Nubbyprince-blog - Tumblr Blog

are you a sits on the table gay, a sits on the floor gay, or a sits on other people’s laps gay

t minus one hour remaining

Lanque: when i leave, u wanna keep dOiN tHiS, but then, when i come around, you dont wanna POST UP

sometimes i sit and think about the fact that i will push friends away from me for no reason,, or break up with people before a year ever hits just because im scared of something

and u know what

now that im sitting here thinking about everything..... i might be mentally fucked because of shit ive dealt with over the years

im like,,, terrified to let people get too close, so i cover shit up with mean words and try and block and run and hide, or do whatever i can to just... impulsively forget and move on 

i grew up with suicidal tendencies and thoughts, and being yelled at over every little thing. im NEVER hugged, not unless im breaking down and already broken and the damage is there 

every bit of praise or love ive ever been given usually has some sort of hidden shit to it. whether it be guilt, or some sort of backwards insult that just takes the whole meaning away, or that for now the love is there, but later it’ll just be used against me over something petty to keep me around and make me miserable on top of it.

theres always been dual meanings to everything i’ve dealt with at home, and i’ll find myself reading way too deeply into little things with my non-familial relationships and then i become distant, or moody, or something else happens and something gets fucked up

and then when everything is said and done, im left sitting there with all my friends blocked, all my socials deleted, and this awful feeling still sitting in my gut, because tbh NONE of that actually helps, but it’s all i know to do, because one hand. i want the help.. i want people to know that i dont mean this shit, im just scared,, but on the other, i dont want people thinking bad of me. or telling me that using my abusive parents as an excuse isnt ok.

and i get it... its not. because at the end of the day, my parents never make my choices. i do. but it sure as hell would help me out if i just had normal, loving parents at the end of every day.... people who wouldnt make me overthink and anxious and bring me to tears every fucking night over shit that isnt even worth it really.

i hate being the way i am. i hate not knowing how my parents are gonna feel every day, or how *I’M* gonna feel from day to day because of them, or because of the mental illnesses

i want to be better, i dont want to ruin more relationships.... i hate hurting people just because im hurt and i dont know how to fucking function properly as a person with feelings anymore

i want to let people in... i want people to stay around with me for years instead of weeks,,,,, but its so fucking hard, 

Trauma in Bloom #1

can’t you just try harder? can’t you just try harder? can’t you just try harder? can’t you just try harder? can’t you j ust  tr y  h a r d er? c a n   t you j ust try   harde r?

HOW LAZY LAZY LAZY LAZY

It boggles my mind that some people actually have healthy relationships with their parents. Like, your parents don’t put you down and point out everything you did wrong when you’re down?? Aren’t you afraid of having your words put against you later??? Open communication??? Acceptance????? No insults or judgement??? Not even any victimizing???? You mean the thought of expressing your problems doesn’t send a paralyzing fear in every cell of your body??? Whaaat?????????????

Ill respect my elders if my elders dont disrespect me

When your parents dont let you go out therefore prohibiting you from fostering relationships with other people and holding back your social skills directly affectig your ability to make freinds so youre constantly lonely and feeling horrible about yourself because you think its because youre repulsive

I can’t believe that there’s people who don’t start crying when they think about their childhood

stop telling people who have abusive parents to “just leave” after they turn 18!!!!!!! it’s not that fucking simple!!!!!!!!!

i’ve been an adult for two years now and i STILL live in this hell hole. you know why? CONTROL. you can’t just walk out of the house and never look back like they do on tv. it doesn’t work that way. you take documents with you (that, if your parents are anything like mine, are locked up tight in a safe), you have to have enough money and a stable job and a place to go (which most victims are unable to get jobs due to mental/physical health or parent control), you have to move all your things out of their name (phone, car, etc). the list goes on. don’t you dare tell an adult victim that they’re just “not helping themselves”. i’m tired of hearing it.

adult victims of abusive parents: your abuse is still valid and i promise you there are those of us who understand and care.

(and before you try and pull the “here’s some suggestions” shit, my doctor has already met with a social worker with me. i’m stuck here for the time being. thanks for your concern but fuck off.)

sometimes i am suddenly reminded that childhood abuse is not a universal experience and that some people have loving and supportive parents who have never traumatized them and im just like ????

JESTERCORE is the hot new thing

sick of not having pointy ears fuck all life 

:3 !!! hI BBY !!!!!!

nubbyprince started following you

!!! : O MY PRINCE!

CATCH ME MAKING WARIAN ART UNTIL I GET MORE PEOPLE TO SHIP THEM WITH ME LKOJHBNKPLKJNBJ

i loVE THEY

but nobody came

fishy cold

im so sorry to everyone who’s followed me pkojbjnkplknjb

i promise im almost done with the late art/cosplay spam

its just been a hot minute since i was one here and i need to update stuff like hoo bOY

say hello to storm! my precious undertale oc whomst i love to bits

ok but hear me out.........

camp camp

but baby babies