s hard to forget you’re his when he’s the reason you’re limping around the next couple of days.
he ain't too proud to beg. wanna hear it? put your mouth on him - and that doesn't exclusively mean his dick. he gets weak over lovebites on his neck and chest.
a switch who likes to be lightly choked.
he’s into mutual choking but he doesn't want to hurt you or be hurt beyond being just a tad bit rough. he once spanked you so hard during sex that he left a handprint and was almost at the point of tears before you could tell him that you were fine and in fact kinda liked it.
another fan of overstimulation, but make it mutual. ideally, he wants both of you to be a mess by the time the sex session is over.
favorite position is lotus because he likes the closeness of you on his lap and the two of you moving together.
is weak over mutual masturbation. is such a good boy. loves the challenge of only touching himself while watching you touch yourself and knowing that you’re both itching for each other.
have you noticed that the keyword with jimin is “mutual”? i don’t think there’s anyone who could deny that he is a people pleaser (this is also why his head game is on point and why he’s usually moaning as much as you are when he eats you out)
TAEHYUNG
worships the ground you walk on with no hesitation or embarrassment about it.
the guys would try to tease him about being whipped and all he does is smile that boxy smile.
he spoils you SO MUCH.
like, you don’t even need to ask for anything. even if you don't wanna be a sugar baby, prepare. to. be. spoiled. his favorite things to buy you are lingerie and jewelry. can’t you just imagine the smile when you step out in something he's bought you? and then the best part of it all is he buys it, you model it, and then he fucks you in. if that isn’t a win-win!
because he’s gotten teased in the past over his skin color, he loves your skintone and he loves to see the contrast of your skin against his. when you fuck, he’s always torn between watching your face and watching your pussy swallow his dick.
this is why he’s also a fan of mirror sex, but unlike his bestie, it’s because he wants to watch the two of you together and see your bodies intertwined. to him, no work of art could ever compare.
especially loves to fuck in front of the mirror when you’re both looking expensive AF.
catch him shamelessly trying to fuck you first thing in the morning. you think he’s just sweetly cuddling you but then you feel him rutting against you and his morning voice is all low and raspy and his hands are gently squeezing you and he’s whispering “jagiya” against your neck and it’s like….did you even stand a chance?
tae is another one who seems a little conservative but we know tae is mischievous and sassy - he gets kinkier once he's comfortable. i wholeheartedly believe that he is secretly a freak with a dark and kinky edge who is also tender and romantic.
the duality will have your head spinning because he will seriously be talking about marrying you one minute and then splitting you open on his cock and talking about fucking a baby into you the next.
because yes, let’s just admit it: ya boy has an impregnation kink.
casual sex? kim taehyung doesn’t know her - if you’re fucking, you’re in love. he is not here for the okey-dokey and he’s not one to play games. he’s ready to say ILY and shack up within the first few months. he’s out here mentally picking out your gucci china patterns after you meet his parents. so yes, his favorite thing is coming inside of you and talking about how beautiful you’re going to look when you’re round with his baby. the moment you let him rawdog, he goes feral.
loves if you get him off when he shouldn't be getting off - like while on vlive or in the backseat of the car or on the phone with the guys and he has to try to keep it together.
also, is totally the kind of freak who would think it was hot to share you with jimin if you were interested.
he honestly loves slow, drawn out makeout sessions wherein you get him hard from grinding the crease out of his pants but don't actually touch him. it makes him insane and he eventually snaps and loses all control.
will call you every single pet name in the book
wants to get you a sex toy he can control specifically to torture you in public. make no mistake - it’s not about the novelty, it’s about the power and the sheer naughty thrill of it.
JUNGKOOK
are you ready to be perennially exhausted with hickies dotting your neck, chest, and thighs?
is one of the members with the highest stamina. will fuck your brains out, make you come, follow you over the edge, and then be ready for another round in 15 minutes at the most.
if you can pull him from sleep, he will happily wake up in the middle of the night for sex with you. you could come home in the middle of the day and say nothing but “hey” and he would still be ready to rip his pants off like it’s the nba.
this is another one with pretty hands who knows how to use them to get you off.
he is eager and aims to please. he wants to learn what you like and he likes to be educated in that subject - and he’s a quick learner. you moan at something he does once, he’s not only going to remember that you liked it, but he’s going to find ways to perfect touching you there.
he can be a little competitive even when it comes to sex - you not getting off is not an option for him. you can explain to him that sex doesn’t always have to end in orgasm to be and feel good, but he still feels guilty if he comes and you don’t. and he wants you to come first, preferably multiple times, before he does.
beyond obsessed with your tits - your entire body, but especially your tits.
he loves any position that puts them in his face and gets them within reach of his mouth.
when he goes down on you, more often than not, he has both hands cupping your breasts (unless he needs his hands to pin your legs apart).
and when eating you out, he likes it sloppy. he wants you canting your hips up to ride against his face and completely wet his mouth, nose, and chin with you.
he’s said it before and i’ll just reiterate it for him: he likes noonas. i’ll go beyond that and say he has a noona kink. he doesn’t want to draw attention to the fact that he’s younger, per se, but he does like to learn from you and finds it sexy when you’re experienced. he also finds it sexy when he’s younger than you and still manages to turn you out. since he’s accustomed to being the baby, he’s sweet, we know this, but he can be kind of a brat who wants to be taken care of. he still wants you to see him as mature and capable but he also likes to have his way. he contains multitudes.
uses the power of the pout to get his way and has no shame about it.
favors positions where he can show off how strong he is so that means any athletic position where he has the control and can hold you up and pound into you.
this often happens after a gym session or after you two have argued. though in the case of angry sex, he’ll want reassurance after that your problem is legitimately solved and that you haven’t just fucked about it.
sex with him is, more often than not, sweaty, primal, and dirty; he will rip your clothes off in his eagerness and the room will be filled with your moans, his grunts, and the sound of skin meeting skin. say a prayer for your bedframe, the wall behind it, and the neighbors on the other side.
as much as he likes to leave hickies on you, he’s weak when you do the same and doubly so when you bite at his shoulders and scratch down his back.
he will do and say some dirty shit to you and then have the audacity to get bashful after
another one who likes to pull you onto his lap all the time but then he has to move you after a few minutes because just having you on his lap made him hard.
likes to lay his head on your chest, however, if you play with his hair while he lays on you, be prepared to fuck
if you wear shorts or no pants to bed, be prepared to fuck
if you let him shower with you, be prepared to fuck
if you go to the gym with him….guess what?
© fandomnoire — do not translate, re-distribute, or copy my work
bts x idol!gf headcanons pls!!
i’ve been loooving ur bts boyfriend headcanons so far! ur so talented
Omg thank you so much 🫶🏽 I actually enjoyed writing this. Here you go & enjoy! <3
Namjoon:
• Tries to be discreet with your dating but will accidentally leave hints like some of your merch/stuff in the background of his pics/lives.
• Paparazzi pics in museums & galleries. Definitely off guard
• Always in touch when the other is away.
• Will publicly share your music/projects. Is a big supporter
• Spotting’s in clubs. Shades on dancing the night away. Y’all are definitely the talk of the night
• You both subtly post things on your story that insinuates that you both might be dating. Same location, same background, posting pics at same event or place. Posting songs that relate to each other.
