Pretend I'm Dead.

pretend i'm dead.

dialogue prompts from pretend i’m dead by jen beagin.

sorry. i’ve made you uncomfortable with my creepy honesty.

would you care for a bear claw?

if god gives you lemons, find a new god.

i’m going to miss you. i miss you already.

you’re not even here. where are you right now?

do you live in a commune or something?

i wasn’t born like this, you know.

what’s your least favorite word?

i’ve always felt a weird affinity for monotony and repetition.

i make my living as a thief.

you smell like hope.

let’s embrace our lone wolf status.

all i ask is that you try not to judge me.

i don’t think we’re done with each other yet, do you?

could you come over? just for five minutes? i’m freaking out.

that’s why i took so many notes. i knew you’d want to know exactly what happened.

since when do you care about dying?

stay. i’ll read you a story.

i read your diary.

i fully want to make out with you again.

i’m like, totally lost without you.

i apologize for the tragic ending.

loneliness is a presence you can feel in your body.

i don’t have anyone making deals with the devil for me.

there’s something supernatural about you.

i don't like being pushed around by something i can't see.

i'm sorry. i'm just joking around, it's a defense mechanism.

you are what you talk about.

feelings are just stories. they have a beginning and an end.

don't be so sure my family wants to hear from me.

sometimes i think you make this shit up on the fly.

were you hitting on me last night?

you run like you're being chased by a demon.

you've always been good at pretending like nothing happened.

you're not ready yet. but i'll be here when you are.

it wasn't your fault. you know that, right?

what do you say? can we keep each other's secrets for a while?

which secret do you want me to keep?

hearing about myself in the past is like hearing about some other person.

god, you have a mean bone.

why are you lying?

honest to god, does that excuse ever work?

stop stalling and look at me.

when are you going to stop mocking me?

everyone has some psychic ability. you have to learn how to see first, and then you just read what you see.

do you know what it's like to be in love with someone who hates your guts?

i said i majored in ___, i never said i graduated.

i'm getting you out of here.

i've been thinking about whether or not to tell you something.

you know, there's a support group for people like you.

you and i have met for a reason.

you're either an optimist or a masochist.

just me, myself, and i. we bicker constantly.

i'll be your friend.

it was only a week, but it was the longest year of my life.

you ever own your part in anything. you make everyone else wear your shit.

i don't want a relationship. i want retribution.

Edward. Fucking. Teach.

How it is everything keeps coming around back to him, Anne might never know. Jack’s in town? It’s Teach. Jack’s left town? It’s Teach. There’s been a raid ashore already? Teach. It’s exhausting in its own way. She’d heard he was looking for her and so had hung back to hear him out, strictly on the grounds that Jack was hot and cold about him—and anyone Jack runs cold on, Anne tends to like.

He looks like hell. His beard be damned; there are bags under his eyes, which are dead-looking besides, and a gauntness to his face that speaks of tragedy. Anne ought to know. She’s hiding the same traits behind sullenness and the low-sitting brim of her hat.

The pint slides a bit past Anne; she doesn’t move to stop it, though she does return it when he takes a seat.

“Don’t drink,” she informs him, but there’s no bite in her voice. It’s a fact she says like a fact. She hunches over the table, elbows resting on it, and examines him for a moment more. Whatever it is he’s for, it has nothing to do with the things she’s hiding. Satisfied by this she nods once and looks away, pale eyes scanning the tavern restlessly.

“En’t gonna stab ye ‘less ye pull first.” A punch, a bite, a knee to the dick, sure. But stabbing’s more permanent and people are less inclined to move past it. “Speak yer piece, Teach. I’m dyin from the anticipation of it.”

The sarcasm in her voice is thicker even than her accent. Sea glass green eyes cut back to Teach and away again, one finger picking at the leather ring on her thumb: anyone who knows her can see the anxiety behind the movements, but few know her so well. (Even fewer now, though she hasn’t heard the news of Jack’s passing to know that for herself.)

Closed starter for @neverhangd:

Ed's of course familiar with Anne...

thanks to her history with Jack. He's honestly afraid of gettin' punch in the fuckin mouth...last she would've known, he and Jack were best mates for life. He's not even sure if she knows of Jack's "unfortunate" passing, and she definitely doesn't know that Ed now agrees with her assessment that he was a spineless sack of shit.

Fuck, he's about to get his arse handed to him.

He'd never known the details of their relationship but he knew Jack was a bit of an arse during those times. "Bit" is an understatement, actually. But things have been rough these past months since...he left...the ocean has been merciless. He needs all the help he can get as the Spanish have been on their tails and Anne Bonny happens to be the most skilled pirates in the area.

Ed had been told she'd be at this particular tavern, and he approaches with caution. He looks like...hell, really. Beard has grown back somewhat but nowhere near its former glory. He looks like a man that has no will to live but is still trying. He sets a pint down on the table and scoots it towards her, hoping it'll soften the blow a bit. She's gonna kill him, might as well get it over with.

"I know you must wonder what the fuck I'm doin' here, but at least hear me out before ya stab me, yea?"

where's Stede? 🥺

STEDE’S OUTFITS ⤷ requested by anon

Mobile and hanging out with my nephews, etc. Hit the heart and I’ll send Anne to invade your inbox? Meme tags/links appreciated but not necessary.

Mobile and hanging out with my nephews, etc. Hit the heart and I’ll send Anne to invade your inbox? Meme tags/links appreciated but not necessary.