I Snorted - Tumblr Posts
jensen’s like *twirls hair* “teehee updating my spn fanfic on DEAN’S BIRTHDAY after a mini hiatus. also throwing him a party. love you dean winchester my best friend dean” like every other deranged deangirlie on this site
ATTENTION SEBASTIAN STARDEW VALLEY SIMPS
your man
is unfuckable </3 sorry not sorry
-love, lonnie
normalize being in your 20's without a drivers license. normalize being in your 60's without a drivers license. normalize never ever getting your license. death to automobiles peace and love on planet earth
The T in LGBTQ stands for "This content has been removed for violating Tumblr's community guidelines."
pretend i'm dead.
dialogue prompts from pretend i’m dead by jen beagin.
sorry. i’ve made you uncomfortable with my creepy honesty.
would you care for a bear claw?
if god gives you lemons, find a new god.
i’m going to miss you. i miss you already.
you’re not even here. where are you right now?
do you live in a commune or something?
i wasn’t born like this, you know.
what’s your least favorite word?
i’ve always felt a weird affinity for monotony and repetition.
i make my living as a thief.
you smell like hope.
let’s embrace our lone wolf status.
all i ask is that you try not to judge me.
i don’t think we’re done with each other yet, do you?
could you come over? just for five minutes? i’m freaking out.
that’s why i took so many notes. i knew you’d want to know exactly what happened.
since when do you care about dying?
stay. i’ll read you a story.
i read your diary.
i fully want to make out with you again.
i’m like, totally lost without you.
i apologize for the tragic ending.
loneliness is a presence you can feel in your body.
i don’t have anyone making deals with the devil for me.
there’s something supernatural about you.
i don't like being pushed around by something i can't see.
i'm sorry. i'm just joking around, it's a defense mechanism.
you are what you talk about.
feelings are just stories. they have a beginning and an end.
don't be so sure my family wants to hear from me.
sometimes i think you make this shit up on the fly.
were you hitting on me last night?
you run like you're being chased by a demon.
you've always been good at pretending like nothing happened.
you're not ready yet. but i'll be here when you are.
it wasn't your fault. you know that, right?
what do you say? can we keep each other's secrets for a while?
which secret do you want me to keep?
hearing about myself in the past is like hearing about some other person.
god, you have a mean bone.
why are you lying?
honest to god, does that excuse ever work?
stop stalling and look at me.
when are you going to stop mocking me?
everyone has some psychic ability. you have to learn how to see first, and then you just read what you see.
do you know what it's like to be in love with someone who hates your guts?
i said i majored in ___, i never said i graduated.
i'm getting you out of here.
i've been thinking about whether or not to tell you something.
you know, there's a support group for people like you.
you and i have met for a reason.
you're either an optimist or a masochist.
just me, myself, and i. we bicker constantly.
i'll be your friend.
it was only a week, but it was the longest year of my life.
you ever own your part in anything. you make everyone else wear your shit.
i don't want a relationship. i want retribution.
Gay asf to be a dentist. Why you wanna drill another man??? Why you wanna make him scream? Why you wanna put your hands in his mouth? Anyway I’m here to shoot you because you’re mistreating your girlfriend who Im in love with and I need fresh human blood to feed my gaint talking plant from outer space
I let out an audible scream of laughter.
This meme is probably very dead by now whoops.
Long haired twst characters they could never make me hate you | LeoVil animatic 👑🦁 | (CW: cursing)
——
(slightly OOC, sorry!)
This one’s for the LeoVil shippers! I personally like this ship, because the comedic potential they have as exes is limitless! Powercouple fr, until they tragically and very dramatically broke up 😔
it's 7:15 am and I'm already being judged.
When you keep working on a fic but never actually post it
we should abandon the current US government system and replace it with the ranking system in warrior cats don’t @ me