• You both definitely talk through your stories. Talking to each other through songs or silly captions etc
Jin:
• Will shut down any bad rumour about you. Very defensive when it comes to you.
• Big supporter and is at all of your shows/events cheering you on if he can.
• Goes on live wearing your merch
• Lives where both of you are cooking together and bickering with each other about who’s better or who does it right.
• Idk I can see y’all presenting together?!! And kinda teasing each other. (I see this before you start dating. And this causes speculation which kind of initiates both of you dating??)
• You both definitely post pics of each other being a mess. Off guard pics 100%
Yoongi:
• Song covers while he plays the instrumental for you on his guitar or piano
• Will stick up for you and will shut down any bad rumour about you. Very defensive when it comes to you. And if you're getting hate he's gonna make sure it's dealt with
• Very protective when out in public together. Is like your own little personal bodyguard and will hold your hand and lead you away from the paparazzi/fans
• Will go on live and call out everyone for your fan edits. Even though he acts like he doesn’t like it he blushes and secretly saves them.
• He’s caught with your picture as his lockscreen
Hobi:
• Loads of dance videos and choreographies.
• Lives where you both are just dancing and vibing in the practice room.
• Duet video dance covers that he begs you to do
• Cameos in each others MVs
• Has your merch. Has your photocard hanging on his jeans or bag for sure.
• Is spotted with your initials painted on his fingernails
• Always showing you off to the cameras with a big grin on his face. Showing your photocard, merch, his lockscreen of you, showing his nails or any jewellery with your initials on it.
• Taking selfies with your posters/adverts with a big smile on his face. Or even will do a little freestyle dance in front of it lmfao
Jimin:
• Cameos in each others projects. Him more so in yours.
• Will talk about you in his lives. Will purposely make up a comment and read it out and then go on a whole rant about you. Will get shy and then wave it off
• Duet video covers that you beg him to do
• Posting pics with the same background/location so people know you're together
• Likes every and any fan edit of you both.
• You both are always spotted on little dates like cafes, pottery painting or just casual walks
• You both wear matching jewellery that he picked out himself
• Taking selfies with your posters/adverts with a happy proud smile on his face and the most sentimental and encouraging paragraph
Taehyung:
• Cameos in each others projects/MVs
• Loads of leaked messages of y'all being messy
LFMAO.
• Loads of photo shoots from him. He loves being your personal photographer
• Will purposely like and interact with any conspiracies and speculations about you dating. (Before you both went public with your relationship)
• He will beg you to go on variety shows together. He sees it as something fun. I can see you both bickering during the recording and making fun of each other/ teasing. You both would kill it though even though you don’t take it seriously you’d probably end up doing great in the games.
• Public outing spottings. You guys are always seen out together holding hands or him with his arm around you. You guys always stop for pictures.
• You both wear matching jewellery to symbolise your relationship
• Y’all are always caught kissing in public. So many pictures have been leaked
Jungkook:
• Paparazzi pics of your date nights. Holding hands and running away from the paparazzi/fans as a game
• Very sneaky and lowkey. Like you're known to be dating but you're very sneaky with it. Always hiding from paparazzi and not really speaking about your relationship publicly.
• But will publicly stick up for you if there's rumours going around or hate. He's shutting that shit down
• Duet cover videos that you guys randomly post that has the fans going insane
• Hot dance covers. Y’all both being sweaty having re-recorded many times due to fuck ups, teasing and getting distracted iykwim ;)
• Always FaceTiming and calling when either of you are away. You both miss each other so much and you can't go without communicating. He literally will keep on messaging you if you don't respond
• Fan edits go crazy and he eats it up every time. He’s obsessed with watching them.
• I can imagine him calling you during his promotion sketch videos. Seen giggling on the phone to you, excited to talk to you after his promotions. Sometimes you might even make a cameo in them
• You’re always seen discretely wearing his clothes
Bts As Subs
Sub!Ot7 x Dom!Reader
Summary: Headcanons about how the members would be as Subs
Warnings: +18 mdni, smut. Swearing. Mentions of dom/sub dynamics, bdsm, oral(f. and m. receiving), handjobs, edging, overstimulation, degradation, thigh riding, pegging, petplay, dacryphilia, marking, slapping, scratching, aftercare. Not proofread.
A/N: Thanks to the lovely anon who requested this! Working on this actually helped a lot with my writers block and gave me waay too many ideas for fics👀 But I hope you like ‘em!
Masterlist
°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•
Jin:
Is either the sweetest, best behaved baby boy or an absolute brat, depending on his mood.
Loves to run his mouth just to get a rise out of you, whining and complaining about your teasing, but turns into absolutely mush once you get him under you.
Likes when you tie him to the headboard and jerk him off while sitting on his lap, close enough to still kiss him but not letting him touch yet, letting him cry into your neck when he finally cums all over your hand.
He’s so loud and whiny, it almost sounds like he’s singing until his voice cracks.
Someone mentioned this on his nsfw list, and I had to mention it here, he has a slight oral fixation and needs access to your chest while you ride him, sucking and biting hard enough to leave marks(which he says he’s sorry for, but you know he isn’t really)
Lowkey masochistic and enjoys punishments, loving when you mark and scratch him up, or edge him till he cries.
But what he really loves when you just ride him soft and slow, moving just fast enough to make him needy, but not letting him cum, edging you both till he’s desperate and pleading to cum.
Yoongi:
Turns into the sweetest, vulnerable little kitten. You can always tell when he’s feeling subby from the way he buries his face in your chest or your neck, in both sexual and nonsexual situations. He's just so soft and just wants to be taken care of(pls protect him🥺)
So fucking whiny, but he tries to muffle them, biting his lip and scrunching his face up so hard, he almost looks in pain(until you bite/suck the sweet spot on his neck and he just starts wailing).
Prefers things to be half kinky, half vanilla(the vanilla stuff is always what makes him cum tho)
Like, he enjoys when you’re mean and tease him, but he really can’t handle much degradation, so it needs to be combined with a lot of sweet words and kisses.
Cries so prettily when you peg/breed him.
Is slightly embarrassed at how quickly he cums from thigh riding, hiding his face in your neck as his hips stutter against you.
Needs a fair bit of aftercare to ground him and help him come back down, mainly just sitting and holding each other.
Hobi:
Ooh the range of this boy😍, he's always so bright and eager, and tries so hard to be a good boy it’s almost painful, how could you not reward him?🥺
Loves it when you’re rough with him, wanting you to slap, scratch, mark, and degrade him, etc. He’ll take it all with a smile.
Tie him up and and tease him by making him watch while you touch yourself, his poor cock twitching and leaking with every noise you make(he may have broken a chair from pulling so hard on his restraints)
Absolutely melts tho when you’re soft with him, holding his hands while you ride him, caressing his arms and chest while leaving kisses all over his face.
Loves it when you edge and overstimulate him.
Needs lots of cuddles and praise afterwards, usually falls asleep on your chest.
He's just so cute and needy, literally everything you do turns him on. You’re cuddling? He’s hard. Dancing around the kitchen? Hard. Folding laundry? Hard.
