Why Isn't There More Andre X Tori Fics They're The Ultimate Almost Canon Ship

why isn't there more andre x tori fics they're the ultimate almost canon ship

This is how it goes when it's time for that big announcement...

So Goku and Vegeta invite their nearest and dearest to a big ol' sit-down conversation, and Goku’s like, “Well…Vegeta and I have something we need to tell you…and it’s kinda…uh…well, it’s important…”

And Piccolo is immediately like, “WHO’S ATTACKING, WHERE ARE THEY FROM, WHAT ARE THEIR POWERS, HOW LONG DO WE TRAIN??!?!” and Bulma’s whippin’ out some scanners like, “I’M ON IT! I’LL FIND THOSE DRAGON BALLS TEN MINUTES AGO, GODDAMMIT!” and Krilin’s on Amazon ordering bulk Senzu Beans, and Gohan's making charts to organize schedules for the various training chambers, and Trunks and Goten are just already going Super-Saiyan in the background at the tops of their lungs because they’re Extra AF, and Goku is sitting there thinking like, Oh wow, is this that "cringe fail" thing the kids were talking about? Is this what it's like? Am I the cringe? AM I THE FAIL? This is quite the unforeseen gap in my training, I feel entirely unprepared for–

And Vegeta just sighs and picks up his phone and swipes through apps and blips at an icon, and a prank-style DJ air horn noise erupts into the room at an ungodly volume, and everyone screeches to a halt. (Except for Goten and Trunks, who snicker and high-five with goblin glee over the fact that he used it, he finally used it, and it could not have been more perfect.)

Vegeta frees a hand from his folded arms just long enough to point a finger toward Goku and drop a crisp, “We fuck now, get over it," into the middle of the empty silence like a hot-pink hand grenade, and Goku's soul leaves his goddamn body.

I hate to say it but Jonah Simms from Superstore is fully my type

thinking about pussy and going SSJGSSJ