No-time-for-your-stupid - NoTimeforYourStupid

Nobody:

Nobody at all:

Me because my “okay” was the right pitch:

fEbrEZe, lAlaLaLAla

Can I just-

This is how we approach children (mainly toddlers) to avoid tantrums. Setting up an either/or instead of giving them the option to say no (and then have to elaborate on their own) is the number one way to have a smooth conversation where everyone feels like they win.

With toddlers it’s “do you want to eat your Carrots or your Peas first?” Obviously at the end of the day they’re eating both (probably) but more importantly it changed the conversation from “I don’t want to eat my carrots” to “I want to eat my peas first”

This is a really common parenting (& babysitting) technique most commonly called the illusion of choice (ik so original and hard to guess)

But it brings up the really interesting conversation of how many parenting techniques (especially for toddler’s) are great for adult human interactions.

TL,DR: Toddler parenting techniques are great for adult conversations too and I find that fascinating!

probably my most powerful interpersonal communication hack is to, whenever possible, ask either/or questions rather than yes/no questions

for example, when chatting with coworkers, i’ll often ask if they have any fun weekend plans. but let’s be real - we all feel like friendless losers when someone asks that question and we go “uhhhhh… no.” so instead, i phrase it as “so, do you have anything fun planned over the weekend, or are you just going to enjoy having some time to relax?”

phrased like this, there’s rarely any awkwardness. you’ve presented two options & given both equally positive connotations, so your conversational partner has an automatic “out,” so to speak

but it works for higher stakes conversations too!!!! my mom was saying this weekend how she and her neighbor both like walking around the neighborhood & that she wanted to suggest they take a walk together sometime, but was worried about how to approach the conversation

so i said “how about you just say ‘i’ve noticed we both like taking walks! would you be interested in going for one together, or do you use walks for some precious alone time?’”

now Walking Neighbor has an automatic “get out of jail free card” if she wants to say no!!!! which means my mom doesn’t have to worry about the conversation being uncomfortable, because she’s set it up to go smoothly

either/or questions rather than yes/no questions. it is really like magic

@jeanjauthor it sounds like you’re talking from experience… please tell me there’s a story here

probably my most powerful interpersonal communication hack is to, whenever possible, ask either/or questions rather than yes/no questions

for example, when chatting with coworkers, i’ll often ask if they have any fun weekend plans. but let’s be real - we all feel like friendless losers when someone asks that question and we go “uhhhhh… no.” so instead, i phrase it as “so, do you have anything fun planned over the weekend, or are you just going to enjoy having some time to relax?”

phrased like this, there’s rarely any awkwardness. you’ve presented two options & given both equally positive connotations, so your conversational partner has an automatic “out,” so to speak

but it works for higher stakes conversations too!!!! my mom was saying this weekend how she and her neighbor both like walking around the neighborhood & that she wanted to suggest they take a walk together sometime, but was worried about how to approach the conversation

so i said “how about you just say ‘i’ve noticed we both like taking walks! would you be interested in going for one together, or do you use walks for some precious alone time?’”

now Walking Neighbor has an automatic “get out of jail free card” if she wants to say no!!!! which means my mom doesn’t have to worry about the conversation being uncomfortable, because she’s set it up to go smoothly

either/or questions rather than yes/no questions. it is really like magic

To all Americans who will be Voting-Age in November

Register to vote. If you are not sure how depending on your state, go to vote.gov and other websites to find more information. It has been said time and again by wiser people than me, but Not Voting is Not an option. It is best to register as early as possible so you don't accidentally miss your deadline, which is different depending on what state you live in. Don't miss your first election because you don't register until it's too close to the election. College Students: apply for absentee ballots so you don't need to drive hours on a Tuesday to vote in your hometown. The same applies to anyone who can't vote in person at the polls. You are voting for more than which Individual you want to see in the Oval Office, you are voting for what policies and ideologies you want to see in the US Government. Even if you don't like the candidates, not voting is an automatic point for the worse candidate because there will be a supporter of theirs who will vote for them. Vote.

Reminder that you don’t owe it to the month to come out.

Honestly if there's ONE thing I wish I could get all queer people to understand is that if you're in a situation where you know everyone would treat you differently, especially to the point of it putting your life in danger, if they found out you're queer, you aren't experiencing privilege, you're in a hostage situation.

Like sorry experiencing "passing privilege" is actually just being trapped in a room with a bloodthirsty t-rex and having people tell you that you should be thankful because thier vision is based on movement and you can just stand still. It's not a privilege to be erased, to have to lie to everyone around you to stay safe-ish, to have to closet yourself because you know even a single step out of line could be the end of your entire world.

None of us should have to be thankful to stand in front of a loaded gun while the person holding it goes "haha, don't worry, I only use this on faggots, and you're not a fag....right?" Like this is not a net good and it has almost nothing in common with actually being part of a privileged group.

Anyway, Happy Pride, let's leave this shit behind.