Loves when you do extra little things to take care him or buy him lil gifts, it makes him feel special and appreciated!
Namjoon:
Honestly, it takes so much work for him to let go and fall into a sub headspace, but once he does, he turns into such a clingy baby.
Like normally he looks kinda intimidating, but deep down he’s just a giant teddy bear.
You’re gonna need the cuffs for this one, for multiple reasons.
He gets so impatient sometimes and almost involuntarily tries to take over, bucking up into you or gripping your hands/hips to guide your movements.
He literally has to have his hands on you at all times, whether that grasping at your waist hips, groping your chest, or just holding your hands(not letting him touch you in one the biggest punishments for him)
Will actually beg to taste you or for you to ride his face, like he needs to be between your thighs, however brief it may be, or he’ll sulk.
As vocal as he is when he doms, he goes almost non-verbal when he’s really in sub-space, only letting out little whimpers and whines of your name.
Actually prefers looking after you during aftercare to help him come down, needs a fair bit of reassurance afterwards. “Did I do good?”(of course you did, you djehfksjdkwjf)
Jimin:
The best behaved boy. Choke him, cuff him, blindfold him, he’ll take whatever you give him and say thank you🥺
Not exactly a brat, but he can’t resist making sassy little comments to rile you up sometimes when he wants to be punished.
On the flip side, he’s very much a people pleaser and has a massive praise kink, so he needs to hear that he’s doing good and making you happy.(could probably cum untouched from just you petting and praising him)
Lets out the prettiest whines and moans when you ride or peg him
Loves dressing up for you, whether in pretty little lingerie pieces, or a shirt/outfit in your favorite color for date night.
Lowkey sugarbaby vibes. He gets so blushy and smiley when you buy him lil gifts like jewelry or accessories and always makes sure to wear them for you cause he’s your pretty little baby.
Has a slight oral fixation and tends to fall asleep while sucking on your chest, fingers, or even your neck.
Taehyung:
Puppy. Just an absolute puppy, like actually call him that pls, he will dissolve.
He is slightly into petplay, but nothing too extreme, mainly just a pretty collar for you to pull him around by or to hold onto while he rides your strap-on.
Definitely has his bratty moments every now and then, but he really can’t handle a lot of punishment, so he’s always super apologetic.
Lowkey voyeuristic, loves the idea of someone seeing or overhearing the two of you together and just how much of a mess you make him.
Dresses up for you, whether that’s lingerie or just a sweater you really like on him(tho he will come to you wearing nothing but that, like a reverse of the ‘wearing their shirt’ thing)
He's surprisingly good at keeping edged and overstimulated, so he can handle and actually really likes long, drawn out handjobs.
Really likes non-sexual shows of dominance from you. Like when you treat him to meals/drinks, or hold onto him to guide him around, it makes him feel cared for.😊
Jungkook:
Right on the line between good boy and brat. He likes to run his mouth and challenge you, but once you start doling out punishments, he turns into the softest baby. “I’m sorry Jagi, I’ll be good, I promise. Please still let me cum!”🥺
Super unsubtle and touchy when he’s in a subby mood(tho, he’s exactly subtle the rest of the time either, so), kneading your hips as he grinds against you, pleading softly for you to please come help take care of his ‘problem’.
So fucking squirmy, he can’t keep still even if he tried, hips bucking and twitching involuntarily with every little touch.
He’s just soo sensitive and cums super fast whenever he subs.
He’s very middle ground on kinks and everything. He likes a lot of the harder stuff like bondage and degradation, but he needs some softer treatment mixed in and a lot of aftercare to balance out or else he’ll feel bad.
He actually really loves it tho when you make him cry from teasing and overstimulation.
Lowkey loves when you look after him in non sexual ways, making sure he’s alright and letting your protective side show through.
Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @feminympho @a-gayish-unicorn @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz
eliminate! - p.jm.
genre: major angst, suggestive content, dystopian!au (warnings include violence, death and mentions of blood) (8.8k wc)
summary: in a world where people killed those they loved, to survive, to be alive, you and jimin can't seem to be parted and the impending doom of your relationship stretches the two of you out before you are forced to make the choice, to love or to die?
masterlist
(i highly recommend listening to heartbeat by childish gambino while reading this, enjoy <3)
-
october 20th, 2022.
rain traveled down your back, slowly, mockingly but fell with full force on top of your head and clouded your vision. red lights flashed, green lights flashed, white lights flashed but somehow, he was still there, in the midst of it all, clear as day in the dead of the night.
it couldn’t be him, not after all this while, not after you’d given it all up.
but the hand that held your gun quivered, your blinking became slower as your eyes tried to focus on him, drink him in, forget him, remember him, anything it can do, see him.
it shouldn’t have come to this.
a road shouldn’t be separating you two, a gun in your hand should’ve never been held, the rain should've never dared to hide him from you but it was all happening, and all you could do was look.
you felt his sorrow from across the street, his shaking hands that held his own gun, and you knew you had to do this for the relief of the other, whoever survived.
your phone blinked and buzzed rapidly with the word ‘eliminate!’ on your screen and you knew the decision that you had to make.
so, as cars and bikes zoomed and honked and blared in your ears, your hand lifted to point the gun at him, you knew he would do the same, the principle was survival of the fittest after all.
but as you pulled the trigger and the bullet rang through the air and bolted in his direction, you realized he never lifted his hand.
you fell to your knees as the rain continued its assault on your body. your eyes forgave you by closing themselves so you would never have to see his body on the ground.
your screen became green.
‘successful!’
it shouldn’t have come to this.
-
the government and all other higher organizations had their eyes on the few numbers of marriages that took place and even fewer marriages that lasted, divorce rates were at an all-time high, and that resulted in the chaos of the world as it was.
because it was a chain reaction.
marriages lead to unhappy individuals, sometimes with children, sometimes with large families, this led to divorces, which led to unhappy and traumatized children, years of therapy that didn’t quite fix anything, unhappy and traumatized children didn’t serve to be responsible citizens who fulfilled the duties that the government needed.
and soon, they had to step in.
they introduced a system based on nature’s most ancient method, the method of survival by elimination. the system had everyone’s data down to the chromosomes that built them and used this system to establish romantic compatibility between individuals. this would allow society, as a whole, to have lasting, emotionally fulfilling relationships.
but they had other motives as well.
the government didn’t care about individuals, they cared about what an individual could offer and they also cared about overpopulation, they couldn’t control society if it was overfilling, so the system was built to kill two birds with one stone.
the system did connect people but the second the relationship seemed to be steering in the wrong direction in any manner, the individuals in the relationship would receive a flashing red alert of ‘eliminate’ on their phones; sometimes they got it at the same time, sometimes they got it seconds apart, and in the time that they receive the notification, they have to kill the other person in the relationship or get killed.
whoever kills, gets ‘aid’ from the government, which was basically tons of money to cover for the trauma that comes from killing someone you loved.
if the persons failed to carry out the elimination for whatever reason, they got three warnings before government-assigned hitmen would kill both of the individuals, if the individuals didn't kill to survive, they didn’t deserve survival.
this, according to the government, was survival of the fittest, eliminating those who weren’t emotionally capable of being in a lasting relationship, and who didn’t provide the government with anything, deserved to be eliminated.
this was naturally met with resistance but as days by and the system reached everyone, people found that they enjoyed eliminating those who made them unhappy, especially because there were no consequences and because romance came with a certain rage, people were finally allowed to quell that rage.
so, the system was implemented and the world paced forward.
but you fell in love with jimin, and he fell in love with you, and the moment you did, your phone flashed red.
-
december 19nd, 2022.
it was the first warning and he hadn’t died that day, at least that’s what you heard.
it’s been months since your bullet hit him and you still couldn't forget the ringing it left in your head. the same roads that you had coursed through on his bike, so in love, so sure about each other, were the same roads where you left him to die.
it wasn't your fault, you had prepared to die, jimin was a better marksman than you were, so you had expected a bullet to pierce through you as well but it never came, even if you wished that it did.
so, now, here you were, body barely covered in a nightgown that your partner, keith, apparently liked, hands slowly stirring the coffee in your cup and looking out the window, rain clouded your vision and that was enough to take you back.
“good morning, babe!” a swift kiss on the side of your neck had your body recoiling but you forced a smile on your face as you kissed keith’s cheek.
he was dressed up for work in his black trousers and white shirt, he was moderately attractive, a finance guy who liked spending his money as if it meant nothing, you had no idea how you were compatible, but you were living together now and you didn’t see a way out.
“work’s going to be crazy today, so many meetings and we have to close that deal today,” he drawled on, running his hands through his hair as he got behind the kitchen counter to make himself breakfast.
i hope you don’t come back home, i hope your meeting lasts for a week, i hope i never have to see you again.
“i can make dinner for when you come back” leaves your lips instead and his head snaps up with a smile you’ve grown to hate, “you’re the best, babe, i love that on you by the way.” he gestures to your gown and gives you a flying kiss and it takes everything in you to not physically cringe.
i hate this on me, by the way.
it’s not like you care.
“i’ll buy more of them.” you hum, an answer that would satisfy him, and with a sigh, you turn away from him to look out the window again, the sky was still gloomy, the raindrops still coated your windows and you still wanted your partner to die.
then, you notice at the foot of your apartment building, a bike that pulls up, a bike that you know, a bike that you spent many nights on, your heart races as the rider steps off it.
at the same minute, your phone buzzes in your hand and you freeze.
not now.
not now.
not now.
“we don’t have to make this painful,” you hear from behind you before the steel of your own gun presses against the back of your head, your phone slips to the ground and you catch sight of the red that coats the screen.
‘eliminate!’
seconds apart.
of course, he got it before you had.
from your periphery, you see exactly what keith had been all along, what all you tolerated because you didn’t think you deserved love after putting a bullet in the only man you ever loved, you see keith’s narrowed eyes filled with ambition and malice, his fingers that itched to pull the trigger and his face that donned an evil smile.
he was enjoying this, enjoying the absolute control he had on your very existence.
you just wished he hadn’t underestimated you.
you pulled your ankle back to connect with his crotch, and whipped around to elbow his face and neck, making him weak enough to drop the gun, you pushed the gun away with your leg and dragged him to the kitchen counter, all while he begged and whimpered for mercy, then started shouting in the anger he felt, he had lost control after all.
you grabbed his collar and jammed his head into the sharp corner of the kitchen counter, leaving traces of his blood on it, and got up to retrieve a knife.
you had to do it, you had to kill him, or they will kill you you had to do it you had to kill him or they will kill you you had to do i-
the door to your apartment flew open and the grip you had on your knife tightened as you whipped around to see who it was, even if you knew who it could be.
jimin stood there, helmet in hands, eyes flicking on your body, unmoving, so silent that it made your head spin. as your lips parted to call out to him, to see if he would respond, to see if he was even real, a hand gripped your ankle, keith’s loud groan of ‘bitch’ echoed around you. the knife you had in your hands quickly found its place in his chest; the green light from your phone illuminated a side of your face.
‘successful!’
through the blood dripping down your eyelashes, you looked up, once again to see him, to see if he had moved, to see if he had left, to see if he had come to kill you.
you fell off keith’s body, pushing it away with your feet and the cold ground made you hiss, your head didn’t stop spinning, and your hands didn’t stop shaking, it almost made you laugh that the people in this room right now were both people you killed or tried to kill.
“why are you back?”
we shouldn’t be around each other, you shouldn’t be alive, i shouldn’t be alive-
“i chose to forgive you for putting a bullet in me,” he smirked and your head lolled to the side, a smile growing involuntarily, he was real, he was here, and he was breathing, “i never asked for your forgiveness, jimin.”
i missed you, i missed your voice, i missed your bike, i missed you i missed you i missed you i missed you, i missed us.
“i’m nice like that,” he hummed as he sat beside you, you looked up helplessly, someone’s blood smeared on your face, his blood that stained your hands, you thought you would never see him again.
he was nice like that; he was always nicer than you had ever been.
jimin’s ring-covered fingers pushed the hair that stuck onto the blood on your face back, you could feel your sobs compressed in your chest.
“unless you are here to kill me, get out, jimin.” you didn’t think you could say it but you couldn’t kill him a second time, you couldn't look at him without wanting to lay in his arms and let him kill you.
“i’m gonna say no to that.”
“you must really like dying” you could almost hear the sirens of the government hitmen, they would bust in here, place a bullet in each of your heads, jimin and you would just be eliminated numbers in the system then.
“we’ve only gotten one warning,” his voice and demeanor remained calm and steady, the calm you needed, the steady you craved, everything about jimin, you craved and craved and craved.
but one warning was enough, one bullet was enough, the blood on your hands was enough.
you pushed yourself off the floor, almost gravitating and falling into jimin’s arms, maybe crying for an hour, or two, and then kissing him all over but instead, your hands reached out for the knife that was dripping already.
you stood, with shaky knees, in front of a jimin that didn’t flinch and with the strongest voice you could muster, “get out.”
jimin didn’t make an attempt to move, “i let you kill me once, why do you think this will work?” to anyone else, it would sound like he was provoking you, but jimin was pleading with you, ‘i let you kill me once, i’ll let you kill me twice, thrice, ten times, i would rather die in your hands than be away from you.’
you couldn’t think, you couldn’t breathe, he was right, he was always right.
but you were, again, desperate to make sure his blood didn’t end up on you.
so, you twisted the knife and pointed it to yourself.
that did the trick.
jimin jumped up from where he was, you could hear his breathing, loud, hurried, so worried, you saw his hands instinctively jerk towards you and pausing in the air, unsure of what you would do.
“please leave,” you whispered, eyes gathering tears for the first time this morning and jimin retracted his hand, “you’re being crazy, put it down, p-please.” his calm was breaking, his face boosted a sheen and his eyebrows scrunched in worry.
“the second you turn back and leave, this will be put away.” you shook the knife in your hand, glancing towards the door through which jimin would have to leave.
jimin’s eyes widened in anger, his hands shook at the fury that consumed him, he couldn’t believe that you were willing to do this just to keep him away.
“i came back for you!” he yelled, you couldn’t help but flinch at his eyes that were no longer calm, no longer steady, “after everything, after you put a fucking bullet in me, after you live with some guy, i looked for you everywhere and this is what you want to do? drive me away? make yourself look insane?” his voice bellowed in the apartment, suffocating you, driving you to tears, but you knew it was necessary, it was easier if he hated you.
“get out,” you whispered again, your resolve weakening as the knife nudged into your skin, and at the sight of your blood running down your arm, jimin threw his head back with a frustrated groan, he couldn't touch you without potentially triggering another warning, he couldn’t shake you back to sanity so, just as quiet as he entered, jimin left your apartment, but not without a look that said, ‘this isn’t over, not here, not now.’
you were left with too much air and too much blood around you.
at some point in the evening, the cleaners from the government came in, but none of them looked at you, none of them said a word or offered you a napkin, nothing.
they pushed keith’s body into a bag, cleared up the blood, dropped an envelope full of money on the counter, and left.
but the smell of death perforated around you, as you, once again, looked out the window, a gloomy sky, a gloomy world, and your cigarette was the only light that remained later in the night.
you stared at the reflection of your face which looked sunken in, tired, irritated, so close to dead but unfortunately, not dead, and as you kept scowling at yourself, jimin’s face joined the reflection.
then, both of your cigarettes remained to be the only light in your apartment that night.
-
august 22nd, 2023.
that night, he smoked with you, taught you how to patch up your cuts, burnt some scented candles, and left after staring at your lips for ten minutes.
it didn’t matter that you were already well-trained to patch up your wounds, it didn’t matter that the candles he left only cleared the air for a few minutes before the smell of death came back, he was there, you were there, and that was enough for nothing else to matter.
though you still shiver at the memory of his eyes on you.
you haven’t seen him since then, you had told him to stay away before any kind of patch wouldn’t save what you do to yourself, but you still burnt the candles he got for you, every day.
you killed five people after jimin last year, you didn’t know if it was dumb luck that you survived every single time or your worst nightmare come true, all of your lovers were now just numbers in the eliminated category, you were waiting to join them too.
but, when your phone flashed red, you couldn't think of anything but surviving, even if you wanted to die, even if you had nothing to live for, that one notification blinded you from everything you believed in and pushed you to protect yourself.
it was the deepest, darkest secret that you held and buried in yourself.
maybe that was the intention all along, everyone wants to die until they are put face-to-face with death.
“i really didn’t expect us to match but i’m so glad that this is happening,” your date, an older man, with thinning hair and too broad of a smile, beamed at you. you felt particularly irritated that he was talking to your boobs but you held on, you matched for a reason, you had to see this through until you could kill him.
“i am glad too.” you smiled with ruby lips, crossing your legs and leaning away from him, you raised your glass to him and he almost jumped out of his seat to cling it, you held back your laugh at his state.
men were too simple.
“let’s get to know each other! we could start with, what scares you?” he thought he was being deep and thoughtful with that question, but he was so wrong.
men, scare me, i haven't decided if you're one of those men.
“i have to say, rats, can’t stand them, they’re disgusting.” you fake shuddered, causing your date to explode into laughter, “oh, you poor thing, they scare you?” he asked as if it was the most ridiculous thing ever.
i am scared that everyone i love, secretly hates me. i don't have many people that i love, that scares me too.
“so, how many people have you killed?” you didn’t mean to ask it out loud but you needed to know how much training would have to go into defeating him, if that day ever came. he looked up with surprised eyes before the surprise melts into poorly executed sensuality, a certain sick kind of glint shined in his face as he leaned forward as if he’s found his prize, his prey, “i have killed 3, princess, what about you?”
it took everything in you to not vomit in his face.
but your eyes roll back instead, this was going to be a long night.
“how about you try to guess?” you whispered back, just as sensual, maybe not as sick but playing the part he wanted you to.
a hidden freak in elegant clothes.
men didn’t have a lot of types; this was usually the most popular.
he, you keep thinking ‘he’, because, for the love of god, you can’t seem to remember his name, blinks slowly, trying to be sexy, only to look mildly constipated.
a swing of the restaurant doors forces your eyes towards the entrance and your throat closes up as you try not to fall off your seat when you see who it is.
you had told him to stay away, to never come back, you told him that you should’ve never given him the lighter that night but he had laughed it off, he had lit his cigarette and gazed out the window without a word.
now, he was here, all flesh and bones, too real, too much, not in your innocent or sometimes, not-so-innocent dreams, he was standing with another woman who held onto his hands, hands that had taught you to clean your wounds, hands that had touched every inch of you.
your hands gripped the tablecloth with a strength you didn’t know you possessed; your eyes threatened to flash red as your heartbeat accelerated.
gone was the bald man in front of you, gone were the people around you, gone was the chaos of the restaurant, gone was the rest of the world as his eyes reached you.
and he had the audacity to bow to you, flash a smirk, throw a smile at your date, and take his seat at the bar as if it was his throne. of course, his seat faced you, his eyes stayed on you as his hands played and twirled with her hair.
“see something you like?” your date growled from the other side of the table.
you had forgotten about him.
“sorry, i got distracted” you mumbled, you wondered if he would figure out just how insincere your words were. he laughed bitterly, fingers tapping incessantly at his wine glass.
his demeanor had changed, his shoulders were tense and tight, and you could feel his leg knocking onto the table, you had pissed him off.
you wish you cared.
“i’ve met your type, you think that looking and acting like a slut will help you get away with everything, don’t you?” his eyes gleamed wickedly as he smiled at you, you felt a chill run down your spine even if you weren't threatened.
all your life, you’ve met all kinds of men, it didn’t help you get used to how cruel and animalistic some of them could be.
your phone pinged and flashed red.
‘eliminate!’
your heart contracted rapidly as your hands tried to search for the gun on your thigh holster, your fingers fumbled to pull it out and you could feel it all slip away.
you couldn’t let him get the notification too, he would kill you, he would kill you in front of jimin, he would kill you and you would never see jimin again, never feel him again, never breathe him in agai-
but then, his head dropped on the table.
your hands fell away from your holster as your entire body stiffened and fell back on your chair.
you hated that you didn’t feel anything as his blood pooled around his head, as people screamed and rushed out of the restaurant, as waiters fumbled with their phones to call the police, you hated that your gaze immediately went to jimin.
his hand was raised, a gun pointed in your direction.
your suspicions were right.
‘successful!’
your screen turned green.
people ran with their children in front of you, people stared in horror at the man whose blood overflowed from the table, people saw you staring at the bar instead of the dying man in front of you.
public eliminations were rare, and most notifications were delivered in the safety of private homes but desperate times, such as especially bad events on a date, would lead to this.
jimin’s date got up, seemed to scream at him, seemed to seek his attention but he peeked and bent around her body to keep looking at you, she turned around with fury in her eyes, only to huff loudly and run out of the restaurant too.
then, it was the two of you again.
how could you feel a touch, months after it’s been on you?
how could you feel him, miles apart?
you hated yourself for how warm you felt now that it was just you and him.
you pushed yourself out of your chair, charging towards jimin with a rage you only felt around him, the rage of wanting him but not having him, the rage of never forgetting him, the rage of not being able to detach yourself from him, the rage of seeing him with another, he watched with a tilted head as you approached him.
“come outside,” you demanded, already turning around to get out but he spun towards the bar, “why? we have all the privacy we want, right here” he tapped the seat next to him with his lips pulled to one side.
you were impatient, out of time, out of your depth, out of control, which urged you to grab jimin by the collar and drag him to the rain-soaked pavements outside.
there was no way you were going to have a conversation when a man lay dead, a couple of steps away from you, a man that he killed, a man that you were supposed to kill.
“what were you thinking, jimin?” you screeched once you couldn’t see blood dripping down the table you left behind. even as the rain soaked you, you felt burning hot anger bubbling in you.
“why do you care? were you in love with him or something?” jimin sneered, adjusting his shirt and looking away to the side, his voice was irritated but his face wasn’t, jimin had ever been good at hiding his vulnerability. there was this nervousness, this tapping of his foot, that gave him away.
“it shouldn’t matter to you, jimin!” you yelled loudly, though your face fell away in unguarded softness. it shouldn’t have been his bullet today, it should’ve been yours, it’s funny to you that it always ends up having to be yours.
“why?” jimin turned back to look at you with a frown so deep, you wondered if he was feeling the strain of the conversation already, if he was feeling the strain of being so close and far.
do you want me in your arms? i want you in mine.
“what do you mean, why?” you threw your hands in the air as a deep exhale left your body, a last attempt to calm yourself, “why shouldn’t it matter to me? as far as i know, i’m the only one it should matter to,” he roared back, chest puffing as he stepped closer to you.
come closer, don’t you dare step back, take me away from this rain, this place, these people, this world, take me to a place where i can hold you and you can hold me.
“you know exactly why” you steeled your gaze to get your point across, though you wondered if he could hear your heart break from where he stood.
jimin watched you with careful eyes, sorrow hid under his eyelashes, sorrow that he tried to blink away, sorrow that barely concealed the anger he felt.
but not at you.
never at you.
he reached for your hand, causing you to flinch and shift a couple of steps away, he felt like a wound that never quite healed, cut itself open again, “what are you so afraid of?”
your heartbeat quickened, “jimin, stay back, we don’t know about the warn-“
“that ship sailed when you yanked my collar, love” his lips pulled to one side as he showed his phone screen that was bright red, and your heart drowned all over again, your phone buzzed in your hand, you knew what it meant.
your second warning.
“why don’t we just take advantage of this?” he whispered so softly, that the rest of the world tapped out, it was just him and his face and his voice and his hands that pushed your hair back.
life filled your lungs in a rush, life so vibrant and bright, life so blindingly fine.
soft soft hands, soft hands that touch me, soft hands that have touched me before, soft hands which i love, i love the man with soft hands.
“we could go back to our place, watch some movies, just talk, you can tell me how terrible your dates have been,” he paused to chuckle a little and it filled you with lightness, you believed you could float, “we could let the warning stretch, we could let it all just ring, i don’t care, as long as you’re there, i don’t care about anything.”
he still calls it ‘our’ place, i have a place in this world.
your phone buzzed and flashed red repeatedly as he held your cheeks and leaned in, just to let his breath fan over your face, just to let his lips brush over yours.
“but don’t push me away, i need you.” you could tell he was holding back tears and you couldn’t tell that you were crying already until his hands wiped across your cheeks, your hands fell on his shirt, unsurely grazing the fabric.
did you want him closer? was that possible?
‘eliminate!’
‘eliminate!’
‘eliminate!’
your phone threw the red onto his face, flashing so rapidly that you wanted to break it, but when you caught his eyes, his ever so tender, ever so loving, ever so giving eyes, you got reminded of the bullet you put in him. now, the red light looked like his blood.
i love the man with soft hands. his soft hands touch me and i touch him, he tells me sweet things when our lives are on a rope, how can i not fall?
i hurt the man with soft hands, i don’t deserve the man with soft hands.
your hands were desperately hanging onto his shirt now but you could feel your stomach in your throat, your heart in your legs, your head in the stormy clouds and you pushed him away.
you stumbled back, hiccupping and gripping your phone.
‘eliminate!’
“please, just listen to me-“ but you couldn’t, all you could hear was the traffic, the people, your phone, and the world, it all returned back to you and you couldn’t hide in his face any longer.
“just stop, jimin!” you let out your cry, heart squeezing itself dry onto the pavement.
i can’t hurt you, i can’t die, but i will die if i don’t hurt you, would you kill me? save me this pain? take me away.
jimin’s rage returned.
“we need to stop this, don’t show your face around me again” you turned and walked away before your heart fell on his feet and you couldn’t pick it up again.
step.
step.
step.
pull me back, don’t let me go.
“how do you walk away every single time?” his voice was low, barely audible but it fell on you like bricks raining from the sky.
your steps stopped, everything in you paused at the tension in his voice.
“how do you live without me? why is it so easy for you to be without me?” he got louder, angrier, more desperate, more of everything, you knew his eyes were burning into your skin and leaving scars that would never fade.
i’m not living, i’m breathing, i’m existing, it's not the same.
“jimin,” you breathed out, your entire body stood confused at the jolts of torments that passed through it, you tried not to fall on your knees at his assumption.
did he think this was easy for you?
did he think that he didn’t haunt every single living thought in your head?
did he think you could ever forget the grief that shot through you when you saw him on the ground, that you could ever forget him?
“do you not remember anything?” he whispered again, a sad smile stretched on his face.
i remember too much.
i remember drifting through these roads on your bike, i remember laughing into your hair and the warmth of your neck on cold nights, i remember the leather of your jacket and the coldness of you necklace, i remember the cat you loved even if you are allergic, i remember the story of your first kiss, i remember the lingering love you hold for her, i remember the greater love you held for me.
i remember the day i died when my phone flashed red for the first time.
i remember everything.
“no, and you should forget it too” you shook off his scent that crawled on your back to choke you.
“i don’t believe you,” jimin narrowed his eyes at you, he could see the memories playing like a videotape behind your eyes.
“i don’t either,” he pulled back at the sad chuckle that left your tear-dried lips and he could only watch as you got into your bike and drove away into the night, once again, leaving him to himself.
your tears came anew as the gush of wind froze them on your face, you no longer had his neck to bury yourself into, and you no longer had his jacket to grip onto, it was just you, the night and everything else burning in and out of existence.
you could tell it all to him, you could tell him that you haven't been alive since the second you held that gun in your hands, you could tell him that you imagined him on every face you kissed but it was easier to not tell it all.
it was easier to pretend that you didn’t know what you felt, it was easier to tell him you didn’t know when you knew it all, and it was easier to go back to your room and stare at the ceiling till morning came.
-
december 31st, 2023.
six hours were left to new years.
you just killed another person, and this time, you didn’t bother remembering anything about them, their name, their hobbies, their interests, their face just before they died, it only gave you nightmares.
the paper of your cigarette was soaked red as your hands dripped on them, your bedroom was being sterilized and you were once again, wholly surrounded by the smell of blood and death and nothing else.
you would need to get new sheets, a new bed, a new carpet, and new candles.
what a way to start a new year.
your head fell back on the sofa as a dull ache coursed through you, the ache was ever-present now, your only consistent companion, it stayed with you as life threw you from a puddle, to a pond, to a lake, to a river and then, at the deep edge of the sea.
your feet dragged as you closed the door behind the cleaners, you wondered if they were welcoming the new year with someone they loved or if they were too, much like you, rotting around the smell of death.
three hours were left to new years.
you wondered what jimin was doing, and then you laughed into the silence around you, when did you ever stop thinking about what jimin was doing?
but you were two strikes down, another one would only end with you both six feet underground and you couldn’t do that to jimin.
one hour was left to new years.
you were somehow standing in front of ‘your’ apartment, it was really jimin’s but it stuck with you that he had called it ‘our.’
in life, there are logical choices, mapped out, ready for action, the results would be great for you but as humans, we very rarely follow through with logical choices because even if we have a monologue prepared, an argument, a plan of action, we see the face of some people, we see the nights we spent with them, we see the words we never told anyone else, we see our expired love creeping on their backs and it all crumbles.
those choices are always shadowed by, not your heart, as many would like to believe, it’s always you, as a whole, just you. because sometimes, we don’t want the peace that comes with logic, we want the freefall that comes with doing whatever the heck you want and regretting it all afterward.
and you wonder if you will ever make the smart choice when it comes to jimin.
the door swings open, your chest falls in relief at his face and an expectant smile from him, silence riddled around you both, welcomes you into your home.
you felt strangely out of your body, as if you were watching the night unravel and could do nothing but watch, as if you had no and all control, as if you could run and stay at the same time.
on your true bed, you splayed out your arms and legs, you didn’t exhale too loudly, jimin didn’t breathe too much, you pushed your face into the pillows that you and jimin used to lay on, you breathed in the scent, jimin stood back and watched, everything was just silent and perfect and your phones were nowhere near you.
i didn’t think we would be here again, i thought i lost you forever, i thought i would die with your love for me and my love for you, buried deep inside of me and someday, it would all be dug up and i won’t be there to witness any of it.
on your true table, you sat, legs folded on the chair, piping hot food flowing steam onto your face and you ate, jimin sat opposite to you and ate, the television roared with news of parties, fires, danger, sorrow, economy. a word didn’t leave your lips.
who really cares about the government anyway, right?
on your true sofa, your fingers threaded jimin’s hair as you pulled at his scalp, gently, maybe not so gently and he falls apart in your touch, he falls back and grabs you, again and again, you two rise and fall, like riptides that would devastate the shore, like rocks that hit to make fire, like hail that hits your feet and makes them numb, your bodies don’t care anymore, not about some warning, not about some stupid government, your bodies only craved for what the other offered.
why does morning have to come? why do nights like these not show mercy on me and stretch forever? why is this place not where i come back to anymore? how do i leave, with the memories of your feathers wrapped around my back?
at some point, the clock struck midnight and jimin’s twinkling eyes whispered to you, his hands rubbing circles on your waist, “happy new year, my love.”
all of the world’s happiness would have fit in the centimetre space between you two then, you didn’t want to think of how you would die after this, you didn’t want to think of how temporary it all was, you didn’t want to think of how tomorrow might never come.
but you woke up the next day, jimin’s arms on your stomach, a new year shining outside your window and you stumbled out of the bed for your phone, to see if it really was the end because you couldn’t get a better ending than this.
you didn’t get a warning.
you wouldn’t die today.
you sighed out in relief.
-
february 14th, 2024.
you got lucky that day, too lucky, you had stretched your luck till afternoon dawned. that morning, you got on jimin’s bike and let yourself float in the backseat as wind pricked your face, you had been hoping that the final warning will come, that you could die happy but even as your head rested on jimin’s shoulder and the beach waves crashed in front of you, even as he nestled his face into your head and breathed you in, your phones hadn’t made a single noise.
the next morning, you were back to wanting to survive, jimin tried to keep you in his bed, he had whispered promises to you, he had kissed your cheeks and his hands had gripped onto your arms.
but you had run away, it wasn’t your home and you couldn’t play around with your luck anymore, maybe it was a glitch, maybe it was an anomaly, no one knew how the warnings came, and you weren’t exactly excited to know why you were granted those few hours with jimin.
and you found someone.
someone not like keith, someone not too sick or old, his name was wooseok and he treated you gently, treated you lovingly, he held your hand as you walked, he kissed you on the forehead, he promised to let you down gently if the notification ever came, as per your request.
but his hands weren’t soft and you weren’t in love with him.
you punched the sandbag in front of you, harder than your instructor had told you to, harder than you wanted to, the night fell around you with each punch, no one came around this time and the solitude comforted you.
soon, you had to meet wooseok for dinner, a valentine’s dinner, a night filled with affection and attention, you were looking forward to it, at least you were trying to look forward to it.
the elevator pinged behind you, slowing your punches, you turned around to glare at whoever came in, this was the only alone time you had, you couldn’t have some idiot mess it up.
but then your face relaxed as wooseok walked in, your arms immediately stretched in front of you to wrap around his neck and he chuckled into your neck, “couldn’t wait till dinner, forgive me.” he brushed your cheeks before kissing you on the forehead and you tried to hide the way your body tensed.
“i’m glad, i’ll be done in a bit,” you said with a half-genuine smile and he nodded.
i can be happy without jimin, i can live and not be afraid to love, i can learn to love wooseok’s rough hands and i can live live live
the elevator pinged again; you didn’t bother looking at who it was until you heard the soft thump of a bag falling to the floor. “just two minutes,” he whispered before burying his face in your neck again and this time, your body gave up fighting, you relaxed into him and let out a sigh. hidden by wooseok’s body, you peeked to the side to see who it was.
it was instantaneous, the reaction, the rush of blood to your head and heart, the restlessness that started building in you.
you felt your chest tear, your legs break under you, your hands falling off but nothing happened to you, even if you wished your mental pain could become physical, you still breathed fine, stood fine, lived fine, still clung to wooseok’s neck fine.
just one look at jimin had you crumbling even as someone held you up.
i cannot be happy without jimin.
“i’ll be waiting downstairs,” wooseok whispered, with no knowledge of your intruder, he kissed your cheek and you tried to hide the paleness of your face as you nodded, he leaves with a lingering look at you, so filled with love.
and your throat closes up again as the elevator takes him away.
jimin looks at you, waiting for you to speak, apologize, explain, anything, any words you give, he would take and he tries to hold his ground while his mind assaults him with playbacks to you and someone else wrapped around you.
your content face, instead of fear, your smile, instead of a scowl, your affection, instead of wariness, everything jimin wanted with you, you found in someone else.
he would’ve done anything for all of that, would your new boy do it? would he make you his as jimin had?
once he understands that you were going to ignore this, he walks towards you slowly, taking all the time in the world, you heard his steps but you kept putting your stuff away, determined to leave as soon as you could.
the world spun at your feet when he halts behind you, you felt the warmth of his body and his soft soft soft soft hands holding your hips as he gazed from behind you, into the mirror, you stood frozen.
how easy would it be to just melt into you? how easy would it be to go back home with you, to you, spend my hours breathing with you?
no.
you had someone now.
“jimin, step back,” you glanced anxiously towards where you left your phone and jimin is reckless, out of patience and at the end of the line here, “how does he treat you, love?” he whispers against your ear, in a mocking tone that you hated.
but heat crawls and wraps around you fast, you find yourself wanting to lean back on him, let him carry you away and let everything else fall away, let your life fall away.
not better than you, no one gets me like you do.
“he’s incredible, treats me very well” you turn your nose up in the air, speaking anything and everything to make him believe that you were alright without him, but as always, jimin sees right through you, he hums before leaning his chin on your shoulder and sucking in a breath, that has your knees bucking.
“does he, now?” you nodded, but the rest of your body was so still, you didn’t know if you were still breathing or not.
then, he wrapped his arms around your abdomen, pulled you flush against him, “this is how he held you, isn’t it?” you didn’t answer, “and how much time did he ask for? two minutes?” he laughed again, a sick kind of laugh that you had never heard from jimin before.
“what does he have that i don’t, love? what is it?” he mumbles into your neck, lips flush against your skin and you can’t hold the shiver that passes through you, there’s a daze that dances around you, a weight that holds your eyes down as his hands play with your skin, but you know what you two don’t have.
time. i have time, time that isn’t running out right in front of my eyes, time that doesn’t keep me up at night.
nothing, he has nothing compared to jimin.
“i will let you go only because i know you will kill him one day, and i know where you’ll be once you wash his blood away,” he steps back, leaving you with an ocean of air and a whirlpool room, it takes you a minute to come back to the world.
“actually, he will kill me,” you say finally, jimin turns around from picking his bag up, “i told him, if the warning comes, to kill me.” that decision made you feel lightweight, you would finally be rid of the system, this world, everything once things with wooseok fizzle.
you hadn’t conjured jimin’s reaction, you hadn’t put too much thought into it but a body-shaking laughter wasn’t what you expected at all.
he was bent with hands on his knees, laugh after laugh tumbling out of his mouth as he gasped for breath and you stood there, feeling unsure, humiliated and embarrassed.
and so so naked.
“what’s so funny, jimin?” he held a hand up, steadied himself with a wide grin on his face as he wiped a happy tear from the corner of his eyes, “what’s funny, love, is that you really think you will let him kill you, that is just hilarious.”
you grow red at his words as a wave of shame threatens to shake you off balance, “you know nothing about me, i’ve done enough, i’ve killed enough-“
“and you will do it again.” he says, a hint of a smirk still on his face.
i would.
i wouldn’t.
would i?
you are taken back to all the faces that you had forgotten after they died, keith, the old man, the woman, the memories that died with them, somewhere in you, you had always waited to kill some of them, even if you tried to tell yourself that you didn’t, everyone except jimin, didn’t exist in your head anymore.
“you have n-no idea what you are talking about,” you couldn’t believe that somehow jimin had figured this part of you out, you felt nauseous that he knew the worst parts of you.
“i am the only one who knows, because you loved me most, you loved me like you loved nothing else, you still do and that didn’t stop you from putting a bullet in me, did it?” he clicked on the elevator door as you hurried to catch up to him, stomping after him to prove him wrong, to tell him he had it all wrong but you have no words that are truthful to defend yourself.
i loved you like the soil loves water, like children love lollipops, like waves love the shore, i love you with all of me.
but i killed you and i cried.
i killed you.
you shoved yourself into the elevator with him, chest heaving, mind light and heavy, arms so tired but shaking with restrained anger and he looks at you with, was it pity?
“then, why chase after me if i am so vile?” you scream in his direction, a layer of you was peeled and left to bleed now, you had no idea how to stop it.
your phone buzzed and flashed red.
jimin’s phone buzzed and flashed red.
you look at each other, raw fear flashing just for a second before relaxing, isn’t this what you wanted, anyway?
your third and final warning.
“because i love you too much to care about myself and i’m the only one who can handle it, i’m the only one who would die for you.” he says with conviction, as if it was something he had rehearsed, something he had to repeat to himself. he turns his phone away and tucks it into his pocket.
you wanted to say, i love you too, and i know you’re the only one but the elevator doors open and you’re shoved into the darkness of the parking space, where wooseok stood, hands waving and a bright smile.
“save him and come back to me,” jimin whispers as he leans to give you the shortest, sweetest, most painful kiss on your temple before he’s sending you on your way and stepping back.
wooseok traps you in his arms and spins you around, pure joy radiating off him and you can only gulp and try to smile, “ready for our dinner?” he squeezes your arms with a breathtaking smile, and it takes everything in you to not vomit at his feet.
you nod, he grins and whips around to open the car door for you.
you look back to see jimin, in the elevator, just when the doors start to close, he mouths ‘till next time’ and a slow smirk grows on his face as he disappears behind the metal and you are sure you’ve left your heart in there.
“let’s go,” you sit in the car and watch out the window as it rains again, soft music plays from the radio and your body is rigid, tight, too painful to move and wooseok notices it, he reaches over, brushes your thighs with his rough so rough hands and soothes you with his words.
your phone buzzes in your lap and your heart jumps to your throat.
wooseok’s eyes turn down in sadness and you want to reach over, hold his cheeks and tell him, i love you, even if you don’t mean it but you don’t move a muscle. misunderstanding your silence, he slows the car and his phone flashes red as well, he sighs, eyes so sad, eyes lined with tears and you don’t feel anything.
it hurts that you feel as empty as a shell.
“i’ll keep my promise, i’ll give you a painless end” he mumbles softly, kissing the back of your hands and your feet start to tingle at the guilt that numbs you.
you act as if you are going to cup his face, he leans in with soft eyes and rough hands, you give a sharp tug to the steering wheel and the vehicle fastens towards a nearby tree.
you, so desperately wanted jimin to be wrong but as wooseok’s lifeless face stared back at you, you knew he was right.
you got out of the car, littered with a couple cuts and a lanky step, and walk towards the only place that belongs to you, the only place that you knew would welcome you back with snide smirks and silence and love, so much love, home.
your home.
-
‘eliminate!’
.
.
.
‘successful!’
Internally this is me right now...
Headcannon No. 4
A good shower can change your whole mood.
You sighed, rubbing the day's weary ache out of your bones with lavender scented lotion in circular pattern, making quick work of moving across the flesh of your thighs. You moved up your body, fingers digging into your torso and up between your breasts-
"Can I do that?"
You froze, looking up suddenly. Jimin had a vacant, heady expression on his face, unfocused eyes staring blankly at your skin. At first glance, he seemed frustrated with you, almost overwhelmingly irritated. You frowned, staring at him with a confused tilt to your eyebrows.
"What? I'm just putting on lotion," You asked, hand suspended in the air with a thick puddle of cream pooled in the center of your palm.
"Yeah, exactly," He mumbled, stepping closer, "Can I do that?"
"You wanna rub my lotion in for me?" You asked slowly, your brain slow to catch up.
He stepped towards you, a shaky breath releasing slowly from his full, rose colored lips. He nodded, reaching out a hand towards you, "Please?"
You snapped your eyes up to his, keening at the round, hopeful expression he wore. He looked like a puppy pleading to be played with, to be indulged for even just a moment.
"Sure," You said softly, holding your hand out towards him.